A View From the Edge of the World

I love your cover art it is a brilliant choice
I enjoyed your interesting writing stlyle
You have a very strong opening; your descriptive writing is exciting
It was very easy to be caught up and drawn into the story
Your MC is well-developed, displaying insecurity, hopes, and dreams
Great storytelling
Best
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

This is a really enjoyable book. Rose is a great heroine, feisty and adventurous. We are completely on her side over the horrible Roderick and his proposal. First, he refuses to listen to Rose's warning to him not to go ahead, then he actually hits her. He clearly deserved everything he got and more, and it's hard to forgive Rose's family for not praising her and being angry with Roderick. You have brought all your characters beautifully to life, and your plot is moving quickly. The scene where Rose cuts her hair is very realistic. You write well, in a clean, easy to read style, with a mixture of humour and sadness. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Greetings from the quiet banks of Musquodoboit Harbour, NS!
You captured the people, the attitudes, the land, the needs - and the gaelic. Beautifully written.
backed
Genevieve
Under the Same Sky

S.B - View from the Edge of the World is superbly sculpted by a more than proficient word mason. There are no hard edges, sharp angles or superfluous frills. Strong, descriptive prose adeptly chiselled into a work that demands to be viewed. A novel that is thoroughly engaging and an engrossing read.. Thanks.
Bocri

I've just read three chapters, and I don't often get hooked on a book but this immediately drew me in. I love getting Rose's view as a new arrival in the States. Fascinating. Loved the many authentic details, like the people speaking Gaelic. This feels very real. Look forward to reading more, and will comment after that, but just wanted to say I'd buy this, three chapters in, and I just shelved it.

Hi, so far this is an intriguing story about a eastern Canadian getting her first taste of the States. Towards the end of your second chapter there are two grammatical errors. Should read "turn the TV off" and "she brushed it gently" (in regard to Rose's hair).

Other than that, this has the makings for a dramatic story and perhaps with some cultural differences tossed in. I spent 6 months in Canada when I was 22 years old, a long time ago, and I was shocked by all the differences between our two countries.

Patricia
Super-Nature Heroes

I have no idea why this book currently has a red arrow. Backed for support of your wonderful writing voice and storyline.

Brittany
My Last Notes

This is so good. The first 2/3 chapters get your appetite up for WHY Rose left, and the description of the fight when it comes is brilliant. I can picture it so clearly, and I particularly like the way you describe Alasdair: "his dark blue eyes wide under pale puzzled brows" - this fits in perfectly with the innocent part he plays in the fight (sorry, I know it's not a fight but it involves hitting!)

Really well-written, intriguing, intelligent book. Going on my shelf. Oh yes, and I love the title!
Kittykat ~ My House Eats People

A good strong narrative voice here. I like the heroine, she's got real character and I could feel her need to escape that little world she had grown up in. Although I have to say, I was drawn to that world with its traditions and the gaelic and all the ways of the old country.
Perhaps that is the point here, for all that is gained, something must be lost.
The whole is very readable.
Backed

I really liked Rosie. Your dialogues are rather over-stuffed with words in my opinion, but I enjoyed the story and so have backed it. Kind regards, Mokha Moli

Wow! I thoroughly identified with this book. Thing is, many readeres will to. Simply love it!

Line where she speaks to boy. I would omit the: though. Some scenes of Nova Scotia afer all it is scenic i'm told.

"I have to, though"
"I have to."
Backed,

This is so interesting - your pitch pulled me right in and the prose and dialogue in the proper book are superb! I must come back to read more later - so glad it's all here! BACKED


Liz
The Cheech Room

Your first chapter held all the attitudes that my daughter had to her parents and family on leaving home, except that in her case it was the 7000 miles away from us and to Durban in South Africa, so I recognised Rose immediately as will many whose sons or daughters leave home for another continent early on.
Of course what arouses special sympathy for Rose in her desire to leave is the pressure by her parents to give her what almost amounts to an arranged marriage.
Sympathy ebbs for the family when they fail to castigate the comtemptuous Roderick for his mistreatment of Rose and I wanted to read on to see how and when she might find fulfilment, bearing in mind that she is going to cut of contact with her family completely. Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

I read chapters 32 & 33.

I like to start in the middle. Well because there simply isn’t enough time to consider the logic or the process of the plot so, if the plot seems believable - I just accept it. But the middle of the novel demonstrates an author’s consistent and mastery.

