Timecrack

Dramatic opening scene with the lightning and torrential rain, the devastated and flooded dig, then the mysterious blue cloud... 'They who would take from them, they also will be taken'. Who is Aristo and how did he end up with the dinosaurs? Timecrack Tracking Unit ... that would explain it. Wonderful descriptions of the ancient landscape, 'conifers screened by thickets of broad-leafed ferns, created an impenetrable barrier'. Gosh, Aristo is a Spartan, and he's part of some time experiment from some point in the future. The blue cloud is a timecrack? Yep, and it's swallowing dinosaurs as well as Aristo - great action scene, that one. On to modern-day New Mexico, and to Archie and Richard. This is amusing, how Richard takes to the American way of life, Coke, sugary snacks, the big 'assed' truck. Ah, Uncle John has a 'machine' in a tops secret facility...

This is fun stuff, Bill. Time travel, dinosaurs, Aztec gods, Spartans, top secret US experiments, and some great characters, with Archie and Richard being the ones we get to know the most about so far. I can see them getting into all sorts of dangerous but entertaining adventures. Very well written too ... I'm happy to back this.

Possible nits: The characters use each other's names in dialogue a bit too often, which can make it sound unnatural.

Bill, timecracks, blue clouds, dinosaurs, missing people and on top of all that, we have angry gods...What a world you've created! And created with some style, I have to say - combined with page-turning, cinematic action.

A time-shift to 70 million years... and we're on Earth with a bump and with Archie and Richard, but what a locale... and we find missing archaeologist parents...aha! And Marjorie, and the Professor, and a top-secret NASA facility. Great stuff, and the little pieces of the boys' backstory well done, their characterizations well-drawn, their thought processes very real - just as in the earlier chapters, the characters were of a different time, of course, their thoughts rooted - sometimes, in Greek myth. Your scene setting, and the plot, out of this world! Exciting, mysterious and extraordinarily visual.

Backed with good luck wishes for you.
Kay
(Waystation to Prosperity Street)

You have created a most unique and interesting storyline and I like your use of foreshadowing in your openning chapter. Your use of imagery is excellent and you build the characters of the two brothers, Archie and Richard, well. Your imaginative and descriptive writing makes your fantasy a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hi, I only had time to read the first three chapters and I BACKED it immediately after.

Excellent scene setting and the exposition of the story to come is well founded.
That metaphore of the damaged pyramid is amazingly well framed.

The emotional side-bar for Lucy is subtle but effective.

The time shift forwards is a harsh jump with that "seventy million years later" which rocks readers back on their heels- and yet you make the two time frames markedly differnet and yet the same- a triumph.

BACKED BACKED BACKED--- with pleasure

William,

this is a page turner! Excellent premise, heartfelt, thrilling and very engaging. The richness of the plot and the characters is very cinematic - and this should not just be published - it's a great potential for a film as well.

Backed with utmost pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

Hi William!

Since you haven’t been to Authonomy for a while, I hope it’s okay that I’m sending this through your book comment:

I’d like to thank you for backing BRAINRUSH (a Thriller) last year. Because of you it hit the Authonomy Number-1 slot, attracted an agent, and landed a film option. Now that’s a brain-rush! The formal book launch is September 1st and the sequel will be released in December. None of this would have been possible without your help. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Sincerely,
Richard Bard, BRAINRUSH

PS. If you want a good laugh, check out the temporary book-trailer video on the BRAINRUSH website. It’s there as a placeholder for the upcoming professional video. The current one features children and it’s guaranteed to make you smile! And yes, the younger kid on the screen is really me. You can see the video at www.RichardBard.com. The link is also on my Authonomy profile page. While you’re there, check out the “Feel the Rush” promotion that will get you BRAINRUSH plus 2 FREE thrillers from the Kindle Top-20 PAID Bestseller list – yes, really!

You have an excellent Sci-fi book uploaded. The Timecrack Research Programme sounds interesting; I’d like to sign up. Your writing is solid and rich in imagery. Also, I believe you have managed to develop multi-layered characters in a matter of paragraphs, especially, Aristo, which is a difficult writing task.

