Book Jacket

 

rank 884
word count 109027
date submitted 15.07.2009
date updated 20.07.2012
genres: Fiction, Popular Culture, Comedy, E...
classification: moderate
complete

Degree of Exposure

Eric Newman

Professionally reviewed as 'Witty novel ,superbly written, reminiscent of Tom Sharpe.'

Brings new hope for the dead. Even they could enjoy it.

Very sexy too.

 

On impulse Jack joins a creative writing class for something to do.

He is a bit flippant with the tutor, and is told to write 'something funny' for his first homework. The class like it, and as he adds other ideas during the course, he gradually finds it turning into a comic novel.

He fancies Janice, a beautiful classmate, and seeking to ingratiate himself with her he makes her the book's heroine.
Janice is the girl friend of the class tutor, so things get a touch tricky.

Jack's book becomes a savagely satirical and sexy piece of work, peopled with a host of comic characters behaving in an all too human way.....despicably.

It all builds up to a tremendous climax when the whole of Blackpool Illuminations (Northpool in the novel) is laid to waste by a series of clangers that drag the hero into deeper and deeper waters, from which there is seemingly no escape.

Then, with one mighty bound........ well, maybe......maybe not.

**********

.....



 
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tags

, diabolical, disturbing, earthy, explicit, laugh out loud funny, lewd, masochistic, poignant, rumbustious, sardonic, satirical saucy, sexy

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Twelfth class

 

In the immortal words of Sir Alex Ferguson, this first class after the Xmas break was ‘squeaky bum’ time for me. Armed with my latest chapter I walked in determined not to let anyone else see it before I had chance to show it to Janice in the pub afterwards. The last thing I wanted was for Frank to get his hands on it and read it out as an entertainment for all the rest of them, maybe as a revenge for whatever punishment Janice had meted out to him for what happened at the party. They greeted each other pleasantly enough though, so whatever she’d said to him couldn’t have been too devastating.

 

I needn’t have worried as it happened. Somebody else had been busy writing over the holiday. It was Damien, who came striding purposefully into the room and went straight to the front to stand next to Frank. ‘Sloth,’ he said, and promptly began reading his story out to us before his nerve failed him.

 

It was a frightening piece about a man who creates a computer virus worse than anything ever created before. It starts out as little programme that develops a life of its own, and slowly gets bigger and bigger, taking up more and more disk space on other computers as it comes in contact with them via the Internet.

Every computer then starts passing the virus on to every other computer so it grows exponentially and remorselessly day by day. Its effect is gradually to slow down all computers until they work at only a fraction of their usual speeds. This causes the world’s economy to grind steadily to a halt, astronauts are stranded in space, hospitals cannot function, air travel stops and cannibalism breaks out as food supplies run out in big cities. The tale went on and on in this vein, and didn’t get anymore cheerful.

 

Finally Damien suddenly said ‘That’s it. I’m telling you. That’s what’s going to happen. We rely too much on those things. It’ll be a judgement on us. We would go back to the stone age,’

Then he sat down again on the back row, and assumed his usual blank stare.

 

There was silence for a while as we all took this in. ‘Right,’ said Frank after this long pause. ‘That was really good Damien, very futuristic, very futuristic indeed. I was going to wish everyone a happy new year but maybe I shouldn’t now.’ This little joke was wasted on our storyteller. ‘Anyone got any comments?’ Nobody had.

 

Several of the ladies looked quite disturbed so Frank was keen to move on.

‘Do you have anything else for us Damien?’

Damien said nothing. 

‘Right,’ said Frank ‘Have you got anything for us Jack?’

‘Sorry, no.’

‘Janice?’

Luckily she had, but her story was in trouble. She’d introduced a handsome young detective to work on the case now, and he is fancied both by the remaining actress and the TV director who is bi sexual, just so as to juice the thing up a bit really. She’d used my idea of a psychopath playing a psychopath too and gave us a reading from a scene where the he wines and dines the actress on the pretext of getting more information about the dead girls which was fine, but she had no idea where to go with it from there.

Frank had us all involved in offering criticisms and suggestions, but none of that produced anything useful for her. She was a bit despondent by the end of the session, and what with Damien’s vision of the future, definitely needed cheering up.

 

‘Not at all bad, that stuff of yours tonight.’ I said when we were alone together later in the pub. As an attempt at encouragement it was pretty pathetic really, but it was the best I could come up with.

‘You really are a joker aren’t you?’ she said. ‘It was rubbish. No originality, no style, it had nothing about it whatsoever, and the main idea of that psychopath was yours not mine.

‘Hang on’ I said ‘It’s not easy coming up with fresh ideas in crime stories. DNA’s the only new angle there, and even that’s getting ‘done to death’ now, if you’ll pardon the expression.’

‘You’re right I suppose,’ she sighed. ‘But it’s really depressing reading over your own stuff and realising it is unadulterated crap. I’m just kidding myself thinking I will be able to write anything anyone will want to read.’

‘Nonsense, you’ve   just got a dose of the old ‘writer’s block’. Everybody gets it. It’ll pass.’

‘Is that why you didn’t have anything tonight?’

‘Well, no actually.  I have got some stuff, but I wanted you to see it first.’

And without more ado I handed her the chapter containing my carefully written, and endlessly re –written, love scene.

 

She took an age to read it, focusing keenly on the passage where Ken and Janice finally come together. Her mood visibly lightened. Then she read that section again, looked me in the eye, and weighed her words carefully before she spoke. ‘I think it’s time you invited me out for dinner.’

I was doubly surprised, firstly at what she had just said, and secondly at the speed of my reaction. ‘How about next Wednesday?’

‘That’ll be fine,’ she said, standing up to go. ‘I’m sure I won’t have anything on then.’

 

There was just no good answer to that, and after walking her back to her car as usual, I made my way back home, glowing with the thought I had finally made a breakthrough with her.

 It put me in the perfect mood to carry on writing about her namesake’s new love life immediately.

 

 

 

Next morning Janice was the first to awake, and opening her eyes took a moment to come to terms with her surroundings. Then with the memories of the night before flooding back into her mind she turned to find Ken lying still asleep beside her. Her first impulse was to kiss him, but she resisted, preferring for the moment to have the opportunity to study him while she was unobserved herself.

Their evening out together had allowed him plenty of time to tell her something more about himself, yet on each occasion she steered the conversation in this direction he equally smoothly went off on some other tack. Even when it was her life she was prepared to talk about. It was as if he deliberately resisted learning anything about her in case he was put in the position of having to reveal something of himself in return.

The thought crossed her mind that perhaps this ‘mystery man’ approach was maybe a line he shot to all women, relying on their natural curiosity to help him get to first base with them. Yet all her female instincts rebelled against this idea. The depth of their mutual attraction had become apparent to them both so quickly there had been no need for him to adopt such a strategy. Given this she would have expected him to be as anxious to learn all he could about her, as she was to know about him. One of the delights of a new love affair is this getting inside each other’s mind as well as their body.

