Book Jacket

 

rank 2828
word count 69758
date submitted 19.02.2010
date updated 19.02.2010
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Comedy, E...
classification: adult
complete

Pilots

Chris McCullough Young

Enter a world of sex, time travel and Subbuteo(tm) finger. John thought he knew what life was all about - until he died.

 

John liked his safe life. He had a safe Job working for local government. He lived with his mum. He played five-a-side football on Fridays with his mates and, if he was feeling a little frivolous, he'd go out for a few beers with them afterwards. Enter Jen. She introduces John to the most exhilarating, passionate and anatomically fascinating one-night-stand of his life. And so much more. When John discovers he has a terminal illness he finally develops the courage to truly live. But is it all too late? Well, yes, of course it is, that was a rhetorical question. When John finally dies, that's when his life becomes really complicated. A few comments from folk who have read Pilots: "Ha-ha, funny, funny, funny - this had me in bits" "...this was hilarious, witty, incredibly personal and brilliant..." "If it was possible to read your piece through hands over the eyes I would. You capture that comedy of embarrassment so well."

 
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tags

adult, science fiction

on 9 watchlists

54 comments

 

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Swamp81 wrote 928 days ago

you had me at "subbuteo" - well done

Eunice Attwood wrote 1278 days ago

This is fantastic. Having read your messages, there is nothing more I can say. I tend to agree with all the positive remarks you already have. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

CarolinaAl wrote 1331 days ago

This is a winner. Laugh out loud hilarious. A quirky science fiction comedy with colorful, complex characters. Wonderful imagery. Sparkling dialogue. Brilliant writing. A pleasure to read. Backed.

Lynne Ellison wrote 1346 days ago

original piece of speculative fiction

Lynne ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

klouholmes wrote 1347 days ago

Hi Chris, Frank and well-rendered. The conversation with Jen is amusing. Shelved – Katherine

homewriter wrote 1352 days ago

As with Mr drachat bolow , I loved your pitch, too. And Ch.1: what a great piece of frustrated eroticism! Tremendous writing and a great story developing! Backed - Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid P.S. For another piece of anatomic writing, you might like to look at the second part of ch.4 of my book where the MC is given a love lesson by a highly experienced, voloptuous retired lady of pleasure!

drachat wrote 1356 days ago

Hi Chris,

I loved your pitch, but loved your first chapter even more; brilliant! I laughed my way through Ch 4. Well, Chapter 4 not so much. I wish I had time to read it all. "Great Ikea in the sky" referring to the oak tree in John's apartment great!

Since when do Brits not complain? I have a friend from Southampton, and she complains, haha. It's very easy to read, very short paragraphs, even sentences; I like that.

Great job and happily backed
Denise

Would you mind having a peek at "Road to Redemption: From Cop's Daughter to Convicted Felon?"

SammySutton wrote 1373 days ago

Funny!
John and Jen, Like the narrative good writing.
You certainly capture the concept in an unusual somewhat delightful way!
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

Jim Kelly wrote 1379 days ago

page 1 - is that really 'uncompromising situation' or should it be 'compromising situation' ?

Andrew Burans wrote 1412 days ago

The inter - play between John and Jen is well done and I do like your use of the first person narrative. Your use of short paragraphs keeps the pace of your story flowing nicely making it a fun read. Backed.

Andrew Burans:
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning
P.S. I didn't see Square Pegs on your profile page?

eloraine wrote 1412 days ago

Imaginative and well written, funny, different and great. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Owen Quinn wrote 1415 days ago

Interseting pitch with a good cover. John is a well crafted character with a real empathy with the reader. Who wouldn't react like this in his situation. The comedy was unexpecterd but you have to find the comedy in tragedy or you will fall apart. Wonderful.

A Knight wrote 1438 days ago

Funny, gritty and real. It's not often that sci-fi can be funny, but I was laughing from the start. John is so incredibly human, and that;s fantastic, helping the reader to relate with ever increasing enthusiasm to his incredible situation.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Burgio wrote 1461 days ago

This is a funny story. A little raw for some, I'm sure, but I was in a mood for this so enjoyed it. John is a good character; he's likable and sympathetic because he's so inept. Makes him the kind of character you want to follow to see if being dead could be better than this. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

lynn clayton wrote 1489 days ago

Normally I would say sci-fi and comedy are mutually exclusive. But I hadn't come across this, had I? That bumbling John is hysterical. You've got something outstanding here, Chris. backed. Lynn

lionel25 wrote 1492 days ago

Chris, your first chapter flows smoothly. Good true-to-life dialogue.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Barry Wenlock wrote 1494 days ago

Hi Chris -- this is first opening where I've visualised myself in the position of the MC and started to drool, and laugh, of course. A very funny read and your crude MC is so full of self-rebuke and low-esteem that he is instantly likable.
I thought you could omit the second 'so to speak' as the cat scratching its worms was a literal description of its actions.
I could hide nothing from my penis --- brilliant.
Things not to discuss with your friends -- cracked me up
Police would arrive within the hour -- why so long?

