Book Jacket

 

rank 5846
word count 30397
date submitted 10.09.2008
date updated 08.09.2009
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction
classification: moderate
incomplete

Breaking the Surface

B. P. Thompson

If civilisation seemed in irreversible decline, how would men and women perceive it? Deal with it? Be rescued from it?

 

The story centres on two key characters: Kim Barnes, a gifted blues singer wrestling with an intense conflict between musical purity and her envy of a former friend; and Frank McCombie, an intelligent and educated man who shuns the world and lives rough. Gradually revealed are hidden connections between these and other characters through their strivings for success and meaning.

(Novel completed - 86,300 words, and now published. Available on Amazon or www.melrosebooks.com
ISBN 978 1 906561 73 4)

 
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tags

common humanity, political, provocative, reflective, struggle, topical

on 1 watchlists

13 comments

 

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Chapters

10

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Ten

Thursday 29th December had that slow-motion feel to it that sets in between Boxing Day and New Year's Eve. Greg was alone in the house for the first time in a week and one hundred and forty pages into The New Media Generation.  During the first ninety pages the author gave her views on news management and provided some good first hand anecdotes about editors making perverse decisions on what was news and what was not news. Her argument was that a lot goes on that would be useful for the public to know if only the information made it into the bulletins or the news pages. She then went on to make a series of points about the use of language in news reporting and Greg found he needed to put the book down and hear a few examples for himself. He turned on the TV news channel and adopted a critical ear.  

    A mobile phone started ringing upstairs.  Kim must have left it behind, was Greg's first thought, but when he got upstairs the ringing was coming from Roy's room. It was the new one Greg had bought him for Christmas, he obviously hadn't got used to carrying it around yet. It was beside his bed and it stopped ringing when Greg's hand was about nine inches from it. He picked it up anyway and it seemed logical to switch it off as Roy was out, but then he remembered Michelle from the admin office at work. Her son had forgotten his phone one day and she turned it off. He went bananas, apparently, when he came back because he couldn't find out who might have called him. If it had been left on there would have been a 'missed calls' list he could check. Roy left it on and put it back by the bed.

    There was a piece of paper sticking out from under the pillow on Roy's bed. Greg didn't normally poke around at things in Roy's room, but he had pulled it out and looked at it before thinking about it.

    It was a poem, handwritten by Roy. Underlined at the top of the page was the title: True Dreams. Below the title: by Roy Curtis Barnes, and below that, the poem:

 

            In my dreams

            Women in black play violins

            In reality

            Women in grey think I'm dead

            In my dreams

            The ocean is giving and restful

            In reality

            There are shivering fathoms

            In my dreams

            My guitar sings to you

            In reality

            The blues are black and real

            In my dreams

            My thoughts are new and fresh

            In reality

            My mind is full of junk

            In my dreams

            I understand and live your pain

            In reality

            I look and can’t bear to see

            In my dreams

            Tomorrow will be different

            In reality

            Today will never end

            In my dreams

            I escape

            In reality

            The tunnel is dark.

 

    After four lines the first bite of a tear was in Greg's eye. As he finished the poem he had to put it down quickly before he cried all over it. He sat on the bed and lined up the questions: did Roy really write this; has he written any more; did it come from the grief of losing his mother; does he need some help from a doctor, or me, or some kind of counsellor; how can I talk about it to him?

    Greg was convinced the feeling of the poem was connected with Stephanie's death, particularly the line about women playing violins. Stephanie's mother played the violin and for a while she was a member of a professional orchestra. Stephanie would take Roy to concerts to see his Gran and, of course, they would always choose seats opposite the violin section. Roy was only five or six at the time but he enjoyed the spectacle of it all. The music itself didn’t impress him much, he would get bored and wriggle around, and they did have to leave early once or twice because he disturbed the other concert-goers. But Stephanie saw it as a unique opportunity to expose Roy to high culture and Greg had no doubt she was right to give it a try. He had not gone along himself and Stephanie never appeared to mind, but after she died it was another of those things he felt guilty about. He could have gone, but he really didn’t like classical music and he knew at the time that he might have influenced Roy against what his mother was trying to do. If ever he had fallen asleep and snored during a quiet bit Roy would have loved it and Stephanie would have gone ballistic.

    The maturity of the poem troubled Greg as he read through it again. It expressed some pretty heavy stuff for a twelve year old and seemed to express it very well. Did Roy perhaps have some talent for this kind of thing? He did do well in English at school; perhaps it was a school exercise, perhaps they had been asked to write a poem about something personal. Greg couldn't imagine Roy reading it out in class, or even handing it in to a teacher. No, it just couldn't be a school thing. Most likely, it was a personal expression of something churning around inside Roy, which he had managed to perhaps resolve a little by putting it into words.

    The temptation to hunt around for more poems was intense, but Greg resisted and slipped the poem back under Roy's pillow exactly as he had found it. He didn’t know how he would bring it up with Roy but he knew he would do. He was sure an opportunity would come, he must make sure he didn’t miss it when it did.

