SEASONS

Seasons commences slowly with the father of the story, Paul Cush, describing his very boring life that includes frequent weather reports. Being written as a daily entry in a diary I felt there would be a lot more of the same to come. The novel picks up the pace with Sandra, Paul's wife, suddenly giving birth and Paul now finding more purpose and perspective to life. The good news for the reader is the introduction of the creepy Hungarian, Lamia, where the plot turns into a unearthly tale. Su, I think you've spun a clever story and I wish you much success. Best regards, Andrew Esposito

Su Dan
Seasons

I read the first three chapters, The Diary of Paul Cush. This is a slow but suspenseful build.

I enjoyed Paul's dry humour and the chilling conclusion of his story. He starts as a level-headed fellow, who loves his son. Unfortunate meeting with Lamia, his wife's mysterious friend, starts Paul's journey to madness and paranoia.

The characters are well drawn, except for Lamia, who comes off as a little bit of a caricature. She is not as scary or threatening as I would like her to be (especially in Chapter 3). But perhaps this is what the author intended.

Fresh hold = threshold?

All in all, a great read. Highly starred and backed.

Christine

Good book with an original story which deserves to be in the shops. I hope it continues to climb the rankings, and I also think it would make a good film or TV show.

great cover and teaser, can't wait to read.

ok, i have on the list to read, thanks for backing 'the age of aquarius' !

alan

I couldn't sleep last night, Su, spooked by a combination of reading your first two chapters yesterday and another book on this site. I've just read your third chapter. Phew! I don't normally read horror stories, but was impressed by your slow build-up, ratcheting up the scariness. It read like a Roald Dahl short story at the beginning, lulling the reader into a false sense of security with its cosy, mundane details of north London life. Then the Lamia ghost character becomes more and more disturbing. By the end of the third chapter, the atmosphere had built up in a crescendo of horror. Paul's soft-hearted personality makes the reader feel sympathy for him as he is gradually drawn deeper and deeper into this waking nightmare. When the font changes into the spiky font at the end of the chapter, as Paul becomes the vampire Pablo, that has a very creepy effect.
Just a few small points:-
"television" is lower case
"whatsoever", "eavesdrop", "nonetheless", "downstairs", "overhead", "weekend" are all one word
"in hindsight" (not "on")
The dialogue is generally very authentic, except for the passage with the Essex farmer speaking in a funny accent.
spelling - "in the throes of passion" (not "throws"); "half-caste"; "he did indeed possess a regal appearance" (not "poses"); "wooden stakes" (not "steaks"); "indulging in such practices"; "stained glass window"; "she has to learn to be more discreet" (not "discrete").
I don't know if I dare read on, but - well done!
Carol

Hi Su,
Starting to read your book you'd never think of Phantasy or something of the kind.Starts as a lovely Romance. Sandra, and Paul, Brenda and George, the birth of Jason...
Ch.2 is a U turn. We come to understand that Lamia is a thing of the other world, unknown and mysterious.We start to worry for the family. Step by step, line by line, the book turns more and more thrilling, engrossing.
High stars, my WL for now and my very best regards!
Valentine But
Escape

Good work here. At first sight I thought the format would not work but it moves the reading eye quickly and with ease, very enjoyable.

I like the structure and the date leaps, with days left out, creates a reality of structure and life reflection that guves the whole an embedded truth. The timbre of the writing is crafted and controlled and I am impressed by the tight hold and crafting...as soon as I have a space (ie. tomorrow hopefully) it will be up on my shelf...high stars too!

Seasons

Chapter 1: I like Paul and Sandra’s giving birth description. I am also introduced to Rastafarian movement. To my shame, it is the first time I learn of it.

Nice writing style: “I do not want to write this…I do not… here it is: I think my wife is having an affair!” It really shows Paul’s emotions at their peak.

Now, Paul’s transformation into Pablo… Have to tell you, my ex has the same name Paul and I wondered about your character from the beginning, thinking of my terrible past. Now that he is a monster: vampire, werewolf and shape shifter it makes more sense… Yet the human side prevails, and I am so happy, by the end of chapter 5 it is all over for Pablo and Lamia.

