Pompey Chimes

WOW!!!!!

Historical Fiction at its absolute best. Details, details, details. Woven carefully with excellent dialogue, real life characters that engage immediately and stay with you. There are books, good books and then there is this!

Few stories can be told like this. David Olgivie Grant is simply a master. That's all there is to it. With scenes painted like this, a reader who enjoys historical fiction can simply take it in, confident that at no point will the craftiness, energy or plot, let him / her down. The flow is incredible. Absolute polish. This is the way we should all put manuscripts on here. I'm shocked that not more people have backed this book. "SHOCKED!"

This story uses a lot of characters, each cleverly injected into the flow of the story. Language is amazing!!!! Amazing!!! The way Mr. Grant captures the essence of these people and brings them into his story is just simply beautiful.

I don;t know if I am even qualified....correction....I am not qualified to do anything but enjoy this. I wish I was half the writer this man is. Bringing the effects of war / history / culture to a reader so accurately like this is a gift. Only Violet Wells has equaled this feat in my opinion on Authonomy.

Mr Grant. I have put your book down at CH25. Not because I want to. My GF and I are going traveling on motorcycle for five days. I have to pack our stuff on it. Been meaning to for an hour now. Just had to take the time to tell you what a wonderful...wonderful story you have written. I would be so proud to have completed a work like this.

Phraseology that kisses perfection! That's all I can say.

Dear David

I have now finished Pompey Chimes and have read many of the comments others have submitted. I subscribe wholeheartedly to the almost unanimous praise of your writing style which I admired greatly. What I found most difficult to understand was how/why so many of your readers left off, albeit while expressing their intention to return. I remember an essay topic at school – A book worth reading is worth reading twice – which one might have fun with, but there can be no doubt that a book worth reading is worth reading to the end. Until then, one may form an appreciation of the author’s voice, but can one be sure of what it is he wishes to say?

Your language is exquisite, and your description of time and place – bound up in your creation of character – thoroughly convincing. And your chapter 13 conversations at Fred & Edie’s are quite masterly.

Plot, of course, is another matter and your overreliance on miraculous coincidence and other devices of convenience persuaded me that you didn’t give a jot – I was wondering about the Marx brothers before you introduced them in the last (or last but one) chapter. But this still worried me a little – particularly when you introduced Wally Hammond who must surely have been on the high seas returning from an MCC tour when you have him meeting up again with Auntie Betty. And then there is the Arsenal v. Portsmouth game in chapter 33 – Arsenal actually won this match in April 1937 by 4-0 with several regulars missing on international duty, and The Times report makes no mention of a heavy pitch. Similarly, in chapter 8, while you make play with ‘Shaw’ and ‘Lawrence’, you appear to have the author of Seven Pillars of Wisdom with Churchill in 1936 though he was killed in May 1935.

I loved your table cricket in Chapter 4 … did you play to those rules? I’m afraid I just used dice with batsmen in the top five taking part in a lottery for double or triple lives. And for source you used The Children’s Encyclopaedia – what a great use to put it to … if it was Arthur Mee’s in 10 volumes, we had it at home and put it to almost no use at all.

But I loved the book and shall keep it on my shelf with 6 stars. Of course it deserved to be published, and joining Authonomy has been justified in affording me the opportunity to read it.

Best wishes and thank you - Jim

David,

I read chapters 1-5 and 32, as you suggested. It's a long time since I've read historical fiction - it took me a while to become accustomed to a slower pace than I'm used to, and the many characters and depth of your story. The details of the city and people in their homes and streets are finely drawn. The period feel - 1930s England - is spot on. Early on the excitement generated by the forthcoming fleet lights' show is very real, as is the boys interest in the cricketing heroes of the day.

In chapter 32 the writing is tighter than some of the earlier chapters. Having fewer characters helps, I believe. ( I know that you point to War and Peace, and I'm not going to get involved in that!). All in all this is an intriguing story, one that held me throughout, one to delve back into both for its historical value and pure reading pleasure. Highly starred and I will keep it on my WL.

Camac Johnson
Hemingway Quest

I loved this from the word go. The first thing I look for in a book is exciting writing and this is consistently thrilling in the artistry and vitality of its prose. Everything comes alive in a jiffy. The whole thing has been imagined and put down with such vivid contagious exuberance that we’re quickly immersed in the story and the characters. The observed detail is wonderful. I read chapters 1,2 and 10 and would buy this – beautiful writing and what promises to be a fabulous engrossing story.

really enjoyed this, David.

David, This is a very clever piece of writing here and I found it to be very addictive indeed. I couldnt put it down to be honest and I though for one moment I wasnt going to be able to get anything done tonight. Your use of characters and the descriptions is brilliant. I think it was this and your narrative that draws me into the story and keeps me there. I actually loved this book and although this is not a critiques as opposed to my opinion, I will remember this one for a while.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch lost wont you??

