He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not -Bk I&II Tell Me True Love Stories Memoir

I've begun reading Susie Guilick's "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not - Book I. Don't let the itemized list of tragedies in the pitch discourage you. Pitches are tough to write, especially for a modest author - simple advice to authors, avoid lists in the pitch. This is true for Susie Guilick, especially as the narrative in her memoir immediately transports readers to a wholly different mindset. The author's writing style is clean and engaging, and most important, accessible to readers across a spectrum of ages.

The memoir leans heavily on terrible events, which batter the lives of the characters. A reader wonders if everything in the memoir can be true. Realistically, the trials are all packed into a full, if not pleasant life. The challenges are like Job's labors and coping with them layer a Christian theme on the memoir. At first, I was a dissuaded by the emphasis on the love for Jesus, but again, the narrative is much deeper and the proclamation is necessary, for the sake of sanity and humanity in this memoir. Susie Guilick is a wonderful storyteller. The author catches the attention of the reader and holds it with a pattern of emotional "highs" and "lows."

Matthew Sawyer - author of the Pazuzu Trilogy
November, 2010

Dear Matthew,

I am so happy to hear from you & that you commented on my book. :) I notice that you have no books on your shelf. To back books: In "my news," click on author's name which will bring up their profile page, on which you scroll down & click on their book cover & title, which will bring up their book. :) Over to the right, you'll see ******-rating, so click on the right star & then click on "read the book" which will bring it to your bookshelf & you will see it. :) On top left of your screen, click "me" & it will bring you back to where you started. :) Let me know if I can help more. :)

With pleasure, I read, commented on, ******-rated, & put your book on watchlist, to back when space opens on my bookshelf. :)

I am totally amazed at your beautiful heartfelt review of my story which I wrote from my heart with a lot of crying, feelings, & prayer & the underlying message that God loves me in spite of myself & my bad choices. :)

Thank you so very much for taking all of the time for me & for your encouraging word & feedback. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. hope you ******-rated my book :) - every ******-ing & backing moves our books closer to the editor's desk :)

This particular quick review will not address editing, the nature of foreshadowing used at the end of each chapter or the use of capitalizations for emphasis (after all, who am I to say?).
He Love Me, He Loves Me Not--a Memior by Susie Gulick
This work of 134,000 plus words is a remarkable piece of work in my view for a number of reasons. First, it is mostly done in dialog--it is astounding recall by the author, it quickly brings the reader into hard human life in America--so hard, and it is non-stop. I question whether I can possibly do it justice. The answer is that I cannot, however, I will attempt to capture the book(s) as best that I can.
It is a story of human life, human tragedy, human mistakes and inhuman people close to her. It is a story of one's search for joy against a stereotype perhaps formed early in life out of neccessity--I will not decipher this element any more than that. It was as if every time there was a little bit of happiness or joy for the children early in the memoir, something terrible would rise up to claim it away. For me it was a study of a family who had virtually nothing in the forties and fifties but most somehow managed to survive and at least grow into better physical surroundings--but emotionally were being injured on meeting new people (or employers) and the pain although a different kind, did not stop. The sixties in my view is a glimpse into the so-called sexual revolution many people participated in I suppose, and the author relates the era in such a way that many of us may interpret as cold and best forgotten.
Toward the eighties, nineties and through today, the reader can feel the history of this person and how it still affects her--when inhuman actions are taken against another, there are always lasting effects and I sense that here. It is a labor intensive work and I admire the author for sticking to it. It is easy to cry in chapter one and nurse a headache for the confused actions being revealed in later chapters.
I highly recommend the book. My preference would be to combine it all into one and use the richness of the prose in book two in one title--but that's just me and again, I am hardly qualified to fully appreciate the all this author has given us--she does give us everything.