Few little things that caught my eyes, nothing big, though:
Chapter 1:
I want to let you know that dashes do not connect sentences, just words. You should use em-dash instead. For example, in the sentence “He told me the filthiest joke- I can’t even write it down” should be “He told me the filthiest joke—I can’t even write it down.”
Chapter 2:
In paragraph starting with “It’s a lovely place…” ‘costumers’ should be ‘customers’

Thank you for sharing your story,
Alexandra Mahanaim
Return to Eternity
Love story—symbolic approach to creation

Terrific stuff Su Dan, very engaging and surprising - not at all what I'd been expecting! I've only read Chapter 1 so far, and saw a number of my first impressions and predictions giving way to the twists that you keep providing. I think that's one of your greater strengths - putting seedlings in the reader's mind, and then taking them away with a whole new set of circumstances.

I liked how you carry off the staleness of their marriage, and how they've reached a point when even basic communication seems quite hard for them to accomplish. Sandra's friendship with Lamia, certainly at first, did puzzle me in how out of the blue it was, and what little explanation she provided. You might consider making the relationship feel more normal or casual at first, or give Sandra the ability to put her husband's mind at ease with his quite reasonable questions about who Lamia is etc. That said, there is a lot of mystery built in to the way it does unfold.

Also, I thought the Sandra-Lamia passages might benefit from a trimming down, as a couple of the diary entries seem to try and reinforce a tone that's come before - you've got a good rhythm for mystery, and it's just the tempo that could be sped up :-)

Overall, great so far. Will keep reading... for now, just backing !

Seasons – Chapters 1 -3

Interesting format here Su Dan. Borders on the tedious (without being unreadable) at first. Yet it banters along quite amiably. I think that’s the point though and so well done (and well edited too.) Interesting build towards the end though with a nice touch of mystery urging one to read on… and so I did. It becomes less of a diary and more of a retelling of the tale in chapter two. Not sure if this was your intention or if this was to make it easier to read than the diary format, but it does flow better. OK and now we get to the mystery woman and who knows what is going on now, but obviously you do! And now it becomes a real mystery, so well done again… patience is a virtue. Yet everything seems nice until you wallop us with a different pain – well played. Onto chapter 3 and we’ve gone in a different direction again and now this is becoming more and more fantasy than the first chapter, but eased in nicely without jarring at all. And now its frantic and sexual and horrifying all at once – well played again… the shelf begins to beckon!
Some notes on the text, feel free to ignore a picky old ex-English teacher, just writing as I see it and I’m by no means perfect!

Chapter 1:
Goswell road – should be Goswell Road
“music that sound the right way around” – cool line, I assume this is referring to the off beats in reggae.

Chapter 2:
Careful missing the comma before BUT
“Quiet powerful…” – should be QUITE powerful
“I’m going to bed, you Coming.” – Coming should be coming

Chapter 3:
Careful starting sentences with BUT – it is a conjunction and I know the rules have slipped, but the few times you use it like this, it would work perfectly as the conjunction it is meant to be.
“smooth slim creamy white” – a few commas missing here I think.
Shinning – should be shining

DJ
The Maia Calendar

Hi Su Dan, I wasn't expecting to like Seasons, that 'diary of a nobody' started out as drably as Paul saw himself, but my, then around the middle of chap 1 it grabbed me and wouldn't let go. Who is the mysterious Lamia? Is Sandra having an affair with her? I'll be finding out shortly when I come back to this. In the meantime, 6 stars for a very intriguing read!
Joe Kovacs
A Marriage made in Chemical Heaven
p.s. don't know how open you are to suggests, but the first couple of diary entries could profitably be lost. A more gripping hook opener for chap 1 might be 'It's coming, Paul!' Sandra announced out of the blue. 'What is?' I replied dreamily. I was watching a particularly scary TV movie. .(just a suggest, feel free to ignore)

Hello Su Dan,

Read a few chapters last night. It is an easy and enjoyable read, kept me interested and wanting to find out more. Good job.

Pino - Espresso & Sambuca, Insights to Happiness

I am loving this first chapter. You perfectly captured my own Christmas (the limbo phase). You attention to detail is excellent, as is the pace of your writing. You keep the reader locked in and leave them longing for more. I have a busy week currently at work, and so hopefully at the weekend i will be able to sink me teeth into the rest.
Well done.

Su,
Read chapters 5 and 6. The tension is building, which is great. Lamia hanging from the ceiling paints a vivid, frightening picture in the mind. My only niggle was the use of the word 'Limp' for how Sandra's eyes felt when she was tired; maybe 'heavy'? Or just dry and sore.
Well done.
Jane x

Hello! Great opening chapter. I like the MC (even though he admits he's quite dull). I especially like the book being a diary. It's a great way to get in the MC's head. Very clever! I wish I had more time to read more today. I'll definately get back to this. Can't wait to read the next chapter!! Well done.

