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rank  Editors Pick
word count 132564
date submitted 05.03.2010
date updated 28.02.2011
genres: Romance, Non-fiction, Biography, Ch...
classification: universal
complete

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not -Bk I&II Tell Me True Love Stories Memoir

Susie Gulick

Memoir: Vulnerable. Love. Tragedies. Incest. Poverty. Survival. Lupus. Zero-seventy, breaking all Ten Commandments. Six marriages. Verbal and physical abuse from husbands. Testimony. God's love/agape.

 

Why have I always been physically and verbally abused, and unappreciated when I've always bent over backward to be a good wife, giving love anyway?

With God's help, I've weathered tragedies.

Incest on my father's side, still! My father molested my older sister since she was a baby, raped her from age five, threatening death to her and family, if she told - in 1947, told at age eleven. He was imprisoned. Raped her lots 1970 until my twin brother threatened him.

Granny raped by her father, so Mama and her brother were born. Granny castrated her father after he raped Mama when she was fifteen, birthed a son, put up for adoption, a secret until Mama was dying of cancer at age seventy-three, searched, found him, then told us six siblings.

My adventures. Sadnesses. Joys.

At age eleven, found my younger sister drowned.

When tiny, my Sunday School teacher prayed with me to ask Jesus to forgive my sins and come into my heart, so He has been there since then.

My quest for my true love, to be married "happily ever after" to my "Knight in Shining Armor," with He Love Me, He Loves Me Not always happening!

 
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abuse, adoption, anemea, anger, autobiograpy, baptist, bible, california, calvary, cancer, chico, christian, chronic-fatigue, commandments, crushes, d...

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Run Away From Home?

     “You can share my apartment with me and my roommate,” the cute guy who was servicing our copy machine where I worked invited me.  “Orange County has higher wages than Los Angeles County,” he assured me.

     Should I run away from home?

     Bobby came to live with me after Mama died.  Another guy was sleeping on our floor in our front room that Kathy and Danny had met at the Ninja studio where they were taking lessons once a week from Frank Dux.

     “Please, Mommy, please!” Kathy and Danny had begged when Pat kicked Walt out of her house until he got off of alcohol and brought home a paycheck.  Walt had gone into the Veteran’s Administration Hospital for a month to detox.  Then, V.A. found him an accounting job, and he had no place to stay until he got his first paycheck.  And I was still working two jobs.

     “Why should I let your Dad stay with us, when he owes me $15,000.00 in child support?” I asked Kathy and Danny in indignation.  “He has his nerve!” I added.

     Of course, you know my decision.  How could I turn him down?  So, he stayed with us until he got his first paycheck.  Then, back to Pat he went.  AND Walt is still off of alcohol and is still working!  But, I never got a penny child support.

     Kathy had returned from Cambridge after a semester as an exchange student through Pasadena Junior College.  Danny was a senior in high school.  It was February 1990.

     “It’s time for you to move in with your Dad and Pat,” I told Kathy and Danny.  “Your Dad and Pat have been married a while and he owes me $15,000.00 in child support because he quit his job when I attached his wages,” I added.  “Pat owns her house and you have gone there every weekend for your Dad’s court-ordered visiting privileges.  I’m moving to Orange County to make more money to pay off my $30,000.00 debt that I have incurred in getting you both through Christian School.  I got you your own cars.  For your whole lives, I have always made sure that you each have had your own bedrooms,” I continued.  “I got a new job in Seal Beach and my ATM second job is transferring me from San Gabriel Valley to Orange County.  A guy that services our copy machine at work is going to let me stay with him and his roommate in Huntington Beach.  I’ll pay a third of the rent.

     Do you think Kathy and Danny were happy with my decision?

     Danny had four more months to finish his senior year in high school.  I later found out that he was sleeping in his car in front of his boyfriend’s house.  He dropped out of school six weeks before graduation and got a job at Blockbuster.  No way was he going to stay under Walt and Pat’s strict rules!  He did end up getting his GED high school diploma and finally his Bachelor’s Degree.

     Kathy moved into the Frank Dux Ninja studio in San Fernando Valley where her boyfriend was living and was with him for eleven years.  She didn’t want to be ruled by her dad and step-mother, either!

     “Why won’t you have sex with me?” my friend that I had moved in with in Orange County kept propositioning me.

     “I won’t have sex unless I’m married,” I would reply.  “I want God to bless me and I want to please God.”  I had started attending Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa because my pastor that I had had for fifteen years in San Dimas was Pastor Chuck’s colleague.

     “You’re out of here,” my roommate finally confronted me, “if you don’t have sex with me!”

     “I’ll find a room to rent!” I retorted.  AND I DID!

     “I’m coming down to see you,” Steve from my ex-job told me on the phone at my new work. “I’ll be there right after work.”

     “You need to stay with your wife!  That was YOUR decision!” I reminded him.  That was his favorite line.  Enough was enough!

     “I’ve made a terrible mistake in letting you go,” he begged.  “Please let me come to see you!”

     “Okay!” I accepted.  This was like a replay of “Jack Go Back,” except that it was Steve that had been trying to make his life-long bad marriage work.  Why should he give up, now?  And that was exactly what I told him when he came down to Seal Beach to see me at work.  So, he sadly went home, just like I sadly sent Jack back to San Francisco!

     Tearful!

     Stuck!

     Can’t anyone ever be happy?
 
     The first week that I was in Orange County, I worked 117 hours.  That was 80 at my first job which included weekends.  My second job was 37 hours servicing ATMs 6 p.m. to midnight seven days a week, of which I got $10.00 for each call.  Going to bed at about 1 a.m. or 2 a.m. and getting up 5 a.m. or 6 a.m. was NOT good!  I would go to sleep driving between ATM repairs and caffeine didn’t help a bit.

     After being threatened to be thrown out on the street, this nice guy that was a copy machine tech, that had invited me to move to Orange County to live with him and his roommate, was calling me and begging me on the phone, a couple of weeks later.  He said that he had made a terrible mistake and wanted to marry me.  Too late!  Any feelings I had for him were already out the window!

     So, I ran away from San Gabriel Valley to Orange County.

     Were all my problems solved?

     Needless to say, in 1990 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Epstein-Barr, a lot of other viruses, and all of the different types of arthritis, a nodule and a growth on my thyroid, plus GERD and intestinal problems, and TMJ which is a jaw/teeth bite pain.  I had already been getting bronchitis every year since I had smoked and annually was diagnosed with walking pneumonia.

     “You have to have a hysterectomy,” my OB/GYN, doctor said in December 1990. “You have fibroid tumors on your uterus and it’s almost collapsed.  I will do an out-patient exploratory laparoscopy to find out the extent of the required surgery which will be done vaginally three weeks after that.”

