Presumed Killed

Easily one of the best books on the site - one of the best books I've read anywhere in recent times - it's such a pleasure to find a writer with such command of the technical aspects of a writer's craft as well as the ability to tell a story and hold the reader's attention.
Your pitches are succinct and effective, encouraging the reader onwards, but it within the book itself that the real delights are found. This is exactly the type of multi-layered character development that marks out the author as having gifts beyond the scope of so many others. I was captivated by your facility with language, that rare ability to say so much in a single phrase, vivid imagery and realistic dialogue, but the true value of Vain Shadow lies in its accuracy. I commend the evident depth of your research and your ability to take your reader into a different era and yet fix the attention on the story without a hint of uncertainty.
I'm delighted to place this excellent book on my shelf.
Jake

Fabulous! This has everything I look for in good historical writing. Time travel writing, I call it, where I am transported back to walk among and eavesdrop real peoples' lives. And these characters are real, so beautifully crafted, their world so evocatively realised. The gauche innocence of those young people, on the brink of horrors beyond their wildest imaginations, the exhortations to war from old men in no danger of being caught up with the conflict. All well known World War One themes, yet rendered fresh, powerful and compelling by the writer's seemingly effortless skill with story telling and portraying real emotions.
This is an exceptional book, one that deserves to do well. I would love to see it as required reading in secondary schools...as an example of wonderful writing, for the accurate portrayal of tragic years and as a sadly still topical read
Shelved with the greatest pleasure and respect

Oh, but this is good. I read Chs 1, 13 ,21 and couldn't resist peeking at the last chapter. I don't need to tell the author how well he can write. That's evident to anyone who reads the first couple of lines. Other authors flashed thro' my mind as I read...Graves, Sassoon, Faulks...but this is a unique voice in full flow. The book is clearly a labour of love. It starts with an evocation of a lost Edwardian England that the reader knows is going to be lost for ever. It is very poignant. The book is also very timely, given the existing wars we've been dragged into and deserves to be published for that reason alone. The author must make sure it happens. Backed.

Wow, Steven. This is a beautifully written book. I love character driven stories, so it was like this was written for me. You take us effortlessly to the past, and you don't hit us over the head with the history, or the things we should know about the time period. It's weaved into the story, the way that it should be. You don't tell us. You show us. It's the right way to do it. A few of the terms were a little out of my league, myself not being British, but it didn't get in the way at all. As a matter of fact, I think I got it!
I think the most important thing you did here was make the characters human. It sounds so easy to do, and is always difficult to accomplish. You did it flawlessly.
I love this book.

Shelved with pleasure.

Charley
"5ive Speed"

Steven, I know this has gone to print now, but I read it and couldnt but help to comment on it. Someone has already said its one of the best books they have seen on here and thats true. Its little wonder that it went to publish. Its a pity now that you dont come on the site and watch it anymore. Superb book and a must for all Authonimators....
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

Superbly written. I enjoyed this book immensely. The dialogue is good and truly takes you back to that time. Six stars from me.

Excellent job. I will WL and put on my shelf.

Abby

I saw that my friend, Daydreaming backed this (I find a lot of books this way!) The topic intrigues me and your cover is fantastic. Watchlisted for now and highly rated. I look forward to reading more. JKinkade

Fantastic news about Presumed Killed, Steven. So well deserved. I'm so chuffed you've made it into print. Restores my faith in the publishing industry!!

I commented on this a couple of years ago under the pen name I use for comic fiction (Evan Mann) and I can do no better than reprint what I said then:


This is wonderful work, Steven. The best thing I've read in ages by an absolute mile.

I remember looking at this a year or so ago - I've been a member under various names since the site started - and really enjoying it. It does feel much, much tighter now with no stumbles or hint of the writer's hand behind the words. The prose is just so smooth with a lovely understated lyricism (eg.'breath like buttered toast' 'the silence stretched like a cat' 'a canopy of kind, round leaves', 'girl-smell and sun-warmed cotton') which makes it a joy to read. The characters of Tolly, Harry and Ruth - as with Millbridge itself - are just so real. The dialogue feels very natural and adds good energy to the scenes. Subtle but convincing sense of time and place. The plot feels well-conceived and multi-layered and should appeal to a broad cross-section of readers.

