Book Jacket

 

rank 3281
word count 15017
date submitted 16.10.2009
date updated 29.01.2010
genres: Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult
classification: universal
complete

Eve's Tear

S.D. Gillen

When Alix’s night terrors begin to scream, she realizes the necklace she holds is more than an heirloom, it's something that could save her life.

 

Charlotte a once beautiful spoiled princess turns mad as she watches her true love die night after night in a bizarre scene at the top of her castle. The necklace she possesses somehow connects her to her love and enables her to see him though he always dies. When others find she has the necklace and try to steal it from Charlotte, she realizes her life is in danger and she may not see her love anymore.
Passing on the necklace it eventually lands in the hands of Alix and causes her to have night terrors. Her best friends Luke and Sterling accompany Alix on a journey to find where the necklace belongs. Jealousy, screaming night terrors, a daunting castle, and a silver wrapped pink pearl necklace, intertwine into a maze that Alix must break through to save herself and her friends.

 
rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

 

tags

adventure, castle, female main character, necklace

on 15 watchlists

225 comments

 

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

subscribe to comments for this book
Lockjaw Lipssealed wrote 1630 days ago

Let me start by saying that your gift is story-telling.. You have a wonderful way with taking the reader with you and creating characters that seem real;. I also believe that this could be successful with adults too.

Lockjaw

stormy101 wrote 1672 days ago

Excellent book of enchantment, never ending love and what we have to endure to achieve both. I found the book to be very easy to read with believable characters and I fell in love with it right away. I cannot wait for it to be published so that I may buy a couple of copies, one for myself of course (hopefully autographed) and one for my daughter who's 16 and going to love this book. Of course, then there will be the movie, the video game and all those cool little characters we will get at McDonald's, none of which will come close the the excellence of the book! Well done!

JJ Palooka wrote 1674 days ago

There's something very relaxing about YA fiction -- it's so disarming. I guess, most of the time, I don't expect too much, so I always feel surprised when the story is even average.

Eve's Tear is completely above average, however, and a perfect fit for the genre. You've encapsulated your little universe well. Your characters are immediately believable and immensely likable.

I read the first two chapters, then skipped around a bit, landing on chapter eight...now I'm reading chapter 9, and I feel like I need to go all the way back and read every word. Anyway, my point is, if you've read anything I've written, you must know what an accomplishment that in of itself actually is. This couldn't be further from my target subject matter, but I couldn't resist the effortless charm of Alix and the adventure you're sweeping her through.

On my shelf, for two points, and much-needed attention. Good luck.

=Miles=
tAgGeRs

DMC wrote 1718 days ago

SD
This is an evocative and enchanting opening chapter… well, it was until the knife appeared – yikes, that took me by surprise! Flipping heck, what are you trying to do, give me a heart attack? I like to be surprised and occasionally shocked, but ouch.
And what a fabulous way to round off the chapter. I am back to being enchanted, but I have my guard up as I move into chapter 2. That said, I am backing this book NOW for sheer impact of opening. Marvellous. One of the best starts on the site.
Thank you for the introduction – I’ll be reading a lot more of this.
Very best wishes
David
Green Ore

djinnia wrote 1446 days ago

ver cool read. you leave the reader wanting more. i liked it.

me

SammySutton wrote 1461 days ago

S.D.,

You have a beautiful story with wonderful characters. Charlotte's plight tugs at my heart.
Very nicely done.
Good Luck!
Backed !
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

eloraine wrote 1496 days ago

Wonderful, you bring us into this world with an ease that only comes from God given talent. Best of luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

SusieGulick wrote 1501 days ago

Dear S.D., I love your fantasy of the search for the meaning of all these dreams & the quest to solve it. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

A Knight wrote 1550 days ago

This such an enchanting piece. Other people have already mentioned the need for technical edits, so I won't repeat them, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself with this piece, losing myself in the gripping and dramatic story-line.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Jodi Louise Nicholls wrote 1564 days ago

Hello S.D.Gillian.

