Book Jacket

 

rank 204
word count 14113
date submitted 25.12.2009
date updated 20.06.2010
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Fantasy,...
classification: moderate
incomplete

The Poison of a Smile

Steven Jensen

'She will take her pleasure in your destruction...and it will be everything you always desired.'

 

The Beautiful One cometh...

Alatiel, Mistress of Death, an illusion made flesh.
She is not a ghost. She is not a vampire. She is you...

THE POISON OF A SMILE: A LIE BY STEVEN JENSEN

When Patrick Morvell and David Leigh are lured to the haunted town of Carliton in search of their beloved Helena, they find only mystery and malice. And Cristian Salazar, the connoisseur of torments, master of the creature that Helena has become, awaits their company...

'An evil reminiscent of the biblical Plague of the Firstborn.'

'Beautiful...and ghastly.'

'A mystical entrancement.'

'Baroque, rich and strange.'


The Poison of a Smile: New Trailer:
http://stevejensen.eu/media-2

Full-size book cover:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v73/lslneon/ORIG3DN4.png


Acknowledgements: To B. Lloyd, Dana Lorelle, Gev Sweeney, Kes, Leah Petersen, Bob Gracie, Lisa Plowman, Shoshanna Einfeld, Maria Boosey, Valora Gray, Violet Wells: thank you.

NOTE: Chapter Ten includes an interview with Steve Jensen conducted by Alexandra Riley, author of the wonderful 'Victoria Sponge' and 'The Emerald Tablet'.

 
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Steven Jensen in conversation with Alexandra Riley

Steve Jensen

AR: Where did your inspiration for Alatiel stem from?

'Alatiel'...that seems familiar to me, as if it were from a book I read many years ago.”

She has no name, Daniele,” Julian said, “so I chose one for her. I have invented her, you might say.”'

(The Poison of a Smile, Ch. 1)

SJ: I took the name Alatiel from the Italian masterpiece The Decameron, a collection of tales written around the time of the Great Dying, the plague which devastated Europe. Boccaccio wrote that Alatiel was a courtesan, the lover of a thousand men, who 'reinvented' herself as a virgin bride fit for a king. A literary historian wrote of her:

      'Alatiel passes from one man to another - including two Genoese shipowners, the prince of Achaea, the duke of Athens, the prince of Constantinople, the Turkish emir of Smyrna, and a Cypriot merchant - the strange power of her beauty driving each to murder or other acts of malfeasance in order to possess her.'

      So, because of her shifting identity, because of her apparent capacity for malice, Alatiel seemed both an apt name for my character and, of course, homage to a fine story. There are, naturally, other aspects which connect her to The Poison of a Smile's belle dame sans merci: Alatiel is described as 'strangely silent' during a time in captivity, unable or unwilling to tell her captors of her background; in my novel, she is mute. She is considered an 'object, a possession' by the men she seduces; this connects to her treatment by the artists in Poison. And of course, her 'strange beauty' goads my male characters into acts of evil or even suicide; those who refuse her 'inspiration' are destroyed anyway.

      Alatiel is every sainted whore, every woman-child they dared to imagine. The artist Salvador Dali wrote that: 'To look is to invent'; what more salient symbol for the artistic male's warped idealisation of women, the obsessive need to weaves myths around those they love and hate, is there than Alatiel? As I wrote: 'Alatiel is the mirror in which they saw themselves. She would be whatever her admirers wanted her to be...'

      She is ageless, like Pater's vampiric Mona Lisa, because she is forever born anew in the minds of men, a man-made Athena, as it were; she is chameleon-like because she reflects the fairweather fidelity of men. She is not, despite her actions, evil. Alatiel is at best a blank canvas, or more relevantly, a pale reflection of the contradictory and self-torturing male desire for what is elevated and what is base. Alatiel is a mannequin that comes to life – Pygmalion's Galatea, Hoffmann's Olimpia made flesh. Alatiel, in her many guises, is all her enemies ever dreamt of...

AR: Why The Poison of a Smile?