Hunter Ayers
September, 2010

To Suzie Q

Firstly can I apologise for my late response to you and a considerable number of other Authonomy writers. Unfortunately - when duty calls and all that jazz1
I'm truly bowled over by your comments on my book, The Contractor. To have you describe it as the 'best one on Authonomy' gives my confidence a terrific boost and I'm sure you can understand the need for confidence. I'm planning a sequel to The Contractor which is where confidence is needed as I'm finding it even more difficult to write than The Contractor. Here's me thinking it would be easier. The Contractor has taken me over two years and I know I have a load of work yet to do..

For someone only 5' tall, you sure pack a real punch with your writing lady. I'm going to admit to something on paper that I would not do on a face to face interview. When I read some of the passages in your books, I had a lump in my throat and for that to happen to me takes a lot of doing.

It's not fashionable these days to carry your love of Jesus Christ as open as you do, but it's something I admire.
Some people will tell you that they only turned to Jesus, many soldiers included, when badly wounded or when all appeared to be lost.

I'm delighted to back you ten times over and that's because I 'm sure I'm backing at least one 'best seller.'

Frank James (The Contractor)

Dear James,

I am so happy that you took the time for me, to read, back, & comment on my memoir book, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." :)

I loved your book & know that you will do well on your next one. :)

From my heart, I wrote my story with a lot of tears, feelings, & prayter - God loves me in spite of myself & my bad choices - & I never give up. :)

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your kind reflections. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. Hope you'll take a moment to back my other memoir book, "Tell Me True Love Stories." :) Thanks. :)

Came to read your two books as requested and got merrily slapped in the face and dragged inside. My wholly positive comment and eager backing are the same for both books. Memoirs, or even `tales` of human living and suffering will always engage readers because it is good `story` which matters; and you have suffering (good story) in droves. To that end, you’re already off to a flying start. But that’s not the main player here. It’s your wonderful voice. You carry a certain fresh naivety in your tone which captivates - and I mean that in a completely positive way. A naivety which grips reader and pulls him through the `story` - the `suffering` - It’s a page turner. Good luck with this!

Touching Account, Bet this book will inspire and strengthen your readers. God Loves you more.

Touching Account, Bet this book will inspire and strengthen your readers. God Loves you more.

I must say I found this tremendously sad reading , to the extent that it was very difficult to finish the first chapter.But , of course , it is amazing that you are still here . I dont know as yet whether you have found your Knight in Shining Armour. I don't know if you have the time , but I wonder if you would be able to look at the first chapter of my novel 'A Buccaneer' , which is about Pirates in the 17th century , with best wishes , Strachan Gordon

I haven't been on here for a while due to other things and just read what Harper Collins wrote about your book. What they've said is very true but one thing they haven't added is how brave you are to have done it. It takes a lot for someone to expose their life like this. I've been writing another book that documents my adventures over the last year and some things are hard to write about and within your book you've tackled a lot of complicated things and I just wanted to say how proud you should feel of being voted by everybody and getting to the top slot on this site.
I hope somewhere will find this book and help you get your story told to even more people.
All the best, John.

I haven't been on here for a while due to other things and just read what Harper Collins wrote about your book. What they've said is very true but one thing they haven't added is how brave you are to have done it. It takes a lot for someone to expose their life like this. I've been writing another book that documents my adventures over the last year and some things are hard to write about and within your book you've tackled a lot of complicated things and I just wanted to say how proud you should feel of being voted by everybody and getting to the top slot on this site.
I hope somewhere will find this book and help you get your story told to even more people.
All the best, John.

What a wild ride this one is!! I just tore through six chapters and look forward to coming back for more...

So in other words, real stories no too personal too close to the bone forget it... we go for the garbage..
Good stuff Susie this site is crap and there is no reason to aim for the editor's desk.
A dog could give a better review ~

Dear John,

Afterthought on my response to your comment on my memoirs/testimony book, "He Loves Me" is that I was only wanting their review and was not trying to get published by HarperCollins because, what is the statistics on what I heard that they have only published 7 books since authonomy has been on the web for 3 years? :) I am totally pleased that God gave me grace, mercy, & favor in their sight & gave me a wonderful review - better than I ever dreamt or imagined. :)

