Book Jacket

 

rank 3915
word count 125193
date submitted 29.09.2009
date updated 02.01.2011
genres: Literary Fiction
classification: universal
incomplete

Painted Lives

Craig Bassett

An out of the box tale that combines the magic of Big Fish with the mystical qualities of The Alchemist, all told by Mark Twain.

 

A compassionate spiritual journey brought to life by a very likable old southern gentleman, whose intuition and insight offer a fascinating stroll into a world of magic and mysticism. The narrator makes no apologies for his unique vernacular, which isn't particularly concerned with proper grammar, word usage and on occasion, even spelling. His whole intent is honesty, the loving and oftentimes brutal kind that can only come from one’s soul, which does not require applause or approval.

Come sit for a spell by the fire and relax, as the narrator takes you on a spellbinding journey, one that requires nothing from you, save for an open mind. Listen as his interwoven tales, stitched meticulously together by magic, create a tapestry of wonder.

Set in the mid-1800’s, along a quiet stretch of the Mississippi River, the narrator’s fortune changes when he is taken under the benevolent wing of a newly freed slave and mystical healer, who guides the boy to his true potential.

Each character the narrator runs into and every adventure he endures brings with it a spiritual message and life lesson that seems to be made for him alone, as he is groomed to fulfill his inevitable fate.

 
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tags

adventure story, fiction, fictional, heartfelt emotions, honest, inspirational, magic, mystical, narrative, out-of-the-box, spiritual, uplifting

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Chapters

8

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Into the Night

Meanwhile, back at The Event, after Tuni had rescued the three women she went into the house again, to face the swirlin’ wind and blindin’ light, to see what was happenin’ to her friend.  The old woman who was still fully aglow was chantin’ some type of prayer or song, in a tongue that Tuni couldn’t place.  The woman seemed to faintly recognize her little friend and tried to stand up, what sent rays of light and strong barbs of wind out into all directions, but for some reason, she was unable to get her legs to work properly.

Tuni shielded her eyes and eased towards the old woman through the swirlin’ wind, until she was close enough to grab her by the waist, so she could help her to stand.  The moment she touched the old woman, the wind stopped cold and a warm glow ran up her hands and arms, what soon passed into her whole body.  It was a good feelin’, what sent her mind into a soothin’ trance for a moment, before she was reminded of the dire situation they was in when she heard a terrible scream from outside.

Tuni helped her friend to stand, who she found was highly unsteady on her feet, then together they walked slowly towards the doorway where they was met by the cool night air and the faint sound of a horse’s hooves movin’ fast across the ground.  Not a word passed between the two, though somehow Tuni knowd exactly what she needed to do with the old woman. 

No sooner had they left the house, than up came the master’s favorite horse at full gallop, saddled and ready to go, what stopped hard in front of them.  The horse seemed to have been guided to that very spot and arrived not a moment too soon, as the old woman’s light was beginnin’ to fade and she was startin’ to feel cooler to the touch.  Tuni knowd that she only had a short time to get her friend to the Ancient Ones before it was too late. 

She stood holdin’ the old woman in her arms, wonderin’ how in the world she was goin’ to get up on that horse’s back, when the great beast did somethin’ so strange that it gave her pause to wonder if she was dreamin’.  The horse knelt down on its front legs, low enough to the ground that it allowed Tuni to wrestle the old woman onto its back.  Tuni then climbed up behind the old woman on the saddle, wrapped her arms around her friend, who was layin’ forward, with her head on the back of the horse’s neck.  She held on tight, ‘cause she knowd that one slip and the two of them could fall off the horse as soon as they began to ride.   

No sooner had Tuni tightened her grip on her friend, than did the horse tear out of there at a speed that could only be called reckless in the pitch blackness.  The horse must’ve been followin’ some invisible path for all Tuni could tell, but if her directions were still good, she realized that they was ridin’ to the south, what would lead them into the dense forest.  The horse rode on for a good spell, only pausin’ a couple of times to allow Tuni to adjust the old woman’s position on the saddle, when she slipped dangerously to one side. 

The old woman weren’t even aware by then that she was on the back of a horse, ‘cause she tried a couple of times to stand up, as she extended both of her hands to the heavens, almost like she was tryin’ to pull the stars down from the sky above.  The old woman began to chant louder and louder as they rode, until mercifully the horse came to a stop in an open clearin’ in the middle of the dense forest, in a place that Tuni had never been to. 