Your strengths - you’ve created good characters, great descriptions, good atmosphere. I’m impressed.
Your weakness - you’re characters talk too much. Now, I don’t mean you have too much dialogue. I love dialogue. Contrary to all the unpublished authors in the world - the market is dialogue driven. Well unless it’s adapted into a film. Films no longer talk - now they move. You have too many words in your dialogue. Hell, I’m verbose. I love verbose. But two people aren’t verbose in a relationship. (Well outside of a Woody Allen film.) One person usually bleeds and the other resents. That’s a real relationship. So, here’s what you need to do. Have a colleague read your dialogue to you. Sit back and don’t speak. Don’t take notes. Just listen. You’ll hear every word that doesn’t fit in a human mouth. See kid - you want to flesh fiction and make these characters human. Right?

Mark R. Trost
“Post Marked.”

A VIEW FROM THE EDGE OF THE WORLD:

SB,

Your pitch is laden with drama and conflict, promising an irresistible read. Opening the novel with the character embarking on a new life, a new venture, is an excellent way to pave the way for changes to unfold.

You have a very pleasing writing style. Beautiful syntax and a smooth rhythm make the prose a joy to read. Lively, taut, realistic dialogue bring the story to life.

I wasn't sure from the pitch who the main protagonist was. It seemed in chapter one that it was going to be Rose's story, but from the pitch it would appear that Alisdair is the main character. I wish I had time to read it all, so that I could find out.

Backed, with my very best wishes for its success.
Sheila (Pinpoint)

Rose is a determined, brave main character and we wonder what drove her to leaving and what sort of future she has. It's not going to be an easy one judging from the pitch. But in chapter one you successfully raise the question of why and what really happened which is good. I am happy to back this.
All the best
Christina
From Under the Bed

I read the first four chapters and then dipped. A really good solid read - what I call value for money. Good luck. Backed.

I love your cover art it is a brilliant choice
I enjoyed your interesting writing stlyle
You have a very strong opening; your descriptive writing is exciting
It was very easy to be caught up and drawn into the story
Your MC is well-developed, displaying insecurity, hopes, and dreams
Great storytelling
Best
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Rose's Mom reminds me of my own, eager to save her daughter from the 'horrors' of spinsterhood. Don't ask the question if you don't want the answer! Rodrick more than deserved that bloody nose. Can't wait to read more about Rose's adventures in America and the goings on back in Miller's Bay.

Sessha

They say never run from your past, face it... I think you bring this perfectly into view with your writing! Well done!

This is a really enjoyable book. Rose is a great heroine, feisty and adventurous. We are completely on her side over the horrible Roderick and his proposal. First, he refuses to listen to Rose's warning to him not to go ahead, then he actually hits her. He clearly deserved everything he got and more, and it's hard to forgive Rose's family for not praising her and being angry with Roderick. You have brought all your characters beautifully to life, and your plot is moving quickly. The scene where Rose cuts her hair is very realistic. You write well, in a clean, easy to read style, with a mixture of humour and sadness. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

I like the voice of this; there's a calm confidence about your writing which makes the narrative one of superior quality. There are a few glitches here and there (like a comma missing), but this feels like the work of an established writer. It has weight to it. A little time on my rotating shelf. R

SB
Like this Rose character. I could see her sweeping down the highway with window wide open, music blaring, and smoking a cigarette and singing and cussing at the same time. See? Now I'm superimposing my thoughts onto your character, but it is because you have portrayed her so well. She is so impulsive at present, but that is before discovering how her personalty may change later. Immaculate writing. Wish you well with it. Backed. Rosali
Fieldtrip to Mars

Greetings from the quiet banks of Musquodoboit Harbour, NS!
You captured the people, the attitudes, the land, the needs - and the gaelic. Beautifully written.
backed
Genevieve
Under the Same Sky

What an opening, talk about misty. Poor Alisdair, the poor wee bairn.
You know how to write, there's no denying that, I don't think we have time to read all of your book on a flat screen, we do know we will see this on a bookshop shelf in the not too distant future.

Backing it.

Eleanor and Sharkey.

Great opening chapter. Did I read that you started this when you were sixteen? Astonishing! This is very well crafted and tugs right at the heart of youthful hopes, ventures and risks.
Pleasure to back.
Tracy
The Guardians

This is a nice story. I have cruised through 11 chapters to date and I'm really enjoying it.

I also like the short chapters that you have used. They certainly work well on a computer screen.

George Fripley
Wurzel ofm Clutton.

S.B - View from the Edge of the World is superbly sculpted by a more than proficient word mason. There are no hard edges, sharp angles or superfluous frills. Strong, descriptive prose adeptly chiselled into a work that demands to be viewed. A novel that is thoroughly engaging and an engrossing read.. Thanks.
Bocri

I thought I had read this but apparently not. Now I can't help wondering why this isn't higher up the charts.

