Book Jacket

 

rank 1988
word count 21091
date submitted 26.02.2010
date updated 03.01.2011
genres: Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult
classification: universal
incomplete

The Guardians of Ocean City

Stephen Andrew

Taylor sees things - fleeting flashes and shadows in the night - and when she sees them, people die

 

Taylor Grey lives with her workaholic father in Ocean City, the first city to be rebuilt after a great war that left the world in near ruins. But the city hailed as the future is not as good as it seems. Plagued by mysterious murders and escalating violence, including the violent death of Taylor's sister and disappearance of her mother six months before, the city threatens to fall into the depravity that destroyed it the first time.

As the future continues to fade and a charismatic leader rises, seventeen year-old Taylor leads a sad and dull life alongside her best friend Trevor, until she meets Rogue, a mysterious man who pulls her into a dark and dangerous world where people fly and nothing is as it seems.

Welcome to the world of the Guardians, a world soon to be entwined with Ocean City in a battle for the future.

 
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tags

adventure, coming of age, fantasy, fiction, modern fantasy, ocean city, paranormal, rogue, science fiction, supernatural, taylor jordan, thriller, you...

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163 comments

 

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Hudson wrote 1341 days ago

Hi Stephen, I commented and backed Guardians after reading only the Prologue and said I was captivated. I would now like to move 'captivated' up to 'enchanted' in the broadest sense of the word. You set the scene with Rogue and then make no mention of him for the next two chapters. Taylor keeps catching glimpses of 'something' and, although she doesn't know what it is, we certainly do.
Whilst filling us in on the private life of Taylor and her erstwhile boyfriend, you nicely develop her relationship with Trevor and the reasons why that relationship is becoming more and more important to her. Her 'boring?' classes are also revealing something of the cataclysm that has overtaken the city and the fact that things aint getting any better - in fact, they are getting worse - hence the reason there are Guardians hovering about.
Everything is holding together very nicely and moving in the right direction which is totally down to your skill as a writer. The characters are real and believable even the brooding Rogue. This is a very exciting story you are unfolding and for me, the most exciting thing is that I cannot begin to guess where you are taking us.
This is what keeps pages turning. Best of Luck. Hudson. (The Power of the Pegalore)

name falied moderation wrote 1345 days ago

Dear Stephen
amazing talent you have and the skill to craft such a good original story. then you paint so vividly your characters. I always wonder at a mind that can create in the head such a different world for me , your reader, I wish I had half the talent, I really do.

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
I would really appreciate it if you would COMMENT on my work and BACK it if you see fit, if not that is OK also
The VERY best of luck with this book of yours
Denise
The Letter

andrew skaife wrote 1365 days ago

This is a fantastic piece of work for the YA market and having taught English for the last, well let's say more years than I care to consider, I can tell you that I am qualified to say that. You draw characters with excellent regard for your reader and you give the necessary attention to detail that gives your narrative a huge boost.

Excellent. BACKED

scottkenny wrote 1512 days ago

Hi Stephen, I was captured by your excellent pitch and am glad I was as your writing is terrific, and I believed in your characters entirely. This is a cracking tale with characters to care for and the promise of an interesting journey to travel with them. I'm pleased to see people behaving in realistic ways to out-of-the-world happenings. I will go back to read more as it is intriguing and original but it is so fast paced I feel need a rest! Well done, Scott.

lizjrnm wrote 1514 days ago

I am so glad to have picked this up - if it were in a book store I would buy it! Excellent and cuurent theme and your writing style is one to envy! I can tell you have a way with words and your dialogue is very believable even though the book is fantasy! Backed with pleasure!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Quenntis wrote 1086 days ago

Hi Stephen, I’ve had your book on my watch list for some time. Anyway, I’ve read your prologue and your final (‘fight’) chapter. I like your concept of Ocean City and the outsider that is not human; Rogue. You paint a dismal picture of crime and ruin from the start – which is good initial scene setting. You also get the reader into Rogue’s head by referring to some past tragedy.

However I did find that some parts of the prologue lost their ‘punch’ because you repeated yourself. For example:

Your first paragraph – “Rogue was what he called himself and that was what he was... ...preferred it.”

Could it be shortened to (and this is just an idea, an opinion, not a you-must-do-it-this-way comment):

“Rogue was what he called himself; rough enough to avoid being troubled and common enough to attract little attention. He preferred blending in – another dark stain on an already dirty wall.”

I think you want your prologue to give as much information and mystery as possible in as short an amount of time and space to pull that reader in. I think you have a great concept and an interesting character – next up is setting the scene and flow of the narrative. Good luck with your work.