In short, a silky-smooth, beautifully restrained opening. On my shelf and best of luck. Thanks. E

Great writing that flows well, only read a couple of chapters but I am impressed with your imagery and the characters are forming nicely at this point. One of those books you know you are going to enjoy. well done so far

regards

Cyrus

Presumed killed

Steven,

A work of art, plain and simple.

Have just seen this on Night Reading. This is a good read (understatement). It sets a scene, and a time, so well. I can smell the old musty church. I can feel Tolly sense of mischief as he sits, bored in teh church. then later he realises the situation.

A masterpiece. Evocative, beautifully written and deserving of all the praise that has been directed its way. I read up to Ch 12 in one sitting and have to go back now to finish it! Well done.

Fabulous writing. I can't add anything here that hasn't already been said. Vain Shadow is a book I would buy and recommend to others. The only thing that might make me pass it by, is the title - a little too forgettable. It's going on my shelf with high stars.

Great plot, and the writing is sound! I'm only in ch 3, but I was immediately hooked. Characterization is this writer's strong suit, along with effortless painting of the setting for us, so the time period isn't an "adjustment" we have to work into. I'm a big fan of war fiction, and I find this comparable to any good read of genre. My only, tiniest complaint (and we know this is a matter of style), but I found myself getting lost a few times in dialog with few or no speak tags. I know! Its what they preach to us now! I guess I'm a little dense. Otherwise, I say, please get marketing this great novel. Do you need a list of agents? Start at the top and work your way down. Don't sell yourself short by starting at the mom and pop types. You've got a great, marketable book here!

Vain Shadow was recommended by CC Brown author of Dark Side. I read, rated, and BACKED your work. Awesome read! Hope you have a chance to take a look at Dark Side and find a place for it on your shelf. Thanks.
Sue50

Evocative description passages give this a real sense of authenticity. The impetuous youths joining a war they don't fully understand no doubt mirrors the stories of so many of our war dead. I particularly like the diction, you carefully avoid using modern phraseology, which in turn creates the sense that you could almost be writing from memory. There are a few who may struggle with the scattershot nature of the changing scenes within scenes and there is a little unobtrusive repetition in the description of stretching clouds near the beginning of Ch 1 (after the lovely turn describing the stretching cat) but overall this is impressive writing. Best of luck.

Proof that bad press is better than no press. Your book came to my attention from the drama on the forum, and I'm glad it did. Excellent!

Hello, Steven. This book is a gem and is the kind of book I look for when I'm buying. No sense adding to what has already been said so many times, but I must say gripping and brilliant. Sorry, I'm just getting used to the new Authonomy ranking systems, so i took your book down a bit too quickly to make way for another. It was only up for about 38 hours (approx) so I don't know how much benefit you received. But rest assured, as you approach the ED, I'll be watching and happily give it a longer stay when needed.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

Easily one of the best books on the site - one of the best books I've read anywhere in recent times - it's such a pleasure to find a writer with such command of the technical aspects of a writer's craft as well as the ability to tell a story and hold the reader's attention.
Your pitches are succinct and effective, encouraging the reader onwards, but it within the book itself that the real delights are found. This is exactly the type of multi-layered character development that marks out the author as having gifts beyond the scope of so many others. I was captivated by your facility with language, that rare ability to say so much in a single phrase, vivid imagery and realistic dialogue, but the true value of Vain Shadow lies in its accuracy. I commend the evident depth of your research and your ability to take your reader into a different era and yet fix the attention on the story without a hint of uncertainty.
I'm delighted to place this excellent book on my shelf.
Jake

I can't think why I missed this until now. My loss indeed. It's a joy to read something so well polished with such a memorable storyline.
There is so much to commend this, well crafted characters who really do come to life, delicious 'pictures' both visual and original, 'her breath like buttered toast.' Far too many to mention. Sometimes you write such a little and yet it says so much, truly a master of poetic prose.
Much has been written to applaud this work, both the writing and the story so suffice I say, sprinkling with stars and on my shelf very shortly. Margaret.

