Beyond Men and Monsters: V1

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=14062

Matt,

I would have backed "Beyond Men & Monsters" just for the superhero element. However, you also have a great story and writing style. Backed.
If you don't mind, would you check out my book, "The Wild, Wild Quest"? I appreciate any and all comments/feedback that I can get. (By the way, I think you'll like the name of one of my characters.)

Best of luck,
J. A. Johnson
(The Wild, Wild Quest)
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=13246

Great imagination, creativity, and innovative MC happening here. Something like this should have been around when I was in my teens. I enjoyed what I read thus far. Shelved.

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

I really love your premise. I totally new take on the superhero/invincible story... I was endeared to your MC immediately and I would read on.

I couldn't see anything I could help with comments here as you work as nothing stood out to me as a reader that I would change... I am reading out of genre but I'm really glad I found this.

Backed

Jo xx

Spoilt

As a self confessed geek and superhero fanatic I had to check this out. I have to say that there is not much more I can add to the previous comments. This is a genuine superhero story of our time. I like the style and voice you use.

Hi Matt!

Well, I had to love this from the start, since both of our books deal with super powers! But yours is a really nice, fresh spin on the Superman story. Jesse seems very much like the old-fashioned Clark Kent - rumpled hair, frumpy suit covering his muscular build... I love where this book starts, and see that there's another one in the works - can't wait to see where #2 takes us!

This is nice, written in the first person. It does a good job of connecting the reader with Jesse, get inside his mind. The voice you use for him is straight-forward, frank, honest - seems very real and down to earth.

Love the line about the his job being so boring "it makes those construction workers who hold the stop and go signs seem like gladiator combat in comparison." That made me smile - very funny!

Paragraph 4 - I believe year round should have a hyphen (year-round).

Love the use of your language - "rhetorical type of person" / exponentially / impoverished ... Is this geared toward YA? They'll love this story, and words and phrases like I just mentioned will stretch their imagination!

Mom seems very real. Her reaction to the powers is pretty typical protective mother - she doesn't want her child to be taken away from her. I get that, as a mom. In return, you get a sense that Jesse is sympathetic, caring towards his mother. You don't spell it out in info dump, but you get a sense of their closeness.

I took notes as I wrote, and other than the hyphen instance, I couldn't find anything to nit. I do try to offer help when I can, but you've polished this so much, I'm not able to give much more than a well-deserved attaboy! Great job with this - I'm more than happy to back this!

Kim
Invisible Justice

I love this idea! It seems almost like the batman theory- a real person! Backed with pleasure!

Brittany
My Last Notes

Jesse Keane...Jesse Custer?

All Star Superman?

I love superheroes, especially applied to the real world. I think I would like to see an actual scene much earlier rather than be told all by the narrator but it reads easily enough. So much so, that I will possibly come back to read more JUST TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS.

Highest praise I can give, ehen you think about it.

I really enjoyed this, the opening sets the scene well and is very humourous in places. I like the way you describe his job and that sometimes it is so boring, you compare it to the workmen with the stop and go signs. Excellent writing that flows very well and was very easy to read. Shelved already.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

Let me say upfront that SF and fantasy (for adults) are not something I read outside of Authonomy so I can't really offer detailed crit that is genre-specific. All I can do is tell you how it hit me as a reader. I think you write very well - the style is easy and nothing grammatical really snagged my read. I did wonder though that the doctor wasn't more suprised and didn't want to take it further....
My major concern though is that we have a huge amount of backstory here, in the first few chapters. It's interesting but I kept wanting to flick through it and get to the present day and the main narrative. Maybe it's material you could put aside and use for a later 'young superman' type YA book! For this though, I think we need to see him in the action (present day action) much sooner. We could be drip-fed bits of how his powers came about as the book progresses.
Just my thought and, as I say, I'm probably not the best reader for this.
I'm happy to back as your writing is strong and the premise is good.
Jane
WALKER

i like this allot, i love all thinks sci fi and this has the workings of a good sci fi story, keep it up

Matt

A cracking concept if true, dont know for the life of me where you got the idea for the plot, but I like it....

I made a few notes...

Read your opening deleting the following words:-

well
however
Anyway's
that ........ the that preceeding ......(I cannont remember )
but
that.............the that preceeding ....(much to mankind)

I enjoyed the read, but I though you had a few 'frills' here and there.....The words above were the ones I skimmed over....I didn't bother to write down anymore because you many not agree, and it takes my focus from the story....I read aloud for a couple of minutes, it helps me pick up the narrators voice......

Sci Fi & fantasy aren't really my take, so I steer from commenting too much on content,,,, am not much help there, and try to be of use in another way....

Best of luck with this,,,,shelved with pleasure.

Very interesting premise...engaging read..although I would rather have more dialogues. But overall, good work! Backed. Christi- The Delusion.

This is a new take on an old theme. In your genre, this story will do very well. There is a huge fascination with this type of fantasy book.