Has been on my Stretching Bookshelf for a long time - finally working my way through that !
I do like this style. (I briefly wondered whether a publisher might want to break up the dialogue towards the end of chapter 2 with the occasional line of text, ...)
Interesting layers here. Good luck with it ! :)

Author David Ogilvie Grant brings us a tale of ordinary people faced with extraordinary circumstances in a classic example of engaging literary fiction. Pompey Chimes is a tale of normal folks thrust into international events as the world begrudgingly departs its peaceful state and enters into the bloody conflict of World War II. In a lot of ways, this is the tale of everyman and every woman who lived during that time, though Grant’s characters are of course, drawn into it more than most.

I read this book a while ago, and it’s great to see that the changes Grant has made in the meantime make it an even better story. World events overshadow everything, but the characters, like their nations at that time, do their best to ignore such things when they can. A true character-driven experience, Pompey Chimes will make you cheer for its heroes and possibly long for past times, when the world was a bit more black and white, yet its people longed for shades of grey. It should be the darling of the book club circuit once published.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

David

This is a book which draws together the details of innocent, private lives with world-changing events. Here are humour and pathos, drama and espionage, chaotic love lives and the world shortly before the Second World War, as experienced by both children and the world’s leaders. It’s a broad canvas, bustling with life, which you have rendered truly and vividly. Thanks, David, for a most enjoyable reading experience.

There is a range of characters, each of which is distinctly drawn. The differences between the brothers are less marked and vary mainly according to their different ages, but there is a much stronger difference between any one of them and the character of Jesse. Their personalities are rooted in their families, as reflected in the very different characters of the two mothers, Grace and Mollie. Then there are other characters such as Tetheradge and Hugo, Mrs. Trimpington and Jock.
They are all convincing and reflect both a deep understanding of people and the ability to translate that into a novel.
Furthermore there is a development of character as the children grow older. We see changes in the adults as well.

You aren’t shy of describing the inner lives of your characters and you do this in considerable detail, especially in the early chapters of the book. At this stage I had the impression of a sea of consciousness in which the individual characters were swimming, with apposite external events impacting on but not overwhelming their mental processes. Compare this with their innocence of the world of great events, the path of which eventually intersects with their own.
While on the subject of consciousness, the mental experience of the dog is recorded, not once but in several places. I found this utterly convincing. Something like this has been done by a rather well-known Russian author, as well as many less illustrious writers, but for sheer conviction and probable accuracy, I wouldn’t you like to change what you have here.

So the various worlds of private lives and public events do intersect, and the narrative tensions of the one are subsumed, without being lost, into the narrative tension of the other. These two different worlds are expertly and delightfully woven together. The tension centring on the young German seaman comes to dominate the later stages of the plot. It draws the reader on, never sure of the outcome.

I take it that the remarks in Ch.11 on the identity of X, and Arthur’s reflections on life provide a key to the philosophy that underlies the novel, while the game of cricket has more significance than a mere pastime.

As I said, you aren’t afraid of describing a character’s thoughts and feelings at some length. Indeed, you seem to take pleasure in describing fully both the inner life and external events. You could say that you are luxuriously expansive. This works well in building up an air of reality, and a pleasure in striving, suffering, loving humanity characterises your work. Some readers might be of the opinion that you could have written more economically, but, if you had, this sense of a love for people would not have been so strong. I don’t have any serious problems with your expansive approach. I did think that perhaps the account of the comic disabled cricketer, Willoughby, was unnecessarily detailed, even though the account was fascinating in its own right! The same might be said for one or two of the dialogues, the main purpose of which seems to be to justify a development.
On the other hand, after Book One, the chapters suddenly become shorter and the narrative briefer. That was how it seemed, as if there had been a change in pace. There’s no reason why there shouldn’t, in itself, be a change of pace and the shorter chapters in themselves work quite well. It was just something I noticed and I found slightly unsettling. It was a minor thing though.

I want to mention your prose. It’s masterly in its power of description and the structures of its rhythms are beautifully controlled.

Just one word about the German. You use, on two occasions I think, the expression,”Grüss Gott!” I think it was included as an ejaculation, whereas it’s a standard form of greeting in Southern Germany. Perhaps it should have been ,”Mein Gott!”, or just, “Gott!”?

Once again, thanks for a very enjoyable read. Naturally, I’ll rate Pompey Chimes and back it accordingly .Good luck with it. All the best,
Michael.

This is an intriguing story although I have some suggestions. You use a great many non-action verbs and when you do, they're often in passive voice. Take the opening paragraph of chapter 2, it's loaded with forms of "be", but when action verbs are used, they're passive. Part of the problem might be your use of present tense might make these verb forms seem easier or more natural. I'm not suggesting you switch to the more common past tense, but that you work to recast sentences using action verbs. What saves this are the large blocks of dialog, which move the story right along. All in all, I liked it.