Su,
sorry for taking so long to get back to you.
I read the first two chapters. Su, you have a wonderful way of dragging the reader into the story. Starting with this boring, average man, so much like everybody else you can't help sympathizing with him, then adding detail after detail till your reader finds himself hanging at the edge of his seat, chewing his fingernails and wondering how much longer poor Paul will survive. High stars indeed and on the watchlist to back when I have a free slot.

Now, for the quibbles...
First: there are some things rotten in your long pitch.
Why does she leave her husband? And baby alone while she is out doing who knows what? - maybe make that one sentence
But is all as it seems at home. - question mark
maybe the knife will come in handy. - capitalization
And: I've been told that readers might be put off by too many questions in the pitch. Don't know if it's true.

Chapter one:
You didn't capitalize the chapter's title.
10 January: I caught sight (of) the old couple...
18 January: ...I have realized there (is) a distance growing between Sandra and me
...she always arrives home from after me... - no from

Chapter two:
21 January: ...happy to leave her husband sleeping in my own mucus - his own mucus
11 February: ...we feel much close(r) again

All the best
Angelika

A thoroughly enjoyable romp with little twists and turns. I was a bit retiscent to read this at first but you draw the reader in swiftly. The characters are very 3 dimensional & easy to imagine. This is very well written & has oodles of commercial appeal. Have high starred & will back when I have space. Well done! :)

Su,
Really enjoyed the first couple of chapters. I like the way you have written this, in the form of a diary. it works very well. The only niggle for me in the first chapter was the fact that Sandra is called 'Mrs Cush' by the midwife. By the time one is in labour and giving birth midwives are invariably using a woman's first name. In the second chapter, Paul is visited by Lamia, in a dream, a truly creepy moment. And the wolf prowling outside is a nice touch.
A very promising story, Su. High stars from me and put on my WL to read further.
Jane x

Seasons Hi Su, I enjoyed reading this. I especially liked the part where Paul is watching a movie when Sandra tells him the baby is coming. Very true to life! I had the same thing happen to me.
You write really well, I couldn't see anything to critique and wish you the best of luck with this. Lin

Su, the short and long pitches drew me to watchlist 'Seasons', to read. The descriptions of all four seasons sound interesting. I was particulalrly drawn to Summer, which you have not included yet as a download.
I started in chapter 1, with the diary of Paul Cush. I have always been intrigued by using the four seasons as a backdrop to a book- having gleaned the interest from Sunset song - used in farming terms here, and starting with Spring.
The reluctant gift of a diary sets the starting point for Paul to record events, and in doing so bares his soul. I didn't particulalry like him in the beginning - laughing at the old couple falling - but through your skillful writing began to understnd him better. The story that unfolds is quite unexpected.The visualisation is very good.

Already high rated and no wonder. I will read on. The chapters are quite long so finished with chapter 3 - for now.

Some minor edits I spotted as I read.

Chapter 2= thinking it and tried to put out of my mind- something missing here.
the baby played = he played? also spacing here.
"Byr then, " she my wife - something missing here
its mi dad my dad?

High star from me.

Sheena
The Popish Plot

Su,
I chose to read 'Winter', The Diary of Sandra Cush. The story was quite unique, and the characters real. Descriptions were vivid, and the balance of dialog and narrative was very good. There are a few grammar items that need to be corrected, so some editing is needed. In one such instance you said 'the sun was about to set', when in fact you mean 'the sun is about to rise' (about 3/4 of the way through).

Each person I write a comment for, I recommend them reading any book on writing: by Sol Stein. He had a long career as an editor, and any of his three or four books on writing are worthwhile.
I give you high stars, and back your book.

Be well, and the best to you,
Jeff Prentice
Trumped by Secrets

There are some interesting observations here and some instances of character building. The pacing seems a bit off. I'm not into listing dates and events like a diary. It doesn't feel natural to me. And the detour into musical tastes while the wife is about to go into labor is odd.

I see you're trying to work in the mystery of his wife's behavior. I feel that this should be done in a way that's more jarring and in the reader's face. Start the novel in a place where his life begins changing.

Good start here. I'll back it.

Brian Bandell
Famous After Death / Mute

This is a very intriguing plot - I like it! It's very well written and you do an extraordinary job with the characterization. Wish I could read more! 6 stars!

S.C.

