WEEKEND CHIMNEY SWEEP or Happy New Year

Marija.
Two thumbs up for your creative mind.
I admit your masterpiece is very unique in Authonomy. I have not read anything like this in this site. This is fresh and full of mannerism. There is perfect mixture of drama, comedy. I thought I was watching a beautiful drama before me when I was reading the dialogues. This is very interesting and clever manipulation of language. I will not get surprised when it is going to be played in theatres.
Good luck to your writing career.
FLETCH
STORIES FROM A LEAKING MIND

Marija - Hello!

This is a clever combination of drama, farce, satire, slapstick comedy, pantomime, all with undertones of pathos. The dialogue is measured and runs smoothly. The stage directions all make sense and the action is well modulated. Like most of your Commentators, I am not qualified to make constructive criticism but could see the play working well on TV. The characters are well drawn and their roles quite credible. You have made a most entertaining piece of theatre which could be turned into a musical. I do hope it finds a suitable impressario. I would join a group of Angels and back it.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1.2 & 3.

Major Motion Picture Should be the Goal for this book... As a visualist I see a Movie for this read... Two Thumbs Up.... Seriously...

The pitch for Weekend Chimney Sweep sets out an unusual and intriguing story that is very effective in making the reader want to take a look at the book. I have to confess I've never come across a 'dramedy' before, let alone reviewed one, but this is unique, quirky, funny, well paced and even without that I'd back you for your originality. Well done!

Marija, This was a pleasant surprise. I wasnt expecting something as cool as this. So well done. A great use of our language transformed into a little master piece and such a delight to read. Brilliant and fun use of the descriptive voice and so many hooks for me its unreal. I can see so many readers of this genre sinking themselves into this book so deep. I score this high.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

What an enchanting pair. Unusual, original and funny. Top stars!!

Dear Marija,
What an intriguing read! The way you shaped your characters and the way you described the beautiful Sarajevo is quite entertaining.

I can see you've already edited the movie from the book and I wish you all the best. You have a great potential for arts and storytelling. The dialogues are well-structured and properly placed, so that the audience can understand every detail scene by scene. Kudos! Very well written.

I hope you upload some more chapters soon, and I look forward to reading more.
Highly starred. Best wishes,
Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

Good read here, I like the story and interaction between the two women. Good job! On my shelf for now. Good luck!
~ David I. Billingham

Love your book. Hope to read more and more of it soon.

My favorite part of this is the two women. Their dialogue is great. I wish you the best.

Hi Casimir,

Well aware that play is not something you see here every day. But I will keep it for a little longer for the sake of wonderful people who wrote lots of earlier comments.
As for your observation that my play is 'loaded with meaning' and 'make the reader work much harder than they are prepared to do', I will take it as a compliment.
Have a nice day,

Marija

The first thing I found was the difficulty reaching the beginning of your work. To make it easy for your readers, Chapter One (Or Act One in your case) should be the first thing you see, not four sections in. I might have given up if I wasn't really interested in reading the piece.

This is an unusual piece to present to the Authonomy crowd. I recently added a screenplay to the site (under another name) and I realised quite quickly how hard it is for anyone unused to reading a script or a play to follow the flow.

Some of your stage directions were quite bizarre and were too loaded with meaning. An actor and a director would probably prefer to make their own judgement on the emotions or the meaning of a line. Directions are usually kept quite simple.

I feel that if you were to change this into a novel, then all of your stage directions coul be there as third-party omniscient narrator additions, and then they would be absolutely right for the piece.

As it stands, it makes for a tough read (for the uninitiated). You make the reader work much harder than they are prepared to do.

As a novel it is a brilliant concept, but I feel it needs to be reworked for the general reader.

Dear Adam,

I was all ready to read your book in my free time, but your spamming methods have discouraged me a bit.

Marija

Dear How to Fail Supporter,

Here at the How to Fail support team we have been greatly encouraged by the developing lack in failure of our book’s progress, thanks to the ongoing support of all our members. You’re support too has not gone unnoticed. Please let us make you fully aware of our gratitude and thanks for all your kind efforts and everything you have done in continuing to partner with us.

