Rebekka Downing finding Grace

The writing is engaging and a bit precocious, but very readable. However, the grammar needs a bit of work.

"...grandfather's chauffeur and stayed with them after he had passed away." I would love to meet such a chauffeur. Because of the way the words are placed, it reads like the chauffeur died and not Grandfather.

2005 need not be written out, nor should MPH/KPH, time on the clock or other such instances involving numbers be spelled out.
"suits" is not necessary. Either use italics or leave it without the quotes.

This is a cute story that is written fairly well and needs a bit of tweaking.

I like your short pitch and titled, so I started the read. I've backed you on my bookshelf after reading chapter one. This is a lovely start - I love it! My son is almost eight and gifted, and I can't wait to see how she stays right on in line with the age...I can see Rebekka right in my mind already...a great character. Good luck!

Hey EJ. Brilliant short pitch. But I think you can edit your long pitch. Don't tell us this is highly original story. Let us determine that ourselves. Rather, give us more so we can make that decision. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

This is a charming story. You have a wonderful character in Rebekka. She's feisty and likable and I think schoolagers will like reading about her a lot. It's sort of a parallel to the Home Alone movies but better because you have a girl as your main character. As most young readers are girls, not guys, that should make it twice as appealing to your audience. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Dear EJ, I love fiction & Christian. :) Your story is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs & diologue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Please take a moment to BACK my TWO Books, ... "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" ... and the UNEDITED version? ... "Tell Me True Love Stories"
Thanks, Susie :)

The first paragraph has a great punchline, but it could use a bit of trimming to give that line more punch.

Why do men always describe females characters as beautiful? Could she not be elegant, or angular, or handsome, attractive in some unusual way? Beautiful is too overused. I had a girlfriend in Italy years ago, who could not have been more peculiar looking. She had a very boyish figure, and a face that was all circles. Very odd looking but, dressed with such taste, on a very small allowance I might add, and carried herself so elegantly, that she attracted the stares of the young swains wherever we went. She was the sexiest woman I have ever seen, and I was totally mad about her. She was singular, but no one would describe her as beautiful.

I do like the way she gets new nannies whenever she says something precocious, however.

I'd be more than happy to back this outright, as it doesn't try to appeal to the masses from the supermarket shelves, but I'm in a very competitive position and need all the help I can get.

Please have a look at Moonbeam Highway and I'll lend this my TSR.

Tim Chambers