Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 75650
date submitted 28.08.2009
date updated 06.01.2011
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Thriller...
classification: moderate
complete

Every Atom Belonging

Dan C. McKinnis

All the money in the world, or a world that knows not money...what's it gonna be?

 

Kidnapped and forced to work in a secret government facility, a rogue scientist finally escapes with more than just his freedom.

Chris Rains, a physics genius attending The Massachusetts Institute of Technology, mysteriously vanishes along with his fiancee.

Years later, however, Chris pays a visit to his old friend, Adam, abruptly pulling him from his comfortable, mundane existence the night he shows Adam a device capable of rearranging one form of matter into any other.

Eventually the device could mean free access to basic necessities for everyone on the planet. There's just one problem: getting rid of money is one thing, but greed is a whole 'nother matter entire.

Chris could make a fortune with the device, but he couldn't care less about wealth. His idea? Over-production of anything valuable, from pearls to platinum, until everything rare becomes entirely commonplace.

His enemies? To many to count...

The line between priceless and worthless has never been so thin.

 
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tags

action, conspiracy, conspiracy theories, futurism, nanotech, science-fiction, sci-fi, secret societies, suspense, techno, thriller

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HarperCollins Wrote

The one thing that struck me when reading this submission is that the author is a great technician – by that I mean that in terms of structuring the thriller, the author gives just enough detail to leave you guessing. What happened to Chris? Who is Will? Why are childhood friends meeting after such a long time and what caused them to be separated from each other? In this respect the manuscript was a very easy read. The opening to this thriller is fast-paced and the level of intrigue grips you from the start. It was also very obvious that the author has read widely in the genre to be able to replicate the suspense needed to hold the reader.

What I think is an issue, however, is the plot itself in parts. The scene with the Rubik’s cube producing diamonds (replicated later with the machine which can produce endless amounts of the same sneaker) was quite baffling to me so I wondered whether the reader would feel that this was a little far fetched. I think the idea of snatching exceptionally bright children so that the Government can check in on their careers/keep tabs is an interesting one but whether they would ever be allowed to return back to normality or contact people from their past, I’m not so sure (surely the Government would prevent the conspiracy from ever getting out).

Also there was quite a lack of detail in parts which I feel leads the reader to doubt the story – so at present I feel the story is neither straight thriller nor straight techno thriller. More technological detail will firmly root the story in the techno thriller genre and I think will help readers to believe the plot. For example, at one point, when we learn that Chris has escaped Area 52 as a digital copy, the reader is given little explanation as to how that has happened. So as it stands you are left doubting the plot. There needs to be a little more explanation rather than just thousands of fibre optic strands.

I would advise you to go back through the manuscript and really work on the plot, as in terms of suspense and characterisation it is absolutely fine. Think about how Chris and Will are going to get out of their predicament. How is technology going to aid them? When talking about technology to a lay reader, you want to make it as exciting and far fetched as possible but it has to be backed up otherwise the tendency is to switch off from the plot.

evwalker wrote 1477 days ago

Dan,
I was so tired of getting spam from you, I'm not sure why I even looked at your book.
Well, what can I say? Eight chapters in, I had to tear myself away, or else I would spend the rest of the day reading. I intended to read one chapter, write a quick comment and then be on to working on my own book, but that didn't happen.
This has got to be by far the best book I've seen on Authonomy. It's well-written, which to me is so important; I find myself losing interest in a story, no matter how good the plot line, when I'm jarred out of the narrative by simple grammatical errors. And the story... wow. Absolutely riveting. I'll be back to read more.
You deserve to be on the Editor's Desk. I have a feeling someday I'll see this book on a shelf at my local bookstore.
Seriously, though, I sort of felt like I was going over to the dark side when I clicked on your book. I hate spam. Only ten hours to go. Best of luck!
-Libby

Suzannah Burke wrote 1489 days ago

Dan...my guts are clenched in a tight knot. Reading a fiction work of this quality does that, together with the goosebumps and the hairs on my neck pricking up. Why...because it is all so incredibly possible. Not the scientific discovery and creation of a ficticious character...although 'nothings impossible'...because this work feels and reads like TRUTH...that my friend is frightening...wealth has always been a weapon against the poor...what if there were an equalizer, such as Chris's creation...The endless possibilities and overwhelming fear that it would engender would be massive....an equalizer...They whoever we deem "THEY" to be would do anything...anything to stop it.

You have written a gut punching thriller...paced fast enough to make me catch my breath, with sadly realistic insights to the human condition...'mans inhumanity to man' Dan even U2 can't fix that one.

