Tryin To Figure It Out

Love this raw, humorous caper! A world away from where I live but an amazing experience. This needs a bit of gentle work but I think it deserves to be published.
Andrea

The first chapter was hilarious. "A walking dichotomy." I know teenagers just like that. The book is good, but you have to do some editing. I think that it can be published, and do well, but right now, it's kind of everywhere. It needs to be tightened up a bit.

So, now where did you get a ghetto son from? And Mya's not far behind. This is so funny. My four year old granddaughter is like that. Not around ghetto folks, and she is putting on her 7-year old brother's pants so she can sag! She says she is going to be a rap star. We live no where near a ghetto, but I think the problem lies in her genes. My ex, her grandfather's genes - pure ghetto. I tell everyone I know, check out the gene pool before you procreate.

I love this book. Keep me updated as you edit and if you need any help, I'll be glad to do it.

Abby

Extremely funny and well written, Tongue in cheek brilliance. A good read all round.

Extremely funny and well written, Tongue in cheek brilliance. A good read all round.

This is so funny! Truly a pleasure to read! I've been gobbling it like candy. Your voice is so clear and the story you tell is so outrageous. Really good stuff! Thanks!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Caught my attention! Will comment after reading a few chapters!

Please go visit Finger Bones. Revert to your inner child!

Sara Stinson
Finger Bones

Dear How to Fail Supporter,

Here at the How to Fail support team we have been greatly encouraged by the developing lack in failure of our book’s progress, thanks to the ongoing support of all our members. You’re support too has not gone unnoticed. Please let us make you fully aware of our gratitude and thanks for all your kind efforts and everything you have done in continuing to partner with us.

It’s is our hope, dream and wish that soon everyone will be able to know how to fail, in a way that they have never known before; so that others will only be able to look on in awe at what a complete mess they have made of their lives.

Yours faithfully,
The team

Well I think most of us can relate to wanting to punch other people in the face on a fairly regular basis, so I do not think you’re alone on that score. This makes your pitch extremely appealing, and of course very funny too.

I am so sorry, but what the heck is that on the book jacket? I feel like a dodo not knowing what that is.

This is desperately black humour at a very high level. Much of this is terribly painful and all of it is told in a sassy, smart-assed way. So it’s both very funny and very, very sad. I feel for this person wanting the best for her kids, and seeing so much less than that. I also see that this is a courageous person and a very funny one.

These are excellent combinations. This has incredible spirit and verve. It's really admirable.

Best of luck to you, from
Eileen

Yikes! Sorry, didn't mean to take you off ye ole shelf. Now you're ye ole back.

happily backing again

jim

still on my shelf...and starred
Lizzie :-0

Crazy Mama,

After having Tryin To Figure It Out on my shelf over a year, I figured now was the time to finally give it a deeper peek.

Honestly, I didn't read the last chapter to find out if anything was figured out on your end, but I did read enough to get a general idea of the tone. It's sad to hear about so much of the stuff you went through, but hopefully you are a much better person now. Someone did say they hoped you blogged if you always have so much to say. I agree to it and would love that blog addy if so. As somebody else also said, it's great you have your own voice for a book like this rather than trying to make a thinly-veiled novel which might get convoluted or have to sum up with a neat bow before it ended.

There is a cross section who I'm sure are a built-in audience for this novel; especially females who had similar experiences as yours, or maybe even some who can read this book and get the courage to make their not-so-great husband an EX as you did.

Good luck with climbing the charts - just a little bit more to reach the top.

