Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 58024
date submitted 11.11.2009
date updated 30.04.2010
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Historical Ficti...
classification: adult
incomplete

The Twelfth House

Bojan Zecevic

Death awards John with mindreading.
The ancient sword awakes Aleksandra's pastlife memories.
David is after ancient civilisation's secrets. The race for survival is on.

 

When John Stiles is severely injured in a Karate bout, he returns from his near death experience with a new gift - the ability to read minds. After being chased by the secret police through the streets of Munich, he escapes to Cairo.
At the same time in London, after seeing the ancient sword in the antique shop window, Aleksandra experiences an unbearable headache and collapses. The unexplainable fear and the sudden wave of strange visions from ancient times persuade her to undergo regressive hypnosis. Revelations change her and she is urged on a quest to Egypt.
Meanwhile, Egyptian scientists in The Great Pyramid at Giza try to penetrate and see what lay behind The Second Door. Could it be the key that would solve the mystery of The Ancient World?
David, New York tycoon, controlling an intricate network of underground societies is also on the quest to discover a closely-guarded secret that had lain hidden for centuries - an ancient piece of knowledge left behind by an advanced civilization holding the key to absolute power and understanding of life.
Here the race for knowledge and survival heats up, from ancient Babylon and Egypt via medieval Europe to modern-day world.

 
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tags

abduction, action, alexandria, aliens, ancient, antarctica, arm, babylon, bagdad, book, borgia, caesar, cairo, chase, christ, church, clairvoyance, cl...

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851 comments

 

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HarperCollins Wrote

I must admit that I had to work quite hard to stay engaged with this novel. The beginning of the manuscript holds some intrigue as John’s mindreading skills begin to unravel, as do Aleksandra’s visions. There is also some great atmosphere setting especially in the dojo scene – you almost feel as if you are a spectator. These introductory sections do require some padding out to establish the characters more.

Whilst the characters’ capabilities of mindreading and having visions across blurred timelines are interesting, their potential is never fully realised in a way that justifies a narrative pull. It is hard for the reader to sincerely want to know what will ensue. This is because as the story continues it seems that the main use of John’s mindreading powers is to read Aleksandra’s thoughts, which doesn’t seem enough in itself and seems to be a wasted potential gift. Unfortunately it is hard for the novel to find legs as a result.

The main narrative arc reads as John and Aleksandra on the hunt for The Book of Death with not much action happening in between asides from long accounts of historical events that just seem like regurgitations of the historical events. I think the plot could benefit if, in finding The Book of Death, or along the way to finding it, there was another complication that created more intrigue and allowed for more action and character development. I also found that their romantic involvement was a bit sudden and as a result seemed a bit unbelievable. Building up some precursory tension in this area would also help.

David’s character could also do with a few more appearances. He seems to be loaded with such importance in the beginning and this then trails off mostly. Some more insertions with further character development could provide more interest and reader investment in the character.

The angle of shape-shifting humanoids inspiring fear and suffering through religion and wars is interesting, but the narrative arcs built on this premise are a bit confusing. At times this novel seems like an adventure-thriller, others a science fiction, and sometimes a revisionist history. These strands don’t come together effectively and it might be worth revisiting in the novel through a single genre vision.

This novel would need a lot of structural reworking in particular with characterisation, pace and plot to reach a position where it could be considered for possible publication. Whilst the beginning of this novel still needs work as well, this is where the voice is the strongest and it just seems to unfortunately lose its way from there.

bojan wrote 1399 days ago

It is a bit of a let down, after 5 months of hard work at Authonomy, to receive a vague review, only a quarter of a page long. At least I would have expected to get some specific critiques - not the line as "This novel would need a lot of structural reworking in particular with characterisation, pace and plot..."
I understand that HP editors are overworked, exhausted, busy with other 'real' work they do, but still it would be fair to honor our efforts at Authonomy, if they plan to keep it as a respectible long term project. Otherwise, people will loose interest.
I am sure there are editors at HP who were more suitable to read my MS, since I spoke to Jane Johnson (one of the main consultants to HP editors) in April and the only critique she gave me was that my chapters were too long and that I shouldn't make my heroin so beautiful.
I find it very hard to accept critiques such as that there is nothing going on in the book apart from search for The Book of Death and that I should put more action in it.
There is more plot in my first 3 chapters then in the current HP's top 20 bestsellers together...and it does not stop there :)
There is more action in The Twelfth House then in all Chuck Norris, Jackie Chen, Silvester Stalone and Arnold Swartzenegger movies together.

