A Book of Shorts

Thanks, Louis W., for reading and for your feedback. I welcomed your feedback because it reinforces what one famous author said that a writer can't please everyone. You are in the minority in the assessment of the westerns. One of the westerns in this collection was published in a western short story anthology this past June, just as its written here. That was the third one I've had published in the last year.

I'm not Mickey Spillane or Louis L'Amour and don't try to be. I just try to be the best i can be and it seems to be working for the majority. So, thanks again for reading and the feedback. Maybe, sometime in the future I'll pen something that will appeal to you.

Keep Reading!

Larry

I was looking forward to reading this because I like short stories, but these illustrate why shorts are notoriously difficult to write. I don't care about the odd typos, but I do care about how an author builds story.

chap. 1

A lot gets in the way of the story. First, there's too much description. The author wants us to see the detailed saloon pictured in his mind, when it would suffice letting the reader see the picture in the reader's mind, way too much wasted description. The author uses stereotypes as memes, which is okay because memes work as shortcuts, but then he goes on to belabor the memes. Some famous writer advised beginners to leave out the parts nobody reads.

Then there're the words to let the reader know the writer's up on cowboy lingo. They don't fall naturally, like he has to mention quirley twice in case we missed it the first time. He mentions a sorrel instead of simply saying horse. In part 2 of chap 1, sorrel appears 3 times in the first 3 paragraphs. It's a horse and unless there's more than one horse, there's no need to take us by the hand and show us a particular picture when we've all seen westerns hundreds of times.

The story could be improved by cutting much of the dialog, like the lengthy discussion between Otis and the judge. Again, too much story wasted in trying to paint atmosphere instead of letting it develop naturally.

Same with the dialogue in part 2. The dozen paragraphs of dialog could have been packaged in perhaps 3 sentences. Instead of the terseness cowboys are known for, these boys blab more than a tea party. How much more effective it would be if that section started with the 7th paragraph when the brother's told "They're gonna hang your little brother."

The dialogue improves in part 3, but these still aren't laconic cowboys, and if I read the word quirley one more time, I want to shoot myself. When I got to the end, I wasn't sure what the payoff was. It seemed more like a Chekov slice of life (or death). Bottom line is that the story could be improved by looking at every sentence and then every word and asking what could be deleted.

chap. 6

I jumped to the Tanner chapter and it starts off better and more engaging, but then words start getting in the way: "… my new 1978 Midnight blue Ford Thunderbird with Sky Blue interior…" That sentence has more adjectives than a realtor turned romance novelist. Who cares if it has 2 different kinds of blue? It's a T-bird.

The atmosphere is better here, although still a bit self-indulgent. Like the western, the author uses too many cliches, but they work better here almost as a parody of a guy in the late 70s who pictures himself in the 1930-40s.

Another indicator of how the author has grown between the story in chap.1 and here is that the description of Josie starts off understated and more deftly handled, mentioning her "best asset." I wouldn't want to spend more than 2 minutes with Josie, but here we begin to see characterization. Nice.

shelf

Critiquing is hard because if we criticize a story, it feels like we're beating up the author, and that's not what I mean to do. All writers have to start somewhere and we're not all Micky Spillane. You might check out John Floyd, a really good writer of western and crime shorts.

The chap. 1 western was a dull oater and I almost didn't finish it, but I decided to take a glance at one more story. The chap. 6 Tanner story is much better and more practiced, letting us see the writer is starting to develop his own voice.

Based upon chap. 6 alone, I'll back the book.

I was looking forward to reading this because I like short stories, but these illustrate why shorts are notoriously difficult to write. I don't care about the odd typos, but I do care about how an author builds story.

chap. 1

A lot gets in the way of the story. First, there's too much description. The author wants us to see the detailed saloon pictured in his mind, when it would suffice letting the reader see the picture in the reader's mind, way too much wasted description. The author uses stereotypes as memes, which is okay because memes work as shortcuts, but then he goes on to belabor the memes. Some famous writer advised beginners to leave out the parts nobody reads.