Backed with pleasure!

Glimmers
Jaen Wirefly

Not my sort of read usually but with all thats going on form pre historic to modern space whats not to like
Gingernut

Great title. Excellent writing skills.

Suz

The story starts at a cracking pace - just the approach to keep the interest of its intended audience. A very well crafted tale that should do very well here and would definitely be marketable. Backed with pleasure. Colin

Excellent start, the thunder and lightening set the scene remarkably. I think it's a bit of a giveaway to tell us that they've embarked on a strange journey right at the very beginning but am looking forwar to the rest Will back Jaye Hill, The Fantasy Trip

Bill, I shelve a lot of kids fiction in my work and this could sit happily with them. The branding is perfect for your target age group and the title is catchy and trendy. That's not even mentioning the content, your pitch is relevant and punchy, your writing style is full of the enthusiasm you have poured into this work. It has landmarks within that would anchor the attention spans of children who, lets face it are spoilt for choice with more vibrant writing emerging now than ever before. As a result kids fiction is very healthy and very competitive with strongly honed brands and loyalties.
Best of luck,
[Titus]

William. This is a great fun read. Your enjoyment at writing it also shows, as it flows well. I am wondering whether it might be helpful if you described in more detail Amasia, as they enter this parallel world, so that a greater psycological contrast in the readers mind can be developed early. Only a thought, not a criticism. still reading it. Will back it.
Please comment/back my childrens book if you have the time. Thanks.
Jerry [paperbat]

Than you , Jerry, for your kind comments.
On describing Amasia in more detail; I have endeavoured to do this at various stages throughout the book. Historically, by introducing the story of the Arnaks and the Salakins and, also, the current scene through succeeding chapters. Hopefully, it all comes together by the end of the book!
Good luck with your own book. I enjoyed and backed it.

Bill Long
Timecrack

Achie and Richard on a visit to their uncles experimental facility come in contact with a blue cloud rising from the epicentre of the 'Do-nut' and disapear from the gantry above. Many hundred years ago a young Greek soldier was taken, and during a re-entry, a futuristic space ship from Mars encounters the same blue cloud.
Great story encompassing the past, present and future. The archaeologists in the opening was the first gambit in 'Timecrack so at least we have the professionals on board because the archaeology comes alive in the second gambit, and I thought that was a nice touch, and detracted from complicated explanations. Assuming the Greek boy has no archaeology, and would be dumbfounded by the dinosaurs, not knowing what they were. However that possible trip up has been covered deftly in my opinion, so for that reason and the fact Timetrack is a great read you have my backing.
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.

This is a good well paced science fiction story with an unusual beginning. Dr Kinross and his wife have disappeared and Manuel believes that the God Chac has taken them. THe chapters I've read are well paced and, although I'm not a fan of the genre, I can see the merit of the story and the intrigue you have created. Backed K.J.

William. This is a great fun read. Your enjoyment at writing it also shows, as it flows well. I am wondering whether it might be helpful if you described in more detail Amasia, as they enter this parallel world, so that a greater psycological contrast in the readers mind can be developed early. Only a thought, not a criticism. still reading it. Will back it.
Please comment/back my childrens book if you have the time. Thanks.
Jerry [paperbat]

Cool YA book. very imaginitive. Like the cover too, although the cover reminds me of an early version of a wrinkle in time from the 70's I think....

backed

Ron Coffman - DRAGON'S LIGHT

You've spun mythology and science fiction into a fabulous adventure. Backed with pleasure, Sana x

Fabulous descriptive writing with lots of sizzling vitality running through it. This is both playful and intelligent, conceived with an admirable breadth of imagination. Like the juxtaposition of the primal forces of nature with steely monitoring devices as if the world has been split into diametrical opposites. This is great storytelling with its thundering waterfalls, berry collecting for rations, the triple horned dinosaur herds and the Timecrack Research Programme. Only slight reservation I had was the continuing use of characters names in the dialogue in chapter one but I see Sly has already pointed that out. For example you don’t need to say “Manuel” when afterwards you write “But Manuel wasn’t listening.”

