Book Jacket

 

rank 3921
word count 125193
date submitted 29.09.2009
date updated 02.01.2011
genres: Literary Fiction
classification: universal
incomplete

Painted Lives

Craig Bassett

An out of the box tale that combines the magic of Big Fish with the mystical qualities of The Alchemist, all told by Mark Twain.

 

A compassionate spiritual journey brought to life by a very likable old southern gentleman, whose intuition and insight offer a fascinating stroll into a world of magic and mysticism. The narrator makes no apologies for his unique vernacular, which isn't particularly concerned with proper grammar, word usage and on occasion, even spelling. His whole intent is honesty, the loving and oftentimes brutal kind that can only come from one’s soul, which does not require applause or approval.

Come sit for a spell by the fire and relax, as the narrator takes you on a spellbinding journey, one that requires nothing from you, save for an open mind. Listen as his interwoven tales, stitched meticulously together by magic, create a tapestry of wonder.

Set in the mid-1800’s, along a quiet stretch of the Mississippi River, the narrator’s fortune changes when he is taken under the benevolent wing of a newly freed slave and mystical healer, who guides the boy to his true potential.

Each character the narrator runs into and every adventure he endures brings with it a spiritual message and life lesson that seems to be made for him alone, as he is groomed to fulfill his inevitable fate.

 
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tags

adventure story, fiction, fictional, heartfelt emotions, honest, inspirational, magic, mystical, narrative, out-of-the-box, spiritual, uplifting

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Chapters

47

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Love Comes Callin'

Time is a fickle creature, bestowin’ kindness upon some, while ravagin’ others, but when it came to a certain little girl who had turned into a woman, it was most assuredly sweet.  I’m talkin’ about Henrietta, who showed up out of the blue a few years later, when she came to Watson with her momma to visit a friend. 

I was walkin’ down the street when she came waltzin’ off the stagecoach like a beautiful peacock.  She was all ladylike, holdin’ a fan that she used to cover her face, so as to act a bit shy, which was the style back then.  Her dress was made of a flowin’ type of cloth what shone in the sunlight and had a pattern of colors that appealed kindly to the eyes.  This time I couldn’t call her a little girl, ‘cause she was definitely not a little girl, but she weren’t a full woman either. 

Somewhere in between there’s a place where little girls and women are separated by time and life, a place where the true beauty that will come to pass has shown its face, for the good or bad.  In the case of Henrietta, she was more beautiful than she was as a little girl.  She had long black hair braided down her back, with skin that looked smooth and clear, what I imagined would feel like silk.  Her eyes seemed to have become more almond shaped, with long lashes, but what I noticed most was her smile, which showed perfect ivory teeth.  She was more womanly shaped than when I saw her last, which didn’t hurt her appearance no how

I couldn’t wait to get home and tell Willy, but for some reason, I paused to look one last time at her as she walked with her momma to the hotel.  Before she disappeared through the doors, she stopped for a moment and looked in my direction.  Our eyes met and were mysteriously bound together, what caught me by surprise, ‘cause it stirred somethin’ inside me that I hadn’t knowd was there. 

She remained standin’ outside the hotel lookin’ at me, but before I could get my self clear headed enough to walk over and say somethin’, her momma called to her.  For a twinklin’ she seemed unable to break her gaze from me, but upon her momma’s second call, she turned sharply and disappeared inside.

I think that was the first time she noticed me and though I couldn’t speak for her, that short twinklin’ of my life I spent lookin’ into her beautiful eyes was one of the most enjoyable moments I’d ever spent.  Now instead of wantin’ to run home to tell Willy about his long lost love, my mind was clouded with new found feelin’s what I didn’t want to share.  I knowd this was goin’ to be a big problem, so I went to Ernie’s to tell him what had just happened and to seek his advice. 

Ernie listened to my story and was silent for a long spell before he told me somethin’, what I think was the only time I was ever angry at him for anythin’.  He looked into my eyes and said that if the girl, which was what he called Henrietta, was meant for me, then I had to give her time to test the waters of love. 

I weren’t sure what he meant, so I asked him what I should do and he told me somethin’ I weren’t ready to hear.  He said that I needed to stay out of the love business or I’d be messin’ with a bee’s nest and it’d only end with all three of us bein’ angry at each other. 

I knowd he was right like always, but my heart was stung by what he’d said and it stirred up a whole pile of anger inside me, what I found nearly overwhelmin’.  I was leavin’ with a heavy heart, what Ernie must’ve sensed, ‘cause he put a hand on my shoulder and told me not to worry. 

