The Mysterious Legend of Vladimir The Beginning

Good visual in the first paragraph,
RT

An enjoyable read- no major typos that I ran across. Best of luck to you. Desi.

A polished well articulated story by an accomplished author

Great book

The Mind Setter

A very captivating pitch, with a story to match. Powerful, dark, and everything a vampire story should be. Very well written with a well thought out plot. Happy to back. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Great story, backed with pleasure.

I am not a fan of vampire stories - they tend to be riddled with cliches - but you have succeeded in making this emminently readable. Vladimir, cursed through no fault of his own, tries to be strong despite what Fate throws at him. Nasty Nadia deserves what she gets.
Very visual, can hear the soundtrack in the background. A few more historical touches would seal it for me, grounding the story in time, but can see this proving popular.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

Well, I can't wait to see the movie in 2010. Surely, that's going to be a fast production. At first glance, I thought we were dealing with a straight Vlad the Impaler biopic type thing. It's not that at all. Your short chapters make this so accessible with lovely prose that engaged me instantly. To be honest, I read a lot of vampire stories on Authonomy, and there was something abou this that I felt was fresh. I'm not sure whether it was the period or what. But I do know I liked it.
Carl
The Time hunters

Thank you so much, the movie "Vladimir" will be out late summer 2010.

I’ve just read this, it has something that is well worth the effort to work on. Your skill with characterisation is very, very good Vlad is a great character. Plots good, like all gems just needs polishing.

I’ve just read this, it has something that is well worth the effort to work on. Your skill with characterisation is very, very good Vlad is a great character. Plots good, like all gems just needs polishing.

This is a good take on an old tale because it's every wedding planner's worst nightmare: all the guests and the bride dead at the wedding. The strength of the story is that, despite his flaws and the fact he's a vampire, you've made Vlad a likable and sympathetic character. Makes a reader want to follow him and sees how all of this plays out. Some of your dialogue feels stilted but I'm thinking you meant it to be that way (I have little idea how vampires talk). Either way, this is a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

KC, I love what I have read so far

Great imagery and descriptions--I think you do a very good job of connecting with your readers.

The book is filled with tension, action, and suspense. You are a gifted writer my friend and your manuscript will do very well.


Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

LOVED THIS PLOT. WELL THOUGHT OUT NEW TAKE ON VAMPIRES. wILL DEFINITELY BACK THE BOOK BEST WISHES PAMELASTRANGE.COM

Great story. Nice take on the vampire legend.

Backed

Jill

Poor Vladimir! You do give him a hard time, don't you! Having a curse put on him even before birth must make him wonder why he bothers! But, of couse, this is true to life because all of us are born into situations we don't choose, some blessed and some cursed, so your story shows how determination can overcome a difficult start in life. Your high quality writing will certainly ensure that you get a good readership, and I wish you well with your book. Backed. Tony.

I think your writing style is dividing opinion here! I'd come down on a little more detail around the action myself as the pace does seem a little fast. That said, nicely written, and a new spin on vampires! Good luck with it. Miles.

I thought this was a nicely told vampire story, and manages to avoid any dreadful cliches. I do think that the pace was a little fast, and could be padded out with a bit more details. Most people over-do the writing, I think this is the first instance of underdone writing! Anyway, that is just preferential, and is nothing to to stop this being an accomplished book.

Andrew

Hi KC,

This is a masterful, well crafted tale. Your descriptions are wonderfully succinct.
One 'gets the picture' without the ordeal of wading through paragraph after paragraph of gore. Gladly backed, Jacqui Christensen

KC,

You have forged an absolutely perfect writing style for this classic story, giving it an authentic ring that will thrill your Vampire readers.

Your writing flows smoothly and the pace is just right for this genre.

You could possibly watch out for repetitions, e.g . . . .she "handed" the baby . . . It would be easy to find an alternative way of passing the baby from one person to another.

Good luck with this. On my shelf.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Hi KC

An interesting take on the Dracula legend. I like the episodic way in which it is told - it cuts straight to the emotional meat of the story as it were, without any tedious filler material. Shelved.

Nicole

Finally getting caught up reading books on my watchlist. Although this is not a genre I read, the story and writing appealed to me.

You might consider geting rid of some of the semi-colons by restructuring some of your sentences. I'd also suggest you eliminate some of the "he said, "she said," etc. In many instances, it's obvious who's speaking, so the tags are not necessary.

Popping you on my shelf.

