Soul Key

Feeling a bit amibivalent about the wordiness. In some parts it works and in others it's annoying. I like the idea of this story but couldn't quite get into reading. And I'm sorry but don't have a definitive answer as to why.

I can't say that I like the flow of words very much. It seemed a bit clunky to me. I thought it was over-written and that you were pouring on the genre which became overbearing. I sure with a lot of work that you could revise this into something very readable and enjoyable.

I like your book. keep it up.

Backed Soul Key. Great job with the vampire lore! Jacque (black attire, handsome, and animal magnetism) was prefect. Description of the seedy bar was right on. I really liked the line…his voice melting into her alcohol weakened mind and twisting its fabric to his will. Excellent way to describe the hold a vampire can have on a victim. Another good line---Jacque noticed the ellipse of lipstick that coated the rim… Good luck on moving up the ladder to the editor’s desk. Couple of typos: First paragraph, first sentence of chapter one- fug should be fog. Fourth paragraph, second sentence needs a comma. His black attire blended with the background, and his nebulous feature made…. Hope you will find time to check out our vampire thriller, Dark Side.
CC Brown

This is outstanding! I love some of your cheeky comments like, "wouldn't go where I was uninvited and he's a bit off color," etc. Great story line and original characters. Highly recommended and starred. One question-who'e Morgana? And BTW-you can smoke in a bar in London? WOW! That's outlawed here in the states.
Dina of The Last Degree and Halo of theDamned

Extremely well written. You have an amazing imagination and know how to share it. You have a unique way of describing things.
You have crafted your characters and your setting well, and I could visualise the scene vividly.
Considering I don't like vampire films very much - except ' Interview with the vampire,' I quite enjoyed the two chapters I read of your book. The vampire sex scene was great. Well done.
I know its a bore, but I did find quite a number of typos. I don't normally look for them but some of these were very obvious.
This is a great storyline and it had my interest from the very beginning. I believe it should do well.
I give it 6 stars.
Junetee
Four Corners

Eloquently written with a solid story that keeps the interest, sharp pitch and attractive cover

Backed Soul Key. Liked the pharse..danced like maggots in a fisherman's creel. This is better than the books I have been paying good money for at the grocery store! I am not an author but love to escape reality by reading. Weekend at big Cedar Lodge in Branson, Missouri, glass of Riesling, logs on the fire, and a scary book is my idea of a good time. Your book was recommended by CC Brown author of Dark Side. Read, liked, star rated, and backed. Hope you will find a place on your shelf for their book.
Kat51

I think the sense of character you build into this so early is very, very good; it engaged me as a reader and made this become almost compelling.
I very much like how you created a Goth feel in such a modem setting, it adds a new dimension to this genre. Great convolution in the storyline
This is a distinctive, very well thought out and well-told story. – Good luck.

A very interesting and novel twist on the Vampire genre which is smartly crafted, well paced and well written with just the right amount of foreshadowing. Your use of imagery is excellent and your character development is solid especially when it comes to Jacque. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

This was the first book I read on joining authonomy, and although I was a little wary about another vampire book - there are so many around - your writing compelled me to keep reading and I enjoyed it thoroughly, though I have yet to read all of what you have posted. It was one of the first I backed and remains in my WL, and it deserves to be higher in the rankings. Good luck.
Pippa Jay
(Keir)

Hello Robert. I think this vampire story is a little different. By the end of reading the pitch, I had a picture of Jacque's character, that was almost likable. Great dialogue and characters. Best of luck! mariecapri (Cosmic Linx)

Very good indeed. the sexiness of the vampire world makes you think of modern day vampire stories until cyber implants and world collapse break in to reveal this is the future and the vampire life even in these times is as it has been. The sex scene is erousing without being porno and you can feel the beginning of the mystery as Jacque realises there is something else about his one night stand and I loved her reaction when she woke up and realised she had sex and was too late for work. Jacque is a solid character as is Simon and Jill. Well done.

You're a very talented writer and you've created an awesome story! Exactly the kind of thing I would normally read. Also very polished, I have nothing negative to say about this. It was just wonderful.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Wow. You're a writer, no question. The imagery you create with words is like nothing I've read in a long time. Plus, being a lover of vampire fiction, I have read just about everything out there that fits the bill so I'm hard to please anymore. I absolutely loved what I have read so far, and without a doubt I'll be back to finish it up.

