Gold Mountain Burns

Backed Gold Mountain Burns! Great historical read. Question: To keep with the language and time period the book is set in, would Samuel be referred to as African-American. I think that is a moderan day term?
CC Brown
Dark Side

Plane, great pace out of the blocks. you start us off with an engaging action scene and keep us hooked with clean, direct prose.
on my shelf.
here's a minor thought re "chapter packaging" - maybe start a new chapter where Major TR enters the novel?
best wishes, andy

You have a great story here, but I think the narrative jumps around too much. I wonder if it could be improved by trying to stick to the same characters more. Terrific opening, instantly involving the reader. Lots of action, well written. I noticed no errors of grammar or spelling.
Only a short sample unfortunately, but I've backed it anyway. This one has real potential.

Fast moving with constant tension and interesting setting. Good stuff. Only quibble was at the beginning of the fight, where the two tong draw long knives that become hatchets. Otherwise nothing to comment on. Backed.

I've had this book on my bookshelf for awhile while I read your book. I was taken by the storyline, the characters, and the development of the plot.
-author of December Gold (a Christian historical fiction novel)

Thought you short pitch was great!
Very much liked the start I could almost feel the tension with Ben and Katherine and then I was hooked.
I’m up to Katherine holding her bible and praying for Ben and this is a great story developing! – Good luck with this.

This is an excellent premise, and the richly detailed research adds realism to your descriptions as we proceed. The dialogue is wonderfully realistic, and the pace is exceptionally balanced.

Do watch out for commas prior to direct address "Come on[,] Lin." Other than this, brilliant work.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Plane, it's obvious you invested some time and research in your work. Good job. I also like the true-to-life dialogue in that first chapter.

Backed with pleasure.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

A GREAT story supported by great dialogue and effective narrative...
su dan...read SEASONS...

Gold Mountain Burns
Plane Williams

This is an impressive plot. I enjoyed what I read so far - intriguing, dramatic, fascinating. Happy to have given it a spin on my shelf and all the best in finding a publisher.

Great suggestions, thank you. I'll certainly take a look at your work.
thanks again

Plane, a cinematic piece if ever I saw one! A fascinating time and place, and you've set the scene so well, both with that scene and with your characters.

If you don't mind a tiny observation or two... Near the beginning, you explain the game of fan-tan - very interesting, but I'd like to see you weave it in a little more, rather than a kind of info-dump. Maybe as Katherine listens, so we see that game with her. It's only a short piece, I know, but so near the all-important beginning. Also, I think maybe there's a few too many "Are you okay?" lines, where perhaps a questioning eyebrow would suffice... ha.

You've done the fear, sweat and fight-action sections so well. Those tongs... larger than life. Ben must live...! I look forward to reading some more, and have backed the book for you now. I wish you well with this, Plane - from Kay ("Annacara" - shortly to be re-titled "Waystation to Prosperity Street"... yes! From Chinatown... but not the same story!) x

Hi Plane
A great beginning - loads of action and pace. I was dying to find out how things turned out for Ben. You have believable characters within an imaginiative and thrilling plot - a great mix
DP Walker
Five Dares

Plane, a cinematic piece if ever I saw one! A fascinating time and place, and you've set the scene so well, both with that scene and with your characters.

If you don't mind a tiny observation or two... Near the beginning, you explain the game of fan-tan - very interesting, but I'd like to see you weave it in a little more, rather than a kind of info-dump. Maybe as Katherine listens, so we see that game with her. It's only a short piece, I know, but so near the all-important beginning. Also, I think maybe there's a few too many "Are you okay?" lines, where perhaps a questioning eyebrow would suffice... ha.