'Soon, the Widow Paradine began to lament her son's passing and we allowed ourselves the luxury of a most delicious smile.'

(The Poison of a Smile, Ch. 4)

SJ: Many of Poison's chapter titles were inspired by the work of the surrealist René Magritte. I love the chosen titles of his paintings...I find them enigmatic and interesting. Sometimes I've used these titles directly – The Scars of Memory, The Light-breaker, The Enchanted Domain, The Treachery of Images, for example – and, on occasion, I've invented my own or combined Magritte's titles: The Poison of a Smile is one such combination.

      The book's title suggests deception, a lure to snare the unwary, a contradiction and a fractured persona; all these things are the soul of The Poison of a Smile.

AR: Paintings seem to have almost mystical significance in this novel. Why do you think they are so powerful?

'A curious bedroom - to an outsider - but this was his true home. Pencil sketches, studies of his own or imagined hands of impossible Mannerist grace, were scatttered across his dressing table. A drawing of Helena Graham, or rather, her head and shoulders only, hung next to a striking image of the crucified Christ.'

(The Poison of a Smile, Ch. 5)

SJ: Although art and artists are easy enough subjects to write about – and my themes are hardly new in fiction, it must be admitted – I had to write this book. I could have chosen a more commercially-attractive subject, for sure, but I'm deeply interested by what I view as the flawed thinking of many male artists and their patrons active during the Victorian era. Some of these men, and their misdeeds, fascinate me. An example: the artist Dante Gabriel Rosssetti buried his finest poems with the wife who (almost certainly) killed herself because of his infidelities. Some time later, in need of money, he had her body exhumed and then published the poems to great fanfare and commercial success. This disconnect between Rossetti's supposedly broken heart and the 'desecration' of his wife's tomb for personal gain is as incredible to me as I'm sure it would be to most people. But then, artists are rarely 'most people'.

      Not surprisingly, Rossetti suffered a mental breakdown before too long – he even claimed that 'his' Elizabeth haunted him, in her typically quiet but impressive manner. Rossetti, poet and painter (as is my character Daniele Navarro), slowly fell apart, as it were.

      The renowned art critic John Ruskin fell in love at the age at the age of fifty with Rose La Touche, a rather ethereal girl of seventeen years; but really, he lost his heart to her when she was just ten. Ruskin began to lose his mind after Rose's early death. A biographer wrote: 'He convinced himself that the Renaissance painter Vittore Carpaccio had included portraits of Rose in his paintings of the life of Saint Ursula. He took solace in Spiritualism, trying to contact Rose's spirit.' So perhaps one can see why I felt impelled me to write a rather Gothic take on these events and others; it was irresistible to me, it was almost ready-made...

      The kind of art I've written about in Poison is of two kinds: one, the illusory Trompe L'oeil type, and more importantly, what I might describe as 'Still Life with Humans', for the want of a more technical term. This very male trait is, I feel, evident in everything from the penchant for pornographic magazines to the highest eschelons of the arts – a passion for the voyeuristic scrutiny of women in static states, whether it be in photo 'captures' (a loaded word, for certain), sleep or even death. Examples are perhaps too numerous to list, but I posit that there is a connection between, say, a Nineteenth-century Felix Trutat painting and the monochrome  'necrophilia' that constitutes so much of Helmut Newton's photography. And these are only recent examples...a common bond unites these images, no matter which period they issue from – their value for men lies in their manipulation, in the white-hot forge of imagination. 

      Consider the imagery of the medieval Snow White tale – the mirror, the crystal coffin – it speaks of the soulless world of men, display and vanity, secretive and public appearance. Alexander Pushkin changed the story's dwarves into knights, and so the connection with the Grail legends was established. And of course, even these are all symbol and surface – their intellectual and spiritual depth are merely the myth-making of men. Thus, as ever, a distance is placed between the strange creatures these men 'invent' and obsess over, and the flesh and blood women who truly exist. One sees this physical and mental distancing in Dante's obsession with Beatrice Portinari – the two may never have even spoken yet the poet cast her as his saviour, his guide through his fictionalised Heaven. It's incredibly strange, I think, but typical of his type.