I loved your story, it has such a great potential to go very far. My only advise as a reader (and by no means an expert) is to pad it out a little more. The narrative goes a little quickly and the suspense is lost a little in the flow of the book. The necklace being passed down through the family and the night terrors have my interest peaked as I am personally familiar with the premise.

I hope this does well. Backed.

Jodi. xx

Burgio wrote 1595 days ago

This is a book ideal for teenage girls. What more could they ask for than a princess, a castle, and a magic necklace? I like your flowing writing style; moves the story forward at a good pace. The way you describe characters – enough words so we know what they look like but not so much you slow things down - is a second good technique you use to be certain this keeps moving. A good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

lizjrnm wrote 1597 days ago

Fabulous cover and wonderful prose - wow you have a gift fo rthe imagination and I love that this is something I can read in one sitting. Backed with pleasure!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Barry Wenlock wrote 1613 days ago

Hi -- I read some of this and enjoyed it a lot. I can't be helpful constructively, but I have backed you and wish you the best of luck. Best wishes, Barry (Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

Nick Poole2 wrote 1622 days ago

I'm 99% certain I read this before but can't remember if I commented. It's melodrama, yes, but that's always good. It has a sort of overwrought Count Of Monte Christo quality that I like.

I'll back it, but I may have done so before. Good luck with it.

Nick
"Mirror In The Sky"

obsidianrose wrote 1627 days ago

I like books with a juicy piece of intrigue that hooks you right from the start, and this book does.

Backed

Deloris Collins
Dark Souls

Richard P-S wrote 1628 days ago

I like the concept, and some of the passages are very gripping. However, there are some passages (starting with your synopsis), where the grammar and punctuation really needs some editing. This is such a good story that it deserves to be tightened up and made as good as it can possibly be. For me, it's just not quite ready yet. Good luck with this. R

DDickson wrote 1630 days ago

This is beautifully written. An intriguing story, love, madness, mystery, murder it is all there. You have a gift for story telling and your writing flows so well that one is carried along into the place that you have created. I will pop this on my shelf as soon as I have space, in the next day or so and I wish you the very best of luck with it. - Diane

kizgikate wrote 1630 days ago

I would have loved to have read this when I was fifteen or so (not saying that it would not be successful with adults, of course!) The poor boys in CHapter Seven who do now know what to do without her night terrors telling them what to do-- it's so cute and so imaginative. Backed.

kizgikate wrote 1630 days ago

Thanks for backing The Sea Within. I've pt your book on my list and am looking forward to reading it, with pleasure :))

carlashmore wrote 1630 days ago

This is a most interesting first chapter and the second one was even more engaging. You have created a wonderful story that will fully engage your target readership. Your pitch was very intriguing and I felt your prose suitably matched your themes. Overall, a very entertaining story. Backed. Carl. Time Hunters

Lockjaw Lipssealed wrote 1630 days ago

Let me start by saying that your gift is story-telling.. You have a wonderful way with taking the reader with you and creating characters that seem real;. I also believe that this could be successful with adults too.

Lockjaw

Ibby Pargeter wrote 1632 days ago

A fantastic read which definitely deserves to do well.

Ibby

Grailer wrote 1636 days ago

Thanks for the comment and backing.
Here’s a few comments from my read of your book.
Short pitch:
Perhaps “When Alix’s night terrors turn to screams.. – but perhaps I don’t understand the your point so I may be off base.
The story is very original as far as I can tell but does have a warm and familiar feeling to it – very interesting. The grammar/spelling looks solid and proofread /copyedited – I can usually find one instance where a writer forgets the comma before the character name in dialogue – not so here.
The only small comment is that the chapters end without much drama or closure. For example; Ch4 ends and Ch5 starts on the same scene/action. I actually like short chapters but just found them breaks didn’t add much– just an observation, not necessarily an alarm.
Backed with a wish for good luck and success.
James

jtgradishar wrote 1636 days ago

He looked a mess to say the least… this line has too childish a sound to fit in well with the rest of your prose, which has been good.

The necklace wasn’t as attractive as he was and Charlotte felt disappointed to look at it… This is a bit awkward.

