Book Jacket

 

rank 2052
word count 11086
date submitted 08.05.2010
date updated 03.07.2010
genres: Fiction, Comedy
classification: moderate
incomplete

Randolph's One Bedroom

Andrew Oberg

Twenty serial shorts about Randolph and the small, frozen, and thoroughly odd part of the world he inhabits. Available for sale at:
http://drugstorebooks.com

 

When winter stretches on for half the year and people are forced to spend entirely too much time indoors, strange things are bound to happen. Randolph’s city of Sornsville, and the local coffee shop he works at, are no exceptions. But through all the irate customers and cryogenically preserved mammals, the drinks that magically disappear just when their order has come up, and the simian clerks that know far too much for their own good, Randolph somehow manages to keep an even keel. Here are twenty linked stories, or twenty episodes if you will, about Randolph and the small, frozen, and thoroughly odd part of the world he inhabits.

 
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tags

coffee shop, funny, humor, short stories, winter

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51 comments

 

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RichardBard wrote 651 days ago

Hi Andrew!

Since you haven’t been to Authonomy for a while, I hope it’s okay that I’m sending this through your book comment:

I’d like to thank you for backing BRAINRUSH (a Thriller) last year. Because of you it hit the Authonomy Number-1 slot, attracted an agent, and landed a film option. Now that’s a brain-rush! The formal book launch is September 1st and the sequel will be released in December. None of this would have been possible without your help. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Sincerely,
Richard Bard, BRAINRUSH

PS. If you want a good laugh, check out the temporary book-trailer video on the BRAINRUSH website. It’s there as a placeholder for the upcoming professional video. The current one features children and it’s guaranteed to make you smile! And yes, the younger kid on the screen is really me. You can see the video at www.RichardBard.com. The link is also on my Authonomy profile page. Special offer for former Authonomy backers between now and the formal launch on Sept 1st: If you would like to receive a “Review” copy of the eBook (plus 2 FREE thrillers from the Kindle Top-20 PAID Bestseller list – yes, really), go to the website, click the “Contact” button, and leave a message that includes your Authonomy username and the secret code words “I Feel the Rush!” Details of this promo will be emailed to you. Thanks!

Craig Ellis wrote 1041 days ago

Great snippets of Randolph's bizarre life. Love the parrot in the first installment.Well written and entertaining.Backed with pleasure.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

JD Revene wrote 1055 days ago

Andrew,

I agree with Abs on the pitch (though were you have 'the simian clerks that know far too much' I'd change 'that' to 'who').

I also wonder about your first tab--that's a lot of information and people have to wade through it before they find the stories, which are what you're promoting here.

On the other hand, I love the first story--especially the symmetry of the beginning and ending.

Next chapter is even better, though it has to be said quixotic. The only thing that strikes me is that Lucas' dialogue is very formal, with its complete lack of contractions. On the other hand, he's a nutcase so one more quirk may be appropriate.

Backed.

DP Walker wrote 1056 days ago

Hi Andrew
I love the world you created here and Randolph is a fantastic character. Short stories are tough to write as you have to engage the reader immdiediately, but I loved this. Crazy stuff going on in a very normal day to day setting. Some beautifully visual writing as well. Great stuff.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Barry Wenlock wrote 1077 days ago

Hi Andrew,
I really enjoyed this and laughed aloud at several parts. What a place! each story would stand on its own, so that makes it very easy to read.

I wish you every luck with this. It deserves success.

Best wishes,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Jed Oliver wrote 1078 days ago

Very entertaining writing! One cannot help but be sympathetic to Randolph. Best of Luck. Backed
Jedward (Knut)

mclevin wrote 1078 days ago

I came across your book on the shelf of a fellow Authonomite whose work I admire. My thinking was, good writers read good writers, and so I clicked on Randolph.

Glad I did. Very much enjoying these vignettes and following Randolph around through the freezing cold as he copes with colorful characters. The book features a unique fomat -- and descriptive, original writing.

I just want to be clear on something from the first paragraph of Ch. 2: When you say that Randolph regretted teaching his parrot to speak when he was drunk, was it Randolph or the parrot who was drunk at the time? I used to have a pet chinchilla with a taste for 12 year-old scotch. ; )

Backed with pleasure.

Regards,

Greg
Notes on an Orange Burial (a tragicomedy)

Famlavan wrote 1088 days ago

This is good, very, very good.
I think how you drop hints and details without telling the full story is brilliant.
The characters and dialogue are at times stunning.
Having just gone out to buy overpriced milk, Buntle’s hit home!!!!
Even for a Tuesday morning this is laugh out loud funny!

plip wrote 1088 days ago

Fun stuff here, with weird and wonderful happenings in a mundane setting. Randolph dead-pans his way through a life as a barrista beset by a neurotic manager, a smelly penniless vagrant, a fundamentalist bigot, a frozen non-existent Neanderthal and coffee good enough to bring dead mammals back to life.
Each story is a separate little nugget to enjoy, while together they sketch out a life and a Mr Everyman fumbling along.

K.Z. Freeman wrote 1093 days ago

Hahah, Time to ride the dragon! =)))

Finally got to reading more of this bitch, its pretty funny and I wish I had a parrot that could spew out profanity hahah, although I wish slightly less that I would have a crazy old bat living above me. Have I sensed correctly that something "sinister" is happening here, and by sinister I mean using the name "Brownie" when people are getting fucked up? That can't be a coincidence! Although I suspect I will be the only one here who will actually notice this "discrepancy"

great natural dialogue, especially in chapter 4 ^^

Beval wrote 1096 days ago

Of all the stories I read here, I think the annual appraisal was my favourite. Dave and Lucas are wonderful comic inventions and finally hearing why Randolph had been demoted was most amusing.
All the stories were very funny and some of the ideas pure genius, a gnome throttling old lady and chimps in the market for instance.
Backed with pleasure

yasmin esack wrote 1097 days ago

Very admirable start-who else but would have thought of a talking parrot. Love it! Your story (no 1) is strong and illicits much interest in the old lady with the statue. Your stlye is cool and professional and you would have no problems publishing these.

bach\ked wholeheartedly

KW wrote 1098 days ago

Thanks for uploading all the stories. I'll be back for more. The message: never teach your parrot to speak. "I don't give a rat's ass what your name is," fits so well with "Braawk, fucking asshole!" I love this. You're a writer close to my heart. "You wanna know what those noises were?" Backed for now.

delhui wrote 1099 days ago

Dear Andrew --

The surrealness (surreality?) of Randolph's world kept me reading, searching for a link or a context or some great overarching theme, and yet the lack of all of the above is what gives this collection of shorts its zany charm.

Happy to back for the fun of it. -- Delhui, The Long Black Veil

lionel25 wrote 1100 days ago

Andrew, "The Neighbor" was rather enjoyable in a crude way. Good true-to-life dialogue.

Happy to back the potential of your other stories.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Wilma1 wrote 1100 days ago

Love the swaering parrot - your book has a nice feel to it and busstles alone at a nice pace. Your inagery is excellent and shows the reader the worls you have created for them. Excellent Backed

Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley - Hope you have a moment to look at it XX

Andrew Burans wrote 1101 days ago

I had a parrot like that once and he also bit anyone who came near him. You have a very intriguing premise which is finely constructed, well paced, well written and your use of imagery is excellent. Backed with pleasure.

Cheers,
Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Vanessa Darnleigh wrote 1104 days ago

Your opening line certainly grabs the reader's attention but perhaps it's a bit much for starters! The storyline looks promising but I think it needs a little revision eg 'bellowed in a shrill voice with contempt'. I also suspect you may be giving the reader too much to think about too soon eg 'turned viciously to see what was interrupting her from her dirty business... I'm happy to back it since I think it has potential.
Best wishes
Stewart

klouholmes wrote 1104 days ago

Hi Andrew, Realism and at a swift pace so that it’s entertaining. I liked the picky parts of the job that Randolph likes. The conversation around his friend’s community service also draws in. Randolph is a keen and lively character, inviting! And it's well-written. Happy to shelve – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

