Book Jacket

 

rank 3917
word count 125193
date submitted 29.09.2009
date updated 02.01.2011
genres: Literary Fiction
classification: universal
incomplete

Painted Lives

Craig Bassett

An out of the box tale that combines the magic of Big Fish with the mystical qualities of The Alchemist, all told by Mark Twain.

 

A compassionate spiritual journey brought to life by a very likable old southern gentleman, whose intuition and insight offer a fascinating stroll into a world of magic and mysticism. The narrator makes no apologies for his unique vernacular, which isn't particularly concerned with proper grammar, word usage and on occasion, even spelling. His whole intent is honesty, the loving and oftentimes brutal kind that can only come from one’s soul, which does not require applause or approval.

Come sit for a spell by the fire and relax, as the narrator takes you on a spellbinding journey, one that requires nothing from you, save for an open mind. Listen as his interwoven tales, stitched meticulously together by magic, create a tapestry of wonder.

Set in the mid-1800’s, along a quiet stretch of the Mississippi River, the narrator’s fortune changes when he is taken under the benevolent wing of a newly freed slave and mystical healer, who guides the boy to his true potential.

Each character the narrator runs into and every adventure he endures brings with it a spiritual message and life lesson that seems to be made for him alone, as he is groomed to fulfill his inevitable fate.

 
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tags

adventure story, fiction, fictional, heartfelt emotions, honest, inspirational, magic, mystical, narrative, out-of-the-box, spiritual, uplifting

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Long Leg Ernie

Our town had its share of interestin’ people, but the one that had the greatest impact on me was a feller that most folks called Long Leg Ernie.  He was from all appearances an uneducated clay person, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth, since it was him more than anyone else, what was responsible for helpin’ me with my understandin’ of life.  

I remember the first time Ernie heard me call colored folks clay people, what gave him pause for a moment, before he broke out into a grand belly laugh.  When he finally got the laughter out of his body, he asked me to explain how I came up with that name.  He sat quietly listenin’ as he nodded his head a few times, then he grew silent.  In the end, he found the name to be a good one, ‘cause he said that we all come from God’s bountiful Earth and that by callin’ him a clay person, I was really just statin’ a natural fact.   

For a boy growin’ up without a father, life can seem more than a little overwhelmin’, ‘specially when there ain’t anyone around to teach you about the proper ways of manhood.  In my early days, I found my self gettin’ into trouble more than my fair share, what laid heavy upon the back of my poor momma, who had three youngin’s she was tryin’ to raise. 

Lucky for me, Ernie took me under his wing and offered his kind and generous heart to a lost little boy, who was bound for a troubled life if he hadn’t stepped in when he did.  He taught me about animals, healin’ and the why’s and how’s of livin’ on this fine Earth in a profound and patient way, which he was kind enough to do for all the years I knowd him.  That alone would’ve been far more than I could’ve ever expected, but he done somethin’ even more heartfelt, he became like a father to me. 

For the most part he treated me like his own son, though he never really made any mention of it.  He didn’t have to, since I always felt his love.  I don’t think there’s anythin’ more important in a boy’s life than to knowd that he has a father who loves him and is around for some of the bigger events of his life.  Ernie was always around for me, even when it put him in grave situations, which he could easily have turned his back on, but he never once wavered in his willingness to help me.

Of all the things Ernie graciously offered me, the gift I hold dearest is the way he ushered me into manhood.  I remember what Ernie used to say about becomin’ a man.  No one becomes a man alone.  It’s through the struggles and pleasures of livin’ life that a man is tested, ‘cause until he finds his balance, either one can bring him to his knees. I knowd what he said was true, ‘cause I’ve ventured a good ways in either direction, leavin’ me each time at a destination that was sorely lackin’ in any real meanin’.  Ernie liked to tell me that the main reason we’re here is to learn lessons and find our true direction, which he said was nearly impossible to do without bravin’ the rapids of life.

Funny thing, with all that Ernie had done for people over the years and bein’ wise and all, not many folks even took the time to learn his full name.  There was even a goodly amount that was of the notion that since he looked like an ignorant colored man and was fool enough to live in a stable, he just weren’t worthy of their high and mighty attention. 

To my thinkin’, it was their great loss, ‘cause they never got to knowd who Ernie truly was.  That’s the shame of it all, when folks judge others by how they look, the color of their skin or how much money they have.  They end up missin’ the real value of their feller man, which is the goodness that lies hidden in their heart.      