He said that love had an interestin’ way of comin’ back to where it was supposed to be, what might require a good dose of patience.  That part was reassurin’, but when Ernie said that love liked to take its own sweet time, I didn’t want to hear another word, ‘cause it all sounded so hopeless.  I nodded my head, since I figured if I said anythin’ in that moment it might start my anger up or worse yet, it could bring on some tears. 

I felt like I’d lost a great battle to an army I never even had a chance to fight, what is far worse than takin’ a good lickin’.  My walk home was filled with angry shouts, tears and an overall feelin’ of utter defeat, but mercifully by the time I got near our house, I had calmed down a great deal.  

Willy’s eyes burned bright with the news and he asked me many times to describe Henrietta to him, each time makin’ me pause as I told him about her almond-shaped brown eyes with the long eyelashes.  I don’t need to tell you how tiresome it was to describe her eyes over and over again, but in the end it did seem to help me, ‘cause her face what was etched in my mind did seem to fade a little. 

To Willy’s benefit, time had been good to him also, as he’d growd tall in the years since her last visit, with a strong jaw and blue eyes, what matched the late afternoon sky.  He was still just a boy, somewhere in that twilight before manhood, but he was smart and knowd a great deal about many things, which I found highly interestin’, ‘specially when he explained the details.  This time I was certain that Willy would end up with the girl, but fate was a strange animal and just when you think it’s goin’ one way, it up and goes the other, just to be ornery or the like.

I can’t say that Gully had fallen far behind as he’d growd ‘cause that would be a straight out lie.  He’d found his likin’s around the river and spent a great deal of time workin’ in the shipyard, which was a good place for a boy to become a man.  He had hair what looked like the sun had reached out and streaked its fingers through his brown locks, makin’ them all a warm yellowish color, which seemed to match his eyes what were a kind of golden brown. 

He weren’t as tall as Willy, but he had a good sturdy build and a kind face what was easy to look at.  Best thing about Gully was his carefree spirit, what was always gleeful and full of energy.  He was quick witted and could come up with a story what was apt to get a good laughin’ jag started at anytime. 

They was different as night and day in their temperament, as Willy kept more to his self, but he was also deeply determined and could tell a story with as much detail as any man I’ve ever heard, bar none.  He liked to laugh like the rest of us, but he preferred to be more serious about things, what was good for his desires in life, that bein’ his interest to become a man of the law. 

Things started off good for Willy as he was the first to see Henrietta and have a talk with her at the saloon.  They was a mighty handsome couple and probably could’ve been good for each other, if it hadn’t been for Gully, who after seein’ Henrietta again, said that he was goin’ to marry her. 

Course he was foolin’, but plainly he was goin’ to put up a good struggle to gain her affection.  I believe that Henrietta would’ve been happy to choose both of her suitors, ‘cause each had his own interests and desires, what made them engagin’ to be around, but in the end only one would prevail. 

As I remember, Gully took Henrietta out on one of the ships he was workin’ on so she could see the Mississippi first hand, which set well with her, ‘cause she fell in love with that ole river almost right away.  Willy on the other hand got his self into writin’ poems, some of which he read to me. 

I found them to be quite charmin’ with  their richly decorated thoughts and words, what left the reader feelin’ a little light headed in a good sort of way.  Willy had a way with words and his poems and writin’s were difficult to put to rest, at least for me, ‘cause I found them to be powerful reminders of the sweetness of life and the beauty of romance. 

I’m sorry to say that when he lost his self to the lies and deceit of greedy men, he burned many of his poems ‘cause he said they were inspired by a dubious and sinister weakness of the mind.   Please don’t ask me what that all meant, ‘cause much of his clear mind seemed to give way to a new kind of thinkin’, what made no real sense to me.  No matter, I loved my little brother and wanted him to find his own path in life, but all the same, I was hopin’ that his path would lead to somethin’ better than it did.

In the final days of Henrietta’s visit to our town she seemed to find the company of Willy preferable to that of Gully, which gave my little brother a glow that couldn’t be denied.  I do believe that Willy would’ve asked that girl to be ingaged, if the powerful events what shook Gully’s life hadn’t taken place. 

Gully was still tryin’ to get Henrietta’s attention in all ways possible, some of which were workin’ better than others.  Gully was big on flowers and picnics next to the river, walks in the moonlight, but he weren’t a writer of poems, which didn’t help Henrietta to knowd his heart.  I think that she secretly liked Gully ‘cause of his light-hearted spirit, but she couldn’t deny the way she felt around Willy and his poems. 