Then there're the words to let the reader know the writer's up on cowboy lingo. They don't fall naturally, like he has to mention quirley twice in case we missed it the first time. He mentions a sorrel instead of simply saying horse. In part 2 of chap 1, sorrel appears 3 times in the first 3 paragraphs. It's a horse and unless there's more than one horse, there's no need to take us by the hand and show us a particular picture when we've all seen westerns hundreds of times.

The story could be improved by cutting much of the dialog, like the lengthy discussion between Otis and the judge. Again, too much story wasted in trying to paint atmosphere instead of letting it develop naturally.

Same with the dialogue in part 2. The dozen paragraphs of dialog could have been packaged in perhaps 3 sentences. Instead of the terseness cowboys are known for, these boys blab more than a tea party. How much more effective it would be if that section started with the 7th paragraph when the brother's told "They're gonna hang your little brother."

The dialogue improves in part 3, but these still aren't laconic cowboys, and if I read the word quirley one more time, I want to shoot myself. When I got to the end, I wasn't sure what the payoff was. It seemed more like a Chekov slice of life (or death). Bottom line is that the story could be improved by looking at every sentence and then every word and asking what could be deleted.

chap. 6

I jumped to the Tanner chapter and it starts off better and more engaging, but then words start getting in the way: "… my new 1978 Midnight blue Ford Thunderbird with Sky Blue interior…" That sentence has more adjectives than a realtor turned romance novelist. Who cares if it has 2 different kinds of blue? It's a T-bird.

The atmosphere is better here, although still a bit self-indulgent. Like the western, the author uses too many cliches, but they work better here almost as a parody of a guy in the late 70s who pictures himself in the 1930-40s.

Another indicator of how the author has grown between the story in chap.1 and here is that the description of Josie starts off understated and more deftly handled, mentioning her "best asset." I wouldn't want to spend more than 2 minutes with Josie, but here we begin to see characterization. Nice.

shelf

Critiquing is hard because if we criticize a story, it feels like we're beating up the author, and that's not what I mean to do. All writers have to start somewhere and we're not all Micky Spillane. You might check out John Floyd, a really good writer of western and crime shorts.

The chap. 1 western was a dull oater and I almost didn't finish it, but I decided to take a glance at one more story. The chap. 6 Tanner story is much better and more practiced, letting us see the writer is starting to develop his own voice.

Based upon chap. 6 alone, I'll back the book.

Hi David, Thanks for reading and for the comments. Just wanted to answer a few of your comments.
I,TANNER was written with the Noir in mind, Hence , the 50s feel. I have plans to revisit and embellish the story.

MYTH ISLAND was just a fun pirate story I put together and just spiced it up with the whole Greek Mythology concept.

BLACK LEATHER was actually a snippet from a crime fiction novel I was working on. You nailed that one.

HERO was something I threw together on a spur of the moment. Your idea about a series of vet stories I tweaks my interest. I may think about that.

As for the westerns, AND HELL CAME WITH HIM was published on June 1st as part of THE BEST OF FRONTIER TALES anthology. Two more of my newer short stories, THE REVEREND MISTER BLACK and THE BADGE OF LUCIUS MADDOX have been published in the ROPE AND WIRE WESTERN SHORT STORIES, volumes 2 and 4. Both are available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble for the Kindle and Nook.

I'm currently working on a novel about Hangman Harlan Hancock and am entertaing ideas about making Series of Wil Sunday and Harlan Hancock. So, I've been quite busy.

Thanks again for reading and for the feedback. It is much appreciated.

Larry

Mr. Payne, you write very well. There are a few technical errors. The two western tales work well, but your protagonists always "reloaded from their gunbelts." Simply reloaded would work fine.

The "I, Tanner" story is a little dated from the slang used such as heater, heap, giving it a 50's feel. No doubt, this was intentional, but I don't see it helps the story.

"Myth island" seems a little unfinished. Did the Amazons take all the weapons? The pronoun "I" is used several places where "me" would work better. The man said he was a teacher. White sand at the start of the story turns into golden sand at the end.

"Black Leather" jerked me about half off and turned me loose. I can see that as part of a story, not a story complete in itself.