The really interestin’ part was that not a soul, ‘cept me, Gully and a small handful of others, knowd that Ernie actually owned the stable and weren’t a hired hand at all.  He bought it from the man that used to own it, who was a truly unsavory character and had used the stable for years to keep horses, some of which he occasionally sold. 

A couple of years after the war ended, the man decided that he wanted to sell all of his horses, what he done for a good price, then took his earnin’s and headed out west.  Some say he went all the way to a town someplace in the desert called The Angels, what seemed like a funny place for him to end up at, since he definitely weren’t one his self. 

Before he left for his adventure, he asked some of the folks what lived around there if they’d be interested in buyin’ his stable, which was on the northwest side of town, at the end of the road.  It was in a good spot, just a short stone’s throw from the main street and facin’ the river, though the water was a spell away to the west, through a thick patch of woods. 

No one paid much attention to the man, mainly ‘cause they had no respect for him, since he treated his horses cruelly.  For me, I didn’t like him ‘cause of the way I saw him treat Ernie on a few occasions.  He was one of those ornery types, what’d drink whiskey and then find all sorts of reasons to get angry at anyone who was around him, which unfortunately ended up bein poor ole Ernie. 

I never heard about him hittin’ Ernie, but there were many times when folks would hear him yellin’, callin’ my friend all sorts of vile things.  My momma told me that Ernie never got riled up, though he could’ve, bein’ as tall as he was, what might’ve set that bully straight, but he never did.  Instead, when things got bad, he’d just drop his head and shake it ever so slightly, almost like he felt sorry for that ornery man and his darkened heart. 

One of the first things what Ernie told me, was that if you got mad at that type of feller, then you could turn your self into a man just like ‘em.  I never did truly understand what Ernie meant, not until I was older, but at the time the idea struck terror into me, and for a long spell I tried to watch out about gettin’ my anger up, which for a hot head like me was always most tiresome. 

I didn’t realize at the time that it’d take me hatin’ a person for me to turn into someone like them, what Ernie later told me was the reason why many folks that are beaten when they’s youngins, do the same awful thing to others when they get older.  He said that until the chain is broken and love replaces hate, nothin’ changes and the pain goes on forever.  

Anyway, Dwight, the man who owned the stable, don’t ask me how I can remember his name, asked Ernie if he wanted to buy the place.  He said it was against his principles to sell anythin’ to a worthless colored man, but he was desperate to get rid of his stable and get some more money for his trip. 

Ernie told the man that he only had a little money put aside from the healin’ he done since he’d become a free man and he was plannin’ to use it to buy some land and build a house.  Dwight asked Ernie how much he had and the two of them bargained to an agreement, which they wrote on a piece of paper and signed.  Ernie took the bill of sale to a nearby town, where a man of the law looked at it to make sure it was legal.  

The man of the law said it looked good to him and made Ernie go to some office nearby to get the paper made into a true document for his records.  Before Ernie left his office though, the lawyer cautioned him by sayin’ that he weren’t sure if the judge would sign it or not, unless there was a compellin’ reason, since he weren’t inclined to let a colored man own property in his territory.

Ernie just nodded his head, then left to get his legal document, what he presented the followin’ day to the judge, who listened to the whole story about him wantin’ to buy the stable.  When the judge found out that it was Dwight who was plannin’ to sell Ernie the stable and that the rascal, who the judge referred to as a drunken bastard, was goin’ to move out west, he changed his tune a little.  The judge told Ernie in no uncertain words that he wouldn’t sign the document, until he knowd for sure that Dwight was long gone.  Havin’ said that, the judge just looked at Ernie and told him that they had nothin’ further to discuss.  

Almost a month later to the day, the judge received news of Dwight’s unceremonious departure in the dead of night, what he responded to with the words good riddance.  He kept his word and signed Ernie’s document, agreein’ to everythin’ even though he was a colored man.  The reason the judge liked Ernie, was ‘cause he’d helped deliver one of the judge’s calves, what was turned around inside its mother and would probably have killed the both of ‘em.  Ernie had heard about the judge’s problem with his cow and showed up just in time to perform some of his special healin’, what saved the mother and babe and earned him a powerful friend. 