Late one afternoon the telegraph man lit out of his shed and made his way to Gully’s house in search of his momma, ‘cause he’d received a telegram with news that would change their lives in an instant.  The telegram read that a ship carryin’ three hundred and forty passengers had sunk as it traveled from England to New York

The ship was three days out at sea and went down at night, on Wednesday the 21st, due to a fire on board.  Two hundred and eighty-four people died.  It said that Mr. Gulliver Alexander Stewart I was one of the casualties and that none of his personal belongin’s was recovered. 

When Mrs. Stewart read the news she ‘mediately fainted and had to be carried by the telegraph man to her bed, where she stayed for over a month.  Gully heard the news from his momma who tried to be strong for her only son, but her grief was so bitter that she nearly died on the spot by tellin’ him.  It was powerful bad news for a boy to lose his father and even worse for the way it happened. 

Everybody takes on grief in their own way and Gully had found that bein’ out in the woods, ‘specially at night seemed to ease his pain some.  He told me that sittin’ in front of a fire by the river had a calmin’ effect on his heart, what he said felt like it’d been scalded in boilin’ water and hurt every time it beat in his chest. 

I had never knowd pain so intense as what Gully described, so I couldn’t tell him what to do to get over it.  I just listened as he told me the dream that he’d had about his father, where in the end, his pappy, who was strugglin’ for his life in a cold, dark sea had called out to Gully sayin’ that he loved him. 

The dream that Gully had seen all those years ago had come to pass and bad as it was for him, the vision did seem to give him comfort that no one else could, ‘cept for his dyin’ father.  I think the dream was somethin’ that his father had given to Gully so he’d always knowd that he was loved, what worked in a gentle way to help my friend get better the more he thought about it. 

I remember when Gully had first seen the dream, what clearly didn’t appear to be much of a gift at the time, but after what happened to his father, the message it contained was far beyond any worldly riches I could think of.  In some strange and unexplainable way, a message from a dyin’ father was sent back in time to find a place to rest in the heart of his son, so he could be comforted durin’ his bouts of grief. 

I don’t spect most folks would believe a dream like that could even happen, but for me, after havin’ witnessed a good many truly remarkable things in my life, it all fit nicely into my mind and heart.  I suppose it really only makes sense to the people what got a mind to see the mysteries of this fine Earth and aren’t afraid to take a peek into the world that lies beyond.  Ernie and Henry T. taught me a load of things what don’t seem to fit in to the world of man, but they do just the same. 

The last time I saw Henry T. he did a magic show for a few of us youngins and some adults, what made one woman faint and another take her child away ‘cause she said the magic was unholy, whatever that meant.  I knowd why she took away her child, ‘cause there was no explainin’ what Henry did and she was plum afraid of anythin’ that she couldn’t understand.  Most folks are like that, which I find sad, since they’s missin’ a goodly amount of the fun in this life, and in my opinion, they’s also turnin’ their backs on some of the goodness that God is tryin’ to show ‘em.  

News spread fast that Gully had lost his father, until it finally reached the ears of someone who’d also lost hers.  One afternoon Henrietta came to me and asked if I’d find Gully for her, ‘cause she wanted to have a talk with him, which I done. 

I led her to the river where Gully was spendin’ his time, when he weren’t home tendin’ to his ailin’ momma.  When we came upon him he was sittin’ lookin’ out over the great expanse of movin’ water, what was reflectin’ the late afternoon sun in a golden colored hue.  Me and Henrietta stopped short, ‘cause I could hear him cryin’ to his self and I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of the lady. 

She gave me a look that said why is we stoppin’, to which I whispered to her that Gully was cryin’.  Her eyes lowered and I could see that they was fillin’ with tears also, what nearly made my heart break as I saw how beautiful her compassion was for my sad friend.  For some reason he turned at that very moment, though I don’t think it was from hearin’ us.  I believe it was ‘cause he could feel Henrietta reachin’ out to him with her love. 

Gully was surprised and a little embarrassed, but mostly he was happy to be seein’ her again, ‘specially in his time of sadness and need.  She ran up to him and put her arms around him, which set off a wave of emotions from each of them. 

I couldn’t watch as they embraced, ‘cause the truth was, my heart was painin’ me plenty as I found that I wanted to be the one holdin’ Henrietta in my arms.  I turned quickly and began to head back to town, listenin’ as I walked, until the sound of their tears faded into the songs of the forest. 

Walkin’ through the woods gave me some comfort and soon I’d shaken the thoughts about holdin’ Henrietta out of my head, but there was somethin’ that couldn’t be shook loose, what was the news I had for Willy.  On the one hand I was powerful happy for Gully, since he had someone to share his grief with, but on the other hand, my little brother’s heart was headed for a ship wreck.  

