Book Jacket

 

rank 889
word count 109027
date submitted 15.07.2009
date updated 20.07.2012
genres: Fiction, Popular Culture, Comedy, E...
classification: moderate
complete

Degree of Exposure

Eric Newman

Professionally reviewed as 'Witty novel ,superbly written, reminiscent of Tom Sharpe.'

Brings new hope for the dead. Even they could enjoy it.

Very sexy too.

 

On impulse Jack joins a creative writing class for something to do.

He is a bit flippant with the tutor, and is told to write 'something funny' for his first homework. The class like it, and as he adds other ideas during the course, he gradually finds it turning into a comic novel.

He fancies Janice, a beautiful classmate, and seeking to ingratiate himself with her he makes her the book's heroine.
Janice is the girl friend of the class tutor, so things get a touch tricky.

Jack's book becomes a savagely satirical and sexy piece of work, peopled with a host of comic characters behaving in an all too human way.....despicably.

It all builds up to a tremendous climax when the whole of Blackpool Illuminations (Northpool in the novel) is laid to waste by a series of clangers that drag the hero into deeper and deeper waters, from which there is seemingly no escape.

Then, with one mighty bound........ well, maybe......maybe not.

**********

.....



 
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tags

, diabolical, disturbing, earthy, explicit, laugh out loud funny, lewd, masochistic, poignant, rumbustious, sardonic, satirical saucy, sexy

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Chapters

19

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Thirteenth class

 

Attending this next class was very different to what had gone before. It was only a few days after my birthday celebration, and I hadn’t seen Janice since.  She breezed in shortly after me, giving a sly wink, before settling down into the next seat. ‘Hi,’ she said, with the warmest possible smile.

‘Hi,’ ’I said, returning smile for smile.

 

Frank then appeared looking very worried. ‘Could I have everyone’s attention please?’

He waited until we were all settled. ‘I have some very bad news I’m afraid. Damien’s just called me from a police station. He’s been arrested.

Everyone was stunned.

‘What on earth for?’ I said.

‘A virus has infected the national Social Security Department’s computer, and they’ve traced it back to him.

No more benefit cheques can be paid out for the foreseeable future apparently.’

‘Good God,’ said Janice. ‘That’s really serious.’

‘Seems Damien had been on the dole himself for years because he couldn’t get a job,  and he’s developed a thing about all these  foreigners and scroungers taking advantage of the system,’ said Frank.

‘That’s one way of getting all these immigrants to go back home’ said Brenda. ‘Good luck to him I say.’ 

‘They’ll throw the book at him for that’ I said.

‘Yes,’ said Frank. ‘He wants me down there right away. Doesn’t seem to have anyone else he can turn to

. Is it alright with everyone if we scrub tonight’s class and I go see what I can do for him?’

 

No one was going to argue with that, so when Frank disappeared we all went our separate ways.

Janice came back to my place, and we spent a pretty sombre evening talking about poor sad Damien. Then we got totally sloshed and made love again. Life has to go on.

 

 

 

 

Fourteenth class.

Another week didn’t give any of us time to recover from what had happened.

 

The papers were full of it by then. Banner headlines screamed variations on the theme:

             ‘MOSS SIDE MAN ARRESTED FOR WRECKING BENEFITS SYSTEM’

 

Frank told us he’d managed to get Damien released on bail, pending the legal processes grinding along its tortuous way. Apparently though, Damien wasn’t as simple as he looked.  He was negotiating a deal with the police to plead guilty and be given a suspended sentence in return for fixing the virus himself immediately, rather than having to wait maybe weeks before anyone else could do it. It was apparently of a complexity no one had come across before.

The official ‘get out’ would be that it had really happened by accident rather than being criminally intentional, and the suspended sentence would be meant as a warning to others not to meddle with viruses like this.

The even better news was that Damien was expecting to be given a government job afterwards on the ‘poacher turned gamekeeper’ principle, to help prevent any other attacks on their systems in the future.

 

‘That might even have been his intention right from the start,’ said Janice.

 

She had a point. I had noticed an unusual gleam in his eye from time to time that did seem to indicate there was more going on in his head than he might be given credit for. Damien’s main worry seemingly was the effect it was having on his mother. She was refusing to go outside their house in case she met one of her neighbours, and he was having a rough time with them whenever they caught sight of him, particularly those whose benefits had been delayed as a result of his actions. The police had finished up having to give him protection.

 

It was all very disturbing, so nothing much happened in class this time. Brenda and Amy produced some more bits and pieces they had come up with, the usual rubbish, so by common consent we finished early again.

 

Back at my place, Janice asked to see the last chapter I’d written. ‘Maybe if you’ve written something really funny it’ll cheer me up’. She was still bothered about Damien, who she seemed to have taken a liking to.

The stuff I gave her to read was the section featuring Luigi and his Ape. Janice found this hilarious, particularly where Charlie pees in Yarrow’s helmet. She laughed out loud at that, and even found herself feeling sorry for him when she read the bit about his stuffed mother being so close to him in that shop window.

She said it was the best bit in the book.

 

I was more concerned at her reaction to the way Janice behaved in the scene. ‘Would a classy woman like that join in fighting the Davis’s?’

She didn’t even have to think about it. ’Absolutely. She wouldn’t just stand by and risk Ken getting injured. Most women can get aggressive if they need to. Try watching ‘Coronation Street’ or  ‘The Eastenders’ if you don’t believe me.’

‘And what about his confession, would she just accept it?’

‘Of course. The way she comes across, there’s no chance of her preferring a life with someone like Hargraves to a life with Ken is there?’

 

That was a relief. I could press on, and did so, but not until we had made love again before she went home.

 

 

 

 

Back at Sea View the Professor had been in an affable mood as he despatched the various teams of researches on their way, with what he judged to be sufficient stationery and exhortations to see them through the day.

The hotel photocopier had been running all night to produce enough of his questionnaires for the purpose, and Mrs Thwaite had only just found out, so she came looking for him to see who was going to pay for the paper, ink, and wear and tear on the machine that was involved.

 

She was despondent, naturally, and the layman in such matters might think this is would be the least opportune time to make a pass at her.  But that’s why laymen don’t get laid as often as they might like to. It is at times of deepest emotion that women are at their most susceptible, which was why Zimmerman often went to church on Sundays,

any church.  In the graveyard outside after the service, recently bereaved widows are absolute sitting ducks for the supporting hand on the elbow from someone purporting to be a fellow griever. The offer of a shoulder to cry on, and the arm round the waist usually got him an invitation back for tea, followed by a fairly certain ‘leg- over’ if he played his cards with sufficient sympathy.

 

Zimmerman had several hours to kill, until it was time for him to appear at the Stanley Baldwin Tea Rooms to collect the results of everybody else’s efforts. Never fussy where sex was concerned, he was now aware of the cause of Letitia’s concerns and homed in on her in practised fashion. After an assurance that Ken would pay for all the photocopying costs, and true the saying that ‘disaster makes for strange bed fellows’, she soon found herself in Zimmerman’s room accepting his booze and commiserations in this her darkest hour, as unsuspecting of his ultimate intentions as those ladies who engaged in polite conversation with Jack the Ripper.