In the end, I think the real reason the judge changed policy and let a colored man own land, was ‘cause he wanted Ernie around in case there was need for his healin’ magic, but he did make a point of tellin’ my friend that he weren’t goin’ to make a habit of it.  For this reason, the judge told Ernie that he needed to keep the sale a secret or he’d be liable to change his mind.   

Ernie, in all the years I knowd him, which was a good long spell, helped more people and animals than anyone else that I’d ever seen or heard about, bar none.  He was truly a man of healin’, both for the body on the outside and for the spirit on the inside, though most folks only really knowd about his way of fixin’ what was wrong on the outside.  It was those same folks who only believed what they wanted and thought that Ernie was born with his special healin’ ways, but that weren’t the case at all. 

It was his momma, who long ago when she was just a youngin, came to knowd the healin’ ways of the Ancient Ones, when their knowledge was fresh and the world hadn’t changed to make them want to leave.  She was the one that helped guide him into becomin’ the man he turned into, and along the way, she also taught him all that she knowd about healin’.

There’s a powerful lot more to tell about Ernie, but his momma was highly interestin’, both for the kind of person she was and for the adventures she had.  To my great fortune, Ernie liked to tell me tales about his momma and her friend Opah. 

Their stories was like a healin’ balm to my soul for the lessons they helped me learn and for the goodness that they left behind.  One of the few things I’m sorry about in my life was that I didn’t have a chance to meet Ernie’s momma, what of course was impossible, since she was long gone before I was even born, but it would’ve been nice just the same. 

 

Chapters

5

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Manolya wrote 1173 days ago

Oh gosh Craig, where do I start with your book?
I love your pitch and all its promises the reader, 'Come sit for a spell by the fire and relax...'
Sit by the fire- sit anywhere you like, because this book is truly special and a real treat to come across.

It is deliciously written as in I want to savour each line and enjoy the moment of just sitting down and pouring over the pages. I love the southern accent and can just visualise this book as a movie with the characters being brought to life.

I hope it isn't too long before this book is snapped up by an agent and published so that others will be able to enjoy the richness of the story.

This book is a classic in the making and will be read for years to come- a must have!
Backed with great pleasure!!!

I hope 2010 is a great year for you & your book.

Warm regards,
Manolya- love in No-man's land

Callaghan Grant wrote 1195 days ago

This is fantastic. Fantasic writing. Fantastic premise. Fantastic insights. I applaud you and shall go out of my way to send you reads from time to time as this work deserves a place on the Ed's desk and in bookcases across the world.

Loving, appreciative regards, Callaghan (The Shouting Tree)

Jared wrote 1199 days ago

A very clever premise, many unusual touches, this is a book I shall remember for a long time. I started to make notes while reading, but was swept away with the story and after seven chapters I'd only written the word "clever". Actually I wrote it twice and clever it certainly is. I loved the easy-going conversational tone of the narrative, the sharply drawn characters and the sheer "difference" of your writing style. I'm a big fan. Backed, absolutely.
Jared.

Thomas J. Winton wrote 1199 days ago

Craig, the fact that "Painted Lives" isn't near the top of Authonomy's rankings, and that it has almost no backings, gives serious pause to the workings of this site. So often books that are mediocre (at best) are up there only because of the author's chicanery. You obviously haven't marketed your exceptional work here -- I may be wrong but I don't think that type of activity is you're forte. This is surely one of the finest pieces or work I've read in my two months on this site. If this doesn't get published, with all the sensationalist junk out there that has, something is seriously wrong with today's reading public. Well...I take that back, you and I both know that's already a reality. Get those queries out, Craig. There's surely a publisher out there waiting for it. Backed.
Thomas J Winton
"Beyond Nostalgia"

Adam Thurstman wrote 325 days ago

billetem wrote 1 day ago

A work of pure genius. Adam De-Thurstman writes better than Mark Twain. This is a masterpiece which needs to be published immediately. Some might ask: how can anyone promote such a book, a book written by an author who claims to be the real Adam - the real Adam, you know, as in the real Adam and the real Eve? He also claims to be Elijah. How can one promote such a book from such an author? The author is sincere. It's not satire. It's not a caricature. It is also great literature. He might be right or wrong about a few of his extraordinary claims, but the man is nevertheless a virtuoso artist working in prose.

