Book Jacket

 

rank 5918
word count 21167
date submitted 24.07.2009
date updated 31.01.2010
genres: Chick Lit, Romance, Young Adult
classification: moderate
incomplete

Life as I Knew It

Jasmin

He should have came with a warning;Warning:May, get you pregnant, play with your emotions, tell you I love you, and then disappoint you.

 

Kelly Meena Britten is a 15 year old girl with very thick skin. Ever since she was about 5 she's felt unwanted and learned to live with the fact that the only people that will love her is her brother and her father. It's one of the reasons she never dates, and never even thought of dating. This would have lasted longer if not for her brothers party.

Mark Quicy Britten is a 18 year old boy, whom all the girls love. He's a romantic at heart but can never seem to get it right. Girls love him and boys envy him. His little sister hates his taste in women. Well he doesn't like her choices in men either.

Ashton Brian Tyler is a the new "hot" senior. With all the attention he's geting from all the girls in school, people are starting to wonder why he spends most of his time with Kelly Britten, the friendless 10th grader.

Ashton Brian Tyler, ladies man, Mark's bestfriend, Brittney's boyfriend, and the cause of all this mess.

 
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tags

, alcohol, pregnant, teenagers

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4 comments

 

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Burgio wrote 1383 days ago

LIFE AS I KNEW IT
This is a good story. Your logline is engaging altho I think better grammar would be: “he should have come . . .” You have three good characters: Kelly is likable and sympathetic because she’s such a contrast to her more popular brother; Ashton is a bit of a puzzle but that’s good because that’s what makes him attractive to Kelly as well as your reader. All together, makes this a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

RichardBard wrote 1476 days ago

Jasmine, You've got a great writing career ahead of you. One thing's for sure, you've got the voice down pat and your dialogue is terrific. And I love the story. Well done! Stick with it. Backed.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Quarter-Finalist)

Bob Steele wrote 1516 days ago

Life as I Knew It fits the chick lit/YA/ romance genre like a glove - Kelly's chatty and fluent style sweeps the reader along in an idiom that will click with the audience and make an easy read. Backed.

KJKron wrote 1710 days ago

Yours has the feel of high school. Let me point out some typos to make this piece even better. First run-ons. Fix by changing the comma to a period or adding a conjunction:

...new senior he´s hot...(period after senior)
...briefly, she knew...
...to Spanish she´s actually (period after Spanish)
...at Spanish I´m actually (period after Spanish)
...I sighed, she should...

Also, you have periods inside the quotes and lower case outside the quotes in a number of places. Either switch the period to a comma or capitalize the first word outside the quote:
...there." she said...
...difference." she said...
...teacher." she explained...
Haha." though...
Kelly." she said...
Sharon." she said...

Spell out numbers one through ten (you have a 2, 3, and a 4) and spell out numbers that start a sentence.
30 minutes later...

There is some great stuff here. Like the conversation between the girls trying to get invited to the party and with her brother. This has some potential. Best of luck, KJ

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