      The creators of these tales, these artworks, lose sight of women as people. Male sexual desire is more complex and subtle than The Sun would have one believe...

AR: And yet your villains are primarily female...

'I dreamt: of her unclean kisses, the dull friction of her dry lips upon my body. In the absence of affection, the desire for my possession alone inspired her hateful love-making.'

(The Poison of a Smile, Ch. 4) 

SJ: This is true. I find that women are far more interesting than men, generally speaking, and far more complex. If they have a flair for evil...all the better. The brilliant serial killer belongs only in fiction – he has no counterpart in real life. Even that loathsome pseudo-intellectual, the Moors Murderer Ian Brady, writes appallingly on the mindset of a killer (his The Gates of Janus is quite dreadfully drab); more saliently, he can't hide his self-hatred and moral torment. The very 'best' villains are quite without these wholly human problems, but then, the most wicked lack a suitable stage – fiction allows them the freedom of the arena. There is no male authority here, no bearded gods or Freudian father figures in disguise; the Maenads have overthrown Dionysus and fashioned his madness anew...

AR: Arguably, the magnetism of your writing lies in the use of poetic language and imagery. Which authors have you found most stylistically influential?

'The fragments lying upon his writing desk were testament to a style that had become an obsession, one which harkened back to his Waterford childhood or perhaps the ancestral memories of his people. All of them related how the Leanan Sidhe, Mistress of Death, fired his vision and promised him riches, fame, the glory of the world.'

(The Poison of a Smile, Ch. 5) 

SJ: Oscar Wilde, primarily. Even in recorded conversation, let alone his literary output, he had the sublime habit of selecting the best word for every occasion. Oscar himself described this love of language as 'setting the gem in its rightful place.' The Wilde reader will find that even in his most dated work, the man could turn lead into gold, the dullest of dialogues into a series of striking images or simple yet profound wisdom, as in the purest of philosophies. The wit he was celebrated for was, I think, more likely a happy meeting of original thinking and spontaneity - once, he was asked for his opinion on the correct arrangement of Japanese fans; Oscar replied: “Why arrange them at all? Why not let them occur?” I know of no other man who would think or speak in this way.

AR: Finally, have you any other books planned?

'“They are not my words, dear brother, nor are they my thoughts; I was simply telling you the tale.”'

(The Poison of a Smile, Ch. 3) 

SJ: Depending on the success (or otherwise) of The Poison of a Smile, plans for a sequel and prequel are in the works; Alatiel, and the Salazars – alive, dead or undead – will not rest in peace; neither will their enemies.

      Other planned titles include The Man of Sorrows, and a ghost story, The Treachery of Images.

Steven Jensen can be found at Shadows & Illusions:

http://stevejensen.eu

And The Journal:

http://coaction.wordpress.com

 

Alexandra Riley is the author of Victoria Sponge, which is available to read on Authonomy: http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=15028

 

Chapters

7

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Dadoo wrote 1101 days ago

Steve;

This is enthralling work. Your prose is rich in imagery, almost poetic in parts, without ever being "flowery."

And yet, to me, it reads like a mystery novel. Even as some questions are answered, more spring up. Back story is revealed slowly, and as I read I find my mind working furiously to connect the dots. Brilliant!

I had the chill feeling of impending doom from the first paragraphs. As the story unfolded, I became increasingly horrified, and yet you refrained from using graphic gore to bludgeon me. Instead, you craft the tension, skillfully applying character, atmosphere, and plot as colors in your dark palette.

The sudden shift in the narrators perspective is nothing short of astounding. I have never seen that before. One of the things I love about this site is that authors like yourself are not afraid to experiment with something new. What happens to Helena, affects the narrative in a completely unexpected way.

I delight in the unexpected.

Steve, This is by far the most interesting thing I have read on Authonomy, and the first horror story that I can truthfully say that I have enjoyed.