You have the makings of a good story here. I think the necklace is a very creative touch. There are moments when I think Charlotte’s pain could be better shown through her actions rather than the exposition of the narrator, but for the most part this was entertaining. Worth a turn on the shelf.

Well done!

ScoRho wrote 1637 days ago

This is a good start, with interesting characters and more than a hint of something sinister. There were a couple too many "My Ladys" for me, but that's really minor. I also saw a couple small errors (like "be-head," which should be "behead") but, again, those are small and the kind of thing that I know will be fixed in revisions.

This is good, and makes me want to read more. There's something going on and I don't want to miss it.

Tim James wrote 1637 days ago

A wonderful tense and emotional start. Your characters are very believable and we feel their anguish. This excellent begininng gets the reader wanting to read more and more.
If the rest of the book is like this then I think you have a winner here.
Tim.

Eleanor Anne Dudley wrote 1638 days ago

Oh the poor girl, witnessing her lovers demise at an assassins hand. We read on, enjoying every word of Alix's adventure.

Backing it.

Eleanor and Sharkey.

lionel25 wrote 1639 days ago

S.D, I've read your first chapter. It's a good read and I'm happy to back this. There's one thing I would change.

Her heart stirred [at the sound]. The last part is redundant and can be chopped off.

Regards,

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

yasmin esack wrote 1640 days ago

Very very well done. Best YA book on autonomy.\Backed

Sava Tennoio wrote 1641 days ago

S.D.,

This is really very lovely. Such a heartbreaking start, swirled with some intriguing fantasy elements--definitely caught my attention. One thing I thought particularly nice was the first time Navarro pulled out the necklace. It wasn't pretty (at that time), dazzling or anything your main character expected--and I thought that was a very nice touch. Your writing is very good, I think it could use a little polishing, but nothing major. :)

Warmest Regards,
Alexis A. Hunter
(The Five Staffs of Meledari)

missyfleming_22 wrote 1642 days ago

This was so good, I really wish I had the time to read this from beginning to end. I was involved but my eyes really start to bother me after too long. I love the story, the characters, everything. This is going to do well and I hope it gets published soon! That's all I really ahve to say!

Missy

kristinnb wrote 1642 days ago

Stunning. I book full of intrigue, with love and enchantments, definitely a page turner. I enjoyed it from the start. Your pitch is haunting and makes the reader excited about opening the book. Well done.

Kristin
Demon in the Knight

Beval wrote 1643 days ago

A very enjoyable read, bang on target for its intended audience.

Ferret wrote 1643 days ago

You have an interestingly naive narrative voice, which could well appeal to the YA audience. Backed.

Francesco wrote 1643 days ago

Enjoyable Excellent and Expertly done!
Three's the charm...hope it brings you fortune.
Backed.

Natasha Owens wrote 1644 days ago

Backed.

Natasha (Water Under the Bridge...rises) view book

Tracy McCarthy wrote 1644 days ago

I think your audience will love this book. (Your audience and beyond!). The romance, the fantasy... such a great combination. The writing is great. The flow is great.
Happy to back this.
Tracy
The Guardians

Vonia Jackson wrote 1646 days ago

Great premise and well written!
Backed!
Voni
The Bell Ridge Cave

Caroline Hartman wrote 1648 days ago

Ms. Gillan,
Eve's Tear is a sweet princess tale with a new twist. Nothing better than another princess in a fairy tale. Very creative. My little seven year old granddaughters are very much into princesses. Best of luck with this. I will happily back it.
KC Hart
Summer Rose

Miss Sully wrote 1648 days ago

It's like a timless classic. Endearing and enchanting all in one. The love Navarro shows for Charlotte in his letter and her for him when she tries to save his life - it's like Romeo and Juliet - star crossed lovers.
Well written too.
Backed
Grace - Suitcase of Memories

Terry Dip wrote 1648 days ago

First off, the first line of your "About Me" made me think of The Simpsons. You know how the "state" where Springfield is impossibly borders four certain states?