Ch 4 - continues to amaze me, the storyline, the history, the characters you are bringing to life in the pages. The line that struck me, being on this side of the historical timeline, was ". . . he will be free to contemplate the East. Poland, Czechoslovakia, Austria, Hungary, Rumania--which first? He has only to shut his eyes and stick in the pin." David, this entire work is a brilliantly written novel, with great depth, and stunning literary expressions. I wish I could write like this. Wonderful.
Donna
No Kiss Good-bye

Riveting--great read. Best of luck with your book.

I returned for two more chapters and once more I must say, your writing mesmerizes with exquisite expressions and descriptions. Scenes come alive with dialogue and distinct characters, even Pooh Bah has her own personality. Smart use of language rhythm throughout. This to me is nothing short of brilliant. I loved the paragraph that begins, "The pools of lamplight, the luminous leaves, the shadowed alleys, the glowing curtains all bring back that veiled nocturnal magic .. ." There are so many phrases that captured and awed. Beautiful.
Donna
No Kiss Good-bye

Completely a different style, a scrumptious flavor, written at a pace that allowed me as a reader to explore a time and place I'd never see. Visceral descriptions with scenes and characters that are captivating, innocence unaware of the lurking future. I feel entirely inadequate to comment on the technicalities of the writing because the writing is so superb, so flawless. But this is a novel for devouring cover to cover. These are only my initial comments. This is EXCELLENT in every respect.
Donna
No Kiss Good-bye

David,

Would in be cliche to say you have a way with words? Ah well. You have a way with words! Okay. That said, you owned this style. Your writing makes no excuses, no apologize, and no attempts to fit in with everything or everyone else. It's work like yours that makes writers better described as artists.

Of special note in chapter one was the life and personality you gave to the ball: It licks, dives and gives handshakes.

Awesome. If this is how you write all of your stories, I look forward to more.

Criticisms? If I must. -- I had to concentrate to keep track of everything that was happening in the beginning. This is hard to do with two young boys at my knee. But, I'm not sure you could streamline it without losing the energy.

Keep writing!

April Gray
The Illusion

Bloody hell, David, I'm breathless after reading your beautiful words! Your writing style and narrative voice are exceptionally unique; I don't think I've come across another writer who writes like this before. It's like watching a film, the visions flicker in front of your eyes as you read! Brilliant characters and spot on dialogue. Your descriptions are so rich and vivid; it was a pleasure to read this.

I noticed a few minor errors:

Third paragraph in, chapter one, there's a 'h' missing in Southsea.

...wave after wave of euphoria
I think a full stop is missing at the end.

...elder brother, Arthur
Again, full stop missing at the end.

You have a real knack of drawing the reader in and transporting them to another world, you really do, and it's peppered with witty one-liners. "What the thump's happened?" made me smile - very clever.

I really don't know what else to say and certainly have no critisisms; it's fantastic the way it is. All the best with this, highly starred and on my shelf at the next shuffle. Well done.

Dear David

I have now finished Pompey Chimes and have read many of the comments others have submitted. I subscribe wholeheartedly to the almost unanimous praise of your writing style which I admired greatly. What I found most difficult to understand was how/why so many of your readers left off, albeit while expressing their intention to return. I remember an essay topic at school – A book worth reading is worth reading twice – which one might have fun with, but there can be no doubt that a book worth reading is worth reading to the end. Until then, one may form an appreciation of the author’s voice, but can one be sure of what it is he wishes to say?

Your language is exquisite, and your description of time and place – bound up in your creation of character – thoroughly convincing. And your chapter 13 conversations at Fred & Edie’s are quite masterly.

Plot, of course, is another matter and your overreliance on miraculous coincidence and other devices of convenience persuaded me that you didn’t give a jot – I was wondering about the Marx brothers before you introduced them in the last (or last but one) chapter. But this still worried me a little – particularly when you introduced Wally Hammond who must surely have been on the high seas returning from an MCC tour when you have him meeting up again with Auntie Betty. And then there is the Arsenal v. Portsmouth game in chapter 33 – Arsenal actually won this match in April 1937 by 4-0 with several regulars missing on international duty, and The Times report makes no mention of a heavy pitch. Similarly, in chapter 8, while you make play with ‘Shaw’ and ‘Lawrence’, you appear to have the author of Seven Pillars of Wisdom with Churchill in 1936 though he was killed in May 1935.

I loved your table cricket in Chapter 4 … did you play to those rules? I’m afraid I just used dice with batsmen in the top five taking part in a lottery for double or triple lives. And for source you used The Children’s Encyclopaedia – what a great use to put it to … if it was Arthur Mee’s in 10 volumes, we had it at home and put it to almost no use at all.

But I loved the book and shall keep it on my shelf with 6 stars. Of course it deserved to be published, and joining Authonomy has been justified in affording me the opportunity to read it.