It’s is our hope, dream and wish that soon everyone will be able to know how to fail, in a way that they have never known before; so that others will only be able to look on in awe at what a complete mess they have made of their lives.

Yours faithfully,
The team

Dear How to Fail Supporter,

Here at the How to Fail support team we have been greatly encouraged by the developing lack in failure of our book’s progress, thanks to the ongoing support of all our members. You’re support too has not gone unnoticed. Please let us make you fully aware of our gratitude and thanks for all your kind efforts and everything you have done in continuing to partner with us.

It’s is our hope, dream and wish that soon everyone will be able to know how to fail, in a way that they have never known before; so that others will only be able to look on in awe at what a complete mess they have made of their lives.

Yours faithfully,
The team

Marija

This is a lively and affectionate piece, well scripted and interesting. It reminds me a bit of a fairy tale, with a fair smattering of serendipity. Your dialogue between the two women, in particular, feels convincing and well done. I am pleased to see this posted here, as plays are unusual and difficult to convey, on line especially, but I think you do a good job with the presentation.

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-))

A great read, with a strong and interesting story.
I think the story is the most important part of the book.
This shows you are a natural storyteller.
Your language is good and the story flows.
Enjoyed what I read and will recommend to others.
Well done

I can't believe you are the 3rd author who's referenced Sarajevo in the past few hours, including a woman I interviewed earlier today. What a popular subject! This is intriguing and creative, and I back it!

Hi Marija,
I'm not really used to reading plays, but I did enjoy this one. Very humorous, and great dialogue (obviously a must with a play!). Very memorable cast of characters, too!
Best of luck!
Emily

Wow this is certainly unique. That’s a very good thing. With the industry so highly saturated it’s lovely to stumble across something a bit different. You’ve a great sense of humour flowing through this and the beauty of it is that it never seems like your trying. Almost seems like the atmosphere is just a naturally fun tone and it makes the reading very easy. The dialogue was spot on and I would really love to see this on stage.
Janny

Hm, reading your other comments on other books, it appears that in most of them you like using the word 'generic'. I find it a bit odd. Good luck to you,
Marija
...

Hello Marija
COVER: Not really clear at this scale.
SHORT PITCH: Ok but somewhat generic.
LONG PITCH: The cast of characters (and their names) are potentially highly interesting.
TEXT:
I do have a lot of experience reading plays, being a playwright for a long time, but it might be a problem for some.
“ask your colleague and niece.” Too expositional.
Grace’s phone call seems a bit sudden, almost rude in this context. Perhaps this is what you are trying to convey?
Enters Dreamy should be enter.
I almost felt you excessively used parenthesis to explain what should come across in the dialogue. I felt the point being hammered in.
Good luck and I hope you find some of this useful.
Daniel
‘Headless’

Hello Marija
COVER: Not really clear at this scale.
SHORT PITCH: Ok but somewhat generic.
LONG PITCH: The cast of characters (and their names) are potentially highly interesting.
TEXT:
I do have a lot of experience reading plays, being a playwright for a long time, but it might be a problem for some.
“ask your colleague and niece.” Too expositional.
Grace’s phone call seems a bit sudden, almost rude in this context. Perhaps this is what you are trying to convey?
Enters Dreamy should be enter.
I almost felt you excessively used parenthesis to explain what should come across in the dialogue. I felt the point being hammered in.
Good luck and I hope you find some of this useful.
Daniel
‘Headless’

Weekend Chimney Sweep or Happy New Year
Hi Marika,
Unlike anything else I’m come across on the site so far. Very visual, with the stage directions - and the dialogue is sharp and witty, yet totally natural and does exactly what it has to do in a play: tells the story – and very well too. High stars.
Kat x Hens from Hell

Marija,

I'm a bit confused about someone else's comment about Act 3, which I didn't see, I love theater and have read many plays. In addition, I worked with a Serbian professor during the war and so am somewhat familiar with the former Yugoslavia. I love this play and am backing it.

If you have time, maybe you could take a look at my work. I am most interested in constructive comments on Vermilion Wants to Go to the Movies. It's a short story that I wrote about characters I want to write a novel about.