     “My fever is over 104 degrees,” I told the doctor on the phone, the next day.  I had driven myself to and from the outpatient surgery which was under general anesthesia.  They had made me wait several hours before I could drive home.

     “Go to emergency and I will see you there,” he instructed me.

      So, I drove to ER.

     “You’ll have to be here at least a week until you get rid of the fever and recover your strength,” my doctor told me after a lot of tests.  “You body is worn out, so you need complete rest.”  They had put me on four different antibiotics, round the clock.  They found out that I was allergic to morphine when I threw up after the injection in ER.

     “I have to get back to work,” I begged my doctor.  “I have a huge debt!”

     “If you die,” you won’t have to worry about it,” was his comeback.

     “How can my body be worn out when I’m only fifty-one years old?” I asked him.

      “If you don’t give your body enough sleep every night, it’s going to wear out,” he retorted, like, “duh!”  End of conversation!

     When I finally got out of the hospital, I drove straight to work.  I was paying a million dollars a week for the company that I was working for and they needed me.  Temps had been doing my job and botched it royally.  Since I was doing three peoples’ jobs – overworked to say the least, it took several temps to do my job the week that I was in the hospital.

     “I still have to find a husband,” I told Marilyn on the phone.  “One that I can spend the rest of my life with!”

     “Well, I just got my third husband and he treats me like a princess and does anything I want,” she bragged.  “What a jewel he is!  Brucie is SO nice to me!”

     “Lord,” I would cry and beg God every night, when I was going to sleep, “please give me a husband, so that I don’t have to go to sleep by myself every night.  I need one who really loves me and that I really love!”

     “My name is ‘Susie,’” I said at the church singles’ intercessors prayer group to a tall guy with blond hair and blue eyes.

     “I’m Alan,” he said, as he shook my hand, so cordially.  When the prayer meeting was over, we talked for hours at a restaurant he had invited me to.  I was so impressed that he knew the Bible backward and forward.

     “I recorded the whole Bible, as I read it onto cassette tapes,” he informed me.

     “That’s very impressive,” I complimented him.  “I read the book, ‘The Robe’ onto cassette tapes,” I bragged.  “It took ten ninety minute tapes!”

     “I can’t believe we have so much in common,” he marveled.

     “Including, two divorces!” I rejoined and frowned.  My third and fourth marriages had been annulled, so they didn’t count, I reasoned to myself.

     “Goodnight,” he said and gave me a short kiss, which was nice, after he had taken me back to my car at the church.  “Can I see you, again?” He asked.  I nodded and gave him my phone number.  He gave me another kiss and hug.

     “Something to sleep on,” I smiled at him and said, as I left his arms.  It was hard for either one of us to let go.  I got into my car and drove away.

     We decided to marry almost instantly!

     We had the most ornate wedding ever!  It was at Valley Christian Center in San Dimas, where I had attended for fifteen years!

     I was so beautiful and so happy in my daughter’s satin pastel rainbow colored high school formal.  I still have the photo with my happy smile.  My best photo ever!

     “This is the happiest day of my life,” I told Kathy, who was my Maid of Honor.  “We will live happily ever after!  Our week long honeymoon in Hawaii will be like a dream!”

     Alan and I were so in love, that we even had sex in the airplane’s small bathroom.

     It was the next day when Alan showed his true colors.  Every expletive that he could call me came out of his mouth when I wanted to go on a tour of the island.

     “A woman is not to make ANY suggestions or decisions,” was his premise, as he shoved me.

     “Shut up!” Alan yelled with expletives a week later, after our return from our honeymoon.  We had gone to bed and I was trying to go sleep, but he was trying to pick a fight.  He jerked my pillow from under my head and pushed it onto my head into my waterbed.  Being a “tummy” baby, I was on lying face down.

     I struggled to get my head from under the pillow.  Since I was wiry, I finally wiggled from under it and started to scream.  I was renting my room from Noreen, so I knew she could hear me since our door was right across from hers.

     “Shut up!” Alan hollered with more vulgarity.

     “Whop!” he hit me in the head which stunned me for a few moments.  Then, I started to scream again, as I tried to reach for the phone.  Again, he hit my head, as I tried to crawl out of the bed, still screaming.  Finally, I was out.  I grabbed the phone and dialed “O” and gave the operator my information.  She connected me to the police department.  While I was waiting, I laid the phone down and rushed to open my door.  Noreen was standing in her doorway.  She was ashen and her slim figure trembled in her white long gown.

     “Are you okay?” she asked.  I nodded as tears flowed down my face.  I ran back to the phone and gave my information.

     “Stay on the line,” the police department said.  “Officers are on the way.”

     “Hang up!” Alan demanded.  “I’m leaving!”

     Should I?  I had never called the police on Walt all of those fifteen plus years that he had hurt me.  Why now?

     “You’re not going to get away with hurting me!” I asserted and stayed on the line.

     By the time Alan was out the door, the police department said in my ear on the phone, “Does he have a green Audi?”

     “Yes!” I voiced in exhilaration.

     “The officers have him,” came the voice on the phone.  “They will lock him in the police car and come to your door to make a report.”

     “An officer will come here and take pictures of your face, ear, and head tomorrow,” one of the officers informed me.  “Is that okay?”

     “Yes,” I nodded.  I had shown them where Alan had hit me in the head twice, as they made their report.

     “I am ordered to six months men’s group therapy by the judge,” Alan told me on the phone after his court hearing.  “Why don’t we try to make it work?  There’s a women’s group therapy that you can go to.”

     “Maybe there is hope,” I responded, but was still leery.

     “Help me!  Help me!” I screeched, as I tried to move over on the freeway to the side of the highway.  Alan had grabbed me with his huge right hand on my collarbone and his other hand on the back of my neck and had lifted me up out of my car seat while I was driving.  It was evening and we were on our way home from a mental health meeting we had gone to.  I had rolled down my window and was honking my horn because he was shaking me.

     “Shut up!” he was hollering with his profanities.

     When I finally got to a halt on the shoulder of the 405, Alan jumped out of the car and ran off.  I haven’t talked to him since.

     “Stay away from him,” my pastor told me.  “I married him twenty years ago and again five years later.  He tried to kill both of his wives!”

     “Alan has a terrible temper and a police record!  He almost killed his three ex-wives!  Ask Pastor Chuck!” I wrote on a note and sent it with my friend to the woman Alan had brought to church a few months later and I had seen them walk in.  I hope she heeded my warning!

     “You need to go into the mental hospital,” the women’s group therapy leader told me, “so that you can find out why you keep picking abusive husbands.”

     So I did!  For a week!  Then, I went for three weeks outpatient during my lunch hour.  The women were all doped up and victims of abuse when I was in the hospital.  It was like being in Hell.  This was a Christian facility, so I was able to pray with some of them.