Looking at him now she realised she was already in love with him, knowing nothing about him except he was divorced. Maybe that was it, maybe he wasn’t divorced at all. He wouldn’t be the first married man to pull that one on her, but she just couldn’t bring herself to believe it of him somehow. He seemed too….too….she was at a loss for a word to describe it really, ‘naive’ wasn’t right, and gauche’ he certainly wasn’t. She just couldn’t put her finger on it.

The fire and ardour of his kisses last night told her he hadn’t been getting any serious female attention lately, so why the mystery? Just what was a highly qualified personable guy like him doing organising a tiddly little course like this anyway?

As if wishing to put an end to these speculations Ken stirred in his sleep, and unable to resist her natural inclinations any longer Janice simply kissed him.

 

It was quite a way to be woken up. He opened his eyes, momentarily as oblivious of his whereabouts as she had been seconds before, and was then given no time to adjust himself before being pinned down by a warm, soft, beautiful body. He responded instantly and once again they made long lingering love to each other, this time thankfully without an audience.

 

 

Other awakenings in Sea View that day were less pleasant. The Major first transferred the patch from his partly healed left eye to cover his newly closed right one, the better to read all about himself in the Sunday newspapers Smoggin had thoughtfully spread out over his counterpane.

 

It was just the kind of publicity the Major most feared and had tried his hardest to avoid, even to the extent of taking the precaution, whilst biting the dust as a result of Leticia’s blows, of also biting through the telephone wires. But this attempt to impede the flow of modern communications, and isolate Sea View from the rest of the world, did not have any noticeable effect. By midnight a swarm of the most ruthless investigative reporters in the United Kingdom had descended on the hotel, under strict orders from their editors to get inside for an interview with the miscreant at all costs.

Neville had only one small thing going for him, Angela, and fortunately she was more than a match for the lot of them. They were still camped outside though, and by then he’d also had a strongly worded telegram from the National Grand Worshipful Master terminating his membership with immediate effect, and a bill delivered by hand from Tom Thornton for the cost of replacing ‘Tydos’ which, in accordance with the small print on the back of his ticket, was required to be returned, at the hirer’s expense, in the same state it was in when it was initially booked.

 

The result of not speaking to the media simply meant they went to everyone else for the information they required instead. Harold Chesters made a small fortune out of the bidding war for the photographs he’d taken, the best of which were now spread across the News of the World front page, with the rest spread around the other papers. These left little further to be known about the physical attributes of himself or Eunice, particularly himself. Catching a Mayor actually at it, wearing nothing much besides his chain of office, was manna from heaven for all of them. Even the posh Sundays covered the story, justifying their interest by putting it in the ‘local government’ section.

 

What really galled the Major, and formed the main part of his plea in mitigation to Letitia the night before, was that he had not actually touched Eunice at all, so he was being attacked for something he hadn’t done. This was dismissed as the mere technicality it was, and as Bill Clinton was to find out in a distant indiscretion, the cry of ‘I did not have sex with this woman’ availed him nothing in the ensuing hell that then befell him.  All his past indiscretions were raked over by his enraged spouse, including the one involving ‘Big Julie’, but they were as nothing compared to this one. News of them was at least confined to the Borough and its immediate environs. This exploit had turned him into a nationwide figure of fun, with his face and lesser attractive parts of his anatomy now the sport of millions. The whole of Britain had him by the ‘short and curlies,’ and he soon learned there were plenty of people out there who were happy to give them a long and painful tug.

 

Finally, too exhausted to hit him anymore, Letitia had gone back to her own room and left him to spend the rest of his night moving from bruise to bruise in search of the least agonising position in which to consider whether it was worth him continuing to exist at all.

 

It would have been much better for the Major’s peace of mind that morning for him not to read the tabloids laid out before him, but, as Smoggin anticipated, he was unable to resist the temptation. It was a grim way of receiving the ‘gift to see ourselves as others see us’. Worse even than reading one’s own obituary. Much worse, and with them there’s at least there’s a tradition of not speaking too ill of the dead.

But there was no such reticence here. He found there was a lot about himself even he didn’t know. He learned, for instance, he was of Viking descent as revealed by his very name, which itself proved to be against him in his hour of need. ‘Thwaite’ is apparently a direct derivation from the Norse word ‘Twatt’, and given that for starters the sub editors headline circuits went into overdrive.

 

The reporters’ collective imaginations then went on to leave nothing in the way of Rape and Pillage references to anyone else’s. Not to be outdone, the ‘News of the World’ pictures editor had grafted a pair of Viking horns on to the bowler hat he was wearing in the otherwise nude shots of his good -self. Another rag, priding itself on its investigative powers and punchy headlines had, within the few minutes available to it before Saturday night’s deadline, tracked down his connection with Big Julie.

A picture of her without her bra and wearing only the Town Hall Coat of Arms over her nether regions took up most of their front page, captioned ‘By appointment to the Mayor.’

 

Miss Bracegirdle for, her part, had escaped fairly lightly the previous evening. She sustained only a couple of nasty bites in her leg from Angela before managing to flee to her room as the main fury of the rest of the Thwaite family was directed at the erring husband and father. By that morning she was already back home, courtesy of an expensive taxi ride, and under deep sedation, dreaming of never having to come round again, but with another six month’s supply of sleeping pills to hand if she did.

 

The trouble with the kind of trouble the Thwaite’s were in is that the innocent can suffer as much as the guilty. Letitia was downing as many pills as Eunice, but hers were ‘uppers’. She felt she needed all the energy she could get to see her through what was probably going to be the most difficult day of her life. She too had seen all the newspapers, Cook had seen to that, so she knew the size of the task before her. Somehow she had to retain enough dignity for herself, if not her stupid husband, to be able to continue to live in Northpool when the relentless glare of this public spotlight moved on to somebody else.

 

The problem was that it couldn’t have happened at a worse time for them. Instead of them all just disappearing somewhere until all the fuss died down like normal fools would, she and Neville had to officiate at the ‘Switching On’ ceremony that very evening whether they liked it or not. Not to carry on with that would mean the end of everything for them, but there was no doubt in her mind that the sight of her husband performing his civic duties, attired once again in his confounded chain of office,  would touch off another feeding frenzy in the bunch of sharks circling outside their door.

There was nothing for it though but for her to tough it out. So if her fellow aldermen and their ladies thought she was going to collapse like a pricked balloon just because of what her stupid husband had done, then they’d got another think coming to them. As Northpool’s Mayoress she would go through with the show tonight as if nothing had happened, and more importantly so would Northpool’s Mayor, she’d see to that.

 

 

The return to consciousness of Zimmerman and his room- mate Sam Brophy, though less troublesome, wasn’t without incident either. Sam started talking about himself as usual, and Zimmerman listened for all of ten seconds before stopping him dead by breaking wind. The size of the Professor’s digestive system meant this was a considerable event and caused Sam to flee the room at once. Zimmerman quite liked the smell of his own farts and the sudden silence was something else he appreciated too. He also had slept too soundly to have heard the commotion in the hotel on the Major’s return the previous evening, so he was as yet unaware of the little local difficulty the place was engulfed in.