Again, I love the play and wish you lived in Athens so the local theater, which is excellent because so many MFAs from the university are in the plays, could produce it.

Karen Schwind
Her Life As She Knew It

I've read this and backed it before a long time ago. On a second reading, I find it even more fascinating. I love the way you manage to derive so much characterisation and personality from such simple dialogue. By the end of your 1st chapter, we really do know and care about all your characters. Nothat's my favourite, though. ;)

I also really enjoyed the strange sense of humour threaded through your writing. I found it unusual and effective. On several occasions, I had to stop myself laughing aloud. :)

I'm rating this as highly as possible with 6 stars. I think it's a v accomplished piece. :)

Best wishes,

Pete x

I've got both your books on my watchlist now. Sorry it took so long! You forgot to remind me... ;) S'okay. Look forward to the reads! Good luck!

Have a great day!
Ellise
(The Governess)

I like the image in ACT 2 - 3 friends sitting on the empty bed across for hospitalized NOTHAT

I also like the idea of nothat missing seeing a stranger - but wondering why she is brought up before Joy -
feel like the addition of a narrator might help readers understand the characters more -

I am slowly understanding the role of the chimney sweep as faith talks about clever people -

Overall - a nice read - - Would like to hear it read by actors - or better yet see it on a stage -

very put off by NOTHAT - and I am guessing that I am supposed to be

LIte the setting and appreciate the description -

am wondering how as the play open, we know that NotHat has taken dreamy's seat

I like the question -" How Can a poet be a pick pocket"

I am hooked - will continue reading

I love the names of the characters - I like that CRACKPOT is handsome - and NOTHAT can be read as No THAT or Not HAT - am wondering if NOTHAT is a man or a woman

I like the relationship between Dreamy and Grace - and reflecting a bit on this

It is a bit funny to me that Faithful is normal - I do not know why

Needing a bit of a description of the settings - propabally will get that as I get into the play ?

I like the New Years Eve to New Years Eve timeframe -

Hi Marija, I'm up to chapter three. There's no way I can critique this because I haven't got a clue about scripts or how they should look. But I did enjoy reading it. I haven't come across anything like this on Authonomy before, so it's very refreshing. Starred for now, and I'll read more so I get an more of an idea of the plot.
Becky x

I was so happy to include this on my shelf once more. I went back to see what I wrote over 300 days ago. I decided to reprint it here:

I love drama and so am very happy to see this here. The characters are very well done. I love Dreamy, Crackpot and Nothat. The setting of a bookstore is very nice as well. It provides a good environment for the fringes of society to linger and interact. It reminds me of an old "alternative" bookshop in my hometown. Not much was sold in a business day, but great conversations and life experiences were exchanged. "Did you come here to save the world and your homeland or to take me to lunch, as we agreed?" Nicely done.

I am happy to give you a star rating as I remember this story very well, and it's clever play formatting. Even though I reviewed your story over 4 months ago, I still remember Nothat being my favourite character. Kind regards, Marita.

Marija,

Drama is one of my weakest spot, so “WEEKEND CHIMNEY SWEEP” comes as a nice complement to a fine day. The setting (Sarajevo is not so close to Belarus, country where I come from, but still) and the characters’ names win my favour.

The dialogues are ravishing. Perhaps the brackets at the beginnings of the lines are too frequent, but, on the other hand, without them the dialogues would wane.

A shining piece of drama, with a lot of potential. Way to go!!!

Six star rated with pleasure. Good luck with it, Marija!

Ivan
The Beholder

I am not agreat fan of plays but I do like central european stories, so this has much to offer. Qurky, atmospheric, funny. Just don't know if there's a market for this, but good luck with it.

Hi,Really very impressive work. i am very much impressed the way you narrated the story.
All the best.
backed with wishes,
S.Vinay kumar,
"10 roses for love"

Wow, this was not what I expected (I read till chapter 3 but will continue). It's a script!! Something original and different - congrats on that.
The names I found kind of hilarious - Grace, Crackpot, Dreamy, Whatnot - they seem so unreal. Whatnot is an abnormal name and he is a weird character. I thought he liked Grace but he seems quite taken back by Dreamy. You write very well because I was immediately caught in your story and the characters' lives. I love the setting.
Starred and on my WL for further reading.
Asma.