     What did I learn?  One lady in my group said, “Your picker is broken!”  That about sums it up!  The guys are always nice, whether it is three-and-a-half years going together before marriage like I did with Walt, or one week, like with Chuck.  How am I to know they will be verbally and physically abusive after the marriage?  I just made bad choices!!

     So, after one year, I filed for an annulment with Alan.  I now had two divorces and three annulments!

     Did I give up on relationships?  1992 will tell.

     After all of the tragic marriages, wouldn’t I be better off not married, especially since I am unable to discern if the guys that I’m interested in are abusive/or will be abusive after marriage?

     “Hi, I’m Norm, a really cute personable blond hair, blue-eyed guy said to me as he gave me a big smile & shook my hand at a church Singles’ house party on February 25, 1992.

     “I’m Susie,” I responded with excitement, since he was so nice and seemed interested in me.  There went my resolutions to not get involved anymore.  He and the other fifty single people heard me introduce myself, as we took turns around the huge room and told everyone a little about ourselves.  Entering the front door, there was a huge entry way, the kitchen on the right, with a very wide opening into the dining room, and on into the living room, so it was a long big oblong room with even a piano for our praise time.  I sat at the far end of the room to the right of the fireplace.  Each person introduced themselves and had their own story, mostly of tragedy.  I was afraid to say my problem.

     “I met a guy at the Singles intercessors’ prayer group.  He was verbally and physically abusive and tried to kill me after we got married, so we’re separated,” was my dissertation.

     “All men aren’t bad!” Norm had tried to assure me after the meeting was over and we were out on the patio for refreshments.  There was a nice cool breeze of a warm evening with tables lined up of all types of foods and drinks, like there was going to be a big feast.  It seemed like everyone was ravenous.  The spread was delicious.  Each person had brought food or soda, so it was an ornate snack-time.

     “You can’t prove it by me, Norm,” I responded to his defense of men, “since I’ve had five abusive marriages.” I rejoined.

     “Mark my word, there are a lot of nice Godly guys that love Jesus and aren’t mean,” Norm assured me.  “You’ve just had your run of bad luck.”  I was in love again already – with Norm.  He was SO nice!

     “You make me feel so understood and act like you care that I’ve been hurt so many times, Norm,” I praised him.  “How come there aren’t more sensitive men like you?  He was playful and had a light air, as if he hadn’t a care in the world!

     “We are not all bad!” was his comeback. I wanted to say, “Can I marry you?  I want a nice guy that will treat me right,” but chickened out.  I sure liked Norm, though.  He would be the perfect husband, if he was all he was saying he was.  I soon found out that he was just trying to encourage me, because he went right over to a girl that he hung out with the whole rest of the snack time, like falling all over her.  He later told me that he liked her, but would really like to be my friend.  Same old story!  One-way crush!  Love triangle for sure because she didn’t seem that much crazy about him.

     “I’m Eve,” a girl said to me, when we had had our meeting earlier and she had sat down beside me.  Eve is still my lifelong friend.

     A lot of people talked with me and encouraged me and prayed with me that evening.  Life seemed brighter by the time I left.  These were all my new friends.  I liked that we all hugged each other when we arrived and left.  This was at every meeting, no matter where it was!  It was like one big happy family.

    “I’m Tom,” one guy told me.  “I like Gail, way down at the other end of the room that has that baby.  She’s trying to adopt it.  She broke up with me.”  Later, I found out that they were having an affair and that she had broken up with Tom because they weren’t married and he had talked her into believing it was okay to have sex before marriage.  Tom was trying to like Karen, now and had loaned her a CD, so went and talked with her during the snack time.  He had sat a couple of seats away from Karen during the meeting.

     “I help set up the chairs every Friday night,” Norm told me, “so I’ll get there an hour before the Singles’ meeting at the church in the Fellowship Hall.  It packs out with over 300 people.”

     My clue!  Right?

     “I’ll come and help, okay?” I asked Norm.  “I can pray over each chair.”

     “I can, too,” Eve offered.  There was a guy with Norm that I could tell that she had her eye on for a boyfriend.  She watched his every move.

     “Let’s go to Coco’s,” Norm suggested after the next Singles’ Friday meeting and refreshment time.  So, we all drove over there and laughed and talked and had a wonderful time until we closed the place down.  We had a “clique” of about twenty men and women, with mostly love triangles.  Some were one-way crushes/unrequited love, as some call it.  Everyone was seeking someone to spend the rest of their lives with.  There was one girl who had attended for fifteen years and had never found her “perfect” guy.  Quite sad, huh?  Later, I heard someone call the Singles’ group a “meat locker,” because some guys were preying on the women.  One of my new friends was a nurse.  She went out with a guy and that’s all he wanted was sex.  He was cute and she was so bummed because she was living to please Jesus.

     Another new girlfriend had gotten talked into sex by a guy she really liked, so accepted a job down the coast and moved there, running away from the situation.  He had wanted to marry her, but she felt tainted.  He ended up marrying someone else.  Tom had been interested in that girl that fled, too.

     Pat, Tom’s best friend that he worked with, had invited him to our Singles group a few months earlier.  Pat met a girl at Singles, they fell in love, and they are still married.  About twenty couples had married within a two year period in the over 300 that met every Friday night.

     On Sunday, at the church meetings, we all sat together, and also Sunday and Wednesday nights.  I always made sure I got by Norm.  Why couldn’t he get a crush on me, like I had on him and forget that other girl?

     No matter where Tom sat, he always came all of the way across the room, seeking me out and hugging me the way Daddy did?  He was German, too, with his infamous bear hugs.  He was build like Daddy, too.

     Norm had a potluck at his house for our “click.”  Everyone, as always, was in high spirits and Norm was the life of the party.  “Playful” spirit was his attitude.

      During the course of the evening, he put some CD oldies on.  I saw Tom dancing with another girl.  He was a perfect dancer.

     “Let’s dance,” I invited when he had finished dancing with her.

     “I took dance lessons, so I have to count,” he informed in-between counts. I loved how he danced.  He knew how to do the swing and twirl me and all of the fun steps.  He stole my heart that night.  I was in heaven, floating on a cloud.  Bliss!

     So, what else would happen in 1992?

 

 

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HarperCollins Wrote

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not is a tour de force of a memoir. It’s the powerful story of a girl called Myra who is born into a violent home – a world filled with incest, paedophilia and violence.

Gulick opens her story with a surreal, dreamlike sequence of a mother in labour on an icy lake. The story’s beginning, set before Myra’s earliest memories, has the feeling of a myth, slightly removed from reality. It’s the strange, dark prehistory of Myra’s life and a vivid opening to the book.