A great story that is very well told. You have crafted a terrific MC in Rose too.

Good luck with it, hope this helps to boost it up.

Melxx
UNICORN

Hello! I absolutely LOVE your book! Any book that is set in Nova Scotia (my home province in Canada) and has the gumption to try to get a mainstream publishing deal with HarperCollins (as opposed to a local interest book deal with a small town publisher) is already worthy of my backing. But aside from the location of your story, your write very well, and your characters are wonderful. I love the premise and dialogue in your story too very much.

I have suggestions to make your book even better. First, in the pitch, place a comma after Nova Scotia, and then delete the comma in between Rose and MacRae. Also, add a single space in the short pitch after the word "finished" and before "Now the past is back..."

Second, for your book's title, I believe shortening it will make it easier for a book publisher to sell to people. Would the title "The World's Edge" be possible (or something to that effect)?

Overall, you've done a wonderful job. I am proud to back your book! :-)

Your fellow Nova Scotian,

Kevin Wong
Author of Heroes of Destiny

Chapter 7. You capture the nuances and mannerisms of fishing folk very well, as well as the vagaries of the sea and sky. I live near a fishing town and can envisage your characters from the people around me. Reminds me a bit of the 'Shipping Forecast' but that's no bad thing. Good luck with this, Jim D Serpent's Blood

I like the fact that in the first chapter, as Rose is getting ready to leave, an old babysitting charge comes and slams into the back of her legs, not wanting her to go. I feel this gives the reader an early hint that Rose is going to be a likeable character. This is very well written and enjoyable. Backed.

Ok, i might say that this kind of book doesn't appeal, but the way you have written this it really did pique my interest.
Good description, solid dialogue and tasty characterisation makes your book a winner.

BACKED

Hi
I read the first three chapters.

The writing is pretty fluent and vivid and the prose flows well.

The characterisation, I wondered about a bit. I was'nt sure at first what the time period was until you mentioned the Vietnam war. Maybe a fer temporal anchors early on with descriptions of clothing or vehicles to set the scene timing.

The dialogue itself is good but I wonder why you've broken it up so much in chapter 3. Each time you interupt the speech with an action you take the reader out of the character interaction. You might wish to experiment with taking everything out except the dialogue between the speechmarks and see what it does to the communication between the MC and Roderick. Just a thought.

This is an enjoyable read and well crafted by and large.

I'm sure it will do well,
best,
Fred

SB,
You're on to a good start with the disgruntled young Rose leaving everything thing she's ever known for America. A classic beginning with a lovely twist in the unusual setting of Nova Scotia. I love stories that take me to places I've never been, and I can see from the stellar pitch that you'll be taking the reader back there later on. I sense that Rose is holding a great many secrets in her heart, and that all will eventually be revealed.

SHELVED.
~Cheri
Artemis Rising

I was immediately drawn in. I think it was the gaelic writing and exceptional dialogue mixed with anticipation to pastures new that did it. Shelved. Best, Sana

Not quite sure what century this is taking place in, so it might be an idea to give a date marker or some indication of the time period to help the reader fix himself. It would also indicate the degree of independence being shown by Rose. The writing is neat, tidy, effective, lyrical. Well done.
Frank

Ok, I've read the first four chapter, whizzed through them because I couldn't stop! I am filled with righteous anger on behalf of Rose, disdain for Rodrick and an overwhelming desire to go straight round and give her mum and sister a jolly good talking to for being so pharisitical!

Mmm... I think I could be hooked! I would definitely buy this, or borrow it, if I found it in a book shop or library. It's interesting, I was pulled in straight away, it's well written, the characters are lively and the descriptions vivid.

Fine stuff. Shelved without demur.

Cheers

Mary Mc
Few are Chosen - comic fantasy

Hello SB, Sorry about the break - my grand-daughter came into my study and pressed a button, whoops. You now have two comments. I hope you get the first as well. My story A Passing Storm, although quite different from yours, follows the MC's need to run away to Scotland from an unhappy marriage. I hope that you will have a look at it. I am SHELVING your story, because it shows tremendous potential. Well done.

Phyllis Burton
A Passing Storm

Hello SB, This is a delightful story, well written and described. Rose's desire to leave her home and family for the US is quite understandable as is her worry about what the future held for her. The story about the reasons for her departure, are quite horific. Who hasn't heard of parents who want to decide who their child eventually marries and how unfair it is? Even her twin gets into the act. No wonder she wants to leave.Your writing is sympathetic and easy to read. Well done.
I have read up to ch.10. One thing and one thing only, is that your chapters tend to be too short. If you could combine some of them - those that relate to the same subject - it will make the story flow better and make it a more cohesive whole.

