To Whom It May Concern

Excellent - reminds me of one of those Reader's Digest books - you are a talented writer with an intriging storyline and I am happy to back this!

Liz
The Cheech Room

I can see this book making it to the Editor's Desk. Well-written with plenty to keep the reader reined in.
6 stars from me.
Cheers!
JB Campbell (Walk to Paradise Garden)

My first day on the site - and yours is the best book I've read so far. (A random search for 'Cyprus' and I found you.) I am hooked and cannot wait to see how the plot pans out.

I really liked Harriet - and wish her all the best. (But I'm guessing it won't turn out so well...)

Susanna
(Author of the soon-to-be-posted - Catching the Eagle. :)

The plot promises to be original and compelling but it's the character of Harriet which is in my opinion an excellent achievement. My sort of thriller. Backed. Lynn

First sorry for the delay in commenting after my recent backing of your book, unfortunately there were a few pressing jobs that need seeing too…

What a brilliant plot!
I think how you portray Harriet through her actions and reactions are very, very well done, you really do make her come alive.
The underlying sense of fun and often-poignant moments is so well balanced. I have enjoyed ever bit of this. – Good luck!!

Good opening to the book Nicola, if a little predicable, with the priest/ward thing. But you paced the tension out well, and keep the reader interested enough to continue.
Then the story really begins for me. We know Hariet's very ordinary life is going to be turned inside out the moment that letter comes through her door.
All the makings of a good thriller.
James.

Good opening to the book Nicola, if a little predicable, with the priest/ward thing. But you paced the tension out well, and keep the reader interested enough to continue.
Then the story really begins for me. We know Hariet's very ordinary life is going to be turned inseide out the moment that letter comes through her door.
All the makings of a good thriller.
James.

Good opening to the book Nicola, if a little predicable, with the priest/ward thing. But you paced the tension out well, and keep the reader interested enough to continue.
Then the story really begins for me. We know Hariet's very ordinary lafe is going to be turned inseide out the moment that letter comes through her door.
All the makings of a good thriller.
James.

Hi N, This is involving, the relationships interesting to sort out as you portray Harriet – especially Robert’s mother having committed suicide and him being a half-brother to her mother. She’s amusing to follow, having lived so routinely and now with the prospect of her inheritance. A few sentences could be smoothed out but they didn’t hinder much because I was enjoying the letters coming to her. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

I really liked this...This story is Superb. The 1st chapter with the priest and Englishman completely hooked me to read on. I love the contrast between Harriets seemingly boring life and then the twists and turns that follow her journey. Lots of interesting characters and a lot of intrigue behind Harriet herself. Entertaining plot, great characters and a wonderful writing style - an amazing combination.
Backed earlier and just commenting.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

Really well done, backed. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles.

To Whom it May Concern

[R10 & 43]

Loved the prologue. The fake priest is what makes it stand out. The Englishman has enemies. That’s going to lead to a nice plotline farther into the book. Chapter one again has one line which stood out. “Poor little Robert, not his fault” Again this hints at something coming our way. The rest of the chapter is nicely done, you make us wait for her to open the letter and build in a lot of back story without it being tedious. You paint a very sympathetic picture of Harriet struggling with her back, her aging mother and meagre means. The letters from Robert are a good idea, but for me the first one gave too many details on top of each other. You have wisely spaced the letters out. Harriet is truly keeping up her habits of saving up the good ones until the end! Although I did like her gradually coming out of her shell as she realises she’s going to be rich and opening the parcel first and then maxing out her credit card on clothes. Robert’s second letter is very touching and doesn’t have (for me) the same feeling of giving us a long litany of family details as the first does. But then you threw me a real curve with first Harriet dreaming of knifing Richard and then Jennifer revealing Harriet had a fierce temper and beat her as a child. Up until there I had seen Jennifer as the villain of the peace. This is turning into a great story. Also Jennifer’s earlier certainty that Harriet’s being scammed made me think. The prologue reassures me that this isn’t the case, but, then again, the pitch does say the other three relatives could be problematic, and we also have the fake priest to think of…

One small point. Jennifer throws a phone against a wall, and glass fragments fall onto the carpet. I’ve never seen a glass phone? You also need to go through this to eliminate a number errors, for example in chapter four: “for her meeting with the solicitor in Cyprus to meet the solicitor” And in chapter five: “The exactly a mother after he had died she left the safety of her room.”

Anyhow, this is a nicely constructed and well written piece. You are making a lot out of a little. I am backing this with pleasure and if you can find the time to take a look at Bokassa’s Last Apostle in return, I’d be extremely grateful.

It's nice to find a book about an older person; there aren't too many on this site that I have run across. Good pitch! -Elizabeth Wolfe

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN;A woman in her 60s is my age. I hope I can see my life passing by like Harriet. A Lot of mysterious thing happens in your book. It intrigued me. You chose a right title.

Backed with pleasure,
Bamboo Promise

Hi N, You've made an excellent start with this. The creepy priest at the bedside, followed by the Englishman's death is a very good hook and already the plot begins to thicken...good writing.
One small nit was the repetition of the words nurse/nurses and patients in the opening sentence. Perhaps you could say 'in order not to wake their charges' Just a thought.
Backed with pleasure, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

Hi N, You've made an excellent start with this. The creepy priest at the bedside, followed by the Englishman's death is a very good hook and already the plot begins to thicken...good writing.
One small nit was the repetition of the words nurse/nurses and patients in the opening sentence. Perhaps you could say 'in order not to wake their charges' Just a thought.
Backed with pleasure, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

A well crafted and well written book for what you have posted so far. Your use of imagery is superb and the character development is excellent along with good use of foreshadowing. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Very Entertaining story. Harriet is fun...
Isn't it 'resuscitate' with a 'c' (Ch 1)
Shelved with enthusiasm......mikegilli The Free

