Barstow

I like the concept of Barstow, but I was hoping for a more original voice - I know that's vague. Although the writing style is fairly economic (you try not to over-tell the story), I would like it to be more so - even more sparse in it's presentation. Great idea.

Dale

Extremely interesting, doesn't slow down for a minute. I like the fast, crisp writing. I had to reread things at times because my brain said, "wait, what just happened?" Backed and on my watchlist :)

Good, solid writing with characters who interact well. A fascinating look into a world far removed from my own. Well constructed and thought out. Happy to back. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Dear Iain, I love your Mojave/Barstow stranded adventure - I've read in the paper where people actually die there when there cars breaks down on sideroads. You made it become real. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

I've been to Barstow (rather passed through it on this route from L.A. to Vegas) so your pitch popped out at me. Like your writing style a lot. Made this a fast and entertaining read. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Mr McLean, your first chapter reads well. A well-written, smooth piece of work. Nothing to nitpick there.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

You have an excellent pitch which draws the reader right into the story or straight to the cash register would be even better! The story proper is extremely well crafted and polished! I give it an A+BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

Well-written first chapter. I really have nothing to nitpick in there. I'll back this book on the premise that the remaining chapters are just as solid.

Regards,

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

What strikes me most about this is the way you control the information; what you reveal to the reader, what you delay in telling the reader; what you don’t tell. I think it works well.

Your narrator’s voice is good, makes us connect with the MC right away.

This has the feel of a good story. Well done and backed!

Hullo Ian. Ah, the film industry. What a world! Already shelved and backed now. please consider my book
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Hi Ian really good read, got straight into this, I love your narrators tone, its kind of sarcastic and almost reads like a stream of conciousness as if they are talking off the top of their head. There are some interesting insights into celebrity culture. I found this read really entertaining so far and on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

I couldn't help thinking of Nicholas Cage in chaps 1 and 3 - somewhere between Leaving Las Vegas and Wild at Heart. A really great voice and some memorable lines eg. I wish my colon was as clean as her sump. Chapter 2 has the best title I've heard in ages - took me a moment to get it, but when I said it out loud, just... wow! Plenty more positive to say but I'll leave that to others.
Cheers,
Simon

Loving this so far. Backed with pleasure, Sana

Iain, I read the first chapter and it knocked my socks off (that's only the second time I've said that since being on this site). You are a highly intelligent and insightful writer. Your snappy, thought provoking dialogue forces the reader to raise the thinking bar within their head. This stuff is so entertaining I actually didn't mind reading the entire paragraph that tells what Robert had for brunch. Ahhh, it just dawned on me -- do I detect a bit of the Hiasson influence here? Truly OUTSTANDING work. Best of luck. Backed.
Thomas J Winton
"Beyond Nostalgia"

I stopped by to read and comment to fulfill the promise to do so on all writers who backed Mirror in the Sky by Nick Poole.

Are you excited yet? thrilled? mildly curious? Couldn't give a rats ass?

I started with the intention to read ch1,2, and 3 if it hooked me.

Just finished 13 all you have posted... and am addicted...need more, stuff the anti-depressants {Which I do Take}
I'm on a Barstow High...

Why has it been 34 days since your last comment?

backed and seriously need to read more.
Suzannah Burke

Indeed I admire a literary venture that takes on the media, the anti-depressant industry, drug addiction, and erectile disfunction. This is well done. I loved chapter 3, which goes cold turkey on so many levels. The interior monolog is well done, characterization is consistent. The writing is crisp and well done with a richness in language and imagery. This is a definite must read. Shelved.

P. S. Dunn
Wheels of Fire

Good story, well told and I wish I had time to read more but I am going to back it after having read the first chapter. Have a look at mine, Three Stayed Home, a WW2 adventure and love story. I hope you like it and I know it needs some editing but I was all fired to get it published . JohnJ

A very accessible style. Grabs you from the outset. I love some of your chapter titles. You have a very nice front cover and an effective pitch. I agree that it's appropriate to place this work in the category of literary fiction - well done on some accomplished writing.

Every good wish for your success here on authonomy. I'm backing you.

Alexander *The Wisdom Tree and the Dormouse*

Robert's voice is one of the most engaging that I have stumbled across on this site.
Right from the get go I was completely enveloped in the tale he was telling me.
It starts off on the right foot, chugging along at a great pace and holding my attention.
There is humor in this. there is mystery and there is an MC who is flawed, but on the road to recovery.
I think I stood up and took noticed when I read, I have a terrible sense that nothing ever changes.
This is just a line that stuck out for me.
For me I found the setting oddly perfect. These gritty sin riddled towns and Robert, looking at life different.
Enjoyed the sharp quick lines, which motored the piece along.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Barstow is a distinctive and colourful offering. I liked the quirky voice of the narrator, though it took me a while to 'tune in' to his thoughts and get used to the way they leap about. This made the read harder work for me than I normally expect. As far as I can tell this style does seem to suit your target 'pop culture' genre, though, as does the idiom in which your characters express themselves, so I'm backing this. If I have one small criticism it is that IMHO you need more dialogue here and there to add pace and balance. Good luck.

