Book Jacket

 

rank 5847
word count 10677
date submitted 15.05.2010
date updated 17.05.2010
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Travel
classification: adult
incomplete

Grown Man Cries in The Bahamas

David W.J Lee

Abandoned by his trust fund girlfriend on a leaky sailboat in Nassau Bahamas, a slacker schoolteacher attempts to grab life by the helm.

 

Tom Sutcliffe, middle-class drifter, thinks he's ready to settle down. But when his trust-fund girlfriend leaves him on a leaky sailboat in Nassau Bahamas, he’s forced to reconsider his plan. Bollocks to Alice! He’ll sail himself around the islands. When she’s found herself in the slums of Calcutta, she’ll come back to find a real man!

Reality check. Tom doesn't know a bilge pump from a bike pump. There’s one man who can help, boatyard alpha dog Jimmy Bones, but his lessons from the school of hard knocks involve Speedos with sneakers, an ohmmeter, drugs and guns. Tom stumbles blindly into the world of dockyard eccentrics, fraudster mechanics and expat dreamers - a rum-drenched world of “real men” that conspires against him and pins him to the dock.

The mast is creaking, the boat is leaking and Alice is never on Skype. Tom's sinking into an existential abyss. Enter a Bahamian temptress, a hurricane named Edna, and the struggle to leave the island capital becomes the ultimate rite of passage. From a thirty-year-old boy to a man.

 
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tags

, bahamas, beach, drugs, hippy, islands, life choice, love, race, rock 'n' roll, rum, sailboat, sailing, sex, slacker, teacher, voodoo, weed

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18 comments

 

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name falied moderation wrote 1014 days ago

Dear David
brilliant read, and very well crafted. I really felt i was an invisible onlooker watching this MC go from day to day. you have created a very different book here and I have not read it all but I will carry on reading and comment further on as I would like to get this book of yours backed to assist it on the climb to the top.
Backed for sure my me. ..I would really appreciate it if your would look at my book, COMMENT , and back it. If not that is OK also
The VERY best of luck with your book

Denise
The Letter

jfcincy wrote 1093 days ago

What a great first chapter. You've transported me into a scene that I can see, smell, feel, and understand. Every detail, action and the dialog reveal something about the characters involved, and each one becomes a distinct entity. Great job! and good luck with this.

Julie Farkas
Morning Call

mvw888 wrote 1095 days ago

I like everything about this...the title, the cover, the setting and of course, the writing. You have a refreshing style and the dialogue portions roll along and make us feel like we're along for the ride. Normally I'm a bit put off by a lot of cursing early on, but it was all so good-natured that it didn't bother me. Very original idea for a novel, great setting as others have noted. Your character comes alive and encourages sympathy right away, lots of sympathy :-). Always good to find something with a bit of humor too. Well done.
---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

Jack Hughes wrote 1095 days ago

A fantastic story! Idyllic location, brilliant concept and a slice of pure escapism brought down to earth by the crashing thump of bitter reality and hard truth. Superb. On the w/l and backed as soon as I can find some shelf space. Best of luck David.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

Lara wrote 1097 days ago

Really unusual. Love the dialogue. It promises to hold the attention right the way through
Well done, backed
Rosalind
Good For Him

Linda Lou wrote 1098 days ago

hullo David. Just finished all six chapters emersed in your different dialect's and people. Great story but I've got a couple of comments.
Why is your main charecter, who is a teacher, considered to be a slacker and a middle age drifter. How can a drifter teach school?
Ch 1- tom starts out with a run and coke and ends up 'clinking' a beer with Will? Then he 'drained his beer' and left the resturant. Maybe I missed the change in beverages.
ch2 - 'Saw you on Saturday dancing on one leg', but then the 'young secretary' planned her Friday night on the office phone.'
you say,...when it came to weed,...how does that line fit in there?
ch.4-St. Bernadettes teachers. Not sure of that spelling but shouldn't there be a comma? St. Bernadette's ?
Not sure about the Bahamas but in the States, a joint rolled from a cigar is known as a blunt. Maybe it is different there.
only comments I have hope you do not take offence!
Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Hypo99 wrote 1098 days ago

Hi David. WoW What a great and believable story you got here! I have very much enjoyed what I have have read so far and I shall indeed, be reading more. I like the way you write and the detail in which you write. I shall very much be returing to this.