"Hero" tugs at the heart. A letter addressed to address unknown doesn't really work. Perhaps there is a better way to effect the contact with the daughter. I can also see this as part of a series of stories about vets -- what is their story now decades after the Vietnam war?

Back to the western tales. With Hancock and Sunday, you have the makings of two strong characters. I believe you could build a serious shit kicker around those two men. The cool, tough hangman and the stone killer bounty hunter with a heart. The scene where Sunday stops a lynching ends to nobody's satisfaction -- except maybe the young man who rode away without a word. Where did he come from? Why were they hanging him? Who were the men hanging him?

You certainly have talent, but as we both know, short story collections are really difficult to get published. I think that is a shame for your sake and mine. I am not sure there is anything that we can do about that, but I remain hopeful. "And Hell Came With Him" seems an excellent title for a western novel, anthology, or collection.

Mr. Payne, you write very well. There are a few technical errors. The two western tales work well, but your protagonists always "reloaded from their gunbelts." Simply reloaded would work fine.

The "I, Tanner" story is a little dated from the slang used such as heater, heap, giving it a 50's feel. No doubt, this was intentional, but I don't see it helps the story.

"Myth island" seems a little unfinished. Did the Amazons take all the weapons? The pronoun "I" is used several places where "me" would work better. The man said he was a teacher. White sand at the start of the story turns into golden sand at the end.

"Black Leather" jerked me about half off and turned me loose. I can see that as part of a story, not a story complete in itself.

"Hero" tugs at the heart. A letter addressed to address unknown doesn't really work. Perhaps there is a better way to effect the contact with the daughter. I can also see this as part of a series of stories about vets -- what is their story now decades after the Vietnam war?

Back to the western tales. With Hancock and Sunday, you have the makings of two strong characters. I believe you could build a serious shit kicker around those two men. The cool, tough hangman and the stone killer bounty hunter with a heart. The scene where Sunday stops a lynching ends to nobody's satisfaction -- except maybe the young man who rode away without a word. Where did he come from? Why were they hanging him? Who were the men hanging him?

You certainly have talent, but as we both know, short story collections are really difficult to get published. I think that is a shame for your sake and mine. I am not sure there is anything that we can do about that, but I remain hopeful. "And Hell Came With Him" seems an excellent title for a western novel, anthology, or collection.

A BOOK OF SHORTS by Larry Payne

Louis Lamour would be proud, Larry, although he might be a wee bit jealous. You see, I think, and having been a truck driver for many years I've read of his, you blend your heavy, yet effective dialogue with a more defined narrative. I say this because yours is more efficient. Pure and simple. There wasn't a single paragraph of narrative that exceeded four lines in Hangman's Noose. This was just crisp classic western writing...period!

Right down to the names of the characters in Hangman's Noose, I felt I was reading authentic western writing at it's best. Reminded me very much of a Chick Beaudry tale, only like I said...a bit faster. You built up to the climax of the story with incredible skill, leaving the reader not only guessing, but no doubt calculating as well.

This is excellent work. Would make a great audio book type thing for truck drivers, whom we know are great admirers of vintage western stories.

All I could do was click the six star button on this stuff. It's publishable, it's well-written and very entertaining. Thanks for the story. I enjoyed it very much and am off to read the next one.

E M Delaney

Thanks for your kind words, A.G.
It was particularly satisfying to hear you thought AND HELL CAME WITH HIM was the best of the lot. I personally think it's my best story to date, so you gave me some personal validation. That story also was voted Story Of The Month by the readers of the e-zine Frontier Tales. It appeared in the April 2010 issue and will also appear in the e-zine's anthology called The Best Of Frontier Tales. I believe that will be in print.
I recently officially became a published author when my newest western short story, The Reverend Mister Black, appeared in the Rope And Wire Western Short Stories, available now on amazon.com.
I also have a western fiction novella, Ride The Savage Land, contracted with an e-book publisher and am waiting a release date.
So, although I enjoy writing the other genres, I think I'm going to concentrate on the westerns because that seems to be where I do my best work. And I've decided to replace a Book Of Shorts with a book of western short stories that includes the two from the Book Of Shorts along with some newer ones.
You helped me make up my mind on this, so I thank you for that and hope you'll check out the Book Of Western Shorts when I make it available.