Quenntis
(Tales Tell Tales)

cicuta wrote 1232 days ago

Dear Stephen, our book came to me, [ by way of recommendation ], and I am glad to say that I was so happy it did. You have a daring and bold blend of literature, that lends a certain voice for young, [ and not so young readers ]. You have a professional grasp of grammar and punctuation, but without sacrificing the all important parables of a passionate story. Strong and vivacious, there's a certain vanity about your work, which suits all great writers. Good luck and best wishes with your book. Take care, Cicuta, [ Carl, Arcane ].

Sly80 wrote 1272 days ago

Hi Stephen. I'll pop this in Comments rather than Messages in case it tempts you to come back and see the brand-spanking new ranking system. While I figure out how it works, I'm revisiting a few of the novels I previously reviewed, enjoyed and backed, to give them a star rating. Apparently the star system involves cunning maths whereby you have to get rather a lot of high ratings before the score deviates from some average or other. Hopefully, mine will eventually help.

Zero-serenity wrote 1302 days ago

Interesting.
backed

Lisa M. Taylor wrote 1329 days ago

I am new to this but I was very impressed with your prologue. As a visual learner, you have given me plenty of description to form a picture of Rogue in my mind. From what I have read so far, I am backing your book and I will be putting your book on my bookshelf for a more intense reading session. Well Done.

My book is called Reverie if you are interested.

Daniel Manning wrote 1331 days ago

Taylor Jordans sister and mother are murdered in mysterious circumstsnces leaving her an emotional wreck dependent on pills and alcohol New Ocean city was built on the foundations of hopes and dreams after the great war, now its becoming a nightmare for Taylor Jordan.
So many unanswered questions leaves Taylor forever in the dark about the past, but it seems a taboo subject because the future is all that anybody seems interested in.
Great story probing the inner consciousness of a post war world, through the eyes of an adolescent searching for the truth. The wall of silence deafens the tranquillity, and expounds the disquiet of New Ocean City
Backed with pleasure.
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility
Chapter three: Taylors dad had always worked hard, but anymore, he never seemed to stop. 'But Anymore should that be there?

graciem365 wrote 1332 days ago

The story moves a long at a great pace you give the reader just enough information to leave them wondering what's going to happen next. --grace a perfect life

ccb1 wrote 1333 days ago

We are backing The Guardians of Ocean City. Hats off to you! This is a very well-written science fiction story!
CC Brown
Dark Side

ccb1 wrote 1333 days ago

We are backing The Guardians of Ocean City. Hats off to you! This is a very well-written science fiction story! We are backing.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Kristen Stone wrote 1333 days ago

Guardian of the City
Hi Stephen, I liked the premise of this story, it has lots of potential but I agree with some other comments, it needs some polishing before it is ready for the editors. I loved the Prologue but felt the first chapter went on a bit, but that might just be me. I agree with K A Smith about the 'anymore's. Some of them didn't even make sense and this spoilt the read for me. Get these things sorted and I am sure you will have a good book on your hands. Good luck.
Backed.
Kristen Stone
Kianda Mala - The Monkey Man

Lizilev wrote 1333 days ago

You set the scene with your easy descriptive style, drawing the reader into the story and leave them wanting to know more about Taylor and how Rogue comes into her life. So far there's only been the odd tantalising glimpse. I look forward to reading more when you complete it. Backed with pleasure.
Lizilev

Tim Andrewartha wrote 1334 days ago

This has potential. Taylor is a good MC & the plot seems to be moving in an interesting direction. However, I would say more work needs to be done to get it ready for the editor's desk. I felt that the prologue needed to be more eventful & the following two chapters needed to be edited down so they move quicker. Tim (Vitality)

Elizabeth Wolfe wrote 1335 days ago

Dear Stephen,
Wow! What an opening chapter! You've set a scene so vivid, so dark and twisted, inhumane and tortured. I can see this as a blockbuster movie. I seriously hope you get published quickly and then turn it into a screenplay.

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)
PS And here I was, thinking I'd investigate Ocean City as a potential retirement spot!

K A Smith wrote 1335 days ago

Hi Stephen, I like this a lot. I especially like the way you pace things. The characterisation is effective and unintrusive to the story, the milieu is sufficiently drawn without info-dumps, it seems to be building up a fime head of steam, and to a purpose. Foreshadowing, and the odd harbinger, is skilfully woven into the narrative, and it all just, well - works. Thank you.