Hi KC, read the first seven chapters and really enjoyed it. The one observation I would make, and bear in mind I have not read the whole book, is that the book moves at a fast pace, which is good, it builds excitement and makes for a great page turner, but I thought you rushed Vlads transformation a little. Perhaps it would be a good opportunity to build some more tension, have him slowly feel the effects and struggle with what is happening to him.
I don't like to be critical, what the hell would I know anyway, and I loved the book. Paul

This is not my genre, but the writing is clear and and almost poetic, I think for vampire lovers everywhere this will be 'just the ticket' so look no further. Backed
BADD

BACKING it again because Poppet did and I have always trusted her instincts. Think you can make it to the Ed's desk.

Do look forward to your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau File

K,
After 7 chapters I am still wanting more.
This is a well written tale in the classic vampire setting.
My only concern is todays readers may not accept the classic vampire when they can have Edward Cullen.
That is not the problem of your writing, and I hope it isn't the case becuse this is good.

A couple of smal suggestions
The chapter header in ch1 is too big,
It prevents me from increasing the font size, and my 50 yr old eyes struggled.
The other chapters seemed ok.

When Vlads mother holds him for the first time.
She looked down at him, and said, 'My beautiful child...
or Looking down on him she said, "My .....

I thought the gypsy curse was an excellent way to illustrate how Vlad the vampire came to be.

I will make room on my shelf, Well done.

MickR - The Nightcrawler

Thank you so much for your kind words. KC

Hi KC!

I love vamp novels, and there are a ton of all kinds... But this one has a gothic tone that makes it feel authentic and steeped in history. Very nicely written. Characters are spot on, and I love your cover! Great work - backed!

Kim
Invisible Justice

Hi KC!

I love vamp novels, and there are a ton of all kinds... But this one has a gothic tone that makes it feel authentic and steeped in history. Very nicely written. Characters are spot on, and I love your cover! Great work - backed!

Kim
Invisible Justice

Thank you so much Jarod. KC

KC-

I'm here to return your read of Mummy's Boy. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and back it - it is much appreciated!

Your Vladimir is quite an interesting read. The pitch and premise are good, though I would suggest that perhaps you add a line of spacing between the paragraphs of your pitch, just to section the paragraphs. But it is well written, and does the job of detailing the plotline for the reader.

Inside, your writing style is very good - spot on for historical fiction. Your dialogue feels like it is straight out of the 1400's, very authentic feeling. It puts me in the middle of the historical picture you are drawing for the reader. Vladimir and Nadia are both very strong characters - you've detailed and developed them well. I didn't find anything to nit - very polished indeed. Shelved with pleasure - the very best of luck to you!

Jared (Mummy's Boy)

KC-

I'm here to return your read of Mummy's Boy. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and back it - it is much appreciated!

Your Vladimir is quite an interesting read. The pitch and premise are good, though I would suggest that perhaps you add a line of spacing between the paragraphs of your pitch, just to section the paragraphs. But it is well written, and does the job of detailing the plotline for the reader.

Inside, your writing style is very good - spot on for historical fiction. Your dialogue feels like it is straight out of the 1400's, very authentic feeling. It puts me in the middle of the historical picture you are drawing for the reader. Vladimir and Nadia are both very strong characters - you've detailed and developed them well. I didn't find anything to nit - very polished indeed. Shelved with pleasure - the very best of luck to you!

Jared (Mummy's Boy)

I will back this for your second chapter!
your story is awesome, but I feel like those who read my first draft. I want more!
I want to know exactly what Nadia felt as she was escaping, was the place windy, lightning, dark, light. I want to see and feel everything. The second chapter too, tho it was good, you can have a scene with Vladimir wakes up to see the unknown blood on him. I want more darkness ;)

I hope I help :$
good luck,
Kimmy

Crikey, curses were good in those days. Backed

Hi KC,

I didn't realise how much I liked vampire stories till I joined authonomy - ;o)

I read far more of this than I had time for, but I couldn't stop - so apologises for short commnet!!

On the shelf.

Love Bev,

Love Overboard & Betrayal

Hi KC, This is a very fast paced work of horror and I love it, but....I think you could slow a bit. For instance. In chapter 6 I was a bit confused about the deaths of his mother and father. Either I completely missed something or your jump was too sharp and while it would be clear to you what happened to me as the reader I was a bit confused. I think you can add the proper brush strokes to your word painting to make it so very much clearer without losing either the speed or the beauty of your tale but doing so would only increase the lure of the tale, like your vampire wanting to drink blood, it is like sex, completed quickly may be done out of passion but done more gently, slow licks, light kisses, gentle and slow entry are far more pleasant than wham, bam, thank you ma'am.....so, let your creature love slowly, passionately, hungrily by allowing your abilities to write to kiss us all so lightly, so seductively, that we will lay quiet beside you while you tease us with your word kisses which we will then devour quickly while growing hungry for more. I know from being a man that scooping up a lover and placing her on her back and then entering with driving passion only to suddenly and quickly climax only satisfies for a short while while to truly enjoy the act is to let my lady experience a slow love making, slow touch, gentle tease, letting her open slowly to me and that I think applies to writing as well. It is what I strive to do in my writing and I know I have much to learn, but you have the essence here. The vampire creature is a sexual hunter and it lures us all as a forbidden fruit might but remember sensuality and slow seduction captivates and makes the kiss and the pentration so much the sweeter. Gordon Kuhn