I am still extremely sick as I'm sure you've read on my profile page & am only answering messages, so barely on authonomy. :) I'm not able to finish my 2nd book, "Bible Verse Songs" which I put on authonomy 3-1-11 that I'd been writing down Bible verses over the past year that have been put to song & I made it like a hymnal :) - Campus Crusade & Youth For Christ, when I was growing up had a similar booklet with choruses' words without the music. :) It has gone from 4080 to 2075 from the editor's desk. :)

Love, Susie :)

So in other words, real stories no too personal too close to the bone forget it... we go for the garbage..
Good stuff Susie this site is crap and there is no reason to aim for the editor's desk.
A dog could give a better review ~

Dear John,

Thank you for taking the time for me & sending me your comment on "He Loves Me." :) To be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk was my last goal because I've achieved all my other goals & am now old & sick which I'm sure you've read in my profile page, with my only strength being in the Lord. :)

I just re-read your submission & was again thankful that I don't work in mines & have the same conclusion that I'd try to escape. :) I also checked to be sure that I had gold-******-rated your book. :)

Thanks again. :)

Love, Susie :)

So in other words, real stories no too personal too close to the bone forget it... we go for the garbage..
Good stuff Susie this site is crap and there is no reason to aim for the editor's desk.
A dog could give a better review ~

Hi Susie
Havn't been on the site in a while but delighted to see you got a review but equally sad that they didn't want to publish. I think you should go to a publisher who specialises in 'misery memoirs' now you have a good review under your belt. Don't stop now xx

Dear Christine,

It is so nice of you to take the time to send me your best wishes. :)

I went to your page & don't see your book - did you get it published? :) It's not there.

I notice you have my "He Loves Me" memoirs/testimony book on your shelf. :)

Hope you'll put my new book, "Bible Verse Songs" on your shelf, too. :) I put it on authonomy 3-1-11. :)

Thanks so much for writing to me. :)

Love, Susie :)

Hi Susie
Havn't been on the site in a while but delighted to see you got a review but equally sad that they didn't want to publish. I think you should go to a publisher who specialises in 'misery memoirs' now you have a good review under your belt. Don't stop now xx

I can't imagine a comment from a so-called professional reviewer being less relevant and as entirely useless and unhelpful as that! It's an absolute disgrace and makes me feel genuinely sorry for all the time and effort that you put into the writing and the process of getting to the Ed's desk. If anything proves how wasteful and heartbreaking this actually can turn out to be, then this is it! Shame on HP and their miserable, blinkered and narrow-minded staff!

Dear Vanessa,

Thank you for taking the time for me. :)

God bless you. :)

Love, Susie :)

I can't imagine a comment from a so-called professional reviewer being less relevant and as entirely useless and unhelpful as that! It's an absolute disgrace and makes me feel genuinely sorry for all the time and effort that you put into the writing and the process of getting to the Ed's desk. If anything proves how wasteful and heartbreaking this actually can turn out to be, then this is it! Shame on HP and their miserable, blinkered and narrow-minded staff!

Greetings, thankyou for making your HC review public. I read it with great interest. You worked hard to get that review.

My observation on the review is this: I am puzzled why the reviewer concludes that the personal nature of your story precludes it from publication. It is after all a personal recollection, so clearly it is self-contained and no one else's story. That is the nature of all biography and all of HC's True Life brand is it not?

I sincerely hope their comments on your story and writing style may help you to arouse interest elsewhere.

Ron Askew

The sensitivity of the mother was beautiful. Their poverty tragic as was their fear of Byron Sr. This was unbelievability good writing and raw and real and... did I say good? This was so smooth and flowed so well - your talent is obvious.
The only part I'd criticize, if I were forced to find something, would be the dialogue when Byron was lost in ch 1. It didn't seem as natural as it did everywhere else.
Oh, and I love the songs and her sayings are great.
I've read through chapter - whew those are long chapters. Great hook for the end of ch 2.
- lisa

Dear Lisa,

It was so nice of you to read & back my memoirs/testimony book. :) It was chosen on the editor's desk March 1, 2011, but my other book, "Bible Verse Songs" is 2813 from the editor's desk if you could back it for me instead. :)