Anyway, your language hops like in a dance. Like at a party where only a few are invited and things are mellow right now but you know it's about to get crazy. I suspect it's your use of "and" and your disregard of commas when it comes to participials that have created such an effect.

Just lovely.

Oh, and thank you about the holes. Or lack thereof, I mean.

AnnabelleC wrote 1648 days ago

This is an amazing story. When I first started reading it, I thought it was the usual fantasy fare... princess in the tower, blah blah. But it quickly turns into a true fairy story, where macabre things happen and enchantments work in strange ways. The ruined heroine in her ruined clothes, with the old retainer and the scene that keeps playing out on the battlements, reminded me a bit of Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake.
Unusual, very fine work. I can see why this has risen so far so fast.
Annabelle

Maggie P wrote 1650 days ago

What an opening, how could anyone resist reading on, backed with pleasure, Maggie P.

Maggie P wrote 1650 days ago

What an opening, how could anyone resist reading on, backed with pleasure, Maggie P.

Maggie P wrote 1650 days ago

What an opening, how could anyone resist reading on, backed with pleasure, Maggie P.

hkraak wrote 1650 days ago

Oh, my word....Navarro dies, which is heartwrenching, and then he dies every night again? And she gives away the last gift that he gave her? Charlotte's pain is palpable. I will come back and read more of this intriguing story!

HJ
The Pearl Edda

bluewriter wrote 1652 days ago

Oh, I love a good fantasy. I understand about going for the whole enchilada and I think you've got something here that could make it in this writer eat writer world we live in. I didn't have as much time as I like and was only able to read the first two chapters. Am backing. Can't wait to return and read more. After that, I'll try to leave a longer comment.
Jenny

Tom B wrote 1653 days ago

This is a good YA book. My only concern is that it is marked as complete, but only 15,000 words long.

Poor Charlotte, I did feel sorry for her.

Lellie wrote 1653 days ago

This is really smart writing, as you've taken a sort of fairy tale and turned it into a much deeper story.
My only nit is your long pitch, which is a bit confusing. It could just be because you need a few extra commas here or there. Might give it another look for clarity.

Backed--and looking forward to seeing how this does on the charts!

Lellie
"Knock'n on Wood"

FrancescaPolini wrote 1653 days ago

Lovely book, So glad I found it. It made me feel better. Wish you the best of luck. Backed knowing I will see it published one day!

Tim Roux wrote 1654 days ago

A very smoothly written time-shift fantasy yarn with a dark mystery buried in years gone by (and mysterious even at the time) and young people on its trail. I've never actually heard tears hit a floor - that is some upset! Backed.

Cait wrote 1654 days ago

Eve’s Tear:

S D, Eve’s Tears kept me interested through the first two chapters. Well written and I found it quite engaging, not just the characters, but the setting, and your images are well drawn. I have a couple of little things here, which you may, or may not, agree with.:)

be-head – no hyphen
…fell to their death. – fell to their deaths?

…the sound of her tears hitting the stone floor. – Not sure about the ‘sounds’ of her tears hitting the stone floor? But as I seldom read this genre, maybe it’s acceptable? If not, maybe – … interrupted only by the thud of her breaking heart? And if you still wanted to mention tears, try,- Unable to stay her tears, she slumped on her bed and covered her face with her hand? Just a thought. :)

…at her seamstress with a cautious eye. - -through a cautious eye - otherwise it could be the seamstress who has the cautious eye. ;)

Ch 2 - with the little strength she possessed. – with what little strength she possessed?
…and then his legs left her arms.. – ...then she lost hold of him/ then he slipped from her arms/then she lost her grip?

All the best, and already backed.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Miss Wells wrote 1655 days ago

Especially enjoyed all the detail in this – the emblems through which we see the characters and which form a kind of necklace through the first chapters. As the story itself revolves around a mysterious necklace, this is a very clever device.

jahek wrote 1655 days ago

Loved it, backed it - what is it though with girls and necklaces!! ref TSP

Jane Holyoake (The Spiral Pendant)