Cross Talk

This is a great read!
There is a lot to like about this, from the beginning where the story hits the ground running to the detailed descriptions of Mexico. What I like about this the most is the reason the old Soviets decide to get involved in the drug trade in the first place; it seems to be more due to pragmatism than any real political motive. In fact when the story gets to the Cuban side of the story it just adds to the ambiguity of who the bad guys are, other than the Drugs Tzars. It's hard to know where Derek will finish up. Backed.

The Nomad
THE ISLAND EXPERIMENT

Terence, I loved Cross Talk. I don't know whether you'd find this a compliment but when I started reading it, I felt the excitement of reading any of Robert Ludlum's books. I know some artistes do not like to be compared even to such luminaries such as Ludlum, so I hope you forgive me. But in terms of writing (here I am not an expert - I just go with what I feel and experienced), your writing is detailed - just like Ludlum (my hero, btw), your words are not superfluous, not verbose - you have chosen the right words to describe the scene yet move the story onwards. These words are not only providing me a good, fluid read but are able to create moving images in my head - it is like watching my own private movie. Ok, this message is getting rather long - thank you Terence for placing Cross Talk here - when it gets published please send me a signed copy (hehehe, ok pushing my luck here!) All the best, Hanyxxx

You know when the prologue of a book grabs you by the throat and punches you in the face, that you’ve got a good read on your hands. There is a lot going on in Cross Talk, especially for a thriller. But author Terrence Allen Gilbert manages the chaos like a ringmaster in the circus, keeping the show moving along and never letting us get bored (or lost) in the action. Cross Talk thus becomes a thinking man’s thriller with great dialog, an intricate backstory and believable characters doing some really extraordinary things. It’s better than most of the normal thrillers already in bookstores today.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

You strike a fluent, effective balance. Descriptive narrative, the MC's thoughts and reactions, dialogue, all occur naturally. You establish a sense of place that stays with the reader, educating us along the way, using landmarks, local color, language and culture. The opening chapters give a sense of building to a crescendo. This is a fine book and worthy of publication. Thanks so much for bringing your manuscript to my attention. A joy to read.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Terrence, you are a highly skilled writer. This is well done and polished. You start off with a prologue that hooks the reader, then you slow it down and show us what the story is going to be about and introduce the characters. I love it. This is how it's done. The success of this book is well deserved. Backed.

J. Moore
Vigilante

Terrence, I cant critique your book, but what I can say is that I enjoyed the story line and I liked the instant hooks to it. You have a cool voice for this genre of boob and you use your characters well. I can see this doing really well with a story line like this. A bit of a shocker of a first paragraph which will get the reader at this early stage. I enjoyed this and will be scoring it high. Oh and by the way. I read three chapters. Well done.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

Your pitch drew me in and i'm glad it did. It was a great read and I hope it goes far.
Leslie
"Love has no borders"

I remember this well. I've been in a nostalgic mood tonight, looking again at books I haven't seen on here for ages. :)

Your writing's so tense and pacey. It really put me on the edge of my seat from the very start.

There are all the ingredients of a great thriller and pageturner here. Crime, drugs and violence. + you evoke a remarkable sense of place in your story. It's like I'm right in the thick of the action. :)

Since this new starring system didn't exist the 1st time I read this, I'm giving you the maximum 6 stars right now. Great stuff.

I wish you the best of luck getting published. I think your book has loads of potential. :)

Pete

Your story has great pace and a realistic setting. Honestly, I don't think I'd change anything. It seems very real. Good job.
If you have the time, could you take a look at Alexis and possibly back? If you don't have the time, I completely understand. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

--Shieldmaiden

It starts tough and continues with its MC bravely suffering blows, loss of digits and keeping his end up. It's a good thriller and is going on my shelf as soon as there's a space. It won't attract ladies in pink but for the rest of humanity, it's a seller. Lara
GOOD FOR HIM

i would like to spend more time in latin america. but having a little bit of different experiences than this...supporitng you once again...merry Christmas,
j

Your novel stands apart from usual story telling of a thriller. The involvement of old Soviets in drug trade is new information for a large scale of people. You are delving into a fact and searching for grassroots of it. Capturing ability of this thriller will be giving you a prominent place among contemporary writers.