Brilliant work..... Backed with utmost pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

This is a keenly written fantasy adventure. Very believable characters and vivid scenes. Convincing dialogue. Awesome world building. Backed.

Backed. Chapter 1 leaves the reader hanging and begging for more. Great style, intriquing plot, and fast pace makes timecrack a winner in our book!!!
CC Brown
Dark Side

interesting piece of fiction

Dear William
yes just love the long pitch and read more of your book, anything to do with time travel is my cup of tea for sure

first time around and then the second as well. Yes i have commented and backed your book, however cannot find the backing so will do it again, because it is WORTH IT
the VERY best of luck
If you have not already , please comment on my book and BACK it if not that is OK also
Denise
The Letter

Great pitch and very well written. I just love the cover page.
Backed with pleasure.

Dawn xxx

You have an intersting premise that allowys the reader to visualise a lot of what you have written. A bit mote dialouge would'nt go a miss as I cant get my head around the personalities. The idea of the time crack is a good one reminds me of the Aslan stories. I hope this does well for you.

Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley - I hope you have a minute to take a look

Dear Bill,
What a creative premise - it reminds me a bit of "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" in that the kids go through a dvision between worlds. The blue cloud and the pyramid set the mystical tone right away. You have a very well written book here!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Here is your chance to get a double backing. My friend, homewriter, and I have similar taste in writing and trust each other's judgment. Back my book (already done -thanks!) and leave it on your bookshelf. Then do the same for his, "The Harpist of Madrid." Once the backings register, he will give you a return backing guaranteed. Just let him know in an email that you've backed my book as well as his. You might have to be a bit patient as we're 6 time zones apart. But you'll have two backings guaranteed on your excellent book. Of course, comments are always welcome too!

End of chapter 3 and this continues to move along at a fast pace and to retain the readers interest.

I found two editorial issues, both in the paragraph that begins, "Inside the cool and airy spacious canteen . . ."

First, it seems that it should read, "Inside the cool, airy and spacious canteen".

Second, in the middle of the paragraph you have, ". . . Marjorie felt able to relax for the first since arriving in America. . ." It seems that it should read "for the first time since".

Hope this helps. I don't don't what old Schwarznegger (actually that should be Schwarzenegger) film they were showing, but to use a line from one: I'll be back.

Steven Lloyd
The Audacity of Hope and Change

Interesting!! thanks for the back on my book. I really appreciate. Your pitch is very attention grabbings. Consider this my thanks to you. Backed!

This is quite a story! Mystery, time travel, exotic locations - you have it all. I've only read 2 chapters so far, but I can tell that this is one of those rare books on authonomy that I will be reading through to the end. I look forward to coming back to continue my read.

So far I've only found one thing that struck me as "not quite right". In chapter 2 you talk about an earthquake beginning to "erupt". I associate eruptions with volcanoes, not earthquakes. They cause the earth to tremble. Anyway, it just struck me as odd. Something to think about.

Backed.

Steven Lloyd
The Audacity of Hope and Change

Bill
Your book is very well-written and held my attention right from the dramatic first chapter. Your descriptions of places and events are atmospheric and I had no difficulty in imagining them. No criticisms. Backed.
Best wishes with it
William (The Caves of Caerdraig)

My children would have loved this and I suspect they may even still sneak a peak at it. Well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Hi William

Great opening - each of the first 3 chapters is like a whole new story - so different in tone and content, but all very professionally executed. Backed.

Nicole

This is the type of book I love. You have a great opening and I can picture the site perfectly from your descriptions. Malcolm and Lucy are interesting characters and I want to know more and keep reading. Jumping to Manuel's point of view, you've carried on the intrigue. There's nothing here that I don't like.
Backed with pleasure x

Small typo -
'he had yet to realise (it's) purpose' - 'its'

Dramatic opening scene with the lightning and torrential rain, the devastated and flooded dig, then the mysterious blue cloud... 'They who would take from them, they also will be taken'. Who is Aristo and how did he end up with the dinosaurs? Timecrack Tracking Unit ... that would explain it. Wonderful descriptions of the ancient landscape, 'conifers screened by thickets of broad-leafed ferns, created an impenetrable barrier'. Gosh, Aristo is a Spartan, and he's part of some time experiment from some point in the future. The blue cloud is a timecrack? Yep, and it's swallowing dinosaurs as well as Aristo - great action scene, that one. On to modern-day New Mexico, and to Archie and Richard. This is amusing, how Richard takes to the American way of life, Coke, sugary snacks, the big 'assed' truck. Ah, Uncle John has a 'machine' in a tops secret facility...