As the narrative of Myra’s life progresses, the author skilfully adapts her writing to match. The dark, surreal language of the pre-life era morphs imperceptibly into the sunny, childlike prose of Myra’s early years. In later years this becomes a clear, matter-of-fact style, occasionally harsh and grating, reflecting Myra’s adult life and the new hardships she faces. This is exceptional writing.

Myra’s upbringing is a compelling mix of sweet and sour. Her cheerfulness – which is only matched by the cheerfulness of her mother and siblings – coexists with the dark side of her heritage. Generations of incest, violence, paedophilia and infant mortality lie hidden beneath every idyllic sunny day. These elements threaten to explode at every twist of the tale – and sometimes do, with dark consequences.

The strength of this story is Susie’s likeability and strength. She inherits this, it seems, from generations of strong women before her, and passes it on to her children in the same way. It’s satisfying to see the dark past linked intensely and movingly with the present.

However, the deeply personal, self-contained nature of this story means it will not be taken under consideration for publication at this time.

Although the story is highly readable and genuinely endearing, this is Susie’s personal story. It can never be anyone else’s. For this reason, sadly, we will have to pass on it. But this should not, under any circumstances, put a damper on Susie’s writing, which is graceful, heart-warming and unique.

SusieGulick wrote 1248 days ago

I've begun reading Susie Guilick's "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not - Book I. Don't let the itemized list of tragedies in the pitch discourage you. Pitches are tough to write, especially for a modest author - simple advice to authors, avoid lists in the pitch. This is true for Susie Guilick, especially as the narrative in her memoir immediately transports readers to a wholly different mindset. The author's writing style is clean and engaging, and most important, accessible to readers across a spectrum of ages.

The memoir leans heavily on terrible events, which batter the lives of the characters. A reader wonders if everything in the memoir can be true. Realistically, the trials are all packed into a full, if not pleasant life. The challenges are like Job's labors and coping with them layer a Christian theme on the memoir. At first, I was a dissuaded by the emphasis on the love for Jesus, but again, the narrative is much deeper and the proclamation is necessary, for the sake of sanity and humanity in this memoir. Susie Guilick is a wonderful storyteller. The author catches the attention of the reader and holds it with a pattern of emotional "highs" and "lows."

Matthew Sawyer - author of the Pazuzu Trilogy
November, 2010



Dear Matthew,

I am so happy to hear from you & that you commented on my book. :) I notice that you have no books on your shelf. To back books: In "my news," click on author's name which will bring up their profile page, on which you scroll down & click on their book cover & title, which will bring up their book. :) Over to the right, you'll see ******-rating, so click on the right star & then click on "read the book" which will bring it to your bookshelf & you will see it. :) On top left of your screen, click "me" & it will bring you back to where you started. :) Let me know if I can help more. :)

With pleasure, I read, commented on, ******-rated, & put your book on watchlist, to back when space opens on my bookshelf. :)

I am totally amazed at your beautiful heartfelt review of my story which I wrote from my heart with a lot of crying, feelings, & prayer & the underlying message that God loves me in spite of myself & my bad choices. :)

Thank you so very much for taking all of the time for me & for your encouraging word & feedback. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. hope you ******-rated my book :) - every ******-ing & backing moves our books closer to the editor's desk :)

Hunter A wrote 1307 days ago

This particular quick review will not address editing, the nature of foreshadowing used at the end of each chapter or the use of capitalizations for emphasis (after all, who am I to say?).
He Love Me, He Loves Me Not--a Memior by Susie Gulick
This work of 134,000 plus words is a remarkable piece of work in my view for a number of reasons. First, it is mostly done in dialog--it is astounding recall by the author, it quickly brings the reader into hard human life in America--so hard, and it is non-stop. I question whether I can possibly do it justice. The answer is that I cannot, however, I will attempt to capture the book(s) as best that I can.
It is a story of human life, human tragedy, human mistakes and inhuman people close to her. It is a story of one's search for joy against a stereotype perhaps formed early in life out of neccessity--I will not decipher this element any more than that. It was as if every time there was a little bit of happiness or joy for the children early in the memoir, something terrible would rise up to claim it away. For me it was a study of a family who had virtually nothing in the forties and fifties but most somehow managed to survive and at least grow into better physical surroundings--but emotionally were being injured on meeting new people (or employers) and the pain although a different kind, did not stop. The sixties in my view is a glimpse into the so-called sexual revolution many people participated in I suppose, and the author relates the era in such a way that many of us may interpret as cold and best forgotten.
Toward the eighties, nineties and through today, the reader can feel the history of this person and how it still affects her--when inhuman actions are taken against another, there are always lasting effects and I sense that here. It is a labor intensive work and I admire the author for sticking to it. It is easy to cry in chapter one and nurse a headache for the confused actions being revealed in later chapters.
I highly recommend the book. My preference would be to combine it all into one and use the richness of the prose in book two in one title--but that's just me and again, I am hardly qualified to fully appreciate the all this author has given us--she does give us everything.

Hunter Ayers
September, 2010

SusieGulick wrote 1355 days ago

To Suzie Q

Firstly can I apologise for my late response to you and a considerable number of other Authonomy writers. Unfortunately - when duty calls and all that jazz1
I'm truly bowled over by your comments on my book, The Contractor. To have you describe it as the 'best one on Authonomy' gives my confidence a terrific boost and I'm sure you can understand the need for confidence. I'm planning a sequel to The Contractor which is where confidence is needed as I'm finding it even more difficult to write than The Contractor. Here's me thinking it would be easier. The Contractor has taken me over two years and I know I have a load of work yet to do..

For someone only 5' tall, you sure pack a real punch with your writing lady. I'm going to admit to something on paper that I would not do on a face to face interview. When I read some of the passages in your books, I had a lump in my throat and for that to happen to me takes a lot of doing.

It's not fashionable these days to carry your love of Jesus Christ as open as you do, but it's something I admire.
Some people will tell you that they only turned to Jesus, many soldiers included, when badly wounded or when all appeared to be lost.

I'm delighted to back you ten times over and that's because I 'm sure I'm backing at least one 'best seller.'

Frank James (The Contractor)



Dear James,

I am so happy that you took the time for me, to read, back, & comment on my memoir book, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." :)

I loved your book & know that you will do well on your next one. :)

From my heart, I wrote my story with a lot of tears, feelings, & prayter - God loves me in spite of myself & my bad choices - & I never give up. :)

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your kind reflections. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. Hope you'll take a moment to back my other memoir book, "Tell Me True Love Stories." :) Thanks. :)

JohnnyVee wrote 1361 days ago

Came to read your two books as requested and got merrily slapped in the face and dragged inside. My wholly positive comment and eager backing are the same for both books. Memoirs, or even `tales` of human living and suffering will always engage readers because it is good `story` which matters; and you have suffering (good story) in droves. To that end, you’re already off to a flying start. But that’s not the main player here. It’s your wonderful voice. You carry a certain fresh naivety in your tone which captivates - and I mean that in a completely positive way. A naivety which grips reader and pulls him through the `story` - the `suffering` - It’s a page turner. Good luck with this!