Wonderful. Reading this book was like taking a journey. You put the work into it and I read it with great ease and enjoyment. I did like the ending. I don't know what more to say except as a published book, this will be regarded as top shelf.

This is beautifully written, Stephen. If it had been a paperback, I'd have read every word, but the screen just isn't the same. I've dotted about and read the beginning, sex with Ruth, a section in the trenches, the attempted suicide and then everything through to the epilogue.

Nothing jarred. Your characters are real, the dialogue works, the description is just right, your imagery is original and beautifully apt. I loved the silence which stretched like a cat, the wireless sets like little coffins in the old undertaker's window, and more that I can't flick about to find, without losing everything I've typed!

This is a book which deserves publication, and I rarely say that. Good luck with it. Six stars.

Rachel
Guardian of the Pegasus

Steve,

I started reading your Opus and here is my cent and half:

There is a lot to like in here.

First the compression. The amount of information you pack in the first paragraphs is eye popping.
My guess is, once a news man always a news man....lol. More than a story, what you have here is a series of close ups edited with the ruthless efficiency of an MTV video. I would criticize it, where not for the fact - and this is my guess - that you are trying to impress a film director....lol
In which case, well..... have it your way.

The initial flight of fancy is also interesting.
Now here is what is funny about it: it is the imagination the one that operates like an MTV video (i.e. ask Joyce if you don't believe me) and yet here you are not compressing.

which makes one go......mhhhhhhh

This compression gets post modern when you start inserting two metaphors per line (i.e. a la Marianne Moore):

"The canal dozed.....

You are never going to hear this writer complain about that.

The dialogue has a slapstick beat, which I guess you put it in there to evoke the times...
or maybe you are just the Gary Grant type...lol

some of my favorites:

"streaks of wispy...."

"high forehead corrugated with questions..."

"tongues lolling"

"A bitter swirl of freezing air......"

Here is my only Minor/Minorest/Minormost point:

By the time I got to ch 6 I noticed a dramatic decrease in the verbal pyrotechnics.
A little bit like a sci fy movie: you spent all your money on the first 5 minutes?

Here is the reason why that matters:

You are writing for two generations with very different reading traditions;
There is us, old lizards taught by Updike & co to search for ruthless efficiency....move the plot as if you were driving a Ferrari

Then you got the millennium kids, whose key reference is rap, and the post modern writers (Foster Wallace/Eggers/Bolanos/Safran etc)

Those creatures are used to the rap dictum:

I do this...I do that.... I think this....I think that.

For them them language is the plot. And so they look for the verbal pyrotechnics.
If you want both readers you have to keep pumping them up, like you did on the first chapter.

Overall wonderful

David

Steven,
Vain Shadow begins extremely well. Amazing how many fine elements are utilized even in the first chapter (youthful fervor, poignancy, ambience). I've read enough to know I'm backing this for a nice stint, with plenty of stars. I'm a fan of the era, as well. Nonetheless, the writing is excellent.
Regards,
John B Campbell (Walk to Paradise Garden)

VAIN SHADOW
Everything has been said. This is a fine book. I'm halfway through, but had to stop to back you. My compliments.
Lenore
Surviving the Seaweed

I love this. Paragraphs like the one beginning: "The canals dozed between willows..." are pure simple beauty. I was drawn right into this story, loving Tolly and Harrry and Ruth, and finding myself very compelled to find out what becomes of them all. I hope there is still a market for this genre!

A fine piece of writing. The short extract I have read was both commanding and compelling. Backed with pleasure.