 

This was not the experience of everybody else there of course, they  were fully aware now of what was going on and delightedly found themselves at the centre of a sex scandal as good as anything Cabinet ministers can come up with. At breakfast they gossiped about Miss Bracegirdle’s goings on with the Major, almost too excited to eat, and Smoggin made a killing in tips providing invented background information on his employer which was a rehash of the stuff he’d already sold to the newspapermen outside.

In the exquisite pleasure of hacking poor Eunice’s reputation to shreds, the Professor’s field survey necessarily took second place. But as nine o’clock approached the wave of scandal had finally subsided sufficiently for them all to settle down and make their way into the conference room to check over the final details of their assignments before setting off for the day.

 

One thing they had all decided was that every last one of them would be staying that evening for the Lights Ceremony, so as to have the best possible tale to tell on their return to their offices next day.

 

Zimmerman did not come down to breakfast as he intended repeating his previous day’s arrangement of eating later and better with Smoggin and Cook. He was still unaware of the new situation when he joined the delegates for this final plenary session and put the air of excitement in his audience down to their continued enthusiasm for being allowed to become involved in field- work for him.

 

The last stroke he pulled was telling them they would now be given packed lunches to take out with them. This sandwich and an apple would save them the trouble of returning to the hotel for a meal, and thus give more time for his all-important questionnaires to be completed. His final instruction was they should all meet at the Stanley Baldwin Tea Rooms on the sea front at 5.30pm where he would be in attendance himself to collect the completed forms from them.

 

This arrangement suited Ken perfectly, not to mention the Thwaites. This lot missing the final lunch was all good news for them. For him it meant the course was to all intents and purposes over, so within the next half hour or so at the latest, the way would be clear for him to spend another perfect day with Janice. She had already offered to give him a lift back home so all he had to do then would be to get her to drop him off in front of some imposing hotel pretending he was rooming there, and that would be that, for the time being at least. He would then find another cheap boarding house, ‘sign on’ again, then resume the relationship just as soon as the cheques for the balance of his fees came rolling in and he could get himself a decent place to live.

 

He was even looking forward to taking part in Zimmerman’s questionnaire exercise, charade though it probably was, as a harmless way of passing time in Janice’s company. It would give them something to do all day which wouldn’t involve him in spending the little of Evelyn Ogle’s cash he had left.

He was also aware of what the Major had been up to by now, but simply thought it served the old bugger right, and the attendant free press coverage wouldn’t do his course any harm either.

 

 

Chapters

17

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Cly wrote 1022 days ago

Hi Eric,
As I've stated in previous comments, I think you're an absolutely brilliant writer! This book is hilarious, when I wasn't laughing out loud, I was at least smirking to myself. I was drawn into your story, both of them, not only by the vivid descriptions, but by the ease with which you tell the story, not to mention the surprise developments, one after another, each more bizarre than the last. I have not been this excited about a book in very long time. As far as comedy, it may very well be the best I ever read. Thank you for a most enjoyable read!
Kind Regards
Cly

Jared wrote 1264 days ago

Eric, this is a wonderful premise and how well you carry it off. I knew from reading your bio page, which is simply brilliant, that I'd love this book. You have an instinct for comedy, whether it be broad or subtle, and the skill to express yourself to maximum effect. I've read all you've posted, enjoyed it all hugely, and placed an order with Amazon for the completed book. You'll have probably guessed by now that I've loved your book.
I found nothing that warranted bringing to your attention; this is writing of professional quality, honed to perfection and an object lesson to many of the members of this site, myself most definitely included, in how to present a piece of work that requires no further editorial attention. I was also pleased to see you had included "rumbustious" as one of your tags. A splendid description of many aspects of your work. As a counterpoint, I'd also add "sensitivity."
Backed with enthusiasm.
Jared.

sodyt wrote 1274 days ago

I'm up to chapter 9 and I can barely wait to continue. This is a masterful story-within-a-story. And did I say my face hurts? From laughing? I'm driving my family nuts -- "Come here, you've gotta read this" or "Listen to this paragraph or this line."
And it's not that you've created outlandish characters or situations (not much anyway) - it's grounded and real and that makes it even funnier.

Backed with wild enthusiasm - checkbook in hand waiting for the first copy to hit Borders.

Diane
The Guardian Chronicles: Seduction


Hi Diane.
Thanks for backing D of E.. and for the heartwarming, rib tickling, ego massaging comments. You have made an old man quite pleased !!!
Assuming you are not pulling my leg, Degree of Exposure is available on Amazon Books. (Borders is apparently now going bust) Actually several kind Authonomists have already bought copies for Xmas for family and friends.
Have WLd your opus and will be back to you witjh comments shortly. Eric

Maria Luisa Lang wrote 1362 days ago

Dear Eric, I’m having a wonderful time with this highly entertaining book: I enjoy how you interweave Jack’s novel into yours, using the evolution of the latter as a parallel to Jack’s involvement with Janice and Frank. Indeed, along with two stories containing hilarious characters and their antics, you also manage to include a very accurate demonstration of how fiction is written.

Your own writing would impress even Frank: the narrative is vivid, quick, and filled with telling images and phrases; the dialogue is replete with realistically superficial exchanges that pass for communication, but become painfully funny when caught in print.

Characters that look and sound as funny as yours are truly rare: it can’t simply be that you meet particularly peculiar people, so I must attribute to you a knack for identifying human peculiarities generally. I also see a fertile, deviously comic imagination at work here: you brilliantly select and exaggerate to achieve the fullest effect, and, as with all masters of comedy, your timing is perfect.

An extremely high degree of pleasure. On my shelf. Maria, The Pharaoh’s Cat

LondonFog wrote 9 days ago

Hi Eric,

Only had chance to read the first chapter but i was impressed with your skills. The way you introduce the characters and the playful way you expose soft stereotypes , the tightness of the story is also something to be admired. From what i've read so far i am confident in saying i will be back for more. Definatley on my watch list!

Tom
Paradise, Volume I

Tornbridge wrote 26 days ago

Degree of Exposure
By Eric Newman

This is a funny opening (ooh err missus) and effortless prose. I like the line about not fancying the women on the antiques road show who know all about the toys. I liked the later comparison between life’s problems now in the 70’s with Al Queda vs the TUC.

The comic style to this is obvious and it felt like putting on a pair of lovely comedy slippers. Like Tom Sharpe and even maybe the old TV series’ ever decreasing circles’, there is much wit to be tapped in the everyday life of middle England.

Having read a few chapters, I then read the bio and a couple of things fell into place. Firstly, the depth of experience you bring to the page - let’s face it you’re no spring chicken and likely remember running home up that cobbled hill from the mine with a white loaf under your arm. Secondly, you’re no stranger to writing.

Best of luck with this, Eric. I’ll give you 5 stars just for fighting in the war.