Pia wrote 875 days ago

Hi Craig, maybe you pick this up. Please have a look in your message box, thanks. Pia

mvw888 wrote 885 days ago

Wonderful voice; happy to revisit this.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

GK Stritch wrote 997 days ago

Dear Craig Bassett,

"All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. All American writing comes from that. There was nothing before. There has been nothing as good since." Ernest Hemingway captures it, doesn't he?

Best and backed. Good work with Painted Lives.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

memphisgirl wrote 1008 days ago

Love your narrator, love the language. Reading this felt like home.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

klouholmes wrote 1041 days ago

Hi Craig, This is written vernacular that is easy to follow. And the story flows like folktale. The bear artifact and the boy’s wondering why the Ancient Ones would choose him is ensnaring. Liked the setting and the synopsis promising of more learning about mysticism in the forest. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

CraigD wrote 1090 days ago

I like the tone of this a lot. I also like the dialect, but you have to be careful to maintain it consistently (particularly if you're going to invoke Twain), and also not put words in the boy's mouth that he might not reasonably know. But your narrative is very attractive, and the writing supports it well. I'm happy to back this for you.
Please consider taking a look at my book, The Job.
Craig

name falied moderation wrote 1091 days ago

This a a magical book L O V E D it and will keep it on my WL. Your words conjure up the era and setting and take the reader on a journey of mysticism. I am shleving this book BACKED for sure. WILL be in the bookstroes at some time and will buy it. Please keep writing and plugging this book. I would be so pleased if you could read some of my work, non-fiction and magical in its way, as I could learn so much from you. BACKED with pleasure

eloraine wrote 1100 days ago

Well written and wonderful. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

SusieGulick wrote 1104 days ago

Dear Craig, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "backed" your book, I will also put your book on my "watchlist." Could you please take a moment to "back" my completed unedited memoir version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which at the end tells of my illness now & 6th abusive marriage. I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy.

SusieGulick wrote 1104 days ago

Dear Craig, I love that you have brought alive the 1800s in the South - it's like I was right there along with you as you told your tales. :) My daughter-in-law is from Memphis. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

zan wrote 1123 days ago

Painted Lives
Craig Bassett

Craig,
I must say, your pitches spoke to me - once I'd read that you'd weaved into this "the mystical qualities of The Alchemist" I was sold. I think I am Coelho's most dedicated fan! His works are spellbinding to me and his messages speak to me in a very profound way, as yours here does. I simply love this piece of yours and I can see Coelho's influence here. I am so happy to have found this. Coelho has also influenced my own writings. I look forward to seeing this beautiful piece of yours published and available in bookshops everywhere. I am a fan of yours already. I feel close to your writing - and I accept this statement you write here, "On more than a few occasions, God's magic seemed like a real person to me." I feel the same way. I know this site is daunting, and seems more like a madhouse at the moment than a writer's site, but I hope you will continue to make this fantastic piece of work visible here so that it can be spotted by an agent/publisher. I love the idea of this gift from the legacy of Lars and his encounter with the Aracunias, the prophecy and that fateful meeting creating a link that tied the past to the future. So inventive, this plot of yours. And that door opening for your narrator to be accepted by the Ancient Ones. Your ending at this second chapter, "It all began when I was just a youngin, what started a friendship between us that ended many years later, but not before they'd showed me many incredible things, which to this day I still find truly magical" is magical in itself - and I want to continue reading so very much but I have a ton of papers staring at me which I have to deal with now - but I will return to read more. This reads like "magical realism" to me, one of my favourite vein's of literary fiction. What more can I say but that I love and admire your writing, and I sincerely wish you success in getting this published.
Best,
Zan

Jed Oliver wrote 1141 days ago

Your writing is marvelously entrancing! This is truly wonderful stuff, and I wish you the very best with it. Backed. Best regards, Jedward (Knut)

Beval wrote 1141 days ago

I liked this.
I'm not sure what else to say, sometimes a book just does this to you, its like meeting friend, you like them, you're not sure why, but they give you a feeling of comfort.
I like this book.

lionel25 wrote 1153 days ago

Craig, the prologue and first chapter read well. I like the narrative voice. Nothing to nitpick in these two sections. Good job overall.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Sheila Belshaw wrote 1156 days ago

PAINTED LIVES:

Craig,

I love the conversational tone of this work. So natural and so connecting. It appeals to all the senses.