For a good spell I thought about bein’ a stowaway on a ship headed north for a few days, at least until all this love business was over with, but Willy was my brother and he needed to hear the news.  There just weren’t no way around it either, as much as I didn’t want to be the feller to deliver the somber details, I wanted him to hear it from me first, not through the grapevine.  

I caught up to Willy at home and the two of us went out for a spell so I could tell him private like, in case he had an attack of cryin’.  He just stood there listenin’ to me with his jaw all tightened up and his back held straight, while he looked into the distance.  If I didn’t knowd better, I’d say that he was doin’ his best to block it out of his mind right then and there, as fast as he was hearin’ it.  I’ll never really knowd for sure, ‘cause that was the last time he ever talked about it with me. 

Willy could have been tore up inside, but strangely he showed no emotion that night, nor over the next few days, or even when Henrietta left.  One thing was clear though, Willy’s crashed romance had stirred in him a determination to become a man of the law what couldn’t be extinguished by love lost or it seemed anythin’ else. 

  When the day came for Henrietta to leave with her momma, she was fit to be tied with all her cryin’, ‘specially when Gully gave her a hug and said his last goodbyes.  He was fightin’ back tears, though it looked like he weren’t goin’ to be winnin’ that battle for long.  As the stagecoach drove away, I could see her hand outstretched, wavin’ to him as they rode off, what must’ve been twistin’ his heart terribly, since it weren’t even healed from the loss of his pappy. 

Gully stood on that stagecoach platform for sometime after they left and finally turned and ran off into the woods, in the direction of the river.  Tried as I could to avoid it, I was still in the middle of everythin’, ‘cause I had me a brother what was all closed up and serious and now a friend all torn up inside from the love he felt over Henrietta.  It was at that moment when I began to understand what Ernie had told me, concernin’ gettin’ in the middle between Gully and Willy, though I’ll tell you truthfully, my heart pained me terrible for many days after she left. 

From where I was sittin’ none of it looked altogether too good.  Either way there was a goodly amount of emotions what were ragin’ around inside of each of ‘em, and for that matter, me also.  I weren’t sure how I felt about Henrietta, or what to do about Willy or Gully, all I knowd was that it seemed like all those strong and uncontrollable feelin’s came to rest heavy in our fragile hearts. 

              I do believe that when Willy lost Henrietta, somethin’ changed inside him that I couldn’t quite put my head to understandin’, but it was big and deep and it left him a different person, someone I hadn’t met before.  The new Willy was different alright and from my thinkin’, it weren’t for the good, though I don’t think anyone else really saw the change, not until years later when it was too late. 

 

Chapters

47

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Manolya wrote 1174 days ago

Oh gosh Craig, where do I start with your book?
I love your pitch and all its promises the reader, 'Come sit for a spell by the fire and relax...'
Sit by the fire- sit anywhere you like, because this book is truly special and a real treat to come across.

It is deliciously written as in I want to savour each line and enjoy the moment of just sitting down and pouring over the pages. I love the southern accent and can just visualise this book as a movie with the characters being brought to life.

I hope it isn't too long before this book is snapped up by an agent and published so that others will be able to enjoy the richness of the story.

This book is a classic in the making and will be read for years to come- a must have!
Backed with great pleasure!!!

I hope 2010 is a great year for you & your book.

Warm regards,
Manolya- love in No-man's land

Callaghan Grant wrote 1195 days ago

This is fantastic. Fantasic writing. Fantastic premise. Fantastic insights. I applaud you and shall go out of my way to send you reads from time to time as this work deserves a place on the Ed's desk and in bookcases across the world.

Loving, appreciative regards, Callaghan (The Shouting Tree)

Jared wrote 1199 days ago

A very clever premise, many unusual touches, this is a book I shall remember for a long time. I started to make notes while reading, but was swept away with the story and after seven chapters I'd only written the word "clever". Actually I wrote it twice and clever it certainly is. I loved the easy-going conversational tone of the narrative, the sharply drawn characters and the sheer "difference" of your writing style. I'm a big fan. Backed, absolutely.
Jared.