Best wishes and thank you - Jim

Jim, thanks for uniquely reading all of PC. And what a good thing all readers are not expert librarians/archivists!
Historical fiction would be impossible.But even Homer nodded sometimes. Shakespeare wasn't always true to Plutarch or Holinshed, etc.
In the case of Churchill's diary, I see you had forgotten his earlier, March '36 entry,when he promises himself to review the conversation about Superman, and specifically mentions Lawrence's death as the reason.
As for Arsenal v.Pompey, so be it. And maybe Hugo's Marx Bros memory is a flight of omniscient fancy?
Many thanks again, Jim,
David Grant

Dear David

I have now finished Pompey Chimes and have read many of the comments others have submitted. I subscribe wholeheartedly to the almost unanimous praise of your writing style which I admired greatly. What I found most difficult to understand was how/why so many of your readers left off, albeit while expressing their intention to return. I remember an essay topic at school – A book worth reading is worth reading twice – which one might have fun with, but there can be no doubt that a book worth reading is worth reading to the end. Until then, one may form an appreciation of the author’s voice, but can one be sure of what it is he wishes to say?

Your language is exquisite, and your description of time and place – bound up in your creation of character – thoroughly convincing. And your chapter 13 conversations at Fred & Edie’s are quite masterly.

Plot, of course, is another matter and your overreliance on miraculous coincidence and other devices of convenience persuaded me that you didn’t give a jot – I was wondering about the Marx brothers before you introduced them in the last (or last but one) chapter. But this still worried me a little – particularly when you introduced Wally Hammond who must surely have been on the high seas returning from an MCC tour when you have him meeting up again with Auntie Betty. And then there is the Arsenal v. Portsmouth game in chapter 33 – Arsenal actually won this match in April 1937 by 4-0 with several regulars missing on international duty, and The Times report makes no mention of a heavy pitch. Similarly, in chapter 8, while you make play with ‘Shaw’ and ‘Lawrence’, you appear to have the author of Seven Pillars of Wisdom with Churchill in 1936 though he was killed in May 1935.

I loved your table cricket in Chapter 4 … did you play to those rules? I’m afraid I just used dice with batsmen in the top five taking part in a lottery for double or triple lives. And for source you used The Children’s Encyclopaedia – what a great use to put it to … if it was Arthur Mee’s in 10 volumes, we had it at home and put it to almost no use at all.

But I loved the book and shall keep it on my shelf with 6 stars. Of course it deserved to be published, and joining Authonomy has been justified in affording me the opportunity to read it.

Best wishes and thank you - Jim

I picked a chapter at random (I figure you have plenty reading chapter 1).
Chapter 14 was very atmospheric, redolent of war-time France. "To barricade the door against the wolf, the foundations are being dug up." - a beautiful analogy!
However, you have several non-sentences, for example, "As to art, expressive art – the Louvre." & ""No anthill, Paris." "Queues at the shops and restaurants, overworked assistants." - it makes the chapter harder to read.
All in all this has character and liveliness, and I wish you well with it.

Lindsay
A Priest's Tale

David,

I read chapters 1-5 and 32, as you suggested. It's a long time since I've read historical fiction - it took me a while to become accustomed to a slower pace than I'm used to, and the many characters and depth of your story. The details of the city and people in their homes and streets are finely drawn. The period feel - 1930s England - is spot on. Early on the excitement generated by the forthcoming fleet lights' show is very real, as is the boys interest in the cricketing heroes of the day.

In chapter 32 the writing is tighter than some of the earlier chapters. Having fewer characters helps, I believe. ( I know that you point to War and Peace, and I'm not going to get involved in that!). All in all this is an intriguing story, one that held me throughout, one to delve back into both for its historical value and pure reading pleasure. Highly starred and I will keep it on my WL.

Camac Johnson
Hemingway Quest

Read chapters 5 - 8 today having read the earlier ones previously. This is an excellent historical account with such depth and realism. You have a gift and this book is a real treasure. 6* Karen, faking it in France.

Very smart treatment of the times and follies of the thrirties.

Hi David, this is a fast pace takes you by the seat of your pants read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Karen Faking it in France.

David, I found the first few chapters of Pompey Chimes an impressive read. It is has a layered quality that left me on the edge of capturing the gist of the moment, a little like James Ellroy, but nowhere as complicated. This is an advanced style that is hard to replicate, a sign of natural ability to spin and twist words and perspective much like the boys and their illusionary displays of much loved, great cricket heroes in the First Chapter. The story definitely entices the reader to journey forth, to grasp what is certainly a plot that will peal away from innonence to something more sinister. I have watchlisted your novel and intend to read more of it, with likely backing. Needless to say, I have rated it highly with stars. Good luck, best regards, Andrew Esposito / Killing Paradise

Hi David,
returning your read of Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams. Thanks again for that.
Your writing is incredibly poetic and beautiful. It has a very impressionistic quality which is genius and reminded me of T S Eliot's The Waste Land.
Unfortunately, there were times when it felt a little too impressionistic and I wasn't entirely sure what was happening. That could, of course, be me. I have three children and don't get a lot of sleep! Perhaps slow the pace down a little for us tired mums to keep up and spell things out just a touch more.
My only other niggle was that I didn't like the Prologue that much, I felt it did the rest of your work a disservice. Your prose is poetry, but your poetry wasn't as good as your prose!!