The end result, though not as fatal, proved equally certain. Under his guidance she gradually found herself stripped of both her inhibitions and clothes until finally left with none of either.

 

Like Ethel Ogle before her, Letitia was first stunned by Zimmerman’s advances but then found herself beginning to enjoy them. A reasonably good time then began to be had by all concerned with the event, which now included Smoggin and Cook, but their delight in watching the antics of their mistress was such as to make them careless.

 

The Professor, busily lashing Letitia to the bedposts with her own lisle stockings, caught a glimpse of movement in the Bayeux Tapestry hanging on one of his walls, when the eye King Harold was supposed to have lost at the battle of Hastings blinked at him. Deducing what was happening he decided that if room service was available he might as well make use of it. ‘Wine,’ he shouted, looking the missing eye straight in the eye. There was a short pause while Smoggin considered the request, then he rose magnificently to the occasion and shouted back.

‘White or Red Sir?’

Mrs Thwaite was a pretty cold fish, so the choice was obvious. ’White,’ said Zimmerman.

 

When it arrived Letitia asked if she could have some of it. ‘Of course my dear,’ said the Professor, emptying the whole bottle over her and proceeding to lick it off her panting form. Smoggin, now back on station behind the tapestry, gave an appreciative whistle which Zimmerman acknowledged with a twitch of his enormous buttocks before bringing his performance to a climax by having his, and giving Letitia the first one she had ever had in her entire life.

 

During and after all these shenanigans, no one spared a thought for Angela.

 

Not that she was worried about that. Very much intent on her own affairs, she had long since cast herself as the leading role in a re enactment of the Cinderella story and today, as far as she was concerned, was to be the day of the ball. There had to be some slight changes in the script to suit local circumstances of course, but basically the old plot still fitted. Her parents served well enough as replacements for the ugly sisters.

 

They, both bruised in their different ways, he by her and she by the professor, were now busily dressing themselves up in their Mayoral finery, in readiness for the ceremonial switching on of the lights by her Prince Charming, Wally Wittgenstein. 

 

The main alteration to the traditional pantomime scenario would be that, in keeping with the faster pace at which life is now lived, the twelve o’clock midnight bit was out. If all went as she planned, Prince Wittgenstein would be going over Cinderella with a velvet gloved hand long before then, and instead of wasting time playing ‘hunt the slipper’ they’d be busy tying old boots to the back of his brand new Lamborghini something or other, prior to roaring off for their permanent honeymoon in showbizland.

 

The deal she had done with Wally’s manager, unknown to her father, was that Wally had to take her out to dinner after the ceremony as her reward for getting them the booking. It was to be just for the two of them.

But Wally himself was kept in the dark about it too. He hated doing this kind of thing so would not be told about the arrangement until the appropriate time, probably ten seconds, before he was due to meet the lady lined up for him.

 

The effect of this commitment on Angela, who worshipped the ground Wally was usually too high to walk on, can only really be understood by girls of a similar age suffering the pains of unrequited love from rejection by some  stupid sixteen year old lout with drainpipe trousers and intense acne. This prospective tryst with the man of her dreams simply meant everything to Angela. Since the moment the deal was made she had clutched this enormous secret to her non- existent bosom and fervently wished these two facts could be reversed.  She wanted the world to know about it, and an enormous bosom never did any girl any harm. Angela felt her whole life experience up to then had been merely a preparation for this meeting as she gazed yet again at the giant poster of Wally posing naked astride a huge Harley Davison adorning her bedroom wall with the throttle of the machine obscuring but pointing directly at Wally’s crotch.

 

Total Phallicity.

 

Total Fallacy.

 

The impression it gave was wrong on two important counts. Firstly the retouching job had grossly exaggerated Wally’s now mostly public private parts, and secondly his own inclinations were not as his fans had been led to believe.

He was one of those who joined the Boys’ Brigade for entirely the wrong reasons.

 

As well as being unaware of this, and allowing for all her native cunning, Angela was still emotionally only a child.

Egged on by the stream of romanticised pap poured out by the teenyboppers’ magazines she read, she really believed that ‘Love Conquers All.’

Worshipping Wally as much as she did, she reasoned she only had to confront him with her passion, for him to respond to her in the same way. Her magazines said it happened all the time to ordinary fans, never mind someone who was President of one of his fan clubs. The clincher for her was she had sent a photo of herself to Wally when she made her request for a date with him, and the speed with which he returned one of his, anointed with his love and kisses, spoke volumes to her beating heart.

 

To help pass the time before she had to get ready to go to the Town Hall she flung herself down on her bed and read for the thousandth time the letters Wally had sent to her over the months since she became his principal local fan. They all began ‘Dear Angela,’ then continued briefly with either ‘Thanks for the letter, Love Wally’ or ‘Thank you for the letter, Love Wally’.

 

To the un-lovelorn there might not seem any real significance between the two types of communication. But to those reduced to tearing flowers to shreds to find out what their matrimonial prospects are, a world of meaning was there to be extracted from the slightest emanations from one’s loved one. So it hadn’t taken Angela long to decide that a ‘Thank you’ for the letter’ was a whole lot warmer than just a ‘Thanks for the letter’ was, and a series of five barred gates lipsticked  indelibly on Wally’s bare bottom above her head kept tally of how many of each type she had received. To date the score was seven ‘Thanks’ to five ‘Thank  you’s’, which might have been depressing, except that the significant thing to Angela was that the ratio of latters  to formers had risen recently, so it was obvious that in keeping on writing the word ‘you’ he might just possibly be beginning to get a bit obsessive about her.

She just hoped this wasn’t a sign he would be too possessive when they were married though, as once she was moving freely in pop music circles there was always the chance she might meet Cliff Richards, and who could say no to him.

 

The only problem with this analysis of Angela’s was that none of those letters, or the returned picture plastered with his love and kisses, came from Wally at all. They were sent out by his long suffering manager Duggie Aston, part of whose duties were to attend to this kind of tedious chore on the star’s behalf. He had also made sure Wally didn’t clap eyes on Angela’s photo, which would really have put the mockers on things, so had shredded that at the first opportunity.

 

When the time came for her put on her finery she faced the usual problems of a girl her size and shape. For a start her shoulders blades stuck out more than her boobs, and it would have made more sense for her to put her bra on them. Foam rubber had been her favoured solution in the past but that did produce the risk of a deflationary feeling when one’s partner hurls this intimate garment aside and finds it still bouncing around the floor minutes later.

This time she decided to go for cotton wool, and lots of it.

 

 

 

Truth being stranger than fiction, at that same moment Wally was also having his own sexual display problems as he too began dressing for the evening’s performance.

 

The gimmick he used in his act to distinguish himself from his competitors was Torquemada tight black rubber trousers designed to emphasise the child producing properties of their inhabitant.  Wearing them on their own would have been bad enough in all conscience from Wally’s point of view, but the nationwide sale of that poster on Angela’s bedroom wall, meant he now had to live up to that image of himself by stuffing a specially made cod piece down the front of them too.

It was of a size to raise eyebrows even in sex shops. Places where, like Harrods, eyebrows should not be raised, even at their prices.

