Book Jacket

 

rank 5925
word count 61119
date submitted 01.02.2010
date updated 07.02.2010
genres: Fiction, Travel, Comedy
classification: adult
incomplete

Bad Altitude

Jack Leonard

Follow airline steward Mike Taylor as he jets around the world, dealing with outrageous colleagues and passengers in this rude but funny novel.

 

Normally, the phrase ‘Taylor Made’ is associated with the highest quality. Be it precision golf equipment or misspelled gentlemen’s clothing, those words have always denoted the cream of the crop. The only thing Mike Taylor made was mistakes. From his choice of career as an airline steward despite being allergic to the public, to his relationship-busting use of the ‘C’ word, the best he could say about his life was that nothing had yet proven fatal. Then he meets Anna. Convinced that she is ‘the one’, Mike tries to get noticed using all his classic moves, which mainly involve begging and alcohol. The good news is that Anna does indeed notice him. The bad news is that so does Anna’s psychotic ex-boyfriend,her insatiable flatmate, and a granddaughter of the Sexual Revolution. Whether Mike’s cloud has a silver lining or a rock bottom is yet to be seen, but one thing’s for sure… It’s not going to be a smooth ride. Better fasten your seatbelts…

 
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tags

, airline, comedy, crew, flight attendant, humour, outrageous, partying, passengers, pilot, revenge, romance, steward

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43 comments

 

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Suzannah Burke wrote 1538 days ago

Hi, i backed this a couple of days ago...from the pitch. I didn't comment which is unusual for me, so here I am again and my seatbelt is fastened....it needs to be. This is so damned funny...cynical, outrageous and a fast-paced enjoyable read. I have some marvelous friends who are cabin crew working for Qantas...and the stories they told me were enough to even make me blush...trust me that is an accomplishment in itself.

I thoroughly enjoyed the read...and am pleased that my instincts were spot on when I backed this from the pitch alone.

Suzannah Burke.

LonnieNonnie wrote 1328 days ago

I think this might be funnier as one gets into it, but the narrative slows it down too much for me, as it is. BFP The Tails of Willie Gusty

Bonzo147 wrote 1337 days ago

Hilarious and so, so believable, will read more for sure....backed...

Angus Shoor Caan.

Violet Hiccup

Sly80 wrote 1339 days ago

Mike, reapplying for admission to the land of the living, but first the checklist. Turns out relatively safe, until memories reassert themselves, 'the sexual prowess of a sedated panda', that bad, eh? Then there's Phil - one of those elephants that eats fermented fruit - who adds further details to the memories - something about a Bangkok bird. It goes from bad to worse as the two attempt to fix their falling apart bodies in their falling apart flat, and ends up with the rather resourceful idea of ironing a shirt via body heat. Ah, the vaguaries of the plane spotter - sort of a send off committee before work.

This is laddish humour at its best, Jack, or worst, depending on who and what you are. Obsevations of the sharpest variety (that's both clever and cutting) interspersed with the just damned hilarious .. backed.

Possible Nits: 'with breasts, that [who] would find this'. 'mere seconds after ... seconds later'.

GK Stritch wrote 1352 days ago

Dear Jack Leonard,

Bad Altitude is hilarious and the timing with the JetBlue flight attendant incident is PERFECT. How did you arrange that? Everything about your manuscript from the title to the cover to your name to your photo is spot on. Seems like a real winner.

Best, backed, and up, up, and away.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

ccb1 wrote 1360 days ago

Backed Altitude. Laugh-out-loud funny!
CC Brown
Dark Side

klouholmes wrote 1364 days ago

Hi Jack, The writing causes full involvement in the setting so that it's prominent rather than Mike's destinations. Even when he's thinking beyond, he seems to be a person who lives in the present so that his interaction with Anna immediacy. Good description and atmosphere! Shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

celticwriter wrote 1368 days ago

Hi Jack, nice synopsis, which easily leads one to your first chapter. Nice character construction. backed

sincerely
jim
jack & charmian london

CarolinaAl wrote 1368 days ago

Mike is likable. You flesh him out well. Your descriptions are exceptional. For example, the descriptions in your first paragraph. You enliven your narrative with wonderful metaphors like 'but a whisker from achieving perfection' and apt similies such as 'like spent artillery shells.' Your dialogue is effective and deepens your story. Your wit is hilarious. I repeatedly laughed out loud. Your pacing is spot on for my tastes.

Nit:
Consider reducing the number of exclamation marks a bit. Overuse diminishes their effectiveness.

This is well executed, zany comedy. Backed.

lynn clayton wrote 1368 days ago

I've never heard of Heinz All-Day Breakfast in a tin. I'm sure I'm going to hear of this book again, though. I started laughing after the first idyllic paragraph and haven't stopped yet. Brilliant in both wit and writing. Backed. Lynn

Johanna Kern wrote 1368 days ago

Excellent read!

