Book Jacket

 

rank 3201
word count 48362
date submitted 14.03.2010
date updated 28.01.2012
genres: Fiction, Fantasy, Children's, Comed...
classification: universal
complete

Mr Fruitbat’s Magic Mints

Mark Thorp

Come inside, meet the Kakaah bird, the rare and highly dangerous Hairy Oakra, the Dream Monkeys and the dude at the Jungle Falls Service Station.

 

Mr Fruitbat’s Magic Mints is a tale of adventure aimed at the 9+ market and counts in at around 48,500 words. The story centres on a girl named Misty, her globe spanning journey, her globe shaped cousins, her learning to fly and her slurping milkshakes. She meets the straight and the strange, the large and the small, the bald and the bogeyman as she delights in Fruitbat’s soft, syrupy world. It is silly, sad, funny and frightening in reasonably equal measure.

Tagged on the end is the screenplay version I'm currently working on

 
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tags

adventure, children, comedy, fantasy, fiction, kids

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53 comments

 

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Heisenberg wrote 792 days ago

Thanks for your lovely words, Emily.

I used the words carefully, knowing they were too hard for the chosen age. My thoughts were that if the kids don't know the words they can research them. But all the feedback I've had over the past year or two has beeen the same. I've recently finished The Man with the Ants in His Eyes (took up far too much time), I'm going to finish the draft of Bar Humbug I'm working on then I am planning on re-writing The Mints, much of it hasn't changed throughout the eight or nine drafts of it, Misty is probably about 25 years old in real time.

Thanks again.

Emily M wrote 793 days ago

This reminds me very much of Roald Dahl's books. Misty is a girl readers will easily identify with, and her two cousins are just the horrible types of people so common in Dahl's books. Repugnance and Tyranni...how fitting!
There's a lot here for kids to love: rude humor, magical worlds, and making vegetables bad guys (since most kids will swear they already are).
You do an excellent job of drawing the reader in, and the hooks at the end of each chapter made me want to keep reading (I wonder who RF is?).
I had a bit of concern that the structure and language in this book may be a bit above your target audience, but it would be perfect for parents to read aloud to their kids, or perhaps for an advanced reader.
All in all, very enjoyable, and more than a bit quirky. Well done!
Best of luck!
Emily

Heisenberg wrote 813 days ago

Thank you, Candy,
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Candymace wrote 813 days ago

This is bound to entertain kids and adults reading this to them. I loved the names -Repugnance and Tyranni. The 'rude' bits are Roald Dahl like (howled like the wind from a baboon's bum) and just what children love, just the wrong side of naughty and written by a grown-up! Good luck with this bundle of fun. Candy.

Gail_M wrote 1420 days ago

Ive reached the beginning of chapter 3 and, much as I'd love to continue reading, I really must go back to bed (it's almost 4 a.m.)
MR FRUITBAT'S MAGIC MINTS is, in my opinion, the perfect children's book. It is wonderfully descriptive, laugh-out-loud funny, full of mystery and magic and adventure. Your narrative is delightfully engaging and the story clips along at a brilliant pace.
I'm looking forward to buying a copy of this to read to my small nephew, niece and grandson (all under age 6)
Backed with pleasure
Gail
NEW BEGINNINGS

mvw888 wrote 1427 days ago

A charming story and has all the elements for a good yard for kids: something magic, a bored girl who needs adventure, a thrilling setting. I like that you have to believe in the mints--I only looked at two chapters but if you tie this in to something happening in her life, then this story would be complete in my view. The writing is wonderful--alive and playful. Really enjoyed this.
---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

eloraine wrote 1427 days ago

Really good and I wish you the very best, good luck. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Wilma1 wrote 1438 days ago

A delightful tale that I would love to read to my granddaughters. You leave me lots of opportunity to add silly voices. You have used such wonderful imagery and I’m sure the illustrated version would be excellent.