Soon there were many Ancient Ones appearin’ from all around them, two of which gently helped the old woman from the back of the horse and took her in the direction of what looked like a raised mound of earth near the center of the clearin’.  The night still shone no moon, but there was plenty of light to see, what Tuni found purely strange, ‘specially since it seemed like the grass and rocks was glowin’, almost like they was alive. 

The more she looked around the more confused she became, though at no point did she find the light fearful, instead, she’d found it to be truly beautiful, like standin’ in God’s magic.  Later she’d find out the why’s to her questions and many others from the Ancient Ones, but on that night, time was short and the old woman needed their help transferrin’ over from this world to the other. 

She was headin’ to the very same destination the Ancient Ones go to when they’re finished with their lives’ missions in this world, a place where the eternal souls reside, called the Shimmerin’ World.   Tuni didn’t really understand until much later, what the Ancient Ones meant by transferrin’ over, what they called naden nar, though she had a feelin’ that it was the movement of a person’s spirit from this world to the world of eternal souls. 

The Ancient Ones spoke only their native tongue, so it was hard sometimes for Tuni to knowd what they was tryin’ to explain, though over the years she came to understand them more completely.  Mostly in the beginnin’, the way she learned was to watch what they done and then follow their directions, though on more than a few occasions, she got to see the results but didn’t find out the how’s, until years later.  

That night they signaled her to take the horse and move to the back part of the clearin’ where she could still see, but wouldn’t interfere with their goin’s on.  Tuni watched as her friend was led to the raised mound, what she could see had a large smooth rock on top of it, which seemed out of place in the grass-covered clearin’, almost like it’d only just been set there by a pair of great and powerful hands. 

There was a good crowd of Ancient Ones in the clearin’, all watchin’ silently as the ceremony unfolded, what Tuni found highly interestin’, as well as excitin’ enough to have her heart beatin’ fast, though she weren’t sure why.  On top of the smooth stone sat the old woman, who seemed to have lost all of her light makin’ her look like a dark, nearly shapeless figure, almost like she’d already died. 

Tuni would’ve been highly concerned for her friend’s condition, if it weren’t for the two Ancient Ones that stood on either side of her and were lit by a golden-yellow light, what cast rays down upon the old woman.  The Ancient Ones on the rock began to chant a prayer or song, which was unfamiliar to Tuni, though she found it to be somewhat eerie and melodious, though kind to her ears. 

As she listened, she closed her eyes and soon an image came into her mind of a strange and wondrous place that was filled with shimmerin’ light and was beautiful beyond what she had words to describe.  Tuni could hear water runnin’, like the sound of a river and she could feel the spirits of all that lived there, both animals and people alike, what she understood completely in that brief moment.  It was almost like she was given a peek into the afterlife by God his self, ‘cause she could also feel his total and complete goodness, which was a part of everythin’. 

In Tuni’s story to Ernie, about the shimmerin’ world of light, what she’d told to him many times, she always ended the tale by sayin’ that that was where she was goin’ when she left this fine Earth.  She made a point of tellin’ Ernie that this was where we all went, what she described as goin’ home. 

I never quite understood what she meant by goin’ home, ‘cept that maybe that’s where she’d find her front porch, the place where she could sit a spell with her Maker and find out a thing or two about how things work. 

Course in the story Tuni told Ernie, she never mentioned a front porch, what got me to thinkin’ that maybe we all go to the place where we believe we’ll end up, like a shimmerin’ world or the like.  I don’t knowd exactly, but I do believe that if this was true, our Maker must be a powerful so-an-so to be able to make as many places as there are people.  Guess I just thought that everyone would be like me and want to sit on a big ole front porch and have a nice talk with God, but it weren’t the case for Tuni, since she was clear about goin’ to the world of shimmerin’ light. 

Durin’ the chantin’ process, Tuni noticed that the old woman’s dark shape seemed to have picked up a faint glow that extended outward from her body a little and appeared to send energy into her, givin’ her the strength to sit up straight and tall.  Her arms began to reach up to the heavens, just like she done before when they was on the back of the horse, what Tuni now found to make perfect sense. 

The two Ancient Ones that was standin’ on each side of the old woman, reached over at the same time and touched a finger to her forehead.  From that touch, there came a bright light that washed over everyone and sent the dark night into hidin’ for a twinklin’, what made Tuni cover her eyes, even though it turned out to be soothin’, like the golden rays of the settin’ sun.  

Whatever the Ancient Ones had done to her friend seemed to be good for her constitution, ‘cause she was able to find her way to her feet quickly, what left her standin’ upon the smooth rock like a dark statue.  The two Ancient Ones who’d touched her forehead moved away and as they did, they lost all of their light and soon disappeared into the night, seemingly without a trace. 