Intelligent, witty, current -- and such a good observation of a human nature. I like the visual side to the story - very cinematic, and could be a good potential for a movie, at some point after the book will receive its well deserved attention.

Two thumbs up!

Backed with true pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

Andrew Burans wrote 1370 days ago

You have crafted a thououghly enjoyable and likeable character in Mike Taylor. I also like your choice to use the first person narrative voice. This allows you to easily convey, and you do it well, Mike's feelings, thoughts insecurities and emmotions. Your story is well paced and your descriptive writing sprinkled with delicious humour coupled with situations that we can all relate to makes your work a most entertaining read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Scott Toney wrote 1370 days ago

You had me with the pitch. It definutely was unique and made me smile. You're BACKED! Please stop by my book sometime and give a look. Thanks,

- Scott

soutexmex wrote 1371 days ago

Jack: this made me laugh. It's similar to 'Plane Insanity' and I loved that book as well. Only someone with your insight can write this. I can so totally see this in the airport gift shop. BACKED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Hypo99 wrote 1373 days ago

THIS IS A TRULY WONDERFUL PEICE OF WORK. I SHALL BE RETURNING TO READ MORE.

BACKED

Hope you get the chance to peek inside The Russian Hat.

warm wishes
Brendan

Burgio wrote 1376 days ago

BAD ALTITUDE
This is a good story. Taylor is a great character. I don’t fly a lot but when I do I’m always impressed with how patient and polite all of the cabin persons seem to be. Always makes me wonder if they’re that polite when they’re away from work or if they change when they step aboard a plane. This book is a good read because it answers that question. Makes it a fun read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Francesco wrote 1485 days ago

Backed with pleasure! Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further read and possible backing of your book.

lionel25 wrote 1504 days ago

Jack, your first chapter is smooth and amusing. Nothing to nitpick there.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

lizjrnm wrote 1505 days ago

You have such a very unique style that sets you apart from everyone on this site. This is a book I would buy just based on the first sentence! BACKED
Liz
The Cheech Room

lizjrnm wrote 1505 days ago

You have such a very unique style that sets you apart from everyone on this site. This is a book I would buy just based on the first sentence! BACKED
Liz
The Cheech Room

Famlavan wrote 1509 days ago

Great pitch!

Very quirky, very readable situation humour. I really enjoyed this (even if it did take me back to a few morning afters. This deserves to do well, dialogue is great, narrative great, hopefully a great chance of reaching the editors desk – good luck

zan wrote 1513 days ago

Bad Altitude
Jack Leonard

"I had little choice but to reapply for admission to the land of the living." "As everyone with a brain larger than a Spice Girl knows, and aeroplane that doesn't go up or down is called a bus." Jack, I loved your long pitch. You have a very entertaining story here and I simply loved your use of language. "My main objective was to make myself look slightly less like a suffering piss-head....This was no picnic with our bathroom." Apart from your engaging plot, I think your writing style is individualistic and refreshing to read. I enjoyed this immensely and hope to return to read more.
Best wishes for its success,
Zan

Euphemus wrote 1514 days ago

A very refreshing story of modern life with some excellent comedy, and sexual explanation without crudety.
My only comment , and I hope constyructive is that it would be better with more dialog. The experts always push the
'show not tell' aspect of writing.
It's very good and I'm backing it.
David (Floawless Murder)

Bradley Wind wrote 1517 days ago

Jack,
Cover is good!
short pitch is good as well...might break the long pitch up into a couple short punchy paragraphs for easier reading.
but the content of both has me very interested in reading on.
Text: I know that lager odor well. heh.
I'm really liking the mc...
heheh, for safety reasons before leaving the room.
Welll, not much to add except that I found it great fun.
Best of luck to you with this!!
-=Bradley

Jesse Hargreave wrote 1522 days ago

Backed February 12.

Jesse - Savant

Thomas J. Winton wrote 1531 days ago

Jack, teriffic pitch! After that, your story is humorous. Especially since I myself can relate, all too well, to Mike's fuzzy memories of the night before and his less than desirable physical condition. A fun read that I'm sure continues. My only nit is that some of the sentences, here and there, are very long and should be cut up a bit. When you get to the end of a sentence, and have forgotten what the beginning was about, it's too long. Backed.
Thomas J Winton
"Beyond Nostalgia"

Rakhi wrote 1532 days ago

This is funny and different. The characters are likable in spite of being with many flaws. Your writing style suits the plot and narration. This was definitely a light, entertaining and amusing read, traits of a good book. Happy to back it.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

Jesse Hargreave wrote 1532 days ago

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

KW wrote 1532 days ago

This is great, but it makes me wonder whether I want fly the "friendly skies" anything soon. Backed with pleasure.