Chp1 : “A sea-change at Spithead.” is pure magic! Perhaps make that your first sentence?
Love the para starting “The promenade scorches through plimsolls, eyes wrinkle in the tides of light...” Beautiful.
Chp2 : I loved, "Cracklings of talk", the line about Lyons Corner House, 'one stray fleck of foam' etc etc. I could go on ad infinitem!
6 stars from me.
All the best,
Sharda.

My impressions David, for what they are worth.
This is 'haute cuisine' writing that stimulates the reader in many ways, satisfying on an intellectual, emotional and sensual level. The problem with reading straight from the screen is the nakedness of the narrative; with a book in your hand, an illustrated cover, you accustom yourself to the prose in advance. Diving straight into your story feels like a sink or swim experience. You are bombarded with names and information I struggled to assimilate and I felt intellectually riled, if I'm honest. But the dancing lyricism of the prose, vivid details and the wonderful interlaced imagery worked at snaring my attention..'eyes wrinkle in the tides of light...'
Arthur(.) needs a full stop.
The early paragraphs hold much promise without giving away too much of the premise. Instead the experience of being a boy on the beach playing cricket with his mates, and the intensity that such games held, works very well. You are true to the way boys 'name' themselves, resisting the temptation to capitulate and call them by their real names earlier during the game.
The dialogue rings true and, like the prose, is that little bit taxing so that the reader still needs to mentally 'lean forward'.
It's a wonderful read, both intricate and dense. I wish you well with it in these tepid days of lightweight reads.
6 stars and on WL.
John
Dropping Babies

First off, I'm not qualified to discuss your writing. The grace of your words far surpasses anything that I am currently able to accomplish in my own writing. Some of this recalls Shakespeare in style. I say this as both praise and critique. Praise in that I was often enthralled by the shear beauty of the writing and critique in that this beauty tended to overshadow the momentum of the story. At 166,000 words, I assume that this would be the style throughout.

I read in your profile that this novel is in part a tribute to Portsmouth. As such, I think it is a success. I was submerged into the setting, and even as an American, the landscape and feel of the place took root in my mind. I get the feeling that this initial response would be the tip of the iceberg and so much more lies just below the surface of the waters. As such, I think in its current form, this is a novel in search of a the correct reader. As a tribute to Portsmouth, it's near flawless. A patient reader with an interest in this time and place would no doubt be rewarded for their efforts.

The question then becomes, who is this novel written for? I think fans of Historical Fiction would find much to sink their teeth into. Although, based on your Autho pitches, you could try and hone in on a single character in order to give the reader someone to focus on. Your current pitch is a hodgepodge of names. There is little cohesion and not enough insight into what this story is about. I think this is Grace's story, but I don't know what she wants, or what is troubling her, or what she is going to have to do to get what she wants. I think to hook the HF fans, more focus needs to be put on story.

I guess, Literary Fiction fans would have fewer qualms with a less story, but I still feel like your pitch should hint at some of the larger themes you are tackling. In closing, I will say that if you chose to pair back some of your text, I would not want to be the one to decide what stays and what goes. Theirs too much beautiful writing here, and if I had written it, it would feel like chopping off parts of me to edit. That said, there's a good chance that to reach a larger audience, you may need to give up some of the beauty and depth of the writing. My feelings are that you have more than enough to spare if you chose to go that route.

Jack,with respect, I would have thought that the first paragraph of my long pitch would have made very plain what Grace has to cope with, despite Winston's warnings of the coming War. What she wants, however, what with her errant husband, her 5 boys, her odd guests, and a savage dog, all has to be gradually forgotten.
As for the "hodgepodge" of characters, have you read "War and Peace"? 18 main characters and 8 others, including Napoleon, who has a bad cold! (I have Churchill, whose diary is more interesting at least)
You might call my novel (not a thriller) "Peace and War". A novel doesn't always have a" "hook", or an MC. These turn up as the plot, or story, evolves. My story celebrates not only a city but its lives. Each life is an adventure in itself, whether it is Churchill, Grace Lamerton or Pooh Bah the dog
Best wishes.
David GrantJack,with respect, I would have thought that the first paragraph of my long pitch would have made very plain what Grace has to cope with, despite Winston's warnings of the coming War. What she wants, however, what with her errant husband, her 5 boys, her odd guests, and a savage dog, all has to be gradually forgotten.
As for the "hodgepodge" of characters, have you read "War and Peace"? 18 main characters and 8 others, including Napoleon, who has a bad cold! (I have Churchill, whose diary is more interesting at least)
You might call my novel (not a thriller) "Peace and War". A novel doesn't always have a" "hook", or an MC. These turn up as the plot, or story, evolves. My story celebrates not only a city but its lives. Each life is an adventure in itself, whether it is Churchill, Grace Lamerton or Pooh Bah the dog
Best wishes.
David Grant