Joy J Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

I can't wait to get into your book, Terrence. I am living in Cuernavaca, Mexico and have written a true story about U.S. politics here and it overlaps your story. It encompasses your story. The U.S. presidency has been rigged since 1960 and I have been involved in it. I want your support for my story when it breaks in the press and I would like you to think of my book as part of the launch of a global political movement. Please feel free to get into my political reports in Revolution or Extinction. Don't let some of the also true outer space stuff in it freak you out or diminish my credibility. My book is not historical fiction. It is historical fact and it includes my real legal briefs from my pseudo-terrorism case in U.S. federal court in July, 2003, after I was rounded up in a post-9/11 Homeland Security sweep. Mark Lee Krangle

Terrence,

It looks like you have a good shot at reaching the editor's desk. You wanted some feedback, so here it goes.
Chapter 1 was on fire. I was hooked. I thought after a year of working on this, you've got it together.
Chapter 2 I said to myself what the heck happened? I about quit, but wanted to know where the train wreck happened, in my mind, or the order.
Chapter 3 you got right back on track. I would love to be able to read it all, but I'm not overly interested in Mexico or the drug wars. I think you tell a good story, and if you stick with a straight timeline you'll do great. Maybe stick with Derek in hospital in 2, or at least tell me what happens. Maybe talk of the guys who robbed him in two and who they are. I would read a book like this if it was about a person, not a country.
If you're going to do a book about Mexico and drug wars, do a history style book. A novel is about characters and how they adapt to conflict.
I wish you luck in getting this book published.

Hello Terrence, Thanks very much for backing "Annabella and Other Stories" and for calling my attention to your novel. After reading only your first chapter, I've decided to back "Cross Talk" and to return later for comments. I've been trying to back other books, but my shelf refuses them--a problem with the new system. When this is fixed, I'll let you know. Meanwhile, I hope you'll take a look at "The Doctor of Summitville," which received over 500 complimentary reviews over the past 15 months. Thanks again, Bill

Hello Terrence, Thanks very much for backing "Annabella and Other Stories" and for calling my attention to your novel. After reading only your first chapter, I've decided to back "Cross Talk" and to return later for comments. I've been trying to back other books, but my shelf refuses them--a problem with the new system. When this is fixed, I'll let you know. Meanwhile, I hope you'll take a look at "The Doctor of Summitville," which received over 500 complimentary reviews over the past 15 months. Thanks again, Bill

Hello Terrence, Many thanks for backing "Anabella and Other Stories" and for your kind comments. I've been unable to back books (a problem with the system) but will try to shelve yours. If it works, I'll follow with comments. Best of luck, Bill

A great read. There's nothing like a great thriller, and this story qualifies. Thanks for the invite to review and back, which I've done.

Shelly
A Duke from the Past, The Scandalous Tutor

Typically not my genre, I still found this to be an intriguing read reminiscent of Robert Ludlum. Terrence, I think you have a winner here!

Backed with stars!
Justis Call
Prestidigitations

The book starts off strong, though the dialogue of the muggers sounds a bit like a 1970s blackploitation film. You may want to tweak that a bit as it makes things sound dated. What really resonated for me were the descriptions and details, which make everything seem real. A lot of potential here!

John Fracchia
The Chronicles of the Myst-Clipper Shicaine

Definitely caught my attention from the beginning. Backed.

Cat
"Twisted"

I like what I’m seeing here. A gripping prologue connects us to the MC and sets up a theme and a thread that gets carried forward to support character development and the story. The “business-as-usual” beginning is colorful, and we see more seeds and symbols planted as more characters and objectives emerge.

The reader does not get immediate gratification. He has to shift gears to let the subplots in. The payoff is suspense and a complex plot that builds and builds and has the reader yearning for some kind of relief.

The characters are well-defined and well-developed. Derek the MC is easy to identify with and the villain Mata is one we love to hate. Big guns get pulled in on both sides. The Cubans for the bad guys and the CIA on the home team. The supporting villains are countered by supporting good guys and one heart throb of a heroine.