Richard

Steven,
You pulled me right into the era,in church, sitting by the canal, in uniform marching, boarding the train. Tolly, Harry, Ruth, 1914. In just a few chapters you broke my heart several times for I know what's coming. I'd forgotten how young men ran away to war to grow up if they lived, how mothers and grandmothers and sweethearts believe that was how it was Your story made me angry--when will we ever learn? If I were an agent or a publisher I'd swoop this up, promote it, I'd buy it. I saw a couple nits, an unnecessary that, a mixed up sentence, but Steve i didn't stop to jot it down, your story was too good. Best of luck. I'd appreciate if you'd look at Summer Rose--another war, another story.
Caroline
Summer Rose.

Superb, Steven. Will back this when I have some space.
John.

Steven,

It took me a while to get round to your book, but I'm pleased no longer!. What a writer you are. Everything flows so smoothly, like one of the literary masters. Your style reminds me of the classics. Your well chosen words are not wasted in the least, characters alive with the sweep of a brush, no need for heavy adjectives or long drawn out sentences. You catch the tone of the time well, in an instant with small reminders of shillings, and shiners and slaps, and bits of authentic dialogue.

Brilliant.

I've only managed to read 2 chapters, but I will back it and read more later.

I'm sure this will do well.

Best of Luck
Marilyn

Steven,

It took me a while to get round to your book, but I'm pleased no longer!. What a writer you are. Everything flows so smoothly, like one of the literary masters. Your style reminds me of the classics. Your well chosen words are not wasted in the least, characters alive with the sweep of a brush, no need for heavy adjectives or long drawn out sentences. You catch the tone of the time well, in an instant with small reminders of shillings, and shiners and slaps, and bits of authentic dialogue.

Brilliant.

I've only managed to read 2 chapters, but I will back it and read more later.

I'm sure this will do well.

Best of Luck
Marilyn

This is the type of writing that can make a lot of the rest of us feel inadequate but it can also leave others cold.The Great War, that distant conflict which generally still only ever evokes revulsion can result in the senses being deadened to new ideas unless those ideas are unique. "Presumed Killed" might not what be what I look for in a war novel, depending on how I am feeling at the time. But it is literary fiction of a high order; there is no doubt of its originality.

A quarter of the way in I'll add my tuppence on what I've read so far.

The first thing that strikes is how quick and sharp the characterisation is. One or two sentences like bold brushstrokes and we have a complete sense of each character, often the physical appearence as well as the personality: "He had wide and wary hazel eyes, a high foreead corrugated with questions and an unfinished mouth capable of turning cynical one day." Lines like these kept reminding me of Nabakov's comment on Gogol, that many of his characters lived entire lives in single sentences.

The writing is so fluent that it is a joy too read and the sense of time and place comes in naturally through the dialogue, thus avoiding the common pitfall of historical fiction in going into too much description.

The relationships between the characters are also fully realised even at this early stage which makes the book deeply moving - particularly Tolly's relationship to his mother and gradnfather, and to Ruth. In fact, they're so well realised that it's hard to picture where they will go from here. But I'm sure the war will take care of that.

This is exquisite. Very much looking forward to reading on.

Brilliant.

Ok, I've read your book with a view of commenting on how you've written it rather than plot or anything detailed. I decided not to take notes of minor things. There's too much for me to sit at a computer reading it all, because reading from computer screens hurts my eyes, but...I read your first chapter and then took chapters at random as people on authonomy very often seem to critique the first few chapters.

Your standard of writing hadn't decreased at all in the later chapters and your style has stayed constant throughout. Your characters are believable and the pace you run with the story is constant too and keeps the reader involved. Dialogue runs naturally and the characters seem real.

Your short pitch is excellent, however my greatest (and only real) problem with your book is its title. The title does no favours for it. Perhaps 'Lost in Action' might suit the tone and meaning of your book?