Jane Law wrote 268 days ago

Hi I just read up to Chap13. Your book begins well but then it becomes kinds repetitive. I decided it was because it lacks humour and you don't show much insight into what's going on. Can't quite put my finger on it but left me feeling very dissatisfied with the writer. Sorry but that's me being honest. Jane

ibholdvictory wrote 665 days ago

Touching Account, Bet this book will inspire and strengthen your readers. God Loves you more.

ibholdvictory wrote 665 days ago

Touching Account, Bet this book will inspire and strengthen your readers. God Loves you more.

strachan gordon wrote 969 days ago

I must say I found this tremendously sad reading , to the extent that it was very difficult to finish the first chapter.But , of course , it is amazing that you are still here . I dont know as yet whether you have found your Knight in Shining Armour. I don't know if you have the time , but I wonder if you would be able to look at the first chapter of my novel 'A Buccaneer' , which is about Pirates in the 17th century , with best wishes , Strachan Gordon

John Doney wrote 985 days ago

I haven't been on here for a while due to other things and just read what Harper Collins wrote about your book. What they've said is very true but one thing they haven't added is how brave you are to have done it. It takes a lot for someone to expose their life like this. I've been writing another book that documents my adventures over the last year and some things are hard to write about and within your book you've tackled a lot of complicated things and I just wanted to say how proud you should feel of being voted by everybody and getting to the top slot on this site.
I hope somewhere will find this book and help you get your story told to even more people.
All the best, John.

John Doney wrote 985 days ago

I haven't been on here for a while due to other things and just read what Harper Collins wrote about your book. What they've said is very true but one thing they haven't added is how brave you are to have done it. It takes a lot for someone to expose their life like this. I've been writing another book that documents my adventures over the last year and some things are hard to write about and within your book you've tackled a lot of complicated things and I just wanted to say how proud you should feel of being voted by everybody and getting to the top slot on this site.
I hope somewhere will find this book and help you get your story told to even more people.
All the best, John.

Cheri Moffitt wrote 1071 days ago

What a wild ride this one is!! I just tore through six chapters and look forward to coming back for more...

SusieGulick wrote 1100 days ago

So in other words, real stories no too personal too close to the bone forget it... we go for the garbage..
Good stuff Susie this site is crap and there is no reason to aim for the editor's desk.
A dog could give a better review ~



Dear John,

Afterthought on my response to your comment on my memoirs/testimony book, "He Loves Me" is that I was only wanting their review and was not trying to get published by HarperCollins because, what is the statistics on what I heard that they have only published 7 books since authonomy has been on the web for 3 years? :) I am totally pleased that God gave me grace, mercy, & favor in their sight & gave me a wonderful review - better than I ever dreamt or imagined. :)

I am still extremely sick as I'm sure you've read on my profile page & am only answering messages, so barely on authonomy. :) I'm not able to finish my 2nd book, "Bible Verse Songs" which I put on authonomy 3-1-11 that I'd been writing down Bible verses over the past year that have been put to song & I made it like a hymnal :) - Campus Crusade & Youth For Christ, when I was growing up had a similar booklet with choruses' words without the music. :) It has gone from 4080 to 2075 from the editor's desk. :)

Love, Susie :)

SusieGulick wrote 1110 days ago

So in other words, real stories no too personal too close to the bone forget it... we go for the garbage..
Good stuff Susie this site is crap and there is no reason to aim for the editor's desk.
A dog could give a better review ~



Dear John,

Thank you for taking the time for me & sending me your comment on "He Loves Me." :) To be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk was my last goal because I've achieved all my other goals & am now old & sick which I'm sure you've read in my profile page, with my only strength being in the Lord. :)

I just re-read your submission & was again thankful that I don't work in mines & have the same conclusion that I'd try to escape. :) I also checked to be sure that I had gold-******-rated your book. :)

Thanks again. :)

Love, Susie :)

polymatrixdragon wrote 1110 days ago

So in other words, real stories no too personal too close to the bone forget it... we go for the garbage..
Good stuff Susie this site is crap and there is no reason to aim for the editor's desk.
A dog could give a better review ~

SusieGulick wrote 1110 days ago

Hi Susie
Havn't been on the site in a while but delighted to see you got a review but equally sad that they didn't want to publish. I think you should go to a publisher who specialises in 'misery memoirs' now you have a good review under your belt. Don't stop now xx



Dear Christine,

It is so nice of you to take the time to send me your best wishes. :)

I went to your page & don't see your book - did you get it published? :) It's not there.

I notice you have my "He Loves Me" memoirs/testimony book on your shelf. :)

Hope you'll put my new book, "Bible Verse Songs" on your shelf, too. :) I put it on authonomy 3-1-11. :)

Thanks so much for writing to me. :)

Love, Susie :)

indigoadventures wrote 1110 days ago

Hi Susie
Havn't been on the site in a while but delighted to see you got a review but equally sad that they didn't want to publish. I think you should go to a publisher who specialises in 'misery memoirs' now you have a good review under your belt. Don't stop now xx

SusieGulick wrote 1110 days ago

I can't imagine a comment from a so-called professional reviewer being less relevant and as entirely useless and unhelpful as that! It's an absolute disgrace and makes me feel genuinely sorry for all the time and effort that you put into the writing and the process of getting to the Ed's desk. If anything proves how wasteful and heartbreaking this actually can turn out to be, then this is it! Shame on HP and their miserable, blinkered and narrow-minded staff!



Dear Vanessa,

Thank you for taking the time for me. :)

God bless you. :)

Love, Susie :)

Vanessa Darnleigh wrote 1111 days ago

I can't imagine a comment from a so-called professional reviewer being less relevant and as entirely useless and unhelpful as that! It's an absolute disgrace and makes me feel genuinely sorry for all the time and effort that you put into the writing and the process of getting to the Ed's desk. If anything proves how wasteful and heartbreaking this actually can turn out to be, then this is it! Shame on HP and their miserable, blinkered and narrow-minded staff!

Orlando Furioso wrote 1111 days ago

Greetings, thankyou for making your HC review public. I read it with great interest. You worked hard to get that review.

My observation on the review is this: I am puzzled why the reviewer concludes that the personal nature of your story precludes it from publication. It is after all a personal recollection, so clearly it is self-contained and no one else's story. That is the nature of all biography and all of HC's True Life brand is it not?

I sincerely hope their comments on your story and writing style may help you to arouse interest elsewhere.