Jack,with respect, I would have thought that the first paragraph of my long pitch would have made very plain what Grace has to cope with, despite Winston's warnings of the coming War. What she wants, however, what with her errant husband, her 5 boys, her odd guests, and a savage dog, all has to be gradually forgotten.
As for the "hodgepodge" of characters, have you read "War and Peace"? 18 main characters and 8 others, including Napoleon, who has a bad cold! (I have Churchill, whose diary is more interesting at least)
You might call my novel (not a thriller) "Peace and War". A novel doesn't always have a" "hook", or an MC. These turn up as the plot, or story, evolves. My story celebrates not only a city but its lives. Each life is an adventure in itself, whether it is Churchill, Grace Lamerton or Pooh Bah the dog
Best wishes.
David Grant

You have written about a great piece of history and the day to day life.
The pitch is strong, the opening poem brilliant and moving.
The dialogue was great, and it worked well, but I thought on the third chapter,maybe a few 'he said's' etc wouldn't hurt, and I think probably H&C might say the same.
There were the odd edits but they were very miniscule, eg one being a space in the first chapter, I think it was somewhere near the end of the third or fourth paragraph, but that's petty. However if you want perfection as we all strive for, its important, especially so near the beginning.
But overall this is a brilliant book, its written extremely well, with such beautiful descriptions throughout.What an amazing part of history to be able to write about and remember so much about first hand.
Highly starred
Junetee(Four Corners)

First off, I'm not qualified to discuss your writing. The grace of your words far surpasses anything that I am currently able to accomplish in my own writing. Some of this recalls Shakespeare in style. I say this as both praise and critique. Praise in that I was often enthralled by the shear beauty of the writing and critique in that this beauty tended to overshadow the momentum of the story. At 166,000 words, I assume that this would be the style throughout.

I read in your profile that this novel is in part a tribute to Portsmouth. As such, I think it is a success. I was submerged into the setting, and even as an American, the landscape and feel of the place took root in my mind. I get the feeling that this initial response would be the tip of the iceberg and so much more lies just below the surface of the waters. As such, I think in its current form, this is a novel in search of a the correct reader. As a tribute to Portsmouth, it's near flawless. A patient reader with an interest in this time and place would no doubt be rewarded for their efforts.

The question then becomes, who is this novel written for? I think fans of Historical Fiction would find much to sink their teeth into. Although, based on your Autho pitches, you could try and hone in on a single character in order to give the reader someone to focus on. Your current pitch is a hodgepodge of names. There is little cohesion and not enough insight into what this story is about. I think this is Grace's story, but I don't know what she wants, or what is troubling her, or what she is going to have to do to get what she wants. I think to hook the HF fans, more focus needs to be put on story.

I guess, Literary Fiction fans would have fewer qualms with a less story, but I still feel like your pitch should hint at some of the larger themes you are tackling. In closing, I will say that if you chose to pair back some of your text, I would not want to be the one to decide what stays and what goes. Theirs too much beautiful writing here, and if I had written it, it would feel like chopping off parts of me to edit. That said, there's a good chance that to reach a larger audience, you may need to give up some of the beauty and depth of the writing. My feelings are that you have more than enough to spare if you chose to go that route.

David,

This is a very honest review and you won't like it. I've had this on my watch-list for some time and I really expected to enjoy it. It sounds as if it has a really good story and to be quite unique. I was even more thrilled at how powerful the opening poem was.

Yet, when I moved into the prose I found it impossible to read. It had a very lyrical quality, which instead of aiding me really confused me. The punctuation provided the quality, but it was distracting and very hard to follow. In short I gave upon reading as 12 or so paragraphs in I still had no idea what was going on and felt completely lost. I wanted something clear, something to draw me in. But I found it all confusing.

Evidently I go against the general consensus given the rank of the book and how well people speak of it. Perhaps I shouldn't have written this, but I was so disappointed I felt I'd do an injustice to my expectations and hopes if I didn't.

Of course one bad review doesn't mean much and I'm sure you won't take this to heart or hold it against me.

Joe

I see many comments for this work so I have little to add other than this is a polished, well told story. There are some excellent 'cameos' and visual imagery which is original and clever, characters who easily come to life and a well crafted backdrop to bring it all together.
Not a read to rush over, but certainly one to admire and then savour. This deserves good stars. Margaret.

Reads visually - would make a terrific movie. Love the genre. Your story sets off right away and moves swiftly and effortlessly. I'm not a critic, just a fan of a terrific journey.

blessings,
jim

Extraordinary!

Regards,
Rian Torr
New London Masquerade

"'Ere you are, mush ..." I would begin with this.