Francis Albert McGrath wrote 1532 days ago

I love this. Reminds me of "Mile High", one of my favourite tv programmes. It's very readable, very enjoyable and anarchic. Mike and Anna... I can see this as a "Notting Hill" type movie.
Shelved
Frank

George Fripley wrote 1534 days ago

Brightened up the office today! Backed with much pleasure.

George Fripley
Wurzel of Clutton

Fromante wrote 1535 days ago

Not normally my cup of tea genre. Well, I was surprised to find the humour and passion you write with, throughout each chapter. Easy going and good to read, in fact it is like some of the tales I have heard from flight crew friends. You must have spent some long time sorting it all out and putting together into such a good story, Jack.
All my friends have now retired, like me, so no more tales of high altitude antics! Backed.
Fromante. (Norman) The Witch of Hambone Bk.3. Also, Muddledydo.

kizgikate wrote 1536 days ago

It's funny. I wish I could get a Scottish accent to go in my head while reading it-- I'm sure it would be even more funny :))

Backed
Kizgikate

Jared wrote 1536 days ago

Jack, I loved this. Very funny, occasionally cheeky, always interesting. An easy read to brighten up a dull day. Backed.
Jared.

ellen911 wrote 1537 days ago

I love this behind-the-scenes look at a humdrum job and its cynical partying employee. Your narrator earns sympathy despite his whiny outlook on a post-party morning. We sense he desires more, but that he feels stuck. Is this all there is? Yet, we hope he will learn something about life, love, friendship, and maybe even tricks to avoiding whopping hangovers. There is something in this fellow many readers will identify. We all have had a job we didn't want, friends who over-stayed their welcomes, days that felt longer than a year, and dreams that seemed to vanish without a start. This promises to be fun and I hope heartwarming.
Backed,
Ellen
(Thoughts of a Teenage Girl)

Lj Trafford wrote 1537 days ago

Read, laughed, backed.
That is all I can say :)

Freeman wrote 1537 days ago

This is truly hilarious. I liked the comment about the Christmas present. I have read many books on this site flagged as ‘comedy’, none of them have made me laugh so much. The episode with the Andrews salts had me in stitches. You have a true gift for wit when you get fed up with your job, try being a stand-up comic you would do well. Many of the good ones had other jobs before they realized their calling.

I will back your book with great pleasure – brilliant

Tony
Life Bringer

scatteredfrost wrote 1537 days ago

Jack,
Saw your cover and had to read your pitch. Then I had to read your story. This is the funniest thing I've seen on this site. This is the funniest thing I've read since I can remember when. Love it. I expect to see this rise fast.

Backed
Pamela Frost
aka scatteredfrost
Houses of Cards

gillyflower wrote 1538 days ago

An amusing book with some pleasant, funny characters. Mike is a typical male of the 'Men behaving Badly' type, and in spite of his serious flaws is quite easy to like. You draw him well, with all the sort of detail that brings him to life. Your writing is consistently funny, and promises some interesting and amusing developments. I liked Mike's description of himself, in relation to how often he changed his sheets, and how clean he considered himself, as being in 'the grey area between cleanliness and Bob Geldof.' A book which many people will enjoy. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Suzannah Burke wrote 1538 days ago

Hi, i backed this a couple of days ago...from the pitch. I didn't comment which is unusual for me, so here I am again and my seatbelt is fastened....it needs to be. This is so damned funny...cynical, outrageous and a fast-paced enjoyable read. I have some marvelous friends who are cabin crew working for Qantas...and the stories they told me were enough to even make me blush...trust me that is an accomplishment in itself.

I thoroughly enjoyed the read...and am pleased that my instincts were spot on when I backed this from the pitch alone.

Suzannah Burke.

Melcom wrote 1539 days ago

A fascinating idea for a book.

Hope it does extremely well for you.

Melxx
UNICORN
(crime/thriller)

LittleDevil wrote 1540 days ago

Take no notice of Rodney. He backs every new book - he likes to be number one talent spotter for some strange reason. You're welcome here along with all the other published writers of which there are many. Just had a look at the first chapter and it's a hoot. I like the scottish accent, not overcooked.
Happy to shelve and get you circulated
Best wishes
Sue
A Boy Called George

jack744 wrote 1541 days ago

Since you already have an ISBN, what are you looking for from the members on this site ?



Hi Rodney,

I may have misread the FAQs, but I was under the impression that this site was for self-published authors as well as unpublished. I published this novel through Authorhouse's print on demand service. I was hoping for a little more exposure, not to mention any constructive criticism that may be forthcoming.

Cheers,

Jack

R.A. Battles wrote 1541 days ago

Since you already have an ISBN, what are you looking for from the members on this site ?

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