As her dear friend stood motionless upon the smooth rock, like some dark shape that was formed from the mud of the earth itself, she again raised her arms to plead to the heavens, what Tuni somehow understood was for deliverance from the bondage of her old and frail body. 

Tuni was spellbound by what she was witnessin’, like some wondrous dream, though she knowd in her heart that it was somethin’ far grander than she could possibly imagine.  As she watched with unblinkin’ eyes, what were frozen to the spectacle takin’ place in front of her, the whole of everythin’ she thought she knowd took a swift and mighty change.  She was left with a deep understandin’ of the majesty of our Maker, what would be her guide until her final day upon this fine Earth. 

As Tuni watched the old woman from afar, a strong wind came sweepin’ up to encircle her friend, seemingly from the ground itself, what blew her clothin’ and hair around, almost like she was standin’ in a great storm.  Strangely enough, everywhere else was completely calm, ‘cept for the occasional rustlin’ of the tall trees from the small breaths of air that traveled up from the river many miles away. 

The old woman seemed completely unaffected by the powerful gusts, no different than how Tuni had found her at the shack by the river, only this time it felt much more powerful, what was sendin’ chills up her spine.  From the old woman’s dark shape came streaks of light, what the swirlin’ wind seemed to be pullin’ right out of her body, like gold-colored lightnin’ that shot wildly into the night sky. 

In the moments to follow, as Tuni watched in complete awe, the old woman slowly lowered her arms to her sides, what strangely seemed to subdue the lightnin’ and wind, until they came to a stop altogether and brought on a deafenin’ calm that rested heavily upon the darkness.  It was so profound that Tuni found her self coverin’ her ears, though she had no explanation for why she felt the need to block out the silence.   

For a spell it was hard to see the old woman’s form as she blended into the dark night, but that soon changed as a tiny point of bright light appeared at the top of her head, like a beacon of gold.  Slowly the light moved downward, almost like her flesh and clothin’ was bein’ peeled away, until all that was left of the old woman’s shape was a dark mass sittin’ on the stone.  What Tuni had seen, she would later describe to Ernie as some kind of birth, where the old is cast aside and the new begins its life again. 

From where Tuni was standin’ in the clearin’, she could plainly see the glowin’ form of her friend floatin’ above the stone, though it was clearly not the old woman’s frail body.  It was that of a beautiful woman, the same one she’d traveled the forest with at night, in all her youthful splendor.  She was lean with an agile body that seemed to be charged with energy, which was both powerful and beautiful all at the same time. 

What happened next, Ernie had a difficult time explainin’ to me ‘cause his momma was hard pressed to put words to it, save that what she saw that fateful night brought about a joy inside her that left a sweet mark on her soul for the rest of her days. 

It seems that her friend’s young glowin’ form began to expand outward, like a shimmerin’ cloud, until it slowly exploded into what looked like an endless stream of fireflies that covered the night sky.  The tiny points of light floated outward in all directions, one of which even found its way to Tuni, until they came to rest in all that there was and is.  The old woman had returned home again to be a part of the forest, the animals, the people, the sky and the earth. 

The last thing what Ernie said to me, still floats around in my mind like the wings of angels for its pure goodness.  He looked into my eyes and said that we was all connected to each other with a little piece of the endless light, what comes from our Maker.  We is all equal in that way, ‘cause no one has their own light, it’s all part of the vast light of God, what runs through everythin’.  Ernie sure had a special way of makin’ me feel good about the ways of our Maker and the story he told me weren’t no different, no how.    

For some reason, it made me think of the fireworks, what I’ve seen on special occasions, whose light disappears slowly outward like small stars that twinkle and fade in the evenin’ sky.  I couldn’t help thinkin’ about the kindness of the old woman, who wanted Tuni to see for her self the majesty of our Maker, what wouldn’t have been possible without the help of the Ancient Ones. 

When I first heard the story about the old woman, I was just a youngin, but its impact on me was profound, ‘cause it left a vivid and lastin’ picture in my mind for the beauty and grace that lies inside each one of us.   Some folks who I tell this story to say that it all sounds like a bunch of hogwash or the like, what I’ve come to find a little sad for how they’ve closed up their minds and hearts to the wonders of this world.  I suppose that’s alright for them, but for me, ‘specially from what I’ve seen of the Ancient Ones, I have no doubt that my friend’s story is true, ‘specially since I ain’t never heard Ernie tell a lie in his whole life. 

