One of the WAGS

Laurelle - The temptation to defer reading another Chapter of your irresistable book, for just one more day, proved impossible, so I succumbed to Chapter 6 - Make up, make over and almost muck up, but it's all in the line of beauty. The extent to what an aspiring WAG will go has no bounds especially when it's on the ace footballer's premier no limit plastic. Starting with discriminating top shopping, the must have in highest class underwear is the uber fashionable knickers - two types basically: those that stay up - assault proof supposedly - and those that can be removed by teeth no less. Are they edible? I wondered. Then Caralynn gets the the cosmetic transformation, right down to the skin ripping treatment that guarantees the smoothest skin and the certainty of needing to come back for more to keep the female body alluring. They tell you that afterwards.. Thankfully, the pubic area technique is left to the imagination. It's so easy for men: they just splash it on - whatever IT is. Still Caralynn is a girl with a conscience; she's holding back on the spending. She falls asleep while waiting the arrival of her spanish seducer. Come morning he wakes in front of him and feels "her make up slide down her face.." Then you, as author, spring a super surprise following a brilliant build up to the ultimate seduction in Vito's Georgian mansion, when he produces his ... I'm not telling - you have to read it for yourself - this book is absolutely brilliant. I'm straining for superlatives. Only 20 odd more Chapters to go - I'm loving it! The buying public will too. Not soon enough in my opinion. Backed.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

Laurelle, This is such a contemporary well written story. I love the girls. Vito is a great leading man and Max was a great balance. All of the Mc's have such depth and your character development is outstanding I really felt like one of the crowd and I was emotionally attached instantly.

I read the whole thing , I laughed out loud got teary eyed and found myself totally satisfied when the book ended..Boy would I love a sequel.

Your dialogue is marvellous and your descriptive writing is spot on this is a WINNER I would buy this without hesitation...Bravo you should be very proud,,,Backed with a smile Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

This is really a fun book to read! I'm not nearly finished yet, but it certainly deserves my backing.

Good luck!

Cara is an attractive and interesting MC;. I cared about her immediately. Most women would be able to identify with her, because who hasn't found a ladder in her tights that they've tried to hide? Or daydreamed of far away destinations when waiting at a cold and wet bus stop?. When Cara thinks about her boring job where the boss treats her as a dog's body, I could sympathise. I know exactly what that feels like!
On the way (via a few diversions) to buy a toaster for her boss, she bumps into Max. Oh dear! This is awkward. We soon learn Cara has recently finished with him and Max is still in love with her . He wants her back and she still thinks he is gorgeous and loves his company. She forces herself not to weaken and cave into her feelings. This gets the reader hooked. He's good looking, madly keen on her, fun to be with, even romantic. So what was wrong with him? Why did she move out of his flat?
That night, at her parents' home, she is tempted to ring him. So she forces herself to write down why she finished with him.. It comes down to Max not having a proper job and his lack of money. He is trying to make it in the music world and meanwhile selling pirated tapes. His flat has mice and she knows he won't make it as a songwriter. She'd just had enough of him not being able to pay the rent and being a slob. She's in conflict. She thinks of Max and how how he understands her. It's driving her crazy coming back to live with her parents but knows she can't live in Max's council flat again...
Cara's life seems to have come to a halt. Not much money, parents treating her like a child, she hasn't completed her degree, has a boring job and now she's finished with Max. She's got to make changes She's got to get a life..
Chapter 3 shows Cara in fighting mood and she sure does make changes.. She takes a very small room in a luxury apartment and seems to be surrounded by wealth and very pampered rich people. Getting carried away by the environment, she gets her hair styled by Rand himself. I liked your depiction of Rand and Cara's thoughts that he's a bit mad, but then loving his treatment of her. Her hair is suddenly beautiful and she feels she is one of the beautiful people, floating around the wharf near the river. She's beginning to like this!
She goes on a spending spree in Bond Street and spends a lot of money on a dress. It's like a drug and the reader senses her excitement and the buzz it gives her. She feels like a different person: confident and attractive. (even though she hasn't got any money left on her overdraft!)
Then the good news. Her friend Tam has got tickets to a VIP party at a club in Mayfair. This next part is amusing as they try to get in but are rejected because of all the footballers. Moved along by a bouncer, she rips her dress and Tam has to fix it with a safety pin.(not very well.) But they get in thanks to Tam's cousin, who is already pretty tipsy, and Cara watches Tam dancing as she sits in luxury and drinks a very expensive drink. She's enjoying being part of the wealthy set .
Great writing. Convincing and amusing dialogue and interesting characters. The reader can first feel Cara's despondency and then when she moves to the apartment and starts to spend money, the buzz and excitement of feeling "worth it". I know she's going to meet her footballer soon but I'm hoping she won't lose herself in the process. I've a feeling a simpler, less flamboyant life may call her yet, but whether the life will include Max is impossible to tell. But you've given the reader a lot to think about.
I think you're on to something here. BACKED
Cherry G.
The Girl from Ithaca

