All for the Little One

Excellent idea! I agree with you . I wrote that part in a hurry and always meant to change that, but forgot to.. I've since rewrote it. Check it out and thank you!

This rolls along swimmingly; good breezy style, and well written. Critique-wise there were just a couple things at the beginning I'd tinker with: reference to "tree truck" probably meant to be "tree trunk", and comparing the cat claws to an axe didn't seem spot on -- maybe more like a wood chipper? But lots of fun overall. Best of luck with this!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

This rolls along swimmingly; good breezy style, and well written. Critique-wise there were just a couple things at the beginning I'd tinker with: reference to "tree truck" probably meant to be "tree trunk", and comparing the cat claws to an axe didn't seem spot on -- maybe more like a wood chipper? But lots of fun overall. Best of luck with this!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Good enjoyable read. Light and entertaining


backed the mind setter

This a lively, humorous, light read. I like your tone and thought the bit about being half dead by the time you reach Taco Bell was very amusing!
As you're already aware, the text does need tidying up, and I'm not a fan of multiple exclamation or question marks. For me, I found the large amount of text in brackets weakened the impact of your writing as this is something you did a lot, and the points would read better worked in as part of the flowing text. Also, some sentences were very long and drawn our with commas when they could be more powerful broken up. But I understand you want the text to across as dialogue, so this is probably a matter of style.
I think your content and plot is great, but needs slightly tighter writing to do it the maximum justice.
These are just my thoughts as I read the first chapter - hope they are helpful!

Pretty hard to read this without having a smile on my face!

Lockjaw

Dear Katfather,
All for the Little One....... nice work...... Actually great work.... I like the way you draw the reader with your short yet dynamic synopsis. Gives one the impression they need to delve into the story to get the full extent of all those questions. Best of luck with your work and much success
Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

Sounds like my eldest's life. :) A fun and entertaining read.

Thank you. Give my best to your eldest..poor thing..

Fun stuff with great potential.

What needs some work is your presentation. For example: The huge gaps between paras; random use of capital letters; elipses only ever come in threes (some of yours could be replaced with full stops and/or end dashes), and lastly you're a big fan of exclamation marks-- but most editors aren't.

I know, I'm as guilty, I get nagged about this stuff it in my writing all the time at my writing group :-)

Enjoyed the read. Backed.

Jan:
Thank you for the advice. The space problem is an accident. For some odd reason it happens everytime I transfer stuff from my Open Office to here. Have NO idea why, and only shows some time pass the transfer, sometimes days later. Drives me crazy. Didn't know about the misuse of capitals, but not surprised; always had a problem with my shift key. Will work on that, thank you. What you say about me using exclamation marks too much is a real big surprise since I hate the things. As a kid it ALWAYS bothered the Hell out of me that comicbook dialogue ALWAYS had sentances end with exclamation marks, no matter what. Drove me crazy and vowed I would never do that, so as i said, surprised that I did it enough for you to comment about it. Must check into that..thank you. Afraid i disagree on you about number of elipses since I want the text to sound like someone talking, and I wanted the slow or thoughtful pause to be shown sometimes. In some cases a lot like Jack Benny's famous ''watching the funeral procession go by'' pause before giving the punchline. but maybe my timing is off. I'll check it again. Thank you so much for the read and the view
Kat

Sounds like my eldest's life. :) A fun and entertaining read.

You have written a very interesting, very funny and unique storyline, which I do like. Your musings and chaotic life kept a smile on my face for the whole time I was reading. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

thoroughly enjoyable. hope it goes higher in the rankings. I've backed it. Please check out 'the compulsive adventurer' for travels around the world with a difference. Thanks Mike

Fun stuff with great potential.

What needs some work is your presentation. For example: The huge gaps between paras; random use of capital letters; elipses only ever come in threes (some of yours could be replaced with full stops and/or end dashes), and lastly you're a big fan of exclamation marks-- but most editors aren't.

I know, I'm as guilty, I get nagged about this stuff it in my writing all the time at my writing group :-)

Enjoyed the read. Backed.