Tuni couldn’t recollect just how she’d gotten back to the Plantation, though she remembered puttin’ the Frenchman’s mare back into his barn.  The only thing she knowd for sure was that when she awoke, she was in her house lyin’ next to her momma and papa, which felt awfully good, ‘specially after all the goin’s on of that fateful night.  After she got some of the sleep to leave her mind, she sat up and looked at her sleepin’ parents who was peacefully restin’, what brought the whole of all she’d just seen and experienced back to her. 

She thought about the kindness of the old woman and her friends the Ancient Ones, what was overwhelmin’ to her for their goodness, which left her weepin’, one of the only times she ever cried in her whole life.  Her momma heard her quiet sobs and asked her why she was cryin’, to which Tuni said that she was happy, powerful happy.  Tuni had seen the endin’ to the story of her life, what she’d found beautiful beyond words, which she knowd was a sacred gift from the Ancient Ones, somethin’ that would guide her journey on this fine Earth from that day forward. 

Tuni’s momma took her little girl in her arms and rocked her, as she sang a sweet song, until the sun decided to wake up on what would be a highly restless mornin’.  The wind must not have had a good night’s sleep, ‘cause in the mornin’, when that pesky light got into its eyes it awoke in a bitter mood.

The dawn had started to stir like a child wakin’ from a bad dream, as the whole farm was bein’ tossed this way and that from the cold gusty wind, which for some reason had no effect on little Tuni.  She just walked around singin’ and talkin’ to her self most of the day, just like it was a warm spring afternoon. 

As for the Frenchman and the rest of the clay people on the Plantation, it’d prove to be a most unpleasant day, as the rumors about the old woman began to spread, paintin’ a scary and tragic picture of her end.  The Frenchman, who just after dawn had been thrown into a fence post was restin’ in his home, while the three remainin’ women what lived in the shack by the river had finally made their way out of the woods and up to the Plantation. 

There was some cryin’ and screamin’ as the tormented women began to tell their nightmarish story of the old woman, whose fiery end came while she rode upon the back of the Frenchman’s horse.  Since she was never found, many folks thought she was burnt to ashes in the woods, while others thought that maybe it was the fire of hell that had come for her, though strangely, no one could explain how the horse had escaped without so much as a single singed hair upon its body.

Through it all Tuni was unmoved, ‘cause she was already standin’ with one foot in the Shimmerin’ World, a place that gave her great peace, as she felt without a shadow of doubt that it would be her final destination.  Course no one knowd the full truth, save for Tuni, who’d keep her secret hidden in her heart until many years later, when her son was old enough to be told about her wondrous adventures.

Her life had been forever changed by somethin’ that happened in a clearin’ far from her home on a dark moonless night, where the wonder of God had touched her heart with its lovin’ goodness.  The joy and love she felt from that glorious night, was the very thing that Tuni tried to give to everyone she came across from that day forward, what attracted many folks to her, like a moth to a light.  

 

Chapters

8

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Manolya wrote 1169 days ago

Oh gosh Craig, where do I start with your book?
I love your pitch and all its promises the reader, 'Come sit for a spell by the fire and relax...'
Sit by the fire- sit anywhere you like, because this book is truly special and a real treat to come across.

It is deliciously written as in I want to savour each line and enjoy the moment of just sitting down and pouring over the pages. I love the southern accent and can just visualise this book as a movie with the characters being brought to life.

I hope it isn't too long before this book is snapped up by an agent and published so that others will be able to enjoy the richness of the story.

This book is a classic in the making and will be read for years to come- a must have!
Backed with great pleasure!!!

I hope 2010 is a great year for you & your book.

Warm regards,
Manolya- love in No-man's land

Callaghan Grant wrote 1190 days ago

This is fantastic. Fantasic writing. Fantastic premise. Fantastic insights. I applaud you and shall go out of my way to send you reads from time to time as this work deserves a place on the Ed's desk and in bookcases across the world.

Loving, appreciative regards, Callaghan (The Shouting Tree)

Jared wrote 1195 days ago

A very clever premise, many unusual touches, this is a book I shall remember for a long time. I started to make notes while reading, but was swept away with the story and after seven chapters I'd only written the word "clever". Actually I wrote it twice and clever it certainly is. I loved the easy-going conversational tone of the narrative, the sharply drawn characters and the sheer "difference" of your writing style. I'm a big fan. Backed, absolutely.
Jared.

