Of Duty and Love

You have written a very interesting and unique historical storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Elizabeth. I also really like your use of the first person narrative voice which allows you to fully explore all of her thoughts and emmotions. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your romance a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

It’s hard to make a princess a likable character when her story is told in first person because the more she protests that her life was hard, the harder it is to believe her (poor little rich girl had to play by herself in her princess bed the whole afternoon). You’ve achieved that here, tho. Elizabeth is both likable and sympathetic; the kind of character a reader wants to follow to see how all of this plays out. Makes it a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Jullie, that fabulous cover attracted my attention, many congratulations. Your pitches work well, suitably enigmatic as is appropriate to the body of the book. It's a very imaginative premise, superficially a Romance in a historical setting, but there's a fascinating, and deliberate, absence of specific detail about the precise nature of both period and setting. I like that, particularly for a YA readership, with so much scope for imagination on behalf of a youthful readership.
Your MC is well drawn and engaging and You write well. I wasn't certain about the phrase 'it is too common' in chapter 5 - it seemed too modern to me, but that's just a personal impression.
There's a great deal of promise here. Backed on that basis.
Jared.
Mummy's Boy.

Your pitch has all the best ingredients for a romance, a princess, a forbidden love, a forced marriage. Elizabeth is a naive girl who at first knows nothing about life or love. However, when James helps her escape from the palace and takes her to see the village, she begins to learn something about reality. Her relationship with James begins to grow, and you show us this well in his teasing insistence on giving her a ride behind him on his horse. Her mother has begun to talk of a ball, and of her future marriage, and we can look forward to seeing the plot move forward, with the introduction of James's rival, when this ball takes place. You need some editing, but that's not difficult. Altogether, a fresh and pleasant love story. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Julie

I read three chapters and this is an interesting piece. Your narrator has a sassy teen voice and a modern attitude, but the setting is old fashioned and the dilemas she faces are of another time.

It strikes me as having a YA feel, the mix of romance and fantasy, with the young heroine and the coming of age aspect.

There are a couple of places where the writing needs editing, for example, from chapter three:

then twisted my head to beheld Jame

I think that should be behold. You might also want to take a look at your opening sentence: the double negative is effective and seems appropriate to royalty, but then the second part doesn't actually quite fit.

However, the story has potential and Elizabeth is emerging as an interesting character, so I'm happy to give this a spin on my shelf.

Backed

Thank you very much for pointing out that grammar error, and for your suggestions!

Julie

I read three chapters and this is an interesting piece. Your narrator has a sassy teen voice and a modern attitude, but the setting is old fashioned and the dilemas she faces are of another time.

It strikes me as having a YA feel, the mix of romance and fantasy, with the young heroine and the coming of age aspect.

There are a couple of places where the writing needs editing, for example, from chapter three:

then twisted my head to beheld Jame

I think that should be behold. You might also want to take a look at your opening sentence: the double negative is effective and seems appropriate to royalty, but then the second part doesn't actually quite fit.

However, the story has potential and Elizabeth is emerging as an interesting character, so I'm happy to give this a spin on my shelf.

Backed

Superb cover and simple pitch has an immediate draw. The dialogue is tight and wholly realistic. I enjoyed your ability to take us along with ease and undoubtedly the subject matter is a winner.

Richard

Superb cover and intriguing pitch obviously mulled over with the intensity of a dedicated scribe. Must needs and frankly will return once the dishwasher is emptied and her indoors has finished her rail at current cuts in adult care services.

Ciao and best wishes.

Richard

You have written a very interesting and unique historical storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Elizabeth. I also really like your use of the first person narrative voice which allows you to fully explore all of her thoughts and emmotions. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your romance a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Wonderfully written. Whilst I cannot claim to be a fan of romance I can appreciate good writing and this is it. Sorry that I can offer no help but the genre is beyond my meagre talents and it would be offering acorns to an oak tree.

BACKED

well written piece. set out well, and good use of dialogue...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Hi Jullie, This is a protagonist who is practical and has a familiar tone because she’s been with people she knows and trusts. Her attachment to James shows how she takes her mother’s directions with a grain of salt. Her trip to see the common people starts a discreet plot. It’s pleasant reading that potentially could turn into more conflict than she expects. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Dear Jullie, I love period pieces. Your story promises a real romance, historical tone. Having read your pitch I sensed it deserved a backing.
Helen

Excellent character creation and delivery, here. Elizabeth is compelling and enjoyable, pulling the reader in as we handle issues of responsibility and independence. Brilliantly done, and the descriptions act to create the perfect backdrop.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Very well written story and keeps the reader interest. The descriptions are marvelous and you connect well with the audience (important as editors love this). Reader looks forward to what is to happen to this princess's life. will be sad or a happy ending.

backed for sure

I’ve added your book to my watchlist. Best of luck with it!

Dear Julie, I love your premise - maybe she can be like "Princess Diaries" & change the law. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch - very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "commenting & backing" your book to help it move up the charts. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "comment & back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end my illness now & 6th abusive marraiage." Thanks, Susie :)

It’s hard to make a princess a likable character when her story is told in first person because the more she protests that her life was hard, the harder it is to believe her (poor little rich girl had to play by herself in her princess bed the whole afternoon). You’ve achieved that here, tho. Elizabeth is both likable and sympathetic; the kind of character a reader wants to follow to see how all of this plays out. Makes it a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Hi Jullie,
I read three chapters and really enjoyed them. Sorry I couldn't read more, but it was enough to give you a backing.
Best wishes, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

Jullie, your first two chapters are a smooth, entertaining read. I like the mix of narrative and dialogue. Nothing to nitpick in these sections.

