Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 18333
date submitted 19.04.2010
date updated 25.09.2013
genres: Non-fiction, Popular Culture, Comed...
classification: moderate
incomplete

STREET SMART DATING

John Harold McCoy

Learn the tricky secrets on how you can be playing doctor in a dingy motel, pronto.

 

Ok... you're 5 feet tall, weigh three hundred and ninety pounds, have a flat head, a hunchback, and your dog won't play with you unless you've got food. Is there any hope? Damned straight there is. Just take Uncle John's advice and you'll be breathing heavy in the back seat of a late model crew-cab pickup truck in no time.

 
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tags

, dating, funny, getting dates, hilarious, humor, meeting girls, meeting guys, relationships, romance, sex, the opposite sex

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811 comments

 

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HarperCollins Wrote

STREET SMART DATING is a non-fiction title; a how-to-guide covering the basics of getting a date. Though there are points of good sense weaved in, the advice, in general, is not to be taken too seriously. The counsel covers both male and female quandaries; however, there’s a strong male tone to narrator’s voice, and the title would be far more marketable to a male readership. The quirky nature of the content, as well as the breadth of the topics covered – from GENESIS to nudist beaches – would lend itself well to illustrations (possibly taking the simple line drawing/caricature approach popularised by comic blog/books such as CYANIDE AND HAPPINESS).

How-to-guides for dating are abundant, and I like the fact that you’ve taken this traditional model and parodied it. STREET SMART DATING is refreshing in a world saturated with websites and books promising to offer all the answers to romantic problems. However, I do not feel that this alone is a strong enough selling point. Some issues to address:

At times, the jokes in this book push a little too far past “political correctness”, particularly when it comes to women. There were points where I felt offense could be too easily taken for any publisher to consider publishing the comments; for instance, where you objectify the women of Florida – saying that they are for “use of Native Floridians only”. That said, often in these instances the comments could be toned back to create some genuinely funny and original passages.

On the whole, you stereotype a little too much in your construction of gender. Today, few people would accept that gender classification is a dichotomy as black and white as you often suggest. Some acknowledgement of the parts of society that don’t fit into the models you construct is necessary to save this book from seeming old-fashioned and closed minded.

Ultimately, this is a difficult title to review. Whilst STREET SMART DATING can be an amusing read at times, and, at other times, offers some genuinely valuable guidance, there’s not enough here to make it a strong proposition. I see from the authonomy page for this title that STREET SMART DATING began as a website. Web pages are a great way to build a fan base for books and kick start writing projects. However, I think that this title really would work much better as a blog. If it were to gain public / media attention, a publisher might consider a traditional book spinning off from this – likely to cater largely for current fans, rather than with the intention of reaching a significant new readership. However, before it would be picked up the fan base would need to be significant. Looking at the website, the interface could be improved, and the content updated. My recommendation would be to go back to the roots of this project and work on these foundations.

MillieC wrote 1202 days ago

Okay Uncle John, I have read six chapters.
Six is what I insisted upon (I am a six on your scale so wanted to give you the benefit) and because I was, disgustingly and beyond reason, fascinated by your logic, or lack thereof. There is a definite addictiveness to the way you write and I couldn't help but feel that you knew what you were talking about..even though I knew it was crap!
Okay, so I am being contradictory, so sue me, I am a woman and we do and say shit because that is the way we are made, right? After all it is what we do best.

So did I like it? Mnnn, not sure is the answer, but maybe it is because you are a disgusting pig? Maybe it is because you didn't try hard enough or maybe it's because I am 'bi', after all we all are aren't we, us girls I mean. Or so you say in chapter whatever...

LOL

Yes I did enjoy it, as a good laugh, not as a bible for relationships, that would be really sad. Am going to finish it when I get time, sprnkle it with stardust now and shelve when I have nothing better to put up. ;)

Hey, if this seems a bit harsh, deal with it ; I am being honest. If you are hurt, sorry but that is the way the cookie crumbles. If you, like me, find this kind of stuff fascinating, then you should read on...it IS fun, just please, please please do not take it too seriously!