Best Regards,
RianTorr
New London Masquerade

Read the pitch, and re-read the opening paras. to see what would be missed. All essential to the story.
David Grant

"'Ere you are, mush ..." I would begin with this.

Best Regards,
RianTorr
New London Masquerade

Read the pitch, and re-read the opening paras. to see what would be missed. All essential to the story.
David Grant

"'Ere you are, mush ..." I would begin with this.

Best Regards,
RianTorr
New London Masquerade

Chapter 30
The bike ride is great. I was on that bike, freewheeling down the slope. Your writing always has such a graceful spring in its step. And a lovely spry wink of wit.
“It's so quiet here that it's almost noisy.” Love that line.
The Magic Flute section is brilliant.
And the finale is fabulous. “Oh. They have made a necklace of the stars.” I can see the sky over the sea all lit up as though it is one of my own memories. .
This book so deserves to be read on paper.

I loved this from the word go. The first thing I look for in a book is exciting writing and this is consistently thrilling in the artistry and vitality of its prose. Everything comes alive in a jiffy. The whole thing has been imagined and put down with such vivid contagious exuberance that we’re quickly immersed in the story and the characters. The observed detail is wonderful. I read chapters 1,2 and 10 and would buy this – beautiful writing and what promises to be a fabulous engrossing story.

There are so many wonderful lines in here, in the very first chapter, that I want to cut and paste them and just make a big juicy list!

Some highlights:
Nil, looking forward; Arthur controlling information; Andy, seeing his mother and making like a plane; Grace with her slots and pennies: and as a whole it's rich and highly evocative of Britain in wartime. Wonderful.

I'm not sure that it's a book that would play to everyone's taste. The trend (I believe - what do I know!) is for less changes in point of view for example and I'm not sure you need to tell everyone it is long in your pitch! I do know that if it was available say on Kindle, I would buy it and read it and be swept away.

Wishing you every success,
Kate
The Licenser

A great period piece.
Superb descriptive prose - captivating.
The narrative prose isn't pacey, but with a use of words such as you have here, you don't need it - the writing is so good and professional that it carries the reader along in its arms.
It could be tighter, it could have a faster pace but the excellent dialogue, the brilliant characterisations and the flow of the prose make this a real pleasure to read.
Backed.

This is another unique idea for a book. It is creative and interesting.
The writing style is really well.
I love the bold writing that you did first it sets a mood of before.
The title is just okay, could be a little more drawing.
However the pitch is good an drawing.
Good work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take time to look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Masterful and poetic writing! I very much admire your ability to wrap story telling and a literary bent into such a well woven tale. Best of luck with this!
Tod Schneider
The Lost Wink

Hi David,

I'm so glad I stumbled across Pompey Chimes. This is a beautifully-written literary novel. I couldn't find a thing to criticize. I can imagine this not only published, but turned into a movie. It's that good. Congratulations.

Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

David,
I have read the first three chapters.
There are a few, very few, literary fiction titles on Authonomy that make me wonder if someone has uploaded a classic I have not yet read and is just pulling my leg, trying to figure out if anyone will notice, like a famous violinist playing the fiddle in the tube to see what kind of reaction he gets. Pompey Chimes is that kind of book. Nuanced, rich, enthralling, but difficult and particular, this is the kind of book that needs to be read carefully to appreciate all its little places. 
It is a long book and my current obligations, both on Authonomy and in my convoluted real life, keep me from giving it the attention that it deserves, but I hope to go back to it with more time.
This book needs to be considered on a very different plane than most of the books that I have looked at here, even literary fiction titles. I am usually  a stickler for an early clear hook. It is hard to identify a hook as such in these first chapters, although, of course, the great weight of history acts as enough of a hook. I loved, for instance, how you brought in the death of king George, merged with the death of Richie, connecting the life of this family with the inevitable progression of history which we know so well.
Although I am not a fan of cricket, I felt you used it as a great mechanism for moving the character development  forward. At first I was afraid that my lack of knowledge of the game would cripple my reading, but then I realized that your writing transcends the game, that it is about the people talking about the game, about the relationships they build.
The description of the fireworks display is almost Joycean, with a rhythm that mimics the display. So too are several other moments, for instance, to pick at random, this section from chapter two:

There are cracklings of talk, outbursts of excitement, jiggings over fumbled buttons, mutual pummellings; there is a whistling all over the house, and a fizzing in the breathless glow of a grander surprise which is spreading from Spithead, transmuting a domestic gloom into an aura of universal promise.

This is not the kind of book that one should stumble over with a quick cup of coffee on her way to work. These are passages that should be read slowly, nursed lovingly, savored and mused upon.

This comes at the expense of plot development, of course. At the end of chapter three I have a fair amount of character development of several (at this point somewhat indistinguishable) characters, and Andy is shaping up as being an important element. But I would not be at all surprised if he ended up not relevant (as the pitch seems to imply), but little clear plot development. This, again, does not really matter. The writing is superb, to such an extent I almost feel unworthy to comment on it.
I will read chapters 5 and 32, as you recommend, to get the feel of the novel. Six stars for now, and on the waiting list to my shelf.
Best,
Maeve
ps, I noticed a typo on Ch 2
Do you remember him marking downb the scores?