Thomas J. Winton wrote 1199 days ago

Craig, the fact that "Painted Lives" isn't near the top of Authonomy's rankings, and that it has almost no backings, gives serious pause to the workings of this site. So often books that are mediocre (at best) are up there only because of the author's chicanery. You obviously haven't marketed your exceptional work here -- I may be wrong but I don't think that type of activity is you're forte. This is surely one of the finest pieces or work I've read in my two months on this site. If this doesn't get published, with all the sensationalist junk out there that has, something is seriously wrong with today's reading public. Well...I take that back, you and I both know that's already a reality. Get those queries out, Craig. There's surely a publisher out there waiting for it. Backed.
Thomas J Winton
"Beyond Nostalgia"

Adam Thurstman wrote 325 days ago

billetem wrote 1 day ago

A work of pure genius. Adam De-Thurstman writes better than Mark Twain. This is a masterpiece which needs to be published immediately. Some might ask: how can anyone promote such a book, a book written by an author who claims to be the real Adam - the real Adam, you know, as in the real Adam and the real Eve? He also claims to be Elijah. How can one promote such a book from such an author? The author is sincere. It's not satire. It's not a caricature. It is also great literature. He might be right or wrong about a few of his extraordinary claims, but the man is nevertheless a virtuoso artist working in prose.

Pia wrote 875 days ago

Hi Craig, maybe you pick this up. Please have a look in your message box, thanks. Pia

mvw888 wrote 885 days ago

Wonderful voice; happy to revisit this.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

GK Stritch wrote 997 days ago

Dear Craig Bassett,

"All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. All American writing comes from that. There was nothing before. There has been nothing as good since." Ernest Hemingway captures it, doesn't he?

Best and backed. Good work with Painted Lives.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

memphisgirl wrote 1009 days ago

Love your narrator, love the language. Reading this felt like home.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

klouholmes wrote 1041 days ago

Hi Craig, This is written vernacular that is easy to follow. And the story flows like folktale. The bear artifact and the boy’s wondering why the Ancient Ones would choose him is ensnaring. Liked the setting and the synopsis promising of more learning about mysticism in the forest. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

CraigD wrote 1091 days ago

I like the tone of this a lot. I also like the dialect, but you have to be careful to maintain it consistently (particularly if you're going to invoke Twain), and also not put words in the boy's mouth that he might not reasonably know. But your narrative is very attractive, and the writing supports it well. I'm happy to back this for you.
Please consider taking a look at my book, The Job.
Craig

name falied moderation wrote 1092 days ago

This a a magical book L O V E D it and will keep it on my WL. Your words conjure up the era and setting and take the reader on a journey of mysticism. I am shleving this book BACKED for sure. WILL be in the bookstroes at some time and will buy it. Please keep writing and plugging this book. I would be so pleased if you could read some of my work, non-fiction and magical in its way, as I could learn so much from you. BACKED with pleasure

eloraine wrote 1100 days ago

Well written and wonderful. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

SusieGulick wrote 1104 days ago

Dear Craig, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "backed" your book, I will also put your book on my "watchlist." Could you please take a moment to "back" my completed unedited memoir version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which at the end tells of my illness now & 6th abusive marriage. I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy.

SusieGulick wrote 1104 days ago

Dear Craig, I love that you have brought alive the 1800s in the South - it's like I was right there along with you as you told your tales. :) My daughter-in-law is from Memphis. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

zan wrote 1123 days ago

Painted Lives
Craig Bassett

Craig,
I must say, your pitches spoke to me - once I'd read that you'd weaved into this "the mystical qualities of The Alchemist" I was sold. I think I am Coelho's most dedicated fan! His works are spellbinding to me and his messages speak to me in a very profound way, as yours here does. I simply love this piece of yours and I can see Coelho's influence here. I am so happy to have found this. Coelho has also influenced my own writings. I look forward to seeing this beautiful piece of yours published and available in bookshops everywhere. I am a fan of yours already. I feel close to your writing - and I accept this statement you write here, "On more than a few occasions, God's magic seemed like a real person to me." I feel the same way. I know this site is daunting, and seems more like a madhouse at the moment than a writer's site, but I hope you will continue to make this fantastic piece of work visible here so that it can be spotted by an agent/publisher. I love the idea of this gift from the legacy of Lars and his encounter with the Aracunias, the prophecy and that fateful meeting creating a link that tied the past to the future. So inventive, this plot of yours. And that door opening for your narrator to be accepted by the Ancient Ones. Your ending at this second chapter, "It all began when I was just a youngin, what started a friendship between us that ended many years later, but not before they'd showed me many incredible things, which to this day I still find truly magical" is magical in itself - and I want to continue reading so very much but I have a ton of papers staring at me which I have to deal with now - but I will return to read more. This reads like "magical realism" to me, one of my favourite vein's of literary fiction. What more can I say but that I love and admire your writing, and I sincerely wish you success in getting this published.
Best,
Zan