Hi Laurelle,
This is my favorite kind of book and you have written it beautifully! Your cover caught my attention immediately (as I'm sure it will do when I see it in the stores:)! Backed by me without hesitation!
Sincerely, Heidi
An Unexpected Obsession

I read all of the book. It was so much fun. Cara goes through all the changes without becoming a bore. It's well written and you'll have loyal readers.

Max and Caralyn's relationship problems have left Caralyn with an empty space to fill. Work has been less than productive and it is on this barren canvas that she writes the rest of her life. Young, lively and moves at a good pace. Backed K.J. Rabane - ACcording to Olwen

Dear Laurelle,
This is perfect chic lit! From the very first paragraph, you've infused your story with so many details of a young woman's life in a cute but realistic way. I liked the description of the run in her stocking - a ladder - very creative! Also, the way you add in fun details, like the Ugg boots - must let the reader know they are fake so we can identify. Very witty, nice!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

ONE OF THE WAGS by Laurelle Austin.

"This is going to be so much fun. I can't wait." The last line of Chapter 28 could be an apt subtitle of this so up to the minute and superbly referenced book. The quality of writing is consistent right throughout and excellent value for money characterises the narrative from start to finish. All the subtleties and nuances of football, both on an off the pitch, brilliantly evoked and described. An absolute winner. This author, whether cutting in sharply from right or left, scores every time. A top of the Premiership performer. Backed & Backed & Backed again.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

that was a lot of fun and I enjoyed it very much.
A real sit by the pool and indulged oneself book.

My kind of read- chick lit - witty and well written - easy to back!

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

What a fun read for a day at the beach.... reminds me of the SHOPAHOLIC franchise. One nit pick - In chapter 3 the sentence 'I haven even sent the apartment yet' I assume should be 'seen'... Happy to back this, Jennifer - A MATTER OF CONSCIENCE-

Zips along with clever incisive wit and lots of fabulous new takes on familiar detail. So many memorable phrases – “pallid and pasty like the licky bit of a custard cream” “a swarm of perfume ladies”. A fabulous read. Easy to imagine this published.

Laurelle,

I've just had a look over your opening chapters. I'm probably not your ideal target audience, but I really liked what I read here. You've got such a sharp, lively style of writing, full of sublime observational humour. The very topicality of your book must surely be enough to pique the interest of prospective agents or publishers - the polished, quality of your writing should do the rest. I like the duel narrative. You've done the very difficult job of giving both a very distinctive voice - no easy task. Happy to give you my backing. Best of luck with your writing.

Regards

NA 'A Red Sky in Morning' & 'Tales of Ordinary Sadness'

An engaging, fresh story with fascinating characters. Wonderful imagery. Sparkling dialogue. Clever wit. Wonderful pacing. A pleasure to read. Backed.

A good pitch and promise of a good read. Cara girl meats boy girl dumps boy girl meets footballer star. I enjoyed the madness of Rand at the salon and was whisked to a make believe of celeb life. It’s a nice fantasy of things dreams are made of. I will read on and see if there is a happy ever after
Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – I hope you can spare a moment to take a look

". . . like the licky bit a of a custard cream." I think that describes this sweet tale of an ordinary London girl who gets into a situation that is delicious but a little sickening if you have too much of it. Yes, too much attention in the spotlight "can take its toll." Maybe, the broke musician was better than the rich footballer after all? Thanks for uploading the complete text. I can come back and read more once I get a little more time. Backed for now.