You are amazing that you commented on, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not," too. :) Thank you for your encouraging words & suggestions. :) I appreciate your taking the time for me. :)

Love, Susie :)

The sensitivity of the mother was beautiful. Their poverty tragic as was their fear of Byron Sr. This was unbelievability good writing and raw and real and... did I say good? This was so smooth and flowed so well - your talent is obvious.
The only part I'd criticize, if I were forced to find something, would be the dialogue when Byron was lost in ch 1. It didn't seem as natural as it did everywhere else.
Oh, and I love the songs and her sayings are great.
I've read through chapter - whew those are long chapters. Great hook for the end of ch 2.
- lisa

did HC Publish your work?

Andrew Doyle

Dear Andrew,

Thanks so much for your help & caring. :) I am backing books in order, so I will come to yours, in case you are wondering. :)

It takes about a month for authonomy to review books after they are chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk & that's all it is - they read the 1st 10,000 words & give a review. :) Someone told me that they have only published 6 books since they started almost 3 years ago, any chances are totally slim, but I really did want the review because I have nothing else to live for & it was my last goal, because I'm so sick & I am only still going with God's strength. :) I did put my new book, "Bible Verse Songs" on because it was a snap since I had been started the list ages ago & kept adding & still am & just needed to enter them, but authonomy made me rewrite it twice & hopefully it's acceptable, but it's just the Bible verses & stanzas & not the song words - I was just trying to bless people around the world that know the songs, many since I was little, but don't know the references, so could look them up or sing from the ones I remembered. :)

Love, Susie :)

did HC Publish your work?

Andrew Doyle

I really like your story's premise and the intensity of all the trauma as well as the inspiration and motivation that emerges as a result of it. well done!

Dear Arlynn,

It's so nice of you taking the time to comment on my memoirs/testimony book, "He Loves Me." :) Thank you for your most encouraging word. :)

I put a 2nd book on authonomy 2 days ago, "Bible Songs," if you want to look at it, too. :)

I was totally blessed reading your 2 books & have gold ******-rated, read, commented on them. :)

Love, Susie :)

I really like your story's premise and the intensity of all the trauma as well as the inspiration and motivation that emerges as a result of it. well done!

Hello Susie, This is written with a great deal of courage and heart and I wish you every success with it. I have placed it on my shelf with a high star rating.
If you can find the time, I would really appreciate it if you could take a look at either of my two books. Thank you.

Phyllis
PAPER DREAMS & A PASSING STORM

Dear Phyllis,

It was so nice of you to ******, back & comment on my book, "He Loves Me" - I just put another book on, "Bible Songs" & hope you'll ****** & back it, too. :)

With pleasure I read & commented on your 1st book, "A Passing Storm" 254 days ago & just read & commented on your delightful Katie story, "Paper Dreams" & am hoping for a happy ending. :) I have also gold ******-rated both of your books. :)

Love, Susie :)

Sussie, I have read a few chapters of your book and find your story engaging and well written. Keep it up and congratulations.
Matthew Uzukwu, author of Women of Steel.

Dear Matthew,

I am so happy to hear from you & that you backed & commented on my memoirs/testimony book, "He Loves Me." :)

With pleasure, I read & commented on your heart-rending story of the southeastern Nigerian women & love that you have share it with the world :) - I had no idea anything like this happened, so I am most thankful for your sharing. :)

I have a new book, "Bible Songs How I Remember Them," if you want to ****** & back it. :) Thank you. :)

Love, Susie :)

Suzie,
I have just purchased my first copy of The Lost Monks of Avalon.....

after all the anguish, trials and tribulations, and of course some negativity from some, but not all...

http://sbpra.com/andrewdaviddoyle

Andrew David Doyle

Congrats on making the ED. If anyone deserves to have their story in print, it is you. I hope it all works out for you.

