An Exceptional Failure

hi Christa,

I had a look at your pitch and found myself reading 1-4. Here are my thoughts : I like your writing style, it flows and is easy to read. You paint the divorce situation with a few desperate strokes, by Jeffrey selling off the household goods, which I found very skilled. The relationship is intriguing and I wondered how these two could be married. There is obviously more to come in the way of history.

I noticed the different fonts which distinguish Jeffrey and Summer, and once I had figured that out, it was easy. Maybe there should be a prompt for the less switched-on reader like myself, as it is a shame if the story gets interrupted because of confusion about who is talking.

I wondered if you will bring God into the story later on, as he seems to take the invisible nightslot. Overall I was impressed how you tried to tackle the subject from both sides, something which brings out the rift even more. There is the promise of a good story here. Backed.
Ame
The Ponderer's Box

Dear Christa,

Please check out our website and see whether we could be of use to you www.calliopress.com

I loved the first 5 chapters of your book which is what I've read so far. Your writing is tight and the speech of your characters is spot on and really gives the reader a sense of just how different Jeffrey and Summer really are. Please email me directly at seema@calliopress.com if you have any questions.

Regards, Seema.

great premise...
j

Dear Christa,
Your pitch and cover are wonderful. Then I read your prologue. What an astounding talent you have! I felt the blood drain right out of me while reading with the certain knowledge that the marriage was ending. You achieved that intensity and drama in only a few short paragraphs. Your use of first person narrative is perfect for the tone of this story. But the deadpan way Summer delivered the news in that last sentence was brillliant - like the parting of the waters, a force bigger than both of them. The end of the end.

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Christa,

This book is cutting-edge and I love it! Great theme, book title, plug and introduction. Backed!

Rob

Wow! This is edgy and fiery as well. You write vwey well and let the story unfold slowly along a purposeful path yet keeeping the reader informed and entertained at each line.
Very engrossing and I like the start and end of chap 1.

Masterful
Backed
The lord of the dawn

i loved the prologue - the writing is succinct and the lingering question of what happens after "I called Jasmine"... led me straight to Chapter 1 to find out! We then find that the next part is written from Summer's perspective, which allows us to see her in a different light - perhaps more favorably?? Awesome writing and interesting plot - I'm sure you'll do well here!!

The Prologue already established for me an individual voice, through the style of the prose and it forms a good introduction to the storyline while ending in a good hook.
In Chapter 1, You draw Jeffrey and Summer as clearly delineated characters, both memorable by the end of the chapter; Jeffrey perhaps a more immediately likeable person than Summer who seems a little dissembling, though clearly serves the plot as such.
But in their differing perceptions of Christianity there is a real tension which throws light, both upon Christianity and upon Jeffrey and Summer.
I see the possibility of redemption in this and want to read on to understand still more deeply the good side of Summer.

Shelved.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Dear Christa, I love literary fiction & Christian. :) I like that you have a prologue for the setting. May God give you the wisdom to finish it. Your story is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Please take a moment to BACK my TWO Books, ... "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" ... and the UNEDITED version? ... "Tell Me True Love Stories"
Thanks, Susie :)

Great premise for a book and wonderful, well-crafted writing - I would buy this book without question so Im BACKING it without question!

Liz
The Cheech Room

A year ago I wouldn't have believed that your premise for this book would have been valid...but I know some people who are involved in a lawsuit that is about as frivolous as this one. It appears that anyone has the right to sue for anything...but that doesn't mean the suit is winnable.

I did read all the chapters you have posted because I wanted to be sure after the first chapter that I understood your intent with the characterization. I like Jeffrey a lot better than Summer, and I hope that he doesn't come around to her interpretation of Christianity as presented in Chapter 4. He has more honesty and sincerity in his little finger than she seems to have in her whole self--even when we see her the way she was when they first met. So if that isn't your intent, and she is going to "convert" him, then you may want to give your readers more of a reason to like her in those early chapters.

I like characters who are complex, neither wholly good nor wholly evil, and I think you're getting at that. I'm just not sure I'm seeing the characters as you intend your readers to see them. But that may be my personal bias from having grown up in a more conservative church and having made the decision to move to a more progressive church as an adult.

Christa

I’d heard in the last hour, the small part of the today that, try as I might, I couldn’t erase: (should that be,,,,,the small part of the day).....I read that sentence out loud.....It didnt sound right to me.....

(Just as ) a slew of names began to run through my head on a ticker tape,........you dont need 'just as'

“Are you alright?” I asked cautiously, and she didn’t respond..........you dont need 'and'

barista .......Is that the correct spelling....it isn't on the UK check....

C1
The way it opened didnt work for me....I attended a speech given by a Literary Agent....She said to open with dialogue is like sitting in the theatre, the play begins but the curtain does not rise.....The only person able to see the setting is the writer......Descibe the party, introduce Amanda & Summer, and then start the dialogue....

A televison programme no matter how interesting is boring without a picture....

Loved the story, great characterization......Best of luck with this...

Shelved....

Really enjoyed the read. It is polished, and intriguing. Love that you use first person POV for both MC, and use the time line as well. Excellent!

HJ
The Pearl Edda

Premise is good, very good. Nicely original, not too OTT but enough to roil the blood and challenge the reader. You;re writing seems spot on to me as well, and you turn the idea into reality here very nicely.

Andrew

You do have something brewing here. The last line of your prologue made that clear. Your first chapter introduced us to your two main characters. And over all sets up your story. Nice start. Makes one wonder what Summer has in mind. Get the impression that it's not good. Good luck on my shelf. C.P

A good start-- I'd be happy to read on as soon as you post more. Getting a place on my shelf now.

Reels you in immediately, well done