Best wishes

Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

You have an unusual style of writing I think. The only way I can describe it is naive - and I don't mean that in any way as an insult. It is very interesting. I don't really have much interest in "Superman" stories but I was intrigued by the soul searching of your MC. Hmmm all in all an entertaining and different read and for that I will happily back it - Cheers - Diane (3 things that might have happened)

Dear Matt,

The writing flows and is intriguing enough to draw the reader on into the unfolding events.
Jesse Keen has hidden superpowers, and a theory. He wants to save everyone. He envisions variations of himself, pondering how to use his life. Initially, only his mother's touch is able to penentrate his thick skin, but he discovers that it happens whenever love is involved.
In CH 4, Jesse is driven to act, saving the life of his best friend, Garret who is then given a demonstration of Jesse's power: leviation, invulnerability, slowing time ... Garret proves his friendhip, keeps the secret. Then the story takes off when Jesse's girlfriend is assaulted and raped.
Some vital moral and ethical questions are raised in Beyond Man and Monsters. You created a fascinating character to embody the theme in thrilling action,

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

There may be a few typos and such, but I have to say that this is the sort of story that I've been waiting for. For a while now Ive been looking for a superman-ish story where the 'superman' to be more man than super. Very well done, backed..

The premise is fantastic and I like the way you have chosen to tell the tale. However, I reckon this needs a good copy edit to get rid of a few of the typos and tighten the language a little. In the second para for example, 'Nor was I sent here from a dying planet..' sounds better when said aloud. I don't consider myself a very good editor, but there are many knowledgable folk on this site and I'm sure one or two will have some constructive feedback for you.

It's risky to start the story with "I". The reader needs to know who the character is, where they are, and why they should care. You resolve this with the "my name is" in the second paragraph, but I had to wonder if there wasn't a more effective hook that you could use. The line you have much later that "clark kent can't change the world" struck me. Perhaps there is something in that sort of opening statement that could set the tone and intrigue the reader in line with internal musings that you have.....ok....rambling.

I do like this character. Pondering the meaning of life and the value of religion vs. just believing in God. These are universal themes. Our place in this world is something we all consider from time to time and for that I think you will find a wide audience.

Chapter 3 starts with a nice strong opening line. I get another dimention of the character. Simple tasks are introduced and accomplished as the plot moves forward. Overall this is very readable and the character has a bit of that "everyman" element even though we know he's special.

Best of luck to you.

I think this is a superb story.
I love that your MC wants to make a difference.
The voice behind this is captivating.

There is a subtle humor here that held my attention and struck a chord with me.

BAcked
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Matt - very intriguing character - all powerful but so humble and worried due to his mother's worries that he's totally conflicted. I like the way you've brought in Garrett as the opposite personality type. Looks like it will be an interesting read. Shelved. CW (To Save The Sun)

Even though the very concept of 'world leader' worries me enormously, you are to be commended for the way you chart Jesse's journey, and the excellent quality of your writing. It is measured, well-paced, never short short on descriptive detail and, best of all, it really makes the reader think, and that is always a sign of good sci-fi. I'm sure this book will do well, and it has my backing. Best wishes, Tony.

Hello Matt!
I loved it! I couldn't stop reading and my eyes are paying the price for staying up way too late to read it all! The MC's dedication to using his powers for the greater good was inspiring. I loved how his first use of "power" was to help someone pay their taxes, no super powers needed, just a pure heart. If this guy were real, I'd want to marry him! The great thing about your writing is that he really feels like an accessible guy. I like this guy which is why I kept reading. Reading felt like when two people first meet and you want to know all about
each other. I want to know more about his powers, whys, hows. I like how you introduce each power and his matter-of-factly voice about something so extraordinary. The writing makes me feel like I'm actually talking to this character like an old friend telling me a story full of detail and color. I'm happy to have it on my bookshelf!

Hi Matt
Totally love this. It reads like a voice over on a movie, funny story telling, not blowing your own trumpet, a bit reminecent of The Wonder Years in style. Its a brilliant take on the whole superpowered being thing and how such a person would really be in the real world, he certainly wouldn't be pulling up his blue tights and red cape, no I think world domination would definately be more likely.
This flows really well, the writing is simple and natural.
Enjoyed and backed

hi
the narrative voice in this piece is really strong. the story moves along effortlessly and i found your work refreshing and gripping. shelved

Judith (Peaceweaver) (The Forest Dwellers)

As I keep reading on here, I'm actually finding things that I'm enjoying reading--like this. This is so much more believable, not over-the-top like other stories on here. Good writing doesn't mean being over-dramatic, good writing is creating strong characters with a strong voice, and I think you're doing it. It sure kept me reading.

I really enjoyed this story. I like that it is written in first person. I love that your super 'man' is unsure of how to use his powers. I enjoyed the back story and your voice in this is wonderful. Jesse is a great character and I connect with him and want him to succeed as a character. Great writing and good luck!

Backed by SD Gillen

Hi Matt

What great fun - shelved

Perhaps more vignettes/secenes inbetween the infomation dumps in the first two chapters would be a good idea.

Best of luck with this

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Cool idea. Backed.

Beyond Men and Monsters

Hi Matt,

Interesting idea to take Nietzsche’s will to power notion and turn it into flesh. The superman. I like the ambition of this idea but I was struggling as I read it to think of its audience. It begins with philosophy and moves rapidly into fantasy. I suppose the thing I struggled with the most is suspending my disbelief long enough to enable me to engage fully with the character. He is a superman and he looks like superman and he is an accountant who philosophizes about the world. I will have to come back and read some more before deciding if this idea is going to lift off, you have intrigued me certainly, your writing style is simple, discursive and pleasant enough but to be honest I wanted more bang for my buck in that first chapter.

He’s a superman, I wanted him to do superman-like things. Perhaps the info-dump about himself could come a little later. Anyway, welcome to this site and I wish you luck here.

Best wishes
Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss)