Ghost of Buckland Abbey

Bu Dominguez

It's a tale of connections when the past and furture collide. When you no longer know who to trust, including yourself.

Jocelyn has finally got the job of head planner for R&E's annual Autumn Ball through hard work and perseverence. What she didn't plan on was that the assignment would take her out of the country,England, no less. Jocelyn is willing to cope with having to be in close company with her boss, Reginald Crenshaw, but feels unnerved when she begins getting strange dreams and hearing disembodied voices requesting her help.

Dealing with ghostly encounters are never easy, but worse when you're a skeptic. When strange accidents start happening and a merger sabotage comes to light including Crenshaw's life being in danger;Jocelyn recruits the help of her best friend and co-worker, Angel. Will the two be able to solve the mystery in time to save the company and the life of her boss, Reginald Crenshaw?

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tags

abbey, crime, england, fiction, ghosts, historical, intrigue, love, mediums, murder, mystery, paranormal, psychic, romance, sabotage, supernatural, th...

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4 comments

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Barry Wenlock wrote 1109 days ago

Hi Bu, A good read.
Thanks, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

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Nick Poole2 wrote 1216 days ago

ARISE, AUTHONOMY GHOST!

Ease those weary, withered limbs from your coffin. Push away the stone from the mouth of the tomb.

You have one last task to perform. One last, sacred shelf to confer.

Whether you were plugger, spammer, gusher or troll, whether you flirted or fought in the forum or beavered away in the shadows, now is the time for your resurrection.

One last time. Marshall your strength, muster the last vestiges of your power and carry out your final Authonomy act:

Back my book, MIRROR IN THE SKY.

Then, only then, you may rest easy in your Authonomy grave.

Nick Poole2 (formerly known as NickP)

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Hannibal Barca wrote 1484 days ago

Interesting premise. However, you forget to use speech marks at times, and you need to use 'show not tell' more. Apart from that, I thought it was fairly good. I won't be shelving it, sorry, but be sure to tell me next time you redraft it, as I'd love to have another read sometime.

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SJ wrote 1735 days ago

My first thought is that there are a lot of tense changes that need seeing to (a couple of examples below). Next, I did think you could do with going through with a red pen and editing as some of the prose could be cut to make it sharper as it waffled a little in places. Also, the first chapter is overly long.

I feel there is the start of a story, but it feels like an early draft. All of this is only my humble opinion of course, for what it’s worth, so please feel free to ignore me.

their first year at R&E three years ago and have been friends ever since – tense change

Angel mouthed for her to stand up and except – accept, not except

Jocelyn hurries to stuff her paperwork inside her briefcase.- another example of a tense change.

Also a driver will pick you at your residence at about 8 am tomorrow.” – missing ‘up’.

“Goodness! What are you doing lurking around here scaring people half to death,” Jocelyn erupted toward the figure that was in shadow – an example of an awkward sentence. It would be better just saying: Jocelyn said. Also, the language used doesn’t sound very realistic.

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