Hey there. Thought I'd reback your very original work. You use your own voice!

blessings,
jim

hmmm, like it, but it does a lot of speechifying and justifying, often it seems like the narrator is covering her bases, anticipating her readers questions and knocking down their criticism, reminds me of a collection of domestic editorials, or nowadays a blog, it creates a picture of a housewife who has battled to keep her family and her sanity, and she is heroic and woth sympathy and empathy, all along though it seems like there is something she is avoiding, and i am not sure what it it, i only read about the first ten chapters, she is admirable, but is there something in a deep faith in the status quo that is tripping her up, something she doesn't see about the culture and society she lives in she doesn't question, i wonder if she covers all the bases, interesting read, i will rate it high, lanquage is good, inventive, and above all it communitcates, that is what good writing does, i will rate it high, keep it on my watch list, i probably will back it in the future after some thought or more reading, if you could would you take a look at one of my pieces

Oh boy, this is a great read. I started out with chapter one, and being in the UK, a lot of the lingo just went whizzing over my head. I thought "Oh, no I just don't get this....!" but something made me take another look at chapter 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6..I could read more but i want to ponder what you write. I love what you write about depression in chapter 4 (23rd January) for instance, because you nail the ambiguity, the exuberance in dismal bliss. All you say just fits. And it get better. Like another commentator, I thought this worked on several levels, as a book, or as a series of short pieces. Quite gripping. Perhaps without chapter 1...? All the best, highly rated and on my WL. This is one i would buy! Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

hi mama,
It's me again. The last paragraph of chapter 16, made me laugh and cry simultaneously, and I have a girl friend right beside me, who is soooooo jealous of you, did all efforts to not only compose, but continue to chapter seventeen, to read aloud like the other chapters.

hi mama, I read more than 2000 books in my whole F- able life. never been this desperate to read. please unhook me

here I am again. I started reading , then reading., then reading. It's a great reading cause it's a great writing. Crazy Mama makes so tough emotional ordeal, as a readable comedy on surface. I think I am half way through. Will write again after I finish reading.

OMG!!! Not only hilarious but very deep, I truly loved your first 3 chaps, which I read and hurt myself laughing at chap 1 but could not stop reading. You need to be published for sure.

What'z up Crazy Mama,
interesting read. backed and rated. Expecting the favor to my book 'Ozoneraser'

You remind me of an uban Erma Bombeck. I can see this as a series of articles. Have you tried submission to magazines or newspapers? Not that I'm discouraging a book. The content is great. It reads to me, though, like a series - something I'd relish having to wait a week or so for the next taste. Obviously, some of the language would have to be cleaned up, but I think that would be an easy fix without losing the guts of the writing. Chapter 4 is a perfect example.

By the way, I have absolutely nothing against words of any kind as long as they have a place in the story. Not an intended plug, but my memoir is a testament to that statement. I only say that because I mentioned mainstream publication.

Nicely done! Love the opening - selling the baby clothes. Genius.

Kim
Crystal Clean

Love your book. Absolutely hilarious. You are definitely on your way to the desk.

hi Crazy Mamma ' tryin to figure it out '

a most enjoyable and amusing read, chapters crisp and page turning
gave me a happy feeling when reading, great stuff
deserves to be published
i give it six stars,
good luck
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'

hi Crazy Mamma ' tryin to figure it out '

a most enjoyable and amusing read, chapters crisp and page turning
gave me a happy feeling when reading, great stuff
deserves to be published
i give it six stars,
good luck
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'

Hi Mama. I've written a couple of times before so I don't have anything new to say. I finally finished. Great, great book and I'm happy for you.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hey there "Crazy Mama!" I spent some time reading your book. What a hoot! You're hilarious, but in a very real way. You speak in a down-to-earth way to down-to-earth people. Everyone has a "crazy mama" side to them, even us men, but we're not mamas! If you know what I mean, we just all have parts of our lives where we need to hear someone else tell it like it is to keep us in touch with reality. I think you have accomplished that here with your book. I was on chapter 10 when it stopped loading the chapters for me. I couldn't read any more, and the chapter links weren't working. Maybe you were editing it at that time, but I'll go ahead and give you some feedback as far as grammar, and what not.

Chapter 1 and 2: I laughed my butt off reading these two chapters. You do a great job pulling your readers into your story. Good job.

Chapter 2: Second to last sentence, "My sons an offender" — should be "son's"

Chapter 3: I'm not sure what it means when you say, "I am angry anymore." Is it supposed to read like that? I'm probably just not getting the humor of it or something... that's common of me.