Maybe I am wrong but one gets the feeling that the work has been assigned to overloaded with work junior editor who has no interest in and experience, knowledge and comprehension to deal with multi-layered intellectual adventure, The Twelfth House represents. Their main aim was to check this task off as done by skip-reading through (obvoiosly, if they have no interest in the subject).

Perhaps, I am wrong. Perhaps, it is the market that dictates what should be published these days: Books 'written' by foodballers, what this or that celebrity ate last night, etc.

My appologies to the editor, if I was a bit harsh.

Thank God, there is an e-publishing and possibility not to depend of wheather the junior editor understands what is your work about and wheather there was a publishing slot for the genre.
On the other hand, it is also THE REAL reality check - the number of copies sold would be the REAL judge of a value of anyones work and would give an idea to an author on how close to the truth their subjective opinion is.

All the best to all of you :)
Bojan (The Twelfth House)

Suzannah Burke wrote 1505 days ago

Stunning....this is not just a work of fiction it is clearly a labour of love. The premise is huge..covering enormous amounts of territory...and the writing does it justice, beautifully. This reader completely drawn in to the plot, drawn in by a marvelous narrative, and pacing that doesn't let up. Chapter after chapter I read the intricate workmanship of a master craftsman, the characterization wonderfully fleshed out so that all of them came alive vividly...John...in Munich,
Aleksandra in London...listening to Vivaldi and experiencing a sudden fainting spell whilst looking at a sword in a shop window...we push into the modelling world...

Then we switch to Egypt --to the professor and the government agent...and the black cube which holds "The Truth"

The work is grand...and writen with the style of a Grand story-teller. Bravo.
Backed with delight
Suzannah Burke

lynn clayton wrote 1618 days ago

Bojan, this is an intelligent thriller for intelligent readers. In fact, it's brilliant. You know so much and, on top of all this, write divinely. Not fair. Shelved.Lynn

Andrew W. wrote 1615 days ago

The Twelfth House

Hi Bojan,

This is cool, Dan Brown but with brains! I mean it, pacy, great characters and intriguing from the beginning, in lavish settings, what more can I say. Accomplished, professional tight writing, we could all take a leaf out of your book in terms of a disciplined approach to writing. Deeply impressed, I am a fan.

Best wishes and good luck - Andrew W.
(Sanctuary's Loss)

R.A. Battles wrote 1615 days ago

Bojan,

This is a very nice work of historical fiction. Your amazing choice of words figuratively makes the sights, scenes, and events jump off the computer screen.

I had already decided to back you after reading the first chapter, but what follows when Aleksandra walks toward the windows in Chapter 2 was enough for me to stopped reading and shelve you.

I’ve backed over 400 books since joining this site in May. Your novel is one of the best I’ve read, no joke. I will be reading more of it.

Rodney

RichardBard wrote 976 days ago

Hi Bojan!

Since you haven’t been to Authonomy for a while, I hope it’s okay that I’m sending this through your book comment:

I’d like to thank you for backing BRAINRUSH (a Thriller) last year. Because of you it hit the Authonomy Number-1 slot, attracted an agent, and landed a film option. Now that’s a brain-rush! The formal book launch is September 1st and the sequel will be released in December. None of this would have been possible without your help. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Sincerely,
Richard Bard, BRAINRUSH

PS. If you want a good laugh, check out the temporary book-trailer video on the BRAINRUSH website. It’s there as a placeholder for the upcoming professional video. The current one features children and it’s guaranteed to make you smile! And yes, the younger kid on the screen is really me. You can see the video at www.RichardBard.com. The link is also on my Authonomy profile page. While you’re there, check out the “Feel the Rush” promotion that will get you BRAINRUSH plus 2 FREE thrillers from the Kindle Top-20 PAID Bestseller list – yes, really!

PCreturned wrote 1082 days ago

Ah I remember this. I can see why I backed it during your race to the desk. ;)

I love the idea of the shape-shifters. So chilling. Brrr. And John's developing power's fascinating. The action-packed adventure that unreels is wonderful. :)

I'd back this again if I could, ;)

Pete

blueboy wrote 1336 days ago

I would disagree with your commnt that "the number of copies sold would be the REAL judge of a vlalue..." of a book. many frivolous genre books are popular. they sell and make a good deal of money, but few,if any, have any literary value. conversely, , you can have a thoughful literay book--one that speaks to the human condition, and iforms on it in some way--that may not sell as well. but which book is more valuable to the literary tradition? that depend ultimately on what is moast valuable to the individual, or in general to the society. only in a society were capitalism (money) has become the end all, be all, human existence ( a kind of of headless monster), is cash the considered the only "REAL " standard for the value of all things.