Bob

I. Alexandra wrote 1106 days ago

First of all, incredible job with the book cover and trailer - both had me running to take a look at the book (and part of me wanting to run in the other direction)! Secondly, and I say this with sincerity, this is quite possibly the most incredible piece of literature I have had the pleasure to read on authonomy. It is a work of genius, I am simultaneously flabbergasted and inspired. Richly atmospheric, it crawled under my skin straight away and removed me quite abruptly from my comfort zone. You put us all to shame! It's haunting, compelling.... I want to read on though I'm afraid to. I don't feel I can add any more as you must surely know by now that you have created something truly unique - a classic in its own right. Brilliant! Instantly backed!

SueAnn Jackson Land wrote 1106 days ago

I remember when I read Peter Straub’s “Ghost Story," I was afraid of the story but there was no resisting it. I knew it was fiction, black and white words in a book I could shelve at will. Still, “M” haunted my dreams. Your Alatiel is a character like that. She is an apparition without life in her... a ghast so without presence of self that she becomes a glass mirror. Your pen is tipped in cruelty capturing the muse. It scrawls the word terror, which is not implied here, it is venerated.

(Backed, and if she shows up in my dreams tonight, it was my own damn fault.)
SueAnn Jackson Land
The Truth About Whales

Seringapatam wrote 64 days ago

Steven The problem I normally have with this type of book is that i read one page and put it down or leave it. The reason for that is because the story is normally too complicated for my small brain and I lose interest. This I am glad to say isnt like that at all. It has a really good voice to it that helps me stay in touch with your story and a pace and flow that makes me want to stay there. I was most impressed with this. I read some of the comments below and cant agree or disagree. I just read it and if its good for me then its good for me. Loved it. Well done. Good score and good luck.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

Andrea Taylor wrote 151 days ago

Incredibly well written and mind-bogglingly intriguing. Quite brilliant. This deserves to be published!
Andrea
The de Amerley Affair

Kenny Park wrote 250 days ago

Great book so far. I will read more and maybe comment on at a later date. I am putting your book on my shelf now and highly rating. Good luck.

Abby Vandiver wrote 252 days ago

This is hard to grasp. I suppose that the language is meant to be poetic, which it does have a nice flow, but because of that it seems likes pieces of the story are missing. When did Giselle get back? I thought she had "departed." What happened to the baby? Whose tongue is in the blankets? I think this good story would be a great story if it just told it straight out without all the puff.

I must admit the writing style takes and does show talent but it takes away from the really good story.

Abby

happyscribbler wrote 389 days ago

Wow, loved the pitch which drew me in instantly. Your writing has a very ,rich element to it. Loved it. Added to my watchlist and rated.
Sarah x

ShebaDiva2 wrote 468 days ago

A beautifully written and complex book. Very well drawn characters in Daniele and Alatiel. The prose has such poetic qualities. Very enjoyable and interestinng.

mvw888 wrote 881 days ago

Happy to revisit this enthralling, masterfully written work. Intriguing characters, stunning pace and story.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

Kaimaparamban wrote 891 days ago

Your work is deserving appreciation. You fairly and genuinely used the power of imagination for the materialization of this work. Congratulations…

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

ElspethWrites wrote 898 days ago

Beautiful book! I'm actually reading the *actual* thing now. (in paperback) Came in the mail today, can you believe it? More anon!

Jack Hughes wrote 906 days ago

Magnificent book, I remember reading some of it a while ago; captivating and sublime.

Backed again as soon as I can find a space.

Jack

Elizabeth.NYC wrote 917 days ago

I have just completed the haunting and tragic tale of Daniele and Alatiel. This is written with such dark beauty I barely know how to respond. There's the sense of deep myth here - the artist who is recreated and transformed by this elegant creature - the fascination turning to obesession until his work is about her and her alone - as she possesses him, she robs him of all things. She is the sweet, seductive demon who offers bliss -- gives bliss -- and then destroys. I see it as metaphor, Steven, and I'm deeply impressed. Alatiel can be representative of so much, and yet it is stunning fiction, so the reader is able to make this story whatever he or she wishes it to be. Your style is brilliant.