Thomas J. Winton wrote 1194 days ago

Craig, the fact that "Painted Lives" isn't near the top of Authonomy's rankings, and that it has almost no backings, gives serious pause to the workings of this site. So often books that are mediocre (at best) are up there only because of the author's chicanery. You obviously haven't marketed your exceptional work here -- I may be wrong but I don't think that type of activity is you're forte. This is surely one of the finest pieces or work I've read in my two months on this site. If this doesn't get published, with all the sensationalist junk out there that has, something is seriously wrong with today's reading public. Well...I take that back, you and I both know that's already a reality. Get those queries out, Craig. There's surely a publisher out there waiting for it. Backed.
Thomas J Winton
"Beyond Nostalgia"

Adam Thurstman wrote 321 days ago

billetem wrote 1 day ago

A work of pure genius. Adam De-Thurstman writes better than Mark Twain. This is a masterpiece which needs to be published immediately. Some might ask: how can anyone promote such a book, a book written by an author who claims to be the real Adam - the real Adam, you know, as in the real Adam and the real Eve? He also claims to be Elijah. How can one promote such a book from such an author? The author is sincere. It's not satire. It's not a caricature. It is also great literature. He might be right or wrong about a few of his extraordinary claims, but the man is nevertheless a virtuoso artist working in prose.

Pia wrote 870 days ago

Hi Craig, maybe you pick this up. Please have a look in your message box, thanks. Pia

mvw888 wrote 880 days ago

Wonderful voice; happy to revisit this.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

GK Stritch wrote 992 days ago

Dear Craig Bassett,

"All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. All American writing comes from that. There was nothing before. There has been nothing as good since." Ernest Hemingway captures it, doesn't he?

Best and backed. Good work with Painted Lives.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

memphisgirl wrote 1004 days ago

Love your narrator, love the language. Reading this felt like home.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

klouholmes wrote 1036 days ago

Hi Craig, This is written vernacular that is easy to follow. And the story flows like folktale. The bear artifact and the boy’s wondering why the Ancient Ones would choose him is ensnaring. Liked the setting and the synopsis promising of more learning about mysticism in the forest. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

CraigD wrote 1086 days ago

I like the tone of this a lot. I also like the dialect, but you have to be careful to maintain it consistently (particularly if you're going to invoke Twain), and also not put words in the boy's mouth that he might not reasonably know. But your narrative is very attractive, and the writing supports it well. I'm happy to back this for you.
Please consider taking a look at my book, The Job.
Craig

name falied moderation wrote 1087 days ago

This a a magical book L O V E D it and will keep it on my WL. Your words conjure up the era and setting and take the reader on a journey of mysticism. I am shleving this book BACKED for sure. WILL be in the bookstroes at some time and will buy it. Please keep writing and plugging this book. I would be so pleased if you could read some of my work, non-fiction and magical in its way, as I could learn so much from you. BACKED with pleasure

eloraine wrote 1095 days ago

Well written and wonderful. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

SusieGulick wrote 1099 days ago

Dear Craig, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "backed" your book, I will also put your book on my "watchlist." Could you please take a moment to "back" my completed unedited memoir version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which at the end tells of my illness now & 6th abusive marriage. I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy.

SusieGulick wrote 1099 days ago

Dear Craig, I love that you have brought alive the 1800s in the South - it's like I was right there along with you as you told your tales. :) My daughter-in-law is from Memphis. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

zan wrote 1118 days ago

Painted Lives
Craig Bassett

Craig,
I must say, your pitches spoke to me - once I'd read that you'd weaved into this "the mystical qualities of The Alchemist" I was sold. I think I am Coelho's most dedicated fan! His works are spellbinding to me and his messages speak to me in a very profound way, as yours here does. I simply love this piece of yours and I can see Coelho's influence here. I am so happy to have found this. Coelho has also influenced my own writings. I look forward to seeing this beautiful piece of yours published and available in bookshops everywhere. I am a fan of yours already. I feel close to your writing - and I accept this statement you write here, "On more than a few occasions, God's magic seemed like a real person to me." I feel the same way. I know this site is daunting, and seems more like a madhouse at the moment than a writer's site, but I hope you will continue to make this fantastic piece of work visible here so that it can be spotted by an agent/publisher. I love the idea of this gift from the legacy of Lars and his encounter with the Aracunias, the prophecy and that fateful meeting creating a link that tied the past to the future. So inventive, this plot of yours. And that door opening for your narrator to be accepted by the Ancient Ones. Your ending at this second chapter, "It all began when I was just a youngin, what started a friendship between us that ended many years later, but not before they'd showed me many incredible things, which to this day I still find truly magical" is magical in itself - and I want to continue reading so very much but I have a ton of papers staring at me which I have to deal with now - but I will return to read more. This reads like "magical realism" to me, one of my favourite vein's of literary fiction. What more can I say but that I love and admire your writing, and I sincerely wish you success in getting this published.
Best,
Zan