Just a few thoughts. Backed with tears, Barry
(Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

Becca wrote 1499 days ago

I read the first two scenes here. The Mc's voice shines through great here. It does need an edit to tighten things up and improve flow, but that aside, I enjoyed reading John's fumbling approach to sex and dating. Tighten this up and I think it would be perfect for it's target audience. I'll put this on my watch list and shelve it on my next shelf rotation.
xBeccaX
The First Phoenix

Francis Albert McGrath wrote 1502 days ago

BRILLIANT. If I were an agent I would be requesting the full MS. Consider posting your synopsis on the site also.
Frank

Euphemus wrote 1502 days ago

Hi, Obviously an adult erotic book but told with humour. Your hero is a real bonehead but it works.
David (Flawless Murder) Thanks for the backing.

Mike Lynch wrote 1503 days ago

Ah Chris,

Well done. Truly well done.

Very funny opening (no pun intended)

“So to speak” used twice in one para. Detracted from the comic effect of the first time it was used.

“If I’d been a potholer, I’d have been delighted.” Brilliant.

“Sugar?” “Yes Honey?” – Why is it, that even after years of using that line, I still find it funny. Jen is a grumpy bitch.

Rimming with Rimmel. They should put that on adverts.

I cringed at the whisky condom bit.

This is a very funny book and one that i would certainly buy if i read the opening in Waterstones. In fact, based on what i've read, i'm goign to come back and read Square Pegs.

Backed.

Mike
(Calloway Blood)

jfredlee wrote 1506 days ago

Chris -

I thoroughly enjoyed reading PILOTS - sort of a love story as told by Kurt Vonnegut, then edited by Tom Robbins.

I'm backing it.

And best of luck here.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

jfredlee wrote 1506 days ago

Chris -

I thoroughly enjoyed reading PILOTS - sort of a love story as told by Kurt Vonnegut, then edited by Tom Robbins.

I'm backing it.

And best of luck here.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

Tawn Anderson wrote 1507 days ago

Well...it certainly gets off to a bang... and just keeps going! Fast pace, tight dialogue, will appeal to a lot of readers. I'm not much a critiquer, but I found this a fun, easy read that I would probably pick up off a shelf and stand in the middle aisle reading and reading. Great job!

Tawn Anderson (Providence)

missyfleming_22 wrote 1508 days ago

Oh god, this was hilarious! What an awesome book, you have done a great job here!

Missy

Stanny wrote 1508 days ago

Funny, filthy and fecking worth backing! Not much to add to be honest, he comments below say it all; I've read quite a few comedy efforts on here and this is one of the few that doesn't feel like it's trying too hard.

Kudos to you sir

Stanny (the Bibble)

John Booth wrote 1508 days ago

Made me laugh - shelved

J1000 wrote 1509 days ago

Fantastic story, just read the whole thing in one go! Hilarious, moving, great dialogue - kept me guessing where it was going all the way. Make a good film too.

Good luck with it, backed.

J

MysticalMaria wrote 1509 days ago

Erotically impaling and a delightfully lascivious read!

Backed and forwarded to friends...

Soap wrote 1509 days ago

This is great stuff. I love your MC; he's pathetic and wonderful and funny.

Backed!

Soap
(Bait)

felicity potbottle wrote 1510 days ago

Funny and rude! Yay. I am always happy when True Blood comes on tv and they tell you it contains sex and violence. You should put a warning on your book 'Contains Sex and Hilarity' so you will attract the right kind of reader. I'd buy it.

lizjrnm wrote 1510 days ago

This is f------ hilarious and it should have been picked up already for publication - your dialogue is not only funny but intelligent and polished! I can't wait to read more! What a romp = I don't even care if there is a plot - I think I am in love with your MC! BACKED!

Check out The Cheech Room - it starts out serious but is dark and humerous as you go - I think you will like it!

Sandie Newman wrote 1511 days ago

OMG this soooo funny, I was laughing all the way through chapter 1, it is very interesting to know what goes on inside a guys head and their inability to find things, what completely different species men and women are, I think Jen should be introduced to a guy I was involved with a year ago, total sexual freak who as into anything! This is some brilliant writing with an excellent pace. Backed immediately.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

Cyndi Tefft wrote 1511 days ago

Chris,

I read through Chapter 9. I have to say that your first chapter was fall over hilarious. Your comedic delivery was spot on and I laughed and laughed. Great stuff. This is something of a whiplash book, though. It starts out riotous and erotic then swings wildly to the sickness and depression, taking me on a rollercoaster of emotions. Then after the death, it's confusion and chaos, a new world, fantasy... All good, and the voice of John is consistent throughout. Still, because it was such a rollercoaster, I think it would be hard to say, "this book is about..." and sum it up. That's not bad (different is good), just a little exhausting.

