Blood & Tears Tattoos

Sorry have I have been unable to login for about 4 months. Hopefully the prolem is solved and I'll be able to get on here to edit and comment. Thanks to all who have taken the time to read a few chapters. Hope you enjoyed the pirate speak and the skinny dipping scene. =)

Rochelle Bradley
The Chronicles of Eventide: I Am Mai
Blood & Tears Tattoos

The work is written in a very professional manner and interesting to read with only one suggestion to offer. The locale is unspecified except for the "corner store." Backed on my bookshelf. Chuck

Stunning read. commented on this before but seems it was eaten.

great well written fiction.

Rochelle,
Blood and Tears Tattoos has a compelling protagonist and plot. Your descriptions are intricate and clear. A great combination of romance and suspense. Backed with pleasure.

Hi Rochelle, I loved your relaxed engaging style. The pace is just right and the characters individual. I'd like to read more but I'm catching up on returns. Good luck with this excellent story

HI Rochelle
Loved your pitch and began to read chapter one and you capture the reader instantly. I will continue to read and comment on your book, later today. Would you please look at "The Sun and The Saber" and return the favor.
Thank you.
Craig Ellis

Dear Rochelle,
I started to read this some time ago. Not my genre and I found it kept me on the edge of my seat. I am glad that I crossed over to find talent, you are talent for sure. I would have backed this alone on the skill and craft you have applied but I have to now back this on the content the original storyline that you have made pictures in my head with.. CONGRATS.
BACKED for sure by me
I do hope you can cross over to my genre and review my book, please comment ( this assists me in honing my skill) and if you feel, back it.
Thanks and BEST OF LUCK WITH YOUR BOOK
Denise
The Letter

Dear Rochelle, I love your idea of going 6 years into the future & tried to picture myself doing this - what a concept - I love it - would I change anything I'm doing now? I don't think so, but it sure is something to think about. :) I love your intriguing story. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

I love the cover, very intriguing. The pitch for this is excellent, talking about time and the future and I like that you talk about that almost immediately. You set the scene very well and I especially liked the part where she liked caring for pets with legs, very clever. This is backed with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

Hi Rochelle, Good setting with the history, caves, and the tourist interest. Natalie’s natural involvement, via the forgotten phone, increased my interest along with the strong pace of the story. She’s a person who responds to other people and despite the hints about the past, opens the tourist characters into the milieu. The beginning involves so I would assume that when her confrontation begins, the story interest would continue to heighten. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Good atmosphere from the start. The imagey is strong letting you see the world you are creating. The narrative flows well making this a good read. The characters shine again helped by the strong writing. well done.

Good atmosphere from the start. The imagey is strong letting you see the world you are creating. The narrative flows well making this a good read. The characters shine again helped by the strong writing. well done.

Good atmosphere from the start. The imagey is strong letting you see the world you are creating. The narrative flows well making this a good read. The characters shine again helped by the strong writing. well done.

Good atmosphere from the start. The imagey is strong letting you see the world you are creating. The narrative flows well making this a good read. The characters shine again helped by the strong writing. well done.

The pitch is one we can all relate to. The scenes are drawn beautifully, the relationships are thoughful and believable and there's a touch of menace to keep us reading. Chick lit of a different kind. Backed. Lynn

Well written but meandered a bit, taking the scenic route before getting to the point, is how I would describe it. The stuff with dogs and why she was housesitting felt a bit drawn out (although I guess it may play a part later in the story). I think the relationship between Nat and Brooke was well conveyed.

Were the two boys in the shop meant to be foreign? Their speech seemed a bit odd that way, might just be me though.