Jed Oliver wrote 1141 days ago

Your writing is marvelously entrancing! This is truly wonderful stuff, and I wish you the very best with it. Backed. Best regards, Jedward (Knut)

Beval wrote 1141 days ago

I liked this.
I'm not sure what else to say, sometimes a book just does this to you, its like meeting friend, you like them, you're not sure why, but they give you a feeling of comfort.
I like this book.

lionel25 wrote 1153 days ago

Craig, the prologue and first chapter read well. I like the narrative voice. Nothing to nitpick in these two sections. Good job overall.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Sheila Belshaw wrote 1157 days ago

PAINTED LIVES:

Craig,

I love the conversational tone of this work. So natural and so connecting. It appeals to all the senses.

I love writers who dare to go out of the box. Sometimes we are too confined by rules. You can't do this. That's not allowed . . . etc. But like all branches of art, writing must grow and evolve, and somebody has to start the trend. You have done just that. This could become a classic.

Backed with admiration,
Sheila (Pinpoint)

snickerdoddle wrote 1158 days ago

Unlike anything I have read in a long time. Just getting started good but i certianly plan on continuing my read. Backed and thanks.Karen

Alan Dean wrote 1159 days ago

Craig,
Interesting and unusual premise with many nice features. A bit slow for my read, but may be appropriate to the easygoing tone of the story.
Nice engaging legend, conflict and description.
Backed.
Alan

Jo Ellis wrote 1165 days ago

This is something totally different for me to read but I'm glad I've read part of this.

A fascinating, clever story is what I found here. Highly original with a strong fresh narrative which promises to take us on a interesting journey.

Though not my thing, I can appreciate excellent writing.

Good luck

Jo xx

Spoilt

Cully wrote 1165 days ago

In the prologue, it may me less intrusive if you just left out the apostrophe's when doing the colloquialism.

Chapter 1
I think shorter sentences will be more powerful. As this is currently written, each sentence, when you provide more information, gets a little lengthy and cumbersome. Try taking one sentence and making it two and see how that sounds to you read aloud.

I want to get into the book faster. What you have currently up front may work later on in the chapter or even in the book, but right now I want to feel more immediacy--not saying like a pop-fic novel but I just want to be grabbed by the collar a little more right up front. I commented on another book in here that it reminded me of the Watson Legend in Peter Mathiesson's Shadow Country--and your book does too. Take a peek at it--you'll see what I mean. In that book there is a lot of the background info like you have, but the reader is already invested early on because of the protagonist's penchant for violence.

Cully

Famlavan wrote 1166 days ago

You have an amazing voice that creates a great style. This is so well written, fantastic characterisation and you create a sense of being in the story – very, very good!

DP Walker wrote 1167 days ago

Hi Craig
A really original book with some great characters. I think this has a lot of potential.
DP Walker
Five dares

Raymond Nickford wrote 1167 days ago

Painted Lives:

Craig,

The dialect of the narrator is certainly needed and lends great plausibility and conviction to the account of childhood and maturity alongside the Mississippi river in the early 1800's.

So much legend, romance and even conflict surrounds that area, not least the sadness of those whose lives were subject or enslaved so that, to a Brit, there is a special mystique when set in the early nineteenth century and from the viewpoint of one of the idigenous folk.
I wanted to learn more of 'the real Ancient Ones' and the 'strange gift' and wanted - but didn't need - to read chapter 3 to know that I was in the hands of an author who had the integrity and patience to paint the truest portrait he could of a period and place that fascinated him and is infectious for the reader.
Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

blueboy wrote 1167 days ago

i backed you because i think your writing deserves to be back. you have a good voice and tone, and the story telling flows intuitively, though there are some roughs spot. i think you will do well with this. please read soem of my book, The Age of Rhinestone, when you have time. feedback is welcome. take care and good luck with yourmanuscript. ttyl

Burgio wrote 1167 days ago

The pitch for this story invites a reader to sit down and leisurely enjoy this - and that's exactly what happened when I started to read this. Love the vernacular of the narrator. Enjoyed the pace that seems slow and languid but still carries the story forward. Fits the Mississippi background. A good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

David Nicol wrote 1169 days ago

Craig
I hope this novel does well. It is written in a very evocative style.
I especially like the use of vernacular, though I wonder about using so many apostrophes in verb endings, such as doin', tryin', etc and others, eg somethin'. It may seem risky, but I think most readers would soon get used to seeing the words simply as doin, tryin, somethin, etc. And that way the text would not be peppered with apostrophes. Less cluttered maybe. Just a thought. And it may well come down to matter of house style for a publisher any way.
All the best
David

