The Devil's Fairytale

The Devils Fairytale

Everything about this screams quality. You have great command of sensory predicates; you have created characters with distinctive voices and weaver them into very imaginative storyline
I think you brilliant characterisation really takes this to a different level –This is very good. – Good luck.

--king genius, Greg! First time I've used any of those three words... this sort of hard-edged, cross-over fantasy is my manna. Humorous, exceedingly dark, bitter-cocoa darkness, lovely, lovely stuff! This is PERFECT!!! Wow, I must read on! That final paragraph in chapter 2; Mansor' eyes! TAAAALENTED GREG. I am wonderfully, intoxicatingly jealous. If there is any justice ITW, this will be published. Luke.

THE DEVIL'S FAIRYTALE:

Greg Stewart,

Brilliant. Unique. Original. Highly imaginative. Beautifully written. And . . . strangely believable.

The characters are well drawn. The dialect is crisp and realistic. You have a very readable blend of action, dialogue and exposition, and your syntax is impeccable.

An absolutely riveting story.

Backed, with admiration.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

like your imagery

enjoyed reading and added to my watchlist to read at a later date. wondered if you would peek at my book and give me some feedback r/t us being in similiar genres. thanks.
kendra ziems/autumn lullaby

This strange but in a good way. YOu never really know what is going on fully and have to build up the picture a little at a time to work out where your going. It also keeps you wanting to read on because of this. Backed.

A fascinating premise for a story, and very well written too - I just want to keep on reading. If it was published, no doubt it would be on one of my real bookshelves rather than a digital one. Backed.

Your work is well written and your use of short paragraphs keeps the flow going nicely. Your use of imagery is excellent and the charactere development of Cassie is well done. Your message definitely comes across. Your descriptive writing style makes your finely crafted novel a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

This is a very unique fantasy tale which is well written and well paced. Your excellent use of imagery coupled with your descriptive writing style makes your finely crafted story a most pleasureable read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Greg, seems to be problems with authonomy, backed John Warren Lasting Images.

greg, John Warren Lasting Images, backed.

greg, John Warren Lasting Images, backed.

What an excellent novel you have written Greg. I was captivated from the very start and you continued that feeling throughout the novel. Your characters are believable, your descriptions vivid but not overdone and your plot very strong. I have enjoyed reading this and happily back this book.
Joyanna
The Prince and The Sorcerer

Greg,

I just started reading. I will finish over the weekend, but your story telling is pristine! When I finish, I'll comment again.
Backed.

Gregory James

Brilliant. A modern day John Bunyon. This tale is intrecately interwoven with intrigue, compassion, and a strong appeal sacrificial giving.

tyler

Imaginative, truely different and great. Backed with pleasure. R.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Chapter 1:
Ah, this was always one of the more memorable fables. Let’s see if you surprise me by changing the ending.

Chapter 2:
Okay, kid runs away to find his father, OPC# 5 if I remember correctly.

Chapter 3:
Not familiar with this one, or maybe I just don’t recognize it yet. Can’t get the image of the three trolls from ‘The Hobbit’ out of my head.

Chapter 4: Interesting; a kind of man-made wonderland.

Chapter 5: Ah, another familiar fairytale.

Chapter 6 & 7: I can’t say I care for the bobbing in and out of fantasy, though I understand it’s necessary for this story.

Chapter 11: Gaaaaah! Where did the fantasy go?

Chapter 16: So much for the Billy Goats Gruff.

I’m going to stop my usual commentating, as I’m finding it hard to not get immersed in the story.

I definitely like the mixing of fairy-tales, as well as the references to the lesser known stories.

Phhb. Crayburg can suck it … unless he wants the Elsewhere to go public with how much pink frosting he commissioned from the Kitchen last year.

I’ve always been more supportive of people relying in themselves than trusting in a deity (any deity), but it does fit with this story.

Oddly enough, the giant owl brings to mind images of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Maybe I’m just thinking about the 1980 version.

I have to say, I love the imagery of Sam arguing with Hans … or Henry, I suppose.

Ugh. I’m really beginning to develop a hatred of cliffhangers.

MY FINAL OPINION:
An excellent story with an excellent premise. I love the way the fairy tales interact with each other. This is the kind of story I wanted from the movie ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ (which ended up being more of a war movie than a fantasy). What’s more, it has potential as a series … at least in my eyes. Proofreading seems solid, with a few small exceptions. I enjoyed this, and am curious to see how the story continues. Great job, friend! The Elsewhere approves!

Unique, exciting and captivating.

Greg is a great story teller.

100% backed.