Hi Lain and Robert. Just stumbled across your book. Thought I'd give it a read.
Excellent pitch. Good job on that. In my opinion, this is a well written work. The beginning is very good and the story develops well. You treat your characters nicely. Their feelings and thought are well defined and I think readers can identify and flow with them. All in all, from what I've read, I think this will be a fine story. On my shelf. The best of luck with this. I believe it will do well here.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

vivid and commanding.
V
Hawaiian Orchid/Ginger

I read the ending chapters. Yes, I was curious. If the first chapters are as good as the ending ones, I'd say you have quite a winning novel happening. Good luck with it and it earns a spot on my shelf with confidence!

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

As a first time writer, i find it hard to crit, a book, so I will say why I liked it, I liked the plot and it flowes along nicerly and it is well writin with a lot of imagination, i have no dout this book will get to the editers desk, no problem, Backed.

John Foxley manor

I read later chapters. Fast-moving, sardonic, stream of consciousness (a cross between Joyce and Tarantino) with an idiosyncratic turn of phrase that made me laugh on more than one occasion eg 'commie cart'. Backed.

These added chapters go down a lot easier than the first few. I'm feeling a little happier about having backed this.

I decided to read Barstow after reviewing the comments. I must say there are some intriguing reviews, resounding applause and a few considered questions about what exactly you're trying to say with this work. Having never spent time in Los Angeles, I feel you've given me an insiders view to a city's inhabitants who live just behind the screen of superficiality and who desperately chase substance. I would like to read more to fully understand the world your characters inhabit as it has whetted my taste buds and left me thirsting for more.
Backed!
Dave

Iain,

There's a lot of clever wordplay here, with the texture and density of German rye. I loved the "mutts nuts," a wholly new one on me. It requires a lot of concentration just to penetrate your style. I some ways I find it fascinating that you can write so much about so little, but attempting to imagine what you're trying to say, in a more holistic sense, I find myself at a loss. I am not sure whether I am dazzled by darlings, baffled by bullshit, or totally out of my depth.

Perhaps it's the inside Hollywood nature of the stories or the characters that I don't have the knowledge to appreciate fully. Or perhaps it's about what a bullshit place Los Angeles really is. Your bio would seem to indicate that this is the way you feel about it. I backed it when it first came out and kept it on my shelf, sensing that it would do well here. I seem to have been right, so far, but I'm not certain why.

I keep asking myself if you are writing to impress, in the Hollywood way, rather than to be understood. Given that Robert Eisner seems to live on anti-depressants, perhaps life in Barstow would look good to him after L.A.. Daisy Anne Gree, has a novel on a similar theme. If you need to get Hollywood out of your system, Australia may do you some good.

Tim Chambers
Chili con Carnality

I like this. It's smart, as in clever, sharp, witty, educated. I like the evocation of Dr. Ordinaire, guardian angel of all those suffering, or wishing they suffered dissociation effects, wandering through Rancho los Feliz on the Rocket. Both our books begin with the arrival of an envelope so I'm bound to say it's a brilliant start.

You've had many comments on your opening, so I chose your chapter 6 to enjoy. "I fully endorse free speech, but find myself amused at how my diction grows arid and sparse when drop-outs tell me what's wrong with the world." -- It's lines like that that make this shine. Well earned praise. Good luck to you.

*runs out to find a pastrami burrito*

If this is the standard of writing I should come to expect from Authonomy authors then I am well impressed. You've set the bar high gentlemen.

It's not often that I get a feeling for exactly who the character is is quickly and in the case of Bob, I have to say you've captured my interested from the get go. The world you create around him is a Los Angeles that literally morphs from the page into the room with me as I read. Top stuff. Thank-you for this journey! Backed!

An interesting, complicated book. The main character ('Rob. Robert. Mr Eisner.' Never Bob.) is fascinating. His mind jumps about in a way which is exhilarating and sometimes confusing, but he usually manages to explain himself in time. The pitch tells us that he has been involved in some strange events. Meantime, you hold our interest purely with Robert's personality. The setting is well drawn, beautifully conveyed to us by a wealth of detail without actual description as such. A book to hold the attention. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Hi Ian!

I'm not sure if it's the Vegas reference or the hint of humor mixed with catastrophic Murphy's Law, but after reading the pitch, this reminds me of the movie The Hangover. Since I laughed until I cried in that movie, I'll tell you that's a good thing, and made me want to dive right into the book... Your pitch is well written - it gives a nice overview of the story, defines the main character (Robert) and his upcoming plights, gives just enough intrigue to hook the reader. Great job! One nit - in the last paragraph, I think "roman" should be capitalized.

