The Last Days and The Great Tribulation

Hi, Jeff,
Your shelf looks terribly lonely....!!!
I'd like to share a passage from chapter 13 of my novel, Isles End.
“And another thing . . . if all of this sounds too fantastic, I will tell you now, it's still nothing in comparison to being in His presence. Just to be near—even to gaze from afar! Anything else that one could possibly imagine . . . pales! A thousand suns would be wan in His shadow. He has no needs in order to make Himself complete. He is completeness! Still, amazingly, He desires to have the deepest intimacy with all those in His creation, and He will, with those who come to Him. The intricacies of His vast splendor are too deep to comprehend, and yet He is fully approachable. His personal care for each of His creatures is profound and absolute!”
The Archangel's deep fluid voice was almost booming now. He seemed to tower above Harry as he regaled him with his description of divinity—but it wasn’t just a message of spirituality or theology. This was personal knowledge!
With his arms raised, Narcissus became a beacon with a surge of light, liquid electricity flowing through his facial muscles as he spoke, his flesh glowing so intensely that the angel’s features could no longer be seen. Harry closed his eyes for real fear of being blinded, but the light even penetrated his eyelids. He turned his face away and crouched down in his chair as Narcissus continued, but he dared not interrupt the celestial being.

Maybe you'll take a closer look....?
THX, Joe

Hi, Jeff,
Leaving you a message here. Would be better to actually "message" you...then correspond....see some books on your shelf...read your book and leave comments here. I want all faith based books here to rise to the top!
So, have I introduced you to my book yet?
Isles End is Christianity undercover, with no religious terms but scriptures woven into the story. No one will feel "Bible thumped" while reading it. The unsuspecting non-believer will be introduced to a Loving Creative Designer through a (hopefully....) compelling story.
There might be a reason it's ranked under 40.... ;o)
Maybe you'll take a look and "message me" when you stop by here again?
THX,
~Joe :o)

Jeff,
The Last Days and The Great Tribulation is a treasure to behold. I love these futuristic stories connected to Biblical prophecy. Backed with enthusiasm.

The last days . . .
Backed with pleasure (why don't you use chapters? it's easier to read)
Eveleen
- Turning a new leaf
- Like a dot on the horizon

You will absolutely love my book the same way I am enjoying yours. Amazing similarities from a different perspective

Greetings Jeff!

I enjoy the premise of your story, and you do a great job of conveying who the character of D is. If I may bring up a constructive point to enhance your manuscript: The quotation marks are reversed and placed awkwardly within your story. If I was creating a quote or character speaking- "Hey, great storyline, my friend!" -that is how the quotes would look with the punctuation inside of them. Also, there is no need to add further punctuation after the punctuation inside of the quote. example: "This would be it!" is correct, vs. "This would be it!". with the period after the quote.

I don't mean to nitpick or come across as belittling. I have had several people offer constructive points to help enhance my stories. Your storyline is good, Jeff! Hopefully we can all help hone one another's craft: As iron sharpens iron! Keep writing the good write! Backed.

<>< Shalom! ><>

Teric Darken

(K - I - L - L FM 100 / U-TURN KiLLuR)

Hi Teric,
How are you? Had time today to make the corrections you spoke of and noticed that this only occurred a few times. Perhaps a few times too often. Most times the quotations were after the period, question mark, or exclamation points. These must have been errors unseen during my process of review. Nevertheless I would like to ask is this something (error with the quotations) that was standard or was it in your recollection sporadic throughout the story?
Must admit I spent an abundant amount of time reviewing and correcting the narration. Looks like I should go over the dialogue once again with that same fine tooth comb as their is much more dialogue to come in the remainder of the story. Will work on this until it's right.
Thanks again for sharpening my pencil.
Jeff

Dear Jeff, I love fiction, history, & Christian.. :) Your story is a good read because you have a hot topic & create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue which makes me want to keep reading & reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Please take a moment to back my TWO Books, ... "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" ... and the UNEDITED version? ... "Tell Me True Love Stories"
Thanks, Susie :)

An up-to-date journey through Revelations. I'm sure there's a big Christian young adult audience out there who will want to read this. Could initiate good discussion in a Bible study or discussion group. Backed. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

A good book to engage the minds of the young ones. Backed.

Gabriel

This is totally original! I love the idea of christian and crime combined! So far well done and I will return for more later but BACKED with pleasure for now!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Hi Jeff. An interesting pitch and a story that shows promise. I have an issue with your mixing of tenses. I often write in the present tense and it's not easy. Example from very near the beginning "...a young girls gasps...and calls out, '...There's Daniel'. Within an instant...teenage girls, were buzzing... He was overwhelmed..."
You have to be very careful as it makes ready difficult. I can't see why you need to use present tense and I'd stick with past tense if I were you. I use present tense to convey a sense of immediacy, and make the reader a witness to what is happening, and past tense when a character is reflecting on events or telling someone else. I get caught out sometimes and slips are sometimes very hard to pick up when you are editing.

Ian Gosling - Lying To God - (This contains a very different take on religion. Please have a read and put it on your shelf)

Hi Jeff, interesting story you have here. Someone has already pointed out the speech marks convention to you, so I won't repeat it. I learned a few new words too, which is always a good thing. May I ask who your target audience is? For the young people I teach, who would be interested in the character of Daniel, you may be a little too erudite. Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown (a story of self-awareness and redemption but in a different genre)

This is a very different premise and I enjoyed reading the story. A clever structure and interesting. I would have read on.

Backed,

Lisa

A Fine Line

Greetings Jeff!

I enjoy the premise of your story, and you do a great job of conveying who the character of D is. If I may bring up a constructive point to enhance your manuscript: The quotation marks are reversed and placed awkwardly within your story. If I was creating a quote or character speaking- "Hey, great storyline, my friend!" -that is how the quotes would look with the punctuation inside of them. Also, there is no need to add further punctuation after the punctuation inside of the quote. example: "This would be it!" is correct, vs. "This would be it!". with the period after the quote.

I don't mean to nitpick or come across as belittling. I have had several people offer constructive points to help enhance my stories. Your storyline is good, Jeff! Hopefully we can all help hone one another's craft: As iron sharpens iron! Keep writing the good write! Backed.

<>< Shalom! ><>

Teric Darken

(K - I - L - L FM 100 / U-TURN KiLLuR)