Jed Oliver wrote 1136 days ago

Your writing is marvelously entrancing! This is truly wonderful stuff, and I wish you the very best with it. Backed. Best regards, Jedward (Knut)

Beval wrote 1137 days ago

I liked this.
I'm not sure what else to say, sometimes a book just does this to you, its like meeting friend, you like them, you're not sure why, but they give you a feeling of comfort.
I like this book.

lionel25 wrote 1148 days ago

Craig, the prologue and first chapter read well. I like the narrative voice. Nothing to nitpick in these two sections. Good job overall.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Sheila Belshaw wrote 1152 days ago

PAINTED LIVES:

Craig,

I love the conversational tone of this work. So natural and so connecting. It appeals to all the senses.

I love writers who dare to go out of the box. Sometimes we are too confined by rules. You can't do this. That's not allowed . . . etc. But like all branches of art, writing must grow and evolve, and somebody has to start the trend. You have done just that. This could become a classic.

Backed with admiration,
Sheila (Pinpoint)

snickerdoddle wrote 1153 days ago

Unlike anything I have read in a long time. Just getting started good but i certianly plan on continuing my read. Backed and thanks.Karen

Alan Dean wrote 1154 days ago

Craig,
Interesting and unusual premise with many nice features. A bit slow for my read, but may be appropriate to the easygoing tone of the story.
Nice engaging legend, conflict and description.
Backed.
Alan

Jo Ellis wrote 1160 days ago

This is something totally different for me to read but I'm glad I've read part of this.

A fascinating, clever story is what I found here. Highly original with a strong fresh narrative which promises to take us on a interesting journey.

Though not my thing, I can appreciate excellent writing.

Good luck

Jo xx

Spoilt

Cully wrote 1160 days ago

In the prologue, it may me less intrusive if you just left out the apostrophe's when doing the colloquialism.

Chapter 1
I think shorter sentences will be more powerful. As this is currently written, each sentence, when you provide more information, gets a little lengthy and cumbersome. Try taking one sentence and making it two and see how that sounds to you read aloud.

I want to get into the book faster. What you have currently up front may work later on in the chapter or even in the book, but right now I want to feel more immediacy--not saying like a pop-fic novel but I just want to be grabbed by the collar a little more right up front. I commented on another book in here that it reminded me of the Watson Legend in Peter Mathiesson's Shadow Country--and your book does too. Take a peek at it--you'll see what I mean. In that book there is a lot of the background info like you have, but the reader is already invested early on because of the protagonist's penchant for violence.

Cully

Famlavan wrote 1161 days ago

You have an amazing voice that creates a great style. This is so well written, fantastic characterisation and you create a sense of being in the story – very, very good!

DP Walker wrote 1162 days ago

Hi Craig
A really original book with some great characters. I think this has a lot of potential.
DP Walker
Five dares

Raymond Nickford wrote 1162 days ago

Painted Lives:

Craig,

The dialect of the narrator is certainly needed and lends great plausibility and conviction to the account of childhood and maturity alongside the Mississippi river in the early 1800's.

So much legend, romance and even conflict surrounds that area, not least the sadness of those whose lives were subject or enslaved so that, to a Brit, there is a special mystique when set in the early nineteenth century and from the viewpoint of one of the idigenous folk.
I wanted to learn more of 'the real Ancient Ones' and the 'strange gift' and wanted - but didn't need - to read chapter 3 to know that I was in the hands of an author who had the integrity and patience to paint the truest portrait he could of a period and place that fascinated him and is infectious for the reader.
Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

blueboy wrote 1162 days ago

i backed you because i think your writing deserves to be back. you have a good voice and tone, and the story telling flows intuitively, though there are some roughs spot. i think you will do well with this. please read soem of my book, The Age of Rhinestone, when you have time. feedback is welcome. take care and good luck with yourmanuscript. ttyl

Burgio wrote 1163 days ago

The pitch for this story invites a reader to sit down and leisurely enjoy this - and that's exactly what happened when I started to read this. Love the vernacular of the narrator. Enjoyed the pace that seems slow and languid but still carries the story forward. Fits the Mississippi background. A good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

David Nicol wrote 1164 days ago

Craig
I hope this novel does well. It is written in a very evocative style.
I especially like the use of vernacular, though I wonder about using so many apostrophes in verb endings, such as doin', tryin', etc and others, eg somethin'. It may seem risky, but I think most readers would soon get used to seeing the words simply as doin, tryin, somethin, etc. And that way the text would not be peppered with apostrophes. Less cluttered maybe. Just a thought. And it may well come down to matter of house style for a publisher any way.
All the best
David