Engaging although i found the pace a bit on the slow side. A matter of taste though. Happy to back.
regards
mood

Blood & Tears Tattoos is an absolutely intriguing premise... I felt compelled to read more to find out Natalie copes with the dilemma she faces - to accept her future or to change it.. how many people would like that option!.. this is worthy of a spot on the Editor's desk.. Backed with pleasure

This is a good story: what would a person do if they could know the future? You have a likable and sympathetic character in Natalie, the kind of character that makes a reader want to continue reading to see how all of this plays out. Your writing style is good for this type of book; crisp and clear and moving things forward. Makes this a good read. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

An interesting premise. It seemed to have much more depth and thought that I would expect from a book listed as Chick-Lit. It wasn't full of the fluff and neurosis that I would expect. I have just seen that you tweaked it, so you obviously did a nice job with that. I think you have an easy style to read. Their isn't (from what i have read so far) any of that trying to hard to impress with works which I have witnessed from other first time writers. You characterisation skills are strong and was more than happy to back you.
David
Bailey of the Saints

Blood & Tear Tattoos

You have a balanced narrative and dialogue. The dialogue is very crisp and fleshes out your characters brilliantly. This has a certain something that puts it a step up from others in this genre, very, very good – Good luck

Thanks everyone for the comments and insight. I recently uploaded a 'tweaked' version of the book. I tried to make the bad guy...well, badder. I took out some 'fluff' and tightened up the dialog a bit. I hope it reads better. I appreciate the encouragement as well as the constructive criticism.

I have become addicted to this site and spend more time reading than wirting. =)
Rochelle

Rochelle, your first chapter is a smooth read. Good mix of narrative and dialogue. I can't nitpick anything there.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

BLOOD AND TEARS TATTOOS:

Rochelle,

The pitch tells us that each way Natalie turns it seems she draws the short straw. She has choices to make that are almost impossible to contemplate. This is the stuff of good literature.

There's a slight overuse of characters' names, especially at the beginning of paragraphs. Pronouns could in many cases be used, when it's obvious who they are.

A terrific sense of place with vivid descriptions, giving us an almost cinematic bird's eye view of the settings.

A most entertaining read.

Backed.
Sheila (Pinpoint)

Backed with pleasure! Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of my work) for a further read and possible backing of your book.

I like this. The characterization, the voice, the pace.

You have a teensy touch of Paige-itis. Easily correctable - kind of a fun edit when you get into it. There are some extra words here and there you could cut..it would tighten this up in a few spots.....the 'that's", "around's" , "very's", and "just's". You will like the result - it will highlight the punch you've put in some of these sentences. But backed, this will be a positive addition to the genre, and your target audience will enjoy it.

Dear Rochelle Bradley,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. You begin with the pleasure of taking care of two bundles of doggie energy. I like the phrasing in “She’d never had pets with feet before” as well as the description of the man who “looked like he’d lost a lot of weight and now his clothes no longer fit him.” You build sympathy with the scar and the fact she lives out of her car. Two men flirt with Natalie and Brooke at the convenience store. You give Brooke a fascinating and believable personality. Her ambivalence toward Natalie deepens her character. This chapter creates uneasiness and foreboding in the reader, as I’m concerned that either the lean man and his friend may cause trouble, or that Brit will, using his cell phone to lure Natalie into the park. You create an effective hook at the end of the chapter.

In my fallible opinion, you’d be best served by never making your protagonist happy, ever. This sounds cruel, but it's the best thing for her as a character. Starting her out with the dogs and living in her boss’ house and giving her the least bit of joy makes her less sympathetic and decreases my drive to continue reading. Replacing these positives with negatives would lock the reader in more firmly to your story. Let us know the stakes if she doesn’t make ends meet, for one. Imply all her problems asap.

I can tell you enjoy writing, and I urge you to continue. Backed, and best wishes.

There are times when one must support things on merit that one doesn't actually enjoy, because it serves its own audience well. For me this is one of those times.

Would be happy to give this my backing if you'll have a look at mine.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes

Nice read for your target market. I wonder if you might get more readers if the font was bigger, perhaps try 12pt.


Terrific premise that promises much.

Good luck with it.

Melxx

pretty good for a chick lit lol :)))

This is definitely a unique spin on a romantic thriller... What person hasn't at one point in their life or another, wished they could go back and rethink (or even undo) something from their past? This is going to capture the attention of the chick lit readers for sure.

Your pitch is good - does a great job of introducing the main character (Natalie) and her time travel and glimpse into her life six years in the future, and how that will consequently affect her decision-making regarding her future. Your writing style is easy to read through, effortless to jump right into Natalie's head and sympathize with her.