Wendy

Original story, clever names, memorable characters; I like it so far and I appreciate your synopsis
I wonder if the dialogue needs polishing, particularly with the contractions; example "It's okay Sam...Do not let the price be for nothing" [Don't let the price be for nothing]

I hope to get through the book and offer you some solid suggestions and encouragment,

keep on

I love the title, but you have much more here. "Wolves - here in England?" "Perhaps this is the sort of thing that drugs make you imagine?" What a clever tale. "Could hunger and thirst affect your memory this way?" I don't know, but I want to come back and see where you go with this. Shelved for now.

Comment deleted: Potential readers, your best bet may be to have them read for you first. They will no back books, no matter how well written, that go against their own prejudiced beliefs against others.

You're descriptive prose is novel and inventive, I've never heard a bulldog used as a measurement before, nor hear metal being described and tearing and yet it all works. This is really the only type of fantasy that I enjoy, when you start with reality and twist it. I think you've an excellent story starting up here and I was keen to show my support by putting you on my shelf the other day. Hope you'll spare the time to take a look at my own novel. Backed and best wishes.
David
Bailey of the Saints

The Devil's Fairytale
Greg Stewart

Greg,
This seems like a unique plot. The idea of a "Devil’s Fairytale" is such a creative one. This is well written with some amazing, fantastic characters. I was gripped and happily and terrifyingly transported totally into this highly imaginative world of yours. No problem backing this and all the best in finding a publisher.
Zan

A wonderfully dark fairy tale, just as they should be.

It is always an unexpected delight when I stumble upon a uniquely different premise, told with a refreshing style. This story is a captivating, unusual read and pretty much a stand alone book. I could easily see this on a top seller's list. I like the tension Sam's experience causes, the driving need to know about how her misery might resolve.
Very good work.
Dawn De Remer (Golden Moon)

This is an intersting and well crafted story. But I think you have a problem with the start, it didn't really pull me in. Have you considered starting the story at the point she meets Mansor and Karl? From that point on you've got the reader.
Deserves backing

This is a well-written, riveting, modern fairytale with a marvelous pace. You are a gifted storyteller with the imagination and creative skills to bring your characters to life. Very well done!

Amazed that this has not drawn interest from a publisher already. Clever, insightful and eventful. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Hi Greg, real horror, very well-written, backed with a trembling hand, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

Greg:

So far I've only read one chapter, but this is incredibly well done. The language is excellent, and the story is riveting. As I was enmeshed in the reality of a blind 13-year-old girl, I couldn't help but admire the sensory world you have created devoid of the sense of sight; and as a writer, I marvelled at your ability to do just that. I will read on. In the meantime, I back this with pleasure.

Rob

This has an excellent title, very clever, people don't normally put the devil and fairytales together so it's the perfect blend of bad and good. The pitch is excellent and makes you want to read on and the opening is excepitonal. Incredible tension from the very first line! It is brilliant and I also found it kind of creepy, all that talk of the hand. Very very well written with brilliant descriptions. Backed with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

Hi Greg. I’ve read through the first chapter of your manuscript, and you do a great job of dropping the reader into a world gone horribly wrong. The closing of the chapter only increases the tension. My only criticism is to watch the number of sentences you begin with a pronoun; that leads to a lot of sameness. The storytelling is great, though, really compelling. I've got your back.
Please consider looking at my manuscript, “The Job: Based on a True Story (I mean, this is bound to have happened somewhere)” – I hope you’ll find it something fresh and different in the Christian genre. I’d certainly appreciate your support, but only if you think it has merit.
Thanks,
Craig Davis
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=19440

Good pitch. Length and word choice are definately directed towards a slightly older audience. (Not a little kid's fantasy story.) I liked the beginning where the girl could do nothing, so she bleated. You did a good job of making the gate world seem surreal and mixed-up.

Hi Greg,
Chapter one is quite scary - very well written but does tend to make me feel afraid! I will buck up the courage to read further & comment further.
Green Dragon (age 47½)

The Devil's Fairytale:

Greg,

From the beginning you quickly establish the fantasy element as Cassie, secreted away in her little space is suddenly seized by an enormous outstretched hand and, yet more surprisingly, she lets out a bleating.
I was hooked at this point and, though we have hints from your synopsis, the mystery is still not fully resolved and I wanted to read on.
The mystery intensifies as we find Sam in the glass conservatory and still solitary in the forest and we wonder why he is not with others.
Mansor's bargain with Karl to obtain something to eat for Sam - once we realise its enormity - certainly has all the hallmarks of effective horror, and yet we can see the powerful underlying moral of sacrifice and struggle between good and evil.
You achieve these effects with crystal clear prose which has a comfortable rhythm that makes it easily readable and yet deceptively skilful in evoking mood and a creeping menace.

Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Greg - you have something extremely readable here. With your opening you have me intrigued. Ok, at first I was thinking 'King Kong' with the big hand, but then Cassie 'bleated'? And that would stay with your reader until they found out what was going on there. Two completely different scenes follow in ch 1 and 2, both interesting in their own right and imagining how these threads will come together makes this a very promising opening.
Also some memorable lines. eg. Denial was an old friend after all.
I think there are a few places where you could slow the words down so we can savour them, by adding the occasional comma.
eg. ch 1: Yet however many times she said it, she couldn't recall why.
eg. ch 2: The voice went away, but a few seconds passed.
It's more a matter of style, but both those phrases sound better to me with the comma.
Anyway, great stuff! Backed.

Very well penned with imagination and flair.
Backed with Pleasure
Snave
When Spirits Break Free

I'm sorry, but I'm totally disoriented by the opener and can't get any sort of feel for what's going on or where this is going. The way you confuse the reader at the start, I doubt this would make it through the triage. It would help a lot if I had a sense of where the character is and what she is. The word bleat makes me think she's a ewe.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway

This is one disturbing, fantastic story. It's very well written and easy to fall right into the storyline. Backed with pleasure.

Kristin
Demon in the Knight

Very well written and very disturbing. Parts of it felt a bit vague or dreamlike that I felt could do with tightening up but that;s more a matter of taste than anything and its early on so depends where these things go. Overall all though a very polished piece. Happy to back.

regards
mood

This is quite some world you've created! Very enjoyable names and concepts - I would HATE to find myself reliving a Grimm Fairytale...
You've captured some great imagery and atmosphere in this. Happily backed.

M&J

You've had countless eulogies below so another from me would add little. Brilliant in every way. Very good luck with it. Backed. Lynn

The Devils Fairytale

Everything about this screams quality. You have great command of sensory predicates; you have created characters with distinctive voices and weaver them into very imaginative storyline
I think you brilliant characterisation really takes this to a different level –This is very good. – Good luck.

--king genius, Greg! First time I've used any of those three words... this sort of hard-edged, cross-over fantasy is my manna. Humorous, exceedingly dark, bitter-cocoa darkness, lovely, lovely stuff! This is PERFECT!!! Wow, I must read on! That final paragraph in chapter 2; Mansor' eyes! TAAAALENTED GREG. I am wonderfully, intoxicatingly jealous. If there is any justice ITW, this will be published. Luke.

--king genius, Greg! First time I've used any of those three words... this sort of hard-edged, cross-over fantasy is my manna. Humorous, exceedingly dark, bitter-cocoa darkness, lovely, lovely stuff! Opening: loved it, only thing I'd consider changing - 'She bleated, to 'Bleat.'??? Next chapter: Sam is blind, I kind of worked it out but thought maybe it was just very dark (Night?) or whatever; maybe an earlier hint at her blindness? She reaches the trees: perhaps just: Sam reached the trees. Finally: I was wondering for sometime why she wasn't thinking about her past, where she'd come from before the ice ... then you say she can't remember (Oxford, London..?) Came a little late for me. Can't she try to think back earlier and discover a growing blank then? Right, that's it. The rest is PERFECT!!! Wow, I must read on! TAAAALENTED GREG. I am wonderfully, intoxicatingly jealous. If there is any justice ITW, this will be published. Luke.

Chapters 28 to 32. Damn, poor Sam, what a way to go! This is an intricately-woven and quite mesmersing tale of the familiar and the defintely unfamiliar. Just when you think you know what is happening, you don't! It has more twists and turns than the frontispeice of a Celtic manuscript. Didn't notice any glaring typos etc, just a preponderence of 'ing' words. Good luck with this, Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

What an imaginative story. Good characters. Good settings. A good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

I was drawn in by the title immediately, and then your pitch. Turns out to be an interesting read and it gets my backing. Sorry for the short comment. Very tired and calling it a night now! All the best, and would appreciate if you could take a look at my book.

M J
Requiem

I have read the first few chapters and I am extremely impressed! I love the detailed descriptions and how the characters are portrayed and how they interact with one another. I almost feel like I am reading a soap opera...a really good soap opera. ^_^ I am really into fairy tales since I am a teacher so this really has made a connection with me. Fantastic work. -Backed!

This is very well written, and what an opening! It's quite clever, actually, almost a cliche in that we expect it to be a dream but then it is something quite different. It comes a little at the expense of bonding with Sam. However, it doesn't last long, as you pull the reader into Sam's world, and it certainly isn't a world the reader wants to inhabit. The fairy tale like horror is subtly done and very well told from her POV. It serves a real punch at the end of the chapter. Very happy to back. ZP

This is a very good read andit is obvious it has been meticulously mapped out towards an overall resolution. Good vivd imagery and narrative flows smoothly. very good.

Greg, your first chapter is a smooth read. An enjoyable mix of narrative and dialogue. I can't nitpick that section.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

THE DEVIL'S FAIRYTALE: Greg Stewart.

Another amazing book by an extremely talented and enthusiastic author. well done once again. you are a star in the waiting.

GOOD LUCK.