Thanks again,
Larry

Dear Larry,

‘Book of Shorts’ was an enjoyable read.
Just, look out for instances of repetition, e.g. stairway and stairs in the same sentence. Otherwise, the writing was fine, if not flawless and the pace was perfect. The authentic dialogue in each story made reading it a lot of fun. I’ve read all six and would like to comment on them individually.

The Hangman’s Noose

Interesting story from start to finish, it kept me guessing till the very end as to in whose favour the scales would finally tip. Very well written. My rating: 6 s

Myth Island

The story has an intriguing premise. In fact, this was the first one that I read. But as I read on, I found that it was not what I had expected. I have a feeling that you may have written it for younger readers. If so, then you must mention that. My rating: 3 s

Black Leather

This one started off well. I had a fairly good idea where it was headed. What kept me going were the pace and the excellent use of language. But then, I spotted the plot error. The assailant had tied up Sherry’s arms and ankles. How come did he not notice the concealed heater? But otherwise, it’s a good story. My rating: 4 s

And Hell came with him

This one’s undoubtedly the best of the lot. My rating: 6 s (though I’d happily give it a 12 if I could!) Western’s your game, amigo! Look no further.

Hero

You’re a very competent and sensitive author to have written something like this.
It’s beyond ratings.

I, Tanner

Well-written as usual, my rating: 5 s

Overall rating: 5 stars

Closing remarks:

I think it’s better if you remove ‘Myth Island’ from this excellent collection. In terms of both genre and readership, it obviously doesn’t belong here.
What you should definitely do is write more Westerns. And I mean, novels. Your sense of action and dialogue bear testimony to your undying passion for the genre and would make for un-put-down-able reads and perhaps a few movies as well if Hollywood decides to revisit this gold mine. Keep up the good stuff.

Regards,
AGC

PS – I see that you’re using one of the generic covers. If you send me a test mail to agc.goodman@yahoo.com, I’ll send you a cover that I’ve whipped up for you. It’s free, of course.

Dear Larry,

‘Book of Shorts’ was an enjoyable read.
Just, look out for instances of repetition, e.g. stairway and stairs in the same sentence. Otherwise, the writing was fine, if not flawless and the pace was perfect. The authentic dialogue in each story made reading it a lot of fun. I’ve read all six and would like to comment on them individually.

The Hangman’s Noose

Interesting story from start to finish, it kept me guessing till the very end as to in whose favour the scales would finally tip. Very well written. My rating: 6 s

Myth Island

The story has an intriguing premise. In fact, this was the first one that I read. But as I read on, I found that it was not what I had expected. I have a feeling that you may have written it for younger readers. If so, then you must mention that. My rating: 3 s

Black Leather

This one started off well. I had a fairly good idea where it was headed. What kept me going were the pace and the excellent use of language. But then, I spotted the plot error. The assailant had tied up Sherry’s arms and ankles. How come did he not notice the concealed heater? But otherwise, it’s a good story. My rating: 4 s

And Hell came with him

This one’s undoubtedly the best of the lot. My rating: 6 s (though I’d happily give it a 12 if I could!) Western’s your game, amigo! Look no further.

Hero

You’re a very competent and sensitive author to have written something like this.
It’s beyond ratings.

I, Tanner

Well-written as usual, my rating: 5 s

Overall rating: 5 stars

Closing remarks:

I think it’s better if you remove ‘Myth Island’ from this excellent collection. In terms of both genre and readership, it obviously doesn’t belong here.
What you should definitely do is write more Westerns. And I mean, novels. Your sense of action and dialogue bear testimony to your undying passion for the genre and would make for un-put-down-able reads and perhaps a few movies as well if Hollywood decides to revisit this gold mine. Keep up the good stuff.

Regards,
AGC

PS – I see that you’re using one of the generic covers. If you send me a test mail to agc.goodman@yahoo.com, I’ll send you a cover that I’ve whipped up for you. It’s free, of course.