Wilma1 wrote 1166 days ago

An endearing start I warm to your characters and want to learn their fate. Excellent
Knowing Liam Riley
Sue Mackender

David Fearnhead wrote 1168 days ago

There is just something about the Southern Voice which just lends itself to good storytelling.
This is clever writing in that I heard the voice, the accent came through, but it came through as authentic.
I found your prose very poetic, you certainly know how to paint an image with words.
I have to say and in no ways is this a criticism but this would make a fantastic audio book. Get the right actor to voice it and I'd gladly listen to this as I laid out in the sun all day.
Backed,
David
Bailey of the Saints

Burgio wrote 1168 days ago

I love this kind of book that takes a reader back in time to a particular time and place. The narrator's twang made reading this really enjoyable. Backed.

Manolya wrote 1169 days ago

Oh gosh Craig, where do I start with your book?
I love your pitch and all its promises the reader, 'Come sit for a spell by the fire and relax...'
Sit by the fire- sit anywhere you like, because this book is truly special and a real treat to come across.

It is deliciously written as in I want to savour each line and enjoy the moment of just sitting down and pouring over the pages. I love the southern accent and can just visualise this book as a movie with the characters being brought to life.

I hope it isn't too long before this book is snapped up by an agent and published so that others will be able to enjoy the richness of the story.

This book is a classic in the making and will be read for years to come- a must have!
Backed with great pleasure!!!

I hope 2010 is a great year for you & your book.

Warm regards,
Manolya- love in No-man's land

lizjrnm wrote 1169 days ago

There are few books here where I go past the third chapter but this I could put down - you write beautiful descriptive prose. BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

C.C.McKinnon wrote 1169 days ago

I don't have much to say. This is a very good story, a strong hook at the end of the first chapter and beautiful characterisation. Well done.

Francesco wrote 1170 days ago


Thanks to some very perceptive criticisms on this site (thank you Authonomites!) I am, at present, in the process of a major rewrite and don't have time for individualized comments.
If you are reading this it means I have read the first couple of chapters of your book and think it is worthy of my support. My training is in the visual arts so I can't really help with the 'nuts & bolts' but if you would like to know what I really liked about your work, just send me a message and as soon as I can I will get back to you.
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of my work) for a further read of your book

Tim Hawken wrote 1170 days ago

You have some great themes in here. Well written with a solid and believable voice, which gives a strong sense of character.

Fatalistic, philosophical and inspirational.

Well done.

Tim H
Hellbound

AlanMarling wrote 1171 days ago

Dear Craig Bassett,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Lars the Lightning Hunter sounds like my kind of chap. I skipped to chapter seven to cover less-traveled ground and was rewarded by “Before dawn shown its angry face to the world”. That phrase tickled me. Tuni sees a house in the dark night with a light on, so bright in comparison that it seems on fire. The scene feels almost surreal as Tuni leads frightened women from the corners of the house of light. I’m glad you portray the Frenchmen as unable to ride fast on the dark night. He sees a burning apparition ride away with his horse. Your word choice draws me into the time period, such as “plumb lost her mind” and “away in a twinkling”. Interesting that Tuni believed her man loved her and her babe, even though he left.

In my fallible opinion, you could make your long pitch more gripping by focusing on the negative. Currently, you mention who the boy must be guided to his potential and other good things. I’d be more worried for him if instead you told me all he stands to lose if he fails to learn as he undergoes his spiritual journey.

I enjoyed the tale. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

missyfleming_22 wrote 1171 days ago

Brilliant! I wish I had more to say but that is the word that comes to mind. Brilliant, I really liked this.

Missy

K.Z. Freeman wrote 1174 days ago

solid writing, seems like a decent enough story, not really for me though, and whats with all the fulfillin', fadin' and sayin' 's ? heh

RichardBard wrote 1179 days ago

This is a truly brilliant original piece of work—the sort of book I would like to place this on my real bookshelf at home. A reader can’t help but love the narrator. The writing flows as smooth as a twig on the surface of the Mississippi. Congratulations. Backed.