Really refreshing to read a play and the dialogue is very engaging already. Will keep reading but will back!!

Thank you very much for your comment. I will naturally spend some time pondering on it. One thing, though, I must point out: I have uploaded only a half of drama, and the climax normally happens in the second part, right?
Look forward to reading and commenting on your book. Very best wishes,
Marija

(QUOTE] Hi Marija,
Took a read as you asked. I especially enjoyed the stories Crackpot is telling the women about dressing as a chimney sweep and what others ask him to do. The way you format a screen play/stage play where you live and where I live are really different. But dialog is still dialog, right. I thought it well written, though a little long in places and wondered if you could tighten it up a bit by omitting anything that did not progress the play. Though I only read to chapter five, I did not find an arch/climax to the story nor the solution. Here, that is a crucial part of writing whether it's a book, stage play, or screen play, however, I found it an interesting story. Best wishes.
Janell (tomewriter)

Hi Marija,
Took a read as you asked. I especially enjoyed the stories Crackpot is telling the women about dressing as a chimney sweep and what others ask him to do. The way you format a screen play/stage play where you live and where I live are really different. But dialog is still dialog, right. I thought it well written, though a little long in places and wondered if you could tighten it up a bit by omitting anything that did not progress the play. Though I only read to chapter five, I did not find an arch/climax to the story nor the solution. Here, that is a crucial part of writing whether it's a book, stage play, or screen play, however, I found it an interesting story. Best wishes.
Janell (tomewriter)

backed AS PROMISED!!!

Have 6 starred this and added to our WL which means you WILL make our shelf in the next (+3) round of backings (its 11pm for us). Check our comments trail if u want to confirm this and do feel free to chase at ANY TIME to know exactly how long till ur going up...

Smooth, accurate and believable dialogue. You paint a good picture of your characters actions and carry the story well in play form. I would like a little better description as to body position at times, but I'm not sure if that's necessary for plays. Also, they appear to change scenery often and it seems to me that would be difficult. The characters could probably spend a little more time talking in each segment. Patience. It's okay for the people to repeat some lines in back-and-forth banter to get the idea across and into the audience's heads (in other forms of course).

And don't be afraid to push the limit vocabulary-wise. People go to plays to feel smarter because they can determine what a word means through the surrounding dialogue, and give the illusion they are at the table with affluent guests, making them one as well. Overall, a unique, well-fleshed story that feels just the way a play should. It mixes drama and humor perfectly and gives viewers something to walk away with.

Joel Juedes- Purple Eyes

How totally fantastic you are, Marija!! :) Thank you so much for again backing my memoirs/testimony book. :) May God richly bless you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I just looked to see if I had ******-ed your book & it is ******-rated (6 gold ******'s) :) Every ****** -ing & backing more than 24 hours moves our books up authonomy's lists. :) I want to ask you if you could please keep my book on your bookshelf because I'm 4 on the editor's desk & have to be in the top 5 to be chosen, the end of January :) - I had a mini-stroke Nov. 10 with slurred speech for an hour & numbness of tongue still & over 24 smaller ones where I couldn't speak since & I"d sure like to cross the finish line of the editor's desk after 10 months trying on authonomy. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me :) - I have lost 3 sisters to strokes & my last sister, Mary had 2 heart attacks this past year.

It's great to read a play for a change. The characters and theme remind of the old morality plays. Amusing and entertaining. I've starred and WL. Lara
GOOD FOR HIM and
A FEAST OF TALES under Good for Her avatar

Marija.
Your story is delightful. I'm only on Chapter three, but i will put it on my WL as i want to make sure i read it all :)..
Happy New Year to you.
Maria

I enjoyed reading your dramedy. The names are very clever, the dialogue is constantly flirting with absurdism, and just when you think the characters are going to go off the cliff, they gather an enduring twist

There is a lot of Beckett in this, starting with the choices of names, following with the taste for slapstick and ending with the philosophical absurdity.