The action scenes get the heart racing, drive the plot and keep the pages turning. When the MC creates an electronic version of “The Man Who Never Was” and leverages the strengths of allies to thicken the scheme, you’re saying to yourself “yes, yes…go, go.” But the writer doesn’t make it easy. More hurdles to overcome force further character development and a mustering of inner strength. Here’s looking forward to a rewarding climax.

HI. Thrillers aren't a genre I have much experience with. I should tell you, too, that I consider feedback more valuable than backing on this site. So, that's what I offer.

I'm a bit confused about the relationship between the prologue and chapter one. Technically, the prologue should detail events that happened prior to the beginning of the story, but I know a lot of folk use it as a teaser. I didn't see anything in chapter one that allowed me to orient it, timeline-wise, with the prologue.

Oh, and in the prologue, everything is in 3rd person limited, Derek's perspective, except one line - the one about Andrea being in shock, right near the end. If he's out cold, he wouldn't know that.

Is the plot problem about the need to put encryption on the network, or the need to get the network in without running afoul of the cartels? Not stepping on cartel toes would seem to me to be a more pressing problem, and I believe small changes in wording could make it clear that it's the real danger, not the possible loss of income.

This book has an interesting theme and the early chapters are laced with plenty of menace, hinting at much nastiness to come, no doubt. But for me the dialogue let it down, in each case going on a little too long and containing too much exposition – not all of it really necessary, I don’t think. In some places I found myself ... dare I say it ... a little bored. The story started to become most interesting from the last para of Chapter 3 onwards (although again in Chapter 4 there was too much expositional dialogue). I think some hefty pruning would improve what appears a really strong storyline with a thoroughly researched setting.

Hello Terrence, thank you for backing Dawn of Shadows. Best of luck with Cross Talk, I still consider it to be one of the best thrillers I have come across on the site.

Jack

Judging from the well-written script, the author researched his topic greatly before putting pen to paper on this frightening drama that has played itself out on news screens for several years. Blending fact with fiction with affirming transitions and sweeping descriptions, the author has convinced me that this story might have taken place.
Lenore
Surviving the Seaweed

I came back for a second look recalling the fury of the prologue. Of course the p is a teaser and it works wonderfully. It ensured I wld come back. Perhaps i am not in the right mood. This is how my return visit went. I was mildly taken with the notion of an insight into a gigantic city I know nothing about other than that it is gigantic. I am curious about US-Mexican relations and Mexico's drugs war. But I found myself reading but not taking the words in properly. When I came to 'encryption algorithm' I confess I was yawing and shipping water. The minuttia of the deal just did not grab me by the balls I fear. I understand that you can't keep the pace of the prologue up in Ch1 but I definitely drifted. I confess I am not a very good reader and I might actually be tired after a long day in London. But I seemed to find it easy to slide away with a vague sense of disappointment after the prologue. I stress it may be me. I have just checked your story length and realise that this is a long read and therefore not one to dip into for a three minute bite. My feeling is that reading properly, at least for me, is not best done online as I read differently online to how I read when I have the words in my hand. I have not given up however as the prologue still does have me by the balls. Perhaps I need to read in different circumstances.

Great pitch/prologue/dialogue...going back to read more.

Backed with pleasure.

U got me right from the prologue. This a book that should have bin reviewed long before now. I think we writers have alot to learn from this work.

Idris Lah
Gift of Life

Terrence, I read the prologue and you must excuse me that I don't read any further as this is too much for me to stomach. Please use some synonyms for 'goon' as I think you use it too often. But then again maybe that is a word that your readers like to find in every other sentence. I admire the fact that you start a book like this, many others on the site do it as well and apparently it is what the audience likes. Slow-starting background settings are hopelessly out of date. I've backed your book because I admire you for the writer you are. Hannah

You had me intrigued with the premise, and the narrative itself is tense, immediate, and strong. Backed.

Chapter 2 (technically)
This isn't my typical genre, but I really enjoyed the details put in that make this book distinguish itself from others. Your dialogue was realistic and you made everything accessible. I could feel the flavors of the two different cultures very well. Good job and best of luck!