Hi Su, I really enjoyed reading Seasons. It is very well written, has fantastic hooks that keep the reader spellbound and you managed to give Paul a very believable voice. Lot's of starts.
When Paul is reading the newspaper, the article is quoting a witness in his local dialect, which is odd as this doesn't happen in newspapers.
In chapter 3, Paul writes in his diary whilst he is going through his transformation and uses the words, ha,ha, ha, which doesn't read genuine.
Last, I found the use of mi-mum and mi-dad irritating, but that might be only my personal opinion.
I agree with other comments that are unsure about the diary format, it makes it harder for you, but then most people do love to read other peoples diaries.

Hi Su, I really enjoyed reading Seasons. It is very well written, has fantastic hooks that keep the reader spellbound and you managed to give Paul a very believable voice. Lot's of starts.
When Paul is reading the newspaper, the article is quoting a witness in his local dialect, which is odd as this doesn't happen in newspapers.
In chapter 3, Paul writes in his diary whilst he is going through his transformation and uses the words, ha,ha, ha, which doesn't read genuine.
Last, I found the use of mi-mum and mi-dad irritating, but that might be only my personal opinion.
I agree with other comments that are unsure about the diary format, it makes it harder for you, but then most people do love to read other peoples diaries.

Comments on chapters 1-5.
Where to begin? It all starts very mundanely with the diary of Paul who is dull, irritating and fairly unlikeable. Fortunately his character tics make him amusing and entertaining. He gradually, sooooo gradually - seriously, how thick is he? - comes to the conclusion that his wife Sandra may be cheating on him. Then we meet freaky Eastern European wierdo Lamia and everything goes a bit mental. Anyone who knows their Keats and Stoker should work out what's going on fairly quickly. It's fun, over the top, and barking mad.
From an editing point of view there are some iffy spellings and missing words that a quick edit will sort out. My biggest issue is the choice of doing it as a diary. I'm not sure it works in places. For example, it really feels odd that, after witnessing what Sandra witnesses, she would sit down and write an extended rational diary entry about it. Switching characters' POV is fine, I'm just not sure about the diary format. Anyhoo, take it or leave it, everyone's taste is different.
On the upside it's fun and I'll definitely read the rest. Good luck with it.
Regards,
Dave
The Five Stones/The Dark Ride

I read the first two chapters and found it very entertaining. I found the storyline very believable. I loved the different characters. No comments on the editing as it is very well written. Well done. I'll be giving your book lots of stars.

Hi Su. Why do women have legs? I need to know. Really well written. Good luck. Eric (Fat Fairy). Backed and starred.

Hi Su,

Very interesting concept here with the Diary. This is creative, well-written, easy to read flow and very well-thought out. I liked it. I have only read chapter one but its very nicely written. I hope to get to more soon here. I wish you good luck with this and will have another read soon. Your on my WL and High Stars from me.

-Lyn
Forty-Four Footprints Following Me
-Surviving Manic Depression-My Story & The Real Truth on Managing It

Hi Su, I read the first 2 chapters. The story kept me in suspense, wanting to know where it leads to. Your writing is easy to follow. Must find out what Lamia is up to. Is she a werewolf? Find out later. In the meantime, I rated your book and put you on my watch list.
Back again, soon.
Brigitte
Living with Bi-Polar

Really engaging read with a nice insight into the person writing the diary. Well written and often the simplicity of it was what made it so poignant. Especially enjoyed the pace and it is most definitely a book you could enjoy to escape from everything else.
Will be highly starred and kept on my WL for another read.
Michelle

43 Primrose Avenue

SEASONS.
By Su Dan.


A really good read this, written in the form of a diary it comes across very nicely.
We are eavesdropping of course on the inhabitants of Finsbury Park and there’s some goings on I can tell you.
Many interesting characters make the book an enjoyable read and there are many questions as to why certain events are taking place. There’s plenty of humor running throughout the story with excellent description and dialogue. This would be an Ideal book for long train journey or bus for that matter.
It’s an absorbing read that would give cause for other passengers to query the smile on your face.
Such is the interest evoked by reading the book—I love it!
I already have a five star rating against it from when I last turned the pages.
I shall be backing it again soon…great writing!

Neville.
The secrets of the Forest (Series)-The Time Zone.
The secrets of the Forest (Series)-Cosmos 501.
One Off, Sir!

I've only had the chance to read the first two chapters (2/3 of the Diary of Paul Cush), but it's a very enjoyable read. The story flows very well; although it would benefit from a more thorough edit.