I have read so many books that held a hint of promise...this one fulfills promise and goes way beyond reasonable expectations...This, Dan...this is a winner.

Backed and I'll have an autographed copy of the hard-cover please....very soon.
Suzannah Burke.

greeneyes1660 wrote 1495 days ago

Dan, This book is many things. It is orginal,well written, thrilling but more importantly believable.Choosing area 51 and creating 52 Brilliant ;that's what makes it so believable so many unanswered questions(that area to this day is of concern and interest to so many) but truth be told we all know how governments work and that we are much more advanced on so many levels that we're lied to or not told about. Like most genius, it is never about the money, but the accomplishment. The fact that his family was never about money but success two very different things, I might add, makes this special, not just for it's story lines but for it's hidden life lessons on what is truly important in life and what is most valuable...and as you clearly show here it isn't money, it's obligation and commitment to making the world a better place; and you did it with intrigue and suspense and I have no doubt that you will not only be a published Author but an accomplished one at that..backed and proud to be part of it's onset..Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart look forward to your input and comments when you get the time......To your success Cheers

J.Adams wrote 1499 days ago

This is brilliant, timely, sensitive, fascinating, and impossible to put down. I have to stop at chapter 24 because my dogs have their legs crossed and are looking worried, my family is really hoping I'll at least make oatmeal for dinner, if not something a little more dinneresque, and I have to get on with my life! I can't wait to read the rest of this! If I owned a publishing company, I would publish this in a second, and drop a good amount of money in marketing, because this is a best seller - one of the smart ones! You really have put to good use your extremely complex awareness of how things really work here on good ole planet earth. I would also not call it sci fi or thriller, I'd call it literary fiction because you write with an incredibly compelling voice. This is a GREAT read! BACKED with tremendous enthusiasm!
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

August74 wrote 1540 days ago

Okay. So far I have read the first four sections. I intend to take the laptop to bed with me and continue until the end. I would buy this book based on what I've read so far.
It's intelligent, your use of language is concise, you create the world immediately and vividly and I like the narrators voice.
I felt immersed in the story straight away and I am invested.
Your writing style is comfortable, your dialogue is believable and the concept is delicious.
I love this genre and eat it up. I've read published versions of this genre that aren't up to your standard.
You are, quite basically sir, a good writer. And you're the first on my bookshelf.
How much of the book is completed? Is this half? More, less? Have you finished it but not uploaded it all? I ask for my own peace of mind ;)

bonalibro wrote 1193 days ago

Dan,

This is reading much, much better. It appears you've done some homework on the science (though what would I know about that, but you make it all sound plausible, and I like the way you bring in Wall Street. This is getting to be very publishable.

Just a couple of things I noticed. "even that's how he always referred to me that way." ax that way

humanities > humanity's

immigrated > emigrated

going up > growing up

Anyway, congratulations on it.

bonalibro wrote 1216 days ago

Dan,

You need to read this aloud to yourself, better yet get someone to do it for you. Categorically diminutive? what is wrong with small? I hope you saved a copy of the original. Cheers.

bonalibro wrote 1277 days ago

Dan

Nice job of solving the problem of the things that can't be explained. Do it religiously. Take it on faith.

For what it is worth, you're back on my shelf. I noticed I'm not on yours anymore. Nor do you reply to my emails. So, what's the beef?

nits

even thought that's always how he referred to me that way?

school of though they subscribe to?

philip john wrote 1279 days ago

A fascinating premise, superbly turned into a very readable book. I can well see why this has achieved such success.

Philip John

jew wrote 1376 days ago

“Every Atom Belonging” by Dan McKinnis

I started reading this book last night and I couldn't stop reading, it is now almost 8 AM! Yup, that's right, I stayed up all night just to read this book! This has to be the best book I've ever read! But I am really upset that the complete book is not uploaded for me to read, that's a real big letdown! Dan, please upload the rest so I can read it, or have you not finished it yet?

This book has got so many bits of truth built into it along with an awesome plot! Character building is great along with superb action, thrills and suspense! Most of the technologies described really do exist such as replicator devices that can make exact copies of anything within seconds, human cloning, mind control, invisibility cloaks, Tesla weapons, antigravity crafts and many more suppressed technologies.

What I really liked most about this story is the idea to bring the money system crashing down to where there is so much of everything that money is not needed anymore and that no one owns anything.

The biggest problem in this world is greed and money! This is exactly what the parable in the Bible of Jesus flipping the money tables over is referencing. Bring down the system by flipping the money tables! In other words bring the stock market down!