Lizzi
(Out of Sync)

Old Rocker wrote 923 days ago

Chilling first chapter. Story is brought to the reader slowly and then it really grabs ya. Great stuff.

Wezzle wrote 934 days ago

I like this it's well written, leads me into a ghostly and eerie story, which makes the hairs on the back of my neck rise. Definitely one I would buy if it were on the shelves in *real* book shops. Well done :)

SubtleKnife wrote 934 days ago

I've re-read your chapters. Memorable, and on my shelf, of course. Cheers! -Liz (Meggie Blackthorn)

M.A. Anderson wrote 935 days ago

Fascinating pitch. Interesting cover. I've added your book to my watchlist and plan to read soon. Good luck.

Farrold Saxon wrote 947 days ago

Thoroughly and engrossingly gruesome, a study in perversity that feels horribly real. You manage the elements of prose with mastery.

Farrold Saxon

Cariad wrote 949 days ago

Anyone that starts with a quote from 'The Hollow Men' is ok by me.

This read reminded me of 'older fashioned' works - and I mean that in a good way. It's gravity and vocabulary is reminiscent of Wilkie Collins and Conan Doyle. You create an atmosphere in the writing, that is often missing in other pieces. The words do not just tell a tale, but weave a blanket of unease and prescience. I have read three chapters and was going to sample the last one, but I think I won't. I'll wait until I come to it.

This is a very accomplished and polished read has clearly been edited and worked on. Impressed.
Cariad
STONES.

klouholmes wrote 961 days ago

Hi Steven, I was entranced, dipping in again at Chapters 4 and 5. The description of Callum tempted me onward and the section about the past lives in the painting and of the narrator was excellently carried off. I did wish for more scene with Callum. Liked that with Catherine after. The style succeeds in mood and the mystery of these haunted people. Shelved again - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Gefordson wrote 976 days ago

Hi, I’d be more than happy to back your book if you’ll take the time to check out my work.
Thanks

Gefordson
Nothing You can do.

John Warren-Anderson wrote 1008 days ago

Very well written. Great voice and Helena really comes alive (I'd never been struck by its heartlessness until that day). I will read the rest of it, but reading on line is such a pain.
Good luck with it, it deserves a spot on the desk.

J.S.Watts wrote 1011 days ago

Elegantly gothic and classicly mysterious.

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

odeb wrote 1013 days ago

Definitely gripping. Very well done.
backed

odeb-GHOSTWOMAN

Eunice Attwood wrote 1015 days ago

Exciting and interesting. A great read. Backed with pleasure. I hope you check out The Temple Dancer. Eunice

jerickson10 wrote 1018 days ago

Hello, I'm new to Authonomy! Please check out my book, Not Alone, and let me know what you think. If it's worth publishing please back it. Thanks for your support!

GK Stritch wrote 1020 days ago

The Poison of a Smile,

Perfection, Steven Jensen, everything including the title, cover, author's image, and, of course, your very chilling prose.

Backed and best.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

noirangel wrote 1036 days ago

Well, this is just incredible. I have not read too many things to the third chapter yet but I could not stop reading this. You paint a picture of such growing menace it really chills the reader. I cannot wait to read the rest.
Thank you for such a great book. You write so beautifully it is like painting only with words.

chasecarrig wrote 1037 days ago

A chilling idea with a clever first chapter. You write in a smooth, effortless manner. Backed.