Ron Askew

SusieGulick wrote 1123 days ago

The sensitivity of the mother was beautiful. Their poverty tragic as was their fear of Byron Sr. This was unbelievability good writing and raw and real and... did I say good? This was so smooth and flowed so well - your talent is obvious.
The only part I'd criticize, if I were forced to find something, would be the dialogue when Byron was lost in ch 1. It didn't seem as natural as it did everywhere else.
Oh, and I love the songs and her sayings are great.
I've read through chapter - whew those are long chapters. Great hook for the end of ch 2.
- lisa



Dear Lisa,

It was so nice of you to read & back my memoirs/testimony book. :) It was chosen on the editor's desk March 1, 2011, but my other book, "Bible Verse Songs" is 2813 from the editor's desk if you could back it for me instead. :)

You are amazing that you commented on, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not," too. :) Thank you for your encouraging words & suggestions. :) I appreciate your taking the time for me. :)

Love, Susie :)

lterry wrote 1123 days ago

The sensitivity of the mother was beautiful. Their poverty tragic as was their fear of Byron Sr. This was unbelievability good writing and raw and real and... did I say good? This was so smooth and flowed so well - your talent is obvious.
The only part I'd criticize, if I were forced to find something, would be the dialogue when Byron was lost in ch 1. It didn't seem as natural as it did everywhere else.
Oh, and I love the songs and her sayings are great.
I've read through chapter - whew those are long chapters. Great hook for the end of ch 2.
- lisa

SusieGulick wrote 1136 days ago

did HC Publish your work?

Andrew Doyle



Dear Andrew,

Thanks so much for your help & caring. :) I am backing books in order, so I will come to yours, in case you are wondering. :)

It takes about a month for authonomy to review books after they are chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk & that's all it is - they read the 1st 10,000 words & give a review. :) Someone told me that they have only published 6 books since they started almost 3 years ago, any chances are totally slim, but I really did want the review because I have nothing else to live for & it was my last goal, because I'm so sick & I am only still going with God's strength. :) I did put my new book, "Bible Verse Songs" on because it was a snap since I had been started the list ages ago & kept adding & still am & just needed to enter them, but authonomy made me rewrite it twice & hopefully it's acceptable, but it's just the Bible verses & stanzas & not the song words - I was just trying to bless people around the world that know the songs, many since I was little, but don't know the references, so could look them up or sing from the ones I remembered. :)

Love, Susie :)

andrew DOYLE wrote 1136 days ago

did HC Publish your work?

Andrew Doyle

SusieGulick wrote 1140 days ago

I really like your story's premise and the intensity of all the trauma as well as the inspiration and motivation that emerges as a result of it. well done!



Dear Arlynn,

It's so nice of you taking the time to comment on my memoirs/testimony book, "He Loves Me." :) Thank you for your most encouraging word. :)

I put a 2nd book on authonomy 2 days ago, "Bible Songs," if you want to look at it, too. :)

I was totally blessed reading your 2 books & have gold ******-rated, read, commented on them. :)

Love, Susie :)

Kairi wrote 1140 days ago

I really like your story's premise and the intensity of all the trauma as well as the inspiration and motivation that emerges as a result of it. well done!

SusieGulick wrote 1140 days ago

Hello Susie, This is written with a great deal of courage and heart and I wish you every success with it. I have placed it on my shelf with a high star rating.
If you can find the time, I would really appreciate it if you could take a look at either of my two books. Thank you.

Phyllis
PAPER DREAMS & A PASSING STORM



Dear Phyllis,

It was so nice of you to ******, back & comment on my book, "He Loves Me" - I just put another book on, "Bible Songs" & hope you'll ****** & back it, too. :)

With pleasure I read & commented on your 1st book, "A Passing Storm" 254 days ago & just read & commented on your delightful Katie story, "Paper Dreams" & am hoping for a happy ending. :) I have also gold ******-rated both of your books. :)

Love, Susie :)

SusieGulick wrote 1140 days ago

Sussie, I have read a few chapters of your book and find your story engaging and well written. Keep it up and congratulations.
Matthew Uzukwu, author of Women of Steel.



Dear Matthew,

I am so happy to hear from you & that you backed & commented on my memoirs/testimony book, "He Loves Me." :)

With pleasure, I read & commented on your heart-rending story of the southeastern Nigerian women & love that you have share it with the world :) - I had no idea anything like this happened, so I am most thankful for your sharing. :)

I have a new book, "Bible Songs How I Remember Them," if you want to ****** & back it. :) Thank you. :)

Love, Susie :)

andrew DOYLE wrote 1141 days ago

Suzie,
I have just purchased my first copy of The Lost Monks of Avalon.....

after all the anguish, trials and tribulations, and of course some negativity from some, but not all...

http://sbpra.com/andrewdaviddoyle

Andrew David Doyle

Bridget Dunn wrote 1142 days ago

Congrats on making the ED. If anyone deserves to have their story in print, it is you. I hope it all works out for you.

Bridget

Concettah wrote 1143 days ago

Congratulations on being selected Susie :) best of luck to you! God Bless.
Concetta

SusieGulick wrote 1143 days ago

Hello Susie, This is written with a great deal of courage and heart and I wish you every success with it. I have placed it on my shelf with a high star rating.
If you can find the time, I would really appreciate it if you could take a look at either of my two books. Thank you.

Phyllis
PAPER DREAMS & A PASSING STORM



Dear Phyllis,

Thank you so very much for taking the time for me & for gold ******-rating & backing & commenting on my memoirs/testimony book. :) Yes, I wrote my true story from my heart with a lot of emotions & prayer & with the underlying thread that God loves me in spite of myself. :)

I will be reading & commenting on your book this week & backing it when space opens on my bookshelf. :)

Love, Susie :)

SusieGulick wrote 1143 days ago

As I am new to commenting on this site, I wanted to read some of the top rated books. I am sorry but I read your book to Chapter 6, and where I am sure people find the content shocking or moving, this is a writers' site. The writing is in my opinion rather poor and stilted, and is all content and no style. However, you have worked well to reach the desk. Good luck.



Dear Judge Jeffreys,

Thank you for taking the time for my true life verbatim story. :)

Love, Susie :)

Judge Jeffreys wrote 1143 days ago

As I am new to commenting on this site, I wanted to read some of the top rated books. I am sorry but I read your book to Chapter 6, and where I am sure people find the content shocking or moving, this is a writers' site. The writing is in my opinion rather poor and stilted, and is all content and no style. However, you have worked well to reach the desk. Good luck.

Phyllis Burton wrote 1144 days ago

Hello Susie, This is written with a great deal of courage and heart and I wish you every success with it. I have placed it on my shelf with a high star rating.
If you can find the time, I would really appreciate it if you could take a look at either of my two books. Thank you.