A few things struck me: The voice of your narrator seems... old. Or maybe he's just stuffy. I'm not sure.

Also - the diary format. I think it's a good concept, unfortunately you don't really play by the rules you've set for yourself. People have lengthy conversations, there is a verbatim newspaper article (this could perhaps be framed as a clipping that he's stuck in the diary to correct that) - the point is that it starts out reading very much like a diary, and then transitions as you go to sound more like a first person novella. The solution to that is to dispense with the diary idea altogether.. or do some major editing; understandably a daunting task.

If I had more time right now, I'd read more - the story has a nice slow build to it, and I'm intrigued, looking ahead to see that the story switches to Sandra's POV. I'll add it to my watchlist.

This is a wonderful story which is very creative in nature. I only read the first chapter but liked it. Great style, characters and flow of your words. I wish you the best of luck with it.

-Lyn
Forty-Four Footprints Following Me
Surviving Manic Depression My Story & The Real Truth on Managing It

Your novel flows too easily, I'm actually a bit jealous dear. I find you work to be a good read on a grungy afternoon. I love the fact that it's written so simply, but is pushed on the emphases of the average day man. I'll be backing for sure. I absolutely fell in love with your book and I will come across the last chapter later in the evening. Very high stars, I wish I could go beyond.

Best Of Wishes
A.D. Reid

Hi Su,

2 chapters in and I love the way you've approached this. The writing flows easily and the diary of day to day events lulls the reader into a false sense of calm. Paul's sense of frustration begins to show along with hints that there is worse to come - all the ingredients of a great horror story. High stars and will leave on my watchlist to dip into again.

All the best,

David

I've only read through the first chapter, but this is fantastic. I've always been a fan of short story collections and from the pitch this appears to be similar in scope. Your ability to capture a moment in a few short words is nothing short of amazing. This opening chapter, when you describe the birth, brought me back to the birth of my own children and all the emotions and energy that came about during that long process.
It's great stuff.
I'm adding you to my watchlist so I can get back and read more as time permits, but for now, high stars.

I read your first chapter, then I looked at the crits, especally the ones about your grammar. I didn't notice any problems, so I guess you fixed it. But I thought I would mention WhiteSmoke anyway. It's a great application, if you, like me, sometimes forget the odd punctuation mark. It's a great concept. I don't think the frontcover gives such a great book justice though :( going to give you lots of stars!

SEASONS

Loved: “Sandra unpacked, while I paced the room trying to relax. I failed.” It’s lines like this that make me feel so at home in this. Your observations are always poignant--just when you are caught in the mundane malaise of your character, you pop in an amazingly refreshing (and real) image, such as the Rastafarian. Hilarious. for some reason when I hit “Simon the midwife” I see Ben Stiller. Grandma telling Paul, “She could do a lot worse.” Ouch. Your juxtaposition of the laughter at Grandma Brenda’s and the cold ending here is stunning.

Noticed: “I cannot ignore the fact that she always arrives home from after me” (from work or remove?); “from her mothers’” (mother’s); Not sure on this one if it’s simply the style you’re after: “My son and me arrived home to an empty, cold, unwelcome house” (son and I or keep it as is--you’re the boss, of course! Do you want “unwelcome” here (as in, you don’t want to see it) or “unwelcoming” (as in, the house doesn’t embrace you?). I love your diction--it is very, very real to me.

Thanks for letting me read this. You are a very gifted writer, and I long to read more.

c. ross
So Much Depends

Su,
What a entertaining read. I always found books that relied on diary entries unimaginative, but you taught me otherwise. I saw everything that he wrote and it was wonderful. I liked that he had a sense of humor even while she was having a bady. 'why aren't male mid-wives called mid-husbands' I loved this line. I always thought that myself.
Great job and happy writing!
Tonya

HI Su:
I read this book over a year ago and enjoyed it. I have noticed some changes but overall it was still a very entertaining read. I've given it high stars and hope to get back and read more.
MC
Exposed

Hi Su,
I got to know of your book, thanks to you dropping by my page. a bigger thank you for putting it on your shelf.
I read the first chapter of your book, and even though my genre is more the "matrix", sci-fi kind of writing, I will say that you pulled me in from the start. The diary from what I read so far makes you want to go through it. I will return to read more. Mr Cush. He's the kind of guy who'd take you on a journey making fantasy seem real if he were to talk to you at a pub!

Wishing your book the very best.
Oh yeah. it's on my shelf.