Regards,
Joe

Steven,
All I can say is, I am so glad I wrote my own World War One story before reading yours or I never would have bothered. I've just finished as far the end of chapter 15 and have no hesitation in backing it immediately. The lyricism of the prose set against the reality it describes lends a tension to this work, rendering it as moving as any of this kind I've ever read. I want this on paper as soon as possible and (even if it looks a little like mutual masturbation) will certainly be plugging it in coming weeks - whether it needs it or not.
Russell

This is a very impressive read. There are many characters whose lives are tracked through the plot, the first line of the novel setting the theme nicely. I loved touches such as 'whisper thin wedding ring' and the description of how pain lines are etched on the faces of soldiers who have screamed for hours. I did wonder whether Ruth's thoughts about the missing Tolly when in the graveyard would have been better told the reader via someone talking to her, reasoning about what 'missing' might mean. High stars and that rare thing these days, a place on a shelf. Super stuff, highly recommended. BACKED. Lara
GOOD FOR HIM

Presumed Killed

It is my pleasure to re-shelf this fabulous manuscript. Still love the title.
I whole-heartly believe it needs to be published.

A zoomer

Nit pic: In the epilogue - I'd wonder about equivalently pregnant- are you saying they are due at the same time or are they the same size? and you follow with they are both expecting around Christmas.

An extremely well written - well planned book Steven.


You incorporate the history of the moment into the story, instead of the other way around which makes Presumed Killed infinitely more readable than just about anything else I’ve read in this genre.

You’ve captured the mood of the times brilliantly as far as I’m concerned.

The for Queen and Country propaganda - the almost nonchalant notion that the war will be over in a few weeks - together with the more sober observations of the realities of war, helps create an overall picture of a nation not knowing what they’re getting into. This is highlighted expertly through young Tolly and Harry - their fervent patriotic naivety, matched by Ruth’s wary intuitiveness.

The lovely contrast of innocence and bloody reality is demonstrated perfectly in chapters 10 and 11.

The writing as far as I see is flawless, and ready for the editors desk. You’ve created a myriad of characters in the first ten chapters of the book, but they don’t trip over each other - and the strength of the three main characters is kept intact.

And as I said before - you don’t allow the events of the day to dictate the story you’re telling the reader, but instead thread the history into the story - keeping the characters to the fore.

I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read very much Steven, and wish you all the best with Presumed Killed, when it reaches the Ed’s desk.

Backed as soon as…

James.

PRESUMED KILLED

Dear Steven Wyatt,
I love everything about this - the characters, the setting, the dialogue, the story, the writing.
I must be published except without the first sentence. It billboards- tells us what we will hear in the sermon instead of letting us hear the sermon.
Full stars to this amazing piece.
A Zoomer

Steven, I've read five chapters of your book and am really impressed by your virtuoso command of the English language. You are a very skilled writer. I also think that your story is very moving and authentic. I don't feel qualified to comment on it any further as it is not in my genre and way above my own light-reading stuff but I think it will be liked by many readers, young and old. I've given it 5 stars and am hesitating about putting it on my shelf. Everybody stresses that I should only shelve books I really want to back (including you). After I've read some more books here, I will decide. Best of luck, Femmy.

A re-shelving for an excellent book

Pat

Steven:

What can I say? This is literature. I had the same sense of excitement when starting your book that I've had reading the first few paragraphs of other great works of fiction. By the end of the first chapter I felt I knew Tolly, Harry and Ruth and could begin to understand the arc of their individual stories amidst the first Great War. Then Tolly using his persuasive skills (and father's looks) to convince his mother that he needed to sign up for the war, that his father would want him to serve, was handled so convincingly I pictured it like a scene from a movie. The scene at the teashop in Chapter 4, when Tolly wants Ruth to take his (and Harry's) enlistment seriously is poignant and extremely well crafted. In four short chapters you have set the stage for what can only be a remarkable story. I am eager to read on.

By the way, I believe the short chapters (after the first) work very well in pushing the story forward at a good clip--not rushed, but not lingered over too much. Your language is confident, and your images are spot on--allowing the reader to understand he/she is in the hands of a competent storyteller. In some ways I feel your talent is wasted here on Authonomy; Presumed Killed should already be published.