I love writers who dare to go out of the box. Sometimes we are too confined by rules. You can't do this. That's not allowed . . . etc. But like all branches of art, writing must grow and evolve, and somebody has to start the trend. You have done just that. This could become a classic.

Backed with admiration,
Sheila (Pinpoint)

snickerdoddle wrote 1158 days ago

Unlike anything I have read in a long time. Just getting started good but i certianly plan on continuing my read. Backed and thanks.Karen

Alan Dean wrote 1158 days ago

Craig,
Interesting and unusual premise with many nice features. A bit slow for my read, but may be appropriate to the easygoing tone of the story.
Nice engaging legend, conflict and description.
Backed.
Alan

Jo Ellis wrote 1165 days ago

This is something totally different for me to read but I'm glad I've read part of this.

A fascinating, clever story is what I found here. Highly original with a strong fresh narrative which promises to take us on a interesting journey.

Though not my thing, I can appreciate excellent writing.

Good luck

Jo xx

Spoilt

Cully wrote 1165 days ago

In the prologue, it may me less intrusive if you just left out the apostrophe's when doing the colloquialism.

Chapter 1
I think shorter sentences will be more powerful. As this is currently written, each sentence, when you provide more information, gets a little lengthy and cumbersome. Try taking one sentence and making it two and see how that sounds to you read aloud.

I want to get into the book faster. What you have currently up front may work later on in the chapter or even in the book, but right now I want to feel more immediacy--not saying like a pop-fic novel but I just want to be grabbed by the collar a little more right up front. I commented on another book in here that it reminded me of the Watson Legend in Peter Mathiesson's Shadow Country--and your book does too. Take a peek at it--you'll see what I mean. In that book there is a lot of the background info like you have, but the reader is already invested early on because of the protagonist's penchant for violence.

Cully

Famlavan wrote 1166 days ago

You have an amazing voice that creates a great style. This is so well written, fantastic characterisation and you create a sense of being in the story – very, very good!

DP Walker wrote 1166 days ago

Hi Craig
A really original book with some great characters. I think this has a lot of potential.
DP Walker
Five dares

Raymond Nickford wrote 1167 days ago

Painted Lives:

Craig,

The dialect of the narrator is certainly needed and lends great plausibility and conviction to the account of childhood and maturity alongside the Mississippi river in the early 1800's.

So much legend, romance and even conflict surrounds that area, not least the sadness of those whose lives were subject or enslaved so that, to a Brit, there is a special mystique when set in the early nineteenth century and from the viewpoint of one of the idigenous folk.
I wanted to learn more of 'the real Ancient Ones' and the 'strange gift' and wanted - but didn't need - to read chapter 3 to know that I was in the hands of an author who had the integrity and patience to paint the truest portrait he could of a period and place that fascinated him and is infectious for the reader.
Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

blueboy wrote 1167 days ago

i backed you because i think your writing deserves to be back. you have a good voice and tone, and the story telling flows intuitively, though there are some roughs spot. i think you will do well with this. please read soem of my book, The Age of Rhinestone, when you have time. feedback is welcome. take care and good luck with yourmanuscript. ttyl

Burgio wrote 1167 days ago

The pitch for this story invites a reader to sit down and leisurely enjoy this - and that's exactly what happened when I started to read this. Love the vernacular of the narrator. Enjoyed the pace that seems slow and languid but still carries the story forward. Fits the Mississippi background. A good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

David Nicol wrote 1169 days ago

Craig
I hope this novel does well. It is written in a very evocative style.
I especially like the use of vernacular, though I wonder about using so many apostrophes in verb endings, such as doin', tryin', etc and others, eg somethin'. It may seem risky, but I think most readers would soon get used to seeing the words simply as doin, tryin, somethin, etc. And that way the text would not be peppered with apostrophes. Less cluttered maybe. Just a thought. And it may well come down to matter of house style for a publisher any way.
All the best
David

Wilma1 wrote 1170 days ago

An endearing start I warm to your characters and want to learn their fate. Excellent
Knowing Liam Riley
Sue Mackender

David Fearnhead wrote 1173 days ago

There is just something about the Southern Voice which just lends itself to good storytelling.
This is clever writing in that I heard the voice, the accent came through, but it came through as authentic.
I found your prose very poetic, you certainly know how to paint an image with words.
I have to say and in no ways is this a criticism but this would make a fantastic audio book. Get the right actor to voice it and I'd gladly listen to this as I laid out in the sun all day.
Backed,
David
Bailey of the Saints

Burgio wrote 1173 days ago

I love this kind of book that takes a reader back in time to a particular time and place. The narrator's twang made reading this really enjoyable. Backed.