You really hook the reader with the primise and the it only compell the us to turn the page. Charcters and diolouge created a unique voice. C W

Fascinating read

backed

Great work, backed with pleasure, hope you will check out and coment on Royal Blood Chronicles book one thanks E.Loraine

Hi

I like the way your story unfolds. Great ending to the first chapter. Well written. You hook the reader from the first.
Shelved.
A return read and comment would be appreciated.
Cheers Olga

I love how exciting this starts off, you really know how to get the reader hooked . I think it's also well written. You really set the mood of whats to come with the call and the letter to your MC, we find out about her legacy and really made me want to read on. Wonderful job with this.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

You have an interesting and exciting plot, outlined in your pitch; and you plunge us straight into the heart of it as the man disguised as a priest visits the dying Robert in hospital and tries to force him to sign a paper. We are hooked at once by this gripping and dramatic scene, and as the nurse later reads the notice saying, 'Do not resuscitate,' we wonder if it was genuine or if the stranger put it there. You then introduce us to Harriet, a shy, but warm-hearted woman, with a temper which drove her husband away, a daughter she can't talk to on the phone for more than five minutes without running out of things to say, and a mother in a nursing home. I loved the story of her dropping the bus pass, jumping off the bus, and staying away from buses for the next three weeks, because the bus driver couldn't hear what she said and asked her to repeat it. You bring Harriet, a complex character, beautifully to life with such incidents as these; and we are ready to believe the activities promised for her in your pitch. The letter and phone call which told her about her legacy draw us in to find out more, and the five letters from Robert make a great hook at the end of your third part. Your writing is clear and crisp, often humorous, and your can also grip us when necessary. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Intriguing story. The prologue sets a good hook with the visiting "priest." You work tension well--I was pulling my hair waiting for Harriet to open that letter. The explanatory letters Robert left behind are touching and mysterious. Your off to a great start. Happy to back.
Niobrara Kardnova (The Trouble with Wives)

You've got a great plot going here. Your writing is crisp, creating good imagery for the reader without a lot over excess and overwriting. BUT, the book needs major editing. Please find someone, a friend, a co-worker, to take your manuscript and edit it for grammar and punctuation. There are a lot of people who won't read past the first few mistakes.

One more picky thing. People in Palliative Care are, by definition, do not resuscitate. (misspelled in book), so no siren, and no crash cart. But definitely a beep and a blinking light at the nurses desk.

Good luck! You've got a great story here.

Julie Farkas
Morning Call

Utterly believable premise, skillfully told. The relationship between Harriet and her mother is great stuff and engages us in trepidation for the disaster to come. Brilliant. Backed. Lynn

Your flow and voice are pretty darn good, you could beathe a little more life into this, as you occasiojal miss some good moments for character building details, but over all the narrative was intersting and kept me reading, and made me apart of the action--and that's the sign of a good story. I will back you and wish you the best of luck with this. Please read some of my book, The Age of Rhinestone, when you have time and let me know what you think.

Dear Nicola, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "Tell Me True Love Stories." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "backed" & "commented" on your book, I came to your "comment" page to help your book to advance more. I will also put it on my "watchlist" to hopefully help it move up (everytime someone "comments"/"backs" my book, it moves up). Could you please take a moment to "comment"/"back" my edited version? "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." I would be ever so grateful. :) Thanks. :)
Love, Susie :)

Receives in blurb is spelled wrong.
great story telling, fast paced in the beginning, I am with you.
a zoomer

This is good, every success, backed John Warren Lasting Images, take a look jw

This is a very interesting premise, and a few tweaks and a technical polish could make this outstanding.

Best of luck!
Abi xxx

A really intriguing read, a mystery priest trying to force a dying man to sign papers he didn't want to sign, really nice hooks at the end of the chapters make this a page-turner that has been crafted very well.

Happily shelved
Melxx
Impeding Justice

a mysterious death and awill are a clever device to get attention.
Harriet sounds so repressed and cautious that money is bound to make her go mad.
well done
Backed
Micheal ODurcain
Murder on the Menu

Everyones fantasy, a mystery out of the blue that leads on to a different life, full of adventure with many surprises...and the difficulties that follow make for an interesting tale. Some great imagery.
Backed.
Best wishes
Jacqui
Once Upon a Blue Moon

Backed with pleasure! Tom Ryerson (Carnal Wreckage)

I liked this story a lot. But then, I like stories of ordinary people who are suddenly dropped into unusual circumstanes. And that's exactly what happens here: Harriet receives some news too good to be true. The relationship between Harriet and her mother is sad but well done. If I had a suggestion it would be that with the number of Nigerian scams out there that promise big money, you might make Harriet more suspicious about the letter and meeting the lawyer. Either way, this is a good read. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Nicola I really enjoyed the few chapters I have read so far. It the type of book that I would love to sit and leisurely read as the subject is interesting.

I do like your pitch, though may I suggest that you set out your pitch a little more clearly to read so that you will grab the reader immediately and pull them in to read this interesting story.
There are the usual editorial things that need to be looked at- most of us need to do that:) Reading the book out aloud may help.
Your book deserves a better cover- there are a few people on here that may help you- Bradley Wind did mine and he a lovely person.

Nicola I am backing your book with pleasure!

Warm regards,
Manolya- Love in No-Man's Land

Welcome aboard, N. The short pitch works. The long pitch needs to be broken into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

A perfect example of being enticed into a story. No screams, no explosions, just gripping writing. Well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Dear , I love that your included the letters - what an added touch - made it personable. Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap before your story & your prologue, which was very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm commenting/backing your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to comment/back my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end my illness now/6th abusive marraiage." Thanks, Susie :)