Tornbridge
The Washington Adventure

Iva P. wrote 153 days ago

Dear Eric,

After reading the catchy long pitch, I had a quick look at the first chapter. I found good stuff there and I expect to return after Christmas to read more, but for the moment I have the following suggestion:

“I certainly hadn’t expected meeting up with anyone like her in a place like this.”

The question - what kind of a place is it? - is not answered for the next five or six paragraphs. Don’t assume that the chapter title explains everything. I suggest that instead of hanging the reader in a vacuum, you should replace “place like this” with “creative writing class”. Now you have the reader instantly grounded with three simple words.

Hope this helps,

Iva

Brian G Chambers wrote 155 days ago

Oh Eric what a howler. The second chapter with them in the boat had me in stiches. I have a very visual imagination and could see exactly what you were writing. The line where she loosened her hair and let it flow, to mid ear lenghth was really funny. Then she kicked their clothes overboard. Great great stuff. You'll do well with this. Six stars from me and going on my WL.
Brian.

Janet/Helen wrote 163 days ago

Degree of Exposure. chapters 1/3 inc.
Has this book been away for its holidays? What are you Authonomy readers doing for goodness sake? Why is this not on 300 bookshelves? It is superb writing, hilarious, and just makes you laugh from one line to the next. Is it only me who likes to have a really good laugh?
6 stars, on watchlist for a shelfspace at the end of this month. Janet

Janet/Helen
The Stranger In My Life

Kit Fox wrote 165 days ago

Hi Eric,

You have had heaps of great comments on this so hardly need mine. Oh if you insist then. I love your style of writing, it is both witty and sharp. Love the characters and the idea of telling the story within the story, great idea. If I'm being critical, I would like to see more description of place and people to compliment the voices and situations. This should really have hit the Editors desk so I will hold a book shelf eviction ceremony and give you my backing.

I was a soldier once too. Excused boots rather than rifle - probably to stop me running away ;-)

All the best

Kit Fox

Software wrote 169 days ago

Oh, I like this. Its irreverent, pithy and precise with its deconstruction of myths and holy cows. It makes the funny bone ache from the off with a lively creation of instantly recognizable characters and the unforeseen affairs that overtake them. Lot of careful craft has gone into making this contemporary comedy both engaging and a page turner. Recommended and highly starred.

Clive Radford
Doghouse Blues

GOTHIC-PAGE-TURNER wrote 296 days ago

Eric,
The opening had me laughing immediately - own Teeth, haha! The initial dialogue between Janice and Jack is natural/believable.
Love it when the techy says 'My mother says I should get out more.'
I've only read first chapter but will definitely read more. Why? Because this is comical, fresh, witty.
Eric - you're a great writer - I didnt even pick up on any typo's or grammar/pov problems. Fabulous. AJB

sodyt wrote 297 days ago

Your writing is witty, fluid and all around well put together. I appreciate your sense of humor. You've clearly made good use of your decades of practice, and the fact that you've maintained your sharpness is reassuring for those of us trailing behind you. I couldn't find anything to nitpick at all, darn it! Best of luck with this.
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/



Hi Tod. Many thanks for your kind comments on Degree of Exposure. Much appreciated.
I have WLd your book and will get back to you on it soonest. Loved the title which
promises much inventiveness within.. Cheers Eric

Tod Schneider wrote 297 days ago

Your writing is witty, fluid and all around well put together. I appreciate your sense of humor. You've clearly made good use of your decades of practice, and the fact that you've maintained your sharpness is reassuring for those of us trailing behind you. I couldn't find anything to nitpick at all, darn it! Best of luck with this.
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Odette67 wrote 299 days ago

HI Eric,

i wondered if you fancied swapping books, comments etc. its taken me a while, i think imight nearly have the hang of it now?
I have put your book on my watchlist and have a read in a little while

many thanks

kate

off the rails

back to you

Colin Neville wrote 326 days ago

I like the way that this is a story within a story. The creative writing class gives Jack an opportunity to blend real life with fiction, as fiction and his present life combine in his story.

The novel starts in a subtle way and it soon became clear that the witty personal ads were part of a creative writing class. I enjoyed the writing class scenes very much indeed: inhabited by recognisable students, and certainly a recognisable tutor - both in his personality and the lazy way he ran the class.

I liked the emerging background storylines of Jack and Janice, who felt very real characters to me. The dialogue in both the evening class, and within the inner story work well too, and there were some very funny and recognisable sections - particularly in the Jobcentre and at the university (chapter 6 has been loaded twice).

The writing is assured and confident, although felt that too many exclamation marks was reducing the desired effect.

Books including scenes in creative writing classes are often of interest to readers interested in the creative writing process, so I felt, therefore, that the author could break up the inner stories a little more by describing or reflecting on the process, e.g. telling us how he is going about writing the scene; his feelings at the time etc., then returning to the inner story. I felt this would add a multi-dimensional structure to these sections and would also add additional interest to those readers interested in writing. It could also show us how Jack is relating/linking his current emotions to the inner story.

Engaging work; I particularly liked the two-tier level of writing here - a good idea.

Colin Neville

sandy-1 wrote 369 days ago

DEGREE OF EXPOSURE

I love the sense of humour!
I loved the beginning, it created a great picture in my mind, and I couldn't wait to find out what was going to happen next in the second chapter, it was so funny.
This is a great page-turner, its well written and extremely funny.
Highly starred!
Ruby Middleton
'Will Ryan'

JamesRevoir wrote 374 days ago

Hello Eric:

Although Degree of Exposure is not my normal genre, I have to say that you have been uniquely gifted with a tremendous sense of humor. It is very rare that I encounter a book in which every character is actually likeable, but you have achieved this distinction in this book.

Best of luck and success.

James

Tod Schneider wrote 384 days ago

A well written tale, with snappy dialog and good pacing. The interwoven stories work well.
Best of luck with this!
--Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

patio wrote 389 days ago

this is a excellent piece of narrative. i'm hooked

sodyt wrote 391 days ago

{Degree of Exposure} – Eric Newman
Chapter 1:

I like the idea and the way you open this book, with snappy dialogue that makes the reader jump into the scene. The first person works well, and I like the approach you take. Cleverly done!

Here are just some detailed notes I made, that I hope you will find useful! All humble suggestions, feel free to take or leave anything :)

Para ‘I certainly hadn’t expected meeting up…’ → the second sentence has two ‘was’ in it, and I feel it could be smoother. Perhaps reword these sentences to something like: ‘She was a lot younger than me, probably mid-twenties, looking stunning in her stylish clothes. Out of my league to be honest. Not that I’m getting past it, you understand.’ → Because of the perspective, ‘probably’ implies this is his best guess. Furthermore, I cut off the sentence at ‘out of my league’ because I thought a short phrase mimics thought process more. Put a comma in as well in sentence ‘not that I’m getting past it, you understand’ also to create some more variation in tone and rhythm.

Para ‘So what we were both looking for…’ → sentence feels a little wordy and I don’t feel that ‘along presumably’ works well in that order. How about: ‘So what we were both looking for, presumably along with everyone else in the room, was expert guidance from a published author willing to share his skills.’ → ‘with us’ is implicit, because they are the subject. I also changed around ‘along presumably’ to ‘presumably aong.’