MajaO wrote 1343 days ago
Eunice Attwood wrote 1349 days ago

I love this strory and congratulate you on a job well done. Happy to back it. Hop you take a look at The Temple Dancer. Eunice

Norma J. Alvarez wrote 1387 days ago

I hadn’t visited this site for quite some time and thought I’d find that your wonderfully written book would have made its way to the publisher. I’m ready for the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say. When you get published or self publish, I’ll be a buyer and vocal supporter. Very Best, Norma J. Alvarez

blueboy wrote 1389 days ago

To be honest, I do not think the review was in any way "vague." You task editors greatly when you ask them to "honor" the efforts of the writers here when the vast majority of the effort in question is bent toward swapping backings rather than giving constructive, detailed, critical feed back and/or editing manuscripts. Out of every fifty people I ask for critical feedback, I may get one person who half way tries to provide some useful feedback. Most feed back is quick one-liners given in hopes of getting support in return. I think the best resolution to the problem would be to stop allowing the writers here to contact each other until after a book has been backed. In other words, no writer could contact any particular writer until they have backed that writer's book. I believe this would go a long way toward increasing the quality of material advancing to the desk as it remove any obligation on both ends to back for any reason other than the quality of the material. Just a thought.

name falied moderation wrote 1390 days ago

Backed Bojan the book cover grabbed me and my goodness your pitch promised so much.. My book has certainly taken off, but I would really value some comments so I may hone my skill more
Denise
The Letter

bojan wrote 1399 days ago

It is a bit of a let down, after 5 months of hard work at Authonomy, to receive a vague review, only a quarter of a page long. At least I would have expected to get some specific critiques - not the line as "This novel would need a lot of structural reworking in particular with characterisation, pace and plot..."
I understand that HP editors are overworked, exhausted, busy with other 'real' work they do, but still it would be fair to honor our efforts at Authonomy, if they plan to keep it as a respectible long term project. Otherwise, people will loose interest.
I am sure there are editors at HP who were more suitable to read my MS, since I spoke to Jane Johnson (one of the main consultants to HP editors) in April and the only critique she gave me was that my chapters were too long and that I shouldn't make my heroin so beautiful.
I find it very hard to accept critiques such as that there is nothing going on in the book apart from search for The Book of Death and that I should put more action in it.
There is more plot in my first 3 chapters then in the current HP's top 20 bestsellers together...and it does not stop there :)
There is more action in The Twelfth House then in all Chuck Norris, Jackie Chen, Silvester Stalone and Arnold Swartzenegger movies together.

Maybe I am wrong but one gets the feeling that the work has been assigned to overloaded with work junior editor who has no interest in and experience, knowledge and comprehension to deal with multi-layered intellectual adventure, The Twelfth House represents. Their main aim was to check this task off as done by skip-reading through (obvoiosly, if they have no interest in the subject).

Perhaps, I am wrong. Perhaps, it is the market that dictates what should be published these days: Books 'written' by foodballers, what this or that celebrity ate last night, etc.

My appologies to the editor, if I was a bit harsh.

Thank God, there is an e-publishing and possibility not to depend of wheather the junior editor understands what is your work about and wheather there was a publishing slot for the genre.
On the other hand, it is also THE REAL reality check - the number of copies sold would be the REAL judge of a value of anyones work and would give an idea to an author on how close to the truth their subjective opinion is.

All the best to all of you :)
Bojan (The Twelfth House)

ray burke wrote 1407 days ago

Hi Bojan,

Finally got around to reading a few chapters of The Twelfth House. Love the quick-fire chapters, gets you straight into the book. Hooked from the beginning with that karate match and OBE segment. Can't wait to read on. Good luck, and cheers from a former archaeological student at UCL.

Ray
The Starguards

Quenntis wrote 1419 days ago

I enjoyed reading your work. I did karate and reached my junior black belt when I was sixteen. You describe perfectly that feeling of fear in facing an opponent you know is better than yourself. Congrats on your star. Best of luck with this. Q

Vanessa Darnleigh wrote 1433 days ago

Very readable so far...note: last few lines above- .'..fool yourself with it...interested in it...listen to it...listen to it again...if it turns out...' Hope that's helpful...good luck
Stewart

Sorcha wrote 1436 days ago

Fabulous. I've only read the first three chapters, but I love the style, the introduction to players and I hope to set aside the time to finish reading it later. I do have a bit of an issue with your short pitch, I know there's a limit to the number of words but it sounds like a bad translation, or incomplete sentences.