Manolya wrote 1173 days ago

Oh gosh Craig, where do I start with your book?
I love your pitch and all its promises the reader, 'Come sit for a spell by the fire and relax...'
Sit by the fire- sit anywhere you like, because this book is truly special and a real treat to come across.

It is deliciously written as in I want to savour each line and enjoy the moment of just sitting down and pouring over the pages. I love the southern accent and can just visualise this book as a movie with the characters being brought to life.

I hope it isn't too long before this book is snapped up by an agent and published so that others will be able to enjoy the richness of the story.

This book is a classic in the making and will be read for years to come- a must have!
Backed with great pleasure!!!

I hope 2010 is a great year for you & your book.

Warm regards,
Manolya- love in No-man's land

lizjrnm wrote 1174 days ago

There are few books here where I go past the third chapter but this I could put down - you write beautiful descriptive prose. BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

C.C.McKinnon wrote 1174 days ago

I don't have much to say. This is a very good story, a strong hook at the end of the first chapter and beautiful characterisation. Well done.

Francesco wrote 1174 days ago


Thanks to some very perceptive criticisms on this site (thank you Authonomites!) I am, at present, in the process of a major rewrite and don't have time for individualized comments.
If you are reading this it means I have read the first couple of chapters of your book and think it is worthy of my support. My training is in the visual arts so I can't really help with the 'nuts & bolts' but if you would like to know what I really liked about your work, just send me a message and as soon as I can I will get back to you.
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of my work) for a further read of your book

Tim Hawken wrote 1175 days ago

You have some great themes in here. Well written with a solid and believable voice, which gives a strong sense of character.

Fatalistic, philosophical and inspirational.

Well done.

Tim H
Hellbound

AlanMarling wrote 1176 days ago

Dear Craig Bassett,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Lars the Lightning Hunter sounds like my kind of chap. I skipped to chapter seven to cover less-traveled ground and was rewarded by “Before dawn shown its angry face to the world”. That phrase tickled me. Tuni sees a house in the dark night with a light on, so bright in comparison that it seems on fire. The scene feels almost surreal as Tuni leads frightened women from the corners of the house of light. I’m glad you portray the Frenchmen as unable to ride fast on the dark night. He sees a burning apparition ride away with his horse. Your word choice draws me into the time period, such as “plumb lost her mind” and “away in a twinkling”. Interesting that Tuni believed her man loved her and her babe, even though he left.

In my fallible opinion, you could make your long pitch more gripping by focusing on the negative. Currently, you mention who the boy must be guided to his potential and other good things. I’d be more worried for him if instead you told me all he stands to lose if he fails to learn as he undergoes his spiritual journey.

I enjoyed the tale. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

missyfleming_22 wrote 1176 days ago

Brilliant! I wish I had more to say but that is the word that comes to mind. Brilliant, I really liked this.

Missy

K.Z. Freeman wrote 1179 days ago

solid writing, seems like a decent enough story, not really for me though, and whats with all the fulfillin', fadin' and sayin' 's ? heh

RichardBard wrote 1184 days ago

This is a truly brilliant original piece of work—the sort of book I would like to place this on my real bookshelf at home. A reader can’t help but love the narrator. The writing flows as smooth as a twig on the surface of the Mississippi. Congratulations. Backed.

PatriciaF wrote 1184 days ago

Dear Craig,
I believe that a story in order to be a great one should have characters that left some kind of trace, something that make the readers be attached to them. And this happened to me in this book. A mother’s love, her responsibility towards her children, the innocence of the kids that live happily in a really sad moment, among others, are feelings that I felt part of it. War is like the scythe of humanity and passing through it without being cut can only be done if you are kid. The magic of the moon creates the enigmatic moment where the ancient ones appear in a boy’s life. Love how the events go in Mississipi river and the charming way of writing. Backed with all pleasure.
Patty.
(Animalstories)

