Book Jacket

 

rank 5919
word count 11728
date submitted 28.07.2009
date updated 09.06.2010
genres: Children's, Young Adult, Comedy
classification: universal
complete

NORBY NOFUSS

SAM HACKETT

NORBY NOFUSS – TWO SHORT STORIES CHILDREN WILL LOVE AND THAT WILL BRING A SMILE TO ADULTS…

 

NORBY NOFUSS – TWO SHORT STORIES CHILDREN WILL LOVE AND THAT WILL BRING A SMILE TO ADULTS…

** Please note, the first two chapters are two children's short stories featuring Norby Nofuss the wise old horse. The third chapter is the opening chapters of a supernatural thriller of mine called BloodMeal, not suitable for children. But I hope some of you grown-up people will enjoy it – I think especially those who are readers of Darren Shan, James Herbert, Stephen King and Dean Koontz will get into this story. I'll put all of it up when I can. Many thanks.

 
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children's, fable, funny, horse, humour, young adult

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Norby Nofuss — the wise old horse as big as a bus

 

 

Welcome to The Stables,

A place for fun and fables*.

 

 

Come in and meet,

Betty the beaut — she’s scruffy but cute,

Tomboy the toughie — he’s cute but scruffy,

 

 

There’s Tickly Tig — she’s ticklish, round and big,

And Maurice McMorse — the wee Scottish donkey as strong as a horse,

 

 

Nextdoor live Johnny and Joanie Fame — the ginger twins both the same (and each as red as a flame),

 

 

Their neigh-bour is Knobbly O’Knee — the Irish racehorse as tall as a tree,

And Pauly Pee — he’s as small as you and me,

 

 

And watching from the end,

Is everyone’s wise old friend,

Norby Nofuss — he’s clearly as big as a bus!

 

 

They all live here in Bill and Ed’s yard,

It’s close to you, to find it’s not hard.

 

 

From October to May the horses and donkey have a life of ease,

Snoring, munching grass and trotting in the breeze,

 

 

And for the rest of the year they take turns from May,

Pulling tourists in carriages around a palace gardens to earn their way.

 

 

(* Note to adults: a fable is a short story with a moral, especially one in which the characters are animals, like horses and donkeys.)

 

It’s great fun and the tourists so friendly it’s never a bore,

But then this May Johnny and Joanie Fame decided they wanted more,

 

 

So one sunny day they nagged to the rest,

“Supposing the life we have is not the best,

Supposing out there is a life of greener grass and hay!

Supposing we escape, bet there’s much more than what we do every May!

Supposing we found a place where there was fun, fun, fun each day!

Supposing this evening we escape — what do you say?”

 

 

So to Johnny and Joanie Fame — the ginger twins both the same (and each as red as a flame),

All the horses (but one who is the most wise) replied they were game.

 

 

Betty the beaut, scruffy but cute, whinnied “Hooray!”

Tomboy the toughie, cute but scruffy, cried “Yeah, okay.”

 

 

Tickly Tig, ticklish, round and big, chortled “Hey, hey, HAY!”

Maurice McMorse, the wee Scottish donkey as strong as a horse, eeyored “Today!”

 

 

Knobbly O’Knee, the Irish racehorse as tall as a tree, sang, “Tiddley-hay!”

And Pauly Pee, as small as you and me, whispered, “Which way?”

 

 

But watching from the end,

Everyone’s wise old friend,

Norby Nofuss, clearly as big as a bus, neighed “No way!

You’ll be like the ship that sailed to the sunrise, but into a storm and got wrecked,

All the little men on board that boat got well and truly decked,

And oh they were glad to make it home to their familiar bay.

 

 

“For we are loved and looked after here by Bill and Ed,

The grass always looks greener in other fields,” he said.

 

 

 

But the others just “supposed”,

And that evening when their gate was closed,

With a kick and a hoof,

That nearly took off the roof,

They all escaped with little fuss,

Except for wise old Norby, clearly as big as a bus.

 

 

And while he stayed and munched his grass,

They all galloped super-fast,

Over fences and hedges and fields and a track,

Johnny and Joanie whinnied, “This is the life, we’re never going back!”

 

 

On they trotted in this new paradise,

Until suddenly a monster arose and they froze like ice.

 

 

It had a long black bottom, as ugly as you saw,

Its top made up of red, yellow and yucky blurred colours galore,

 

 

Its name was the monstrous M25,

And they all neighed “We want to stay alive!”

From Betty to Knobbly they all shook a mane,

And cried “Let’s turn back or we’d be insane!”