Backed with pleasure.

Sorcha.

pwinkle wrote 1441 days ago

I read through the first 2 chapters and I think you have a good grasp of the pace of your story. I found the fight to be well presented and the final line a good lightening of the the drama. The second chapter started in much the same style and I immediately felt like I was getting information dump. I wanted more dialogue but then you gave it to me. Well done. Backed.

April Archer wrote 1445 days ago

Wow! I'm not even faintly surprised that this made it to the editor's desk--it's a superb feat of imagination, and a pleasure to read!
-Archer

elightstorm wrote 1447 days ago

I really enjoyed what I read. It shows the beginning of a great story! I was a little distracted by some over use of adjectives, especially in the introduction of Aleksandra. I get that she is an extremely beautiful woman who knows how to dress. Perhaps a little more showing, and a little less telling with adjectives would help enhance the story and not distract. Just a thought.

Great story!

Ellen

Elizabeth Wolfe wrote 1451 days ago

Congratulations! And best of luck with the editorial board - I hope it leads to publication for you.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

Sandra Hamer wrote 1451 days ago

Congratulations!!!!

JohnBrown wrote 1451 days ago

Bojan well done with this book - it's up there with the creme of the crop! Your writing style and way with words is clever and inspiring. Good luck tonight - BACKED

acmlee wrote 1451 days ago

Very good. Good description of the fight in chap 1 - always difficult to describe a good fight scene - and good dialogue throughout. Can see why you're top 5! Keep up the good work
Adrian Lee

ReynaCooper wrote 1451 days ago

This is a incredibly well written book - you have my backing.
Reyna

PeterRobins wrote 1451 days ago

Bojan - good luck tonight.

I read your book a while back and backed it straight away - it's brilliant!

Peter

MichaelDaviddi wrote 1451 days ago

Bojan - Your book filled me with enjoyment - with its swift movement between familiar locations and time periods, history and the modern day collide through a story that spans the ages - take a look everyone, this is one author we should definitely watch.

LuisBianchi wrote 1451 days ago

Twelfth House

I read plenty pages and enjoy very much Aleksandra character - sounds like someone I met before...

Luis

RivardJanes wrote 1451 days ago

Hi Bojan

I can confirm for anyone that has lost bandwidth before finishing this book that this is worth re-logging on for. Time and time again on this websit I come across great books and this is certainly up there with the best of them.

Shelved

James Rivard

SuzzaneCoch wrote 1451 days ago

Seldom does a book start so strong and have a pay off, but this one did. Lost civilizations, secret agents and characters with great relationships ensure this is a gripping read.
Suzzane

davidgautier wrote 1451 days ago

Hi Bojan

I've been reading for an hour and a half and I'm fairly sure this book will keep me in the whole night. Backed

David

UteKatzshh wrote 1451 days ago

One of my close friends introduced me to this site and I've never been more grateful. In the last month I have managed to read 4 books available on Autonomy and yours is one that has been discussed the most amongst my circle. We regularly hold book clubs and our session that reviewed your work was one of the most fun and interesting we've had in a long time. You guide the reader through the storyline is such a clever and intelligent way - never a dull moment in sight. I most definitely back you and wish you all the best.

Ute

RobertSokol wrote 1451 days ago

Hi Bojan

The Twelfth House is pure genuis - I put the book down and all I could think was WOW! and I want more... I hope you have already started work on your next book as it's only a matter of time before you're snapped up and will have demanding fans (like me) begging for more.

Thank you for giving me a thrilling read
Robert

SusieGulick wrote 1451 days ago

Dear Bojan, I found where I commented & backed your book 37 days ago, but am commenting & backing it again, in case that will help. I could find no place where you commented or backed either of my 2 memoir books. Would you please? Tit-for-tat? Love, Susie :)

GrasbergerUli wrote 1451 days ago

Out of all the days and times my internet has decided to play up now (damn you British weather!!!) Before I lose connection again, allow me to leave a comment and congratulate you on your brilliant book. I usually go for lighthearted and easy reads therefore wasn't sure how I would warm to your book after reading the synopsis. Anyway, I have to say you gave me a lovely surprise! You've managed to capture humour, suspense, action and much more in your book and have taken me out of my comfort zone and I thank you for that. Backed and good luck tonight.