Bridget

Congratulations on being selected Susie :) best of luck to you! God Bless.
Concetta

Hello Susie, This is written with a great deal of courage and heart and I wish you every success with it. I have placed it on my shelf with a high star rating.
If you can find the time, I would really appreciate it if you could take a look at either of my two books. Thank you.

Phyllis
PAPER DREAMS & A PASSING STORM

Dear Phyllis,

Thank you so very much for taking the time for me & for gold ******-rating & backing & commenting on my memoirs/testimony book. :) Yes, I wrote my true story from my heart with a lot of emotions & prayer & with the underlying thread that God loves me in spite of myself. :)

I will be reading & commenting on your book this week & backing it when space opens on my bookshelf. :)

Love, Susie :)

As I am new to commenting on this site, I wanted to read some of the top rated books. I am sorry but I read your book to Chapter 6, and where I am sure people find the content shocking or moving, this is a writers' site. The writing is in my opinion rather poor and stilted, and is all content and no style. However, you have worked well to reach the desk. Good luck.

Dear Judge Jeffreys,

Thank you for taking the time for my true life verbatim story. :)

Love, Susie :)

As I am new to commenting on this site, I wanted to read some of the top rated books. I am sorry but I read your book to Chapter 6, and where I am sure people find the content shocking or moving, this is a writers' site. The writing is in my opinion rather poor and stilted, and is all content and no style. However, you have worked well to reach the desk. Good luck.

Hello Susie, This is written with a great deal of courage and heart and I wish you every success with it. I have placed it on my shelf with a high star rating.
If you can find the time, I would really appreciate it if you could take a look at either of my two books. Thank you.

Phyllis
PAPER DREAMS & A PASSING STORM

Sussie, I have read a few chapters of your book and find your story engaging and well written. Keep it up and congratulations.
Matthew Uzukwu, author of Women of Steel.

I have read a few chapters and find the story engaging and well written. Congratulations.
Matthew.

Congratulations, Susie, you're amazing. You've told your story from the heart, like everything else you say and do, have persisted and won over the whole community. And, thanks for being into Revolution or Extinction. Mark Lee Krangle

I only read the first three chapters of books on this site as there are so many to comment on.

You write good dialog and that the characters speak with their own voice; that the prose is well structured.

However, I found that you repeated and over used certain words. For example, you use the word 'Shack' three times the first paragraph and a half and over use such phrases as 'he answered' and 'he said'.

Pace felt a little quick. I was looking for more description and a little more 'show' than 'tell' ; some space for the characters to breathe also

Also, like many books on here after three chapters I should have a sense of the story and I don't. You are obviously talented with a concise style but this should serve the story/narrative which is central.

There's a good book in here but it needs puffing up and editing a little.

Good luck

Dear R.J.,

I am so happy to hear from you & that you commented on my memoirs/testimony book :) - if you backed it, it didn't come through - could you please try again because I have been trying for almost a year to be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk & was #4 on 1-1-11, but 2 people passed me, pushing me out to #6, so I didn't get chosen January 31 - I am now #1 & need a lot of backings to anchor me in so that I don't slide out again & so that I can be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk February 28. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your help. :)

With pleasure, I spent a long time reading & commenting on your adventurous Jacob & Angelika story. :) I hope you will write many more exciting books. :)

I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs/testimony book in return? :)

It was so very nice of you to take the time for me & to send me all of your feedback :) - I really appreciate it :) - I think I have an editor & publisher, now, because I am so very ill to do anything on it, as you probably read on my profile page & my last goal in life is to be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk. :)

I would really appreciate your help. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. every ******-ing moves our books up authonomy's lists, as does backing more than 24 hours & the longer on our bookshelves, the more they move up, per authonomy's new rules 2010 :) - on your profile page in "my news," click on author's name & when their profile page comes up, scroll down & click on their book cover or title & their book will come up & over to the right is "my rating" with 6 silver ******-s under & if your click the far right *, they will all turn gold, then, click on "back the book"

Your story is one of sorrow but I can see that through your love of God you have grown as a person. Your book will definitely make the editor's desk and I will back this book until you succeed. Thank you for commenting on my book also. I look forward to more of your work, and hope that you book will be published :)