Wilma1 wrote 1171 days ago

An endearing start I warm to your characters and want to learn their fate. Excellent
Knowing Liam Riley
Sue Mackender

David Fearnhead wrote 1173 days ago

There is just something about the Southern Voice which just lends itself to good storytelling.
This is clever writing in that I heard the voice, the accent came through, but it came through as authentic.
I found your prose very poetic, you certainly know how to paint an image with words.
I have to say and in no ways is this a criticism but this would make a fantastic audio book. Get the right actor to voice it and I'd gladly listen to this as I laid out in the sun all day.
Backed,
David
Bailey of the Saints

Burgio wrote 1173 days ago

I love this kind of book that takes a reader back in time to a particular time and place. The narrator's twang made reading this really enjoyable. Backed.

Manolya wrote 1174 days ago

Oh gosh Craig, where do I start with your book?
I love your pitch and all its promises the reader, 'Come sit for a spell by the fire and relax...'
Sit by the fire- sit anywhere you like, because this book is truly special and a real treat to come across.

It is deliciously written as in I want to savour each line and enjoy the moment of just sitting down and pouring over the pages. I love the southern accent and can just visualise this book as a movie with the characters being brought to life.

I hope it isn't too long before this book is snapped up by an agent and published so that others will be able to enjoy the richness of the story.

This book is a classic in the making and will be read for years to come- a must have!
Backed with great pleasure!!!

I hope 2010 is a great year for you & your book.

Warm regards,
Manolya- love in No-man's land

lizjrnm wrote 1174 days ago

There are few books here where I go past the third chapter but this I could put down - you write beautiful descriptive prose. BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

C.C.McKinnon wrote 1174 days ago

I don't have much to say. This is a very good story, a strong hook at the end of the first chapter and beautiful characterisation. Well done.

Francesco wrote 1175 days ago


Thanks to some very perceptive criticisms on this site (thank you Authonomites!) I am, at present, in the process of a major rewrite and don't have time for individualized comments.
If you are reading this it means I have read the first couple of chapters of your book and think it is worthy of my support. My training is in the visual arts so I can't really help with the 'nuts & bolts' but if you would like to know what I really liked about your work, just send me a message and as soon as I can I will get back to you.
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of my work) for a further read of your book

Tim Hawken wrote 1175 days ago

You have some great themes in here. Well written with a solid and believable voice, which gives a strong sense of character.

Fatalistic, philosophical and inspirational.

Well done.

Tim H
Hellbound

AlanMarling wrote 1176 days ago

Dear Craig Bassett,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Lars the Lightning Hunter sounds like my kind of chap. I skipped to chapter seven to cover less-traveled ground and was rewarded by “Before dawn shown its angry face to the world”. That phrase tickled me. Tuni sees a house in the dark night with a light on, so bright in comparison that it seems on fire. The scene feels almost surreal as Tuni leads frightened women from the corners of the house of light. I’m glad you portray the Frenchmen as unable to ride fast on the dark night. He sees a burning apparition ride away with his horse. Your word choice draws me into the time period, such as “plumb lost her mind” and “away in a twinkling”. Interesting that Tuni believed her man loved her and her babe, even though he left.

In my fallible opinion, you could make your long pitch more gripping by focusing on the negative. Currently, you mention who the boy must be guided to his potential and other good things. I’d be more worried for him if instead you told me all he stands to lose if he fails to learn as he undergoes his spiritual journey.

I enjoyed the tale. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

missyfleming_22 wrote 1176 days ago

Brilliant! I wish I had more to say but that is the word that comes to mind. Brilliant, I really liked this.

Missy

K.Z. Freeman wrote 1179 days ago

solid writing, seems like a decent enough story, not really for me though, and whats with all the fulfillin', fadin' and sayin' 's ? heh

RichardBard wrote 1184 days ago

This is a truly brilliant original piece of work—the sort of book I would like to place this on my real bookshelf at home. A reader can’t help but love the narrator. The writing flows as smooth as a twig on the surface of the Mississippi. Congratulations. Backed.