"Everyones angry and annoyed as me" —should be "Everyone's"

Second to last sentence, "to make me not want to pinch people in the face" — do you mean "punch" instead of "pinch"?

Chapter 5: "I thought I was ever going to see" —should be "never"

Chapter 8: "his Father loves him more." —I had to re-read this, because I think you're talking about his Heavenly Father, but since you didn't specify that, I wasn't sure.

Chapter 9: Hey, could you do some shopping for me? haha, that would be great! You could just email me and I'll send you a list of small things I would like... or one big thing. It's up to you. K? :-)

Your language is not sophisticated, but at the same time it's very descriptive. Those who read this will be able to identify in some way and connect with you as a person. They will want to know more about this crazy mama, and most of all, they might just feel normal for the first time. I thought by the use of "punch in the face" you might title this book, "I'll punch you in the face!" That's so funny. And your EX... wow! How did you ever live with him without actually punching him in the face? Or poking him in the eye?

I like your use of sarcasm and satire and wit. I feel like I'm getting a glimpse of your own personality when I read. Your sense of life and the reality with it all spells out clearly, as well as your relationship with God. It is clear to your readers that you don't claim to have everything figured out, and that you don't have a perfect relationship with Jesus, but you want to. You wished it would be different, but you're not going to put on an act and pretend things are different. You're going to be you, and you're going to give that to God and let Him work on you throughout life. And that's not a bad thing. Good story telling and humoring!

PS. I hope you're still enjoying that MAC!

Thanks for sharing!
Jonathan, THINC About It

Crazy Mama, Thank you! Thank you for telling it like it is--at least on some part of every day for all of us, I suspect. You're the Erma Bombeck of where it's really at. I've read 7 chapters and will come back for more. I'm giving you some stars and putting you on my watch list. Could you find a few minutes to look at TO CATCH A SPECKLED TROUT? I'd appreciate your comments. Thank you, breath of fresh air, Barbara

I began reading the first chapter as I was adding it to my watchlist. How funny! I'll definitely be coming back to read the rest of it!

Jonathan, THINC About It

With one glance at the first chapter I knew I was in for a rollorcosaster ride. You write with a dry and witty style which makes me smile. The more the phrase 'ghetto' was repeated the more i sensed both your paranoia and your angst, I will definately continue to read this book as it brings a smile to my face.
Best of Luck,
Emmalena
xx
(Please check out my story of a midlife crisis of a different kind:
http://www.authonomy.com/books/31201/ginsterpigs/)
xx

I nearly peed myself just from your first few paragraphs. Best of luck with this. When you get that pill, send me one. (lol)

Crazy Mama,
By the middle of the first chapter, i was hooked. I think your book is a reflection of most of us and just for that, most people will want to read it. It's hilarious, and i especially enjoyed the snow bit :).
Will rate and put on WL, as my shelf is just a little busy right now.
Best of luck and God bless.
Maria
:Dark of the Moon".

hi crazy mama,
very punchy and well written. I missed a change of some sort, as she seems to continue her chaotic life quite willingly. And I don't mean increased church-going, but something beyond. America seems to go through a transitional stage where people feel that they are doing wrong by not loving God, but lack the faith to find him in a daily life setting. I feel your MC carries a lot of healthy ideas, yet no solution is coming forward to lift her out of that misery. Or is it? Some people will probably read this and like it because they like cheetos. I valued the social comment which is presented in a humorous way. Already backed.
Ame
The Ponderer's Box

Crazy Mama,
I'm Tryin to Figure It Out myself, so to speak. The in-your-face realism of your prose full of Jerry-Springer characterizations invites a look with special lenses. Is this all dark humour or is this a therapeutic exercise for the reader who might be in a bind similar to that of the narrator? You've certainly produced a remarkable book to be watched and followed. I'm going to give you four stars and wish you all the best.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

My wife wanted me to back this book, but I had to read a little bit of it first. I thought I wouldn't relate - but I did! Laughed my mid-western male, white-bread ass off! I recommend!

Hey Crazy Mama... you got me here... gotta love dis stuff...