Dear Andrew,

I am so happy to hear from you & that you commented on & backed my memoirs/testimony book :) - you're wonderful to keep it on your shelf to help me. :)

With pleasure, I read & commented on your honest-to-God view of the world. :) You make me smile. :)

I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs/testimony book, too? :)

Thank you so much very much for taking the time for me & for your encouraging me in the Lord. :) Yes, a lot of tears went into my true story with underlying thread that God loves me in spite of myself :) - he loves much who is forgiven much. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. try to get another fast moving green arrow book in your open space of your shelf so that your book will move even faster to the editor's desk - don't choose red arrows or they'll bring you down - unless, of course, mine gets a red arrow - I'll be screaming, "help!!" & be able to be heard all the way to China :)

I love the way Susie hits the reader straight between the eyes: Yes! I got raped! Was that the price of dinner? (Chp15). A story that might exhaust more delicate readers with its relentless energy and drama.

Dear Phil,

It is so nice of you to comment on my memoirs/testimony book. :) It was extremely traumatic to write my true story, which I wrote in 1997 & then kept re-writing & lots more emotions each time, through a lot of writing seminars & writing classes until I finally finished a year ago & got it on authonomy. :) I'm so glad that I have not given up when I'm so ill & am finally from of 6000 away from the editor's desk to #1 & I'll happier if I can stay in the top 5 to be chosen February 28. :) It's from my reading & commenting on thousands of books when it's hard to even sit here, but God helped me & I've almost made it, hopefully. :)

Thank you for taking the time for me & for giving me such high encouraging words. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. Why not try to add 3 fast moving green arrow books onto your bookshelf, so you'll go from #4045 red arrow to green arrows & to #1 :) - I've seen within a month, like Malika who is on my bookshelf :) - she was #1083 on 2-2-11 &is now #28, only 24 days later. :)

"She rushed about in a dither!"

I fell into this story right away and felt comfortable with the narrator until this sentence struck me as one that foreshadowed chattiness, maybe, or some form of excess over economy. Just a little flare went up in my mind, that's all. But it made me realize that anyone reading your story to the end must make a commitment. You require that of a reader and that kind of confidence is hard to turn away from. But the end of your life story is a long way off and before I commit to reading about you from the time you were born, maybe you could ease me into the tale with a little introduction. It's just my initial feeling that your narrator is wound up tighter than Dick's hatband and trying hard not to sound other than spontaneous. That pitch-perfect volubility may prove difficult to sustain. I think it's all a matter of striking the right tone and then modulating the pacing. If it gets too frantic to read out loud, it's going too fast. That's true for me, anyway. I'm no expert at pacing. But I've not yet committed to reading your whole life story. I am reading on, however. With pleasure.

"He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" is a treasure. I finished chapter 2, and will continue as time permits. I'm hooked.
Gregg Granger - Author of Sailing Faith: The Long Way Home

In honoring your request to read your work, I will admit you've created quite the controversy and publicity, so your promotional skills are par excellence. In reading the work, your locales are interesting, your characters came through, but here are my key points of contention:

See if you can't recraft some of your prose to get out of passive voice. This was/were for everything tends to jump out and slow things down in the worst way. We're competing with Internet, movies and television for the collective attention of an audience, and we're losing precisely because too many writers are unwilling to let go of, or recraft, a slowed-down voice that, while seemingly natural, can really get a reader to put down a book.

Point Two: Overdone Dialogue. Exclamation points after everything stands out and dissuades a reader from continuing. One of the big abilities in mastering dialogue comes from being able to convey tone and mood from word choice. This is simply a practiced skill that arrives from a cognizance that it has to be mastered.

Point Three: a tendency to describe dialogue as it happens is another sign the author feels a weakness is conveying tone and mood through dialogue, and readers do pick up on this. He exclaimed, she sang -- more precise verbs are fantastic for general narrative, but offering this variety of desriptive verbs after nearly every line of dialogue can grow trite.