PatriciaF wrote 1184 days ago

Dear Craig,
I believe that a story in order to be a great one should have characters that left some kind of trace, something that make the readers be attached to them. And this happened to me in this book. A mother’s love, her responsibility towards her children, the innocence of the kids that live happily in a really sad moment, among others, are feelings that I felt part of it. War is like the scythe of humanity and passing through it without being cut can only be done if you are kid. The magic of the moon creates the enigmatic moment where the ancient ones appear in a boy’s life. Love how the events go in Mississipi river and the charming way of writing. Backed with all pleasure.
Patty.
(Animalstories)

Helena wrote 1185 days ago

Hi Craig, this really is original. I love the narrators voice, brilliant dialect and really made the whole thing feel very intimate. I love the prologue about Lars and the Aracunias and the stone and then you bring them in again in the second chapter with the boy, really imaginative and had me intrigued. I wish I had time to read as as I really do rate this story and your unique style and writing flare. Brilliant and on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

udasmaan wrote 1185 days ago

Fascintaing. i only read your prologue. it is going to make a fantastic story. your pace is well ballancedd. who am i to comment actually, i have the worst english in this site. but i love and enjoy the book doee not give trouble with pace (like yours) and not using millions of unnecessary words that I would not understand anyway. baked

shah

Skip Ball wrote 1186 days ago

Craig, You've done an incredible job of spinning a tale of wonder through the eyes of a child. You show his values, his respect for the 'clay people' (wonderful imagery) as well as a balance of good and evil in every human heart. Your ability to stay in character and explain things the way a child would is what makes this story an immediate classic. Its the ability of your child eyes to see and feel all the wonder and mystery of this world with a clear demarcation of good and evil. This gives your character life. You tell the story just as a child would, giving a stream of information that explains the mystery. Craig, this tells me much about you. I wish my childhood had been more unbiased and full of wonder. I'm pleased to back this book. Skip Ball 'Stronghold'

Bradley Wind wrote 1186 days ago

Craig,
Cover: Well done.
Pitches: Short=ooh, like the sound of that. Long=something didactic...interesting.
Text: and by the end of 1, who isn't fascinated to see what this egg shaped stone could be?!
Wow, the voice in this is so well conceived. So fully realized...
One can't help but wonder how much of this is drawn from your real biography...full of magic and wonder.
best of luck Craig!!
-=Bradley

Dawn DeRemer wrote 1188 days ago

Hi Craig, today seems to be my day for surprise reading. Your book reads like Mark Twain meets J.R.R Tolkien. Not that it's full of elves and dwarfs, but that it has a lovely undertone of soul touching magic about it. I love your narrator, but I did find my self wishing you'd taken a paragraph in the first chapter to add your vision of his age and appearance so I would have had a complete visage.
Excellent work!
Dawn De Remer

lynn clayton wrote 1188 days ago

Craig, if I didn't know about Authonomy, and someone asked me to read this book, I'd think it was by a great famous writer I hadn't come across before. There are many students of creative writing courses on here who would, and probably will, chant at you the meaningless mantra 'show not tell'. But this is not a play, it's a novel, the narrator speaking directly to the reader one of its classic forms - literally telling. And you do it with the best. No matter what writers think, this is what readers want and I hope you'll get the chance to give it to them. Backed. Lynn

Noel-Allen wrote 1189 days ago

Hi Craig,

I liked the 'at-home' easy-going rhythm of the narration; added to the location, it had the feel of something like Huckleberry Finn.

I was wondering if you had considered using 'in the moment' dialogue to complement the narrative style.

CarolynJ wrote 1193 days ago

The voice is so strong in this that the scenes, events and feelings are almost palpable at times. You are a true storyteller and the writing a delight to read - or, rather, to hear. Backed with pleasure, Carolyn.

Francis Albert McGrath wrote 1194 days ago

Craig
I read 1-3. I think there is a conflict between wanting to use dialect (talkin', 'cause, 'em) to reflect the simple nature of the narrator (like Huck Finn) and the complex events he is relating (relatin'). If you think about it, there is no need to use dialect. It achieves no additional effect, other than drawing unnecessary attention to itself. Get rid of the dialent and you have a powerful book. You could still use words like "pappy"... that's allowed!
That's my advice as an unbiased reader! The story is powerful and moves along well.
If you take my advice, message me when it's redone and I will read more.
Frank

MickR wrote 1194 days ago

Craig,
I see the quality of the writing, and an interesting premise.
You have a likeable MC.
I wasn't however completely drawn in as the accent of the narration wasn't something I think I could sit through for the length of the novel.
This is jsut my personal preferrence and absolutely not any fault of the work.
I am backing it for the quality I mentioned above.
MickR - The NIghtcrawler

John Adamson wrote 1195 days ago

Craig
I enjoyed the first three chapters and, you are a good writer and it flows just right, I'm not going to compeat with the big build ups, I backed your book becose I liked it and I have no nit-picks. It was I pleasure to read,
Good luck,
John- Foxley Manor

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