Phyllis
PAPER DREAMS & A PASSING STORM

Amobi wrote 1144 days ago

Sussie, I have read a few chapters of your book and find your story engaging and well written. Keep it up and congratulations.
Matthew Uzukwu, author of Women of Steel.

Amobi wrote 1144 days ago

I have read a few chapters and find the story engaging and well written. Congratulations.
Matthew.

marcoslee wrote 1145 days ago

Congratulations, Susie, you're amazing. You've told your story from the heart, like everything else you say and do, have persisted and won over the whole community. And, thanks for being into Revolution or Extinction. Mark Lee Krangle

SusieGulick wrote 1145 days ago

I only read the first three chapters of books on this site as there are so many to comment on.

You write good dialog and that the characters speak with their own voice; that the prose is well structured.

However, I found that you repeated and over used certain words. For example, you use the word 'Shack' three times the first paragraph and a half and over use such phrases as 'he answered' and 'he said'.

Pace felt a little quick. I was looking for more description and a little more 'show' than 'tell' ; some space for the characters to breathe also

Also, like many books on here after three chapters I should have a sense of the story and I don't. You are obviously talented with a concise style but this should serve the story/narrative which is central.

There's a good book in here but it needs puffing up and editing a little.

Good luck



Dear R.J.,

I am so happy to hear from you & that you commented on my memoirs/testimony book :) - if you backed it, it didn't come through - could you please try again because I have been trying for almost a year to be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk & was #4 on 1-1-11, but 2 people passed me, pushing me out to #6, so I didn't get chosen January 31 - I am now #1 & need a lot of backings to anchor me in so that I don't slide out again & so that I can be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk February 28. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your help. :)

With pleasure, I spent a long time reading & commenting on your adventurous Jacob & Angelika story. :) I hope you will write many more exciting books. :)

I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs/testimony book in return? :)

It was so very nice of you to take the time for me & to send me all of your feedback :) - I really appreciate it :) - I think I have an editor & publisher, now, because I am so very ill to do anything on it, as you probably read on my profile page & my last goal in life is to be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk. :)

I would really appreciate your help. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. every ******-ing moves our books up authonomy's lists, as does backing more than 24 hours & the longer on our bookshelves, the more they move up, per authonomy's new rules 2010 :) - on your profile page in "my news," click on author's name & when their profile page comes up, scroll down & click on their book cover or title & their book will come up & over to the right is "my rating" with 6 silver ******-s under & if your click the far right *, they will all turn gold, then, click on "back the book"

SusieGulick wrote 1145 days ago

Your story is one of sorrow but I can see that through your love of God you have grown as a person. Your book will definitely make the editor's desk and I will back this book until you succeed. Thank you for commenting on my book also. I look forward to more of your work, and hope that you book will be published :)



Dear Andrew,

I am so happy to hear from you & that you commented on & backed my memoirs/testimony book :) - you're wonderful to keep it on your shelf to help me. :)

With pleasure, I read & commented on your honest-to-God view of the world. :) You make me smile. :)

I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs/testimony book, too? :)

Thank you so much very much for taking the time for me & for your encouraging me in the Lord. :) Yes, a lot of tears went into my true story with underlying thread that God loves me in spite of myself :) - he loves much who is forgiven much. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. try to get another fast moving green arrow book in your open space of your shelf so that your book will move even faster to the editor's desk - don't choose red arrows or they'll bring you down - unless, of course, mine gets a red arrow - I'll be screaming, "help!!" & be able to be heard all the way to China :)

SusieGulick wrote 1145 days ago

I love the way Susie hits the reader straight between the eyes: Yes! I got raped! Was that the price of dinner? (Chp15). A story that might exhaust more delicate readers with its relentless energy and drama.



Dear Phil,

It is so nice of you to comment on my memoirs/testimony book. :) It was extremely traumatic to write my true story, which I wrote in 1997 & then kept re-writing & lots more emotions each time, through a lot of writing seminars & writing classes until I finally finished a year ago & got it on authonomy. :) I'm so glad that I have not given up when I'm so ill & am finally from of 6000 away from the editor's desk to #1 & I'll happier if I can stay in the top 5 to be chosen February 28. :) It's from my reading & commenting on thousands of books when it's hard to even sit here, but God helped me & I've almost made it, hopefully. :)

Thank you for taking the time for me & for giving me such high encouraging words. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. Why not try to add 3 fast moving green arrow books onto your bookshelf, so you'll go from #4045 red arrow to green arrows & to #1 :) - I've seen within a month, like Malika who is on my bookshelf :) - she was #1083 on 2-2-11 &is now #28, only 24 days later. :)

kcwilson wrote 1146 days ago

"She rushed about in a dither!"

I fell into this story right away and felt comfortable with the narrator until this sentence struck me as one that foreshadowed chattiness, maybe, or some form of excess over economy. Just a little flare went up in my mind, that's all. But it made me realize that anyone reading your story to the end must make a commitment. You require that of a reader and that kind of confidence is hard to turn away from. But the end of your life story is a long way off and before I commit to reading about you from the time you were born, maybe you could ease me into the tale with a little introduction. It's just my initial feeling that your narrator is wound up tighter than Dick's hatband and trying hard not to sound other than spontaneous. That pitch-perfect volubility may prove difficult to sustain. I think it's all a matter of striking the right tone and then modulating the pacing. If it gets too frantic to read out loud, it's going too fast. That's true for me, anyway. I'm no expert at pacing. But I've not yet committed to reading your whole life story. I am reading on, however. With pleasure.

Gregg A Granger wrote 1146 days ago

"He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" is a treasure. I finished chapter 2, and will continue as time permits. I'm hooked.
Gregg Granger - Author of Sailing Faith: The Long Way Home

IlyaKralinsky wrote 1146 days ago

In honoring your request to read your work, I will admit you've created quite the controversy and publicity, so your promotional skills are par excellence. In reading the work, your locales are interesting, your characters came through, but here are my key points of contention:

See if you can't recraft some of your prose to get out of passive voice. This was/were for everything tends to jump out and slow things down in the worst way. We're competing with Internet, movies and television for the collective attention of an audience, and we're losing precisely because too many writers are unwilling to let go of, or recraft, a slowed-down voice that, while seemingly natural, can really get a reader to put down a book.

Point Two: Overdone Dialogue. Exclamation points after everything stands out and dissuades a reader from continuing. One of the big abilities in mastering dialogue comes from being able to convey tone and mood from word choice. This is simply a practiced skill that arrives from a cognizance that it has to be mastered.