A very nice reading which could be termed as highly remarkable and deserves 6 stars. Will put it on my book shelf soon.

Pompey Chimes is an amazingly good example of what literary fiction can become when crafted in the hands of a skilled author. I personally love most literary fiction, but I’m sure that even those who don’t normally read it will enjoy Pompey Chimes.

Author David Ogilvie Grant brings us a tale of ordinary people faced with extraordinary circumstances. It’s a tale of normal folks thrust into international events as the world begrudgingly departs its peaceful state and enters into the bloody conflict of World War II. In a lot of ways, this is the tale of everyman and every woman who lived during that time, though Grant’s characters are of course, drawn into it more than most.

Pompey Chimes is written in an older, classic style. It’s a slow burn where readers are allowed time to identify with the characters and ease into the setting. World events overshadow everything, but the characters, like their nations at that time, do their best to ignore such things when they can. In a lot of ways it reminds me of From Here To Eternity, a wonderful novel centered around people also caught up in history, too weak to stem the tide yet too powerful and attached to the world not to try.

I might suggest a change in the title. Pompey Chimes does not really capture the overall flavor and majesty of this novel, and is kind of gibberish to anyone not from England. A more dramatic war-time title might help it capture more eyes on Authonomy without actually changing the style. That said, this is probably one that should be making the rounds directly to agents as it’s eminently readable and publishable right now.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

You have painted an amazing picture here. Literary fiction is something I don’t usually read and could never write, but you have certainly mastered the art. Your use of imagery is amazing and I particularly enjoyed the poem in the beginning of the book. Thanks so much for the read and I wish you success with your book. High stars to you.

this is a good premise and gives good description. it is a good read.
j
what every woman should know

Interesting - you clearly enjoy your cricket. The staccato delivery is not every reader's cup of tea and can be difficult to control before it devolves into rap, however I believe you carried it off.

Typo first line 'Soutsea'

I will back this book

JS

Pompey Chimes is an impressive read. One of the best example's of historical fiction I have read on this site. I think the dialogue gives us a great sense of the characters. I do not feel qualified to critique your work but I can tell you it has many wonderful qualities. I realised when reading part 2 Sinah Light that it was playing out in my mind in black and white, like an old movie. I don't know when that began to happen. I hope to have this book on my real shelf soon.
David I wish you the very best,
Olive.

Starts off with staccato bullet points which I guess is the type of machine gun style that is appropriate for this tale.
A few typos and spelling errors but nonetheless, an interesting story. on my bookshelf.

JS

I've just read your pitch and added your book to my Watchlist! My mother grew up in Lee-on-Solent and there are so many resonances in your writing with the tales she told of life in the 1930s/40s in Portsmouth! (Play up, Pompey!'). If you've the time, I'd very much appreciate a return read/comment/rating for my novel, 'When We're Least Expecting It', by Dee Fitzwilliam.
Best wishes,
Dee

Pompey Chimes. The pitch shows me an interesting collection of characters and a complex plot, and I'm convinced your expertise would be welcome on our Historical Fiction Forum group.

I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.

Ch.1. The present tense, touches of sinister Germans, and an innocent game of boys' cricket. Love that sentence where his toe peeps pinkly out of a hole in his plimsole and he just feels daft. Such delightful glimpses of boyish life. But I especially enjoy the acute anticipation of Pooh-bah as she senses activity round the home.

Ch.2. 'The pools of lamplight, the luminous leaves, the shadowed alleys...' Yours is literary historical fiction indeed. But I'm not sure who is the Main Character yet - Nil? Andy? Or perhaps it will be the authorial viewpoint which prevails.
'The road spins out like a gold thread over sunlit downs and vanishes into mist blue woods...' What imagery.
Then that stream of clipped dialogue. It is effective in small doses, but I'm not sure about the way it goes on and one. Difficult to keep up with what's going on, and my eyes strain as I try to keep track.

Ch.3. The dialogue is realistic, but again, I wonder if it might be shortened a bit, without omitting the veiled humour of course. I enjoy the incident with Miss Trimpington.
Arthur's scene at the baby's deathbed is poignant indeed. You write very well.
Then I become confused - who is Jock? - Oh - the father.

I'd like to read on, when I have time to enjoy the leisure of your book. You have a comfortable style, and a detailed knowledge of time and place. And I found no nits to pick.
Thankyou for the read.
Jane. (Breath of Africa)

I have been told that Historical Fiction is out of fashion, which seems a crying shame when books like this are being written.
I found the writing confident with a pacy flow. It also feels like the research has been very thorough - so important in this genre.

I'm starring and shelving now in the hope that others will spot and read this.
Good luck!
Diana
Pascual's Birthday