Ivan, Thanks for your kind words and for reading Hangman's Noose. I consider western fiction to be my best genre, although I have written in multiple genres. Just about the time, I think about switching genres, I'll get feedback like this on one of my westerns. It makes me think the western genre is where I should stay, especially with the revival that seems to be taking place in the movies. Thanks again for reading.

Larry

Wow, what a thrilling short story, Larry! "Hangman’s Noose" is written exceptionally well! The opening scene in the court is vivid and easy to visualize. That helps me to get right into the thick of the story. The dialogues are done nicely – the slang is great. I really loved the way you divided it into several parts, each ending at a suspenseful moment. Gilson’s brother almost managed to save his brother but the plan totally backfired. The ending is well done! I had a great time reading this. I’d love to take a look at the other five when I have the opportunity.

Kindest regards,
Ivan

Wow, what a thrilling short story, Larry! "Hangman’s Noose" is written exceptionally well! The opening scene in the court is vivid and easy to visualize. That helps me to get right into the thick of the story. The dialogues are done nicely – the slang is great. I really loved the way you divided it into several parts, each ending at a suspenseful moment. Gilson’s brother almost managed to save his brother but the plan totally backfired. The ending is well done! I had a great time reading this. I’d love to take a look at the other five when I have the opportunity.

Kindest regards,
Ivan

Joshua, Thanks for reading A BOOK OF SHORTS and I appreciate the feedback. I always take feedback serious and will look at all your suggestions. Although I have written in multiple genres, western fiction remains my passion. Thanks again for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I enjoyed the set-up to your story, especially when Gilson vowed that his brother was going to burn the town to the ground. You build their world well, using terms and dialogue that sounds realistic for the time period.

You do a good job of handling third person omniscient. Though you jump perspectives, it reads smoothly and never becomes confusing. This is how this perspective should be done.

I'm impressed with how well-edited and polished this reads. I was able to sit back and enjoy the read without having to jot down a bunch of notes. This is tightly written and makes for a quick, enjoyable read.

Suggestions: I'd reword your second sentence to avoid "staircase" and "stairs" in the same sentence. Perhaps "steps" instead of stairs? Are the descriptions of where everyone is sitting necessary? The first half of this is quite predictable, with Gil leaving and the authorities predicting trouble with Gilson's brother. I wonder if you could create more mystery with this? There were quite a few characters for a short story. Have you considered paring this down? Maybe you can combine characters? I'd also like to see one character rise up as the main character, someone we can root for. I didn't really have much loyalty to anyone in this, so my investment in the story wasn't as much as it could have been. Finally, is it necessary to show the order Hickman and Grimes shake hands with Cooper and Otis? It makes the sentence feel a little clunky.

Typos: "Cooper Smith watched a man..." shouldn't have a semi-colon. Microsoft Word is wrong in this instance. It should be a comma. You also don't need the second comma in "like a school teacher than a hangman, but, Harlan..."

I used to love watching westerns as a kid, so this brought back fond memories. It's a well-written, interesting story. Well done!

I enjoyed the set-up to your story, especially when Gilson vowed that his brother was going to burn the town to the ground. You build their world well, using terms and dialogue that sounds realistic for the time period.

You do a good job of handling third person omniscient. Though you jump perspectives, it reads smoothly and never becomes confusing. This is how this perspective should be done.

I'm impressed with how well-edited and polished this reads. I was able to sit back and enjoy the read without having to jot down a bunch of notes. This is tightly written and makes for a quick, enjoyable read.

Suggestions: I'd reword your second sentence to avoid "staircase" and "stairs" in the same sentence. Perhaps "steps" instead of stairs? Are the descriptions of where everyone is sitting necessary? The first half of this is quite predictable, with Gil leaving and the authorities predicting trouble with Gilson's brother. I wonder if you could create more mystery with this? There were quite a few characters for a short story. Have you considered paring this down? Maybe you can combine characters? I'd also like to see one character rise up as the main character, someone we can root for. I didn't really have much loyalty to anyone in this, so my investment in the story wasn't as much as it could have been. Finally, is it necessary to show the order Hickman and Grimes shake hands with Cooper and Otis? It makes the sentence feel a little clunky.