Regards.
Dirrogate
(Memories With Maya)

Hi Su,

I've just read the first three chapters if your book 'Seasons,' and found it a real page-turner.

The story flowed well, and characters realistic.

I don't normally read fantasy, but I am experimenting reading it as i have noticed how popular the genre it.

I wondered what year 'The Diary of Paul Cush,' was? You mentioned Lamia driving an Austin Martin, and the 1970's type names of your characters and Paul's music indicates it is set in the 1980's?

I liked the way Paul Cush's diary began in a very uneventful man's life, to be gradually changed to fantasy surrounding his wife's friend, Lamia. I also wanted to send Paul on assertiveness training course.

The delivery scene with Sandra was convincing (I'm a midwife) if a bit sterio-typed. Perhaps George's jokes could be written in? I could look you up some from my joke book, if stuck.

I hope to read some more about Sandra's viewpoint of the situation.

Good luck with it,

Carol Jefferies
(Love for Lilian)
(A Prince Unboyed)
(A Kinsman's Chattel)

First off, I'd like to thank you for reading What the Elf, and for the lovely review. It was very much appreciated.

This was a fun read so far. I liked the writing and I thought it had a very personable tone to the voice. The characters were likeable and the concept was quite interesting and felt quite unique to me.
Very well done.

Mike
Arrival of the Ageless
What, the Elf?

Return review
Ch 1: At first, I wondered when this was set. It seemed a bit old fashioned, and the man seemed a bit detached from family life. His son is referred to as ‘poor little chap’ and his wife puts on ‘a lovely spread’ for X-mas dinner, since ‘she’s a good girl’. But in the 2:nd half of the chapter, I could see that he was very involved and that this was set in modern times. Do people still talk like that?

Para starting ‘later in the evening…’ ‘bringing his wife TUMBLING…’? or ‘and his wife tumbled’?

Little bit of repetition on the ‘not understanding Rastafarians/reggae’ topic.

18th Jan: ‘arrives home from after me’- needs rewording. ‘From her mother’s’ (not mothers’)

As the chapter ended, I was keen to find out what the wife was up to.
This was my favourite chapter.

Ch 2 : Second line ‘her husband to sleep in HIS own…’

I had expected this chapter to be written from Sandra’s point of view, so I was a bit disappointed that it was more of Paul, but I read on.

I thought that perhaps you spent a bit too long on the mysterious goings on with Lamia. We know quite early on that there’s something fishy going on, so it may be worth revealing the truth/cutting to the action a bit sooner? I still enjoyed the diary format though, and some bits are very entertaining and/or full of suspense, and feel like genuine, personal reflections.

Ch 3: I thought it odd that Paul invited Lamia in to the house and even odder that he got in to the car with her. Maybe elaborate on this a wee bit?

‘Affectively’ – do you mean ‘effectively’?

I wasn’t completely convinced by the paragraph dealing with him waking up and realising he’s undead, or the aftermath. You also talk of ‘wooden steaks’ – I think you mean stakes :) ‘stain glass window’ – should be ‘stained’.

Why did she leap through the windows anyway? Maybe more believable if Paul throws her, or if she falls?

‘I just wanted lay down and Jason in slumber land’ – needs rewording a bit.

Further down ‘build the great empire ‘ (instead of ‘built’)

Why did Lamia spend so long with Sandra – going for drinks or whatever they were doing? Could she not have turned the whole family into vampires much quicker given her powers? Could you perhaps include a chapter from Sandra’s point of view, to let us know what Lamia was up to with her, how they met etc?

I enjoyed reading this, and have given you a high star rating.
Jess

A different read with creative touches and verse to it.
You have a gift with words.
Fabo
Toni [Cavern of Time]

This is very different. Its written in exactly the sort of way a diary is written by an ordinary person who is bored of life generally. Oddly, it still held my attention, perhaps because I was expecting something to happen! No doubt something will but as I'm on holiday my husband will not be overly happy if I spent too long on Authonomy!! I always judge a book on the basis if whether I want to read on, and I did, so high stars and good luck!
Andrea
The de Amerley Affair

Hi,
I read the first three chapters. It's flows well and held my attention. Good job.
Gen

Su Dan,
I read the first three chapters and your story held my attention until I lost the general meaning of it. Your book is a fantasy thriller. I am used to a more serious attitude about life so I am not sure what to say about it. Your talent at imagery is good. Pictures of what was happening flashed before my eyes but seemed to have little deep meaning. Your book is very imaginative but needs to add meaning.
MaryBe