****** good luck!! ;-))

AJ,
AKA... you guessed... crazy pappa...

Crazy Mama,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

sorry the reading swap took so long, sometimes life just get's in the way

Welllllllll.....

what can one say.....this is very funny and very original

Some of my favorites:

"I'll Willz....
that entire lingo infested paragraph is very original

"You have hear of highly....."
I am still laughing

"strategy parked Chevy Capri's.."
my wife's wondering why I am laughing so hard...

"looked so hood...."
laughing

"soon to be felon...."
now that's aspirational thinking

Hysterically funny

David

I love how realistic your writing style is! After reading through half of your story I can really tell that you took some time studying how people talk, act, and interact in their different environments. Also, the story is told from a woman who is mentally insane -- you reflect this in your writing as well. The only negative I have about your story is that it seems to jump around a bit and doesn't flow as freely as I had hoped when reading this. Is that because of her mental instability, or just the writing method you chose to use while writing it?

Overall, your book is very entertaining. For that, I gladly put it on my bookshelf!

Have a good one and hope to hear back from you soon!

-- C.W. Peickert (Darwinian Haste novel)

Hi CM,

Thanks for sharing “Tryin’ To Figure it Out.”

Your pitch needs some work. The short pitch is too wordy and doesn’t have the impact you need. Maybe try 2 shorter sentences? It’s no wonder Crazy Mama wants to punch people in the face. Is there a pill for this?

It seems you’re switching from past to present tenses throughout the long pitch, and the sentences are complex and conversational in structure. With a pitch, you might want to use high impact, shorter sentences:

Crazy Mama just wants to punch someone in the face. And why not? A felon-junkie son in prison. A daughter with a penchant for riff-raff. Five other kids who think she’s a maid. And a delusional dog who loves to roll in dead things (or whatever). The Ex is finally gone, off to his land of passive aggressive perfection, and things are finally looking up.

So why does she still want to punch people in the face?

Of course you’d do it your way (or not at all); I’m just trying to give an example.

As is my way, I skipped the beginning and read farther back. I like the tone of your work a lot; it’s going to resonate with a lot of Christian women who get sick of the tidy little church moms with the organically pasted-on smiles who deliver natural and never curse, even when their kids just spilled red kool-aid on the carpet.

I’m not sure about the marketability, because a lot of your blogs read like essays. I think most books formatted like blogs have a plot arc. I may be missing the arc, since I’m not reading the whole thing, but if it’s there, it’s way in the background. Anyway, the eds can deal with the market issues – I will back it. I’m switching my bookshelf around on Monday, and I’ll try to keep you there for the rest of the month since you’re making the push.

Trying to figure it out.
ROTFLMAO!
Okay, a satirical piece. Well written with tongue-in-cheek humor.
Be careful, you might wet your pants reading this!
Raechel
Echo

This well written piece of satire, unfortunaltely, probably has some sad truths attached. I’m sure many who appreciate this genre will find this an enjoyable read. You can obviously write, and humour is difficult to pull off well.
I wish you all the best with it, and I am happy to back to help you to get closer to the desk, I usually help anyone out that wants it in the last couple of weeks before the end of the month. This month I’m backing Marita’s book.
Just send me a message to remind me, and I’ll help out next month.
Cheers Jacoba

That American T.V blockbuster 'Roots' kept springing to mind while reading 'Trying To Figure It Out.' Recent American history demonstrates, if the story is anything to go by, that slavery is still fashionable in the land of the free. The chains are one's own family, the slave auction's got to be the divorce and the plantation (place of work) thats just the day to day living. The plot centres around a dysfuntional family, the POV from the highly stressed mother, trying to keep her depression at bay.

No attempt is made to clutter up the story with indepth descriptions, nor does the story abound with dialogue, it is comprised mostly of discourse. I assume like the Shirley Valentine concept but more tongue in cheek, a lot more humour. Not my kind of story being more into science fiction, but for the slave drivers and their slaves its an excellent story. Things certainly have changed since 'The Waltons' could the blue ridge mountains now be referred to as the 'hood.'