Chase

SammySutton wrote 1038 days ago

Steve,

You have alot of characters and you handle them well. Applause, that is difficult.
The characterization I can't say enough about as they are well thought and distictive. Emotion invoking description is perfect. Daniele's character really has me intrigued, through the child birth and the candle fire I am perplexed by the character.
Great Job!
Backed!
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

Bonar Law wrote 1043 days ago

Steve,
I wanted to convey my admiration for the masterly use of cold detachment you bring to this written canvas.
First your title drew me in, then the clever anecdotes and remembrances from novels we tried to read, but that all too often left the likes of me behind, all except maybe Orlando, which I love.
You write with authority, you lock the reader in a paneled room filled with brocades and period armoires, lending them an inclination to soak up the lavishness. Then you unleash your darkly intriguing characters who beguile and unsettle at the same time.
You succeed in seeing through a glass darkly.
[Titus]

CG Fewston wrote 1043 days ago

Your title aroused my attention. Your plot, style, and flow pulled me in. I will keep a close eye on this work. Very moving and contains vast potential. Hopefully you will make it to the editor's desk soon. Best wishes. CG

Owen Quinn wrote 1048 days ago

The pitch alone promises so much and is GENUINELY chilling and it takes a lot to unnerve me. This is supernatural at its best with classic elements that have been expanded on, like the haunted house becomes a haunted town, mysterious figure that awaits ordinary humans like a spider for a fly and a creature beyond our darkest nightmares whose greatest weapon against us is our own memories and emotions. Very visual, throughout the story you are waiting for something to happen, like something out of the corner of your eye that you wonder if you've imagined.or not. Like this a lot and can see why this has done so well.

MyffyB wrote 1052 days ago

Are the main characters inspired by the Romantics? I felt that, and then you mentioned Ophelia and from that moment I could picture the setting. I really like the unfolding horror and the murkiness - it's almost like trying to decipher an image through fog until gradually, and horrifically, it is revealed. nice work. Myffy

ccb1 wrote 1053 days ago

All the components of a great book in our opinion ...haunted town, evil reminiscent, and mystical entrancement. What really caught our attention in your pitch was...not a ghost, not a vampire...Well what the heck is she? We decide to place The Poison of a Smile on our watchlist so we could read to clear up the mystery. You might be interested in our paranormal thriller, Dark Side. It is about vampires. We welcome constructive criticism.
CC Brown

Diane60 wrote 1053 days ago

Steve,
have read all 9.
The Poison of a Smile -
i found it intriguing and teasing. Style wise i think i is spot on very victorian fiction and fin de siecle. Gross and absorbing at the same time. Very rich in description and period.
your second offering in Chap 9 am not sure what to make of did you just add it to make up the word count?
it seemed rushed that was why I am asking
:)
Diane

Raymond Crane wrote 1064 days ago

I liked your pitch and I think your book will appeal to all horror fans therefor I backed your book - perhaps you could have a look at my books - than you and good luck !

Vanessa Darnleigh wrote 1065 days ago

The style and voice are reminiscent of the nineteenth century! There is a darkness lurking in the background which makes this quite compelling...looking forward to reading further
Good luck
Stewart

E. C. Flaig wrote 1076 days ago

I try to read like a publisher: a book has to grab me from the first page to keep me going. This does the trick.

Kami K wrote 1079 days ago

Hi Steve

Okay, have read chapter 2 and your writing, as always, is twistedly stunning.

I still love the way you describe how he paints her, especially 'laid her to rest in a Capulet tomb'.

'She only considered him as prey.' This would have better impact if the following line started a new para.

Their lovemaking was creepy beyond belief!

When he finds Alatiel in 'apparent agony', I might lose 'apparent'.

The rest is fantastic in its sheer horror. I love Alatiel's amber eyes, but you do have them in 2 consecutive paras, so maybe change one.

The 'study traced in ashes', is an eerie ending to a great chapter.

This would be such a great stage play. Woman in Black eat your heart out.

Neville wrote 1079 days ago

Hi Steve, a fantastic book and very well written.Excellent descriptive scenes which you've put together well.
I back your book. SHELVED.

regards'

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest)

Zero-serenity wrote 1086 days ago

Your descriptions are awe inspiring. This book kept me glued, very well written.
~Zero, No Title Needed

Winney wrote 1087 days ago

This first chapter is told from three different perspectives, all strong voices. And yet, the original perspective remains, that of an unknown intruder, reading a journal. That was cleverly crafted. There is a lot of mystery here. Who are any of these people? Who is the one that found her body, who is the first writer of the journal, and if she is so weak as to be completely taken over, why did the second writer let her have her say.... all of these hints are fascinating. Thanks for the read and good luck!