How about just simply; ‘And we got Frank O’Malley.’ → shorter and more impact. Removed ‘was’ as well, which feels passive. I also don’t think that ‘what we got’ makes too much sense, because Frank is a person, so it should be ‘who’, then again that doesn’t fit the sentence…

Maybe some more dialogue modifiers in the section of dialogue beginning ‘No. This is a first for me.’ → Then again your writing is quite clear, and I understand wanting to just have short dialogue statements to keep the pace moving! :) Either way it works

How about; ‘Middle-aged women made up the rest of the class’ → eliminates passive voice ‘was made up’ and makes the women the subject of the sentence. Just a thought

But overall, a balanced beginning that engages the reader. Very well written too, I’m just an extremely fussy person :P so the above suggestions are all incredibly nit-picky! I look forward to reading more of this when I get the chance :)

Cara
The Awakening: Dawn of Destruction



Hi Cara .
Thanks for taking the trouble to give me your detailed comments on Chapter One of my book.

The problem is that I write with a certain style and flow. What you say is perfectly valid, but I run the risk of overwriting if I start to polish it to the extent you suggest.

As you will see from many of the other comments, it is not a problem for most people.

I have Wld your book, and will get back to you on it shortly, tho as you have spotted. fantasy is really not my thing. Regards Eric

Cara Gold wrote 392 days ago

{Degree of Exposure} – Eric Newman
Chapter 1:

I like the idea and the way you open this book, with snappy dialogue that makes the reader jump into the scene. The first person works well, and I like the approach you take. Cleverly done!

Here are just some detailed notes I made, that I hope you will find useful! All humble suggestions, feel free to take or leave anything :)

Para ‘I certainly hadn’t expected meeting up…’ → the second sentence has two ‘was’ in it, and I feel it could be smoother. Perhaps reword these sentences to something like: ‘She was a lot younger than me, probably mid-twenties, looking stunning in her stylish clothes. Out of my league to be honest. Not that I’m getting past it, you understand.’ → Because of the perspective, ‘probably’ implies this is his best guess. Furthermore, I cut off the sentence at ‘out of my league’ because I thought a short phrase mimics thought process more. Put a comma in as well in sentence ‘not that I’m getting past it, you understand’ also to create some more variation in tone and rhythm.

Para ‘So what we were both looking for…’ → sentence feels a little wordy and I don’t feel that ‘along presumably’ works well in that order. How about: ‘So what we were both looking for, presumably along with everyone else in the room, was expert guidance from a published author willing to share his skills.’ → ‘with us’ is implicit, because they are the subject. I also changed around ‘along presumably’ to ‘presumably aong.’

How about just simply; ‘And we got Frank O’Malley.’ → shorter and more impact. Removed ‘was’ as well, which feels passive. I also don’t think that ‘what we got’ makes too much sense, because Frank is a person, so it should be ‘who’, then again that doesn’t fit the sentence…

Maybe some more dialogue modifiers in the section of dialogue beginning ‘No. This is a first for me.’ → Then again your writing is quite clear, and I understand wanting to just have short dialogue statements to keep the pace moving! :) Either way it works

How about; ‘Middle-aged women made up the rest of the class’ → eliminates passive voice ‘was made up’ and makes the women the subject of the sentence. Just a thought

But overall, a balanced beginning that engages the reader. Very well written too, I’m just an extremely fussy person :P so the above suggestions are all incredibly nit-picky! I look forward to reading more of this when I get the chance :)

Cara
The Awakening: Dawn of Destruction

Brigitte_2 wrote 395 days ago

Hi Eric, great idea for an introduction to your story. You nearly lost me with the introduction, which was too much home turf until the story took off and I want to read more.
deserves a good star rating and the rest.
Brigitte
You will dance again!

fictionguy wrote 395 days ago

This is very good and a sense of humor at last on thism site. I took to it more because I taught creative writing in college for a few years and after I retired did some teaching like that person, but I was never a hippie, though I like some of the music. Not all. You're right about couples. If you ever feel down, go toi the local marriage license office and watch the couples coming out. You'll have no idea who these people ever met or got together,
after while, you will be rolling on the floor laughing.
I like the writing style, the insights and of course, the humor. I give it four stars and will probably come back to read the rest when things calm down here.. Let me know when it is published. I will spread the word.

Tom Bye wrote 396 days ago

Hello Eric-
book Degree of Exposure-

~~read the first five chapters and then some more at random-
the cover alone is a pull in- that hat on the top of Blackpool tower - like it-

it's a very good book laced as it is with humour- of more interest to those of us, who at any stage
attended a creative writing class-

Liked this one with Frank at the helm as he thinks of the class as two divisions- the writers and the non writers-
It's written in an updated style that moves along at a fast pace-

Really enjoyed what i have read and it did have me smiling to myself-

good luck with this most enjoyable read-

Tom Bye
book- from hugs to kisses-
have a feeling that your might enjoy chapters 36-38-41- please read if you can- thanks

benedict wrote 398 days ago

Hi Eric,

this is for the read swap we agreed to.

This is great fun. I'm really enjoying it. A brilliant, witty opening that made me laugh out loud sets up an extremely funny story.

Having taught and participated in them, I can very much recognise the creative writing class atmosphere and the teacher is quite an intriguing character from the outset. I hope you continue to develop typical Cre Writ class scenarios as the book continues - over precious/sensitive writers, pretentiousness, endless emotional poetry, making people cry (something I've achieved more than once). It is a situation ripe for comedy and I will have to read on to find out.

Here are my close comments on the first two chapters
Fantastic opening
What about - Aspiring Actress seeks Youthful, Passionate, Handsome, Multi- Millionaire OCTOGENERIAN. Recent photo and Certified Accounts required.’

I certainly hadn’t expected TO MEET up
- infinitive after expect

two ladies on the ‘Antiques Road Show’
– second quotation mark

The ice breaking exercise he’d set us to start off with was quite a neat idea THOUGH. IT did serve to get us all chatting – Was a very long sentence – better divided up like this into two?

some of them can be attracted to A ‘bit of rough’ like him.
-also, maybe ‘lecturer’s perks’ doesn’t need the punctuation, it automatically makes people stop and read it ‘ironically’ and you already have another 'one in the same sentence.’ - see what I mean?

‘So what had you got in mind?’ = ‘So what sort of thing did you have in mind?’
- perhaps sounds more natural?

In this chapter I found Frank quite likeable, is that what you intended?