This is fun stuff, Bill. Time travel, dinosaurs, Aztec gods, Spartans, top secret US experiments, and some great characters, with Archie and Richard being the ones we get to know the most about so far. I can see them getting into all sorts of dangerous but entertaining adventures. Very well written too ... I'm happy to back this.

Possible nits: The characters use each other's names in dialogue a bit too often, which can make it sound unnatural.

One of the more professional-looking covers I've seen here but more importantly...the story. You have every possible ingredient to enthrall the YA crowd. I was actually thinking this would appeal to my 10-year-old as well, but perhaps just a bit above his reading level. Likable characters, exotic locales, this has it all. Well done.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

Hi Bill. It doesn't look like you need my encouragement, so just a note to say thank you. K A

Hello Bill, Many thanks for backing The Doctor of Summitville" and for opening the door to "Timecrack." After reading several chapters, I'm convinced that YAs will be entranced by these other-world adventures. You have my full support. Best of luck with this novel and its sequel, Bill

Bill, timecracks, blue clouds, dinosaurs, missing people and on top of all that, we have angry gods...What a world you've created! And created with some style, I have to say - combined with page-turning, cinematic action.

A time-shift to 70 million years... and we're on Earth with a bump and with Archie and Richard, but what a locale... and we find missing archaeologist parents...aha! And Marjorie, and the Professor, and a top-secret NASA facility. Great stuff, and the little pieces of the boys' backstory well done, their characterizations well-drawn, their thought processes very real - just as in the earlier chapters, the characters were of a different time, of course, their thoughts rooted - sometimes, in Greek myth. Your scene setting, and the plot, out of this world! Exciting, mysterious and extraordinarily visual.

Backed with good luck wishes for you.
Kay
(Waystation to Prosperity Street)

You have created a most unique and interesting storyline and I like your use of foreshadowing in your openning chapter. Your use of imagery is excellent and you build the characters of the two brothers, Archie and Richard, well. Your imaginative and descriptive writing makes your fantasy a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

The more I read the more I want to read. You paint scenes so well they become real, emotions conveyed are powerful. The people in the first scene helpless. There is a sense of a hell of a story to come and you build in well the plot. A real treat of fantasy sci fi and fiction.
Happily backed
Christina
From Under the Bed

Excellent fantasy type story. I love it now and would have loved it when I was younger as well. It seems full of adventure, intrigue and fun. BACKED.

Chase

A promising pitch and a really good and intriguing beginning. Already on my shelf.

K
Nick Keen's Guide to Ghost Cleaning

Hi, I only had time to read the first three chapters and I BACKED it immediately after.

Excellent scene setting and the exposition of the story to come is well founded.
That metaphore of the damaged pyramid is amazingly well framed.

The emotional side-bar for Lucy is subtle but effective.

The time shift forwards is a harsh jump with that "seventy million years later" which rocks readers back on their heels- and yet you make the two time frames markedly differnet and yet the same- a triumph.

BACKED BACKED BACKED--- with pleasure

William,

this is a page turner! Excellent premise, heartfelt, thrilling and very engaging. The richness of the plot and the characters is very cinematic - and this should not just be published - it's a great potential for a film as well.

Backed with utmost pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

Timecrack

William Long

William,
I was happy to place yours on my shelf a few days ago.
However, I am not doing in-depth or lengthy reviews anymore as a rule. If you look at my early comments on books I reviewed on the site, you will see that I used to read at least three chapters of every book reviewed, sometimes more, and write a fairly long, sometimes essay-style critique. I have been on the site for about a year now and have read many chapters from about 600 books or more. My eyesight has been affected by continuous electronic reading and with so many books on the site now and that insane pressure to constantly be reading and commenting and backing to keep arrows green, this is putting a strain on my life. I have a family with young children and resulting domestic responsibilities, career-related projects I am working on, as well as eight books on Authonomy to continuously edit and refine and the present modus operandi is no longer conducive to my reading and writing extensive comments.