If only people would wake up from their unconsciousness, unawareness and apathy we can finally evolve humanity in the right direction. People raise their kids teaching them how to be good consumers and employees or shall I say ‘slaves’ to this greedy system of ‘time is money’! We are born into slavery and mind control, please everyone wake up!

Anyway, as I said, this has to be the best book I've ever read and I hope I can look forward to reading the rest very soon without having to pay for it because I'm broke. After all that is the basis of the story, to do away with money, hint, hint!

With Love,
John
“Consciousness in an Unconscious World”

jew wrote 1377 days ago

Hello Dan,

I have to hand it to ya, I've just finished chapter 11 and I felt the urge to praise you on your writing before continuing. So far this is an awesome story, a definite page turner!

I'd like to tell you that this technology that you write about does exist. However, the technology I speak of is slightly different, it makes identical copies of whatever you put in the machine within seconds, but you must provide the raw materials of whatever you're copying is made of. So if you put an item such as a gun into the machine, you must also put blocks of the raw material wood, metal, plastic and so forth. Then once the machine is started a bunch of lasers of some sort scan the original then the raw materials are somehow transformed into an identical copy within seconds.

The raw materials are shifted into another dimension of some sort and then shifted back identical to the object being copied, with every detail such as scratches, scuffs, writings even the wood and metal grain and marks, literally identical.

Anyway, I just thought I'd mention that. And of course whoever is reading this most likely think I'm delusional, naïve or just plain stupid but I can assure you that is not the case. I have witnessed firsthand things much more extraordinary than this, this is mere child's play compared to things I've witnessed and experienced.

Once again, this is an excellent book and as soon as I post this it's time for Chapter 12! I'm very glad I found your book, thank you!

With Love,
John

Robert McIntyre wrote 1381 days ago

What happened to the HC review of this book? Does this mean the review wasn't to the author's liking?

EltopiaAuthor wrote 1402 days ago

"Every Atom ..."

From reading the first chapter, I suspect that this is going to be a well crafted story. I like the way the author acknowledges Adam's disbelief and thus (I presume this is what the author is up to) helps us, the readers, to be willing as some point to dispell our own qualms about accepting the (strange?) world that I assume will be described in the story.

At least, if this is not foreshadoing, it certainly could be.

OK, good luck with your story. I will back it.

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"

EltopiaAuthor wrote 1402 days ago

"Every Atom Belonging"

Hello Dan. First off, I r eally liked your "about me" description. Seldom do I get a laugh or even a chuckle from one, and yours gave me my morning laughs of the day.

As to Chapter 1, for some reason the suggestiveness of your character names just tickles me too. Adam (the f irst (real?) man. Isaac, which means "laughter" but also in this context brings to mind Isaac Newton, and so-on. Biblical characters all. The potential implications fascinate me. So does the personalizing of the great "man of science," putting him in jeans and sneakers, so to speak. I have always been impressed with the ordinary-ness of brilliant people. Whenever I have met one, it is so shocking to find that they are not at all like, you know. the great so-and-so's that I have imagined.

Jack Hughes wrote 1449 days ago

Fabulous, what a gripping story. Looking forward to reading some more of this one. Best of luck.

Jack Hughes
"Dawn of Shadows"

Kristen Stone wrote 1453 days ago

Second look. I love the way this is formatted, jumping back and forth, you have done it very well. It could be confusing but it isn't. Only one thing to watch. I have spotted a couple of typos (was too tied up in the story to actually note where) so you do need to go through it very carefully to remove them. But a really brilliant story.
Kristen Stone
Kianda Mala - The Monkey Man

defeateddragon wrote 1455 days ago

backed

Amanuensis wrote 1457 days ago

Brilliant first chapter. I'm in. Only stumbled over one awkward comma--in the second paragraph, the one between 'carpet' and 'before'. The rest flowed.

Kristen Stone wrote 1459 days ago

Dan, Oh boy I'm jealous. How brilliant is this. It deservers to go very, very far. I wish you all the best luck with it. I've only read a few chapters so far but I will keep it so that I can read it all eventually.
Kristen

Tom B wrote 1469 days ago

Great. Congratulations on making the desk by the way.

Couple of suggestions (some might be due to British / American English differences)

1) Make impossibly large a compound word - impossibly-large.
2) O lost focus - should be I lost focus.


A nice slow down now that they've escaped after they've escaped from the diamond explosion. I was wondering how you were going to get them out.

I look forward to finding out out why Chris number 2 looks so different.