You've done the fear, sweat and fight-action sections so well. Those tongs... larger than life. Ben must live...! I look forward to reading some more, and have backed the book for you now. I wish you well with this, Plane - from Kay ("Annacara" - shortly to be re-titled "Waystation to Prosperity Street"... yes! From Chinatown... but not the same story!) x

Hi Plane, A Sad time and yet a good time for the missionary work. Did anyone pay the ransom? Did Ben survive the terrible beating? An intriguing novel. I like i t and I BACK the book. Harold Alvin(ICON)Wesley

I loved this, backed with pleasure. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

A very intriguing and original story. You do a fabulous job of beginning right in the thick of things, with a rescue scene where we have little choice but to come along for the ride. This has a great pace, almost like a thriller, and I think your short inserts of background information work well. You have some slight punctuation issues, especially when you're dealing with dialogue. Of course, some of this can be dismissed as stylistic choices but you want to make sure it doesn't appear as errors. Some of them are just errors, when commas are missing or the beginning of a new quote is capitalized when the old quote wasn't ended with a period. Great description, great characters, an entertaining read.
---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

This is truly a wonderful MS. I would buy this if I found it in a bookstore. I have no doubt that will be soon. Backed with pleasure. J.B. Reed - Deadly Shamrocks

This is terrific. Your writing is compelling and your characters accessible. I'm dying to know what happened to Ben!
backed
Genevieve

This was really exciting. The description is rich, the story takes off immediately, the peril and the rescues, all real and all needed. You've got some great heroes here, and a gripping and mind- holding story. Thanks for the read and good luck!

This has such a great premise and I am sure it will do well. Already in the first chapter there are some fantastic descriptions giving rise to the different cultural aspects and people. I enjoyed reading this, it has excitement, emotion and action. A good writing style conveying a compelling read.

Backed,

Lisa

Love the historical perspective of the great fire. Your descriptions let the reader feel like they are present for the epic disaster. Backed with pleasure.

I hope you will give mine a read, and back it if you like it.
Best,
Robert
Golden Conspiracy

Tension filled opening chapter, really keeps my attention. It seems to flow like a film with scenes rather than a book, which isn't a bad thing, just different. Well done and backed with pleasure.

Amy
Love Match

Backed with great pleasure! Jocelyn E. Morris (A Bore No More)

Hello Plane. From your profile I think your next book should be truelife. That aside, this book is really good. You have a really great concept and execute it well. Can't fault your writing, not that I want to. This has all the ingrediants of a movie. Backed with pleasure and wish you all the best of luck with it! mariecapri (Cosmic Linx)

I was drawn in immediatly to the flight from the appartment. This is excellent well drawn an visual. You have excellent dialouge and make for a believabke story. Haooily backed

Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley

A cleverly crafted historical peroid piece which is well paced and well wriiten. Your use of imagery is excellent and your character development is superb - especially that of Katherine. Your writting style took me deep into the book before I knew it. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

The marks of reality are scorched through these tension filled pages. This only puts the reader on the edge of his seat ans compels us to reading. C W

This is an interesting set-up and certainly the opening scene is well played and holds the attention. The political / religious argument between Katherine and Quan feels a little too much that early in the story and given the tension that surrounds the exchange a little unrealistic. I like the ambition of the various scenes and characters introduced in the subsequent sections of chapter 1 and they increased my interest in the potential scope of the drama, but I think they need to be smoothed so they flow into each other a bit more easily, perhaps with some corresponding imagery to tie them together despite their distance. Good writing though and a strong idea for a story.

Very exciting and most dramatic. As the last commentator said I seea great movie here.
backed with pleasure

I read all of this and could easily have read loads more. You have a great start which hooks the reader immediately. Katherine and Ben make for successfully sympathetic characters. The snappy pace and character drawing, the smart dialogue and pencil-sketched background ensures a treat for the reader. This would make a mini series or film. Good luck with it. Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

Thanks for looking at Crossing The lIne.
Your story hits the mark in reality fiction. Great cover BTW. Good luck with this project!
Christopher

This is an excellent pitch! It will definitely draw in any reader who enjoys historical fiction. Great job! BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

Wonderful, backed with pleasure and I wish you the best of luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Hi Plane, this is a really fascinating and very original story. Backed for its enormous potential. Well done.
Best wishes, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

This is a wonderful story told by an expert story- teller. Tension filled with the escape scene at the start of the novel sets this book on its way well.
The premise promises to keep the reader on the edge of their seat while the descriptions firmly places them at the scene.