I have a few notes, I may have missed one or tow points, but I keep on getting too engrosseed in your writing to retain a critical detachment:

Ignore ad libitum:

Chapter 1.
'...a groan rose up from his throat as the feeling increased intensity...' A euphonious passage, but one which brought my reading up short, partly because I expected an 'in' after increased...

Chapter 2.
'It seemed that all they did was argue anymore...' I wouldn't argue with this usage if it was reported speech, as it is demotic, but I think an author's voice might choose a more correct phrase.

'...but their relationship was nearly non-existent anymore.' Anymore - again. Maybe now/these days?

'Taylor turned to him(,?) surprised. "You're not drinking.(?-?)"'

'"...You can't stand these people. You never have (could?)."'

'Anymore, he was the only one who seemed to...' Any more anymores? Am I missing something here? Is this an Anthony-Burgess-type usage?

'...through the lobby and down the first couple (of) streets...'

'Taylor glared slightly as she approached, behind the hair drifted over her eyes.' I'd leave out the slightly, personally. Also the second clause made me pause.

'But when she ventured from the path once(,?) several years ago...'

Chapter 3.
'...deco that left the place feeling nearly as empty as it might if it really had been.' This so nearly worked for me...

I'm not sure how a window faces a different direction when closed...

I'm happy with a singular tile to represent tiles in the shower, as long as it is not a typo...

Chapter 4.
'"...knowing something terrible had happened. And then (he?) told me they were dead."'

celticwriter wrote 1336 days ago

Hey Stephen, still loving the read. In case my earlier backing didn't stick, I'm backing again.

sincerely,
jim
jack & charmian london

celticwriter wrote 1336 days ago

Thank you Stephen for backing LONDON. Yours is a delightful read. Backing yours. :-)

jim

Christian Piatt wrote 1336 days ago

Stephen:
This is an interesting sort of post-apocalyptic messiah story. So much darkness, but just enough light to offer a bit of hope. I'm a fan of the anti-hero, which your character seems to be, and the context is a compelling one for a coming-of-age experience.
Best of luck with your book. Backed.
Peace,
Christian Piatt
PULLING THE GOALIE

jbrogden wrote 1336 days ago

Like this - it reminds me of The Crow a bit. Backed. Hope it does well.

memphisgirl wrote 1337 days ago

I've read straight through all seven chapters posted, angry because I can't fix my addiction to these characters. I must know what and who Rogue is. The "dark stain on an already dirty wall" could describe Taylor's feelings about herself and her own life (her dad misses her birthday party after she loses her mother) as well as Rogue himself. The writing is brisque, energetic, and "in the pocket." Occasionally, there's a lapse into a string of "to be" verbs, but most of the time your vivid writing propels the characters through taut and tense scenes, pulling along the suspense until the tension reaches a breaking point. Please post more chapters.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Sly80 wrote 1337 days ago

'He blended in like a dark stain on an already dirty wall', great description, but what, exactly, is he, 'Ignoring his instincts once again'? And who was Elyse? On to Taylor and her cynicism, 'people with nothing to forget slowly forgetting their nothing'. She, it seems, has too many things to forget, including a dead sister, a missing mother and alcoholism.

Trevor is trying to help her, but she doesn't appreciate it. She doesn't appreciate her boyfriend getting off with another girl either - headlong flight. Trevor to the rescue, 'I may or may not have punched Chad'. And what the heck are the flying things? Drat, not going to find out in the first 3 chapters.

I like the atmosphere of this, dark and brooding, everything and everyone has a past: the world, the city, Taylor, Rogue. And the future is looking bleak too as the city disintegrates. Something bad is happening, but only Rogue seems to know what and why. So many questions, which is just the way it should be, and a protagonist who embodies teenage angst and loneliness, yet still manages to raise a chuckle ... the target audience should be bowled over by this ... backed.

Possible nits: By the time we get to 'slightly-more-reclusive', the hyphens are getting a bit noticeable. Maybe rephrase, e.g. 'anything but a normal, if slightly reclusive, human being'. This is just me, but I'd leave off 'like a host of devouring apparitions', it's striking enough without. 'that lead [led] to a balcony'.