Intense. The pace builds and builds and then a brief rest and again! Suspenseful writing. I read the first five chapters and can't wait to read more. Already I know this book deserves to be backed.

C.S.Poulsen
THE INSIDERS mg/ya

Gadzooks! I am glad I don't live in Dallas. And I can see why many Americans favour the ultimate penalty. The absurdity of such violence can only me motivated by an animalistic pleasure in inflicting it, as killing and raping and then making off with a TV is insane. 'Which one of these cribs yours?' Ach, the questioner deserves a very bad outcome to his life. Ach, I want to vent extreme vengence on the goons on account of their language alone. If this is how things are, then bring on the chair. And let us not be too hasty with the coup de grace current. Perhaps said goon deserves to suffer an hour or so on account of his diction alone. Your opening chapter touches every super conservative reactive nerve in my being, and I am a gentle Brit. Ach, the detail of the shooting and rape stuns me. No quarter to such evildoers. This is a stirring first chapter. The violence is ferral. And I am prepared to believe that that is how it is. The notion of wht woman trying to wet herself I can believe and I can believe it wld make no difference too. Indeed, the goons might even like it. Damn them. You have my attention, sir.

Hi Terence, Had a read. Fast paced/ strong stuff. Should go far. Good luck with it. Backed & shelved. Best Walt.

Fascinating, I was hooked by the pitch alone!!
Backed

Clare
A Policeman's Lot

A writer is better off paying money to an agent, or bribing an editor - it is who you know, not what you write. American literature has taken a nose dive in the last several decades. It is about commerce and finance. Editors and publishers, quietly and subjectively, seek authors who have a high profile, tons of public connections, and an ability to sale the dung from a horse. Why do you think Palin and Porn Star James are able to land book contracts? Wake up writers of America! It is not about talent or skill or craft. Editors do not care how well a writer can write; they do care, however, how well you can sell what you write. Facts of life. But such is capitalist greed.

Hi Terrence,
getting late and am tired but had aquick read of a few chapters. Unfortunatley I struggled to stay interested...perhap just not my style of writing. Action moves OK but I couldn't feel involved or that I was there.Will put on watchlist and think again later.
Cheers

maesecouogne

I read the first chapter, which I really like. It was fast-paced and busy, matching with the desperation and surprise of the sitiuation. Then I read the seconds chapter, which was good but not entirely for my audience, methinks, because I wasn't sure exactly what was happening. However, it seems to be well written, with a flowing narrative and an excellent opening so I've backed it anyway :)

Amy
x

Against the current trend - I quite like prologues. Yours is full of action and I guess foreshadows Derek as a 'victim'. I could suggest that you maintain the dramatic action without interrupting with the sort of background information you give in the second paragraph. It would maintain the pace. This is an impressive novel with an extraordinary concept. I have to say that the episodes I love are the graphic scenes in Mexico. I particularly like where Derek is followed by the two 'gays'. Remember your reader may have a short attention span regarding technical details but as one of these I didn't find they intruded too often. I am full of admiration for your work and it deserves its position in the charts. I am backing it with pleasure. best of luck. Marilyn

Terence, I loved Cross Talk. I don't know whether you'd find this a compliment but when I started reading it, I felt the excitement of reading any of Robert Ludlum's books. I know some artistes do not like to be compared even to such luminaries such as Ludlum, so I hope you forgive me. But in terms of writing (here I am not an expert - I just go with what I feel and experienced), your writing is detailed - just like Ludlum (my hero, btw), your words are not superfluous, not verbose - you have chosen the right words to describe the scene yet move the story onwards. These words are not only providing me a good, fluid read but are able to create moving images in my head - it is like watching my own private movie. Ok, this message is getting rather long - thank you Terence for placing Cross Talk here - when it gets published please send me a signed copy (hehehe, ok pushing my luck here!) All the best, Hanyxxx

I've read the prolouge and chapter one. The action packed prolouge teased me into reading on. The writing is masterfully crafted from what I've read so far. The characters and setting believeable and easy to like. Backed with pleasure. Well done.