Well done, Uncle John and remember God (you know who she is) and Jesus will get you one day for the blasphemy!! LOL

Millie C

Almost_Lady_Onogoro wrote 1301 days ago

FINISH YOUR BOOK RIGHT NOW PLEASE!!! I NEED TO GIVE IT TO ALL THE DUFFERS WHO I SHOULD NOT GO OUT WITH BUT DO GO OUT WITH BECAUSE I AM A FEMALE WHO IS TOO POLITE TO SAY "EFF OFF!!" TO.
Educational and entertaining


Elizabeth.NYC wrote 1261 days ago

This is the most hilarious and clever book, and I'm really thrilled I'm not one of the characters (aka subjects...victims...whatever...hahahaha). There could not be a funnier opening than God and Adam in this story. It's the kind of thing that makes your jaw drop and you think, what the f**** - this guy's got BALLS to write this. I love how John is not afraid to travel to the edges--even cross boundaries that others would think are better obeyed. Now, a part of me wants to believe this story, and a part of me hopes men don't really think this way. :) That internal debate makes me very happy I left the dating circuit to get married.

I've read the authors previous work, which is a different type of story but funny, too, so I feel confident to say we have a comic genius here on Authonomy. If he gets one star for every laugh, he will own the sky.

Lizzi
(Out of Sync)

liza042810 wrote 1274 days ago

I just couldn't help it.... I had originally put this on my watchlist to get to in a couple of days, but since it's after midnight and I'm half falling asleep, my mind kept wandering back to this book. Dude.. it's freakin' hilarious! I love the first two parts where God is a man and then the flipside where God is a woman.

Is this published anywhere because if it is, I want to buy it. This would definitely be one for the hard copy collection!

BACKED WITH LAUGHTER THAT BROUGHT ME TEARS AND STITCHES!!!

Liza Gonzalez
-Keepers

Robyn Quaker wrote 249 days ago

STREET SMART DATING by John Harold McCoy
So funny and refreshing.
Robyn Quaker
Halfpennies AndBlue Vinyl

Carol Repton wrote 355 days ago

I can see why you have a disgusting-looking, male chauvinist pig as your avatar, John, but I couldn't help laughing! Your book is clearly gender-biased, and I can also see why HC says it may be too non-PC to be publishable. But maybe they are wrong, in this age of blogs?...It's still funny, in a kind of gross way. You could probably publish it as an e-book.
Uncle John has obviously done his research, as a lot of his points about women are very true e.g. they can "stir shit even where no actual shit exists" (ha ha!)
Anyway, having said all that, I'm going to give it quite a few stars, just for making me laugh.
Carol
Worst Case Scenario

Lyn4ny wrote 414 days ago

STREET SMART DATING is a very humorous approach here to the dating world. I really enjoyed the first two chapters. It's an easy read flow with great creativity. It's funny, smart, keeps you on your feet and written in an intelligent way. It's uniquely written and well thought out. I will get back to it soon, as my time is limited here but High Stars from me. Thanks for sharing this very funny piece with us. Good luck to you!

-Lyn
Forty-Four Footprints Following Me
-Surviving Manic Depression- My Story & The Real Truth on Managing It

LiamHumphreys wrote 431 days ago

This is actually hilarious. Stumbled across this today, and it's honestly just cheered my day right up. Couldn't stop laughing.
Please add more to this it's great, guaranteed to make anyone laugh, from the walking penis with a brain, to the shit stirring slightly bi lesbian.

MJ Gleason wrote 456 days ago

This is a scream. Congratulations on making rank. Your comments or WL for Summer Of WCXC would mean a lot from someone of such a writing caliber.

ksgirl wrote 492 days ago

At first. . . I was a little offended. Then, curiousity stuck with me and I continued to read. Now, I'm laughing and ready to read more! I already have a list of people that will enjoy this (and I have only read the first chapter so far). The first chapter has provoked a roller coaster of emotions (or is it "stirring" and "bizarre female behavior"). Can't wait to read more!

levielm wrote 516 days ago

I could have used this in college. Too late now, married 40 years....yes, to the same woman. Will put on WL to read this week. JK :)

Beasly wrote 562 days ago

are you kidding me?

Charlie James wrote 657 days ago

Very funny. Ignore the hc chap about it being too much. I liked it. Butnthen I'm a deviant who has written about a superhero called pornoman...