Ch2
,all manner of persons DESIRE all other manner of persons
-you’re not talking about love, your talking about attraction and sex.

continue to happen, ad hoc, ad infinitum, ad NAUSEAM.
-typo? (I think, I don't speak Latin, is this a special conjugation?) but I also moved the ad nauseam to the end as I feel it’s the real cynical punch line
-very funny!

was just such an archetypal case of empathy at first sight. They shared just about a
-two justs

Popeye and Olive Oyl. Suddenly there was no tomorrow, only now.
-full stop in middle

satisfy their passions. WITHIN moments they had arranged a tryst for that very afternoon, which was the earliest time the Major could get AWAY.
-full stop and deleted words at end for punchiness

swainette nevertheless
all-seeing
local rate
-unnecessary spaces in each phrase

Thornton would still be incapable in some pub
– incapacitated maybe? Incapable’s not clear

What are the ping pong balls for? Am I being naive?

Sea Goddess – no capitals also maybe sea nymph would be more fitting –she seems to be submissive in her fantasies

too much for any woman to bear. – to bear would be negative, to resist/handle would work better

All this experience he now intended TO BRING
-infinitive after intend

anything she had ever EXPERIENCED before, and in so doing his own

feelings would be transported to the very highest level the depths his depravities were capable of descending into.
-mixed metaphor intentional? Descending to the highest level...?

Too gay an abandonment IT turned out, as in her ecstasy she kicked the bag (comma) containing all their clothes (comma) clean over the side.
– jarring as you have to read it a couple of times to realise you’re not talking about clean clothes. Maybe add the two commas to slow the sentence down or delete the words between commas.

Really looking forward to reading more, let me know if my comments are helpful - though of course they are just suggestions.

highly starred!

Benedict

EllieMcG wrote 398 days ago

I won't lie. I started reading because I thought you had the funniest profile on authonomy. "Double Incontinence," indeed. With high expectations, I began Degree of Exposure. You didn't disappoint.
Your story-within-a-story in chapter 2 is perfectly ridiculous. "affection for the very young and the very dead." I've never laughed at a joke about paedophilia before, so I'm not sure if I should congratulate you, or despise you for making me feel terrible about myself for laughing aloud. The descriptions are suitably ludicrous, often hilariously revolting.
I'm up to chapter 4. I occasionally have difficulty following the second-story. Though I get the feeling this is purposeful.
Overall, great stuff. Six stars from me.
Elspeth

Margaret0307 wrote 398 days ago

A brilliant idea to weave one story into another and this has been done very skilfully. This book is well-written and very entertaining. It is also clear the author understands human nature! The various characters Frank, Janice, the Major, Ken, Mavis etc are very ‘real’ in many ways. The Major’s sexual fantasies; the rivalry between Frank and Jack regarding Janice – and having to wait several chapters before Jack finally asks Janice out; the perceptive comment about ‘how quickly people can adapt to sudden changes in their circumstances’ with the example of the lottery and Ken’s behaviour and much more besides.

It is also a great idea to then bring Janice into the book thus bringing the two stories together.

Whilst this is not usually the sort of book I would choose to read I can nevertheless still be impressed by the talent of the writer. I have rated it highly and would summarise it as witty, perceptive, entertaining and very well written.

Margaret
How do I know I know God?

scoz512 wrote 398 days ago

Eric, thanks for takig me up on the offer. I gobbled up the first two chapters and then there was an error when I got to chapter 3. I skipped to chapter 4 (stupid-I know) and got a bit lost...duh! so I will have to come back and check in on chapter 3 again some time.

But so far let me just say that your book is very light-hearted and fun. I enjoyed it from the get-go and I'm certain the rest will continue to deliver. Jack's voice is easy and honest, but not overdone in the first person like some new writing tends to be. I like his point of view, the "middle-aged women" in the class described as "groupies" had be cracking up. In short-he's believable and likable which is certainly important in an MC. I also love the writing within a writing. Not that this idea has never been done, but you don't see it very often and you do a fantastic job. I like the way Jack writes as well as thinks.
I would only say that there are a few moments where a comma could come in use (e.g.) very beginning "out of my league, to be honest" and "Not that I'm getting past it, you understand"

Also, I want to know a little more about Jack right off the bat that doesn't have to deal with the class. I'm only saying this after reading a few chapaters and I am most certain that you do more of this later on, I just wanted to point out that I'm alreadt itching for more details. Otherwise, I might get the feeling I'm back in college taking a creative writing class myself. Not so bad-but I want more of Jack's life.

That's all for now. Sorry I didnt 'get further yet, I just got distracted with that error on chapter 3

Sara

sodyt wrote 399 days ago

It was your bio that attracted me to your book. I think mine may need a bit of work. You are a very clever writer with too much wit for one man. This is a keeper, which means it must be bought in hard back and kept on your book shelf to be revisited time and time again. While I wait for it to be published I will give it space on my virtual shelf and continue to read and laugh.
My very best wishes,
Olive.

Hi Olive. Your wait is ov er!!! My book is available at a modest price, second hand, on Amazon books uk, alsoon Kindle. Thanks for the kind review. I have Wld Your book and will be back to you on it shortly. Cheers Eric

sodyt wrote 399 days ago

The structure of this story around the writer attending a writing class really works for me. I'm interesting in the class - having been to a few! - and enjoying the comedy there. It's great then, to see how the story within a story develops in response to his attending the class. Very clever!
I've read to the end of chapter 4 so far and I have lots of favorite bits but the sexual energy created by the Major's mustache will stay with me for some time!
One of the great fun reads on Authonomy, I think.
Best,
Kate
The Licenser

Hi Kate . Thanks for the splendid review. I have a bit of a moustache myself, tho its withering a bit now.... much like the rest of me !!! I have WLd your book and will get back to you on it soon. Cheers Eric

sodyt wrote 399 days ago

I found it hard to read it online - I wanted to read it in paperback - on the beach to get the full impact of the humour, the interwoven story. I hope you do well.
All teh best
Bridget
The Road from Makhonwja



Hi Spice. Assuming you are not pulling my leg, my book is available, at a modest price second hand, on amazon books uk also on Kindle. Have wld your book and will read it soon. Cheers eric

sodyt wrote 399 days ago

Dear Eric,
It is quite obvious from perusing a few of the comments below that you have won over some very fervent fans and there is no wondering why when one reads your book. It is surely one of the cleverest stories I have ever read. To say I am in love with it is an understatement. Awe and adoration get a bit closer.
With that said, I intend to prove my devotion to your work by pointing out a few mistakes that others have probably skipped over in their enthusiasm to read more of your fantastic story. I only point these out as I am sure that you will want to correct them once they come to your attention. They are minor typing errors so fixing them will only add a bit of extra shine to what is already a brilliant work of art. Here goes!
Chapter #3
1.After all her mam kept going on about her eating peanut butter...
I think a comma following ALL will make this sentence easier to read.
1a. After all, her mam kept going on about her eating peanut butter...
2.but all set to fire the first shot in her mother's campaign get Ken firmly...
There obviously needs to be the word TO inserted after CAMPAIGN.
2a. but all set to fire the first shot in her mother's campaign to get Ken firmly...
3.Catching him in still bed for warmth and comfort..
You want to rearrange IN and STILL.
3a. Catching him still in bed for warmth and comfort...
4. ...to surround him with sufficient of her cleavage to make any escape...
You want to insert a word after SUFFICIENT. I'm guessing you wanted to write AMOUNT here.
4a. ...to surround him with sufficient amount of her cleavage to make any escape...