Watch out for the occasional series of sentences / paragraphs beginning with the same or similar words word, e.g. names / He / She. Sometimes you could just vary the sentence structure, e.g. 'Ignoring her indignation, Trevor said,'

Lynne Ellison wrote 1337 days ago

interesting futuristic fantasy

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

Linda Lou wrote 1337 days ago

THE GUARDIANS OF OCEAN CITY- Stephen Andrew
hullo Stephen. Your prologue is great taking the reader to the core of the issue even though the reader may not be aware of this. very good Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

scorselo wrote 1337 days ago

Your writing moves at an active pace, keeps the reader involved and the story moving. good writing


Backed
Scorselo

Barry Wenlock wrote 1338 days ago

Hi Steven, I really enjoyed your opening chapter. I'll read more when I get time. Rogue is developing ito a very strong character already thanks to your excellent writing. I thought the sentence, 'Rogue was human....' was brilliant.
'common-enough-looking' goes well with 'rough-enough-looking'
The city was silent. (short,and so sweet)
Good stuff, backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Crowel wrote 1338 days ago

Great first chapter. I will back this and read more when I get the chance.

Lacey

Laurence Howard wrote 1339 days ago

Eloquent, imaginative and original. I have read first three chapters and wait for the rest to be unloaded. Backed on what I have read so far. It has the makings of a fine novel.
Laurence winchester, The Cross of Goa

MillieC wrote 1339 days ago

Hey Stephen,
Rather a vague pitch, do you want anyone to read your story...? However, once past this, the story is EXCELLENTLY written; having recently edited my own work, I am hyper-sensitive to any errors, grammatical or otherwise- I found none.
Well done! Backed.
Millie C

trainspotter wrote 1339 days ago

Really enjoying this read. Here are just a few of my observations:

You may or may not know that 'Rogue' is the name of one of the main characters in X-Men, who also has supernatural powers. As soon as I started reading your book, the image popped into my head. Your target audience will all probably know this, so it may them start out on the wrong foot.

Beautiful evocative writing. I can picture everything like a scene in a movie.

'disillusioned youth' should be 'youths' with an s as you're talking about specific individuals, not the youth of today etc

You say 'the shadows returned' but it's not clear whether they returned from earlier in the evening, when the moon was covered, or from an earlier time completely.

'lightyears of space and space and nothingness' - repetition of 'and space'

'strong' legs I'd leave out the word 'strong' or replace it with something less generic eg muscled etc

Very intriguing character and setting. Definitely drawing me into the story.

'over in his fingers' and 'slip from his fingers' maybe better if the first 'fingers' was replaced with 'hands' ?

I'll keep reading, but am very happy to back this x


Gingernut wrote 1340 days ago

not a bd read easy to get into and follow Taylors life
Gingernut

Cariad wrote 1340 days ago

Well, if it's a re-write, it's gone well. The first three paragraphs are perfect and sucked me right into the book and made me instantly drawn to Rogue and the whole situation of the novel. (when I said the first 3 para's are perfect, that wasn't to say that the rest isn't!) The story is well written and told and the pace and the hooks are perfectly pitched. Backed.
Polly
STONES.

Eunice Attwood wrote 1341 days ago

Your pitch is great, and the book held me captive until I snapped back into reality, realizing I had forgotten to put dinner on. Great stuff. Backed with pleasure. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

minx2minx wrote 1341 days ago

Backed with pleasure.
Lizzie Scott :-)

Hudson wrote 1341 days ago

Hi Stephen, I commented and backed Guardians after reading only the Prologue and said I was captivated. I would now like to move 'captivated' up to 'enchanted' in the broadest sense of the word. You set the scene with Rogue and then make no mention of him for the next two chapters. Taylor keeps catching glimpses of 'something' and, although she doesn't know what it is, we certainly do.
Whilst filling us in on the private life of Taylor and her erstwhile boyfriend, you nicely develop her relationship with Trevor and the reasons why that relationship is becoming more and more important to her. Her 'boring?' classes are also revealing something of the cataclysm that has overtaken the city and the fact that things aint getting any better - in fact, they are getting worse - hence the reason there are Guardians hovering about.
Everything is holding together very nicely and moving in the right direction which is totally down to your skill as a writer. The characters are real and believable even the brooding Rogue. This is a very exciting story you are unfolding and for me, the most exciting thing is that I cannot begin to guess where you are taking us.
This is what keeps pages turning. Best of Luck. Hudson. (The Power of the Pegalore)

Wezzle wrote 1341 days ago

I have enjoyed reading the first three chapters. Your writing is good and it flows well. I like how you describe the/her surroundings etc. The dialogue is good and believable.

A few nits:

I stumbled a bit over the use of the word *anymore* - maybe it's a British thing but we use it's meaning differently in the UK. I suppose it's a bit like when we say *anyhow* and Americans say *anyhoo* (I'm assuming here you're American?) (Maybe I shouldn't assume anything ;))

I was hoping Taylor (love the name btw) would have some thought about why Trevor went back to fighting and why she was the reason. 'I needed to release somehow' he says - wouldn't that make her wonder what he was bottling up? Just my opinion.