Anyway, I could see this as a christmas book or similar. Very enjoyable. I'd have backed if there was a point, but six stars nonetheless.

riantorr wrote 752 days ago

Extraordinary!

Regards,
Rian Torr
New London Masquerade

Michelle Williamson wrote 762 days ago

I think you are the naughtiest friend I know.

jlsimpson wrote 775 days ago

Awesome.

Gravity_Basher wrote 843 days ago

G'day John

Enjoyed reading your book. A few pearlers and I had no problems with your delivery. In fact I think it adds to the writing to cut the political constraints and serve it up hot.

I've just uploaded a book with a similar style, however it's my travel diary taken from a 3yr trip around the world. It's pretty offensive, but I'm confident you won't have a problem with that (?).

Be interested to hear your thoughts, it's called: In the End, Gravity Wins.

Cheers mate, thanks for the read and glad to see you got a crack at the desk.

Catherine Edmunds wrote 935 days ago

Wonderfully absurd. I was hooked from the 'finger in the dyke' phrase on, and have enjoyed dipping into this book hugely. Very, very funny. I came over to have a look as I've been enjoying your comments on the forum. I've not been disappointed. Thank you!

Declan Conner wrote 951 days ago

Political correctness ... censorship? I can only cite the eBook "Dating my Vibrator" a 17500 word short story compilation narrated from the authors POV from her experiences of dating and having a strong humorous tone in putting down males. In a short space of time she has sold more than 20,000 eBooks.

sumit.agarwal1107 wrote 951 days ago

Congrats on making it to the haper's review.....will have to read the book....guess its interesting, else wudn't had made to the review...

iandsmith wrote 952 days ago

Thanks for this valuable insight. - Ian D Smith THE MARQUIS OF QUEENSBURY RULES, OKAY.

Closet Writer wrote 952 days ago

Thanks for making your review public!

SC Dwinnell, "From the Chyrsalis"

EMDelaney wrote 953 days ago

STREET SMART DATING (Comment update 9/9/2011)

Gosh, Uncle John, I do believe it was suggested that you have crossed over the line of, what was it again(?), Political Correctness(?). You better go back and fix that.

I stand in opposition to the opinion of the editor as I think STREET SMART DATING will sell tens of thousands of copies to various individuals, both male and female, who like to laugh at themselves, the personnification of the commoner who dates and the other fine offered humerous material in this book.

Just saying.....

Narcissus wrote 953 days ago

I, for one, am thankful that the Harper/Collins review reflected my thoughts on this manuscript, to a "T"...

smgonline wrote 982 days ago

The best part that makes you keep reading, besides the humour, is the consistently overriding theme that you're sharing this from a place where you don't have anything against anyone from any walk of life finding their own happiness.

jollyoldsaint wrote 989 days ago

Oh yeah, this is on my watchlist. Thanks for the laughs.

jollyoldsaint wrote 989 days ago

Chapter 2..."do you like quiche?" Dude, I'm cryin' here.

Flamestar wrote 991 days ago

Great job! Hope you get a good comment from the editor!

M.P.FRY wrote 992 days ago

Congrats on your arrival to the editors desk.

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 993 days ago

I came back to read more after a respectful interval away only to find that the pace never lets up and the standard is constant throughout. It would have been nice to find something to criticise damn it. I suppose I'd better star-rate it now. Great stuff.

budly wrote 993 days ago

Great shoot-from-the-hip style. Laughed on page 1.

Flamestar wrote 994 days ago

WOOOOO!!!! Number five in less than two days to go! GO STREET SMART DATING! Good luck!!!! :D

nigel gilbert wrote 996 days ago

Jesus (THE MALE ONE), Ican't belive you got into the top five then dropped out, or did I miss something? We need more readers and backers. Can you back twice, or is that not allowed???
Just publish it!
Nige ;-)

yahoobooker wrote 997 days ago

My friend Kari pointed me in your direction, all the best - yahoobooker!!