I DO NOT DO BLIND BACKINGS. I have backed your book ONLY AFTER reading your pitches AND first HC chapter or prologue upload. My backing means I was impressed by your piece and believe your book has potential and deserves an HC review. I hope you will pay me the courtesy of looking at mine and if you think it has potential, back it if you feel like. It’s up to you and your assessment, and of course, your conscience.

If however you leave me a comment on the Somnambulist which clearly indicates you have read it or parts of it, AND the comment is helpful and/or substantive, I will make the time and take the effort to leave you an indepth comment on yours as well.

In the meantime, I was honoured to have given your book a spin on my shelf, genuinely believe it has potential and I wish you the best in finding a publisher.
Zan

I like the premise the 'Timecrack'. Very clever .
I am backing but plan to read further.
I want to learn more of the travels.
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton

What is that strange cloud doing there? I love the Mayan setting. It helps to prepare for the changes that are about to happen. Your descriptions remind me of the couple of times I visited Yucatan a couple of decades ago. The great cloud being Chac is a great idea. Both Lucy and Kinross are enveloped in the cloud and off they go "on a very strange journey that few would believe possible. I'm so glad you uploaded the complete text. I want to return to read more once World Cup winds down. I have to check out the Japan-Paraguay game soon. Simply, you have got me intrigued and I'll come back for more. Backed for now.

William -

Timecrack - This must have been fun to write, which shines throughl And somehow I don't mind being catapulted Seventy million years ahead in chapter 3. Glorious imagination. When it came to Prof Chuck I had to go back to chapter 1 and make sure he wasn't the Mayan god Chac re-incarnated. But then he may well be. I just travelled along.

Backed recently. Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Wicked. I love it.
Melanie Kendry The Boy Time Forgot

Hi William, An immersing conjunction of events and told with the impact of the deaths resulting. The magic of the light in the stone comes about in a convincing way. Kinross’ expertise makes that so too. I liked how you incorporated the Mayan mythology into this. It makes a good entry into the synopsis and is written with enticing possibility. Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

William i started reading this a while ago and continued as i said i would. I am not sure whether i backed you at the time however i am backing you now. Your pitch is so well crafted as is your book and the futuristic setting you have is excellent. You have created another world for me with this book and I believe you would really enjoy BUD CARROLL's book , he has four in the series. BACKED for the skill ........My book is of a different genre but that is the beauty of this site, and if you could 'review' and 'comment' and BACK it, I would be so happy. Again BEST OF LUCK with your book

Denise
The Letter

Hi William. What a great concept and plot. The atmoshere was built so well at the start, leading to Malcolm and Lucy's disappearance. Straight into the Timecrack with Aristo and the dinosaurs. Your story is well written, full of adventure and a real page turner. I'm sure it will be loved by its genre. Backed and wish you all the best of luck with it! Maria (Cosmic Linx)

This is a very fine story indeed. Your pitch, and the idea of 'Timecracks' blew me away. As a fellow time traveller, I love the idea of such portals to other universes and Archie and Richard are the most endearing MCs. It some way it reminded me of Tunnels (a British children's book), but considerably more accessible and appealing. Your descriptions are wonderful and your pace is spot on for a younger target audience.
Ia m delighted to back this.
Carl
The Time Hunters

It's a good pitch and you start with a dramatic moment. The chapter and its drama are hampered by your descriptions of physical appearances. It suggests a romance rather than a thriller. The first paragraph confuses because the second sentence could be referring to boy or man. Perhaps give us a visual fix of the three figures and the scene they're surveying, letting the various details of their appearance come gradually and later rather than slow don the drama. I like the idea of a timecrack and little figures slipping through it. For this first chapter thought, the scene of devastation is the priority.