Typos: "Cooper Smith watched a man..." shouldn't have a semi-colon. Microsoft Word is wrong in this instance. It should be a comma. You also don't need the second comma in "like a school teacher than a hangman, but, Harlan..."

I used to love watching westerns as a kid, so this brought back fond memories. It's a well-written, interesting story. Well done!

Dear Larry,

The Hangman's noose took me right back to my schooldays when I devoured all those Louis L'Amour westerns. Even in this age of computers, the story looks so true. I just raced through the story, such was the pace. Do post more of these if you carry stock.

I have starred your book and placed it on my watchlist, until a slot opens up on my shelf.

All the best to get the book published.

Jay Adiyarath
EXPIRY DATE

Steven, Thanks for reading A Book Of Shorts. I appreciate the comments and it just goes to it prove the old cliche true that "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all the time." And so goes the life of a writer. Thanks again for reading.

Hmm. A bit of a mixed bag here. You might have trouble finding a publisher for the collection as it stands - or are the stories bundled together just to meet the 10,000-word requirement for Authonomy? I don't normally read short stories, nor any of the genres here except fantasy, so my comments might be completely off.

The westerns are definitely the best, and Hangman's Noose is the better of those. I can see the dust and smoke and smell the gunpowder. The others are a bit too linear and simplistic for my liking, even allowing for the fact that a short story doesn't have room for much plot or character development.

Black Leather has one of my pet hates, withholding information from the reader that the point-of-view character knows and has a good reason to be thinking about. (Oh no, the kidnapper is going to rape and/or murder this defenceless woman! But wait - she's a police officer! And she has a gun that he didn't notice!) It works on TV, because the audience doesn't know what any character is thinking. It doesn't work in a book or short story, because you've shown the reader her fear and uncertainty - her thoughts and emotions - so you need to show us the rest of what she's thinking. Of course, if you do that, you completely lose the surprise when she whips out her gun and arrests him, so you would have to think of another way to surprise the reader.

The problem of finding Eddie's daughter in Hero is resolved too easily. Walter writes a letter to someone called Collins in a city of 300,000 people, and the post office don't bounce it straight back to him? Seriously? Did he not think to try looking her up on Google or Facebook - or even the phone directory? And why did he leave it until it was too late for father and daughter to be reunited?

So I'm a bit torn over whether I should back this collection. If there was another story that was as good as the westerns, I probably would.

Hmm. A bit of a mixed bag here. You might have trouble finding a publisher for the collection as it stands - or are the stories bundled together just to meet the 10,000-word requirement for Authonomy? I don't normally read short stories, nor any of the genres here except fantasy, so my comments might be completely off.

The westerns are definitely the best, and Hangman's Noose is the better of those. I can see the dust and smoke and smell the gunpowder. The others are a bit too linear and simplistic for my liking, even allowing for the fact that a short story doesn't have room for much plot or character development.

Black Leather has one of my pet hates, withholding information from the reader that the point-of-view character knows and has a good reason to be thinking about. (Oh no, the kidnapper is going to rape and/or murder this defenceless woman! But wait - she's a police officer! And she has a gun that he didn't notice!) It works on TV, because the audience doesn't know what any character is thinking. It doesn't work in a book or short story, because you've shown the reader her fear and uncertainty - her thoughts and emotions - so you need to show us the rest of what she's thinking. Of course, if you do that, you completely lose the surprise when she whips out her gun and arrests him, so you would have to think of another way to surprise the reader.

The problem of finding Eddie's daughter in Hero is resolved too easily. Walter writes a letter to someone called Collins in a city of 300,000 people, and the post office don't bounce it straight back to him? Seriously? Did he not think to try looking her up on Google or Facebook - or even the phone directory? And why did he leave it until it was too late for father and daughter to be reunited?

So I'm a bit torn over whether I should back this collection. If there was another story that was as good as the westerns, I probably would.

Larry,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

The first thing that jumps here is the style. Is a moment by moment perception where every moment is a dangling act promising the next to have the same urgency....