Hi KC,
I'm a fan of anything vampire, so I liked this right away. i like your idea of telling Dracula's story. I did want to know more about Victoria-- I guess I wanted to identify with her somehow, but she left the story quickly. But I think the story moves well overall and I'm enjoying it so far. Looking forward to reading more. On my shelf.

Thank you so much. KC

Hi KC,
The chapters read fast, which is good in some respects, but I felt a bit cheated as you rushed through the scenes. Lots of potential here, so I'm happy to back you.
Jambi
Fringe of Darkness

Hi KC,
The chapters read fast, which is good in some respects, but I felt a bit cheated as you rushed through the scenes. Lots of potential here, so I'm happy to back you.
Jambi
Fringe of Darkness

Thank you so much for your kind words. KC

Interesting concept. I like your chort chapters, makes it very easy to keep reading. Your style is quite frank too, which makes reading easy, though without the subtext, I begin to wonder where you are going with this. It is a little difficult to identify with any particular protagonist. I liked Victoria, though she died too quickly for me to feel any disappointment. Not sure what I would suggest if you wanted to remedy this - perhaps just to spend a little more time with Vladimir on the internal struggles he goes though in the transformation process and the agony / guilt of knowing he murdered his wife?
All the best though, you've got a solid piece of work here with a good following. It's nice that you've gone back to old fashioned vampire lore.
Regards,
Ani

Thank you so much for your kind words. KC

I so love vamps..and I really like what you have written...this story is easy to read..relatively short chapters. Good luck with this... and thank you so much for shelving my book... i so appreciate it.

Thank you so muche for your kind words.KC

Hi KC,

I've bumped into your book on some of my friend's bookshelves, so I came over to take a look. Usually, when I plan to ask for a read swap, I check out the pitch and skim the first chapter - in your case, I read the first chapter, stopped long enough to back it, then went back for two more. Your plotline is a risky move - take a concept that's so familiar to everyone, and re-write it in a way that works - but you managed to do it. I only have two little nitpicks -

Chapter Two - The tenses in the last sentence sounded a bit off - maybe, "faded as he left the room, with fear that the curse was stronger." I know that sounds a bit awkward as well - maybe play around with the phrasing a bit, to end the chapter on a strong note.

Chapter Three - "Time flew by with friends and family checking in on him, making sure he had the ring and that his clothes were just right." - I can't quite put my finger on it, but this phrase struck me as modern, and pulled me out of the story for just a moment. You've done a great job up until this point maintaining the period feel to your writing (and you continue to do so afterward as well), but this jumped out at me. Maybe if you substitute "wedding suit" for clothes, and rephrase the "checking in on him" it would blend in better.

The short chapters really move the story along at a great pace, and you've set up a very interesting twist. As I said before, shelved!

~Traci
Tangled Web

Thank you so much, for your kind words. KC

Hi KC,

I like books about vampires and I like this one too. The short chapters make it easy to read. Your writing is well paced and the dialogue moves the story along. I'll be back to read more.

Carol

Hi KC,

I like books about vampires and I like this one too. The short chapters make it easy to read. Your writing is well paced and the dialogue moves the story along. I'll be back to read more.

Carol

Hi KC,

I've bumped into your book on some of my friend's bookshelves, so I came over to take a look. Usually, when I plan to ask for a read swap, I check out the pitch and skim the first chapter - in your case, I read the first chapter, stopped long enough to back it, then went back for two more. Your plotline is a risky move - take a concept that's so familiar to everyone, and re-write it in a way that works - but you managed to do it. I only have two little nitpicks -

Chapter Two - The tenses in the last sentence sounded a bit off - maybe, "faded as he left the room, with fear that the curse was stronger." I know that sounds a bit awkward as well - maybe play around with the phrasing a bit, to end the chapter on a strong note.

Chapter Three - "Time flew by with friends and family checking in on him, making sure he had the ring and that his clothes were just right." - I can't quite put my finger on it, but this phrase struck me as modern, and pulled me out of the story for just a moment. You've done a great job up until this point maintaining the period feel to your writing (and you continue to do so afterward as well), but this jumped out at me. Maybe if you substitute "wedding suit" for clothes, and rephrase the "checking in on him" it would blend in better.