 

 

So they turned and they trotted, then cantered, galloped and back to their stables they ran,

Just as fast as four hooves times eight possibly can!

 

 

And they were soon happily back,

On the right track,

And into Bill and Ed’s yard,

Because to find it’s not hard.

 

 

 

 

 

And watching from the end,

Everyone’s wise old friend,

Norby Nofuss, clearly as big as a bus, 

Who was happily eating,

But whinnied to them in kind greeting.

 

 

Then the rest ate their hay,

With no further delay,

 

 

That’s Betty the beaut — she’s scruffy but cute,

Tomboy the toughie — he’s cute but scruffy,

 

 

There’s Tickly Tig — she’s ticklish, round and big,

And Maurice McMorse — the wee Scottish donkey as strong as a horse,

 

 

Nextdoor live Johnny and Joanie Fame — the ginger twins both the same (and each as red as a flame),

Their neigh-bour is Knobbly O’Knee — the Irish racehorse as tall as a tree,

And Pauly Pee — he’s as small as you and me,

And still watching from the end,

Is everyone’s wise old friend,

Norby Nofuss — he’s clearly as big as a bus!

 

 

They all live here in Bill and Ed’s yard,

It’s close to you, to find it’s not hard.

And all agreed the best place was right under their noses,

And they’d never ever listen to any more silly “supposes”…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright © EM Hunt 2009.

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DMHeadley wrote 1409 days ago

Hi Sam, I just loved Norby. Very well written and very funny ,but found the font too busy for me!
I wish you well with the book and good luck.
Dawn,
My Friends and Me

christopherdean wrote 1558 days ago

Sam,
I noticed that you first uploaded this in July last year and I look at your bookshelf and watchlist and there doesn't seem to be the interest there that you can potentially have. My suggestion is that you take down the children't poetry, even though it is good and funny and cute and either save that or submit it somewhere else. It is hard to write an intriguing synopsis when you're dividing child's poetry and something of a thriller. If you work on your thriller to the word count of at least 10,000 and upload it individually and write a synopsis on it individually you might draw more interest to your hard work. Then you can give it the title you want, Bloodmeal. Also what you can do is work on the poetry on the side and upload two books with a word count of 10,000 each. One being a thriller and the other being a collection of children's poetry. The way it stands now no editor will look at two different genres in one book.
Good luck, hope that helps,
Christopher Dean
--Pen and Ink

Let me know when you upload Bloodmeal as a stand alone book and I'll be happy to back it.

ScoRho wrote 1559 days ago

Your title is waht drew me to this one, so I was surprised to see Bloodmeal mixed in. But it's a good surprise. I think Bloodmeal is the stronger of the tree.

The Norby stories are fun, although the fonts made them a little difficult for me to read on screen. Rhyme tends to call attention to itself, but Norby is a delightful little horse. Most of the rhymes were good, although there were some definite stretchers.

Bloodmeal, on the other hand, is a strongly written bonus. This one could really suck me in. My only criticism (and this is a fairly common one for me, and might well be just a matter of taste) is that the writing, though generally very good, is a bit adjective heavy. Strong nouns in good sentences don't need the help, and so the adjectives only weaken the description.

Roe wrote 1560 days ago

the thing about this is it is fun! I enjoyed it, it flows along at a good pace and it will be wonderful with illustrations. From the book cover looks like you have some great ideas to bring the characters to life. Great fun and backed.

Andrew W. wrote 1589 days ago

Norby Nofuss and Bloodmeal

Hi Sam,

Norby is a fun romp, the difficulty of putting the story into rhyming poetry must have been very hard and I think you managed it admirably, although in places you seem to have to dip into Yoda-like phrases to achieve this. Second verse of book two, to find it’s not hard. That was like a small speedbump, but otherwise it scans pretty smoothly, I would imagine the finished book will include illustrations.

Bloodmeal, I only read a bit of this but it does show well your versatility as a writer and it had a good pacy beginning. Welcome to this site, am happy to back both of your books. You might want to upload a long repeating sentence as a chapter for Norby and then separate Bloodmeal out so it gets separate reviews but be really careful that in the upload and download process your books don’t drop below 10,000 words or all previous comments are lost.

Great start, happy to support.
Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss)

Sam Hackett wrote 1589 days ago

Thank you for letting me know, has made my day. Will try to get on the website more often again – although we have a three-month-old baby boy so spare time is in short supply! All the very best to you.

bonalibro wrote 1589 days ago

I read them to my little girl and she was delighted with the rhymes.

Backed

TSC
Chili con Carnality

Francesco wrote 1590 days ago

You're right it did make me smile.
Backed!!!

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