‘Stop messing about,’ said Duggie, tired of watching Wally standing naked on one leg. ’Get on with it.’

‘It’s alright for you,’ said Wally. ‘You haven’t got to get into this bloody thing.’

‘Anticipation can be worse than the event,’ said Duggie, philosophically.

‘Shit,’ said Wally.

‘It’s got to be done man,’ said Duggie, as indifferent to the pain of the managed as managers traditionally are.

’ For 80% of the take like you get, I’d wear it myself, and I’m two stone thicker than you.’

 

Like all managers he was quite jealous of his Star, not only because of the extra money he made, but for all the talent and fame he enjoyed as well. This made Duggie do what whatever he could to even the score between them at every opportunity. Hence the speed he accepted Angela’s request for a date. With a face like she’d got there was no way Wally would be enjoying the rest of this evening.

 

‘You haven’t been making these sodding trousers tighter again have you?’ said Wally, struggling to wedge the cod piece where it was anatomically supposed to go.

‘No,’ lied  Duggie.

The more constricting they were the better for Wally’s image, and it helped keep his stage expression suitably soulful.

‘Jesus,’ said Wally, his face contorted as he eased the seam in the trousers to coincide with the human crease in his own backside.

‘You should stop eating non-fattening foods in fattening quantities,’ said his manager.

‘And you should have had more sense in getting that poster touched up as much as you did,’ said Wally, as soulful now as his manager could possibly hope for, as the codpiece worked its way to its final resting place.

‘Balls,’ said Duggie, appropriately. ‘It’s taken ideas of mine like that to get you where you are today.’

‘Allright, allright,’ said Wally. ‘Don’t start on that recital again.’

 

But Duggie had already started and had no intention of stopping until he’d finished.

‘Remember when you complained about the way I got your first record to No 1?’

‘Could I ever bloody forget it?’ shouted Wally. ‘We’ll stick one of your pubic hairs in with every copy you said, and I was daft enough to try to do it.’

‘How was I to know it would sell millions?’ said Duggie.

‘Had to go to China for horsehair then didn’t you?’

‘Yes, but the publicity we got when the Trades description people got on to us was well worth it’.

‘Sometimes I wish I’d never started out on this caper,’ said Wally.

‘Nonsense,’ said Duggie, taking a playful lunge at his Star’s now enhanced genitalia.

 

 

The evening’s rival attraction to Wally Wittgenstein, Major Thwaite, was also in reflective mood that afternoon. Whoever said ‘All publicity is good publicity’ must already have started turning in his grave after Chappaquiddick, and with the addition of the Major’s example should by now be rotating rapidly enough to be able to bore his way back to the surface to start apologising in person.

 

What the Major would have liked to have done at that moment was simply to have turned his face to the wall and kept it there until the Co-Operative Wholesale Society’s Funeral staff came to carry him out feet first, though still dressed in his mayoral robes as he now was. A man has to die with some dignity after all.

But he knew full well Letitia would not let that happen. As far as she was concerned his appearance at the Lights ceremony was just part of his punishment, and a very small part at that.

 

Not for the first time in his life the Major wished her elsewhere, the hotter the better, but as if in defiance of this unspoken thought the door of his room unlocked and she stood before him. ‘Better put an extra vest on. It’s cold out there, and we don’t want your teeth chattering in front of all the people coming to see you.’

It was good advice. King Charles did the same thing on the way to his execution.

 

 

Chapters

19

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Cly wrote 1019 days ago

Hi Eric,
As I've stated in previous comments, I think you're an absolutely brilliant writer! This book is hilarious, when I wasn't laughing out loud, I was at least smirking to myself. I was drawn into your story, both of them, not only by the vivid descriptions, but by the ease with which you tell the story, not to mention the surprise developments, one after another, each more bizarre than the last. I have not been this excited about a book in very long time. As far as comedy, it may very well be the best I ever read. Thank you for a most enjoyable read!
Kind Regards
Cly

Jared wrote 1262 days ago

Eric, this is a wonderful premise and how well you carry it off. I knew from reading your bio page, which is simply brilliant, that I'd love this book. You have an instinct for comedy, whether it be broad or subtle, and the skill to express yourself to maximum effect. I've read all you've posted, enjoyed it all hugely, and placed an order with Amazon for the completed book. You'll have probably guessed by now that I've loved your book.
I found nothing that warranted bringing to your attention; this is writing of professional quality, honed to perfection and an object lesson to many of the members of this site, myself most definitely included, in how to present a piece of work that requires no further editorial attention. I was also pleased to see you had included "rumbustious" as one of your tags. A splendid description of many aspects of your work. As a counterpoint, I'd also add "sensitivity."
Backed with enthusiasm.
Jared.

sodyt wrote 1271 days ago

I'm up to chapter 9 and I can barely wait to continue. This is a masterful story-within-a-story. And did I say my face hurts? From laughing? I'm driving my family nuts -- "Come here, you've gotta read this" or "Listen to this paragraph or this line."
And it's not that you've created outlandish characters or situations (not much anyway) - it's grounded and real and that makes it even funnier.

Backed with wild enthusiasm - checkbook in hand waiting for the first copy to hit Borders.

Diane
The Guardian Chronicles: Seduction


Hi Diane.
Thanks for backing D of E.. and for the heartwarming, rib tickling, ego massaging comments. You have made an old man quite pleased !!!
Assuming you are not pulling my leg, Degree of Exposure is available on Amazon Books. (Borders is apparently now going bust) Actually several kind Authonomists have already bought copies for Xmas for family and friends.
Have WLd your opus and will be back to you witjh comments shortly. Eric

Maria Luisa Lang wrote 1360 days ago

Dear Eric, I’m having a wonderful time with this highly entertaining book: I enjoy how you interweave Jack’s novel into yours, using the evolution of the latter as a parallel to Jack’s involvement with Janice and Frank. Indeed, along with two stories containing hilarious characters and their antics, you also manage to include a very accurate demonstration of how fiction is written.

Your own writing would impress even Frank: the narrative is vivid, quick, and filled with telling images and phrases; the dialogue is replete with realistically superficial exchanges that pass for communication, but become painfully funny when caught in print.

Characters that look and sound as funny as yours are truly rare: it can’t simply be that you meet particularly peculiar people, so I must attribute to you a knack for identifying human peculiarities generally. I also see a fertile, deviously comic imagination at work here: you brilliantly select and exaggerate to achieve the fullest effect, and, as with all masters of comedy, your timing is perfect.

An extremely high degree of pleasure. On my shelf. Maria, The Pharaoh’s Cat

LondonFog wrote 7 days ago

Hi Eric,

Only had chance to read the first chapter but i was impressed with your skills. The way you introduce the characters and the playful way you expose soft stereotypes , the tightness of the story is also something to be admired. From what i've read so far i am confident in saying i will be back for more. Definatley on my watch list!

Tom
Paradise, Volume I

Tornbridge wrote 24 days ago

Degree of Exposure
By Eric Newman

This is a funny opening (ooh err missus) and effortless prose. I like the line about not fancying the women on the antiques road show who know all about the toys. I liked the later comparison between life’s problems now in the 70’s with Al Queda vs the TUC.