The short chapters really move the story along at a great pace, and you've set up a very interesting twist. As I said before, shelved!

~Traci
Tangled Web

I so love vamps..and I really like what you have written...this story is easy to read..relatively short chapters. Good luck with this... and thank you so much for shelving my book... i so appreciate it.

Hi KC. I’m here for the swap (caveat: I’m a noob, a nitpicker and unpublished book-wise, so take the following with a handful of garlic ;-). I’ve got to admit too that vampires have never really been my thing and books on dracula are definitely not my genre, so I was prejudiced before I started reading. Having finished the usual two chapters, I feel that TMLVB isn’t for me and that it needs more work to make it shine (this just my opinion, feel free to throw it in the Moldovia River :-). Rather than clutter up your page with subjective waffle, I figured you might prefer the waffle sent separately (or not at all). Let me know and, in the meantime, I wish you all the best with the writing on A and beyond.

Interesting concept. I like your chort chapters, makes it very easy to keep reading. Your style is quite frank too, which makes reading easy, though without the subtext, I begin to wonder where you are going with this. It is a little difficult to identify with any particular protagonist. I liked Victoria, though she died too quickly for me to feel any disappointment. Not sure what I would suggest if you wanted to remedy this - perhaps just to spend a little more time with Vladimir on the internal struggles he goes though in the transformation process and the agony / guilt of knowing he murdered his wife?
All the best though, you've got a solid piece of work here with a good following. It's nice that you've gone back to old fashioned vampire lore.
Regards,
Ani

I imagine sitting before a fire. My sisters are there, dressed in satins, like my mother, garbed in the black of a mourner. Her eyes are always distant, perhaps remembering my father, and she scant attention to the book Uncle James is reading by gas light. My hands are fold within themselves behind my back as I stand, dressed in my dinner suite, next to the piano. My eyes venture to my cousin, Matilda, and her pretty blond locks. I do hope this story frightens her; perhaps she will later seek solace in my arms.

Your book feels a bit like a victorian story read aloud. The text seems rather reserved. Is this intentional? Or is it just my perspective? Oddly, I found it quite readable.

Back to vampire basics then?! No shilly-shallying around for you - no fudges about being able to go out in the day, or going to school or any of that old nonsense. It's back to Transylvania and no holds barred. I did wonder if Victoria was a common name in 1452 - I know its origins are Roman but it is so associated with Queen Victoria that I kept having to remind myself we were in medieval times. POV wanders around a lot - but that could be your intention. What I did wonder was how the empress knew so much about Vladimir's state - ie that you have to invite him in, that he's only powerful after dark etc. She seemed unaware of details of the curse - or did I miss something?
I think this needs some finessing but it's strong stuff and I'm going to back.
Jane
(Walker)

The only vampire novel I have read is Stoker's Dracula, so I come to this fresh. Gothic and bloody. You write with conviction. I'll give you my backing.

Nice take on the vamp novel! Although the focus of my own vampy novel is shifted away somewhat from the raw sexuality that vampires can take on, I love it when writers are able to incorporate some really steamy (and deliciously bloody) scenes into plot. You've got that here in bunches, and I think that characteristic is at the heart of the traditional vampire. Nice job!

I don't normally read vampire stories and yet I do love fantasy and found myself enjoying your style and warming to the story. Your opening is fast-paced and just invites the reader to want to read further.
Carole (From His Mistress)

Hi KC

I’ll just copy in some of the notes I wrote as I was going along.

In ch1 - I thought it odd that a physician would curse her. What power would a physician have to do that? Could the physician be a healer or a mystic?

In ch 2 - Who’s nikola? Not mentioned before this I don’t think.

Ch 3 – There is a certain film script quality to your description of the wedding and for that matter throughout all the chapters I read. On the plus side, this makes your prose fast paced and keeps the reader turning pages. It also enables us to see exactly what you’re seeing.
The down side is that I feel you’ve sacrificed (no pun intended) giving us a deeper insight into your characters. We just get to see the exterior of them and hear what they say, but don’t always get a chance to see how they think and feel. What are their ambitions, what they love and what they hate. The story is very much driven forwards and doesn’t deviate from the A to B course. Sometimes a diversion would be nice and see how the characters interact in ordinary situations.

Hope that makes some kind of sense.

I think that you have bags of writing talent and I will definitely give your book some shelf time. I would also like to see you turn your pen (or typewriter) to a non-vampire based story and see what you come up with.

Good luck,

Mike
(Calloway Blood)