Guilderland

Hi Mary,
I wish we had more books like yours on the site--a good old mystery. Your descriptions are well down. Your dialogue rings true. At the end of chapter 3 (authonomy's), you have gingerly twice in close proximity, as a nit. But I like your book and am putting it on my WL for now.
Cheers!
John B Campbell (Walk to Paradise Garden)

This is the kind of story I would have liked to have written myself
Mary, Elanor, Mike, her father, and most of all steve logan
Strong charaters distinctly drawn
I'm at one with Richard in his love of Tuscany
I havent read past chapter 16 when her father arrives so the mystery of who is the murderer i leave till later
Well done
Backed
Micheal O'Durcain
Murder on the Menu

Hi Debra, it really is a nice read. :-) Ever think of making a screenplay out of it?

sincerely,
jim

Hi
This is very polished. Thrilling to the core
backed
THE THIRD EYE

Hi
This is very polished. Thrilling to the core
backed
THE THIRD EYE

Hi Debra, Mary’s background and the atmosphere of the smalltown pulled me in. It seems that the tragedy of her mother sparked her writing? And the man disappointment makes Guilderland a refuge. One thing – “scribe-like” and then the waitress scribbled didn’t make a picture for me. The synopsis is a draw after these preliminaries since Mary doesn’t seem like anyone to suspect. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi Debra. Very, very cool! Enjoying your journey.

blessings!
jim
jack & charmian london

Your descriptive opening is brilliant!
Your use of multi-sensory description is great, sets the scene beautifully.
Then we move into 3 and Mary’s characters starts to develop, what also liked you developed the character of the town with the hint that nothing much changes except a few East-coasters and a new supplier of Apple pie. Perfect set up for something to happen – Now I have to go and read just what! – Great start!

Fabulous cover, superb writing, excellent job! I hope to see this one climb the charts.

My only suggestion would be to try and break up some of the longer paragraphs.

Best of luck to you!

Heidi Marshall
More

Great pitch and your character of Mary is interesting and likeable. I can see this being a great movie! Tania, This Last Summer

The opening to ch1 really makes us concentrate. It's dense and complex but true. (I don't think 'its' should have an apostrophe when referring to Destiny.)
We can relax with the start of the story proper, still lovely in its description, but telling us why Mary has come to this place.
Love the sky 'dancing a tango between light and darkness'. Thinking about it, that's just what it does.
Ch 3 is cosy and here we learn about Mary's failed relationship. You do a great job of depicting the locals and the pretentious couple they managed to drive away. Could do with a few more like them. (The locals, I mean.)Then the rock through the window sounds an ominous note.
It's full of excellent, believable characters, dialogue the same, and a setting we enjoy being in. It's the sort of thriller I'd buy and will buy when it's published. Reading further but backing now. lynn

Hello Debra, Firstly I just love your book cover and in the sea of book at my local store, this is one that would grab me. Lets face it if one is not a well known author or had rating from Oprah it is the cover that makes one pick it up congrats. Your short pitch is great and just a suggestion for your long pitch. It gives the impression of being long when it is not, so paras would really be good. This is the first read your potential publishers will have of your work and this book of yours deserves as many readers as possible...again just a suggestion... I would not normally read a book in this genre, but you know I promised myself that I would step across to another genre, and review for skill etc. one cannot just discard a climbing author just because of genre.....BACKED for sure.......I would just love you to step across to my genre and review my book, COMMENTS are so welcome even if it is only the skill etc.... and if you see fit, BACK it.

BEST of luck with yours

Denise
The Letter

Dear Debra, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "Tell Me True Love Stories." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already backed your book, I will put your book on my watchlist. Could you please take a moment to back my completed edited memoir version, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not?" I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
Here is the response I received from authonomy concerning backing:
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved."

Dear Debra, I love your starting & ending with "bow to circumstanace" - that's pretty neat! :) Yes, the twist was in the end. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

Welcome aboard, Debra. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch works. For the long pitch, you want to break it down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. Since this is a thriller, end it with one succinct question to pique your casual reader's interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

GUILDERLAND
This is an interesting story. You have a good character in Mary; she’s likable and her reason for coming to an isolated cabin rings true. Your writing style is good for this type of story; you add just enough detail to scenes they read as if authentic; not so much to slow down the story. If I had a suggestion it would be to bring the murder into the story earlier to hook your reader sooner (as they say in Hollywood, get those heads up out of that popcorn fast) – maybe even begin with that, then fill in the rest. Either way, it’s a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

The opening paragraph is so true and beautifully captured. Within the context of a crime thriller, I wonder what Mary's 'destiny' will be.
The cosiness of her domestic surrounds, we sense, belies something far from cosy to come but we are inside Mary's head and her sentiments from the start, ready to react to whatever her destiny may deliver.
'No one knew exactly how mother's death had occurred...' and the reader cares because the death, if suspicious, was still of Mary's mother, albeit resented for having farmed Mary off to a boarding school.
Then we hear Mary relish the country life, swathe herself in a warm blanket, and that lull or cosiness returns, yet we sense it is very much the lull before the storm.
I wanted - but didn't need - to read on to know that I was in the hands of an author who could gradually draw me into the narrative and keep me anticipating the exciting storyline that lies in the synopsis.

Shelved.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

I enjoyed reading this very much. Mary was an easy character to like. You didn't drag out the ending and I appreciate that. I hope that you will have Mary and Dave in another book. Thank you for writing Guilderland.

I love this story - great premise and your gifted with dialogue and descriptive prose! My only gripe - I WISH I WROTE THIS! BACKed with pleasure and I will dedfinitely return since (bless you) you have the entire book here!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Backed with pleasure! Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of my work) for a further read and possible backing of your book.

This is impressive writing, this book is going to do very well. Backed.

BD Nelson
Abigail's Cries