Okay, that's enough for now. I haven't read beyond chapter three but I certainly intend to do that in the near future. Eric, I would be deeply honored if you would perchance take a look at my humble offering, What We Live For. It is my first attempt at writing anything akin to a book so don't expect too much. Still, your feedback would be very much appreciated.
Bye for now!
Anthony



Hi Anthony. thanks for your generous comments. Much appreciated. I have Wld your book and will be back to you on it shortly.

I have taken on board that my reviews are a bit ancient and will put up some more recent ones. Happily I have plenty to choose from. Regards Eric

Antonius Metalogos wrote 399 days ago

Dear Eric,
It is quite obvious from perusing a few of the comments below that you have won over some very fervent fans and there is no wondering why when one reads your book. It is surely one of the cleverest stories I have ever read. To say I am in love with it is an understatement. Awe and adoration get a bit closer.
With that said, I intend to prove my devotion to your work by pointing out a few mistakes that others have probably skipped over in their enthusiasm to read more of your fantastic story. I only point these out as I am sure that you will want to correct them once they come to your attention. They are minor typing errors so fixing them will only add a bit of extra shine to what is already a brilliant work of art. Here goes!
Chapter #3
1.After all her mam kept going on about her eating peanut butter...
I think a comma following ALL will make this sentence easier to read.
1a. After all, her mam kept going on about her eating peanut butter...
2.but all set to fire the first shot in her mother's campaign get Ken firmly...
There obviously needs to be the word TO inserted after CAMPAIGN.
2a. but all set to fire the first shot in her mother's campaign to get Ken firmly...
3.Catching him in still bed for warmth and comfort..
You want to rearrange IN and STILL.
3a. Catching him still in bed for warmth and comfort...
4. ...to surround him with sufficient of her cleavage to make any escape...
You want to insert a word after SUFFICIENT. I'm guessing you wanted to write AMOUNT here.
4a. ...to surround him with sufficient amount of her cleavage to make any escape...

Okay, that's enough for now. I haven't read beyond chapter three but I certainly intend to do that in the near future. Eric, I would be deeply honored if you would perchance take a look at my humble offering, What We Live For. It is my first attempt at writing anything akin to a book so don't expect too much. Still, your feedback would be very much appreciated.
Bye for now!
Anthony

SpicePepe wrote 399 days ago

I found it hard to read it online - I wanted to read it in paperback - on the beach to get the full impact of the humour, the interwoven story. I hope you do well.
All teh best
Bridget
The Road from Makhonwja

katemb wrote 399 days ago

The structure of this story around the writer attending a writing class really works for me. I'm interesting in the class - having been to a few! - and enjoying the comedy there. It's great then, to see how the story within a story develops in response to his attending the class. Very clever!
I've read to the end of chapter 4 so far and I have lots of favorite bits but the sexual energy created by the Major's mustache will stay with me for some time!
One of the great fun reads on Authonomy, I think.
Best,
Kate
The Licenser

Olive Field wrote 400 days ago

It was your bio that attracted me to your book. I think mine may need a bit of work. You are a very clever writer with too much wit for one man. This is a keeper, which means it must be bought in hard back and kept on your book shelf to be revisited time and time again. While I wait for it to be published I will give it space on my virtual shelf and continue to read and laugh.
My very best wishes,
Olive.

jlbwye wrote 400 days ago

Degree of Exposure. Love the humour of your pitch, promising a lively and entangled plot.

Ch.1. Oh dear, I've never discovered what GSOH stands for - perhaps you can enlighten an ignorant old lady?
You're a professional. It stands out a mile. And I know I wont find any (unintentional) nits. (parenthesis added with hindsight).
That first scene is spot on.

Ch.2. You've got me giggling like a schoolgirl already, with that 'first attempt' at a story. '... in his wettest dreams...' And the literary inuendos, many of which I'm sure are right over my head. But I, too, was tickled by the Michael Angelo reference.
And I just love Eunice when she says 'You dont even know which direction we should be going in.' And kicking the engine - What fun.

Ch.3. This part is a bit boring, after the excitement of Chapetr 2. There's too much preamble.

Ch.4. Now you're getting down to brass tacks. This story has many levels. Clever. You're getting further and further away from the beginning ... where's the plot? Lost it?
And there's an awful lot of culling which'll need to be done to that story.
Ah - we're at last coming round to the point - but I prefer the 'real' bits in the classroom...

A masterful parody indeed, from which much to learn if one is so inclined.

Thankyou for the entertainment.
It's an honour being on your shelf. Here's a sprinkling of stars as a thankyou for being such a loyal supporter. I'm so grateful, and hope you'll continue to the end, which is now actually in my sights!
Jane.

tojo wrote 401 days ago

I have stopped at chapter 6 just to add my comment, then go back to reading it. If your feeling down and need cheering up, you could drink a bottle of whiskey or read this book. The whiskey will leave you a thumping head ache and empty pocket, this book will only leave you with a delightful ache in your thighs through laughing so much. Crits, sorry too busy laughing to notice any, there probably is, I just don-t give a damn. 6 ******

Portraits Of A Small Peasant.

Wanttobeawriter wrote 403 days ago

DEGREE OF EXPOSURE
I was a creative writing major in college so have set through classes like this where the teacher gave us a writing assignment, then read the morning paper. So identified with Jack from the start. He’s a sympathetic character because he’s trying something new. His first short story is good. I’m wondering, tho, if you want to include the whole story at this point (it really breaks up the flow of the story). Maybe have him struggle to write it and break it into small bits so his relationship with Janice can flourish? Either way, this is a good read. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

LizX wrote 403 days ago

The first paragraph with the abbreviated descriptions of each character made made me wonder if they were in a writing class or a dating agency. “Hello, I'm Jack Baxter.” would have been a more realistic introduction. Unless it was something Frank had them write down and hand around, it didn't come over as natural speech. Not many people describe themselves in initial abbreviations – it didn't help because I haven't got a clue what G.S.O.H was.

The rest of the chapter was good. Frank looks as though he could well take over prime position. His character and dialogue were excellent.

For some reason, I got the impression Janice was new to the class as well, but as she was familiar with Frank then she obviously wasn't. Wondered why Jack didn't have some internal thought on that.

There was a tiny slip out of pov in the sentence which started “Right,” said Frank. Jack wouldn't have known whether or not Frank thinking his leg had been pulled. As the rest of the chapter was from Jack's pov it jarred.

The comic scene which comprises most of chapter two was well executed. It's sheer graphicness in the description department made sure my feet got wet when they fell off the lilo. Ver funny and with no edit nits to distract from the action.

I was a bit disappointed in chapter three when Jack disappeared to be replaced again by the major and his wife. I wanted more Jack, more Janice and alright, I'll admit it.... much more of Frank.