    Back downstairs, the news reports were rolling along. A group of people calling themselves ‘The Real Millennium Association’ were planning a special New Year’s Eve celebration for the start of 2001. One of them was explaining to an interviewer why 2000 had actually been the final year of the second millennium. The next item was an update on the total amount killed in the Florida nightclub fire. It was now confirmed as five hundred and eighty one. Seventeen of them were British people taking a Christmas holiday in the USA, and a BBC reporter was interviewing the family of one victim from Yorkshire. Greg picked up the remote and tried another channel, he could not face any more news about that tragedy. It was so unbearably horrific and the news bulletins had of course been filled with it every day.  Greg was concerned about the strength of the emotions he experienced as soon as any more mention of it came on yet again. It was kicking him right back to the level grief he suffered over Stephanie's death, and he could not cope with it. His thumb pressed through the channels while his eyes rejected every image. His brain finally swung the thumb to the 'off' button and his legs took him to the window. Fatty Tom was outside sitting in the middle of the drive looking towards the road. There was nothing there, but Tom stared at it as if nothing was something. Perhaps there was something there, perhaps the road and the house opposite and the lime tree a bit to the left were enough for Tom. He was a wise fat cat. 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapters

10

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Derec wrote 1690 days ago

I still don't know why this isn't further up the list. It's well written and engaging and explores the most profound themes with a light touch.

I would like to see more references, oblique or not, to those themes in the early chapters, something to cling on to, to pull us through the text.

Derec wrote 1692 days ago

I like the idea and the scope of this and it's going on my shelf now, it deserves a boost in the ratings as it is very well written as well.

Richie C wrote 1704 days ago

Conceptually this is a big one. I like the pastoral imagery of the opening and the idea of a world without humans is certainly very current.
I have added you my watchlist - best of luck and I look forward to delving deeper into this very interesting concept.

Elly wrote 1705 days ago

Complex, detailed and intriguing. Love Greg's thoughts on C.D. cases.

Elly

Steven Wyatt wrote 1712 days ago

Instantly intrigued by your story...I've put it on my watchlist. Some vivid phraseology here, the sort of writing that keeps things moving. Talent.

Nick Poole2 wrote 1189 days ago

ARISE, AUTHONOMY GHOST!

Ease those weary, withered limbs from your coffin. Push away the stone from the mouth of the tomb.

You have one last task to perform. One last, sacred shelf to confer.

Whether you were plugger, spammer, gusher or troll, whether you flirted or fought in the forum or beavered away in the shadows, now is the time for your resurrection.

One last time. Marshall your strength, muster the last vestiges of your power and carry out your final Authonomy act:

Back my book, MIRROR IN THE SKY.

Then, only then, you may rest easy in your Authonomy grave.

Nick Poole2 (formerly known as NickP)

Kayte Thompson wrote 1667 days ago

Hey Dad - This is awesome! I love it, Greg and the CD cases has had me laughing out loud! Love you. Kayte

fommytarr wrote 1676 days ago

Hi Brian, Steve told me about the book and I'm making my way through it now as I have plenty of time on my hands at the moment. Very good to see Fatty Tom incorporated into what has started out as a very good read. Congratulations on your foray into the literary world.

Tom

jmac wrote 1686 days ago

Hi BP, sorry not to have got back to you sooner, with work, reading, family and everything but I have to tell you that I read the 1st five chapters a couple of weeks ago and thought I left a comment then, but obviously I didn't.
I was drawn to your story by the blurb. I like the idea that someone has got it in their head to do something about the world - put it right. The thought that he would live on the road, as it were, take an old house and use it as a base, pinch the odd bit of food to keep him going, gives that element of seclusion and one wonders what he's likely to do. Then you bring in Kim and the music and the story develops through the characters. I'm enjoying this story and glad to see you have it all up. You are a good writer and I'm looking forward to reading more. By the way, thanks for taking a look at my offering, not to everyone's taste but there for a bit of fun. Jim

Derec wrote 1690 days ago

I still don't know why this isn't further up the list. It's well written and engaging and explores the most profound themes with a light touch.

I would like to see more references, oblique or not, to those themes in the early chapters, something to cling on to, to pull us through the text.

Derec wrote 1691 days ago

thanks for your comment BP

Derec wrote 1692 days ago

I like the idea and the scope of this and it's going on my shelf now, it deserves a boost in the ratings as it is very well written as well.

Celia Hayes wrote 1702 days ago

Interesting set up, and builds very subtly. I've added to my watchlist

Richie C wrote 1704 days ago

Conceptually this is a big one. I like the pastoral imagery of the opening and the idea of a world without humans is certainly very current.
I have added you my watchlist - best of luck and I look forward to delving deeper into this very interesting concept.

hallyally wrote 1704 days ago

BP thanks for your comment and suggestions re my book - much appreciated.
This is intriguing stuff - lovely style and mysterious start - shame the pitch spills the beans about JFK's death - it would catch my breath otherwise when the announcement comes on the radio. Just my opinion sorry! I like to be surprised.....good luck with this - it's a great read. Alison

Elly wrote 1705 days ago

Complex, detailed and intriguing. Love Greg's thoughts on C.D. cases.

Elly

Steven Wyatt wrote 1712 days ago

Instantly intrigued by your story...I've put it on my watchlist. Some vivid phraseology here, the sort of writing that keeps things moving. Talent.

JDalton wrote 1712 days ago

Hiya - still figuring out how to use this site. Just wanted to say thanks for the comments on my book and I hope you continue reading and let me know what you think when you reach the end. I kind of expected/am expecting it to sink without trace on this site :)

Had a look at yours and I can identify with the opening, liking a landscape uninterrupted, or at least undominated, by humans. I currently live in London and that's probably the prime motivation for moving out (my flat's on the market) :)

Will read more when I get the chance. Thanks again,

Jon

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