Rebecca Tester wrote 998 days ago

There are many nuggets of truth to the humor here. If you could clean up the formatting a little (probably looks better in your Word file), it should be made required reading for those under 17 and all those looking ;-)

Flamestar wrote 998 days ago

Hahaha this was amazingly funny. I've read a few chapters and plan on reading the rest. It is funny, and surprisingly some of it is true! The perspectives on the men and woman are UTTERLY true. I've heard some of these things from guys themselves, and my girl friends say some of the same things. You have the ability to make people laugh and smile, and that is really amazing! You capture the humor and that makes people read onwards! Hope you get back on the desk, I'd reaaaalllly like to see this on shelves. This is truely a book I'd bye. By the Way.... This is great for teens ;)

-Flamestar

Karen Eisenbrey wrote 998 days ago

John,

This is mostly good common sense laced with humor and attitude. The brevity of the chapters works in your favor -- a reader could pick it up and read a chapter in a couple of minutes, without a big commitment, kind of like a coffee date. The advice is solid with just the right amount of snark -- you seem to know what you're talking about and how to keep it fun, which would make for an entertaining date. I'm the proverbial mom, trying to raise nice guys, so I loved all the mom stuff.

The first two chapters didn't work as well as what came after. Chapter 1 didn't fit the tone of the rest of the book, and it just wasn't funny enough to make up for the mean-spiritedness, veering perilously close to misogyny. If your audience is supposed to be men and women, but your first chapter is aimed only at men (or deliberately offends women), you'll lose at least half your audience. You either have to offend everybody equally, or be a whole lot funnier right out of the gate. Chapter 2 seemed out of place -- it might work better later, after you've established your tone.

Not a lot of nitpicks. In chapter 9, you use the word "estuarial" where I think you meant "estrogen." If it was meant to be a joke, it didn't work. Maybe your spellchecker pranked you. At the end of chapter 10, you have "OPPS" where I think you want "OOPS." Oh, the irony . . .

Good luck with this!

Karen Eisenbrey
CRANE'S WAY
TIME SQUARED

Zucchera wrote 998 days ago

Hey, I've read the first three chapters and I have a few things to day.

One. You've really got the satire thing down. Even though the below is still true, I smiled at some parts because of the way you worded them. Also, there is some true stuff in here, which is always good in a satirical piece :)

Two. It's not really my thing. I like humorous dating books - since I have no interest in the real thing - but it has just a little too much.... I don't know. It's too focused on sex for me. And that's just my taste in books. Also maybe because I'm a girl.

Three. My taste in books set aside, your writing flows well and it was easy to read. I always think about the story and the writing separately when I critique, and that way it's easy to find the things I like. So I'll put it this way. You're a good writer. I just didn't like this particular book.

Still I wish you good luck on getting back to the desk - that's gotta be frustrating >.> Keep writing!

~Laura

Laura Bailey wrote 999 days ago

Ha ha ha! Almost unbelievably that you can get away with this but clearly you can, as I read on and on! You have made my jaw drop and made me laugh out loud at my desk. I'm not sure what else to say about this except I'd recommend it for a great giggle. I'm sure this will be picked up and I hope you make the ED!

Good luck,

Laura
Beneath The Blossom Tree

kookicat wrote 999 days ago

Skimmed the first chapter, and like this very much. Backed to give you a nudge onto the desk. :)

Juliusb wrote 1000 days ago

Hello John,

You have made my day reading your STREET SMART DATING chapter:

“Generally, we all tend to judge life, people and things, on a scale of about 1 to 10. In everyday life, we shy away from things that are 1's, and don't really expect things that are 10's. We pretty much live in a world of 5's, and, the majority of us are perfectly happy with that,” – gem piece.

“How fat (from 1 to 10)? Can you get down to at least a 5? Why not? How bad do you want it? Actually, there are many men/women who prefer fat men/women, so if you feel comfortable with your weight, don't worry about it; they will find you,” – reality

“Pick one, or stay with the ugly, unhappy, lonely, fat people in new cars—stupid,” – [laughing ribs out]

“Are you a dumbass (from 1 to 10)? Surely, you can make it to a 5. If not, you're probably a happy idiot already,” – urarahhhhhhhh!

“Again, the world is a happy 5, and although it's a long way from a 1 to a 10, it ain't that far from a 1 to a 5, and that's where most of us are happy. Mindset is your biggest enemy. If you sit around telling yourself you're a 1 or a 2, and thinking there's nothing you can do about it and you'll never have a mate (mindset), then you're lost. Anybody who looks vaguely human can, with a little time and some sacrifices, make themself into a happy, loveable 5 ...and 5's get lucky all the time,” Good consolation.