StaKC wrote 1470 days ago

Well written-thanks for that-and interesting. This belongs on a real bookshelf, not just a virtual one.

dL wrote 1471 days ago

Congrats on making the desk matey!

Njoy14u wrote 1471 days ago

Dan
A very entertaining book.
i've read a couple chapters and am hooked
Definatly back.
i'd appreciate the same.
Njoy

Sandra Hamer wrote 1475 days ago

Congratulations on making the editors desk!!!

Cheryl Kaye Tardif wrote 1475 days ago

Congratulations on having your novel selected to be read by HarperCollins. I wish you the best in success.

Cheryl Kaye Tardif,
author of Children of the Fog and Lancelot's Lady

Daniel1000 wrote 1476 days ago

Dan,

great book. will be a great film or even mini series. good luck

dan
the lottery losers

Danisile Prinsloo Chivaura wrote 1476 days ago

Dan,
I'm on Chapter 3, but I have already made up my mind - I'm hooked. I am not a fundi at techinically analyzing a book, but I know a good read when I see one. This piece of yours is great stuff - sheer brilliance. Well done. I definitely will read the rest of it, and like Libby said, I know one day your book is gonna land on a bookstore near me quite soon. Let great things happen in your life, you are a natural-born writer and never rest until you are published. Wow!!! I have backed you -you are on my bookshelf.
-Danisile

Madina wrote 1476 days ago

this book is awesome!
i have to agree with libby on it, too! :)
a very interesting read. i wish you the very best of success.
madina elliott
a wintry forgiveness

AVRAHAMANOUCHI wrote 1476 days ago

Dan


Congratulations.
I am pleased that I helped elevating your book to stardom.
Maybe you could help my book.

Avraham Anouchi

Rhiannon65 wrote 1476 days ago

Hey Dan, Congrats on your star. This book deserved it. I'm currently restructuring my book.

LRM wrote 1476 days ago

Wow! Congratulations, Dan! I hope things go well with HP. I'm so excited for you!
~Linnette

LizIsola wrote 1476 days ago

Hi Dan,
OK, so not all degrees in creative writing go to naught. Hope mine doesn't.
Love the story. You have cught me and I can't wait for it to come out.
Liz

Eileen Schuh wrote 1476 days ago

Yes! This was on of my favourite Authonomy books. Congrats, Dan!

Eileen Schuh Canadian Author FIREWALLS

Eileen Schuh wrote 1476 days ago

Yes! This was on of my favourite Authonomy books. Congrats, Dan!

Eileen Schuh Canadian Author FIREWALLS

Freddie Harte wrote 1476 days ago

I like the absence of nature in this. The avoidance of hackneyed descriptive passages. It seems to take place in a landscape of hidden portals. Has a distinctly contemporary vive to it as such. Architecture seems solid too and characterisation has blood pumping through it. I read six chapters and the writing was consistently assured and polished. How effective it as a novel will depend very much on the plot devices employed further upstream.

Ruby Jo wrote 1477 days ago

Sorry can't get into this as it is obviously a very well written, thought out book but it's too "male" for me!

Freddie Harte wrote 1477 days ago

Quality writing with a lot of crackling energy running through the prose. Clearly also a book that couldn't have existed in any time but our own which is a huge plus for me. Has a cool unsettling quantum fluctuation running through it - an archealogy of digits and equations which fascinated me. Great read. Patently marketable too.

evwalker wrote 1477 days ago

Dan,
I was so tired of getting spam from you, I'm not sure why I even looked at your book.
Well, what can I say? Eight chapters in, I had to tear myself away, or else I would spend the rest of the day reading. I intended to read one chapter, write a quick comment and then be on to working on my own book, but that didn't happen.
This has got to be by far the best book I've seen on Authonomy. It's well-written, which to me is so important; I find myself losing interest in a story, no matter how good the plot line, when I'm jarred out of the narrative by simple grammatical errors. And the story... wow. Absolutely riveting. I'll be back to read more.
You deserve to be on the Editor's Desk. I have a feeling someday I'll see this book on a shelf at my local bookstore.
Seriously, though, I sort of felt like I was going over to the dark side when I clicked on your book. I hate spam. Only ten hours to go. Best of luck!
-Libby

Quenntis wrote 1477 days ago

These first three chapters are amazing. You throw the reader right into the thick of things and let slip the important details at just the right moments. The rhythm and pacing of the story is a definite thriller so far. The Science fiction (my favorite) part is just starting. I really have nothing to nitpick. I feel this is an easy novel to read and enjoy. The reader feels safe in your hands. Nicely done! Q

Bob Avey wrote 1477 days ago

Here you go. I've been away for awhile and I'm trying to get back into the swing of things.

johnjoch wrote 1477 days ago

Dan, A great start to a good story. I wish I had time to read more but on this site it's all go. I am backing this not knowing or remembering if I have before. Have you backed my book, Three Stayed Home? JohnJ

Tom B wrote 1477 days ago

Chapter 53 - Excellent, pause for some backstory.