Good luck with it.
Rob

HI Steven.
This book of yours has got what it takes to be a success story , really, i can only concur with all the comments it has already and to endorse, that it's superb literary writing and deserves to be published.
the pitch alone has that guess game in the last line ' the truth, what is the truth? one has to read on !
Tolly the main characters mind fantasies seven or eight paragraphs down is a graphic read in itself ' as he stirs up the troops, bayonets at the ready, charge, the war is won,home, medal on chest, Ruth in the distance. all this said in eight lines, great to the point writing, many lines to remember like the irish priest from st theresa's and how he cautioned them against the temptations in foreign places and to be carefull, An Irish priest, yes, i like it . as i do the prose moving into song-Tickler's jam----that and every other line on the battle front sounding so real and graphic,
How can i not mention the jazz chapters and how well it captures the era and then chapter 46 a musicians dream, as he awakes in a satin sheeted bed with two women making love beside him, having heard stories about musicians before this chapter is spot on . This book is without a doubt a pager turner with it's short snappy chapters that keep the pace moving along in a very readable fashion.
backed with six stars
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'

A stunning book, exposing the horrors of the First World War and the suffering of those who survived it as they tried to come to terms with all they had experienced. Tolly's story could be that of any young soldier misled by the propagander. The dada and Bauhaus movements and jazz clubs that are so synonymous with the social reaction to the war contrast starkly with the hard lives of poverty and joblessness that most of the soldiers returned to. This is historical fiction at its best.

Backed with pleasure, best of luck.

Jack

Mr Wyatt,

I've read chapters 1-4 so far, and I've for the most part liked what I read. I had some ideas that might be helpful.

In chapter two, I felt it could be made clearer earlier that it's Tolly's mother that is providing the viewpoint. I had to reread some paragraphs once I realized that.

Also, the paragraph where it switches from Tolly's dialogue to his mother's thoughts saying he's changed the subject off of Ruth is a bit abrupt. Could perhaps that paragraph be integrated with the dialogue of the mother, rather than the way it is now?

In chapter four, you had a good first couple of sentences regarding Miranda Lockwood. There's something funny about the ways gossips can be described, and Miranda, the great frog, is great! The last sentence of paragraph six is a bit confusing: "the old Methodist watching whom?" Is it Tolly's mother, since she was referred to in chapter two as a Methodist? Is Tolly's mother watching Miranda? If so, why? I wasn't sure what was going on.

Paragraph eleven excellently conveys the boys' excitement at joining the Army. It fits in with that whole excitement that we also see in Gone With the Wind: "Oh, this is so exciting! And the war will be over in just a few weeks! I hope they leave me someone to fight!" It's sad in retrospect regarding both wars.

In chapter four, when Miranda Lockwood is reintroduced, perhaps a paragraph skip could be used, to indicate changing locations/times? Right now, we're one moment at the bakery, the next at the tea shop.

So far, overall, I like it!

samcan

Well done. An excellent example of the perfect blend of dialog and narrative. It's easy to see the scene in the minds eye. Everything a book should be.

Pamela Frost
Houses of Cards

I do not feel qualified to comment on your book but as a reader I have to say it is one of the best I have read on here. Your writing is beautifully and carefully crafted. I will learn a lot about writing, simply by reading more of this book. It deserves to be published and I will support it all I can right to the desk and beyond. Thank you Steven for a moving and exquisite read. Backed with pleasure and left on my shelf. Not idle flattery, Steven. You are an exceptional writer.

Presumed Killed. Notes.

The writing is delicate and easily paced, short paragraphs freighted with many meanings build a mosaic of the Cheshire countryside before The War. The characterisation is sure and gentle, the wider world of the book is deftly evoked with glimpses into the lives of those that brush against the main characters touched in with the sort of telling detail that short story writers strive for. The vignettes build into a convincing tale of the reality of War meeting patriotic and idealistic youth in the head-on collision that was the summer of 1914.

1.

Within the first few paragraphs I found the writing to be noticeably self-consciously literary, the author evincing a desire to turn every phrase to account. Nothing wrong with that, so far as it goes, I like literary writing, as long as I like it--I don't know that I like to be made aware of it. Like scholarship, I prefer it when it does not intrude. I might be overly sensitive to the quality of the writing because I have been doing a fair bit of close reading recently, I'll see how I get on. I will say that it might work better to ease off on the pedal at the start, and weave more more meanings into the tapestry after you have plucked the reader into the warp and weft of your tale.