Helena wrote 1185 days ago

Hi Craig, this really is original. I love the narrators voice, brilliant dialect and really made the whole thing feel very intimate. I love the prologue about Lars and the Aracunias and the stone and then you bring them in again in the second chapter with the boy, really imaginative and had me intrigued. I wish I had time to read as as I really do rate this story and your unique style and writing flare. Brilliant and on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

udasmaan wrote 1185 days ago

Fascintaing. i only read your prologue. it is going to make a fantastic story. your pace is well ballancedd. who am i to comment actually, i have the worst english in this site. but i love and enjoy the book doee not give trouble with pace (like yours) and not using millions of unnecessary words that I would not understand anyway. baked

shah

Skip Ball wrote 1185 days ago

Craig, You've done an incredible job of spinning a tale of wonder through the eyes of a child. You show his values, his respect for the 'clay people' (wonderful imagery) as well as a balance of good and evil in every human heart. Your ability to stay in character and explain things the way a child would is what makes this story an immediate classic. Its the ability of your child eyes to see and feel all the wonder and mystery of this world with a clear demarcation of good and evil. This gives your character life. You tell the story just as a child would, giving a stream of information that explains the mystery. Craig, this tells me much about you. I wish my childhood had been more unbiased and full of wonder. I'm pleased to back this book. Skip Ball 'Stronghold'

Bradley Wind wrote 1186 days ago

Craig,
Cover: Well done.
Pitches: Short=ooh, like the sound of that. Long=something didactic...interesting.
Text: and by the end of 1, who isn't fascinated to see what this egg shaped stone could be?!
Wow, the voice in this is so well conceived. So fully realized...
One can't help but wonder how much of this is drawn from your real biography...full of magic and wonder.
best of luck Craig!!
-=Bradley

Dawn DeRemer wrote 1188 days ago

Hi Craig, today seems to be my day for surprise reading. Your book reads like Mark Twain meets J.R.R Tolkien. Not that it's full of elves and dwarfs, but that it has a lovely undertone of soul touching magic about it. I love your narrator, but I did find my self wishing you'd taken a paragraph in the first chapter to add your vision of his age and appearance so I would have had a complete visage.
Excellent work!
Dawn De Remer

lynn clayton wrote 1188 days ago

Craig, if I didn't know about Authonomy, and someone asked me to read this book, I'd think it was by a great famous writer I hadn't come across before. There are many students of creative writing courses on here who would, and probably will, chant at you the meaningless mantra 'show not tell'. But this is not a play, it's a novel, the narrator speaking directly to the reader one of its classic forms - literally telling. And you do it with the best. No matter what writers think, this is what readers want and I hope you'll get the chance to give it to them. Backed. Lynn

Noel-Allen wrote 1189 days ago

Hi Craig,

I liked the 'at-home' easy-going rhythm of the narration; added to the location, it had the feel of something like Huckleberry Finn.

I was wondering if you had considered using 'in the moment' dialogue to complement the narrative style.

CarolynJ wrote 1193 days ago

The voice is so strong in this that the scenes, events and feelings are almost palpable at times. You are a true storyteller and the writing a delight to read - or, rather, to hear. Backed with pleasure, Carolyn.

Francis Albert McGrath wrote 1193 days ago

Craig
I read 1-3. I think there is a conflict between wanting to use dialect (talkin', 'cause, 'em) to reflect the simple nature of the narrator (like Huck Finn) and the complex events he is relating (relatin'). If you think about it, there is no need to use dialect. It achieves no additional effect, other than drawing unnecessary attention to itself. Get rid of the dialent and you have a powerful book. You could still use words like "pappy"... that's allowed!
That's my advice as an unbiased reader! The story is powerful and moves along well.
If you take my advice, message me when it's redone and I will read more.
Frank

MickR wrote 1194 days ago

Craig,
I see the quality of the writing, and an interesting premise.
You have a likeable MC.
I wasn't however completely drawn in as the accent of the narration wasn't something I think I could sit through for the length of the novel.
This is jsut my personal preferrence and absolutely not any fault of the work.
I am backing it for the quality I mentioned above.
MickR - The NIghtcrawler

John Adamson wrote 1195 days ago

Craig
I enjoyed the first three chapters and, you are a good writer and it flows just right, I'm not going to compeat with the big build ups, I backed your book becose I liked it and I have no nit-picks. It was I pleasure to read,
Good luck,
John- Foxley Manor

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