Book Jacket

 

rank 5850
word count 18728
date submitted 12.04.2010
date updated 15.04.2010
genres: Romance, Biography, Harper True Lif...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Love Is A TKO (Total Knockout)

Christina White

Everyone has heard Fantasia Barrino's story. My story consider me as a upcoming model and writer, who has struggled with coming out of the Ghetto.

 

Love is a T.K.O. My story considers me as an upcoming model and a writer who has not yet been discovered. I have been trying for 8 yrs to become a model. I have took model classes, talent shows, photo shoots, and travel to many audition from NY,NC, and GA. I have not been discovered yet.
As a child I was forsaken by my father. I did not hear anything from him. My father was on his way to become a professional boxer, who has won many titles in the state of North Carolina, until drugs set in.
In my book, which is not finished, I set out to tell about my childhood and how it was different from Fantasia’s. Fantasia and I had gone to church with each other since we were very young. I too went to her grandmother’s church. With my biography I believe your company will gain a lot from my book. Please consider me.
My book titles are: Forsaken at Birth, Love is a TKO, A Glorious New Creation and etc. I would be delighted to let your company read my first round and third round portions, if your company is interested .

 
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tags

abuse, family, love, misunderstood

on 7 watchlists

18 comments

 

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Christina White wrote 1106 days ago

Once again I thank everyone who has backed and comment on my book. No its not at all easy to write about my life. Things have come up that has stopped me from finishing my book. Such as my computer has crashed completely. I will be getting it fixed soon. Thanks everyone.

Elizabeth Wolfe wrote 1109 days ago

You probably find it difficult to write about the problems in your life. It's pouring all your emotions out and allowing everyone to see the real you. You have a lot of grammatical issues and typos, but an editor can help you with those. Keep writing! BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

Su Dan wrote 1110 days ago

i think that biographies are difficult to write, so i will back this for that alone. you have taken great care with this and i wish you every success...on my watchlist for now...
su dan...read SEASONS, please...

Annockonda wrote 1112 days ago

Hmm..interesting story you have here and I must hasten to commend you on the premise. having said that though, here are a few pointers. Your 1st chapter is long...too long. The story has enough legs for you to break the first chapter and still keep the read interesting. Secondly, the paragraphs are also long. Tidy that up a bit. make each paragraph be a punchline. giving enough but not too much. End the chapters with something to hook the next wave of readers interest on..."Love is a TKO" would be a nice way to end chapter one. I am not a critic, I am just repeating what others had told me when my book was looking like yours with the chapters and paragraphs. Great effort though.

Christina White wrote 1113 days ago

Yes, Christina. I need to be heard!

Christina McClean wrote 1116 days ago

Powerfully told story and most importantly for me anyway is that you have something special to tell. It deserves to be heard. There will be lots of people here who can help you about the technical apects of writing, I can't, I'm learning myself but I enjoy reading your story.
All the best
another Christina
From Under the Bed

Famlavan wrote 1118 days ago

Love is a TKO

It’s always a privilege to be let in to someone’s life in this way.
At times this is very moving and brings about a great deal of introspection around m y own life.
I sense there has been a lot of thought gone into this, things like the title and the father. What is impressive is you can hear you spirit in the writing. – Thank you for the privilege.

lynn clayton wrote 1122 days ago

A dramatic and touching story which is perfect material for a best seller. Fortunately, you've written it in a very readable memoir style. Should do well. Backed. Lynn

gotiko wrote 1125 days ago

I think your pitch needs to be edited as follows:

"I have taken classes in modelling, talent shows, photo shoots, and I have travelled to many auditions in NY, NC, and GA."

"My father was on his way to becoming a professional boxer."

Use only one book title that describes your work.

Good luck.

Gabriel (It Goes On Foever)

gillyflower wrote 1125 days ago

You have a very sad, moving story. You tell us many of the things that hurt you as a child: your father boxing for a title instead of being with your mother when you were born; the names you were called at school; your longing to be a model; the time your nephew's father raped your little sister. All through this, it's good to know that you had the love and proper upbringing of your mother. You have the basis for an interesting book here. You write in a very individual style, with your own voice. Backed for potential.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

gotiko wrote 1128 days ago

The pitch needs some editing. Backed. Good luck

Gabriel (It Goes On Forever)

Christina White wrote 1132 days ago

Thanks to all who has comments for my book.

soutexmex wrote 1132 days ago

Welcome aboard, Christina. I do like Harper True Life. But I suggest editing both pitches. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

soutexmex wrote 1132 days ago

Welcome aboard, Christina I do like Harper True Life. But I suggest editing both pitches. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

jhe321 wrote 1133 days ago

I like where the story is going, I like how the title t.k.o. relates to the girls father being a title fighter. I also like that he was in a fight when she was born, you know he probably was under contract for the fight and had to fight or pay a huge severance for not being there. The fact that the father does not know if the girl is his daughter is sad, he has two other children with this woman and now he believes she is cheating on him and wants a blood test to prove that the child is his, thats a little bit sad. I also found it sad that the girls half sister was the princess in his eyes. The death of the sister in the end was tragic also, brought a tear to my eye, finished with chapter 1 will get to chapter 2 tomorrow possibly and leave you some more feedback.

Burgio wrote 1133 days ago

This is an interesting story. You need some basic editing: spelling and punctuation in both your pitch and the story itself, but aside from that, it feels like one of those stories that has been pounding at your brain to be written. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Ransom Heart wrote 1134 days ago

Christina -- Excellent analogy of the baby pushing to get out of the uterus and the punching of the boxer in the ring. You have plenty of literary ability. Just clean up the misspellings and incorrect verb tenses and you'll be on your way. The spellcheck/grammar check function on your Word program will catch a lot of these. However, it's OK to speak in colloquial, conversational terms in the way that you'd ordinarily talk.

Some of the streams of thought aren't necessarily connected to the point you were making. For example, you say that after your little sister's rape," . . . things went back to normal. One thing that I learned for all this is, never trust the one you sleep with . . . " I'm not sure how this is a sign of normalcy. If anything, what you're really saying is that nothing was normal after that. This is something for you to think about as you revise. I'm riveted by your storytelling and I encourage you to pursue your dream. Backed earlier. Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

SusieGulick wrote 1134 days ago

Dear Christina, I love biography & romance because they are real. :) Your blurb is a good because it prepared me to read your book. Your story is well written because you create interest, as I enter each paragraph (you may want to cut the into several pararagraphs for an easier read, so you don't lose your audience), which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)

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