Hello SB, This is a delightful story, well written and described. Rose's desire to leave her home and family for the US is quite understandable as is her worry about what the future held for her. The story about the reasons for her departure, are quite horific. Who hasn't heard of parents who want to decide who their child eventually marries and how unfair it is? Even her twin gets into the act. No wonder she wants to leave.Your writing is sympathetic and easy to read. Well done.
I have read up to ch.10. One thing and one thing only, is that your chapters tend to be too short. If you could combine some of them - those that relate to the same subject - it will make the story flow better and make it a more cohesive whole.

I read the first six chapters, and this is definitely a complex story, spanning such time and weaving in so many different characters. A lot of names to keep straight, I almost felt the need to take notes, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I enjoyed the atmosphere you created in Miller's Bay, giving a real feel for the town and the old-fashioned mentality dominating its citizens. It may be a little TOO homogeneous - is Rose really the only one there who thinks for herself? But since I haven't read the rest, I don't know how that fact plays into the later plot.

R.C.

Hi SB this is a really interesting story, I love the way you mix Gaelic (is it scotch gaelic it looks very similar to irish?) it really adds a sense of the real to the story. The opening chapter is really well written and set the scene well while not over narrating the story to us, then you move on to her entry into America and the flashback of her sisters wedding, you are building the layers nicely. I think if my sister meddled that much with me I would run away to america myself! If I had time I would like to read this further as I am enjoying it but its 12.45 and I think its time I went to bed. Its on the shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

A View From the Edge of the World
“working on a thesis about hummingbird behavior and flower speciation” – excuse me but that is my cup of tea! Fabulous! And in youthfulness, you are already leading an interesting and intuitive life.

SB, I would like to see bolder typeface on the cover.

Pitch: I have developed a habit of examining pitches as it helps me focus on the book. Sometimes I have a go at writing the first line. Sometimes it even gets used.

"Scant opportunity in Miller's Bay, Nova Scotia Rose, leads MacRae to cut all ties and head for the USA. "

Chapter 1: the dialogue is immediately engaging and refreshing. I always enjoy other languages and cultures seeping through.

Nice touch closing the car trunk and hoisting the boy onto it. I identified with Rose's resolve to brace herself for departure.

Overall I felt a few tweaks might help add to the effectiveness of this touching, opening scene. For example, the para that starts "She had run" - most of know that this tense should be removed whenever possible and I am still battling to do so. I wondered what would happen if you took it out of the passive and started the chapter with action immediately, i.e. from her walking down the stairs and bumping into her parents. I wondered if this would add more tension?

I was wondering what the parents looked like. Maybe their faces showed anxiety?

Ch2: Again I might try to avoid starting passively, and immediately engage with the driving into the states. I liked her impatience and "the border would not snap shut behind her." When the car cuts in, the passivity is removed.

I liked her disappointment that the landscape looked the same.

Please forgive, but not sure you want 'squish' twice - it is a strong word. Do you really want to say 'squish'?

Finally I am intrigued that she wants to scrub herself raw. Twin sister? Nice twist and page turner. Glad to have backed you. Keep up the good work. Thanks for your incisive comment. Best wishes, Yolanda

S.B.

I have just read the first three excellent chapters from 'A View from the Edge of the World.' You have a highly readable, flowing writing style. Someone packing up to leave always makes for an interesting opening. Your short, snappy sentences drawing the reader into the story. I like the way you drop the little hook about the meddling sister at the end of chapter two - sure to get the reader turning the page. I'm sure this will do well and well place it on my shelve.

NA (A Red Sky in Morning)

Sort of reminds me of Jacob Have I Loved on an East of Eden kind of scale.
Definitely has a lot of promise.
Backed.
Neliza Drew
(Burning for Burning)

Fluid writing, a good read -- hard to believe you wrote the first draft when you were only 16. On my shelf.

You have a nice narrative. I like that you take your time to get things set up. I imagine in the coming chapters we will get hit with a nice "aha!" moment when her past comes back, but after two chapters it could go anywhere.

Your prose is good and you seem to have a good command of what you are doing. Very nice!

Backed.

I read the first four chapters and found Rose to be a well drawn, strong character. I immediately liked her and hated her family. Your writting style smoothly advances the plot. It's a very enjoyable read. On my shelf for more reading later.