There's a spacing in paragraph eight - may be just an upload thing. If so, disregard this note. The other thing that made me pause was in the early part, when you distiguish between the three men that came into the convenience store - there's an awful lot of repetition of "skinny guy" / "blonde guy" / "tall guy" ... Might be nice to give Brit and his mate names earlier in the bit to avoid some of the "guy" repeats. Other than that, this is a great start to a romantic novel. The female audience is sure to enjoy this. Backed with pleasure.

Jared
Mummy's Boy

Your pitch outlines a fascinating idea, and made me want to find out more. Natalie is a interesting central character, easy to relate to. You start your story off well with the arrival of Brit and his friend, and the loss of the phone which ensures that Natalie will meet up with them again. You write smoothly, and set your scenes with sufficient detail to bring them to life. Your characters are vivid and individual. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Your pitch is superb! Sucked me right in - and your writing is WOW - polished and edgy. I am impressed. BACKED! Check out The Cheech Room, I think it is right up your alley! Great job and good luck although I think you have a great peice of work here, with or without luck.

Throw both pitches into the forums and have people help you out with it. I am SHELVING in advance. I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

We like Natalie from the start because she likes everything so much - I think you've discovered the way to make a character endearing which I must remember. Your style is straightforward, warm, detailed and perfect for the genre. backed. lynn

Okay Rochelle,

Point blank, the writing could be retooled a bit. Your story holds up but some of the language is awkward. For one, you fall into the "had" trap in several places....that is simply using the word "had" when it's not necessary. Go back a read a bit and see if you think you really need them all.

Also, telling us who said something, before they say it doesn't often work. That doesn't mean never, but dialouge tends to flow beter when we keep it at the end of the quote. Clearly you use both ways, I just thought there were a few too many where it was placed at the start of the dialouge.

You have a good story....I just think a bit of polish could make it shine.

Lockjaw

Fantastic premise, very well-written. You draw the reader in from the start and certainly compelled me to read on!

Backed with pleasure - and I look forward to reading more soon!

Ibby (Near Miss)

Rochelle,

Blood, Tears Tatooos - the premise attracts and I warmed to the writing. I wrote a longish comment yesterday which has not registered, but my backing should have appeared in your newsfeed. Your book has been on my shelf overnight up to now. Best success.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

You have a good writing style. The story gets more interesting the farther on I read. What might help it is some foreshadowing of events to come. You could have the narrator allude to the troubling events to come earlier in the book so the reader anticipates something dramatic. Stephen King uses this technique very effectively.

This is well done, so I will back it.

Brian

This is strong, accurate writing--the kind an old English professor like me appreciates! Shelved with pleasure.

Bill (Faust's Butterfly)

This is a very interesting piece of writing. There is an excellent pitch and your first few chapters make for very compelling reading. You have a lovely, fluid writing style and Natalie's dialogue (in particular) is very sharp and perfectly reflects her character. Great story here and I wish you all the best with it. Carl. The Time Hunters

I backed this...I found it entertaining and smooth to read. The pitch was what drew me into the book in the first place. Your character development is good as is the dialogue. Alround good story.

George Fripley
(Wurzel of Clutton)

This is an interesting premise for a story and your writing is clean and readable. There is another story on here that I recently read about tatoos and drawing people's future. You shoud see if you can find it.
Barbara
The Sea Pillow

Rochelle, this is good stuff. I love the opening, where you talk about the scar under Natalie's hair. Well done and watchlisted to be moved to my shelf...all best, Cynthia Drew, Tabernacle

I like the dialogue. Interested to see what happens to Natalie (and her scar)...

Backed.

Dan-
Eunice Stubbins, among others.

an enjoyable read, backed

alison

You have a lovely turn of phrase, almost poetic in its intensity - and I don't say that often. A book to savour on a hot summer's day. Jim D Serpent's Blood

Well written- love your pitch!
Backed:)

I wish you all the very best with your book.
Manolya- Love in No-man's Land

Backed

shah

Have enjoyed what I have read...backed with pleasure.

george Fripley
(Wurzel of Clutton)

Very believable characters, delightful story. Backed.

BD Nelson
Abigail's Cries
The Autobiography
Scorned