Sue Mackender

Knowing Liam Riley

S Richard Betterton wrote 1445 days ago

Mark, for a change I've read what you've uploaded of the screenplay (as I've written a few and read a lot) It sounds great! Real atmosphere and intrigue at the start. One thing I'd suggest though, is to keep description to a minimum. Things like 'not a moment too soon' / 'if she ever said she was fond of them...' don't really appear in screenplays in my experience. Also dialogue is tabbed in compared to description. Anyway, really promising. Backed.

crazy mama wrote 1446 days ago

A book to be enjoyed by young and old Crazy Mama's like me..Brilliant! and highly imaginative..makes you look forward to seeing it illustrated! Backed

Ransom Heart wrote 1461 days ago

Cousin Repugnance, Auntie Naive, Mrs. Cheesecake -- and the jungle landscapes, the appeals to the senses, the bird cries -- reading this novel is like falling into a . . . mint.
Backed a few days ago. Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

mariecapri wrote 1463 days ago

Hello Mark. I loved your varied descriptions of mints in the first chapter. Really funny concept, with humor in your writing. The million fingernails put my teeth on edge. It reminded me of Tom, from Tom and Jerry, scraping down the side of a ship. Never forgot that! This has great characters and is well written. Best of luck with it! mariecapri (Cosmic Linx)

Alice Fay wrote 1483 days ago

Those magic mints are genius. I love the opening - it's very witty. Backed. Will probably comment again once I've read more!

Sheila Belshaw wrote 1484 days ago

MR FRUITBAT'S MAGIC MINTS:

Mark,

You have an enviable gift for storytelling. If I had bought this in a bookshop for my kids, I'd have sneaked it under my pillow so that I could get the first read. Utterly delightful in its concept and in its execution. (The younger ones might have had trouble understanding some of it, so they'd have needed me to read it to them anyway.)

Well constructed with great imagination, and rich in description. Only once did I see a vague description. You could say instead that the tree trunks were as wide as houses, to give a more vivid picture.

This was an enthralling read. I also did a fair amount of chuckling at your clever, low-key humour.

Backed, with great pleasure.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

pinkcoffee wrote 1489 days ago

I have just read the first chapter out to my children & have had to promise to keep it on my watchlist so my son can read more tomorrow! That is a job well done on your part, to have a child want to read on. Also, I was also enjoying it so am happy to read more! I wish you the very best of luck. kind regards pinkcoffee 'In The Moment' & 'Chameleon'

J. Hamler wrote 1489 days ago

Chapter 1

Now this is a kid's book I could get into. Even if it makes me feel like a pederast. I just like the way you write. You GET it, if you know what I mean. You know how to write for kids without dumbing it down too much or being melodramatic while managing to be magical. I appreciate it. Bravo

Cheers

John

Heisenberg wrote 1490 days ago

Thanks very much

Su Dan wrote 1490 days ago

OOH mints and monsters, a brilliant idea for kids, I can't wait for the film. On watchlist...will back!= because writing for children is difficult...
SU DAN [SEASONS]

jahek wrote 1490 days ago

Brilliant character names and a great start to the story.

Jane Holyoake (The Spiral Pendant)

mongoose wrote 1491 days ago

Normally I hate prologues or bits before the main book (and apparently children do too - according to my exhaustive research - ahem - they simply 'skip to the main bit'). However making an exception here as love your mint bit at the start - particularly the warning that this isn't all sweetness and whimsy but people DIE. Fab. Nice frisson.
It's a mind trip but a good one. I enjoyed it mightily, would be telling big fat furry fibs if I said otherwise. Would your target age group? Dunno. Maybe try it out on them and see. Vocab is pushing it a bit for the mid-grade audience and they might find some parts a little protracted. But, hey, I'm not 8-12 so I can back it without worry!

Tawn Anderson wrote 1492 days ago

Cute... very cute. The story is wonderfully imaginitive... but you've heard that. I like the characters - kids are going to love saying Kakaah over and over again. My only nit, being a mother of a young child is that while your story is targeting the 9+ market, and the characters and plot do well, there are a lot of big words in your text. For an adult reading it, its fun. But for a 9 year old, some of the words would be hard to pronounce and they might not understand what they mean. However, other than that, I think this has great potential for capture the hearts of kids everywhere! Backed with pleasure!

Tawn Anderson (Providence)

Sandie Newman wrote 1492 days ago

You must really love mints to make them a portal into a magical world, sorry if I got the wrong end of the stick there. This is incredibly imaginative and something alot of people wouldn't have thought of. I loved so many things about the opening, excellent introduction, I will not be looking at the packed of Softmints in my desk drawer at work the same ever again! Backed with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

klouholmes wrote 1492 days ago

Hi Mark, Imaginative and ruminative at the same time, Misti’s reverie doesn't seem that much weirder than her home experience. She’s caught between a psychedelic monkey and her Aunt Naiive – loved that name. After the mints, the first paragraph of Chapter 2 was a little daunting but I was caught into the fantasy scenes and what happened to her parents. I liked the way the atmosphere maintained, keeping in the bizarre. It’s entertaining! Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

lookinup wrote 1494 days ago

Being an optimist, I felt sort of squashed when the mints' effects went negative...but you're backed anyway :)

Catherine (The Golden Thread - pls. do take a look and tell me what you think...)