The start of four re-captivated me once more with the interaction in the writing class...but I wanted more. I wanted to know what went on between Frank and Janice when he was getting a ride home. What she got up to when she wasn't in class and Frank too. They are three really strong characters which seem to have been relegated to back stage when they should be in the limelight.

Am still reading, but work calls... even on a Sunday. So will catch up with you again during the week.

Adeel wrote 404 days ago

An amusing, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Eddie Santos wrote 404 days ago

I've read only two chapters from 'Degree of Exposure', as this is all the time I had left for reading today, but I wished I had more hours in my day to read all the chapters of this book in one go.
It is funny, entertaining, well written. A wonderfull piece of work. It may need a bit of editing, but I can not actually judge editing or punctuation, as English is not my first language. I can only say that this is a great book and I look forward reading some more tomorrow evening, when I may have some more time. I am rating it with 6 stars and adding to my watching list. As soon as it is possible it should be on my shelf for a few days for support, as it deserves, but I am happy to back it at any time when it get closer to the editor's desk.
Eddie

Estelene wrote 404 days ago

I laughed when I read the comment about sexual attraction keeping poets in poverty. I enjoyed reading a few chapters and will read more when I have a chance. Chapter 3 made me laugh, since I recently went to a writing workshop myself.

I will comment that I’m having an easier time hearing these characters than seeing them. Your dialogue sounds natural to my ear as I read, but I think I would enjoy reading you more if you balanced that good dialogue out with some equally good images and description.

Mindy Haig wrote 404 days ago

Hi Eric!
I just dropped in to check out your book! I really like the layout of writing a story within the story. It is very funny, well written, I did not notice any gramatical errors or typos, the only thing I did want to mention is that you have Ken in 1971 and a reference to Bill Clinton that is maybe outside his timeline.
High stars! i look forward to reading more!
Mindy
The Wishing Place

Greenleaf wrote 404 days ago

Interesting premise--a book about a writer and his book within your book. This is hilarious and well-written. I was immediately drawn in. Great job!

Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

sodyt wrote 404 days ago

The first chapter is brilliant. It grabbed me right away with the conversation between the narrator and Janice and kept be interested throughout. Moreover, it's quite funny. The four characters depicted so far are all quirky and identifiable and I look forward to seeing where they go as the novel progresses.

My only quibble (but a big one) is with the punctuation in the dialogue. You need to put commas before the end quotes, not periods. With such an otherwise great piece of writing, I'd hate to see something like this turn off an editor.

As for me, I love it and look forward to reading more. Shelved, watchlisted, high stars.



Hi Daniel. Thanks for the shelving and great review. Your comments on punctuation noted. Should I get anywhere near real publication ( unlikely) I will get on to it.

I am a bit snowed under since becoming no5 on the spotters list. (God knows how I did that !) so can't promise an immediate shelving, but will comment and star appropriately on yours later today. Thanks again for your support. Cheers Eric

Daniel Rider wrote 405 days ago

The first chapter is brilliant. It grabbed me right away with the conversation between the narrator and Janice and kept be interested throughout. Moreover, it's quite funny. The four characters depicted so far are all quirky and identifiable and I look forward to seeing where they go as the novel progresses.

My only quibble (but a big one) is with the punctuation in the dialogue. You need to put commas before the end quotes, not periods. With such an otherwise great piece of writing, I'd hate to see something like this turn off an editor.

As for me, I love it and look forward to reading more. Shelved, watchlisted, high stars.

@cparkie wrote 406 days ago

A cleverly constructed first chapter. Your story will appeal to most of the people on Authonomy due to them being on a similar journey to Jack. As a fan of comedy your hook of "Just what was the funniest scene I could think of?" really got to me. I will read the rest of the book to see how this is resolved.

Perhaps your genre is "Mirth-er mystery." If it is set in Wales it would then be a Merthyr Mirth-er Mystery.

I'll read much more. It's started very well.

Artist, Twin, Ballerina wrote 406 days ago

Dear Eric,

I've thoroughly enjoyed "plunging" into the first three chapters. I once thought to myself that writers do best when writing about things they've experienced because then there are no loopholes; the perfect book would be a book about a writer writing, or even struggling to write. And if it were published, it could be a book about a writer discovering his brilliance at writing as her journeys to publication, because that is what the writer has experienced in real life; I believe this is a considerable possibility for you.

But how does one write a book about a writer in an entertaining, brilliant way? I couldn't describe how, not in few words, except to see it done and say, "Here, here's how," then let a reader read how it's done. And I could do that with this book. What a feat, and you did it! And what a comedy, fit for all ages. I'll rate and leave this on my shelf for a near-future backing.

-Cassandra Porter
(Love, Death, or the Gift of Happiness)

Amelia C wrote 406 days ago

I wanted to read Degree of Exposure after seeing your hook mentioning Tom Sharpe. He is one of my favourite authors.
I told myself, with so many books to read, I would only have time to read the first two chapters. I couldn’t stop reading though, and my list went out the window temporarily! I am now at chapter 12 and will be going back for more.
I love the concept of a story within a story, and tears were running down my face when I read about the Major and Eunice’s antics on the boat. In fact, I spent a great deal of time laughing at a lot of things here. It’s brilliantly funny and very hard to ‘put down’.
The Major, as the proprietor of Sea View, reminded so much of the eccentric and miserly Basil Fawlty, whilst there were certain similarities between Smoggin and Manuel, Fawlty’s hilarious waiter/dogsbody, as well.
Now that I see it is available on Amazon, I shall be off to buy a copy later.
I absolutely loved this book. Gave you 6 stars and put you on my WL. I will be backing you as soon as I am able.
Amelia
Mungai and the Goa Constrictor

rikasworld wrote 406 days ago

I thought from the pitch that this would be a fun read. Actually, I think it's hilarious. I giggled all through the first three chapters. There are too many lovely phrases to pick out, though 'What worked scenically did not work nautically' just about finished me off after that whole great scene on the boat. Yes, very Tom Sharpe!
Don't know if you want ed. comments, but anyway the only one that struck me was that I think there's a word missing in the depths of depravity sentence in ch. 2.
I think the two entwined stories is a very original and clever idea. Writing group instantly recognisable. Fill in your own subject degree cert. sadly probably does exist.
The same thing keeps striking me. Why are there so many good books on here when there's nothing in my local library I want to read at all? Will back this but it's going to be a few weeks, just because there are so many books I like here.

Oktober wrote 407 days ago

I've read three chapters and had to back - this is absolutely hilarious! The sex scene with the major and Eustice in the boat made me laugh out loud, one of the funniest things I've read in ages. Your writing is fantastic, with a wonderful tone, great pace and truly engaging characters. I love it and can't wait to read more, terrific stuff!

Oktober

sodyt wrote 408 days ago

Hi Eric,
Your book is hilarious, the kind of book to read on a plane or a long train journey to keep awake. I am looking forward to read more, soon. In the meantime, I rate you highly, put you on my bookshelf and the watchlist.
Back soon,
Brigitte
You will dance again!

Hi Brigitte. Many thanks. Will get back to you on yours soonest. Eric