I will indeed use your "Getting Dates" website as referral to my failed clients.

Surely, your STREET SMART DATING is lovely and wish you success with.


JULIUS B [Destined to Triumph]

Tonia Marlowe wrote 1001 days ago

The dating stuf book is grate i reckin it ul do reely well, you no, but i dont think sum peple wil lik it much becos of the jokes an that, you no, at the begning but its reely funny and that, innit. evrybodys shood put it on there shef NOW

Thak U. an sory 4 bad speling but im only 10 an suk at spell

Ditzydana wrote 1004 days ago

LOL!!! OMG. This is awesome! I am addicted!

MrHallett wrote 1007 days ago

This is one of the most Politically incorrect books I have ever read but I have to admit that I burst out laughing so many times. When Adam muttered, "up yours dude, these animals get really pissed when I try that stuff," I realised I had to read all of Uncle John's book.

I imagine some women may find dear old John rather offensive but as I read I had to laugh. Your writing really reminded me of Tucker Max, which I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. Also some of the advice for the women, I thought was rather obvious and trite. Nonetheless I had a permanent grin as I read your book. I especially loved Uncle John's advice for meeting dates:

"The Frisbee: Chuck it around at the target for a conversation. If this doesn't work, throw it at somebody else till one does - Slam it into enough people and eventually it will work." When I read this I laughed so hard.

I also loved John's advice for the ugly hunchback. It was so offensive, yet so funny and perfectly encapsulates your book:
5 foot tall, flat head, hunch-back: Is there any hope for me? Can I ever get a date?
Dear old Uncle John: Damned straight there is...but you'll have to pay 'em"

I hope Uncle John continues to add chapters and I can't wait for the day when I see this in the "Romance" section of my local Waterstones!

eloravelle wrote 1010 days ago

I really liked it!

Kate Weidmann wrote 1010 days ago

I love you easy, conversational writing style. I think it's incredibly accessible and funny, and a pleasure to read.

Some of the elements are probably offensive, but most of the literate population can determine (I hope!) that you're writing with your tongue firmly in your cheek (and if you're not, don't tell anyone). You're fairly equally offensive to women, men, the gay community, and pretty much everyone else, which helps bring the humor across. I certainly wasn't offended, and while I can see why others would be so, I don't think it's something to be concerned about, at least not in what I've read.

I think what truly frightens me is that while I would never want to see this in the actual dating/self-help type categories, you do have some valid dating tips. However, I believe it belongs firmly on the humor shelf!

Good luck!

Declan Conner wrote 1010 days ago

John, I don't understand you. This could have made you more that any advance by now as an eBook. Good luck with staying on the ED. I hope HC publish it. This has to be one of the most entertaining reads I have had in many years. i can't believe someone has said it is free on your website. It is like giving away sacks of gold dust.

PJ Daley wrote 1011 days ago

Dear John,
Within the first six lines of the first chapter I was dying laughing. This is hilarious! This is a definite back.
PJ Daley - Birth of the Warrior

Shadowchime wrote 1013 days ago

Funny, brilliant, and insulting. I actually read the whole thing on your website, opened the book, and hey it's basically the website in book form! Great job. I think you should shorten your website though so that it's not the same exact thing, and that way you can sell your book by saying..hey did you like that bit i posted on the web...then buy the rest! or in this case...get on authonomy, read the rest , then back it!

6 stars

-Shadowchime

Mr Lurve wrote 1019 days ago

really really good read, v v funny .. enjoyed what i read... will come back for more

Peggy51 wrote 1020 days ago

I'm in chapter 4 and, well, I'm done. It's witty; humorous. I like the tongue in cheek...just not for me.

Marija F.Sullivan wrote 1020 days ago

Fun! Fun! Fun!
Congratulations and best wishes,
M

- Weekend Chimney Sweep or Happy New Year
- Sarajevo Walls of Fate

Sara R wrote 1021 days ago

Love this book :) I really couldn't stop laughing! :D I do hope you get published. All I can say is... add more to it! :)

Sara

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