The comic style to this is obvious and it felt like putting on a pair of lovely comedy slippers. Like Tom Sharpe and even maybe the old TV series’ ever decreasing circles’, there is much wit to be tapped in the everyday life of middle England.

Having read a few chapters, I then read the bio and a couple of things fell into place. Firstly, the depth of experience you bring to the page - let’s face it you’re no spring chicken and likely remember running home up that cobbled hill from the mine with a white loaf under your arm. Secondly, you’re no stranger to writing.

Best of luck with this, Eric. I’ll give you 5 stars just for fighting in the war.

Tornbridge
The Washington Adventure

Iva P. wrote 150 days ago

Dear Eric,

After reading the catchy long pitch, I had a quick look at the first chapter. I found good stuff there and I expect to return after Christmas to read more, but for the moment I have the following suggestion:

“I certainly hadn’t expected meeting up with anyone like her in a place like this.”

The question - what kind of a place is it? - is not answered for the next five or six paragraphs. Don’t assume that the chapter title explains everything. I suggest that instead of hanging the reader in a vacuum, you should replace “place like this” with “creative writing class”. Now you have the reader instantly grounded with three simple words.

Hope this helps,

Iva

Brian G Chambers wrote 152 days ago

Oh Eric what a howler. The second chapter with them in the boat had me in stiches. I have a very visual imagination and could see exactly what you were writing. The line where she loosened her hair and let it flow, to mid ear lenghth was really funny. Then she kicked their clothes overboard. Great great stuff. You'll do well with this. Six stars from me and going on my WL.
Brian.

Janet/Helen wrote 160 days ago

Degree of Exposure. chapters 1/3 inc.
Has this book been away for its holidays? What are you Authonomy readers doing for goodness sake? Why is this not on 300 bookshelves? It is superb writing, hilarious, and just makes you laugh from one line to the next. Is it only me who likes to have a really good laugh?
6 stars, on watchlist for a shelfspace at the end of this month. Janet

Janet/Helen
The Stranger In My Life

Kit Fox wrote 162 days ago

Hi Eric,

You have had heaps of great comments on this so hardly need mine. Oh if you insist then. I love your style of writing, it is both witty and sharp. Love the characters and the idea of telling the story within the story, great idea. If I'm being critical, I would like to see more description of place and people to compliment the voices and situations. This should really have hit the Editors desk so I will hold a book shelf eviction ceremony and give you my backing.

I was a soldier once too. Excused boots rather than rifle - probably to stop me running away ;-)

All the best

Kit Fox

Software wrote 167 days ago

Oh, I like this. Its irreverent, pithy and precise with its deconstruction of myths and holy cows. It makes the funny bone ache from the off with a lively creation of instantly recognizable characters and the unforeseen affairs that overtake them. Lot of careful craft has gone into making this contemporary comedy both engaging and a page turner. Recommended and highly starred.

Clive Radford
Doghouse Blues

GOTHIC-PAGE-TURNER wrote 293 days ago

Eric,
The opening had me laughing immediately - own Teeth, haha! The initial dialogue between Janice and Jack is natural/believable.
Love it when the techy says 'My mother says I should get out more.'
I've only read first chapter but will definitely read more. Why? Because this is comical, fresh, witty.
Eric - you're a great writer - I didnt even pick up on any typo's or grammar/pov problems. Fabulous. AJB

sodyt wrote 294 days ago

Your writing is witty, fluid and all around well put together. I appreciate your sense of humor. You've clearly made good use of your decades of practice, and the fact that you've maintained your sharpness is reassuring for those of us trailing behind you. I couldn't find anything to nitpick at all, darn it! Best of luck with this.
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/



Hi Tod. Many thanks for your kind comments on Degree of Exposure. Much appreciated.
I have WLd your book and will get back to you on it soonest. Loved the title which
promises much inventiveness within.. Cheers Eric

Tod Schneider wrote 294 days ago

Your writing is witty, fluid and all around well put together. I appreciate your sense of humor. You've clearly made good use of your decades of practice, and the fact that you've maintained your sharpness is reassuring for those of us trailing behind you. I couldn't find anything to nitpick at all, darn it! Best of luck with this.
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Odette67 wrote 296 days ago

HI Eric,

i wondered if you fancied swapping books, comments etc. its taken me a while, i think imight nearly have the hang of it now?
I have put your book on my watchlist and have a read in a little while

many thanks

kate

off the rails

back to you

Colin Neville wrote 323 days ago

I like the way that this is a story within a story. The creative writing class gives Jack an opportunity to blend real life with fiction, as fiction and his present life combine in his story.

The novel starts in a subtle way and it soon became clear that the witty personal ads were part of a creative writing class. I enjoyed the writing class scenes very much indeed: inhabited by recognisable students, and certainly a recognisable tutor - both in his personality and the lazy way he ran the class.

I liked the emerging background storylines of Jack and Janice, who felt very real characters to me. The dialogue in both the evening class, and within the inner story work well too, and there were some very funny and recognisable sections - particularly in the Jobcentre and at the university (chapter 6 has been loaded twice).

The writing is assured and confident, although felt that too many exclamation marks was reducing the desired effect.

Books including scenes in creative writing classes are often of interest to readers interested in the creative writing process, so I felt, therefore, that the author could break up the inner stories a little more by describing or reflecting on the process, e.g. telling us how he is going about writing the scene; his feelings at the time etc., then returning to the inner story. I felt this would add a multi-dimensional structure to these sections and would also add additional interest to those readers interested in writing. It could also show us how Jack is relating/linking his current emotions to the inner story.

Engaging work; I particularly liked the two-tier level of writing here - a good idea.

Colin Neville

sandy-1 wrote 367 days ago

DEGREE OF EXPOSURE

I love the sense of humour!
I loved the beginning, it created a great picture in my mind, and I couldn't wait to find out what was going to happen next in the second chapter, it was so funny.
This is a great page-turner, its well written and extremely funny.
Highly starred!
Ruby Middleton
'Will Ryan'

JamesRevoir wrote 372 days ago

Hello Eric:

Although Degree of Exposure is not my normal genre, I have to say that you have been uniquely gifted with a tremendous sense of humor. It is very rare that I encounter a book in which every character is actually likeable, but you have achieved this distinction in this book.

Best of luck and success.

James

Tod Schneider wrote 382 days ago

A well written tale, with snappy dialog and good pacing. The interwoven stories work well.
Best of luck with this!
--Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

patio wrote 386 days ago

this is a excellent piece of narrative. i'm hooked

sodyt wrote 389 days ago

{Degree of Exposure} – Eric Newman
Chapter 1:

I like the idea and the way you open this book, with snappy dialogue that makes the reader jump into the scene. The first person works well, and I like the approach you take. Cleverly done!