Very professionaly written. Deserves to succeed. Backed with pleasure.

Truly lovely writing and a really good modern story. It deserves to do well, Laurelle. Backed Gordon

One of the WAGS
It's like Footballer's Wives/ Bridget Jones...very funny, witty, great dialogue, an excellent story .
Good luck getting published.
Alison

Laurelle - The temptation to defer reading another Chapter of your irresistable book, for just one more day, proved impossible, so I succumbed to Chapter 6 - Make up, make over and almost muck up, but it's all in the line of beauty. The extent to what an aspiring WAG will go has no bounds especially when it's on the ace footballer's premier no limit plastic. Starting with discriminating top shopping, the must have in highest class underwear is the uber fashionable knickers - two types basically: those that stay up - assault proof supposedly - and those that can be removed by teeth no less. Are they edible? I wondered. Then Caralynn gets the the cosmetic transformation, right down to the skin ripping treatment that guarantees the smoothest skin and the certainty of needing to come back for more to keep the female body alluring. They tell you that afterwards.. Thankfully, the pubic area technique is left to the imagination. It's so easy for men: they just splash it on - whatever IT is. Still Caralynn is a girl with a conscience; she's holding back on the spending. She falls asleep while waiting the arrival of her spanish seducer. Come morning he wakes in front of him and feels "her make up slide down her face.." Then you, as author, spring a super surprise following a brilliant build up to the ultimate seduction in Vito's Georgian mansion, when he produces his ... I'm not telling - you have to read it for yourself - this book is absolutely brilliant. I'm straining for superlatives. Only 20 odd more Chapters to go - I'm loving it! The buying public will too. Not soon enough in my opinion. Backed.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

The start of a good story of Caralyn, a London girl wanting to get on in life. I like the wrting inthe first person as it gives the feelings of the girl and her thoughts. I am backing this and hope to read more in the future as I feel that this book will make the top of this site.
Take a look at my offering, Three Stayed Home a WW2 adventure and love story set in London. Any help you may give would be greatly appreciated, JohnJ

HI Laurelle

This is great - fizzy and fun with a fresh use of language while still managing to remain accessible. Backed.

Nicole (Chosen)

Whoa, this is lively, and Cara is full to the gills with attitude, at least until she runs into Max. The still-fancied ex takes some of the shine off her mood, and her boss notices. Back home to be mollycoddled by her mum. Hm, Vito, a new voice, and not much happier ... until he scores the equaliser, 'Are you my bastard child?' ... another one with attitude, and a very convincing footballer. Neat trick with the news article. Back to Cara, and the flat sounds like bliss. 'I'd like to book a consultation with director Rand', WHAT! Turns out he's almost worth the money. Have to skim through the shopping... though I love the line about economic annihilation. Disaster with the dress, and the drinks cost nearly as much as the hairdo...

This is great fun, Laurelle. All the required chick lit ingredients plus the added extra of a macho POV every other section with footballer, Vito. I also like that Cara is not remotely rich, and that all the trappings of a high-flying lifestyle are alien to her ... useful to have a rich friend though. I suspect that this will garner a wider audience than the usual chick lit. I'm not a fan of the genre, but found this highly entertaining ... backed.

Possible nits: Look out for run-on sentences, e.g. '...for the torrential rain to ease, would it have killed her...' should be 2 sentences. 'I guess frogs would enjoy it', it doesn't need that line - the pond remark was strong enough by itself. 'daughter[-]in[-]law'. When used as in 'her mum and dad' they have a small m and d, but when she uses the words as proper names, as in 'Hi, Mum. Hi, Dad', they do have capitals.

Your opening paragraphs make me sorely miss the bus drivers in South London :) xxx

ONE OF THE WAGS by Laurelle Austin.

