Norma Gene

Hi Russell

I came across your book on the Authonomy website, and was intrigued by your blurb. I think you have an interesting concept for a story here, but it looks like you haven’t been around for a while. I hope you haven’t given up. I thought I’d send you some feedback anyway.

I read the opening chapter and then dipped in here and there throughout. As for your opening chapter, I got to know plenty about each character’s likes and dislikes, and you build an interesting base for the scenario, and each individual story, but I feel like I’m reading these people’s profiles without ever having been introduced face to face. A little more solid information about each character in the early stages would be welcome – their full names, job descriptions, a little bit of their history, and why they were all talking to the president – for example.

And, while I appreciate I didn’t have time to read the whole thing, I did find myself wanting a little more in the way of action.

Aside from that, my advice would be to do a general polish and tighten (checking for spelling mistakes), and perhaps break up the first chapter with a little more speech here and there. If there’s no speech for a reason, perhaps comment on this? I’d actually suggest you invest in one of the various ‘how to write a novel’ type books available from places like Amazon – they really helped me iron out the creases in my writing.

Anyway, that’s my advice, for what it’s worth! I wish you the best of luck.

Alastair Gunn
The Nemesis Countdown

Dear Russell, I love the intrigue of your story & top secret government policies make it even more exciting. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

ARISE, AUTHONOMY GHOST!

Ease those weary, withered limbs from your coffin. Push away the stone from the mouth of the tomb.

You have one last task to perform. One last, sacred shelf to confer.

Whether you were plugger, spammer, gusher or troll, whether you flirted or fought in the forum or beavered away in the shadows, now is the time for your resurrection.

One last time. Marshall your strength, muster the last vestiges of your power and carry out your final Authonomy act:

Back my book, MIRROR IN THE SKY.

Then, only then, you may rest easy in your Authonomy grave.

Nick Poole2 (formerly known as NickP)

The best title on authonomy!

Russell, I read your first chapter as I found your the concept of your first pitch interesting. I found your sentences were too long, and perhaps too descriptive. Could I suggest that you get someone to read the page to you. By cutting the sentences down you would speed it up. It would also speed it up if you abbrevate, he had to he'd. I was pulled up in an appraisal of my manuscript for just that reason.