Here are just some detailed notes I made, that I hope you will find useful! All humble suggestions, feel free to take or leave anything :)

Para ‘I certainly hadn’t expected meeting up…’ → the second sentence has two ‘was’ in it, and I feel it could be smoother. Perhaps reword these sentences to something like: ‘She was a lot younger than me, probably mid-twenties, looking stunning in her stylish clothes. Out of my league to be honest. Not that I’m getting past it, you understand.’ → Because of the perspective, ‘probably’ implies this is his best guess. Furthermore, I cut off the sentence at ‘out of my league’ because I thought a short phrase mimics thought process more. Put a comma in as well in sentence ‘not that I’m getting past it, you understand’ also to create some more variation in tone and rhythm.

Para ‘So what we were both looking for…’ → sentence feels a little wordy and I don’t feel that ‘along presumably’ works well in that order. How about: ‘So what we were both looking for, presumably along with everyone else in the room, was expert guidance from a published author willing to share his skills.’ → ‘with us’ is implicit, because they are the subject. I also changed around ‘along presumably’ to ‘presumably aong.’

How about just simply; ‘And we got Frank O’Malley.’ → shorter and more impact. Removed ‘was’ as well, which feels passive. I also don’t think that ‘what we got’ makes too much sense, because Frank is a person, so it should be ‘who’, then again that doesn’t fit the sentence…

Maybe some more dialogue modifiers in the section of dialogue beginning ‘No. This is a first for me.’ → Then again your writing is quite clear, and I understand wanting to just have short dialogue statements to keep the pace moving! :) Either way it works

How about; ‘Middle-aged women made up the rest of the class’ → eliminates passive voice ‘was made up’ and makes the women the subject of the sentence. Just a thought

But overall, a balanced beginning that engages the reader. Very well written too, I’m just an extremely fussy person :P so the above suggestions are all incredibly nit-picky! I look forward to reading more of this when I get the chance :)

Cara
The Awakening: Dawn of Destruction



Hi Cara .
Thanks for taking the trouble to give me your detailed comments on Chapter One of my book.

The problem is that I write with a certain style and flow. What you say is perfectly valid, but I run the risk of overwriting if I start to polish it to the extent you suggest.

As you will see from many of the other comments, it is not a problem for most people.

I have Wld your book, and will get back to you on it shortly, tho as you have spotted. fantasy is really not my thing. Regards Eric

Cara Gold wrote 389 days ago

{Degree of Exposure} – Eric Newman
Chapter 1:

I like the idea and the way you open this book, with snappy dialogue that makes the reader jump into the scene. The first person works well, and I like the approach you take. Cleverly done!

Here are just some detailed notes I made, that I hope you will find useful! All humble suggestions, feel free to take or leave anything :)

Para ‘I certainly hadn’t expected meeting up…’ → the second sentence has two ‘was’ in it, and I feel it could be smoother. Perhaps reword these sentences to something like: ‘She was a lot younger than me, probably mid-twenties, looking stunning in her stylish clothes. Out of my league to be honest. Not that I’m getting past it, you understand.’ → Because of the perspective, ‘probably’ implies this is his best guess. Furthermore, I cut off the sentence at ‘out of my league’ because I thought a short phrase mimics thought process more. Put a comma in as well in sentence ‘not that I’m getting past it, you understand’ also to create some more variation in tone and rhythm.

Para ‘So what we were both looking for…’ → sentence feels a little wordy and I don’t feel that ‘along presumably’ works well in that order. How about: ‘So what we were both looking for, presumably along with everyone else in the room, was expert guidance from a published author willing to share his skills.’ → ‘with us’ is implicit, because they are the subject. I also changed around ‘along presumably’ to ‘presumably aong.’

How about just simply; ‘And we got Frank O’Malley.’ → shorter and more impact. Removed ‘was’ as well, which feels passive. I also don’t think that ‘what we got’ makes too much sense, because Frank is a person, so it should be ‘who’, then again that doesn’t fit the sentence…

Maybe some more dialogue modifiers in the section of dialogue beginning ‘No. This is a first for me.’ → Then again your writing is quite clear, and I understand wanting to just have short dialogue statements to keep the pace moving! :) Either way it works

How about; ‘Middle-aged women made up the rest of the class’ → eliminates passive voice ‘was made up’ and makes the women the subject of the sentence. Just a thought

But overall, a balanced beginning that engages the reader. Very well written too, I’m just an extremely fussy person :P so the above suggestions are all incredibly nit-picky! I look forward to reading more of this when I get the chance :)

Cara
The Awakening: Dawn of Destruction

Brigitte_2 wrote 392 days ago

Hi Eric, great idea for an introduction to your story. You nearly lost me with the introduction, which was too much home turf until the story took off and I want to read more.
deserves a good star rating and the rest.
Brigitte
You will dance again!

fictionguy wrote 392 days ago

This is very good and a sense of humor at last on thism site. I took to it more because I taught creative writing in college for a few years and after I retired did some teaching like that person, but I was never a hippie, though I like some of the music. Not all. You're right about couples. If you ever feel down, go toi the local marriage license office and watch the couples coming out. You'll have no idea who these people ever met or got together,
after while, you will be rolling on the floor laughing.
I like the writing style, the insights and of course, the humor. I give it four stars and will probably come back to read the rest when things calm down here.. Let me know when it is published. I will spread the word.

Tom Bye wrote 394 days ago

Hello Eric-
book Degree of Exposure-

~~read the first five chapters and then some more at random-
the cover alone is a pull in- that hat on the top of Blackpool tower - like it-

it's a very good book laced as it is with humour- of more interest to those of us, who at any stage
attended a creative writing class-

Liked this one with Frank at the helm as he thinks of the class as two divisions- the writers and the non writers-
It's written in an updated style that moves along at a fast pace-

Really enjoyed what i have read and it did have me smiling to myself-

good luck with this most enjoyable read-

Tom Bye
book- from hugs to kisses-
have a feeling that your might enjoy chapters 36-38-41- please read if you can- thanks

benedict wrote 395 days ago

Hi Eric,

this is for the read swap we agreed to.

This is great fun. I'm really enjoying it. A brilliant, witty opening that made me laugh out loud sets up an extremely funny story.

Having taught and participated in them, I can very much recognise the creative writing class atmosphere and the teacher is quite an intriguing character from the outset. I hope you continue to develop typical Cre Writ class scenarios as the book continues - over precious/sensitive writers, pretentiousness, endless emotional poetry, making people cry (something I've achieved more than once). It is a situation ripe for comedy and I will have to read on to find out.

Here are my close comments on the first two chapters
Fantastic opening
What about - Aspiring Actress seeks Youthful, Passionate, Handsome, Multi- Millionaire OCTOGENERIAN. Recent photo and Certified Accounts required.’

I certainly hadn’t expected TO MEET up
- infinitive after expect

two ladies on the ‘Antiques Road Show’
– second quotation mark

The ice breaking exercise he’d set us to start off with was quite a neat idea THOUGH. IT did serve to get us all chatting – Was a very long sentence – better divided up like this into two?

some of them can be attracted to A ‘bit of rough’ like him.
-also, maybe ‘lecturer’s perks’ doesn’t need the punctuation, it automatically makes people stop and read it ‘ironically’ and you already have another 'one in the same sentence.’ - see what I mean?

‘So what had you got in mind?’ = ‘So what sort of thing did you have in mind?’
- perhaps sounds more natural?

In this chapter I found Frank quite likeable, is that what you intended?