This is a treat, 5 stars, (I can't give you 6 until I know how it ends)

david

A good joke. An accountant makes time to make more money. It may a clear-cut picture of Sarajevo. At the same time you are pointing out to the difficulties of a middle aged men to live. This is a good comedy with life touch.


Best wishes,

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

I love it! Brilliant. A real treat to read.
Backed with pleasure.
Laurence Winchester, The Cross of Goa

Dear Marija, couldn't sleep last night! So turning to your book I was overcome in your beautifully written drama. That definitely portrays a passion for life. Little wrong with your blend of styles, that blends slapstick with a little Sol-volatile of passion and pizazz that really pulls the reader in. Such many great moments to remember, in what is a marvellously written piece of literature. That will live on in my mind. May you have all the luck in the world when it comes to publishing. Good luck and best wishes, Cicuta, [ Carl, Arcane ].

This is most definitely the biggest surprise of this site. I enjoy reading theater plays, so I enjoyed reading your work. Nice characters, nice dialogues, it is, as the French say magnifique. Top rate for your work Marija.

Dan

Excellent Marija! Clever, funny, great dialogue. I look forward to reading more. I have sprinkled many stars for you!
Best wishes,
Claire-Curious Cooper and the Screaming Skulls

just taking a moment to support good books once again under the new system...
j

Slight overuse of the word "that", but otherwise interesting.

Backed and rated.

Cat
"Lies & Love"

Lizzi, thank you so much for your lovely comments. It would be such a fun if we could organize internationally produced play with you as Dreamy. Fingers-crossed.
Very best wishes,
Marija

Hi Marija - I actually feel qualified to comment on this work. I've been in dozens of plays onstage and have written and produced a few, too, so I truly appreciate the difficulty of playwriting - without a great script the actors are crippled and the audience yawns. Some leave at intermission. To depend on dialogue rather than action to move a story takes a gift, and I was thrilled to experience your gift in this play. Your characters ROCK. Wish I could play Dreamy. What you are able to do (and this should and will be on stage, I trust) is take your "audience" out of the confines of the theatre. They no longer see a stage, or actors reciting lines. They go right into that bookshop, and from then on they travel wherever you want them to go. The timing is essential (and this is where so many plays fail) but these characters play off one another flawlessly. And even more important, each one of them is unforgettable, from their names to their mannerisms to their outlooks. Wonderful work - if we weren't in a recession I'd be out looking for investors right now to mount a production...maybe Greenwich Village. My only observation - some of the directions, i.e. hugs her in a consoling way - work for this site so readers are led into the story. I suggest that if you present it to theatre groups or investors, you can leave those instructions out of the script. The directors and actors will work out those types of things, and most playwrights leave them out to give the director and actors creative freedom.

Brava,
Lizzi
(Out of Sync)

Hi Marija - I actually feel qualified to comment on this work. I've been in dozens of plays onstage and have written and produced a few, too, so I truly appreciate the difficulty of playwriting - without a great script the actors are crippled and the audience yawns. Some leave at intermission. To depend on dialogue rather than action to move a story takes a gift, and I was thrilled to experience your gift in this play. Your characters ROCK. Wish I could play Dreamy. What you are able to do (and this should and will be on stage, I trust) is take your "audience" out of the confines of the theatre. They no longer see a stage, or actors reciting lines. They go right into that bookshop, and from then on they travel wherever you want them to go. The timing is essential (and this is where so many plays fail) but these characters play off one another flawlessly. And even more important, each one of them is unforgettable, from their names to their mannerisms to their outlooks. Wonderful work - if we weren't in a recession I'd be out looking for investors right now to mount a production...maybe Greenwich Village. My only observation - some of the directions, i.e. hugs her in a consoling way - work for this site so readers are led into the story. I suggest that if you present it to theatre groups or investors, you can leave those instructions out of the script. The directors and actors will work out those types of things, and most playwrights leave them out to give the director and actors creative freedom.

Brava,
Lizzi
(Out of Sync)