A Knight wrote 1106 days ago

This is not the normal kind of thing I'd pick up to read, and I would be missing out. This is original, and laugh-out-loud funny.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

mvw888 wrote 1106 days ago

Well I'm always put off by profanity on the first page...need to get eased into it, I guess, unless it serves some great purpose. Here, not sure it did but I was willing to go on because your writing is certainly accomplished, with a great pace and an interesting character in your Randolph. One thing I found very distracting in Chapter 2 was your use of his name, instead of, once in a while, using a pronoun. I mean, you do use pronouns, but you use the name Randolph so much. Maybe it's my personal problem...I hate when they do that in movies too--two people are having a conversation and they keep saying the other's name. I don't know anyone who does that in conversation. Anyway, just something that was distracting for me. Love the idea of this linked short pieces, sort of a Winesburg, Ohio feel to it with Randolph's day-to-day life and the details therein.
---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

mariecapri wrote 1106 days ago

Hello Andrew. I think Randolph is an excellent MC, although he could have been upstaged by Stan on occassions. (loved Stan, brilliant opening!) While reading chapter 3, I really felt the cold weather, so much so I had a coffee too. This is interesting and funny. Best of luck with it! mariecapri (Cosmic Linx)

Steve Palmer wrote 1107 days ago

I read the first two stories and will read more. This is very funny, charming, but also eerie in the way Randolph simply accepts the weirdness going on around him.
Backed.
Steve (Scar Tissue)

David Fearnhead wrote 1107 days ago

This is polished writing. Clever narrative and good pace. You've done a nice job to interlink the stories I really couldn't come up with anything critical. I read a few different chapters and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I've already backed you so here's the comment;)
David
Bailey of the Saints

jdub wrote 1107 days ago

fast language and description, enjoyed rhythm and language, backed John Warren Lasting Images, please review, jdub

zan wrote 1108 days ago

Randolph's One Bedroom
Andrew Oberg

Nice realistic depictions here some of which I am sure will remain in my memory! Very entertaining stuff. All the best in finding a publisher and happy to back this.
Zan

Hypo99 wrote 1109 days ago

Yip. This does it for me. I have enjoyed what I have read so far and I shall be returning. I would like to back this with pleasure.

Brendan Doherty
The Russian Hat

Hypo99 wrote 1109 days ago

Yip. This does it for me. I have enjoyed what I have read so far and I shall be returning. I would like to back this with pleasure.

Brendan Doherty
The Russian Hat

Papilio wrote 1109 days ago

Chapter 7

Glancing down at his watch – do you need ‘down’ everyone knows where a watch would be.
‘he saw that he still’ – maybe – he saw he still’ – it reads faster and you don’t really need ‘that’
maybe ‘sub-zero air.’
It would be very exciting to find a frozen Neanderthal man.
The pastor sounds a bit crazy.
This is a fun read and I liked the plot very much. I am happy to back it.

Anthony
Aqua Omega

Elizabeth Wolfe wrote 1109 days ago

Short stories are hard to write and relate to each other. This is a unique and intriguing book. BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

Amylovesbooks wrote 1109 days ago

Very clever, linking all of the stories. And they're short enough to read here, there and everywhere. Shelved.

Amy
Love Match

Fred Le Grand wrote 1109 days ago

Hi,
You write very well.
Charming stories, well-crafted and constructed.
I like the characterisations and the voice which comes across well.
Wouldn't mind a small mocha myself!
backed.

mikegilli wrote 1109 days ago

Great stuff. Randolph is a totally engaging exasperating
hysterically funny creation.
Shelved with a guffaw.
my internet goes slow so the opening 4 spaces were a pain.
Like the episodes idea.....mikegilli The FRee

carlashmore wrote 1110 days ago

ha. Funniest opening sentence on Authonomy. For some reason, I didn't expect it and shows us alot about Randolph - although it doesn't seem like something you would 'sigh' - and it sets up your stall for what is a very entertaining read. In our fast moving world the dea of a book that we can enjoy in short bursts over a quick break seems like an excellent idea, and with your very accomplished prose you should have no problem doing well with this.
carl
The Time Hunters

andrew oberg wrote 1110 days ago

I really think you have a saleable idea here. Coffee shop stories small enough for one latte. Stimulating and complete.
On my phone app!
A Zoomer
Going Out in Style