Ch2
,all manner of persons DESIRE all other manner of persons
-you’re not talking about love, your talking about attraction and sex.

continue to happen, ad hoc, ad infinitum, ad NAUSEAM.
-typo? (I think, I don't speak Latin, is this a special conjugation?) but I also moved the ad nauseam to the end as I feel it’s the real cynical punch line
-very funny!

was just such an archetypal case of empathy at first sight. They shared just about a
-two justs

Popeye and Olive Oyl. Suddenly there was no tomorrow, only now.
-full stop in middle

satisfy their passions. WITHIN moments they had arranged a tryst for that very afternoon, which was the earliest time the Major could get AWAY.
-full stop and deleted words at end for punchiness

swainette nevertheless
all-seeing
local rate
-unnecessary spaces in each phrase

Thornton would still be incapable in some pub
– incapacitated maybe? Incapable’s not clear

What are the ping pong balls for? Am I being naive?

Sea Goddess – no capitals also maybe sea nymph would be more fitting –she seems to be submissive in her fantasies

too much for any woman to bear. – to bear would be negative, to resist/handle would work better

All this experience he now intended TO BRING
-infinitive after intend

anything she had ever EXPERIENCED before, and in so doing his own

feelings would be transported to the very highest level the depths his depravities were capable of descending into.
-mixed metaphor intentional? Descending to the highest level...?

Too gay an abandonment IT turned out, as in her ecstasy she kicked the bag (comma) containing all their clothes (comma) clean over the side.
– jarring as you have to read it a couple of times to realise you’re not talking about clean clothes. Maybe add the two commas to slow the sentence down or delete the words between commas.

Really looking forward to reading more, let me know if my comments are helpful - though of course they are just suggestions.

highly starred!

Benedict

EllieMcG wrote 395 days ago

I won't lie. I started reading because I thought you had the funniest profile on authonomy. "Double Incontinence," indeed. With high expectations, I began Degree of Exposure. You didn't disappoint.
Your story-within-a-story in chapter 2 is perfectly ridiculous. "affection for the very young and the very dead." I've never laughed at a joke about paedophilia before, so I'm not sure if I should congratulate you, or despise you for making me feel terrible about myself for laughing aloud. The descriptions are suitably ludicrous, often hilariously revolting.
I'm up to chapter 4. I occasionally have difficulty following the second-story. Though I get the feeling this is purposeful.
Overall, great stuff. Six stars from me.
Elspeth

Margaret0307 wrote 396 days ago

A brilliant idea to weave one story into another and this has been done very skilfully. This book is well-written and very entertaining. It is also clear the author understands human nature! The various characters Frank, Janice, the Major, Ken, Mavis etc are very ‘real’ in many ways. The Major’s sexual fantasies; the rivalry between Frank and Jack regarding Janice – and having to wait several chapters before Jack finally asks Janice out; the perceptive comment about ‘how quickly people can adapt to sudden changes in their circumstances’ with the example of the lottery and Ken’s behaviour and much more besides.

It is also a great idea to then bring Janice into the book thus bringing the two stories together.

Whilst this is not usually the sort of book I would choose to read I can nevertheless still be impressed by the talent of the writer. I have rated it highly and would summarise it as witty, perceptive, entertaining and very well written.

Margaret
How do I know I know God?

scoz512 wrote 396 days ago

Eric, thanks for takig me up on the offer. I gobbled up the first two chapters and then there was an error when I got to chapter 3. I skipped to chapter 4 (stupid-I know) and got a bit lost...duh! so I will have to come back and check in on chapter 3 again some time.

But so far let me just say that your book is very light-hearted and fun. I enjoyed it from the get-go and I'm certain the rest will continue to deliver. Jack's voice is easy and honest, but not overdone in the first person like some new writing tends to be. I like his point of view, the "middle-aged women" in the class described as "groupies" had be cracking up. In short-he's believable and likable which is certainly important in an MC. I also love the writing within a writing. Not that this idea has never been done, but you don't see it very often and you do a fantastic job. I like the way Jack writes as well as thinks.
I would only say that there are a few moments where a comma could come in use (e.g.) very beginning "out of my league, to be honest" and "Not that I'm getting past it, you understand"

Also, I want to know a little more about Jack right off the bat that doesn't have to deal with the class. I'm only saying this after reading a few chapaters and I am most certain that you do more of this later on, I just wanted to point out that I'm alreadt itching for more details. Otherwise, I might get the feeling I'm back in college taking a creative writing class myself. Not so bad-but I want more of Jack's life.

That's all for now. Sorry I didnt 'get further yet, I just got distracted with that error on chapter 3

Sara

sodyt wrote 396 days ago

It was your bio that attracted me to your book. I think mine may need a bit of work. You are a very clever writer with too much wit for one man. This is a keeper, which means it must be bought in hard back and kept on your book shelf to be revisited time and time again. While I wait for it to be published I will give it space on my virtual shelf and continue to read and laugh.
My very best wishes,
Olive.

Hi Olive. Your wait is ov er!!! My book is available at a modest price, second hand, on Amazon books uk, alsoon Kindle. Thanks for the kind review. I have Wld Your book and will be back to you on it shortly. Cheers Eric

sodyt wrote 396 days ago

The structure of this story around the writer attending a writing class really works for me. I'm interesting in the class - having been to a few! - and enjoying the comedy there. It's great then, to see how the story within a story develops in response to his attending the class. Very clever!
I've read to the end of chapter 4 so far and I have lots of favorite bits but the sexual energy created by the Major's mustache will stay with me for some time!
One of the great fun reads on Authonomy, I think.
Best,
Kate
The Licenser

Hi Kate . Thanks for the splendid review. I have a bit of a moustache myself, tho its withering a bit now.... much like the rest of me !!! I have WLd your book and will get back to you on it soon. Cheers Eric

sodyt wrote 396 days ago

I found it hard to read it online - I wanted to read it in paperback - on the beach to get the full impact of the humour, the interwoven story. I hope you do well.
All teh best
Bridget
The Road from Makhonwja



Hi Spice. Assuming you are not pulling my leg, my book is available, at a modest price second hand, on amazon books uk also on Kindle. Have wld your book and will read it soon. Cheers eric

sodyt wrote 396 days ago

Dear Eric,
It is quite obvious from perusing a few of the comments below that you have won over some very fervent fans and there is no wondering why when one reads your book. It is surely one of the cleverest stories I have ever read. To say I am in love with it is an understatement. Awe and adoration get a bit closer.
With that said, I intend to prove my devotion to your work by pointing out a few mistakes that others have probably skipped over in their enthusiasm to read more of your fantastic story. I only point these out as I am sure that you will want to correct them once they come to your attention. They are minor typing errors so fixing them will only add a bit of extra shine to what is already a brilliant work of art. Here goes!
Chapter #3
1.After all her mam kept going on about her eating peanut butter...
I think a comma following ALL will make this sentence easier to read.
1a. After all, her mam kept going on about her eating peanut butter...
2.but all set to fire the first shot in her mother's campaign get Ken firmly...
There obviously needs to be the word TO inserted after CAMPAIGN.
2a. but all set to fire the first shot in her mother's campaign to get Ken firmly...
3.Catching him in still bed for warmth and comfort..
You want to rearrange IN and STILL.
3a. Catching him still in bed for warmth and comfort...
4. ...to surround him with sufficient of her cleavage to make any escape...
You want to insert a word after SUFFICIENT. I'm guessing you wanted to write AMOUNT here.
4a. ...to surround him with sufficient amount of her cleavage to make any escape...