Backed with pleasure
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.


Chapter three typo: So I'm heading back to the doctor to get some pills to make me not want to pinch (punch) people in the face real hard,

Hi
This is certainly different.....an unusual style but very catchy. The disappointment in her children and the draw of the ghetto is tangible. It is also very funny.

I would really appreciate it if you would take a look at Marking Time. Also a comedy and also unusual.
Crispy

I've ****** rated this. This is great! Even the short pitch is hilarious. I love this part, too: "Based on a true story, you’ll either find out how normal your life is or that you’re not alone" what a great way to seal the deal and make people want to read this! I also like the style of how this is written. GREAT work!

:-) Hope you're well!

jim

This is a very healthy book; laughing is good for us, and this is funny stuff. I will definately read on, for now, I have rated your book highly. BTW I agree, the more it looks like a blog, the better.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

I've read 7 chapters so far, because that was all I had time for today. But, if I didn't like your story I would've stopped after chapter 1. And I think you deserve your place in this chart, and to climb a lot higher, because your story is interesting/good/makes me turn those cyber pages. And it's a rather original autobiographical take.

I like the natural way you write, the hood, gangsta speak. It works just right without interfering with the reader's understanding. It gives your story the right flavour for the context/setting/people. I was about to say characters, but this isn't so with your story as they are real, and they feel real as I read them. I can just imagine Ills walking past me, and it does help that I have seen guys like Ills. Their pants hanging halfway down their arse, their boxers showing way too much, tats up and down their arms, sometimes on their faces, that raised chin followed by, "Hi, how ya doin'? You wanna get together, babe?" Those guys are real. Though, in regards to Ills (when he's out), he better keep that definition of M.O.B quiet if he's wants to hook up with any females :)

Your son is quite a character, wonderful to read about, but not so wonderful to see when those bars go across your child's face. Every family has a rebel, the one that just does their own thing, whether it gets them into shit or not. But we still love them, and stress over them just that much more.

I think what makes your story thus far, other than your interesting broad, is your humor. (White as toilet paper, etc. etc...) Although life in these situations are far from humorous, if one can't laugh at oneself life would be one big depressed-fest. And I think you also got a lot of guts putting yourself out there, labeling this as a Harper True Life story. I give you props for that, because I couldn't, I'd get my butt kicked by my family :)

I'm not going to make any suggestions for change, because I couldn't see anything wrong. If this was a book in my hands, and not a damn computer screen in front of my face making my eyes want to pop, I'd be reading a helluva lot more in one sitting. All the best - Marita. P.S. Perfect genre for this website as Harper True Life seems to have more luck than others in getting noticed. Fingers crossed for you.

Sense of humour is great, sounded lika a blog but isn't quite written like it. No date no title. If you want people to think they're blog entires, ad the extras to make it look like one.

And yes, there are people I want to punch in the head too.

Backed.

Jewels
Life and Death Adventures in London

You certainly can write humor. Natural wit and humorous perception are in every turn of the story. I'm not sure what I'd do in that situation--probably get myself a shrink or turn myself into an insane asylum. ;)
I wish you all the best with your writing! It's good for a laugh!

--Shieldmaiden

Thank you ever so much for the backing lady, I am humbled.

You really are a funny writing woman. I'm British, so our 'Gangsta's' and 'Hoods' are a liitle different here (although many do model themselves on the Yankee style) but I've watched enough American movies, rap & hip hop videos to visualise everything as you write, so funny.

I've only just begun writing just over 2 weeks ago, so I'm in absolutely no position to crit your prose, pov or anything like that, just here as a reader.

I'm not into the dragons, kings and magic wands (damn that jk rowling) so this is VERY much my cup of tea.

This dawg is laughing all the way to a backing for this once I've honoured my current shelf commitments. Full stars too.

Sir Daniel.

The DEAD Bloc.

I have re-backed your book with pleasure. Having been away from the site after illness - I lost so much ground I have lost interest in the site to a large degree. Good luck. Eunice - The Temple dancer.