Some of the turns of phrase are very fine, though, so if you do change anything, only do it because you know it will definitely make it better.

I would have a more significant break after the reminiscence about the charcoal burners, a paragraph means the jump in time back to the present is a bit jarring.

The hare's blood on the grass, it seemed as if more could be made of the senses here, getting the reader to feel with Ruth.

All Saints sat amidst its harvest of history . . . I don't know why this particular line didn't appeal to me, but I immediately thought 'sat amidst its harvest of lives' . . . Hmm Getting morbid in preparation for the front.

A first chapter that does a lot with little evident effort, like a swimming swan.

2.

I think you overdo the unseen presence of the grandfather. I know, some people will say it's the finest part of the whole tome, just my opinion . . . giving off a stale malevolence, like a diseased hangman . . . lovely phrase, but it seems over the top for someone that they manage to live in the same house with--who is not a parasitical slumlord.

A short chapter, which did what it needed to, showed Tolly's life in a wider view than hitherto and dropped the bombshell question, 'can I go to the War, Mother?'

3.

Again, short and sweet and doing the needful, nothing to take exception to here, unless I tried really hard . . . The atmosphere of the Drill Hall could possibly be brought out more, involving the senses??? The noise, the clatter of clogs, the smell of the press of bodies . . .

4.

Miranda makes a fine POV character, fleshing out the life of the community in a deft sweep. This is very well handled, broad, humorous, but avoiding caricature .

A fine evocation of the atmosphere at the start of the war, the patriotism, the worry, the uncertainty, the wishful thinking that tried to hide the larger concerns, the popular support for the troops, all present and correct. Again, it could be just a little more involving. No point saving it for the trenches, you might as well drag the reader in as deep as you can so they're really mired when you get them to the front.

5.

Trog is a character that it will be a shame to leave behind. A bit of ballast to the youthful exuberance.

6.

More freight than ballast, this chapter carries a lot of weight. Not far off perfect, in my opinion.

I like this! An evocative historical novel with subtle story telling and characters. The prose is confident and flowing. A good strong voice. Fine dialogue. Not sure what else I can say. Read the book: it speaks for itself.

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

I enjoyed what I read of this. Only misgiving was the rhythmic repeat of the word “sermon” – it’s the fifth word of the first para; the fifth word of the third para; and the fourth word of the fifth para. Felt like the narrative had indigestion the third time.

Wonderful writing, a very popular topic and setting. Chapter 11 is wonderfully done. Not just a 'look how awful this is' description, but seen through the eyes of the man on his way out to where they just came from. I'm continuing to read this, and will shelve it when I can change over. So many great books on here, I need another shelf.
Cariad
STONES.

This is a brilliant book!! It takes one right back to pre-war days, when everyone assumed it was just a 'little skirmish' that would soon be over. When war sounded a real adventure - just a lark- but then comes the reality!
Although it's been nearly seventy years, to some poor people it must seem as if the war was only yesterday.
(And even now, nothing seems to have changed much where fighting is concerned)
Your characters are so real, it's rather frightening. I hope you do well with this. Good luck. Backed with pleasure and on w/l.

Kate Grimes- LIZZIE - CUPPA TALES

Presumed Killed
I had to come and re-visit the book where I discovered the ‘voice of polished wood’ and I’m so glad I did as I’m reminded how I first felt. This novel sings. There are so many wonderfully inventive phrases here that ring out from the page – all legs and glee, and that voice of polished wood, the catch in his walk – marvellous.
I'd buy this book from the pitch alone (it's brilliant) without any knowledge of the wonderful treat within its pages. I want to repeat what Sheila Belshaw wrote: “This is a spell-binding, page-turning, tear-jerking, must-read novel”. Yes, superb literary fiction. It’s exquisite. I’m in awe.
Diana