Point Four: First Person Voice and Its Pitfalls: It took me a bit to catch onto the first person voice, but it comes across even after presenting what seems a third person omniscient voice. First person is one of those points of view that many beginning writers feel frees them to express any string of drivel in any amount they wish with any words that pop off the tops of their heads. This is untrue. In The Sound and the Fury, Faulkner uses first person to highlight unique voices and tell his story in the way a third person narrator could never possibly do, heightening the art of what he did and creating a new paradigm in literature art in several ways. It seems if something could be told in third person, do it; if it must be in first person, the voice must be unique enough to move the story in a direction and lend dimension it ordinarily would not have. Moreover, when writing with this unique voice in first person, the writing still has to be clean and move forward in some measurable degree; first person does not provide justification for stream-of-consciousness without defined storyline. This mistake is most commonly committed by a reader largely uninitiated in the subtle nuance of literary work who cannot spot the elements that make it noteworthy.

Otherwise, you have a genuine piece of work here, formatted like a real book, that tells a story. Good luck to you.

I only read the first three chapters of books on this site as there are so many to comment on.

You write good dialog and that the characters speak with their own voice; that the prose is well structured.

However, I found that you repeated and over used certain words. For example, you use the word 'Shack' three times the first paragraph and a half and over use such phrases as 'he answered' and 'he said'.

Pace felt a little quick. I was looking for more description and a little more 'show' than 'tell' ; some space for the characters to breathe also

Also, like many books on here after three chapters I should have a sense of the story and I don't. You are obviously talented with a concise style but this should serve the story/narrative which is central.

There's a good book in here but it needs puffing up and editing a little.

Good luck

Your story is one of sorrow but I can see that through your love of God you have grown as a person. Your book will definitely make the editor's desk and I will back this book until you succeed. Thank you for commenting on my book also. I look forward to more of your work, and hope that you book will be published :)

Hi SuzieQ,

Four more days, then all that hard work will be rewarded. Editor's desk here you come!

John (Jnortonpa)

O, I love you, John. :) You made me laugh. :) I'm still smiling ear to ear. :) Yes, 3 day & 20 hours. :) I'm still not going to be presumptuous & kill myself keep on keeping on. :) If you read my updated profile page, I was sure I was going to die yesterday & got so sad I'd not live to Feb. 28 to see if I'd be chosen, but God was merciful & I'm still here & still symptoms, but not as bad :) - but God is my joy. :) PLUS JOHN :) - YOU'RE THE GREATEST. :) You're going to have a kazillion stars in your crown. :)

Love, Susie :)

Hi SuzieQ,

Four more days, then all that hard work will be rewarded. Editor's desk here you come!

John (Jnortonpa)

I've only been through the first few chapters. WOW! My heart is aching! Abuse was not recognized back in the days. I can't wait to dive in and read more. This weekend I will be reading "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." Thanks Susie Gullick for sharing this with us.

Melisa
"Twenty Weeks"

Hello! I found your book and have begun reading it. I have placed it on my book shelf also

I love the way Susie hits the reader straight between the eyes: Yes! I got raped! Was that the price of dinner? (Chp15). A story that might exhaust more delicate readers with its relentless energy and drama.

Always good to see someone who can stay positive despite the many stumblingblocks in their past. Glad to see what you have overcome as it shows me the power of God. Stay Positive Susie!

Dear Benjamin,

I am so happy to hear from you & that you gold ******-rated, backed, & commented on my memoirs/testimony book :) - could you please keep my book on your bookshelf to help me, after my trying for almost a year to be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk? :) I was #4 on 1-1-11 & 2 people passed me up, pushing me out to #6, so I didn't get chosen in the top 5 January 31 - I am now #1 & need lots of backings to hold me in so that I don't slide out again & so that I will be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk February 28 which is 5 days from now. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your help. :)

With pleasure, I gold ******-rated, read, & commented on your realistic antichrist story :) - just hope I'm not around for it. :) Totally timely because our Joyful Life Women's Bible study at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa California is studying Revelation & also I've read the New Testament much more than 200 xs & get more each time. :)