All the best,

VJ Davis - Where Evil Resides

This is a great view into another culture. I like the Gaelic prose but wish you'd have translated it. You manipulate a reader's emotions very well, felt sorry for her parents in chap 1 but totally understood it after chap 4. You're going to do very well with this and I'll be back for more. Graciously backed...JD

Very nice. Strong voice! I will admit that the gaelic in the beginning threw me for a loop. I repeatedly went over each line as I read them, and even said them aloud as I tried to hear what my mouth might be saying. I was concerned over how much and how important the gaelic content was going to be, but my concerns were dropped within a few paragraphs.

I don't think I can add anything to what has already been said by so many. The only things I noticed here and there were tiny little technical details, which you may have chose to use on purpose. Things like: "She felt it a letdown," instead of "She felt let down." Just those places here and there where extra words are involved, but the sentence stands on its own without them.

I'm no editor, so take my crit with the grain of salt. What I offer I always do out of genuinely hoping it will help you.

Putting this on my shelf. I think it deserves a mass audience!

David :)

Great setting with a lovely feel to it. I read up to chapter three. I wasn't looking for problems, and none jumped out at me.

couple of squished bits in the pitch where you've missed a space out, but other than that, tight writing with a great, fluffy-autumn feeling locale.

Backed,

Craig

A View From the Edge of the World
S.B. Stewart-Laing

SB,
Your have written on some highly significant themes here. As I read the first four chapters, I thought the substantive content was so relevant – in any time or place. You’ve put on the table so many issues in just these four chapters, showing how expectations of family and society can alienate those who have a right to choose their own path and pursue their own dreams. Among other things, I see this as a story about family, independence and identity issues, the breakdown of human expectations and how these are to be resolved, how the things which mean the most to people can be destroyed because many are prepared to accept illusion for reality – an introspective kind of read really.
In chapter one you paint a sad and dramatic scene - Rose MacRae fleeing her hometown. Poor little Alasdair, her baby sitting charge protesting and shedding tears over it. Her intention is to leave the scant opportunities and restrictive expectations of Miller's Bay, Nova Scotia and try her luck in the United States to start over and put her old life behind her.
In chapter two she has crossed the border and we see her at the motel, in her room, watching television. We do not know why she has left her family, including her twin sister behind, but there is a hint of anger in her, resentment, and one gets the feeling that she had good reason.
Chapter three flashes back to three days before and several scenes at her twin sister’s wedding are painted. It is discovered that Jeannie and her parents have tried to set her up romantically with Rodrick and she is taken aback when Jeannie discloses this. Rodrick is the type of man who seems to think that women should stay at home raising lots of children and she is not impressed by him. She dances with him somewhat against her will and then as chapter 4 opens, she leaves the party for shade under the trees where little Alasdair appears with his toy boat – he adores her, and happens to disclose that someone named Rodrick will present her with a ring and ask her to marry him. When she rejoins the party, this is exactly what happens. Rodrick drops to his knees and proposes! She is stunned, saying, “I’m flattered, but no.” He is even more stunned. No one moves. Rodrick kneels there with his mouth open and after a momentary lapse, he slaps her! She then lunges at him and people are now screaming. There is blood in this scene – all taking place on the day of her sister’s wedding….
The brideJeannie soon says to her, “How are we supposed to show our faces in public again?” And, Rose replies, “That’s your problem.” Three days later, she leaves her family and Miller’s Bay and starts a new life for herself in the US where she is cushioned by distance and pride, deliberately cutting all ties to her former home, and her family.
At this point SB you have already managed to get me much involved in your storyline and In wanting to know how things turn out twenty-five years later after Rose’s arrival in the US, where her son Nick Jones, a promising musician, has to deal with the suicide of a childhood friend. I look forward to reading about his return to Miller’s Bay, which promises high drama and intrigue, stemming mainly from Rose’s departure from her hometown twenty five years ago.
SB I will return to read more as soon as I can. I think your writing is sophisticated – in a simple and honest kind of way, with real characters, and without pretentious camouflage – an engaging, bracing portrait of real people with real issues within the familial and societal contexts which are universally relevant. There should be a huge audience for your work. Crits? I saw nothing to complain about! Thank you for this.
Here's wishing you every success SB,
Zan

I've just read three chapters, and I don't often get hooked on a book but this immediately drew me in. I love getting Rose's view as a new arrival in the States. Fascinating. Loved the many authentic details, like the people speaking Gaelic. This feels very real. Look forward to reading more, and will comment after that, but just wanted to say I'd buy this, three chapters in, and I just shelved it.

Quite a wonderful read. I felt myself transported into Rose's life. It's too bad that wedding went so awry!
Your writing is fabulous.

Thank you, Patricia