Coffee shop stories small enough for one latte--very well-put! Cheers!

andrew oberg wrote 1110 days ago

Very unique idea here. I like stumbling onto things like this, something just a little different. You've got a great main character in Randolph, I think he's very likable and engaging, people will like him because he feels so real. I was only able to read a couple chapters but this was kinda the highlight of my night! It was a fun book to read. I want to try and come back to read more when I have time. I want to know more about this and see what else Randolph gets up to.

Missy



Kinda the highlight of your night? Wow! Thanks very much!

andrew oberg wrote 1110 days ago

Thanks very much to everyone for these kind comments! (^_^)

missyfleming_22 wrote 1110 days ago

Very unique idea here. I like stumbling onto things like this, something just a little different. You've got a great main character in Randolph, I think he's very likable and engaging, people will like him because he feels so real. I was only able to read a couple chapters but this was kinda the highlight of my night! It was a fun book to read. I want to try and come back to read more when I have time. I want to know more about this and see what else Randolph gets up to.

Missy

A. Zoomer wrote 1110 days ago

I really think you have a saleable idea here. Coffee shop stories small enough for one latte. Stimulating and complete.
On my phone app!
A Zoomer
Going Out in Style

AuthorTom wrote 1111 days ago

Backed with confidence! Tom Ryerson (Carnal Wreckage)

lisawb wrote 1111 days ago

Amusing and entertaining, a it different to my normal read. It made me laugh when he found the small mocha behind the settee. The clever characterisation and the superb dialogue bring this book alive and Randolph is a great character. I like the way the stories are structured and will read more later.

Backed,

Lisa

Rusty Bernard wrote 1111 days ago

Wow! Cannot wait to read this. You are on my WL

MM

Burgio wrote 1111 days ago

RANDOLPH’S BEDROOM
This is a clever story. Randolph is a likable character because he’s “one of the scum”. I used to live in Buffalo, New York where the snow locks you into your house from November to April so I can relate to a guy like Randolph trapped in a small space. I also used to work as a waiter so being scolded by customers for wrong orders was something I know well too. A thoroughly enjoyable read, I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

SusieGulick wrote 1111 days ago

Dear Andrew, I loved, "but I do like lizards" - in my memoir, I tell of catching one when I was 10 & giving to a boy I had a crush one because he liked lizards. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book to help it advance - this will help yours & mine move up on the charts. :) Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every "backing" you do moves your book & the other person's book closer to the top. :)

crazy mama wrote 1111 days ago

This style is perfect for my short attention span.I like it ver much. Great strong dialgue. Funnny too. Backed.

lizjrnm wrote 1111 days ago

You are a very talented writer - wonderful characterizations and snappy dialogue move these stories in a way that compel the reader to just read one more story...just one more...and then the entire morning has passed. So well done and BACKED with pleasure.

LIz
The Cheech Room

soutexmex wrote 1111 days ago

Welcome aboard, Andrew. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'll be your second comment. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch works. With the long pitch, expand upon it, give us more of a mini story arch, then break it down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. Even though it's non-fiction, end it with one succinct question to pique interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

stoatsnest wrote 1112 days ago

Randolph is a very engaging character and I will dip into these stories again. Dialogue excellent. Backed.

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 1112 days ago

The swearing in the first chapter almost put me off altogether which would have been a shame because I read another three at random and they were great! I am sure that a trendy screech of swearing will repel as many readers as it attracts and don't forget how many readers will scan the first few pages. Drop the language and present the book, it's great. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

andrew oberg wrote 1112 days ago

Very funny first chapter. I read on.



Cheers!

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