Okay, that's enough for now. I haven't read beyond chapter three but I certainly intend to do that in the near future. Eric, I would be deeply honored if you would perchance take a look at my humble offering, What We Live For. It is my first attempt at writing anything akin to a book so don't expect too much. Still, your feedback would be very much appreciated.
Bye for now!
Anthony



Hi Anthony. thanks for your generous comments. Much appreciated. I have Wld your book and will be back to you on it shortly.

I have taken on board that my reviews are a bit ancient and will put up some more recent ones. Happily I have plenty to choose from. Regards Eric

Antonius Metalogos wrote 397 days ago

Dear Eric,
It is quite obvious from perusing a few of the comments below that you have won over some very fervent fans and there is no wondering why when one reads your book. It is surely one of the cleverest stories I have ever read. To say I am in love with it is an understatement. Awe and adoration get a bit closer.
With that said, I intend to prove my devotion to your work by pointing out a few mistakes that others have probably skipped over in their enthusiasm to read more of your fantastic story. I only point these out as I am sure that you will want to correct them once they come to your attention. They are minor typing errors so fixing them will only add a bit of extra shine to what is already a brilliant work of art. Here goes!
Chapter #3
1.After all her mam kept going on about her eating peanut butter...
I think a comma following ALL will make this sentence easier to read.
1a. After all, her mam kept going on about her eating peanut butter...
2.but all set to fire the first shot in her mother's campaign get Ken firmly...
There obviously needs to be the word TO inserted after CAMPAIGN.
2a. but all set to fire the first shot in her mother's campaign to get Ken firmly...
3.Catching him in still bed for warmth and comfort..
You want to rearrange IN and STILL.
3a. Catching him still in bed for warmth and comfort...
4. ...to surround him with sufficient of her cleavage to make any escape...
You want to insert a word after SUFFICIENT. I'm guessing you wanted to write AMOUNT here.
4a. ...to surround him with sufficient amount of her cleavage to make any escape...

Okay, that's enough for now. I haven't read beyond chapter three but I certainly intend to do that in the near future. Eric, I would be deeply honored if you would perchance take a look at my humble offering, What We Live For. It is my first attempt at writing anything akin to a book so don't expect too much. Still, your feedback would be very much appreciated.
Bye for now!
Anthony

SpicePepe wrote 397 days ago

I found it hard to read it online - I wanted to read it in paperback - on the beach to get the full impact of the humour, the interwoven story. I hope you do well.
All teh best
Bridget
The Road from Makhonwja

katemb wrote 397 days ago

The structure of this story around the writer attending a writing class really works for me. I'm interesting in the class - having been to a few! - and enjoying the comedy there. It's great then, to see how the story within a story develops in response to his attending the class. Very clever!
I've read to the end of chapter 4 so far and I have lots of favorite bits but the sexual energy created by the Major's mustache will stay with me for some time!
One of the great fun reads on Authonomy, I think.
Best,
Kate
The Licenser

Olive Field wrote 398 days ago

It was your bio that attracted me to your book. I think mine may need a bit of work. You are a very clever writer with too much wit for one man. This is a keeper, which means it must be bought in hard back and kept on your book shelf to be revisited time and time again. While I wait for it to be published I will give it space on my virtual shelf and continue to read and laugh.
My very best wishes,
Olive.

jlbwye wrote 398 days ago

Degree of Exposure. Love the humour of your pitch, promising a lively and entangled plot.

Ch.1. Oh dear, I've never discovered what GSOH stands for - perhaps you can enlighten an ignorant old lady?
You're a professional. It stands out a mile. And I know I wont find any (unintentional) nits. (parenthesis added with hindsight).
That first scene is spot on.

Ch.2. You've got me giggling like a schoolgirl already, with that 'first attempt' at a story. '... in his wettest dreams...' And the literary inuendos, many of which I'm sure are right over my head. But I, too, was tickled by the Michael Angelo reference.
And I just love Eunice when she says 'You dont even know which direction we should be going in.' And kicking the engine - What fun.

Ch.3. This part is a bit boring, after the excitement of Chapetr 2. There's too much preamble.

Ch.4. Now you're getting down to brass tacks. This story has many levels. Clever. You're getting further and further away from the beginning ... where's the plot? Lost it?
And there's an awful lot of culling which'll need to be done to that story.
Ah - we're at last coming round to the point - but I prefer the 'real' bits in the classroom...

A masterful parody indeed, from which much to learn if one is so inclined.

Thankyou for the entertainment.
It's an honour being on your shelf. Here's a sprinkling of stars as a thankyou for being such a loyal supporter. I'm so grateful, and hope you'll continue to the end, which is now actually in my sights!
Jane.

tojo wrote 399 days ago

I have stopped at chapter 6 just to add my comment, then go back to reading it. If your feeling down and need cheering up, you could drink a bottle of whiskey or read this book. The whiskey will leave you a thumping head ache and empty pocket, this book will only leave you with a delightful ache in your thighs through laughing so much. Crits, sorry too busy laughing to notice any, there probably is, I just don-t give a damn. 6 ******

Portraits Of A Small Peasant.

Wanttobeawriter wrote 401 days ago

DEGREE OF EXPOSURE
I was a creative writing major in college so have set through classes like this where the teacher gave us a writing assignment, then read the morning paper. So identified with Jack from the start. He’s a sympathetic character because he’s trying something new. His first short story is good. I’m wondering, tho, if you want to include the whole story at this point (it really breaks up the flow of the story). Maybe have him struggle to write it and break it into small bits so his relationship with Janice can flourish? Either way, this is a good read. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

LizX wrote 401 days ago

The first paragraph with the abbreviated descriptions of each character made made me wonder if they were in a writing class or a dating agency. “Hello, I'm Jack Baxter.” would have been a more realistic introduction. Unless it was something Frank had them write down and hand around, it didn't come over as natural speech. Not many people describe themselves in initial abbreviations – it didn't help because I haven't got a clue what G.S.O.H was.

The rest of the chapter was good. Frank looks as though he could well take over prime position. His character and dialogue were excellent.

For some reason, I got the impression Janice was new to the class as well, but as she was familiar with Frank then she obviously wasn't. Wondered why Jack didn't have some internal thought on that.

There was a tiny slip out of pov in the sentence which started “Right,” said Frank. Jack wouldn't have known whether or not Frank thinking his leg had been pulled. As the rest of the chapter was from Jack's pov it jarred.

The comic scene which comprises most of chapter two was well executed. It's sheer graphicness in the description department made sure my feet got wet when they fell off the lilo. Ver funny and with no edit nits to distract from the action.

I was a bit disappointed in chapter three when Jack disappeared to be replaced again by the major and his wife. I wanted more Jack, more Janice and alright, I'll admit it.... much more of Frank.