It was so nice of you to take the time for me & to encourage me in the Lord & I have ever only been told that I was "special" once before in my life & that was about 30 years ago :) - I have always done my best & my boss told me one day, "you're special" & now you have. :) It makes it feel all worthwhile, even though I know my rewards are from the Lord. :) Anyway, you sure made my day, week, years, even!! :) Yes, with God's love & strength, I'm still going with my eye on Him to hold me up :) - I guess you've read my profile page. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. every ******-ing moves our books up authonomy's lists, as does backing more than 24 hours & the longer on our bookshelves, the more they move up, per authonomy's new rules :)

Always good to see someone who can stay positive despite the many stumblingblocks in their past. Glad to see what you have overcome as it shows me the power of God. Stay Positive Susie!

Hi Susie, hope it doesn't seem to soon to say congrats!! So glad to see that you are accomplishing your goal. I had your book up all month and just recently took it down, as I feel you are now a shoe in to the ED. Prayers are still with you from my heart concerning all of your present trials. Continue to live, and not die!! God is able to perform all things through christ who strenghtens us....

Dear Danielle,

It is so nice of you to have kept my memoirs/testimony book on your bookshelf for so long. :) I need your backing more than ever to anchor me into the top 5 of the editor's desk so that I don't slide out again the way I did last month - I was #4 on 1-1-11 & 2 people passed me, pushing me out to #6, so I didn't get chosen January 31 - now I'm #1 & need lots of backing to hold me in so that I don't go out of the top 5 & so that I can be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk February. :) It's crucial - Jim who got chosen last month, it happened to him in December & he finally got chosen. :) Please help me :) - it's only 5 more days. :) I would be ever so grateful. :)

Love, Susie :)

Hi Susie, hope it doesn't seem to soon to say congrats!! So glad to see that you are accomplishing your goal. I had your book up all month and just recently took it down, as I feel you are now a shoe in to the ED. Prayers are still with you from my heart concerning all of your present trials. Continue to live, and not die!! God is able to perform all things through christ who strenghtens us....

So I really like this, and I'm happy to back it and rate it.

Daddy didn't seem abusive when he was showing them around the property, although his behaviour did drop some subtle hints that I wouldn't have picked up on if I wasn't looking for them. But I know how appearances can be deceiving. I was left wondering what he's like in his more violent moods, and you satisfied that wonder with the anecdote about the electric fence. It's good to make the reader ask such questions and then partially answer them.

I enjoyed reading the childhood history of the kids, and I though it was structured well. Kids took pleasure in such simple things back then! The section made me more emotionally attached to the kids, and I can sense that the rest of the story is going to play on that attachment.

I thought the last line of the first chapter was a little bit corny. Maybe a “little did we know...” type of line would be better.

The first line of the second chapter hit me in the face like “....what?” It actually made me read a bit faster. Twisted stuff. And sad things just keep happening, but there is happiness too. Your characters feel very real, and the things that happen are believable.

Your style is terse. I'm usually a fan of heavy description, but in the case of this story, your style works well. You cover a lot of time in a few words, and I wonder if the story will slow down at all later on.

Dear Rand,

It is so nice of you to back & comment on my memoirs/testimony book :) - could you please keep it on your bookshelf to help me, after my trying for almost a year to be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk? :) I was #4 on 1-1-11, but 2 people passed me up, pushing me out to #6, so I wasn't chosen January 31 - I am now #1 & need lots of backings to anchor me in so that I don't slide again & so that I will be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk February 28. :) Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your help. :)

I love your Lyria's tenacity & each of your characters had their own personality, so I see what you are saying about character traits in your feedback on my story. :) I just wrote my true story from my heart with a lot of emotions & prayer & with the underlying thread that God loves me in spite of myself & my bad choices. :)

Thanks again for taking the time for me & for all of your encouraging words. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. every ******-ing moves our books up authonomy's lists, as does backing more than 24 hours & the longer on our bookshelves, the more they move up, per authonomy's new rules Oct 2010 :)