Inside, your writing style is edgy and engaging. I love the fact that you're not afraid to write in the first person - this allows you to use short, choppy sentences, incomplete sentences, and it flows fine. Feels like internal monologue. You use exotic words such as thujone, boulangerie, serviette, existentialism - which gives the story a richness... Yet you ground the story with everyday phrases like complete bullshit, fecal brown, f-ing awesome bread - keeps it real for the reader.

Naomi - what a great section of description for her! This is all very funny, but her part was especially clever to me.

Couple of nits:
-"aqua marine" - I think it's one word (aquamarine), at least that's what my dictionary is telling me
-"passers-by" - again, one word (no hyphen) - passersby

This is really very witty, and a great premise - one that should captivate a huge audience looking for a good read. I'm happy to back this and wish you the best of luck!

Kim
Invisible Justice

I like the idea of this being "An inexorable odyssey." I can see your acknowledged influences straight away, rather annoyingly you've already quoted them and thereby deprived me of a rare insightful comment! This is an ambitious project, first-person narrative as well, and I'm fascinated by it. You're a talented writer with the ability to cope with a great many styles and yet you've chosen to go in a direction which will polarise opinion. That's very laudable and I'm hugely impressed by your wild imagination and refusal to conform to an accepted platform. Gonzo, indeed.
Great pitches and much to commend. Backed.
Jared.

The asparagus thing - would depend on whether he can smell it or not (obviously he can but maybe she can't)......it only smells when you ACTUALLY pee. Sorry, this is going wildly off topic but seemed a sad reason not to pursue a relationship... ;)
Lots to like here, great world-weary voice from your MC. I liked the interchanges between Ben and Eric and I loved the idea of the landlord sitting in on the residents' meeting.
I'll be honest, it's not really my kind of read but that doesn't mean it's not well done.
I'm happy to back you.
Jane
WALKER

wow! this book takes prisoners, captivates, and leaves you gagging for more. a fine debut sirs!

What a cool voice you have captured in this book! I was fascinated within three paragraphs and wanted to know more. Give us more - top work dude.

Rarely do i back someone before i have even finished the first chapter. You have captured my life so well, that i am thinking of taking your mc's characters world and showing it to my therapist. I am serious.

The real smile coming from within... not the cracking of the mask. The concept of no feeling... and having come back to reality after a timeless period that can stretch for months, even years. To taste reality - to see what others see... oh, and yes, to act quickly while you have your life back. Beautiful.

Your writing serves you well - whoever wrote this bit.

BACKED


PS.. from the setting, i take peyote will be involved...?
PPS... i did read more and liked it.

What a long, strange WONDERFUL trip it is!!! Shelved. CW (To Save the Sun)

Excellent writing! This is truly high class material. Best of luck, Jedward (Brünnhilde)

I was riveted to each word and there is so much to love about this.

I particularly loved how you describe the nervousness of being with Naomi and how it equated to being eleven on the bus with the pressure of the first kiss... I related to this feeling as I did many of your narrative which you have a flair for.

I was suitably hooked and would read on.

Backed

Jo xx

Spoilt

Iain

I like first person narrative....I've done the same thing myself, so I pay special attention when I read the work of someone else in the same style....It's hard not to keep saying 'I this. I that' you've managed it well.......

Sometimes I thought the speaking Robert and the narrator Robert did not have the same voice......
Robert the narrator,,,,says.....I have . I had .....but the speaking Robert is more informal in his speech.....I'll, she'd , .....The speaking Robert would say.....I've & I'd.......

I read a bit out loud to be sure before I left this comment.....You may not agree.....

Great premise and fabulous plot, which seemed well under way by end of chapter 2.....Best of luck with this....
shelved.

Weird writing in a nice kind of way.

Happy to shelve this one.

Melxx
Impeding Justice

I found the pitch rather convoluted and difficult to follow, perhaps because it's been over-condensed to fit the word limit. It could do with having some of the detail removed and just leave behind a sufficient number of hooks to get a browser to become a reader. That said, I found the book to be most engaging. I like the strong POV and the zany imagination, with touches of dry humour, and self-deprecating introspection. I think this is the kind of book to win a cult following: not everyone will 'get it', but those who do will love it.. Backed with pleasure. Best wishes, Tony.

Superb writing.
BACKED.

Awesome writing. I would start with "I like to come to Figaro's... " and the following para. I think these set the scene better than the comments about panic attacks.... Tell us where we are first. Otherwise, fabulous.
Frank

SHELVED!

JC
The Obergemau Key

A fascinating insight into another world. I look forward to my first visit to LA next year.

In some ways, the style is evocative of the Kerouac era, many moons ago. I liked the underlying humour and the introspection of the narrator and felt myself warming to him. A good start.

All this, of course, is before the story, as described in the synopsis, really starts, so I look forward to an enjoyable read.

Backed.

Marko (Brief Encounters)

This is a lovely interesting chatty read, a very distictive American voice, one that's used to talking. I felt at home in another world. And all the while there's the mystery of why and how this speaker's emotions have been turned off. I found this very entertaining. Backed with enthusiasm.
BADD