Kirsty's Story My Fight against a condition called Neurofibromatosis (NF)

Kirsty's Story.

A commendable acheivement, of much benefit to people, and very well written as well.

Backed.

Azam Gill
"Blasphemy!"

Good story Kristy...I wish you well.

Lockjaw

I never heard of Neurofibromatsis before. Your book shows me that you have courage to tell your story and put it out there for everyone to see. This piece has the feeling that you are telling us this tale - especially after the intro. The question I have for you is this: what do you want with your book? Do you want this to be a special piece for friends and family to read? Maybe self-publish for people who want to learn about NF because they have it or knows someone who does. In that case, your book is excellent and you should be very proud. On the other hand, if you are looking to make this into a more commerical piece with a broad audience, then you have a nice outline here. If you really want this to be commerical, you are going to have to do something even more difficult - show us what you are experiencing more than telling. If you don't understand what I mean, I can send you a message trying to make my point clearer. I will say this: I learned something and I felt for you as you told the story. And it's well written - didn't notice any typos. For those reasons, I'll back your story. Best of luck, KJ

Kirsty's Story...

I think it's admirable that you want to help others by writing this story. I'm assuming that you particularly want to help those with NF, but also others with debilitating conditions or diseases.

Sooo, my advice comes from a desire to help you get this story in shape so that you'll reach the widest audience possible.

You simply must read two books. The first is Scene and Structure by Jack W. Bickham. Yes, it's a book about how to structure a novel and a scene, and how to link those scenes so that the reader will keep on turning the pages. But it's a book that can help people who are writing memoirs, biographys and autobiographies. You won't be sorry you read it, believe me. Even when stories are true, we can learn to write them better, and structure is a key element in any storytelling.

The second book is Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King (they should be paying me royalties.) Again, while the book is addressed to fiction writers, it's also about storytelling, but more focused on the words and phrases to use and to avoid.

I like to compare writing any story to the human body: the skeleton is the structure, and the skin is the words. There's no point in having a strong skeleton without strong words, too...and vice versa.

You have an incredibly important and inspiring story to tell, Kirsty. I really want you to get this published. Please keep working on this until it's publishable.

Shelved to encourage you to keep on writing. I'll be thinking about you.

Cheers,
Sheryl
IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES

My wife has an incurable condition and is in a wheelchair so a lot of this brought back memories of how difficult the transition phase is. Good luck for the future. On my shelf. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

Kristy, I applaud your ability to take life's pain and offer it to the world for the greater good. It's both heart warming and gut wrenching to read. You are a model of bravery, optimism, and spunk.

Have you considered writing your story as one of fiction? Taking a young girl and lead her through this harrowing experience, allowing fiction to bring out the way society both helps and hurts her? Allow your experience to teach others compassion through another form of role modeling and molding? It seems this is rich with possibilities far beyond what you've already offered.

Your voice is clearly upbeat and one of courage in the face of insurmountable odds. I promise you teachers are always looking for works of fiction written by individuals, like yourself, that bridge the gap between facing the challenge and beating the odds.

Whether you chose to expand your writing to include fiction or not, you've proven yourself a winner on many levels. Bravo!

Hi Kirsty!

What great insight to a very trying condition. My hat's off to you for the courage with which you write this. Of course I will back this...

One suggestion - make your intro into several different paragraphs.

Great job - best of luck to you!

Kim
Invisible Justice

Hi Kirsty!

What great insight to a very trying condition. My hat's off to you for the courage with which you write this. Of course I will back this...

One suggestion - make your intro into several different paragraphs.

Great job - best of luck to you!

Kim
Invisible Justice

Brave.
Shelved

I came to read this on the recommendation of the lovely Sara. Well done for writing this down, it must have been hard. I hope you can get your inspirational story out there! Backed and best of luck! x

Inspiration! And humbling for all of us not doing our part for humanity. SHELVED!

JC
The Obergemau File

Inspiration! And humbling for all of us not doing our part for humanity. SHELVED!

JC
The Obergemau File

Hi Kirsty,

I'm here because of a thread that teen4writing/Sara Samarasinghe posted, letting everyone know about your courageous story. I'm so glad she did, and I'm happy to support this by putting your book on my shelf - I hope it garners you some additional attention. Thank you for sharing your book with us, and best of luck with it.

~Traci

I'm gonna back this to support the amazing story of Kirsty who surely is an inspiration to us all!
-Cara

I think its very brave to expose your life in a novel. Its very well-written and you inject great humour in to this. As a nurse, even I have sat across from a doctor and not understood what was being talked about sometimes. I suggest you break up your long pitch into smaller paragraphs to make it more appealing. I also suggest you break up your longer paragraphs in your text.
Try to avoid repeating the same word in a paragraph, its easy to do, I've done it myself. In your first paragraph you repeat dance about four times.
There's some strange formatting near the end of your second paragraph. You go from single space to triple spacing? A little off-putting.
These are all cosmetic things. I think this book will do very well. It reminds me of one of the Judy Blume books, can't remember the title now but the heroine had scoliosis. Best of luck with this.

Hi Kirsty
I'd just like to add my congratulations for writing your story. I wish you well not only with getting published but also with life itself
Happy to give you a spin on the shelf.
Sue (A Boy Called George)

Hi Kirsty,

This is such a wonderful work. It's so heartfelt, and your emotions through the illness shine through, tugging on your reader's heartstrings. You show how the illness has affected your life while simultaneously informing the reader about your struggles.

Fantastic job. I'm sure this will go very far - it very much deserves to.

Shelved with pleasure.

Love,
Sara :o)

Hello Kirsty,
You have a well written work here with great descriptive touch and rich choice of words. You did a good job bringing out not only the story but the overall influence the illness has even on those around. Rightly shelved.

All the best.

Janvier (Flash of the Sun)