Apart from the above I really enjoyed this. I know a lot of readers believe a prologue is superfluous and doesn't really need to be there, and this story could live without it - but I want to say how wonderfully written your prologue is - whether you decide to keep it or not.

Good luck with this.
Lynn :)

Idea Girl Consulting wrote 1342 days ago

thanks 4 backing the calamity girl.. I'm backing the guardians..

Silver_Eyes wrote 1342 days ago

Wow. I was excited about your book from the moment I read the first paragraph of your pitch. This is exactly the kind of story I love!! Futuristic worlds, perilous times, strange magics and mystery. I back without question. I will be able to comment more once I've read more into your MS. Thank you so much for sharing.

And thank you for backing my YA fantasy novel JHEVALIA. I can see by your favorite books and books you're currently reading, we have similar tastes, which is another reason I look forward to plunging into your book.


Laura
"Jhevalia"

Jim Darcy wrote 1342 days ago

Well written and involving read. Plenty of original touches and strong characterisation. Dialogue convinces and flows.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

Hudson wrote 1344 days ago

Hi Stephen, I have read only your prologue so far and already I am captivated. You have quickly created a scenario that is irresistible. Rogue? Guardian? What can this creature be? I intend to find out but, in the meantime, you are definitely backed. Hudson. (The Power of the Pegalore)

Frank Calcagno wrote 1344 days ago

I love your intro paragraph. I'll pitch $25 on the table when I see this one in B&N. Backed...definitely.

flower girl wrote 1344 days ago

I really enjoyed reading this. I did as you said in the pitch and only read the first three chapters but I was hooked and would have read more. The pace is measured and the dialogue believable. Backed.

Bill Carrigan wrote 1344 days ago

Hi Stephen, After reading and backing your book, I realized I hadn't thanked you for backing "The Doctor of Summitville. I really appreciate your support. Thanks very much, Bill

Bill Carrigan wrote 1344 days ago

Hello Stephen, I've read three chapters of your novel and like it enough to back it without reading further, though I will resume reading when you've done more editing. I like your style--clear sentences of varied length, realistic dialogue, rising tension. I hope you'll take a look at "The Doctor of Summitville," a love story about a country doctor in American during the depression of the 1920s. Best of luck with "The Guardian of Ocean City," Bill

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 1344 days ago

You have an excellent piece of work here, my sons would have loved this. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

nsllee wrote 1345 days ago

Hi Stephen

Great opening - the lone outsider with the tragic mystery in his past, the suggestion of abandon or exile from an onerous duty as a Guardian, the sombre sinister dangerous city, the gathering shadows of the dark - who can resist? Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

name falied moderation wrote 1345 days ago

Dear Stephen
amazing talent you have and the skill to craft such a good original story. then you paint so vividly your characters. I always wonder at a mind that can create in the head such a different world for me , your reader, I wish I had half the talent, I really do.

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
I would really appreciate it if you would COMMENT on my work and BACK it if you see fit, if not that is OK also
The VERY best of luck with this book of yours
Denise
The Letter

SusieGulick wrote 1346 days ago

Dear Steven, I love your science fiction story - kinda like the Terminator, huh? It also reminded me of Superman & Lois :) - a combo of a lot of them. :) I love your imagination. :) Hope you will write a lot of books. :) I thought I had backed your book, but couldn't find my comment, so will back it again, just in case. :) Thank you for backing my memoir book, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." Hope you'll take a moment to back my other memoir book, "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks so much. Love, Susie :)

Frank James wrote 1346 days ago



To Stephen Andrew (The Guardians of Ocean City

Great style in your work. I think it will be well received in the book stores. I liked it and will BACK it

Frank James (The Contractor)














Billy Young wrote 1358 days ago

From the start you create a dark and sinister world. A great backdrop to the strong characters you have set within this story. Backed.

Benjamin Dancer wrote 1359 days ago

Seven students come immediately to mind who I know would eat this up. I'll pass it along in the fall.

djinnia wrote 1363 days ago

this was great. the multiple mysteries make the reader want to read more.

personally i was a little turned off by the cigarette smoking,but that has nothing to do with the quality of your work. i can see how she started smoking with the self-destructive moments that come with the trauma of losing her mother and sister.

this is a wonderful piece of dark fiction, and i hope you upload more. (and, of course, send me a message when you do!) ;-)

me