Mercutio wrote 1477 days ago

A love story -- unless it has an unusual presentation, style, plot twist, character -- is trite and redundant. It's all been done before. The same goes for suspense thrillers. This one makes it because it is unique -- in its concept, in its plot development, in its overall style. It's a winner.

smcint04 wrote 1477 days ago

Very entertaining book. Very fast paced and addictive. Got to say that the premises is something that I wouldn't normally have looked at but I'm glad I took a chance to give it a chance. Gladly backed.

SusieGulick wrote 1477 days ago

Dear Dan, Literary & science fiction, thriller. What a combo!. Great quotes! Your story is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm BACKING/COMMENTING on your book to help advance it. :) PLEASE take a moment to BACK/COMMENT on my TWO Books, ... "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" ... and the UNEDITED version? ... "Tell Me True Love Stories"
Thanks, Susie :)

PSKITTY wrote 1478 days ago

I definitely will read more of this one. Very tense, moved the action along just fast enough and great dialogue.

This one is going on my wall.

Kitty

Robert McIntyre wrote 1478 days ago

I've backed this book because it has an interesting premise, a well developed back story and is chock full of excitement.

Rgs., Robert

kookicat wrote 1478 days ago

Hey,

I think I've backed this before. Saw you needed a boost, so I'm backing it again.

All the best,

Lou

lookinup wrote 1479 days ago

Thrillers aren't my cup of tea, but this first chapter ends with a hook that simply won't due to ignore. If it weren't for my husband waiting for me, (I put him on hold for just a bit), I would read on now. The pitch is engrossing, the writing seems as if it is right there in the reader's face. Backed. I saw this on the recommended list on the forum and picked this up once before but I guess I didn't.

Catherine (The Golden Thread)

David Makinson wrote 1479 days ago

Hi Dan

I really enjoyed this. Whizzed through the first 13 chapters. That should tell you something - what, I don't know, but something!

I use a points system for backing, to cover the whole package. Max 20 points - 14 or over gets a backing.

Cover Image (3) 3 I would pick the book up in a shop.
Title (2) 2 Intruiging. Works for me. Turn the book over to tread the pitch.
Pitch (5) 4 Could be a fraction snappier. Para starting 'Four years later....' could do with a rework - in my humble opinion.
Style / Grammar (4) 4 Great job. I like the short paragraphs - suits the genre. Perhaps chapters are a bit short for my taste, but they work so what the hell.
Story (6) 6 Pacy, exciting - a genuine page turner. Type of book I would enjoy over a three hour plane trip. I would buy it based on what i've read. Let me know when it's published.

Total 19. Good luck.
Kind regards
David
www.davidmakinson.com

RavenofNevermoore wrote 1480 days ago

Backed. The book is a very easy read that pulls you in. I found myself finishing Chapter 10 without feeling like I had been dredged through the mud to get there. Smooth writing and story line.

Tom B wrote 1480 days ago

Another great chapter

sferre wrote 1480 days ago

I didn't have much time to read this, but you made it easy for me. I knew only a few paragraphs in that this was worth backing, luckily since I clicked the back button when I'm meant the read one.

Anyway, I like that it is well balanced between atmosphere, dialogue, wit and action.

Well done!

Steve
(The Shot)

Cheryl Kaye Tardif wrote 1480 days ago

I really like the first person voice in this. Adam's character development is shown very well through his observations of his friend. I enjoyed the Particle Man bit. But more importantly there's an element of suspense that creeps up on the reader. You tease the reader with hints of a far deeper story fraught with danger.

And the last paragraph is brilliant. It ensures that reader will be forced to turn that page. Very well done!

My only suggestion: replace the word "fixing" with perhaps "settling" or "resting", as "fixing" suggests focus and you say he's unfocused. :-)

And backed, with pleasure. I hope to have a signed copy in my collection soon.

Cheryl Kaye Tardif,
author of Children of the Fog (suspense/horror) and Lancelot's Lady (romance)

Eve Thomas wrote 1480 days ago

Hi Dan

This is good and I hope you do make it to the editor's desk.

Backed with pleasure
Eve Thomas
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