Jared wrote 1494 days ago

Mark, it’s a great title and the chatty pitches work well. I’ve read your opening five chapters and also dipped into later chapters to get a feeling for the book and it’s certainly impressive.
You have such a vivid imagination, perfectly pitched towards the thought processes of young children, and write in a delightfully light and engaging style. The ‘target’ age-group of 9+ seems right to me and I’m particularly impressed by your insistence on making the vocabulary challenging. For this age-group in particular, a book should aim to develop skills as well as entertain and I’m so pleased to see words that may well require further explanation from an elder scattered around. Picking a chapter at random, chapter five actually, I noted words like contemplated, sumptuous, perpetual, cornucopia and cacophony, this is excellent writing and I commend your efforts.
This has the potential to be very successful. Good characterization, wonderful names and magic mints, what else would anyone want? Backed with approval.
Jared. (Mummy’s Boy)

Kidd1 wrote 1494 days ago

My daughter, ten years old, loved this. Wonderfully imaginative. Backed

soutexmex wrote 1494 days ago

I read Ch 17 - break up the paragraphs and make this run smoother. Both the pitches needs work on them, editing. I will SHELVE for the kiddos who could be entertained by this tale.

I can use your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

ellen911 wrote 1495 days ago

This is wonderful. A mix of CHris Van Allsburg and Roald Dahl. I love the movement in and out of Misty's real world and her "mint world".
I think the voice appeals to that tween crowd all the way up to 13/14.
Lovely!
Backed,
Ellen (Thoughts of a Teenage Girl)

Burgio wrote 1495 days ago

This is a good story for the schoolage crowd. First, because it’s about a girl (why should Harry Potter get all the action?) Second, because you have a great imagination and writing style for this age group. It’s both magical and a good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

missyfleming_22 wrote 1495 days ago

Wow, this is a vivid and orginal piece of work! Kids are going to love this! I know I did. You've got such a wonderful imagination, I had so much fun reading this this afternoon. Very fun and easy to read. Good luck with this.

Missy

Phyllis Burton wrote 1495 days ago

Hello Mark, You have obviously been blessed with a very vivid imagination. This is a fantastic story for children, young adults and adults alike. Well, I enjoyed it. You have a way with words and they just simply fly off the page. I love the way that the sunlight came into the little girl's bedroom had a look round and then retreated. Also, the bird looking like a child's drawing. This is a well written gem and it has to go on my SHELF. Good luck with this. Would you have a look at my story, please?

Phyllis
A Passing Storm

Rakhi wrote 1495 days ago

I enjoyed this. The description of the mints with the great promise of fear, mystery and adventure will tempt any kid. Your play of words, style of writing is fascinating. Misty is a wonderful character, a good balance of sweet and smart. And which child woudn't love to hate the cousins. Good luck with this. Backed with pleasure.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

Heisenberg wrote 1496 days ago

A three year old with a box of crayons, a juice box and a head cold could write a better story.

lynn clayton wrote 1496 days ago

I adore the kind Kakaah bird. This feast for the imagination is almost overwhelming. Children will be hyperative with excitement. Brilliant. backed. lynn

kittykat wrote 1496 days ago

This is so original - love the theme and the humour. You really evoke places and imagery effectively, such as the sun in the bedroom or the jungle. There are a few places where the sentences seemed a bit over-long, e.g. paragraph in Ch1 beginning "the exception to..." I'm just mentioning it because I think this is a great idea and deserves a few polishes.

best wishes
Kittykat (My House Eats People)

Invasive1 wrote 1496 days ago

Wow. I need some of that fruitbat's medicine today. What a fantastic world you've created here, and so easy to become immersed! Love the creatures and scenarios. The point of view pulls you right in. Great food for imaginations! Well done and backed!

Famlavan wrote 1496 days ago

Great title!!