Laurelle - I could quite happily overdose on your addictive writing. I won't! Instead I'm taking it in neatly cut lines at regular intervals. Chapter 5 is so cleverly layered. Highs of subtleties and nuances: Docklands yacht - Wigan -Dalston - Calvin Klein - NEXT- Chelsea FC. Such delirium of amusement. So many contrasts and comparisons of WAG behaviour. Such precise vignettes of the ingenue, naive, worldly wise and downright chavy characters colliding in dress style and verbal car crashes. The faux pas are so funny. You take your reader right into your so contemporary scenes. I became the driver of that Daimler. My blokeist curiosity of what goes on in the powder room is satisfied and you have saved me (strictly in the cause of being an good writer) the need to cross dress to capture the authenticity of it all. Sensuel frisson rather than in your face sex is the well controlled undertow. Commissioning Editors! Pay Attention! This book is a winner. I shall return for Chapter 6 well before withdrawal symptoms set in.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

Gentlemanliness - clunks a bit - the word chivalry is better: you could be daring and use savoire faire. Repeat upper case for You Tube in same para.

ONE OF THE WAGS by Laurelle Austin.

Laurelle - Gladly I turn back to your book every now and then anticipating enjoyment and am never disappointed. Chapter 4 High Class Clubbing - Vito & Caralyn are so perfectly drawn and the reader could almost be actually in there clubbing - you can smell - you can taste the ambiance. That chat up line about being a cosmetic surgeon is an absolute gem. I have filed it away for future reference when I get down and dirty with the WAGS. Being 70, I will have to get into condition first and apply to be let out on a Care in the Community Pass. Such a tasty book this! I can't wait to read Chapter 5. Mini- Quibble: there's a word missing after VIP para 1.(lounge) possibly.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

Laurelle, This is such a contemporary well written story. I love the girls. Vito is a great leading man and Max was a great balance. All of the Mc's have such depth and your character development is outstanding I really felt like one of the crowd and I was emotionally attached instantly.

I read the whole thing , I laughed out loud got teary eyed and found myself totally satisfied when the book ended..Boy would I love a sequel.

Your dialogue is marvellous and your descriptive writing is spot on this is a WINNER I would buy this without hesitation...Bravo you should be very proud,,,Backed with a smile Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

love your book cover.. chick lit rocks! i love this kind of story where a girl finds her own identity and lives a fab life but then discovers there's more to life then the glitz.. backed!... thanks for backing mine.. I just uploaded #4 novel to the munroe series today.. it's a different gendre then my chick lit books.

Good pitch and a like your writting style. Cover page jumps out at you.
Best wishes.
Dawn,
My Friends and Me

This is a zany and entertaining story. Your slightly dry sense of humour is perfect for Caralyn and you write with a good eye for detail. This spins along at a good pace and held my interest from the start.
Football is not my thing but you have certainly observed well and this is more than a little topical.
If I were to remark on one thing, some of your paragraphs are quite dense, I wonder if you split them into smaller ones, the writing wouldn't appear in such a block. But purely my thought.
Backed with pleasure.
Best, Margaret.

ONE OF THE WAGS by Luarelle Austin. Chapter 3

Laurelle - With writing like this you will soon be ditching that queenly crimper in Docklands and sashaying into Nicky Clarke's in Mayfair. You're really worth it. Gerbils? Must get some of those rainbow coloured gerberas. Gerberas? Order me a bunch straight away: I will need instructions on how to arrange them mind - never went to Finishing School. Great stuff - packed with memorable humourous and well observed vignettes. Double Backed

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE -

Laurelle,
I know that this is a palimpsest, I'm eager to see how your Civil war writing turns out.
I'm visiting Gettysburg later in the year and I am caught up in that era.
Backed with pleasure.
[Titus]

ONE OF THE WAGS by Laurelle Austin

Laurelle - And so to Chapter 2. That was clever getting Vito to describe himself. I was expecting all girly gush and drooling over all and about his attributes. You score on all levels. You have a real feel for football: all the nuances and subtleties are there. I'm really impressed. You do the Gaffer perfectly. This is so good I'll be looking for extra time. Have you been in touch with Mrs. Butler? - she's football crazy.. Like you, she's a first class writer. Have a read of my World Cup banter with her. You won't believe this - but it's true - I was chums with Mathew Harding the millionaire and Chelsea fanatic before he tragically lost his life when his helicopter crashed. Chapter 3 beckons. TB

Smart and witty, with a little more of an edge than you normally find in Chick Lit. I love her rantings and ravings, in her journal, about her lost Max. He hasn't made an appearance in this first chapter yet, but I'm betting there's nothing wrong with him, really. Definitely get a feel for time and place; love the setting and local-isms.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

Very amusing.