PatriciaF wrote 1179 days ago

Dear Craig,
I believe that a story in order to be a great one should have characters that left some kind of trace, something that make the readers be attached to them. And this happened to me in this book. A mother’s love, her responsibility towards her children, the innocence of the kids that live happily in a really sad moment, among others, are feelings that I felt part of it. War is like the scythe of humanity and passing through it without being cut can only be done if you are kid. The magic of the moon creates the enigmatic moment where the ancient ones appear in a boy’s life. Love how the events go in Mississipi river and the charming way of writing. Backed with all pleasure.
Patty.
(Animalstories)

Helena wrote 1180 days ago

Hi Craig, this really is original. I love the narrators voice, brilliant dialect and really made the whole thing feel very intimate. I love the prologue about Lars and the Aracunias and the stone and then you bring them in again in the second chapter with the boy, really imaginative and had me intrigued. I wish I had time to read as as I really do rate this story and your unique style and writing flare. Brilliant and on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

udasmaan wrote 1180 days ago

Fascintaing. i only read your prologue. it is going to make a fantastic story. your pace is well ballancedd. who am i to comment actually, i have the worst english in this site. but i love and enjoy the book doee not give trouble with pace (like yours) and not using millions of unnecessary words that I would not understand anyway. baked

shah

Skip Ball wrote 1181 days ago

Craig, You've done an incredible job of spinning a tale of wonder through the eyes of a child. You show his values, his respect for the 'clay people' (wonderful imagery) as well as a balance of good and evil in every human heart. Your ability to stay in character and explain things the way a child would is what makes this story an immediate classic. Its the ability of your child eyes to see and feel all the wonder and mystery of this world with a clear demarcation of good and evil. This gives your character life. You tell the story just as a child would, giving a stream of information that explains the mystery. Craig, this tells me much about you. I wish my childhood had been more unbiased and full of wonder. I'm pleased to back this book. Skip Ball 'Stronghold'

Bradley Wind wrote 1181 days ago

Craig,
Cover: Well done.
Pitches: Short=ooh, like the sound of that. Long=something didactic...interesting.
Text: and by the end of 1, who isn't fascinated to see what this egg shaped stone could be?!
Wow, the voice in this is so well conceived. So fully realized...
One can't help but wonder how much of this is drawn from your real biography...full of magic and wonder.
best of luck Craig!!
-=Bradley

Dawn DeRemer wrote 1183 days ago

Hi Craig, today seems to be my day for surprise reading. Your book reads like Mark Twain meets J.R.R Tolkien. Not that it's full of elves and dwarfs, but that it has a lovely undertone of soul touching magic about it. I love your narrator, but I did find my self wishing you'd taken a paragraph in the first chapter to add your vision of his age and appearance so I would have had a complete visage.
Excellent work!
Dawn De Remer

lynn clayton wrote 1184 days ago

Craig, if I didn't know about Authonomy, and someone asked me to read this book, I'd think it was by a great famous writer I hadn't come across before. There are many students of creative writing courses on here who would, and probably will, chant at you the meaningless mantra 'show not tell'. But this is not a play, it's a novel, the narrator speaking directly to the reader one of its classic forms - literally telling. And you do it with the best. No matter what writers think, this is what readers want and I hope you'll get the chance to give it to them. Backed. Lynn

Noel-Allen wrote 1184 days ago

Hi Craig,

I liked the 'at-home' easy-going rhythm of the narration; added to the location, it had the feel of something like Huckleberry Finn.

I was wondering if you had considered using 'in the moment' dialogue to complement the narrative style.

CarolynJ wrote 1188 days ago

The voice is so strong in this that the scenes, events and feelings are almost palpable at times. You are a true storyteller and the writing a delight to read - or, rather, to hear. Backed with pleasure, Carolyn.

Francis Albert McGrath wrote 1189 days ago

Craig
I read 1-3. I think there is a conflict between wanting to use dialect (talkin', 'cause, 'em) to reflect the simple nature of the narrator (like Huck Finn) and the complex events he is relating (relatin'). If you think about it, there is no need to use dialect. It achieves no additional effect, other than drawing unnecessary attention to itself. Get rid of the dialent and you have a powerful book. You could still use words like "pappy"... that's allowed!
That's my advice as an unbiased reader! The story is powerful and moves along well.
If you take my advice, message me when it's redone and I will read more.
Frank

MickR wrote 1189 days ago

Craig,
I see the quality of the writing, and an interesting premise.
You have a likeable MC.
I wasn't however completely drawn in as the accent of the narration wasn't something I think I could sit through for the length of the novel.
This is jsut my personal preferrence and absolutely not any fault of the work.
I am backing it for the quality I mentioned above.
MickR - The NIghtcrawler

John Adamson wrote 1190 days ago

Craig
I enjoyed the first three chapters and, you are a good writer and it flows just right, I'm not going to compeat with the big build ups, I backed your book becose I liked it and I have no nit-picks. It was I pleasure to read,
Good luck,
John- Foxley Manor

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