The start of four re-captivated me once more with the interaction in the writing class...but I wanted more. I wanted to know what went on between Frank and Janice when he was getting a ride home. What she got up to when she wasn't in class and Frank too. They are three really strong characters which seem to have been relegated to back stage when they should be in the limelight.

Am still reading, but work calls... even on a Sunday. So will catch up with you again during the week.

Adeel wrote 401 days ago

An amusing, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Eddie Santos wrote 401 days ago

I've read only two chapters from 'Degree of Exposure', as this is all the time I had left for reading today, but I wished I had more hours in my day to read all the chapters of this book in one go.
It is funny, entertaining, well written. A wonderfull piece of work. It may need a bit of editing, but I can not actually judge editing or punctuation, as English is not my first language. I can only say that this is a great book and I look forward reading some more tomorrow evening, when I may have some more time. I am rating it with 6 stars and adding to my watching list. As soon as it is possible it should be on my shelf for a few days for support, as it deserves, but I am happy to back it at any time when it get closer to the editor's desk.
Eddie

Estelene wrote 401 days ago

I laughed when I read the comment about sexual attraction keeping poets in poverty. I enjoyed reading a few chapters and will read more when I have a chance. Chapter 3 made me laugh, since I recently went to a writing workshop myself.

I will comment that I’m having an easier time hearing these characters than seeing them. Your dialogue sounds natural to my ear as I read, but I think I would enjoy reading you more if you balanced that good dialogue out with some equally good images and description.

Mindy Haig wrote 402 days ago

Hi Eric!
I just dropped in to check out your book! I really like the layout of writing a story within the story. It is very funny, well written, I did not notice any gramatical errors or typos, the only thing I did want to mention is that you have Ken in 1971 and a reference to Bill Clinton that is maybe outside his timeline.
High stars! i look forward to reading more!
Mindy
The Wishing Place

Greenleaf wrote 402 days ago

Interesting premise--a book about a writer and his book within your book. This is hilarious and well-written. I was immediately drawn in. Great job!

Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

sodyt wrote 402 days ago

The first chapter is brilliant. It grabbed me right away with the conversation between the narrator and Janice and kept be interested throughout. Moreover, it's quite funny. The four characters depicted so far are all quirky and identifiable and I look forward to seeing where they go as the novel progresses.

My only quibble (but a big one) is with the punctuation in the dialogue. You need to put commas before the end quotes, not periods. With such an otherwise great piece of writing, I'd hate to see something like this turn off an editor.

As for me, I love it and look forward to reading more. Shelved, watchlisted, high stars.



Hi Daniel. Thanks for the shelving and great review. Your comments on punctuation noted. Should I get anywhere near real publication ( unlikely) I will get on to it.

I am a bit snowed under since becoming no5 on the spotters list. (God knows how I did that !) so can't promise an immediate shelving, but will comment and star appropriately on yours later today. Thanks again for your support. Cheers Eric

Daniel Rider wrote 402 days ago

The first chapter is brilliant. It grabbed me right away with the conversation between the narrator and Janice and kept be interested throughout. Moreover, it's quite funny. The four characters depicted so far are all quirky and identifiable and I look forward to seeing where they go as the novel progresses.

My only quibble (but a big one) is with the punctuation in the dialogue. You need to put commas before the end quotes, not periods. With such an otherwise great piece of writing, I'd hate to see something like this turn off an editor.

As for me, I love it and look forward to reading more. Shelved, watchlisted, high stars.

@cparkie wrote 403 days ago

A cleverly constructed first chapter. Your story will appeal to most of the people on Authonomy due to them being on a similar journey to Jack. As a fan of comedy your hook of "Just what was the funniest scene I could think of?" really got to me. I will read the rest of the book to see how this is resolved.

Perhaps your genre is "Mirth-er mystery." If it is set in Wales it would then be a Merthyr Mirth-er Mystery.

I'll read much more. It's started very well.

Artist, Twin, Ballerina wrote 403 days ago

Dear Eric,

I've thoroughly enjoyed "plunging" into the first three chapters. I once thought to myself that writers do best when writing about things they've experienced because then there are no loopholes; the perfect book would be a book about a writer writing, or even struggling to write. And if it were published, it could be a book about a writer discovering his brilliance at writing as her journeys to publication, because that is what the writer has experienced in real life; I believe this is a considerable possibility for you.

But how does one write a book about a writer in an entertaining, brilliant way? I couldn't describe how, not in few words, except to see it done and say, "Here, here's how," then let a reader read how it's done. And I could do that with this book. What a feat, and you did it! And what a comedy, fit for all ages. I'll rate and leave this on my shelf for a near-future backing.

-Cassandra Porter
(Love, Death, or the Gift of Happiness)

Amelia C wrote 403 days ago

I wanted to read Degree of Exposure after seeing your hook mentioning Tom Sharpe. He is one of my favourite authors.
I told myself, with so many books to read, I would only have time to read the first two chapters. I couldn’t stop reading though, and my list went out the window temporarily! I am now at chapter 12 and will be going back for more.
I love the concept of a story within a story, and tears were running down my face when I read about the Major and Eunice’s antics on the boat. In fact, I spent a great deal of time laughing at a lot of things here. It’s brilliantly funny and very hard to ‘put down’.
The Major, as the proprietor of Sea View, reminded so much of the eccentric and miserly Basil Fawlty, whilst there were certain similarities between Smoggin and Manuel, Fawlty’s hilarious waiter/dogsbody, as well.
Now that I see it is available on Amazon, I shall be off to buy a copy later.
I absolutely loved this book. Gave you 6 stars and put you on my WL. I will be backing you as soon as I am able.
Amelia
Mungai and the Goa Constrictor

rikasworld wrote 404 days ago

I thought from the pitch that this would be a fun read. Actually, I think it's hilarious. I giggled all through the first three chapters. There are too many lovely phrases to pick out, though 'What worked scenically did not work nautically' just about finished me off after that whole great scene on the boat. Yes, very Tom Sharpe!
Don't know if you want ed. comments, but anyway the only one that struck me was that I think there's a word missing in the depths of depravity sentence in ch. 2.
I think the two entwined stories is a very original and clever idea. Writing group instantly recognisable. Fill in your own subject degree cert. sadly probably does exist.
The same thing keeps striking me. Why are there so many good books on here when there's nothing in my local library I want to read at all? Will back this but it's going to be a few weeks, just because there are so many books I like here.

Oktober wrote 405 days ago

I've read three chapters and had to back - this is absolutely hilarious! The sex scene with the major and Eustice in the boat made me laugh out loud, one of the funniest things I've read in ages. Your writing is fantastic, with a wonderful tone, great pace and truly engaging characters. I love it and can't wait to read more, terrific stuff!

Oktober

sodyt wrote 405 days ago

Hi Eric,
Your book is hilarious, the kind of book to read on a plane or a long train journey to keep awake. I am looking forward to read more, soon. In the meantime, I rate you highly, put you on my bookshelf and the watchlist.
Back soon,
Brigitte
You will dance again!

Hi Brigitte. Many thanks. Will get back to you on yours soonest. Eric