MareCapelle wrote 1451 days ago

the clock is ticking and its clear you have a big fanbase already. Apologies for not leaving a comment earlier, but like many other readers it seems, I've too left it to the last minute - sorry ;-). Anyway, just wanted to say good luck and I hope you make it to the Ed's desk. I truly enjoyed your book and hope you get published and produce many more great books like this one.
Mare

WolfRiemer wrote 1451 days ago

Twelth House is stunning piece of work - I've enjoyed every minute of it. The way in which you introduce your characters, going down to the smallest detail helping the reader envisage the scene and setting is a true work of art. The multitude of stories and variety of characters ensures that the reader never gets bored and by taking us through the ancient worlds through to modern day, I've also felt that I've learnt quite a bit on this journey.

Backed and congratulated
Mr Riemer

EricCarbonnier wrote 1451 days ago

Twelth House

what a story! Please tell me you have more masterpieces up your sleeve. Backed - I'm a big fan!

Well done and good luck
Eric

BernardBajolet wrote 1451 days ago

i'm so glad i signed up, a great collection of books...but this one wins hands down! distant locations..strong characters and gripping storylines - Bravo

evapalm wrote 1451 days ago

I love this! just wanted to stop by and say well done and that I'm definitely backing you. My internet connection is temperamental so hoping to be able to finish your book in the next day or so.

HelmutHajek wrote 1451 days ago

I sat down on the train just now to enjoy a really interesting read. It made the journey flyby and befor I knew it I had arrived at my destination - this is a rarity espeacially for a Friday night and a bank holiday weekend at that! Going to back you now and continue with your book later today - if I could drive and read I would. Good Luck Bojan - you deserve a place on the editor's desk

PeterRoberts wrote 1451 days ago

Lovely work Bojan - this is a brilliant book - gripping, intelligent and beautifully executed.

Backed

Peter

Royth.Francis wrote 1451 days ago

This is an incredible piece of work... Thank you for making my week - Backed and good luck
Routh Francis

RoyDouglas1978 wrote 1451 days ago

Munich, Cairo, London, Giza, New York - is there any city / country you don't visit in this book? I feel like I have gone on a rollercoaster and come out a new person at the other end. I would love for this to be made into a film - Davinci Code, Bourne Ultimatum - eat your heart out!

RundallNick wrote 1451 days ago

I'm impressed - I have read a couple of books on this site and this one has to be amongst the best of them. Your writing style is gripping and the way in which you switch between the past and present day shows the writers skill and intelligence - you have clearly researched your background and managed to create some very interesting and diverse characters.

Ken.Baldock wrote 1451 days ago

(Twelth House - Bojan Zecevic)

Congratulations Bojan - this is a brilliant and very promising book. Good Luck!

Ken

GodfreyPayne wrote 1451 days ago

Hi Bojan

You have a lovely way with words and the way in which you go into detail when describing scenes and characters really helps the reader envisage what's happening - I can see this made into a film.

All the best
Godfrey Payne

terezaamran wrote 1451 days ago

Your work is timeless - have to agree with all of the positive comments you've recieved here and more. Just started reading chapter 5 and already know that am going to enjoy this thoroughly. BACKED, BACKED, BACKED

EmilHregg wrote 1451 days ago

Twelth House

I've read this book twice now and I've discovered new things I didn't spot the first time round. This is a well layered book with a solid plot - Good luck Bojan

Emil

lajostaba wrote 1451 days ago

Hi Bojan

I was interested after only one paragraph and captivated after a whole chapter. This is a thrilling read - A star work. Good luck

Taba

kathrinEbeling wrote 1451 days ago

Lovely work Bojan - It has been a while since I've read a book with such a grabbing storyline. I literally was on the edge of my seat througout - Backing you as I type...

S.C. Thompson wrote 1451 days ago

Compelling! A good yarn spun at the fringes of history and science, where mythology suddenly becomes unsettling fact. With believable artifacts and well substantiated plot drivers, this is a mind-expanding blend of intrigue and ancient, mythical hyper-science. Cutting-edge! Backed, of course.
SC
(Viene La Tormenta)

Captain Haddocks Dirty Secret wrote 1451 days ago

simple and effective reading...if my eyes could leave my skull they would go on a mission to find volume 2.

Captain Haddocks Dirty Secret....

Moya Petra wrote 1451 days ago

Initial Chapters grab attention, switch it, but never let it flag for an instant. Gripping! My only disappointment would be that the girl has to be the super-model super-beauty cossetted in luxury living. I'd really enjoy reading this story through, though, as the esoteric elements seem fascinating - but I'm really stuck time and internet-wise till my next connected interlude. Moya