I love the way you write and was impressed that you could do the comedic erotica (you don't see that every day!) as well as the touching scenes of his illness. Keep writing, my friend!

Backed--

Cyndi
Between

Anthony Lund wrote 1512 days ago

Funny, straight for the jugular and unconditionally brilliant. I think that from the first line the tone is well and truly set and continues at pace.

Backed, and if you have a chance to look at one of mine then it would be appreciated. Thanks

Anthony

soutexmex wrote 1514 days ago

BACKING you. I can use your comments on my book if you can spare the time. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

bonalibro wrote 1514 days ago

I tried your other book and had trouble relating to it but this one I definitely can relate to. I do believe I have had sex with women whose names I could not remember. My memory for names is terrible.

Great fun. John Hamler does some wonderful writing about sex too, full of digressions, and very funny.

I also have a pretty funny sex scene in mine around Chapter ten or eleven.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes.

Sutekh wrote 1515 days ago

"What the fuck are you doing?"

A strong start.

Superb book, in the perfect world it would find a publisher right now. Have you read any Christopher Brockmyre? Cause it reminded me a lot of his work.

Backed!


Darren Floyd
Match Day

JupiterGirl wrote 1516 days ago

Chris, Wonderfully like nothing I've read on here! Smashing good cover. Shelved. I'm looking forward to delving into your other work ;0) JupiterGirl (Twins of the Astral Plane)

gillyflower wrote 1516 days ago

This is a brilliantly funny book, and so much more. John is a really likable guy, someone we love straightaway and want to spend time with, Your first chapter, telling us about John the social creature, works really well, letting us get to know him in considerable depth while keeping us laughing non-stop. Then in Chapter Two you show us John the social worker. Again, side-splittingly funny, but also, in John's successful effort to make his world overlap with Mr Stuart's, serious and important. Your show us, without over empathising, that Mr Stuart knows he can't live on his own, in spite of the Care in the Community Act, and is desperate to prove it and get some response. I'm really looking forward to the rest of this great book. (By the way, I can readily believe John got 100% in his biology exam, he seems to know all the words!) Brilliant. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

mikegilli wrote 1516 days ago

Terrific start.... then it gets better.
Mix of real characters and a great sense of humour.
I saw just one typo but lost it...'it' instead of 'bit'...somewhere in Ch 1.
Sexually educational...if you can stop laughing.
Then we're led to a flawed immortality with a final twist that.... WOW
Congratulations... Shelved and all the best...................mikegilli The Free

DKTD1 wrote 1516 days ago

Hysterical and deliciously nasty.

Shelved.
Dan
Eunice and Ethan.

MarkRTrost wrote 1517 days ago

Cobbler?

Brilliant. You've moved into my top 5 on site.

I loved this. It's so goddamned true.

Brilliant. This is the first time I can type this words and have it be literally true: this is so f*cking true.

Mark R. Trost
"Post Marked."

P Knowles wrote 1517 days ago

Anything that makes me smile gets my vote....Good Luck with this.....Backed

Michael Croucher wrote 1517 days ago

Chris, you have the amazing ability to make people laugh until it hurts. I'm so glad I read this, I was chuckling at the get go and then howling. Your book is a great change of pace, thoroughly enjoyable. Shelved.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

Gabriel Green wrote 1517 days ago

Hilarious. I'm still laughing. Even my wife laughed when she read the first two chapters and she doesn't usually get comedy. Superb and backed.
No obligation (honest!!) but if you get a couple of minutes to look at "A Patch of Dappled Sun" I would be grateful. Alhtough, having said that, "In Sight of the Line" may be more up your street.

Fromante wrote 1517 days ago

Not much I can say about Pilots, Chris? Funny, hilarious, bafflingly laughable. Not my sort of genre as a rule, but glad I took a look. I wish you good luck.
Norman. The Witch of Hambone Bk.3. And Muddledydo.

Barbara Silkstone wrote 1517 days ago

Having spent 6 years hanging out in the male-mind to write my nonfiction book.... 527 Naked Men & One Woman, The Adventures of a Love Investigator I can say without reservation: this book was definitely written by a man. A funny man. Backed with laughter. Barbara Silkstone The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters.

Marko wrote 1518 days ago

Hilarious first chapter, Chris.

Backed

Marko

Jared wrote 1518 days ago

I love that cover and the opening chapter is a riot. Two very different sexual experiences, back to back so to speak, very well written (I wanted to add 'and researched' but didn't want to sound intrusive!), and there's a real story unfolding here. Your excellent pitches set out a fascinating premise with a strong SF content and I'm so pleased that you start off with a good dose of reality, a recognisable world rather that a space station orbiting some distant star!
This is a riotously funny book - I howled with laughter at the car bumper sticker scheme John comes up with in chapter five - and there are so many examples of humour that goes way beyond the norm. I'd buy this book.
Backed with great pleasure.
Jared (Mummy's Boy).

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