Point Three: a tendency to describe dialogue as it happens is another sign the author feels a weakness is conveying tone and mood through dialogue, and readers do pick up on this. He exclaimed, she sang -- more precise verbs are fantastic for general narrative, but offering this variety of desriptive verbs after nearly every line of dialogue can grow trite.

Point Four: First Person Voice and Its Pitfalls: It took me a bit to catch onto the first person voice, but it comes across even after presenting what seems a third person omniscient voice. First person is one of those points of view that many beginning writers feel frees them to express any string of drivel in any amount they wish with any words that pop off the tops of their heads. This is untrue. In The Sound and the Fury, Faulkner uses first person to highlight unique voices and tell his story in the way a third person narrator could never possibly do, heightening the art of what he did and creating a new paradigm in literature art in several ways. It seems if something could be told in third person, do it; if it must be in first person, the voice must be unique enough to move the story in a direction and lend dimension it ordinarily would not have. Moreover, when writing with this unique voice in first person, the writing still has to be clean and move forward in some measurable degree; first person does not provide justification for stream-of-consciousness without defined storyline. This mistake is most commonly committed by a reader largely uninitiated in the subtle nuance of literary work who cannot spot the elements that make it noteworthy.

Otherwise, you have a genuine piece of work here, formatted like a real book, that tells a story. Good luck to you.

RJU74 wrote 1146 days ago

I only read the first three chapters of books on this site as there are so many to comment on.

You write good dialog and that the characters speak with their own voice; that the prose is well structured.

However, I found that you repeated and over used certain words. For example, you use the word 'Shack' three times the first paragraph and a half and over use such phrases as 'he answered' and 'he said'.

Pace felt a little quick. I was looking for more description and a little more 'show' than 'tell' ; some space for the characters to breathe also

Also, like many books on here after three chapters I should have a sense of the story and I don't. You are obviously talented with a concise style but this should serve the story/narrative which is central.

There's a good book in here but it needs puffing up and editing a little.

Good luck

Andrew Keeton wrote 1146 days ago

Your story is one of sorrow but I can see that through your love of God you have grown as a person. Your book will definitely make the editor's desk and I will back this book until you succeed. Thank you for commenting on my book also. I look forward to more of your work, and hope that you book will be published :)

SusieGulick wrote 1147 days ago

Hi SuzieQ,

Four more days, then all that hard work will be rewarded. Editor's desk here you come!

John (Jnortonpa)



O, I love you, John. :) You made me laugh. :) I'm still smiling ear to ear. :) Yes, 3 day & 20 hours. :) I'm still not going to be presumptuous & kill myself keep on keeping on. :) If you read my updated profile page, I was sure I was going to die yesterday & got so sad I'd not live to Feb. 28 to see if I'd be chosen, but God was merciful & I'm still here & still symptoms, but not as bad :) - but God is my joy. :) PLUS JOHN :) - YOU'RE THE GREATEST. :) You're going to have a kazillion stars in your crown. :)

Love, Susie :)

jnortonpa wrote 1147 days ago

Hi SuzieQ,

Four more days, then all that hard work will be rewarded. Editor's desk here you come!

John (Jnortonpa)

Ham4you wrote 1147 days ago

I've only been through the first few chapters. WOW! My heart is aching! Abuse was not recognized back in the days. I can't wait to dive in and read more. This weekend I will be reading "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." Thanks Susie Gullick for sharing this with us.

Melisa
"Twenty Weeks"

Constantine00 wrote 1147 days ago

Hello! I found your book and have begun reading it. I have placed it on my book shelf also

Sirius wrote 1147 days ago

I love the way Susie hits the reader straight between the eyes: Yes! I got raped! Was that the price of dinner? (Chp15). A story that might exhaust more delicate readers with its relentless energy and drama.

SusieGulick wrote 1148 days ago

Always good to see someone who can stay positive despite the many stumblingblocks in their past. Glad to see what you have overcome as it shows me the power of God. Stay Positive Susie!



Dear Benjamin,

I am so happy to hear from you & that you gold ******-rated, backed, & commented on my memoirs/testimony book :) - could you please keep my book on your bookshelf to help me, after my trying for almost a year to be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk? :) I was #4 on 1-1-11 & 2 people passed me up, pushing me out to #6, so I didn't get chosen in the top 5 January 31 - I am now #1 & need lots of backings to hold me in so that I don't slide out again & so that I will be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk February 28 which is 5 days from now. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your help. :)

With pleasure, I gold ******-rated, read, & commented on your realistic antichrist story :) - just hope I'm not around for it. :) Totally timely because our Joyful Life Women's Bible study at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa California is studying Revelation & also I've read the New Testament much more than 200 xs & get more each time. :)

It was so nice of you to take the time for me & to encourage me in the Lord & I have ever only been told that I was "special" once before in my life & that was about 30 years ago :) - I have always done my best & my boss told me one day, "you're special" & now you have. :) It makes it feel all worthwhile, even though I know my rewards are from the Lord. :) Anyway, you sure made my day, week, years, even!! :) Yes, with God's love & strength, I'm still going with my eye on Him to hold me up :) - I guess you've read my profile page. :)

Love, Susie :)
p.s. every ******-ing moves our books up authonomy's lists, as does backing more than 24 hours & the longer on our bookshelves, the more they move up, per authonomy's new rules :)

Solomon2010 wrote 1148 days ago

Always good to see someone who can stay positive despite the many stumblingblocks in their past. Glad to see what you have overcome as it shows me the power of God. Stay Positive Susie!

SusieGulick wrote 1149 days ago

Hi Susie, hope it doesn't seem to soon to say congrats!! So glad to see that you are accomplishing your goal. I had your book up all month and just recently took it down, as I feel you are now a shoe in to the ED. Prayers are still with you from my heart concerning all of your present trials. Continue to live, and not die!! God is able to perform all things through christ who strenghtens us....



Dear Danielle,

It is so nice of you to have kept my memoirs/testimony book on your bookshelf for so long. :) I need your backing more than ever to anchor me into the top 5 of the editor's desk so that I don't slide out again the way I did last month - I was #4 on 1-1-11 & 2 people passed me, pushing me out to #6, so I didn't get chosen January 31 - now I'm #1 & need lots of backing to hold me in so that I don't go out of the top 5 & so that I can be chosen in the top 5 of the editor's desk February. :) It's crucial - Jim who got chosen last month, it happened to him in December & he finally got chosen. :) Please help me :) - it's only 5 more days. :) I would be ever so grateful. :)

Love, Susie :)

tree of life wrote 1149 days ago

Hi Susie, hope it doesn't seem to soon to say congrats!! So glad to see that you are accomplishing your goal. I had your book up all month and just recently took it down, as I feel you are now a shoe in to the ED. Prayers are still with you from my heart concerning all of your present trials. Continue to live, and not die!! God is able to perform all things through christ who strenghtens us....