This is how children’s books should be written – for adults with children in mind – to me that doesn’t demean the children’s intelligence. This is an absolute hoot of a story. Much, much, much good luck with this!!

olga wrote 1496 days ago

Hi

I enjoyed reading about the magic mints. I'm not sure the second chapter is as gripping. You use rather a lot of large words and I wonder if this is okay for 9 year olds? I would think that for children, simple terms and words are best but then I do not write children's stories.
Tight prose.
Shelved.
Cheers Olga.

olga wrote 1496 days ago

Hi

I enjoyed reading about the magic mints. I'm not sure the second chapter is as gripping. You use rather a lot of large words and I wonder if this is okay for 9 year olds? I would think that for children, simple terms and words are best but then I do not write children's stories.
Tight prose.
Shelved.
Cheers Olga.

DP Walker wrote 1497 days ago

Hi Mark
Fantastic! A great story for kids and funny too. Am going to run this one past my 8 year old daughter as well. I’ve got a few promise reads to catch up on but will add you to my WL to read more shortly.
All the best
DP Walker
Five Dares

Beval wrote 1497 days ago

I want to eat magic mints and walk in a forest that smells of custard.
And I promise to watch out for the monkeys.
This is a great story full of the most wonderful images, they would have enchanted me as a child. and you've two horrible, ugly sisters as well, perfect.
Backed.

DKTD1 wrote 1497 days ago

AHHHH! Demons and VEGETABLES?! Say it ain't so, man!
This is great stuff, just the kind of thing that sparks a kid to grab a broom handle and wear a towel as a cape and take leave of the castle (2 bedroom ranch) to fend the village (backyard) from the evil hordes of monsters (mom's flowers)...
Love it. Shelved.

Dan-
Eunice Stubbins, among others...

DKTD1 wrote 1497 days ago

AHHHH! Demons and VEGETABLES?! Say it ain't so, man!
This is great stuff, just the kind of thing that sparks a kid to grab a broom handle and wear a towel as a cape and take leave of the castle (2 bedroom ranch) to fend the village (backyard) from the evil hordes of monsters (mom's flowers)...
Love it. Shelved.

Dan-
Eunice Stubbins, among others...

DKTD1 wrote 1497 days ago

AHHHH! Demons and VEGETABLES?! Say it ain't so, man!
This is great stuff, just the kind of thing that sparks a kid to grab a broom handle and wear a towel as a cape and take leave of the castle (2 bedroom ranch) to fend the village (backyard) from the evil hordes of monsters (mom's flowers)...
Love it. Shelved.

Dan-
Eunice Stubbins, among others...

Dadoo wrote 1497 days ago

Hello Mark;

When I saw Douglas Adams as one of your favorite authors, I knew I was in for a good time:-)

I am enjoying the humor sprinkled about this pleasant yarn, The occasional dark notes set off quite nicely against young Misty's kind spirit, in spite of the horrific cousins.

This is a book, that as an adult, I would love to read to my Children. There is enough in it to keep me amused as well:-)

Well done Mark.

Bob Gracie
The One True Bank

Dadoo wrote 1497 days ago

Hello Mark;

When I saw Douglas Adams as one of your favorite authors, I knew I was in for a good time:-)

I am enjoying the humor sprinkled about this pleasant yarn, The occasional dark notes set off quite nicely against young Misty's kind spirit, in spite of the horrific cousins.

This is a book, that as an adult, I would love to read to my Children. There is enough in it to keep me amused as well:-)

Well done Mark.

Bob Gracie
The One True Bank

Jed Oliver wrote 1498 days ago

Wonderfully imaginative! I wish you the very best with this! Backed with pleasure, Jedward (Knut)

Fromante wrote 1498 days ago

Marvellous book for the children, this is a way I wish I could write. Backed all the way to the editors desktop! Good Luck Mark.
Norman. The Witch of Hambone books 1,2,&3. And. Muddledydo.

gillyflower wrote 1498 days ago

Your pitch is full of great things, strange, creatively named creatures, and the promise of delightful adventures and much excitement. It drew me in to read this book, which I have been thoroughly enjoying. Misty with her disappearing parents, sick aunt, and horrible cousins, is the perfect heroine, brave, smart, likable and in need of rescuing. I love the Kakaah bird with its marvellous colour scheme and kind expression; and the suddenness with which Misty arrives in the jungle shortly after chewing a mint (presumably not a coincidence?) is skillfully presented. You have lots of vivid and often funny descriptions which bring your settings, both magical and otherwise, beautifully to life; and your cast of characters are all thoroughly individual. The parents are particularly good, eccentric and amusing and colourful. This is a book which children are bound to love. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Jim Darcy wrote 1498 days ago

Wonderful! I read bits from books on site to the grandkids and they loved it. Now we have to buy some damned bat things! Cheers, Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

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