Bob Jones

Terrance,

You write with the lightness of a butterfly and sting of a scorpion. The plot is fast moving, all helped along with active verbs, where nothing is allowed to stand still. Your knowledge in various areas, is evident - military, espionage, even anatomical. The Prologue is suitably shocking and brilliantly written to draw the reader in, just in case they missed your pitch. My only observation for possible correction, is that at times you seem to do the dialogue inbetween the prose. But your dialogue itself is very effective.

Well done. Backed with pleasure.

Best of luck,
Marilyn

I'm sorry that I've not backed this before. It's been on my W/L for some time and appears to have slipped the net. The writing takes hold of this story and leads the reader into an exciting and involved plot line. THe characters are easily identifyable and the dialogue works well. I wish you luck with this. Backed K.J Rabane - ACcording to Olwen

Terrence, I randomly grabbed chapter 11 to read. A good book should pull you in regardless of where you start. This one certainly does. The tension on the train is palpable. The story is faced paced and exciting.
Your story, while well written, does tend to get a little wordy. It is possible to tell a story well with less, think Hemmingway.
I did not stumble upon any grammer or punctuation errors that jarred me. The only one I did notice was "The train started to come to a stop". It is a little awkward.
Overall you have a good story. I wish you the best of luck with it!
Sincerely,
Sharon Van Orman

Hi Terrence,
I just finished your prologue and am going back to read more. For the sake of this sight, I am backing you now. Based on the writing i"ve already experienced, this is wonderful material. Backed by me and I look forward to seeing your book reach the top. If you want feedback on a particular chapter, please let me know as I fully intend to read every last word you have published here. Congratulations.
Sincerely, Heidi
An Unexpected Obsession

I got to your story a bit sooner than expected. I read the preface and the following two chapters. The preface was fantastic, had me all the way. I like action and this hit the spot. The second chapter was slower, but still good, with an excellent description of Mexico City. The third chapter also had suspence with the two gay guys wanting to cut Derek. Poor guy seems to be a magnet for trouble.

Only had one nitpick. In the preface: "Noooo..." she cried, as she wept. Suggestion: "Nooo..." She wept. or "Noooo..." she cried. But not both.

An enjoyable read. Backed. All the best, Marita.

Establishing place, particularly in a land foreign to the main character (and presumably the author as well) is critical. Knowledge displayed of Mexico City comes across as quite believable, though I am no expert. As does depiction of the business dealings and the hand politics play in such trade.

Jedah Mayberry
-Slow Train Comin'

PLenty of action from the get go and a great read! Obviously, with your current rank, many others feel the same way. I'm so glad I found it. Thanks and good luck.

Lenore
Surviving the Seaweed

Quite the Prologue

It is not too often you read a book and have the start literally take you aback

A brutally real and very well written

Good luck with your rise up the ladder

Matt

Terrance, you have some excellent writing skills. I looked at your book from your message to me, and I got hooked. This is a book that is in my genre, and I will enjoy reading it. I have read enough to know that this is going to be a hot thriller. BACKED with pleasure.

John Green
The Dakota Principle

Chapter 1 review

This is a really dramatic start to the story and I couldn't see any gramatical errors.
I am somewhat concerned that Andrea doesn't say or do much in this chapter - If Derek is aware of the fate of the guys on the news than Andrea would also know she is due to get raped and would be hysterical throughout this scene, yet there is little mention of this - I expected a lot more noise from her.
However the story appears to be about Derek - as they both live through ch1 I am intrigued to want to go further - so onwards to ch 2
Brian Ritchie

Fantastic! In the prologue we encounter a terrible incident which - unfortunately - could happen to any of us; this makes it something we can relate to. Then in the first chapter we are suddenly confronted with the world of espionage, a universe away. What is the connection? We must read on to find out. Is this the result of the brutal attack in the prologue? We must read onto find out if that is what caused a change in the main character? Is that how we would change after such an experience? We must read on . . . .

Backed. But now I want to read on . . .

Michael Clifford


Sometime in Andalusia

The beginning is amazing, and you can really begin to tell that a destructive plot will unfold. I could imagine it as an adult action movie ;)

The sentences are perfectly structured to tell the story smoothly and has a sense of pace which keeps the reading moving forward, hopefully you get to the editors desk!

-Chantelle.
GarnetCore