Backed with enormous pleasure

Hope you get the chance to take a little peek at mine.

Sincerly
Brendan Doherty
The Russian Hat

KW wrote 1099 days ago

Yeah, time to move from sushi to sashimi, or from the lady heading off to Calcutta. As the friend said, "get yourself a local chick." I love the tone of this and what to see where it goes, so I'll be back to read more when I get a little time. Backed for now.

davolee wrote 1099 days ago

Thanks Shinzy - see what you think of the new pitch. I'm going to check out Eden Falls. How long have you been on Autonomy?


Hi David,

The pitch didn’t grab me as much as I would have liked, but the concept sounded interesting so I thought I’d read on. I like the interaction between the characters; it felt believable. Good vivid descriptions and the pace was good.

I like your writing style; it’s fluid and easy to read. I enjoyed what I’ve read so far.

Shinzy :)

Alecia Stone wrote 1099 days ago

Hi David,

The pitch didn’t grab me as much as I would have liked, but the concept sounded interesting so I thought I’d read on. I like the interaction between the characters; it felt believable. Good vivid descriptions and the pace was good.

I like your writing style; it’s fluid and easy to read. I enjoyed what I’ve read so far.

Shinzy :)

Bocri wrote 1099 days ago

16 May 2010

Grown Man Cries takes the reader by the labels and pitches him directly into a colourful, noisy , kaleidoscopic slightly intimidating Caribbean downtown market place. What a strong start!. The ensuing story does not disappoint and we become interested spectators in the trials and tribulation that befall Tom. Sushi stalls, the downside of oral sex ( no pun intended) hard bottomed boats, blistering sun are all in the mix of an engrossing read. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run.

soutexmex wrote 1100 days ago

Welcome aboard, David. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch TELLS instead of SHOWS. With the long pitch, break it down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. End it with one succinct question to pique interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Sandie Newman wrote 1100 days ago

O how I would love to be in the Bahamas! This is an excellent idea and the opening is brilliant. I love the pace, it doesn't let up for a second and the atmosphere is incredible. Brilliant descriptions put us right there with him and keep us there. Excellent, backed.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

Burgio wrote 1100 days ago

MAN CRIES
I liked this book a lot. I stayed a week in Nassau when I was young and when my rental car broke down I remember the problem trying to get someone other than me to care about it so your pitch jumped out at me. Your writing style is terrific. The way you place character action in between dialogue (I rattled my ice for another) is good writing; keeps your story moving forward yet lets you continue to reveal info about your character. And Tom is a good character. He’s totally ignorant about boat engines but his ignorance is what made it easy for me to relate to him. Makes this a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

SusieGulick wrote 1100 days ago

Dear David, I love how your hero never gives up & keeps trying, no matter what :) - that's what my memoir is about which I'll name below - there's always hope - your story really puts me right there with him. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 1100 days ago

Mister Bean as written by Ernest Hemingway. I like this a lot and if it keeps developing the way it is it will be a sure-fire winner. Well done. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

RichardBard wrote 1101 days ago

You have very smooth writing style that works very well here. The interation between Tom and Will is both natural and engaging. We get to know about Tom's troubles, but not at the expense of story movement. The imagery was vivid and the poignent end of the first chapter provides a solid hook. Well done. I'm glad to back it.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Semi-Finalist)

beegirl wrote 1101 days ago

Welcome to authonomy. I have put your book on my shelf (backed it as it is called). I think you have an interesting sounding story--but your pitch does need some work. I got lost in that long paragraph. Find a way to catch attention so readers will want to read on. Probably breaking the pitch up in paragraphs, possibly making a stronger hook at the end.

Hope this helps.
Barbara
The Sea Pillow

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