BTW: One little nit (It's hardly anything but it is in the first Chapter so....Jacque says something about Jill's apartment (can't remember exactly and have moved on in the story so am not looking at that piece right now)...anyway, it should read "your" apartment and it reads "you" apartment. :)

Case (Revelation)

Hi Robert,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, it's just my kind of book. Your talents as a writter shine through with your well judged descriptions. Backed with pleasure.
Good luck,
James (The Lycetta Legacy).

This is the kind of story I enjoy reading, so it was a pleasure to find this--not only a good story, but clean in terms of grammar, punctuation, and prose. I hope this does well here. Backed with pleasure.
xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

I loved it and the way you write so others can "see", backed with pleasure. Of course the vampire theme doesn't hurt! E. Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles. I hope you will give mine a look!

Robert, your descriptions are intelligent and as I read further I feel save saying that your descriptive writing is your strong suit. You are a good writer and no doubt spent countless hours polishing.
Best wishes
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

I love it when humour and horror are so elegantly mixed together, and it's fabulous to see a vampire novel with a difference. I think you have done an excellent job of twisting the characterisation to perfection, making us both suspicious and empathetic.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Welcome aboard, Robert. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. The short pitch is acceptable. With the long pitch, break it down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. End it with one succinct question. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Like the social upheavals that inspired the legends of Burke and Hare, and made them more than just sensationalist, so the background to your funny and frightening tale gives a credible and chilling aspect to Jaque. I hope it's not a futuristic parable. Brilliant. Backed. lynn

Every day more books arrive here about vampires but this one stands out as a real keeper! Break up your pitch into a few paragraphs and it will catch the eye of more people here who are just browsing - they seem to like white space. Otherwise to be on this many shelves already is incredible - this book will do well here.
BACKED with pleasure.
Liz
The Cheech Room

This is different,...So different. I love it. I've been reading alot about vampires recently but this quite a uniwque take on the myth and completely works on every level. A great slice of science fiction, it is thought provoking, intelligent and most of all fun. I am delighted to back this.
CArl
The Time Hunters

Dear Robert, I love, "Keep your strength up. - most of all - I think vampires come & suck my blood out every night, taking my strength because I have lupus (memoir). You did well in preparing me to read your book by your recap/pitch before your story began. It is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "reading/commenting/backing" your book to help it move up on the charts (sending a message doesn't move your book up, but only "comment/backing"). Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "comment/back" my 2 memoir books to help them move up? "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which at the end of the last chapter tells my illness now & my 6th abusive marriage I'm in. Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is well written and the well executed descriptions hit you straight away as you start reading. There is a hint of tension and by the end of chapter one the reader is already hooked. This should be well backed as the great characterisation and premise stands well above average.

backed,


Lisa

VAmpires! Vampires everywhere we turn. But, this one is unique, and his story is well told, and well written. I almost didn't read this, but I'm glad I did. You have an authentic voice that keeps the reader interested and wanting more. Backed with pleasure.

Hope you will take the time to read mine, and back it if you like it.
Best,
Robert
Golden Conspiracy

Just another vampire story? Not so. Jacque is a vampire with unusually sensitive feelings. Makes him stand out from the bunch. The real mark of this book, tho, is the writing style. It's fluid and uses phrases such as "his words trickled into her ear" that make a reader stop and think - not enough to stop the flow of the story - enough to appreciate good writing. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Superior vampire story due to exquisite characterisation. jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown
ps don't respond in your own comment box, rather go that person's home page and message them there!

There are many vampire books on here but from the portion I have read your writing will help you to stand out. The subject seems to be an immensley popular one with writers but do the publishers still have the same requirements? Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

- Paula many thanks. When I wrote this in 1998 Vampire novels were somewhat less numerous than they are now. It is a completely different take so I hope the originality of this piece means that people enjoy it all the more.

There are many vampire books on here but from the portion I have read your writing will help you to stand out. The subject seems to be an immensley popular one with writers but do the publishers still have the same requirements? Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)