Book Jacket

 

rank 4347
word count 105715
date submitted 22.09.2009
date updated 18.10.2009
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Crime
classification: adult
complete

In The Eye of the Devil

Patrick P. Astre

Ex-cop protects the sister of a dead friend against a serial killer, deadly cults, gangsters and crooked cops, all seeking a legendary gem.

 

An ex-cop, tortured by his own demons, is hired to protect the sister of a dead friend finds gangsters, serial murderers, deadly African cults, corrupt law enforcement, all searching for a 3000 years old stolen gem with legendary powers. As the hunt ranges through upstate New York and Louisiana, he will find parts of the answers in his own twisted past and that of the woman he loves.

 
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tags

crime, crooked law officers, deadly cults, ex-cop, ex-marine, gangsters, murder, thriller

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13 comments

 

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grannimyrt wrote 441 days ago

You are an excellent writer. The descriptive sections are perfect. You need editing to tighten up the story line.....you have enough plot lines for a couple of books and the flow is a bit jagged at times but overall you have that Cajun stuff down cold....or hot , if you prefer. I'm not a writer (I so wish) but I know good writing when I see it and you have got the write stuff.

Andrew W. wrote 1645 days ago

In The Eye of the Devil

Hi Patrick,

This is good, solid thriller writing. You have a good handle on description and character and scene-setting. A character-based beginning with the hint of racism floating behind the character's thoughts is very well done. Professional level piece of writing. There is an ease of descriptive power in your writing, you drop out thoughtful adjectives that offer us a clear picture with a simplicity that you make look easy, I know it isn't. The only reason I can think that this book isn't rising higher in the charts is you cannot put in the read-review rate you need to to get an audience. A real shame, because this a great book and deserves to do well.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W.
(Sanctuary's Loss)

Charles Lamb wrote 1649 days ago

Hi Patrick,
It took a bit to get into the story but once there I enjoyed it. I think the main problem was the font you uploaded, not easy on the eyes, not mine anyway. You might want to think about another font, something that doesn't look like old typescript. Also, a minor point, but the long pitch could do with a bit of fleshing out.
Good luck with this, backed
Charles
Tambow

Kim Jewell wrote 1659 days ago

Hi Patrick!

I've got a friend that would love this book... Great opening to a crime thriller! Your descriptions are so vivid, I wonder if you've done research for the book or have lived some of this first hand in law enforcement of some kind... Either way, your writing is believable and I think this shows a lot of promise. Should appeal to a huge audience. I'm happy to back this one!

Kim
Invisible Justice

Patrick Astre wrote 1662 days ago

A flawed private investigator has a case in which he has a personal stake. This harkens us back to Phillip Marlowe, Sam Spade, Mike Hammer and the other great PI's of the 30s, 450s and 50s They were born and nurtured to maturity in the pulp magaznes of the great depression. This story aligns itself with work of the previous masters of this great genre and like those stories would make a great movie which moves under the classification of 'film noir'.Shelved



thank you Sheba, I appreciate the nice commets.
Warm regards,
Patrick Astre

Patrick Astre wrote 1664 days ago

Saw this was recommended by John. and it did not disappoint.
Your characters are not only believable but so completely dynamic that I found myself drawn to them.
Writing a character people can identify with is one of the hardest tasks.
So happy I stopped by.
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor
backed!



Thank you T.L. I appreciate your readings and nice comments.
Warm regards,
Patrick Astre

Patrick Astre wrote 1664 days ago

Cool. Definitely worthy of my backing. The characters are amazing, and there's nothing I love more than people with problems.



Thak you Isabelle, I appreciate your readings and nice comments.
Warm regards,
Patrick Astre

T.L Tyson wrote 1665 days ago

Saw this was recommended by John. and it did not disappoint.
Your characters are not only believable but so completely dynamic that I found myself drawn to them.
Writing a character people can identify with is one of the hardest tasks.
So happy I stopped by.
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor
backed!

Elvis McPherson wrote 1665 days ago

Good short pitch, okay on the long pitch but you might want to add a little bit more, as I think has been mentioned. The book itself is great. Good story, nice dialogue and it made me think of Angel Heart, which is a big plus in my mind! Happy to back this and best of luck.

Isabelle Adams wrote 1667 days ago

Cool. Definitely worthy of my backing. The characters are amazing, and there's nothing I love more than people with problems.

Patrick Astre wrote 1667 days ago

Thank you Simon. I'm new to the site and had a lot trouble posting. I think I've got the hang of it now, but it's very slow. I will be posting the rest of the novel i th enext few days, meanwhile I've got twelve chapters posted.
I look forward to your reviews and comments.
Warm regards,
Patrick Astre

What a great pitch Patrick! Absolutely love it and am looking forward to reading more! In the meantime I am happy to shelve it! Good luck here!
Simon (BLACK SHADOWS)

John Harold McCoy wrote 1668 days ago

Hi Patrick. Great pitch.. so far. I think it needs some more depth to pull in readers but the basics are there. The book begins beautifully. Writing is excellent and as the chapter progress, the story develops well. Your MC is interesting and well defined. The pitch promise a great story and so far (prologue and 4 chapters) it looks like it's going to deliver. I really like it. I see you have 11k words. I hope you finish it. On my shelf for sure.

Simon Swift wrote 1668 days ago

What a great pitch Patrick! Absolutely love it and am looking forward to reading more! In the meantime I am happy to shelve it! Good luck here!
Simon (BLACK SHADOWS)

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