Backed.

El
Reckless Scarlett

Not my usual genre but great fun. What a lucky girl your main character is. Meeting a talented hairdresser who sets her on the road to recovery from her broken romance.The episode with the ripped black dress is really amusing and I am sure that this tongue in cheek humorous narrative is going far. On my shelf, Regards, Anne

I love the first page, the bus paragraph is so true and reminds of my time in London. backed.

Alisa
Confessions of a Muslim Girl

Dear Laurelle Austin,

One of the WAGS is just the right thing to read on the beach on a hot summer day like today, the first day of summer! Comedy, fashion, celebs, glam, wives, and girlfriends...bring it on, girlfriend. Backed.

Please take a look at CBGB Was My High School: comedy, fashion, celebs, glam, wives, and girlfriends, but set in a different time and rock'n'roll place. It never goes out of style.

GK Stritch

This is perfect!
I am getting into this genre because of the pure joy humanity brings.
As with all good humour there is an underlying message and this is very good humour.
I’m up to high class clubbing and totally loving this. Another on the list to come back to. – Good luck!

Thanks goodness you’re a Gemini! It would have been a shame if you had gone the route of “civil war and slave emancipation” instead of writing ‘One of the WAGS’—because you have discovered a light and easy-going writing style that is perfect for the genre’. I found Cara to be a captivating and entertaining character. This is a winner. I’m happy to back it.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Semi-Finalist)

Nicely written. I found the change in font color to be slightly disconcerting, but a very minor nit. Best of luck with this! Best regards, Jedward (Knut)

This was entertaining from the time I read the hook to the Second chapter will be back for more,
Well done best wishes. Backed

NJ Capaldi
Crescent Heart

Hi Laurelle,
I have already backed Little Kristina and the Bihar Boys and found it most entertaining as well.

I really like your use of the first person narrative, it keeps the pace of your book flowing nicely. Your character development of Cara is excellent - she's sassy and introspective. Your descriptive writing style sprinkled with just the appropriate amount of humour makes your finely crafted novel a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

The few chapters I have read of this are so much fun! I think Cara is a wonderful main character that the readers are going to love. You picked the right time to put this up! You've got a comfortable writing style that feels like a friend to the reader. I want this to be published so I can pick it up and read the entire thing!

Missy

Hi Laurelle
This book is great fun but covers some serious issues as well. I love your writing style - it is really realistic and quite down to earth. Topical with the World Cup on as well. Best of luck with it.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Hi Laurelle, I enjoyed Cara’s portrayal with her issues. The writing expresses the quick turns of her life and how she calls if off with Max is a keen spot. The other people in her life come in like comfort although she’s dissatisfied. Vito’s POV is enticing and it’s done well so that the contrast here is already apparent. Good texture between the dialogue and the interiors. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

An enjoyable read. Happy to back.

Best Wishes

Anna
Always the Bridesmaid

Welcome aboard, Laurelle. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch works. The long pitch needs to be broken down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. Perhaps end it with a question. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book on the website, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

ONE OF THE WAGS
Some days you just want to read a book that’s pure fun. And when you do, this is the book to read. Cara is a likable character from the start (like the way she describes her mother as being in love with her pressure cooker) so a reader recognizes right away that following her adventures will be interesting. On top of that, your writing style is fresh and engaging. Makes this a good read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

A Day in the Life of...I guess this is how it is for many youger people these days in the city...I'm definitely not one of them! I can see the appeal that this would have and wish you the best
Stewart

Though full of familiar terms and concepts I find this very original. Liked the pitch and the first two chapters. Well thought out and written. Happy to back! Fabrice, Club Wars