Gauis wrote 1088 days ago

V atmospheric - really draws you in

name falied moderation wrote 1089 days ago

Reminds me of Jane Austen, is a beautifully written novel. Poetic in its delivery, and skillfully put together. Dont tell me this is your first novel? no cannot be? I am enjoying the read. I am finding the flow easy and even though my comments are rarely anything to do with grammar, it is skillful. Would I buy the book off the shelf, YES. i would, up to chapter 3. and by all means BACKED. if you get the chance I would welcome an honest read of some of my work, non-fiction, as I do need some honest comments. thank you Steven and the BEST of luck

jdub wrote 1090 days ago

Steven, this is a fine piece of writing that deserves to make it , backed all the best john Warren, lasting Images, Please review, jdub

Kaychristina wrote 1090 days ago

Steve, I'm finding this an awe-inspiring work. An obsession of too many men, painted into being just as, perhaps, the monster is given life and destroys its master. But what an extraordinary monster we have here - never seen before in the written word. Obsession with a painting, yes, but this? You also have envisaged the times, the *salon* set regarded and indulged as all bohemian artists, writers and musicians were the lifeblood of society, and worshipped in awe by the masses. Their morals knew no bounds... as you have so lyrically portrayed them.

I have found one nit to pick... and I'm reluctant to even mention it, but I must before this is [inevitably] pubished, and I could well be wrong. So -

In ch.1... 2nd para: I took it that it was the faces in the portrait following him? So I wondered if you might need another *object* after the ticking clock, with an 'and' for the portrait... (Apart from that, a blood-chilling opening if ever there was one.)

The contrast from that spine-tingler to the group meeting Alatiel is pretty wonderful. The characters vividly drawn and in such a short space of time we see and feel for each one, as each one disintegrates before our eyes. We could say 'serves them right' for using girls this way, as it's a shocking thing to behold, what men such as these did as a matter of course. But we don't, as you've drawn them in a sympathetic way, because it was such a matter of course. And then we have poor Helena, the only one who feels for such creatures, the waifs and strays drawn into this world. Perhaps she will not leave us forever...

One other thing - In ch.3, there is a stand-out sentence: "For one moment, an insane thought reared, spectrelike and uncanny, before my mind: had Christian Salazar somehow painted Alatiel into existence? She was unfinished, incomplete". I feel this needs its own separate paragraph!! (i.e., it's a bit buried where it is...)

And another thing... while I'm at it... the Pitch is brilliant, absolutely brilliant, but I truly feel you could incorporate the above line. Perhaps, too, something about this bohemian society - a bit of theatrical glamour to entice.

You have the gift of an artist, Steve.

From Kay xx ("Annacara")

Jayne Lind wrote 1092 days ago

Very, very good writing. The pacing is brilliant and the mix of dialogue and narrative is right on. This is the work of a very talented writer. Best of luck. Jayne

Enchanting wrote 1093 days ago

Steve, your short introduction is captivating in itself. will take her pleasure in your destruction...and it will be everything you always desired.' I don't usually read the back of books purely as feel each book has a new story to tell. I happened to read your books though and it set the scene well. It really is very well written. I effortlessly flowed from one chapter to the next and look forward to reading more. The gore and detail in the opening paragraph is alone to get the reader hooked. Backed with pleasure

R.L. Meredith wrote 1093 days ago

Well written, Steven. It's on my shelf.
Regards,
R.L. Meredith--A Ten Cent Movie

S.C. Thompson wrote 1094 days ago

Instantly transports us to a gothic, bohemian reality, dripping with dread. Like a modern Poe, or Bram Stoker. A good read for a dark and stormy night . . .
SC
(Viene La Tormenta)

EltopiaAuthor wrote 1094 days ago

The author invokes such poetic images in that intriguing, and hair raising, opening. I hope to come back and read more later. Meanwhile, will "back" with confidence (and ASAP), due to the expert style and confident writer's voice.