Backed with pleasure.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

congratulations on the cover. This is a lovely piece of work, both fluid and pacy. Elizabeth's doubts over her future are understandable. I wonder whether it should be targetted for a YA audience, it wouldn't really need many changes. I enjoed it anyway. Carl. The Time Hunters

Thank you!

congratulations on the cover. This is a lovely piece of work, both fluid and pacy. Elizabeth's doubts over her future are understandable. I wonder whether it should be targetted for a YA audience, it wouldn't really need many changes. I enjoed it anyway. Carl. The Time Hunters

Both of the pitches worked for me. You have mastered the pitch. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

Elizabeth sounds exactly like a naive and sheltered princess, spoilt in some ways, denied in others and very much living in an ivory tower.
You've set up the perfect situation for a popular romance. And I think this book will be very popular. Backed. Lynn

Thank you!

Elizabeth sounds exactly like a naive and sheltered princess, spoilt in some ways, denied in others and very much living in an ivory tower.
You've set up the perfect situation for a popular romance. And I think this book will be very popular. Backed. Lynn

I like this. I do suggest you forego the intro and start at the first asterisk set. That feels more right. You can embed the intro details throughout the story. I like the idea of starting out in the middle of the conversation.
Well done, and backed!
Ellen (Thoughts of a Teenage Girl)

I like where you're going with this -- Backed. One idea -- I still feel a little bit like I'm hearing the voiceover of a Miss Marple remembering her youth instead of a Queen. You might consider investing her with more awe of her responsibilities, instead of describing them. "We must never listen of our heart's desires . . . " That's a breezy way of glossing over conflicting duties. I also don't believe her when she says, "Seeing little children fighting for a living almost broke my heart." Let's actually see the fight, so we can actually experience what breaks her heart.
But -- these are just suggestions -- this is your voice, not mine, and I wish you the best of luck with your project!
Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

I think you coud be my more serious sister

Great story!

Lockjaw

Love the cover art! It is evident in the first three chapters that you have definitely done your history homework! Excellent descriptive prose and polished work - you have put time and passion into this and it reflects in the writing!
BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

A fresh, tightly written story. Really liked this!

Missy

well written

Backed

Kev

Your pitch has all the best ingredients for a romance, a princess, a forbidden love, a forced marriage. Elizabeth is a naive girl who at first knows nothing about life or love. However, when James helps her escape from the palace and takes her to see the village, she begins to learn something about reality. Her relationship with James begins to grow, and you show us this well in his teasing insistence on giving her a ride behind him on his horse. Her mother has begun to talk of a ball, and of her future marriage, and we can look forward to seeing the plot move forward, with the introduction of James's rival, when this ball takes place. You need some editing, but that's not difficult. Altogether, a fresh and pleasant love story. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Thank you so much for your support. I must admit I didn't expect any positive feedback, one of the reasons being that I'm not a native speaker. So should you find any mistakes, do tell me.

Your pitch has all the best ingredients for a romance, a princess, a forbidden love, a forced marriage. Elizabeth is a naive girl who at first knows nothing about life or love. However, when James helps her escape from the palace and takes her to see the village, she begins to learn something about reality. Her relationship with James begins to grow, and you show us this well in his teasing insistence on giving her a ride behind him on his horse. Her mother has begun to talk of a ball, and of her future marriage, and we can look forward to seeing the plot move forward, with the introduction of James's rival, when this ball takes place. You need some editing, but that's not difficult. Altogether, a fresh and pleasant love story. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Jullie, that fabulous cover attracted my attention, many congratulations. Your pitches work well, suitably enigmatic as is appropriate to the body of the book. It's a very imaginative premise, superficially a Romance in a historical setting, but there's a fascinating, and deliberate, absence of specific detail about the precise nature of both period and setting. I like that, particularly for a YA readership, with so much scope for imagination on behalf of a youthful readership.
Your MC is well drawn and engaging and You write well. I wasn't certain about the phrase 'it is too common' in chapter 5 - it seemed too modern to me, but that's just a personal impression.
There's a great deal of promise here. Backed on that basis.
Jared.
Mummy's Boy.

I enjoyed meeting Liz in Dairy of Duty and Love; she is a fascinating mixture of snobbery, naivety and aristocracy, and dismisses her royal privileges as meaningless compared to the lack of freedom - though when she visits the village with her handsome teacher she begins to get a real education. This is vivid and enjoyable writng. Backed.

I had a few problems orientating this in time and space. Is it fantasy as in a whole new world or a Ruritania alternate/ old earth type place? Perhpas a few clues are needed in the first chapter to show this. Teen-speak seems plausible. Is this your target audience? You have the bones of a good story here so persevere with it. Jim D Serpent's Blood

I imagined this story taking place into another alternate reality, somewhere in the 19th century, as I intented to merge two different genres (fantasy and historical fiction). However, I will not mention the time, nor the space. This was the whole idea I had in mind when I started writing this -- to leave these details up to the readers' imagination. I believe that most of the readers that could be interested in my story are teenagers, so... yes, this is the target audience.

Thank you for your comment, and for backing the book!

I had a few problems orientating this in time and space. Is it fantasy as in a whole new world or a Ruritania alternate/ old earth type place? Perhpas a few clues are needed in the first chapter to show this. Teen-speak seems plausible. Is this your target audience? You have the bones of a good story here so persevere with it. Jim D Serpent's Blood