Hi Katfather, This is entertaining and it wound like a story from the spool. I wasn’t surprised when the narrator referred to his boyhood in Ireland and the stories there. But these scenes are real, going from one small catastrophe to the next. The part about the lack of sidewalks and the car situation – liked that because I walk a lot and neighborhoods like that are what you described. This has lively dialogue, funny metaphors and is fun to read. Happy to shelve – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi Katfather
This is an interesting piece of work. The characters are real and down to earth and you develop them nicely. Very charming and extremely witty with some great one-liners.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Excellent cross-genre piece here. I think it all hangs on hte superb three-dimensional characterisation you portray: real, funny, vivid and believable.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

LITTLE ONE
This is a fun book to read. You’ve created a good character in Kat. She’s spunky and likable. Her day reminded me so much of many of my own I found myself laughing out loud. A good read, I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Uh, thank you, but I THINK I should tell you that ''Kat'' is short for KatFATHER, and I'm HIM. I'm sorry about the mixup, I make it a lot more clear what sex I am in part 4, but thanks for reading otherwise.. best, Katfather.. Timms

Hey there, Katfather...the more I take your journey, the more it captivates. Happy travels up the ladder!

jim
jack & charmian london

Very funny, there is some good comedy on here and you will join the ranks straight away. Congratulations and well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Welcome aboard, Katfather. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. Both pitches work for this genre. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book on the website, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

LITTLE ONE
This is a fun book to read. You’ve created a good character in Kat. She’s spunky and likable. Her day reminded me so much of many of my own I found myself laughing out loud. A good read, I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Dear Katfather,
Love the book cover love the read. Your short and long pitch are as beguiling as they need to be, with promise of a good read and it was. I have not read it all obviously, however I will carry on. Very witty and well crafted, and I just love the way you make me feel I am with you in the room and you are telling this to me. CONGRATS.
BACKED for sure by me
I do hope you review my book, please comment ( this assists me in honing my skill) and if you feel, back it.
Thanks and BEST OF LUCK WITH YOUR BOOK
Denise
The Letter

It's whimsical, it's charming but also a little bit eerie with that small shadow at the top of the stairs. It's amusing, especially the bit where he admits after getting soaked that he needed the manure washing off anyway. He's a lovely man, the victim of temperamental and mischievous creatures - and all this for a shadow.
Strange and backed. lynn

Ahh sweet Lynn.. how delightful to see an old '' friend'' again; I thought you had quit the site like I did for awhile; I'm glad.. I always thought that your book should have been picked a LONG time ago.. I kept looking for it in the bookstores because I was sure it was going to be picked up! Amazed it hasn't been yet! That's insane..

Sadly, my book is almost the same it was last year with some improvements and sadly some new problems. Because of that hadicap I once told you about I still need a special keyboard and the stupid thing keeps having problems with Caps, I still have delexia (but a better spellchecker, that SOMETIMES works) and I still have trouble with the stupid spacing when transfered from my computer to here. I really, really shouldn't have put it up, but one of the people I talk about in the story asked me to, and I stupidly promised I would. I'm very embrassed that someone with YOUR talent is reading it again with all the mistakes, but also delighted at the same time, and since it's YOU that's one of the readers, I am going to do my very best to make it worth your trouble.. Thanks for the comment.

It's whimsical, it's charming but also a little bit eerie with that small shadow at the top of the stairs. It's amusing, especially the bit where he admits after getting soaked that he needed the manure washing off anyway. He's a lovely man, the victim of temperamental and mischievous creatures - and all this for a shadow.
Strange and backed. lynn

Jillian,
You are totally and completely correct in your views and advice, and while I can blame a very stupid spellchecker that's been driving me insane, the final fault is mine alone for not checking it enough times. I should have been more careful transferring the work from my other website to here, since that's whats causing the stupid spacing (the other site I'm on has limited space on each page, and all night long I had to often connect paragraphs together. But again, the fault is mine in the end..)
The is no reason to throw a shoe, but reason a plenty to throw a big ''Thank you'' to you. Jay Leno and I share the same problem of a type of Dyslexia that sometimes gets in the way of spelling correct even if we know the word is spelled wrong. It's maddening, and any help I can get is most welcome. We become writers because of wanting food for our sometimes big ego, but I like to think that my ego isn't so big that I refuse to get help and thus am stupid..
One disagreement though.. the brackets STAY. They are thoughts that can't be written otherwise, or information that I would love people to know, that have something to do with what's happening, but would ruin the action going on as well as a place to stop and relax. You are correct, but I repeat, the brackets STAY.
As for a**, yeah, I agree. The first place I was writing for had under 18 readers, and even though I thought it silly since most of them could make a sailors face red by THEIR language, the website kept changing ass to a**. I should have caught it in the transfer, damn. To be honest, it'll be a pleasure to be able to write it RIGHT now. Ass ass ass! I love it!! Thank you..
I'm going to copy this letter and put it also on the comment page so that everyone else can see how smart you were, and perhaps also get the idea to read YOUR book. Me, I'll read it as soon as possible, but apparently I've got a lot of rewriting to do..damn

Dear Katfather, I love that you asked all of the questions in your pitch - that is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) I could answer, "yes" on half of your questions which is in my memoirs. :) I love that you have written incidents in your life - so real - you put me right there with you. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
backed :)
Love, Susie :)