..... and that you deliver.

The jewel of the narrative however is the ruthless efficiency with which you write.

.....descriptions were language is used with the precision of a surgeon cutting a wound.....

......dialogue that is at times punchy and always goal oriented....

there is nothing missing in your narrative......nothing excessive.....

....everything is delivered in its right measure......

and that what makes it worth reading.

Some of my favorites:

"oh by the way, my name is Blake Tanner"
great way to introduce a character

"who goes to a ball game on an Armani"
my question exactly

"life size cut outs of Jimmy..."
this paragraph is your personal best so far...descriptive and yet not a word more than necessary

"her best asset and her best smile"

"Punches rained on me....."

"Hey, Mijo"

Some Minor/Minorest/Minormost points:

"Let's rock and roll"
I would cut a bit on the cliches. There aren't that many, but when you have a writer with such a polished style, they are like dust on porcelain

"a big hulking" "reluctant Mandy"
I would also cut a bit on the modifiers
why?
because as Updike said: "the modern reader can fill in the blanks"

Let me know if that helps,

Overall, wonderful

david

Dear Larry,
I really enjoyed your book starting from chapter one. Great dialogue and awesome characters.
Shelved with pleasure.
Maria x

Happy New Year, Larry. I browsed through your book and have enjoyed the stories enough to back it. My days are hectic and don’t have lots if time. If you would like a specific comment, send me a request and I’ll do my best.
Could you please take a look at mine?
Dan

I took a look at your stories after you were so kind as to shelve my book. You're a wonderful writer. The quality is strong throughout this and I loved the one about the Queen Anne and Hero. Hero is especially poignant in this day and age. It can apply to our modern wars as well as the World Wars. I think that one would definitely find a home in a magazine and be an easy story to publish. Thanks for sharing these with us, I'm so glad I took the time to look at these. I'm honored a writer like you is supporting me.

missy

Naturally I read the hero story, and it put a lump in my throat. There are two many forgotten 'Eddie's' walking around out there. It was a well told tale, and a lesson for the treatment of vets returning from Afghanistan and Iraq. A reminder that we need to do better. Backed.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

I was worried that this would be a hotchpotch in terms of genres, style and quality...It is...BUT NOT in terms of quality which always remains high.
Frank
Sicilian Shadows
If you back or have backed my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further possible backing of your book.

Pure gold, Larry. There's just nothing to say about a story so beautifully crafted and a tale so well told, except that it was a joy to read. Backed with my congratulations.

Kind regards
Richard Milton
(The Glass Harmonica)

Chapter 4. Phew, you had me going there for a minute, expecting the worst! Great build up of tension and an excellent story in the proverbial nutshell. Perhaps we will get to hear more of Sherry another time?
Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

You are so fantastic, Larry. :) I got so excited when I saw that you had backed my 2nd memoir book.
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Larry, I love short stories & have books of them - I think "The Lottery" was most impressable on me. Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. Your short stories are good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book to help it advance - this will help yours & mine move up on the charts. :) Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every "backing" you do moves your book & the other person's book closer to the top. :)

I read I, Tanner. A couple of questions..(spoilers included)
Why would they kill him instead of just putting him in jail for disorderly conduct?
Why keep the car?
Why did he vanish? If he did accidentally die, why not have a death story that his Dad didn't believe (For example: "He would never have saved anybody's life so I know the story they saw about him going into a burning building to save somebody is a lie!")
I also didn't appreciate him calling the waitress, "Baby." You do not call strangers that.
Also, you might want to clarify earlier that the girl he goes to the game with is his secretary.

As a huge 'Monkey Island' fan and pirate stories fan in general, I just had to start with 'escapa from myth Island'. What a smashing and very enjoyable read. Your prose is fluid and utterly accessible. I want to use the pirate realm and in particular edward Teach and the Queens Annes revenge in the sequel to 'The Time hunters' should I ever get the opportunity to write it. Anyway, thanks for posting this. Great. carl. The Time Hunters

I very much enjoyed I Tanner. I was thinking, though, that MacDonald said his name once or twice too often. Josie is a good old gal. Other than that no niggles.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway

Hey, that was really good, Larry. I read Tanner. I love a good PI story. Didn't find any wasted words either the tension was there from the outset.