Very happy to shelve this engaging story.
Melxx
Impeding Justice

GOLD MOUNTAIN
This is an interesting story. You have a good mix of characters and, of course, escaping from a city in ruin because of an earthquake is going to really set the story into motion. The amount of research you must have done to be able to write this is obvious and it makes both your characters and your settings come alive. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt/Fatal Error).

Great idea for a story, and it seems well researched. The opening scene with Katherine and Ben fleeing the Kwong Dock Tong with the girl in tow was vivid and tense. Things got a little jumpy for me after that point. The writing was rich and drew me in, but I think you broke away from the main story line too abruptly--it read too much like notes. Could you tie all of the peripheral scenes more tightly to Katherine's pursuit before including them. A few transitional paragraphs might do the trick. Happy to back this book on potential.
Niobrara Kardnova (The Trouble with Wives)

A wonderful historical piece of a period I know nothing about. The writing is fluid and I can see the city. the characters are well rounded and there is an atmospere of fear and oppressiveness throughout. But it is the enduring human soirirt that makes this tale, that humans can stand up against the darkness and say this is not right and try to do te right thing when the odds are against them. the pitch is right, it tells you exactly what you are in for. Backed with pleasure.

Welcome Plane, I read your bio and pitch and liked both. I love that your presenting this history--It needs to be gathered and preserved. Your story is fresh and I like your voice. Thank you. I hope you find Authonomy as worthwhile as I have. I'd appreciate very miuch you looking at Summer Rose, also an historical novel. Best of luck.
Caroline/KC Hart
Summer Rose

Welcome aboard, Plane. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch TELLS and does not SHOW. With the long pitch, break it down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. End it with one succinct question to pique interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

03 May 2010
19:43
Gold Mountain Burns has menacing triangs, villainous gang leaders, exotic female ladies of the night, an unshakeable and strong willed heroine, with a faithful not-afraid-of-physical-violence Chinese sidekick, all prepared for interaction against the backdrop of the Pacific coast's most exciting and turbulent city with the impending disaster of the most notorious earthquake waiting in the wings. Light the touch paper of crisp, active prose and a modicum of historical fact and enjoy the explosive action that results. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

Hi Plane,

I really like your style of writing and the short paragraphs made it easy to read. You set and maintain the pace so well that it makes it a very comfortable read. This is something I do not to very well and will take your work as an example. I thank you.

MM

I remember seeing a film about this earthquake but there was not even a hint of the things you write about. You describe a Dickensian world which comes as a surprise to most of us, I should think. wonderful book. Backed. lynn

I like this enormously. The plot is original and your descriptive skills paint the picture very clearly indeed. This is a book which I would buy after a quick scan in the store and happily curl up with immediately. Well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

It is evident from ths start that you have spent time, energy, passion and research on this excellent work of historical literary fiction. You certainly draw the reader right into the story proper and compel them to keep reading. Well done and polished! BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

You know your stuff! This is a very entertaining read; good pace, good dialogue, well-defined and sometimes colorful characters and an exciting and tense storyline. Other than the opening paragraph and some minor editing issues this is also well-written. Great start!

Dear Plane, I love that you are telling true history the girls abused/sold, so that all of the world may know of San Francisco during the 1903 earthquake - I was raised in Chico (my memoir name is below) & all of the rock fences along the highways were build by Chinese laborers. Thank you for explaining some the the details of this. God bless you. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book to help it advance - this will help yours & mine move up on the charts. :) Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every "backing" you do moves your book & the other person's book closer to the top. :)

good clear story, holds reader and well written, backed John Warren Lasting Images, please review, jw

Well written will read more on WL
backed
anba
L.O.V.E

Very Very NIce writing. I feel like watching a movie when reading your book. Awesome. I do not know what else to say beside of my little comment and backing your book to prove that it is good story. A look at Bamboo Promise is greatly appreciated. I am glad I am the first person who writes a comment. I cannot wait to read more chapters and let me know please when you upload more.

Backed,
BP