Great twist at the end too.

Shelved of course and I wish you every success with your stories.

Melxx

A Book of Shorts:

Story 1 - Tanner:

Larry,

The meeting between Blake Tanner and Malcom McDonald is subtly engineered using the venue of the stadium while the likeable and light-hearted Mandy rings true in the exchange of dialogue right up to the point where she retires to watch the game and Malcom has the privacy to inform Blake that he wants his help to find the killer of McDonald's son.
Natural and crisp dialogue make the story very easy to follow while you know what to withold until you've seamlessly dropped the reader into the meat of the story without being predictable.
This is story telling par excellence; right up to the totally unpredictable denouement when you twist to the discovery of the appalling deaths of Harold and Leo and the poignant belated 'invitation to the grand opening of Josie's remodeled restaurant.'
Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

I read I, TANNER, it's a good story, very well written with great dialogue. Wish I had time to see what else you've written here. Good luck. Already backed.

BD Nelson
Abigail's Cries
Scorned

I liked the way your wrote in the first chapter " Oh, by the way, my name is Black Tanner". This sentence hooked me in. I like each paragraph you skept a space, which would be easier to read and follow. Good writing skill. Backed.

Mongoose, Thanks for backing. I'll be adding more stories soon and would value your comments. Thanks again for reading. Larry

Short stories aren't usually my 'thing' - I hate getting all invested in characters and then not having them around for long! But I've read some on this site that are making me change your mind. I love that these are all so different. I think Hangman's Noose was probably my favourite which surprised me as I was naturally drawn to Escape from Myth Island. Anyhow, good luck with your work and I'm happy to back.

Thanks for backing and the observations, Jared. I'm always open to what sells the readers. Your suggestions will definitely be considered. Escape from Myth Island was one of my first short stories, so I had plans revisit it. Your suggestions will help. I will be adding more stories to the book soon. I have a couple than I think would fit in nicely. Larry

Larry, as you already know very well, short stories are a tough discipline but very rewarding when well done. I applaud the way you handle very different themes and styles in these. Escape from Myth Island was a bit of a caper and I felt I would have liked a little more depth, more exploration, rather than a race through the various creatures and characters - it felt a little bit 'and then we got away and this happened, then that happened.' I think I liked the first one best but also enjoyed the style of number two very much. Just a small observation, at the end of that second story, there are two instances of 'tipping the derby' in close proximity, you might want to amend that. But really, all very enjoyable and I'd love to read more of your work as you certainly have talent as a writer and as a teller of tales. I'm happy to back this.
Jared.
Mummy's Boy.

Short stories aren't usually my 'thing' - I hate getting all invested in characters and then not having them around for long! But I've read some on this site that are making me change your mind. I love that these are all so different. I think Hangman's Noose was probably my favourite which surprised me as I was naturally drawn to Escape from Myth Island. Anyhow, good luck with your work and I'm happy to back.

Larry, as you already know very well, short stories are a tough discipline but very rewarding when well done. I applaud the way you handle very different themes and styles in these. Escape from Myth Island was a bit of a caper and I felt I would have liked a little more depth, more exploration, rather than a race through the various creatures and characters - it felt a little bit 'and then we got away and this happened, then that happened.' I think I liked the first one best but also enjoyed the style of number two very much. Just a small observation, at the end of that second story, there are two instances of 'tipping the derby' in close proximity, you might want to amend that. But really, all very enjoyable and I'd love to read more of your work as you certainly have talent as a writer and as a teller of tales. I'm happy to back this.
Jared.
Mummy's Boy.

Thank you, George, for your kind words and for backing the book.

Larry

Love short stories, and I have enjoyed these. It's an art that is quite difficult to do, but you do it well. I preferred the first one, of the three you have put up.

George Fripley

Love short stories, and I have enjoyed these. It's an art that is quite difficult to do, but you do it well. I preferred the first one, of the three you have put up.

George Fripley